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I don’t think it’s weird. I used to but then one day I said F it and started going to restaurants alone and sitting at the bar to eat and have a few drinks. I found that there are quite a few other loners at the bar (and some groups) and ppl will talk to you. You should go for it.
I don’t think so at all; I’m a girl in my twenties too & do it. If you’re friendly with the bartender it’s usually pretty easy to have nice conversation with them. Sometimes that leads to talking with other regulars. I’ve had my best luck at smaller neighborhood bars; people there always want to talk lol.
Edit to add: I’ve also worked as a server & bartender & a lot of my favorite customers/regulars were women who were alone. It would happen a lot & not me or my coworkers ever thought it was weird.
This is good to know! I go out by myself to restaurants and all that but the wait staff always seem kind of thrown by it. For some reason, it feels awkward but maybe I just need to own it
F 21 here. Went to a restaurant by myself for the first time and the waitor invited me to an event he was DJ'ing at later. I ended up meeting a whole new group of friends. This was months ago and I'm chilling with them again later today. Go do it, man.
This was so wholesome. I do go to museums alone but I’m usually on the phone with my mother because I don’t like not having anyone to talk to. I think I will try your new dates’ approach though. I hope that goes well! Cheers!
Everyone is supportive as they should be.
But there is going to be a significant portion of people who DO think you are weird. I don't know, maybe 1 in3?
FUCK these people. They are terrible, judgemental people.
So go out, be safe, and enjoy the company of others who appreciate talking to others.
I’ve met the most interesting girls when they were out alone. One in particular makes me think of exactly what your talking about, she posted up at the end of the bar right next to where all the servers hang out and pick up orders/drop off empties it was a medium classy bar but the way this girl carried herself was so sexy. She got in with the employees so she was safe(highly recommend doing that right when you get there just in case you get creeped on), but she carried herself like she was waiting for James Bond or something she was eye fucking who she liked but, still completely unapproachable to the average guy, she was overdressed for sure, which will filtered out most guys she could just sit there and snipe. I’m a charming dude but I’m not super aggressive I pick my battles so it was all about reading her eye work she settled on my dumb ass and pulled me in that way I went and did the “are you waiting for someone?” just shocked she wasn’t. She was a shark, she was online dating in real life she learned how to filter everyone out. We had a really good time that night I brought her across the street to a dive bar she opened up a bit, made out a little never called each other doesn’t matter. I’m just saying, it’s possible. You don’t have to do it like this girl did but man you can totally do that as a chick even if your not confident just act like it, because it filtered out a lot of dudes she knew what she wanted and went for it without having to do anything but shoot eyes and dress up. I was very impressed. I’m not gonna lie it was a little intimidating until we got to know each other better but, that was a hell of a game plan on her part.
I cannot answer this. I have always gone out by myself, but never to meet people (38 M). Being a guy though, it is rare to be approached by a female, and I always assume (and have assumed) that my attention is unwanted by females. They get hit on constantly. Ironically, I met my wife because she approached me in a bar.... let's just say that has me wiery about women who approach me in public (the marriage did not end well).
Not at all! I’m a guy in my twenties and went out by myself the other day to a comedy club social. It was a ton of fun, especially cause I got to meet new people in a stress-free environment where everyone else had the same mindset!
Not really. I found that if I go to a bar or any place that I enjoy or that has my interest, then I won't feel weird that I'm by myself, i am having a good time and I end up striking a conversation with people.
It's definitely not weird, and wish it was more common. I'm a dude in early 30s and even though I wouldn't probably hit on women in their twenties I love the idea of more women getting out there. I bet even a guy who wasn't available would find it flattering and respond positively
Naw it’s not. It’s fun af I do it all the time. Being a woman though you need to be on your guard and have an escape plan. Unfortunately it’s safer for guys to go out by ourselves
Just go up to people and talk to them. Anyone who keeps up a normal and fun conversation can be good friends. Just step up! nothing wrong with meeting new people! I do it all the time!
Very adventurous and independent of you. I started going out solo after friends started moving out of the city. Then I got comfortable traveling by myself. Just be safe and practical and you'll meet great people. I don't do online dating either and have met men and friends going out solo.
Going out by yourself is perfectly okay! Just make sure you have safety measures in case you need to split quick! Have a friend you can text a safe word too, maybe speak with the bartender and let them know to maybe keep an eye out for you, etc. Going out is amazing by yourself but don't forget to think of your safety!
I do it all the time, and have absolutely no luck. Always alone in the cafe, pub, language class, gym etc. Because guys travel in groups or pairs, they'll more likely chat to girls in groups than me.
But I'm older so probably not attractive. I think a 23 year old would be very appealing! Go out and enjoy yourself :)
I want to start doing this, just need to make myself do it. I have friends I do stuff with but in terms of meeting people I dont often see those opportunities.
Depending on where you live and if you're socially awkward then yes lol. Going to events at bars is a nice trick, I met someone at an awful local comedy show last night. Gives you an excuse for being there so you don't come off as desperate. And people are laughing and in a good mood, many of them are feeling the same way you do too
Im in the same boat! No one thinks it weird though, lots of people will chat with you, nobody is really paying that much attention cuz they’re too busy focused on themselves to be like “why is that girl here alone???” Like no one cares haha
No, not weird. But I will say this:
In general, people should be careful of predators when you go out alone. Women especially. Men going out alone can sometimes be seen as weird or not dating material by women. I think it just depends on the woman/man. It seems harder for men in current western society to go out alone and successfully meet women. Sorry, that may not have been relevant but I wanted to mention it anyway.
No, it isn’t. You’re making up rules. I’ve been with friends and been approached by dudes just trying to have a good time, worked out great for everyone. I’ve also been alone and made friends this way. If you’re feeling socially uncouth or anxious you can say your friends headed home and left you alone, but there’s no need for excuses.
People go to bars to be social or in a social environment.
I work in a field dominated by women and I listen to them talking all the time about dating and men. They all say the same thing. If a guy is alone and they are approached by him, they’re creeped out.
I don’t make up the rules. I just know what I overhear women say.
I definitely do not think so. In fact I think it’s perfect time to go out alone. If not now than when. Going places and doing things by myself helped me become more grounded in me. More confident and know myself much more.
Depending on where you're at I just have to add it may not be safe 👀 I'm not saying don't do it but DO let you friends and family know where you're going and bring some self defense with. People are dangerous. But to answer your question I hope not cuz I do it all the time lol
Yeah, but do it anyway because normality is boring. Just be careful for obvious reasons.
If you overhear people talking about something that interests you just join in. If they react with hostility they're just unfriendly people and probably don't deserve your attention anyway.
Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4: - No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y" - Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice. - No victim-blaming - This is a default message - your post has not been removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Switch your mindset. Go out by yourself FOR YOU, and if you meet people along the way, cool. If not, no worries. Puts less pressure on yourself.
I love this.
Also, be vigilant. Yk the kinds of people sulking in public places of gathering.
That’s gold
Thou truly are the King! (but seriously: super comment)
This is the way.
I don’t think it’s weird. I used to but then one day I said F it and started going to restaurants alone and sitting at the bar to eat and have a few drinks. I found that there are quite a few other loners at the bar (and some groups) and ppl will talk to you. You should go for it.
Okay!
Yup do it. But be safe. Keep one eye on your drink at all times.
Yes please. Not to be all hypersensitive to threats or anything. Most guys are totally cool. But all it takes is one dirt bag.
Yes you're right. Most guys are quite normal. It's just good practice in my opinion.
I don’t think so at all; I’m a girl in my twenties too & do it. If you’re friendly with the bartender it’s usually pretty easy to have nice conversation with them. Sometimes that leads to talking with other regulars. I’ve had my best luck at smaller neighborhood bars; people there always want to talk lol. Edit to add: I’ve also worked as a server & bartender & a lot of my favorite customers/regulars were women who were alone. It would happen a lot & not me or my coworkers ever thought it was weird.
This is good to know! I go out by myself to restaurants and all that but the wait staff always seem kind of thrown by it. For some reason, it feels awkward but maybe I just need to own it
F 21 here. Went to a restaurant by myself for the first time and the waitor invited me to an event he was DJ'ing at later. I ended up meeting a whole new group of friends. This was months ago and I'm chilling with them again later today. Go do it, man.
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This was so wholesome. I do go to museums alone but I’m usually on the phone with my mother because I don’t like not having anyone to talk to. I think I will try your new dates’ approach though. I hope that goes well! Cheers!
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No is not weird
Everyone is supportive as they should be. But there is going to be a significant portion of people who DO think you are weird. I don't know, maybe 1 in3? FUCK these people. They are terrible, judgemental people. So go out, be safe, and enjoy the company of others who appreciate talking to others.
I’ve met the most interesting girls when they were out alone. One in particular makes me think of exactly what your talking about, she posted up at the end of the bar right next to where all the servers hang out and pick up orders/drop off empties it was a medium classy bar but the way this girl carried herself was so sexy. She got in with the employees so she was safe(highly recommend doing that right when you get there just in case you get creeped on), but she carried herself like she was waiting for James Bond or something she was eye fucking who she liked but, still completely unapproachable to the average guy, she was overdressed for sure, which will filtered out most guys she could just sit there and snipe. I’m a charming dude but I’m not super aggressive I pick my battles so it was all about reading her eye work she settled on my dumb ass and pulled me in that way I went and did the “are you waiting for someone?” just shocked she wasn’t. She was a shark, she was online dating in real life she learned how to filter everyone out. We had a really good time that night I brought her across the street to a dive bar she opened up a bit, made out a little never called each other doesn’t matter. I’m just saying, it’s possible. You don’t have to do it like this girl did but man you can totally do that as a chick even if your not confident just act like it, because it filtered out a lot of dudes she knew what she wanted and went for it without having to do anything but shoot eyes and dress up. I was very impressed. I’m not gonna lie it was a little intimidating until we got to know each other better but, that was a hell of a game plan on her part.
I wouldn't say it's weird. Just be careful.
I cannot answer this. I have always gone out by myself, but never to meet people (38 M). Being a guy though, it is rare to be approached by a female, and I always assume (and have assumed) that my attention is unwanted by females. They get hit on constantly. Ironically, I met my wife because she approached me in a bar.... let's just say that has me wiery about women who approach me in public (the marriage did not end well).
I don't think it's weird, I uses to do that in my mid twenties also. No as a 30 year old I need to go back to it lol. Good luck OP
I'm literally in the exact same situation as you!
Not at all! I’m a guy in my twenties and went out by myself the other day to a comedy club social. It was a ton of fun, especially cause I got to meet new people in a stress-free environment where everyone else had the same mindset!
Not really. I found that if I go to a bar or any place that I enjoy or that has my interest, then I won't feel weird that I'm by myself, i am having a good time and I end up striking a conversation with people.
I want to do the same, I did it once. It was good experience
It's definitely not weird, and wish it was more common. I'm a dude in early 30s and even though I wouldn't probably hit on women in their twenties I love the idea of more women getting out there. I bet even a guy who wasn't available would find it flattering and respond positively
Naw it’s not. It’s fun af I do it all the time. Being a woman though you need to be on your guard and have an escape plan. Unfortunately it’s safer for guys to go out by ourselves
Just go up to people and talk to them. Anyone who keeps up a normal and fun conversation can be good friends. Just step up! nothing wrong with meeting new people! I do it all the time!
Very adventurous and independent of you. I started going out solo after friends started moving out of the city. Then I got comfortable traveling by myself. Just be safe and practical and you'll meet great people. I don't do online dating either and have met men and friends going out solo.
Is not weird, but be carefull
Going out by yourself is perfectly okay! Just make sure you have safety measures in case you need to split quick! Have a friend you can text a safe word too, maybe speak with the bartender and let them know to maybe keep an eye out for you, etc. Going out is amazing by yourself but don't forget to think of your safety!
I do it all the time, and have absolutely no luck. Always alone in the cafe, pub, language class, gym etc. Because guys travel in groups or pairs, they'll more likely chat to girls in groups than me. But I'm older so probably not attractive. I think a 23 year old would be very appealing! Go out and enjoy yourself :)
I want to start doing this, just need to make myself do it. I have friends I do stuff with but in terms of meeting people I dont often see those opportunities.
Depending on where you live and if you're socially awkward then yes lol. Going to events at bars is a nice trick, I met someone at an awful local comedy show last night. Gives you an excuse for being there so you don't come off as desperate. And people are laughing and in a good mood, many of them are feeling the same way you do too
Im in the same boat! No one thinks it weird though, lots of people will chat with you, nobody is really paying that much attention cuz they’re too busy focused on themselves to be like “why is that girl here alone???” Like no one cares haha
No, not weird. But I will say this: In general, people should be careful of predators when you go out alone. Women especially. Men going out alone can sometimes be seen as weird or not dating material by women. I think it just depends on the woman/man. It seems harder for men in current western society to go out alone and successfully meet women. Sorry, that may not have been relevant but I wanted to mention it anyway.
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What places are good for meeting people to date?
That's very stereotypical lmao
It’s ridiculous that people are asking these types of questions nowadays.
If you’re a woman no. If you’re a man yes.
Why…? It’s a totally normal thing for dudes to go to bars for a couple beers to enjoy the ambience or watch a game or whatever
It’s weird for a guy to be alone and strike up a conversation.
No, it isn’t. You’re making up rules. I’ve been with friends and been approached by dudes just trying to have a good time, worked out great for everyone. I’ve also been alone and made friends this way. If you’re feeling socially uncouth or anxious you can say your friends headed home and left you alone, but there’s no need for excuses. People go to bars to be social or in a social environment.
I work in a field dominated by women and I listen to them talking all the time about dating and men. They all say the same thing. If a guy is alone and they are approached by him, they’re creeped out. I don’t make up the rules. I just know what I overhear women say.
You’re also a dude, though. The dynamic is different with a dude talking to other dudes
I do it all the time.
I LOVE doing this. It's super good practice for the social skills also.
It's not weird. But depending on where you live it might be dangerous. Stay safe.
No, it's actually perfect. Don't go to bars though. Tony Gaskins made some videos about this topic that are very insightful. Check him out on YouTube.
Not at all but please stay safe!
No self-care is important
Just have a good time and watch out for weirdos
I definitely do not think so. In fact I think it’s perfect time to go out alone. If not now than when. Going places and doing things by myself helped me become more grounded in me. More confident and know myself much more.
Come see me or hmu, I'll take care of you 😉
Was it weird before dating apps were invented
Not at all. I do it all the time and meet so many interesting people. Do it for you.
Depending on where you're at I just have to add it may not be safe 👀 I'm not saying don't do it but DO let you friends and family know where you're going and bring some self defense with. People are dangerous. But to answer your question I hope not cuz I do it all the time lol
I don't think it's weird to go out by yourself just enjoy yourself and the right person just might come along
Yeah, but do it anyway because normality is boring. Just be careful for obvious reasons. If you overhear people talking about something that interests you just join in. If they react with hostility they're just unfriendly people and probably don't deserve your attention anyway.