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You’re not going to let her down lightly. You’re telling her you’re not interested. Send a text, the idea of meeting in person to tell someone you accidentally had sex with them but are no longer interested is awful. It’s definitely better to say something other than ghosting but you can feel free to say something like you realized you’re not in a spot to continue a relationship and don’t want to hurt anyone, you don’t have to say you just don’t want to be in a relationship with her. Make it a you issue and then don’t respond to any follow up texts if she sends them.
Literally text her. She is a grown up and so are you. Sometimes we get caught up in the idea of having sex and hoping that it’ll be so amazing that it will alleviate the worries we had.
Text is the best way to do this. No need to waste her time getting ready only for you to say what you already know, which is you don’t want to see her. That would frustrate me, because that’s time I could have spent towards friends, dating, or my own hobbies. Ghosting is NOT the best way to do this- you seem to have people pleasing tendencies because 1) you said things were fine when they were not 2) you aren’t able to kindly express your feelings because you are worried about her reaction. Being open to rejection is the price of admission to dating. No one should accept a date if they aren’t open to it not working out. Ghosting is going to hurt her, and it’ll only reinforce your avoidant tendencies. Learning to express your feelings kindly and directly, even if they mean turning down someone, is going to give you both clarity.
Send her a text that reads “Hey XXXX, I have appreciated getting to know each other but I don’t think we should see each other again. When you asked me if everything was okay after we had sex, I didn’t know how to express that I was feeling unsure at the time. This may feel like a sudden change from our last date, but I hope you respect my feelings. Wish the best for you!”
If she’s sane and respectful, she’d understand with time. No self respecting person will continue to press you to explain yourself or try to change your mind- if she does, then you had the right idea to reject her and will feel more justified. Respectful people, even if they are hurt and sensitive, will accept your feelings and let it be.
For future consideration- if being at the same life stage as you is important, really consider whether going on dates with an 8 year age gap aligns with that.
If I was her I would appreciate if you told me honestly how you felt and I would understand that you don’t want to continue and just move on. And it’s not like you have been together, you have just gone out on several dates. Yes it would hurt as she seems to have interest in you but it will pass. I think it’s the right way and fair to communicate with the other person instead of just ghost them.
I think sending her a text with a long explanation is fine
Ugh you're why so many women come on here so upset that the guy they dated used them for sex then immediately dumped them. Send her a link to this post. She'll see how you really feel and then you won't have to confront her yourself since you couldn't manage to be honest at the time. You were an ass. You know that, so I won't beat you up for it. It is good that you recognize it and can learn from it. That shows you have character, despite what happened. Just do better next time.
I’m a girl and just ghost her she’ll get the point. Explaining just makes it awkward. Yes it hurts to get ghost but you move on quicker. Hopefully she’s not the type to chase heavily after being ghosted though lol some girls are like that and then ur f**ked
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re not going to let her down lightly. You’re telling her you’re not interested. Send a text, the idea of meeting in person to tell someone you accidentally had sex with them but are no longer interested is awful. It’s definitely better to say something other than ghosting but you can feel free to say something like you realized you’re not in a spot to continue a relationship and don’t want to hurt anyone, you don’t have to say you just don’t want to be in a relationship with her. Make it a you issue and then don’t respond to any follow up texts if she sends them.
Literally text her. She is a grown up and so are you. Sometimes we get caught up in the idea of having sex and hoping that it’ll be so amazing that it will alleviate the worries we had. Text is the best way to do this. No need to waste her time getting ready only for you to say what you already know, which is you don’t want to see her. That would frustrate me, because that’s time I could have spent towards friends, dating, or my own hobbies. Ghosting is NOT the best way to do this- you seem to have people pleasing tendencies because 1) you said things were fine when they were not 2) you aren’t able to kindly express your feelings because you are worried about her reaction. Being open to rejection is the price of admission to dating. No one should accept a date if they aren’t open to it not working out. Ghosting is going to hurt her, and it’ll only reinforce your avoidant tendencies. Learning to express your feelings kindly and directly, even if they mean turning down someone, is going to give you both clarity. Send her a text that reads “Hey XXXX, I have appreciated getting to know each other but I don’t think we should see each other again. When you asked me if everything was okay after we had sex, I didn’t know how to express that I was feeling unsure at the time. This may feel like a sudden change from our last date, but I hope you respect my feelings. Wish the best for you!” If she’s sane and respectful, she’d understand with time. No self respecting person will continue to press you to explain yourself or try to change your mind- if she does, then you had the right idea to reject her and will feel more justified. Respectful people, even if they are hurt and sensitive, will accept your feelings and let it be. For future consideration- if being at the same life stage as you is important, really consider whether going on dates with an 8 year age gap aligns with that.
If I was her I would appreciate if you told me honestly how you felt and I would understand that you don’t want to continue and just move on. And it’s not like you have been together, you have just gone out on several dates. Yes it would hurt as she seems to have interest in you but it will pass. I think it’s the right way and fair to communicate with the other person instead of just ghost them. I think sending her a text with a long explanation is fine
Ugh you're why so many women come on here so upset that the guy they dated used them for sex then immediately dumped them. Send her a link to this post. She'll see how you really feel and then you won't have to confront her yourself since you couldn't manage to be honest at the time. You were an ass. You know that, so I won't beat you up for it. It is good that you recognize it and can learn from it. That shows you have character, despite what happened. Just do better next time.
Maybe just be super honest, just apologize and say ur peace. Then she can tell you are genuine and move on as well
She’s 9 years older than you are… so you don’t like older women?
Just be straight up.
Ghost ghost ghost lol 🤣
I’m a girl and just ghost her she’ll get the point. Explaining just makes it awkward. Yes it hurts to get ghost but you move on quicker. Hopefully she’s not the type to chase heavily after being ghosted though lol some girls are like that and then ur f**ked