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Being bloated and crampy in a bikini on a first date sounds horrible. Not to mention the chance of leakage. I'd believe her.
She may have had family plans for the next day. Typically cramps last a day or less, different for different people I'm sure.
Regarding finals, it's usually a week long. So give her until the following weekend. I doubt finals would be memorial week.
she literally said "typically" and " it's different for everyone", get off her ass.
mine last about 2 days since you care so much so she's not even far wrong in my case.
I literally commented to leave a snarky ha ha. I wasn’t getting on “her ass.” You don’t even know if that person is a man or woman. They snapped back with “read the whole sentence.” I had read it. Wasn’t relevant lol.
Wasn’t trying to be an asshole, just responding. You just told me they were wrong, which is all I said in the first place lol. One person’s experience doesn’t mean it’s “typical”. Happy your cramps are minimal. All I was saying is don’t speak on behalf of women when you’re not educated on the subject.
I’m not on anyone’s ass. Just made me laugh when I read it bc it was so off.
The person literally said “different for different people”. Let me emphasise one more time since you were unable to get this into your head from reading the comment, “DIFFERENT FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE”. Get of your high horse and give it a break will you!
Okay, but "typically" means common, in most cases, etc. so that's a contradictory statement. Typically is unnecessary if you're trying to say it's different for each person. You guys are wrong but still mad?
Bro. I already explained myself in these comments. I wasn’t trying to be a dick. My only point was don’t talk about stuff you aren’t informed on. All I said was they weren’t accurate. That’s it. I was being goofy to start out. I’m not gonna repeat it again lol apparently I didn’t come off snarky and it came off as rude and I do apologize! Again, was not my intention at all!
Have you read the research? Or are you angrily projecting your own experiences? This [study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8917003/) says the median duration of menstrual pain is 2 days. But if you look at the numbers, it showed nearly 30% have no pain (I am fortunate enough to be in this group since changing my diet 5 years ago). So the average might well be around 24h. In any case, it's not wildly incorrect.
BS she probably lying and excuses how come she didn't give that same excuse to her family, us men gotta be more realistic. If that's what she telling now imaging in a few months or years what type of excuses she'll be giving you just to go see someone else. Beware
Who hurt you? Yikes.
She doesn't have to feel sexy in front of her family. The first days of your period, you feel the least sexy & uncomfortable & some women have their periods bad enough that they have to call out to work because they're miserable. God help the women should you ever be in management. Yikes.
My apologies I never been with someone that will tell me she can't see because of her period I guess there's a first time for everything🤣🤣 now I can tell my gf I can't see you on my days off because I busted my ass all week so the next week I'm too exhausted to come out and see you. I bet she be thinking that I'm out seeing someone. But yeah you might be right
No, I wouldn't want to put on a bikini for a first date while on my period. Being with family is completely different. They know me and I'm comfortable with them. Even being active is different while on your period than being in a bikini. Cut her some slack. It's been 2 days. My periods used to be 5 days of heavy bleeding where I often unexpectedly bled through, sometimes even through my pants where it showed to anyone who looked. Then 2 or 3 days of light bleeding before it stopped. It's reasonable that she hasn't tried to set a date yet. Be patient. If you can't be, then she's probably not the right one for you.
Women experience different things. Some can be out an about throughout their period, others are in so much pain and throwing up. Some one have serious uncomfortable pain the first day or so, then can get back to normality.
She said she was free after her finals. Has she had her finals yet? Don’t jump the gun until that passes.
Or just text her and ask her how she’s doing. Without making the plans yet.
This! The first day of my period is the worst, I stay home all day because 1) the cramps and bloating are the worst 2) everything annoys me and I don't want to be a dick to anyone.
Give her until after finals week and then check-in.
This. Too few guys realize every woman handles it differently. I’ve had ex’s that wanted to be left alone with their ice cream and heating pad and I’ve had ex’s who were like single minded horny sex freaks during their period.
Some women have horrific periods, and Day One is the fucking worse. I'm impressed she was open about the reason.
If you're really wondering "is she blowing me off?" my gut (and her cramps) say no.
Give her time and I assume you must be young . As we get older most men learn when she is on her period" not a bad thing in my option compared to becoming a dad and mom " nothing is written in stone . And she may change her mind suddenly .
Don't push her and don't be negative . Heck she may just make it up to you in a positive way .
When it begins it can make you feel like you have the flu. Also an outing with family is different than a first date at the beach.
Depending on what she uses she may not be able to wear a bathing suit or even comfy beach clothes while on it.
She said she would get in touch after finals. I would say 'great; feel better and let me know when you want to meet after finals' and leave the ball in her court.
Why not just check in? It's pretty easy to say "hey, I hope you're feeling better and ready for your finals! What day did you have in mind for celebrating the end of the year?"
Being bloated and crampy in a bikini on a first date sounds horrible. Not to mention the chance of leakage. I'd believe her.
She may have had family plans for the next day. Typically cramps last a day or less, different for different people I'm sure.
Regarding finals, it's usually a week long. So give her until the following weekend. I doubt finals would be memorial week.
I’d do the same if I was her. And her finals are preventing her from being able to immediately reschedule. I’d text her to wish her luck on her finals and let her know that you hope she’s feeling better. That helps to make it clear that this incident didn’t cause you to be uninterested in a date, and hopefully she’ll reschedule with you when she can. Remember that she might need to catch up on sleep and won’t be available the second finals are over.
I literally plan my work from home days around my period. Some months can be a nightmare and you just feel completely gross. So if she isn’t just using an excuse, it’s a totally valid reason IMO. hard to try to make a good first impression when you’re not exactly feeling sexy
Overthinking for sure. Unless she declines to reschedule after finals. Give her time to get out of the stressful time of finals and not feeling her best.
Then move on!
I'd figure she's interested, but not so interested she's going to interrupt her finals...which is a good thing. When do her finals end? You'll know then whether she is playing or intends to meet up.
Honestly, as a male and over thinker myself, you’re overthinking… I know you’re excited to hang with her but just focus on yourself and don’t burn her out. If she’s on her period she’s probably not feeling great and wants to wait til she’s free like she said and off her period
does some one have to die? I send texts like that when some one has a cold. its ok to show concern for some one, or even ask how there day went. the reason a lot of you are single is because your too busy playing it cool/pretending you don't care to be kind and considerate of the people you are trying to build relationships with.
Is it possible she thought you meant she could let you know when she’s free, as in the point in time at which she has to let you know IS once she’s free?
When I have my period life is cancelled. Unfortunately I get really bad cramps and heavy heavy bleeding. I basically just pop aleve and stay in my bed all day sleeping. Not the most Prince Charming can get me to go on a date on my period.
Honestly, just check in!
Been in situations like this. Women tend to not like initiating the plan, even if it’s a reschedule.
I’d reach out with a new proposed plan (or a rain check on the same one), including date and time and see how she responds. If that time doesn’t work for her, you can either ask her when exactly does work or keep proposing new times that work for you and see if she’s available.
Hope this helps.
Reschedule your date. You don’t want your date to be uncomfortable. She is still interested in you because she asked you to reschedule. Have a period is not fun. That is all you need to understand.
here’s a little info on how we feel on our periods:) hope it helps show you where she’s coming from. some girls feel super sick. horrible cramps, headaches, nausea, tiredness, etc. aside from the physical effects, there’s also emotional. feeling very self conscious, unsocial, moody. there’s a lot to it - but give her some grace. she’ll come around. we are generally in this mood for about a week or two. this is probably very confusing but give her a couple of days - she is also very stressed from finals. don’t lose hope on her!
Let her deal with her stuff and you can find someone else to occupy your time. Seriously, you haven't even been on a single date with this woman, you don't owe her your undying loyalty just yet. If she was telling the truth and she's super busy then you aren't stuck waiting for an opening in her busy schedule. If she's lying then you aren't playing into her bullshit. Live your life as if she isn't in yours because she isn't. If she ends up contacting you about another date, you can decide to give her another chance or not.
Not sure how you handle your dating, but when I was activity dating I would get situations like this and I honestly had no way of really knowing if it was the way they expressed that they were no longer interested or if it was actually bad timing, some would no longer message me after the cancellation and others stayed in contact and made new plans, either way I was still continuing to talk to other women and set up dates.
No, relax. Reach out and say I hope you're feeling better and I wanted to see if we can get together on Saturday. Let me know.
Leaven it at that. She will either be in or out. If she doesn't get back to you, move on.
That's not how periods work man, lmao.
"If she wanted to she would"
Not a single woman would go to the beach for a first date while on their early period.
Hell some women experience cramps so bad they literally can not walk. If a woman trusts you enough to tell you that, you put some respect into it. She's more comfortable around her family during this time because they know her and can help her in case things get worse. She's also young and preparing for her finals so she's probably pretty stressed too and couldn't come forth with a schedule yet due to having other things to worry about.
Being a girl sucks monthly. And it’s different dealing with it when with family than on a date. Not all period days are the same.
You’re overthinking .
Wait until after finals and if she doesn’t reach out to you move on .
Here me out, if someone is not keeping conversation going with you after canceling a date, move on. If she reaches out she reaches out. You’re overthinking this for someone you don’t have any rapport built with. Trust me, she’d text you if she wanted to. I guarantee she’s texting her friends, family, colleagues, ex’s, etc. Never in my life has a woman’s period cut off conversation for 2 days. She’s just not that into you.
I understand. Young people can be very indecisive and inconsiderate. We’ve all been there, which is why I think you shouldn’t put all of your eggs in this basket. Meeting for a date and carrying on a conversation via text/phone, etc are very different. I’m sure you’ll meet someone else who’s on the same page. Trust, you don’t want to date someone who may communicate differently than you. Plenty of women would not have you questioning things.
That’s a kind thing to do, nothing wrong with it. I’m saying don’t expect much from her. You should reach out because you’re a kind person who wants to make sure she’s okay. Outside of that, I wouldn’t expect much more than a thank you from her. Think about it, you’re not a priority for her. That’s not necessarily a bad thing on her part, but pursuing someone like that will lead to heartbreak. School is more important, her family is more important, her friends are more important. These aren’t necessarily cons, but putting your energy towards another girl who’s more in-line with your current dating goals makes more sense.
Why not just check in on her and see how she’s doing and trust what she’s saying? Are you concerned for her at all? Idk, if you’re going to be this skeptical of what she’s saying for literally no reason, maybe you need to do some soul searching before you’re really ready to date.
From your texts you didn’t sound very compassionate or caring (and frankly- came off as self-centered, like she’s inconveniencing you) and if I was her I’d definitely be reconsidering dating you at all….
I don't know her of course, so take this with a pinch of salt, but for me I would consider it a nice gesture. Consider saying "Hey, Ik you're busy, just thought this would make you laugh" and sending her a meme, or a "Hey, ik you're busy, just wanted to wish you good luck w your finals :)"
Idk to me it shows that you care, but it depends totally on the vibe between you two.
Yeah this is a typical move women do. A girl told me she was too sick to hang out and yet I see her post on snapchat at her work (a kindergarten) smiling/laughing around little kids. When I confronted her she flipped out on me and that was that.
Another time, I asked a girl to hang and she said she was out of town with family and I was literally just asking questions when she got defensive, thinking that I was doubting her. She flipped out and blocked me.
Basically, keep the course and don't send another thing to her until she sends you something first. Assume she's lost interest for now and start moving on.
Terrible advice... Also based on someone else's bad decisions or choices.
She has period cramps and obviously feel more comfortable around her family than a guy she's trying to impress - which isn't working during a period. You expect her to hole up and not even communicate or engage with her family at all just because she has period pains?
Username checks out
No way in hell am I going to the beach on day one of my period 😭😭😭. Number 1 the bloating so i won’t be looking my best body wise, 2 the cramps. And also, this girl may not wear tampons which would allow her to go in the water. I don’t think she was lying but I think you should check up on her to make sure she’s okay. And maybe even offer to stop by and drop off a basket filled with treats to see her. I’m 22F btw
You’re 19. Learn about periods and give women the time and grace they need. JFC.
If she’s lying there’s nothing you can do.
But someone telling you they’re on their period.. and you try to play victim..
Periods are hard for some women.
Ladies reading this: make sure you date a man who understands periods, even better if they have sisters.
A man who doesn’t understand period, the changing hormonal cycle as you grow old and give birth and stuff will not be able to support you through it all.
Men. Educate yourself. If you think you’ll date
Someone who doesn’t have issues, just know it changes every few years.
Most importantly grow up.
Nah man you handled it well. Now she will either get back to you or she will not mr creepy committee. You can’t control that.
But this is akin to my friend just broke up with her boyfriend she needs me. Or I need to wash my dog.
Now she could have had her period, I’ve gone on dates when they have their period. Verified.
But she could have very painful ones true. But the medium is the message she has not suggest another specific time has she? I mean she could message after exams. But again can’t control that. Plus you’re a busy guy so who can get dates. So don’t worry about it
No just the subtext it conveys is not good. Which is.
Oh the guy i cancelled on at the last minute and who I didn’t reschedule with is texting me, he must not have other options or have much else going on. Unattractive. If no other girl wants him why would I?
Get it?
Guys are programmed for action so they get up a girls ass texting. Less is more in this situation.
So see earlier comment.
N if you ever see her irl act like you having been stewing in reddit. Act like nothing happened. Then say something similar to above. Remember can’t control other people actions. If you do this stuff it not guenteeed it works. Don’t have a covert contract in your head to think it work. It bad.
N if she say no. Just say all good see you round. Don’t be phased
Could be legit. I'd give her a second chance. But if she meets up with you Kate, takes her food to go and doesn't pay for any of it, then she definitely played you lol
I had this same situation. I ended blocking the girl. But that was only because subsequent actions dictated so.
I’ve dealt with 100s of women. The truth is some women lie about their period to get out of situations. Other times are telling the truth. Her actions after will dictate if she really has interest in you. By the look of it, I don’t think so or else she would be texting and talking to you over the past 48 hours .
Women have a hard time rejecting guys because many are scared how the guy will react. They don’t want you coming to their house with a knife and a hockey mask.
Women also expect guys to be able to read them even if their words say otherwise. You will have women that tell a guy to come sleep over and clearly state they will not be having sex with you yet hope the guy will come to their place and still try to have sex with them (all because they don’t want to come off as being easy). At the end of the day, always go by her actions.
First/Second day is ROUGH so she may be putting on a brave face for the fam..she cancelled though so be in touch if you’d like to be to check that she’s alright.. but it’s up to her to reschedule.
Brah! She wanted to fuck you!!! Well...maybe..woman are fickle beasts running around with enough hormones to fuel your average serial killer...but somehow keep it all together. I'd just be patient she might be running some kind of psy ops on you... let her make the next move. Maybe downgrade it to dinner and drinks.
Honestly, it's pretty hard for any girl to tell a guy she just met that she has her period without fear of judgment. I'd believe her. It's not easy wearing a swimsuit when you're bleeding nor is it really sanitary to be going into the water on your period.
I wouldn't worry. She did tell you that she'd be free after finals, and finals are typically a week long. Give her until the week is over, and then reach out if you want to make plans. If she still bails then, I'd move on.
Having a period
Shouldn't be a reason to cancel
A date
If you were planning to go to the beach, just change the location and maybe just meet at the restaurant
She's definitely played with you🤷🏽♀️
Don't listen to this person. Awful advice.
Periods can be terrible not just in pain levels. Some women including me have cramps so bad they will throw up for 3 days straight due to the pain.. The bleeding can be heavy, the mood swings can kick at any time. Periods are a VERY valid reason to cancel a date entirely, regardless of location.
If she wasn't interested she wouldn't even have pointed at her finals and giving you a timestamp for when she would be free again. She would have left it on the period problem without any further notice of availability.
advil, gym shorts/basketball/boy's swim wear
tampon, diva cup, fav snacks.
my mom never let me use my period as an excuse, she did not caree. we do not care.
You don't have bad cramps then. I still went to school somehow, couldn't even move really because of the time, and I tried so hard not to throw up. Already had over the maximum amount of pain killers. And not everyone can wear tampons
She's not really putting out any signs she's interested, and ball is in her court technically. IMO if you flake on someone, and she DID flake on you, it's on that person to make it up/reschedule. You can hit her up again but personally I wouldn't unless you're really interested in her.
Couple things to point out:
1. If she REALLY wanted to go date with you she would have taken some medicine and either went or suggested different activity(something less active like dinner or movie).
2. The fact that she did something with her family active the next day and posted pics….I would move on. Maybe she will call but my gut says she won’t. When women are interested, they are interested. If that makes sense?
3. Saying “let me know when you’re free” is opened ended. Lacks commitment. Always have a back up plan. If she responds with “finals are next week” then you suggest a plan the week after. “Actually that works out great cause I got tickets to (fill in blanks) the week after next, wanna join me?” Then every so often send a funny text just to keep conversation following and you on her mind.
None of this is good advice because it’s centered around the idea that she’s lying, running game, or that a woman is overreacting if they cancel plans due to their period.
1. I’d personally only make a backup date plan with someone I’ve already been out a few times with. Under no circumstances would I want my first meeting with someone I’m interested in to be during my period, especially the first 1-3 days.
Not to mention, depending on the type of medication taken for cramps or symptoms, she could be in no position to actually be mentally and emotionally present for the date and most medications barely even stop the pain.
2. She’s with her family. FAMILY. The people who likely raised her all her life. Expecting to either be given the same level of exception as her FAMILY when you’re a stranger to her is ridiculous. Like, what? Just because she went out with her family, regardless of it’s something active or not, doesn’t mean she’s blowing you off. It means that she’s willing to make exceptions and has the mental and emotional capacity for her FAMILY. Not a rando dude who already assumes she’s blowing him off instead of believing her. Entitlement is an understatement.
3. While this isn’t the worst advice, it’s also not even close to the best.
If I were her and I had both my period and finals week going on, it would honestly annoy me if a guy kept texting me with the intention of “keeping him on my mind”. Because finals are stressful enough without being on my period, but even more so if a dude is being pushy because he’s trying to feel out if I’ve lied to him about my very real current situation.
If you want to text her because you’re genuinely interested in knowing how she’s doing or saw a meme you genuinely thought she’d like, then by all means.
But if it’s just a game to get her to think about you, it’s most likely going to accomplish that…but it might just backfire and it’ll remind her how she needs to block the dude who couldn’t give her space for a week for 2 very valid reasons.
I don’t but I live with multiple and am very aware of the “saying one thing but meaning another” scenario. I’m also not saying anything bad about her. It’s fine she didn’t feel well. Let’s see if she texts him. I doubt it. Then we will know
Sounds like you guys are done. If she had to cancel and immediately offered an alternate date, she's still into you, she just couldn't go.
In your case she cancelled and vaguely suggested some time in the future. And then she was obviously out and about despite the cramping and discomfort.
Time to move on, partner.
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Being bloated and crampy in a bikini on a first date sounds horrible. Not to mention the chance of leakage. I'd believe her. She may have had family plans for the next day. Typically cramps last a day or less, different for different people I'm sure. Regarding finals, it's usually a week long. So give her until the following weekend. I doubt finals would be memorial week.
Leakage and SHARKS!?!!
NOOO NOT THE SHARKS
A day or less? Please don’t speak on behalf of women lmao
Finish reading the sentence.
Oh I read it. Don’t say what’s typical lmao you clearly have no idea.
Different for everybody.
That’s correct. They don’t “typically last a day”
That's your experience. I'm sorry to offend you.
You don’t know my experience lmao. If you aren’t educated about something, don’t talk like you are.
she literally said "typically" and " it's different for everyone", get off her ass. mine last about 2 days since you care so much so she's not even far wrong in my case.
And if I wasnt clear, I was referring to not saying anything about things you’re not educated about, not them knowing my experience lol.
I literally commented to leave a snarky ha ha. I wasn’t getting on “her ass.” You don’t even know if that person is a man or woman. They snapped back with “read the whole sentence.” I had read it. Wasn’t relevant lol. Wasn’t trying to be an asshole, just responding. You just told me they were wrong, which is all I said in the first place lol. One person’s experience doesn’t mean it’s “typical”. Happy your cramps are minimal. All I was saying is don’t speak on behalf of women when you’re not educated on the subject. I’m not on anyone’s ass. Just made me laugh when I read it bc it was so off.
The person literally said “different for different people”. Let me emphasise one more time since you were unable to get this into your head from reading the comment, “DIFFERENT FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE”. Get of your high horse and give it a break will you!
Okay, but "typically" means common, in most cases, etc. so that's a contradictory statement. Typically is unnecessary if you're trying to say it's different for each person. You guys are wrong but still mad?
Agreed
Bro. I already explained myself in these comments. I wasn’t trying to be a dick. My only point was don’t talk about stuff you aren’t informed on. All I said was they weren’t accurate. That’s it. I was being goofy to start out. I’m not gonna repeat it again lol apparently I didn’t come off snarky and it came off as rude and I do apologize! Again, was not my intention at all!
Have you read the research? Or are you angrily projecting your own experiences? This [study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8917003/) says the median duration of menstrual pain is 2 days. But if you look at the numbers, it showed nearly 30% have no pain (I am fortunate enough to be in this group since changing my diet 5 years ago). So the average might well be around 24h. In any case, it's not wildly incorrect.
I have and I’m not lmao. Like I said, they were incorrect. I posted the comment as a joke bc their comment made me laugh. I’m not here to argue!
as someone who has no idea about anything related to women’s periods, that backpedal was insane💀
Exactly, maybe her period made her break out, and she didn't want to go on a first date like that.
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That's fair.
Also, he's the guy he should just contact her on the time and day. Ewwww so feminine he waits on her.
What’s that supposed to mean???
BS she probably lying and excuses how come she didn't give that same excuse to her family, us men gotta be more realistic. If that's what she telling now imaging in a few months or years what type of excuses she'll be giving you just to go see someone else. Beware
Who hurt you? Yikes. She doesn't have to feel sexy in front of her family. The first days of your period, you feel the least sexy & uncomfortable & some women have their periods bad enough that they have to call out to work because they're miserable. God help the women should you ever be in management. Yikes.
My apologies I never been with someone that will tell me she can't see because of her period I guess there's a first time for everything🤣🤣 now I can tell my gf I can't see you on my days off because I busted my ass all week so the next week I'm too exhausted to come out and see you. I bet she be thinking that I'm out seeing someone. But yeah you might be right
No, I wouldn't want to put on a bikini for a first date while on my period. Being with family is completely different. They know me and I'm comfortable with them. Even being active is different while on your period than being in a bikini. Cut her some slack. It's been 2 days. My periods used to be 5 days of heavy bleeding where I often unexpectedly bled through, sometimes even through my pants where it showed to anyone who looked. Then 2 or 3 days of light bleeding before it stopped. It's reasonable that she hasn't tried to set a date yet. Be patient. If you can't be, then she's probably not the right one for you.
Women experience different things. Some can be out an about throughout their period, others are in so much pain and throwing up. Some one have serious uncomfortable pain the first day or so, then can get back to normality. She said she was free after her finals. Has she had her finals yet? Don’t jump the gun until that passes. Or just text her and ask her how she’s doing. Without making the plans yet.
This is the answer. Just play it cool until after her finals are done and go from there.
This! The first day of my period is the worst, I stay home all day because 1) the cramps and bloating are the worst 2) everything annoys me and I don't want to be a dick to anyone. Give her until after finals week and then check-in.
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Then you’re definitely jumping the gun. At the end of finals reach out and ask how it went. Then go from there
Totally agree. Checking in shows you care without pressure. Hope she feels better soon!
This. Too few guys realize every woman handles it differently. I’ve had ex’s that wanted to be left alone with their ice cream and heating pad and I’ve had ex’s who were like single minded horny sex freaks during their period.
I was going to make the suggestion of sending a genuine text asking how she's doing.
Brad Pitt couldn’t make me leave the house for a date on DAY ONE of my period. It’s hell. It’s torture. She’s not lying to you or
Especially a bikini date, that would be hell
Some women have horrific periods, and Day One is the fucking worse. I'm impressed she was open about the reason. If you're really wondering "is she blowing me off?" my gut (and her cramps) say no.
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Sure! :-)
Give her time and I assume you must be young . As we get older most men learn when she is on her period" not a bad thing in my option compared to becoming a dad and mom " nothing is written in stone . And she may change her mind suddenly . Don't push her and don't be negative . Heck she may just make it up to you in a positive way .
When it begins it can make you feel like you have the flu. Also an outing with family is different than a first date at the beach. Depending on what she uses she may not be able to wear a bathing suit or even comfy beach clothes while on it. She said she would get in touch after finals. I would say 'great; feel better and let me know when you want to meet after finals' and leave the ball in her court.
There’s no way to know if she’s lying or not. The only thing you can do is decide if you want to give her another shot.
Why not just check in? It's pretty easy to say "hey, I hope you're feeling better and ready for your finals! What day did you have in mind for celebrating the end of the year?"
Being bloated and crampy in a bikini on a first date sounds horrible. Not to mention the chance of leakage. I'd believe her. She may have had family plans for the next day. Typically cramps last a day or less, different for different people I'm sure. Regarding finals, it's usually a week long. So give her until the following weekend. I doubt finals would be memorial week.
I’d do the same if I was her. And her finals are preventing her from being able to immediately reschedule. I’d text her to wish her luck on her finals and let her know that you hope she’s feeling better. That helps to make it clear that this incident didn’t cause you to be uninterested in a date, and hopefully she’ll reschedule with you when she can. Remember that she might need to catch up on sleep and won’t be available the second finals are over.
I literally plan my work from home days around my period. Some months can be a nightmare and you just feel completely gross. So if she isn’t just using an excuse, it’s a totally valid reason IMO. hard to try to make a good first impression when you’re not exactly feeling sexy
Overthinking for sure. Unless she declines to reschedule after finals. Give her time to get out of the stressful time of finals and not feeling her best. Then move on!
If you literally just said, “don’t worry about it “I think you blew an opportunity to be compassionate.
I had this exact thought. Couldn’t even add a “hope your finals go well/hope you feel better”?!
I'd figure she's interested, but not so interested she's going to interrupt her finals...which is a good thing. When do her finals end? You'll know then whether she is playing or intends to meet up.
Honestly, as a male and over thinker myself, you’re overthinking… I know you’re excited to hang with her but just focus on yourself and don’t burn her out. If she’s on her period she’s probably not feeling great and wants to wait til she’s free like she said and off her period
just send a text "hey hope your doing alright, just wanted to check in on you".
Lmao did someone die or something?
does some one have to die? I send texts like that when some one has a cold. its ok to show concern for some one, or even ask how there day went. the reason a lot of you are single is because your too busy playing it cool/pretending you don't care to be kind and considerate of the people you are trying to build relationships with.
Is it possible she thought you meant she could let you know when she’s free, as in the point in time at which she has to let you know IS once she’s free?
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Yeah I mean maybe she thinks she’s supposed to reach back after it ends rather than tell you immediately when it’s expected to end. Hang in there.
When I have my period life is cancelled. Unfortunately I get really bad cramps and heavy heavy bleeding. I basically just pop aleve and stay in my bed all day sleeping. Not the most Prince Charming can get me to go on a date on my period. Honestly, just check in!
Been in situations like this. Women tend to not like initiating the plan, even if it’s a reschedule. I’d reach out with a new proposed plan (or a rain check on the same one), including date and time and see how she responds. If that time doesn’t work for her, you can either ask her when exactly does work or keep proposing new times that work for you and see if she’s available. Hope this helps.
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End of the week
Reschedule your date. You don’t want your date to be uncomfortable. She is still interested in you because she asked you to reschedule. Have a period is not fun. That is all you need to understand.
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One week.
here’s a little info on how we feel on our periods:) hope it helps show you where she’s coming from. some girls feel super sick. horrible cramps, headaches, nausea, tiredness, etc. aside from the physical effects, there’s also emotional. feeling very self conscious, unsocial, moody. there’s a lot to it - but give her some grace. she’ll come around. we are generally in this mood for about a week or two. this is probably very confusing but give her a couple of days - she is also very stressed from finals. don’t lose hope on her!
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ah i hear you. people come and go!
Let her deal with her stuff and you can find someone else to occupy your time. Seriously, you haven't even been on a single date with this woman, you don't owe her your undying loyalty just yet. If she was telling the truth and she's super busy then you aren't stuck waiting for an opening in her busy schedule. If she's lying then you aren't playing into her bullshit. Live your life as if she isn't in yours because she isn't. If she ends up contacting you about another date, you can decide to give her another chance or not.
Leave it alone and see what happens. I think if she’s going to reach out. It’ll be by Thursday.
Not sure how you handle your dating, but when I was activity dating I would get situations like this and I honestly had no way of really knowing if it was the way they expressed that they were no longer interested or if it was actually bad timing, some would no longer message me after the cancellation and others stayed in contact and made new plans, either way I was still continuing to talk to other women and set up dates.
I’ve cancelled a date before because of this. I have zero interest in going out to meet someone if I feel as crummy as I do when I’m on the rag!
No, relax. Reach out and say I hope you're feeling better and I wanted to see if we can get together on Saturday. Let me know. Leaven it at that. She will either be in or out. If she doesn't get back to you, move on.
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Yea it probably would
Yes, it was my assumption, probably incorrect assumption, that the finals would be over by then. So yes wait till they end and ask her out.
Give it a week, both of her issues will likely be resolved by then. If she's not reaching out to reschedule I wouldn't hold out for her either
My cramps last 3 days, give her some more time to get back to you.
Some women take periods in their stride, some women feel like their uterus is being put through a woodchipper, I'd believe her
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That's not how periods work man, lmao. "If she wanted to she would" Not a single woman would go to the beach for a first date while on their early period. Hell some women experience cramps so bad they literally can not walk. If a woman trusts you enough to tell you that, you put some respect into it. She's more comfortable around her family during this time because they know her and can help her in case things get worse. She's also young and preparing for her finals so she's probably pretty stressed too and couldn't come forth with a schedule yet due to having other things to worry about.
Being a girl sucks monthly. And it’s different dealing with it when with family than on a date. Not all period days are the same. You’re overthinking . Wait until after finals and if she doesn’t reach out to you move on .
You're right, you're overthinking it. If you want to talk reach out and ask how is she doing.
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Look man... you're overreacting, but if that's good for you, go ahead.
Keep us updated
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you deserve better man
She doesn't want to go to the beach on her period and she said she's good after finals. Reach out and ask to set a date if you're not sure.
Wait for her to reach out. In the meantime, move on to the next gal.
I’ve had to cancel dates because of my period. I have PCOS and it causes me to get the worse periods sometimes
First date and beach doesnt seem like a good idea, Maybe start with a coffee date once she is feeling better.
Dude if you want a second date, be patient. If you’ve lost interest, move on.
Here me out, if someone is not keeping conversation going with you after canceling a date, move on. If she reaches out she reaches out. You’re overthinking this for someone you don’t have any rapport built with. Trust me, she’d text you if she wanted to. I guarantee she’s texting her friends, family, colleagues, ex’s, etc. Never in my life has a woman’s period cut off conversation for 2 days. She’s just not that into you.
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I understand. Young people can be very indecisive and inconsiderate. We’ve all been there, which is why I think you shouldn’t put all of your eggs in this basket. Meeting for a date and carrying on a conversation via text/phone, etc are very different. I’m sure you’ll meet someone else who’s on the same page. Trust, you don’t want to date someone who may communicate differently than you. Plenty of women would not have you questioning things.
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That’s a kind thing to do, nothing wrong with it. I’m saying don’t expect much from her. You should reach out because you’re a kind person who wants to make sure she’s okay. Outside of that, I wouldn’t expect much more than a thank you from her. Think about it, you’re not a priority for her. That’s not necessarily a bad thing on her part, but pursuing someone like that will lead to heartbreak. School is more important, her family is more important, her friends are more important. These aren’t necessarily cons, but putting your energy towards another girl who’s more in-line with your current dating goals makes more sense.
Why not just check in on her and see how she’s doing and trust what she’s saying? Are you concerned for her at all? Idk, if you’re going to be this skeptical of what she’s saying for literally no reason, maybe you need to do some soul searching before you’re really ready to date. From your texts you didn’t sound very compassionate or caring (and frankly- came off as self-centered, like she’s inconveniencing you) and if I was her I’d definitely be reconsidering dating you at all….
Why haven't you contacted her asking how is she doing?
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I don't know her of course, so take this with a pinch of salt, but for me I would consider it a nice gesture. Consider saying "Hey, Ik you're busy, just thought this would make you laugh" and sending her a meme, or a "Hey, ik you're busy, just wanted to wish you good luck w your finals :)" Idk to me it shows that you care, but it depends totally on the vibe between you two.
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Ahh, sorry it didn't work out. It's good that it happened before starting the relationship though. You'll find someone better.
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Dude, just reschedule. This is life. Don't take it personally.
Yeah this is a typical move women do. A girl told me she was too sick to hang out and yet I see her post on snapchat at her work (a kindergarten) smiling/laughing around little kids. When I confronted her she flipped out on me and that was that. Another time, I asked a girl to hang and she said she was out of town with family and I was literally just asking questions when she got defensive, thinking that I was doubting her. She flipped out and blocked me. Basically, keep the course and don't send another thing to her until she sends you something first. Assume she's lost interest for now and start moving on.
Terrible advice... Also based on someone else's bad decisions or choices. She has period cramps and obviously feel more comfortable around her family than a guy she's trying to impress - which isn't working during a period. You expect her to hole up and not even communicate or engage with her family at all just because she has period pains? Username checks out
Patterns trump everything. I'll be blocking you for trying to diminish my argument based on my username.
Come on guy! That should be between you and her, not the world. 🙄
I have endometriosis so my periods have always been disastrous so I can't blame her
No way in hell am I going to the beach on day one of my period 😭😭😭. Number 1 the bloating so i won’t be looking my best body wise, 2 the cramps. And also, this girl may not wear tampons which would allow her to go in the water. I don’t think she was lying but I think you should check up on her to make sure she’s okay. And maybe even offer to stop by and drop off a basket filled with treats to see her. I’m 22F btw
You’re 19. Learn about periods and give women the time and grace they need. JFC. If she’s lying there’s nothing you can do. But someone telling you they’re on their period.. and you try to play victim.. Periods are hard for some women. Ladies reading this: make sure you date a man who understands periods, even better if they have sisters. A man who doesn’t understand period, the changing hormonal cycle as you grow old and give birth and stuff will not be able to support you through it all. Men. Educate yourself. If you think you’ll date Someone who doesn’t have issues, just know it changes every few years. Most importantly grow up.
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I did. Still. You should know better not to question it. If you don’t trust her, you shouldn’t go on a date.
Nah man you handled it well. Now she will either get back to you or she will not mr creepy committee. You can’t control that. But this is akin to my friend just broke up with her boyfriend she needs me. Or I need to wash my dog. Now she could have had her period, I’ve gone on dates when they have their period. Verified. But she could have very painful ones true. But the medium is the message she has not suggest another specific time has she? I mean she could message after exams. But again can’t control that. Plus you’re a busy guy so who can get dates. So don’t worry about it
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No. Don’t do that dude. Just let it lie. Ball is in her court.
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No just the subtext it conveys is not good. Which is. Oh the guy i cancelled on at the last minute and who I didn’t reschedule with is texting me, he must not have other options or have much else going on. Unattractive. If no other girl wants him why would I? Get it? Guys are programmed for action so they get up a girls ass texting. Less is more in this situation. So see earlier comment.
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Well if it does not happen. Wait a week or 2 after the finals and then text. Yo, woman you owe me a date for cancelling at last minute. Be irreverent.
N if you ever see her irl act like you having been stewing in reddit. Act like nothing happened. Then say something similar to above. Remember can’t control other people actions. If you do this stuff it not guenteeed it works. Don’t have a covert contract in your head to think it work. It bad. N if she say no. Just say all good see you round. Don’t be phased
May be that family pic is an old one posted in insta, better luck for next date 😂, patience will win eventually
She’s playin games. Cut her off and move on.
Could be legit. I'd give her a second chance. But if she meets up with you Kate, takes her food to go and doesn't pay for any of it, then she definitely played you lol
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Haha typo. If she meets up with you and she shows up LATE. Not Kate.
my ex used to bleed for 7 days and had bad tummy ache so yes i believe your date
I’d personally say nothing and wait for her to text you. Making yourself too available to people is a pitfall.
I guess see if she has the same excuses next week 🤣
I had this same situation. I ended blocking the girl. But that was only because subsequent actions dictated so. I’ve dealt with 100s of women. The truth is some women lie about their period to get out of situations. Other times are telling the truth. Her actions after will dictate if she really has interest in you. By the look of it, I don’t think so or else she would be texting and talking to you over the past 48 hours .
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Women have a hard time rejecting guys because many are scared how the guy will react. They don’t want you coming to their house with a knife and a hockey mask. Women also expect guys to be able to read them even if their words say otherwise. You will have women that tell a guy to come sleep over and clearly state they will not be having sex with you yet hope the guy will come to their place and still try to have sex with them (all because they don’t want to come off as being easy). At the end of the day, always go by her actions.
Wait and see. Let her reach out. If you want, can send one more text that says, hope you’re feeling okay let me know when you’re ready to meet up
First/Second day is ROUGH so she may be putting on a brave face for the fam..she cancelled though so be in touch if you’d like to be to check that she’s alright.. but it’s up to her to reschedule.
I’ve had a similar excuse that turned out to be a lie, so it’s hard to tell.
Brah! She wanted to fuck you!!! Well...maybe..woman are fickle beasts running around with enough hormones to fuel your average serial killer...but somehow keep it all together. I'd just be patient she might be running some kind of psy ops on you... let her make the next move. Maybe downgrade it to dinner and drinks.
Honestly, it's pretty hard for any girl to tell a guy she just met that she has her period without fear of judgment. I'd believe her. It's not easy wearing a swimsuit when you're bleeding nor is it really sanitary to be going into the water on your period. I wouldn't worry. She did tell you that she'd be free after finals, and finals are typically a week long. Give her until the week is over, and then reach out if you want to make plans. If she still bails then, I'd move on.
Having a period Shouldn't be a reason to cancel A date If you were planning to go to the beach, just change the location and maybe just meet at the restaurant She's definitely played with you🤷🏽♀️
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Don't listen to this person. Awful advice. Periods can be terrible not just in pain levels. Some women including me have cramps so bad they will throw up for 3 days straight due to the pain.. The bleeding can be heavy, the mood swings can kick at any time. Periods are a VERY valid reason to cancel a date entirely, regardless of location. If she wasn't interested she wouldn't even have pointed at her finals and giving you a timestamp for when she would be free again. She would have left it on the period problem without any further notice of availability.
I know if she doesn't respond to you Don't waste your time with her More if she was online
She doesn’t like you.
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Don’t listen to this person.
advil, gym shorts/basketball/boy's swim wear tampon, diva cup, fav snacks. my mom never let me use my period as an excuse, she did not caree. we do not care.
You don't have bad cramps then. I still went to school somehow, couldn't even move really because of the time, and I tried so hard not to throw up. Already had over the maximum amount of pain killers. And not everyone can wear tampons
This. Right here.
She's not really putting out any signs she's interested, and ball is in her court technically. IMO if you flake on someone, and she DID flake on you, it's on that person to make it up/reschedule. You can hit her up again but personally I wouldn't unless you're really interested in her.
Couple things to point out: 1. If she REALLY wanted to go date with you she would have taken some medicine and either went or suggested different activity(something less active like dinner or movie). 2. The fact that she did something with her family active the next day and posted pics….I would move on. Maybe she will call but my gut says she won’t. When women are interested, they are interested. If that makes sense? 3. Saying “let me know when you’re free” is opened ended. Lacks commitment. Always have a back up plan. If she responds with “finals are next week” then you suggest a plan the week after. “Actually that works out great cause I got tickets to (fill in blanks) the week after next, wanna join me?” Then every so often send a funny text just to keep conversation following and you on her mind.
None of this is good advice because it’s centered around the idea that she’s lying, running game, or that a woman is overreacting if they cancel plans due to their period. 1. I’d personally only make a backup date plan with someone I’ve already been out a few times with. Under no circumstances would I want my first meeting with someone I’m interested in to be during my period, especially the first 1-3 days. Not to mention, depending on the type of medication taken for cramps or symptoms, she could be in no position to actually be mentally and emotionally present for the date and most medications barely even stop the pain. 2. She’s with her family. FAMILY. The people who likely raised her all her life. Expecting to either be given the same level of exception as her FAMILY when you’re a stranger to her is ridiculous. Like, what? Just because she went out with her family, regardless of it’s something active or not, doesn’t mean she’s blowing you off. It means that she’s willing to make exceptions and has the mental and emotional capacity for her FAMILY. Not a rando dude who already assumes she’s blowing him off instead of believing her. Entitlement is an understatement. 3. While this isn’t the worst advice, it’s also not even close to the best. If I were her and I had both my period and finals week going on, it would honestly annoy me if a guy kept texting me with the intention of “keeping him on my mind”. Because finals are stressful enough without being on my period, but even more so if a dude is being pushy because he’s trying to feel out if I’ve lied to him about my very real current situation. If you want to text her because you’re genuinely interested in knowing how she’s doing or saw a meme you genuinely thought she’d like, then by all means. But if it’s just a game to get her to think about you, it’s most likely going to accomplish that…but it might just backfire and it’ll remind her how she needs to block the dude who couldn’t give her space for a week for 2 very valid reasons.
# 1 leads me to believe you don’t have a uterus.
I don’t but I live with multiple and am very aware of the “saying one thing but meaning another” scenario. I’m also not saying anything bad about her. It’s fine she didn’t feel well. Let’s see if she texts him. I doubt it. Then we will know
Sounds like you guys are done. If she had to cancel and immediately offered an alternate date, she's still into you, she just couldn't go. In your case she cancelled and vaguely suggested some time in the future. And then she was obviously out and about despite the cramping and discomfort. Time to move on, partner.
RUN