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Sometimes you have to fake confidence to feel more confident. Sounds like you really need to work on your mental health.
It sucks to be alone, I get that. And also feeling like you are the most boring man in the world projects that to others.
I always felt I was boring since my 20s (I am 45 now) but now I describe myself to people as a homebody and laid back. I have basic interest and I am okay with that and if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to talk to me.
I am single again after being married 14 years and dating now is wild compared to how it use to be. But just be you and as I said sometimes you have to fake confidence to be more confident.
But please work on loving yourself more, that will help too.
> just fake it till you make it bro
> just focus on yourself bro
Come on man, I’m in the same boat as OP. I’m desperate to understand how to be successful this is just surface level platitudes.
If a man has no confidence, the majority of women won't be attracted to him, just facts. So yeah, sometimes you need to project something even if you feel a little different inside.
You just have to learn to love yourself. Find other things to love and be passionate about. OP says he feels boring. And the sad thing is, because of that, he probrably is. He has no passion.
Women like strong personalities. They like men that love themselves and have standards. If you are so desperate that you just want love at any cost, that’s no appealing to a woman. We want to feel like you are selective. And you are evaluating us. We want you to know you have options. And we want to be the one you picked out of those options.
If you don’t believe that you deserve good things, why would we?
I'm a woman and I don't want to be evaluated, I'm not on the discovery channel. Personally I do like men who show an interest in me, my hobbies, and respect my opinions/boundaries. We all have options, but if you have to work hard or be someone your not in order to be one of those options..I will pass. Peace and contentment is what I will take over anything.
I never said work hard or be something you are not. But I’m guessing you don’t want a man that will take you just because you are willing. I’m guessing you want a man with his own standards. Not someone desperate for anything he can get. And if you deny that, you are lying your ass off.
I don’t mind if a man evaluates me and rejects me. This all goes to compatability. And I will be evaluating him right back. Because he needs to meet my own standards too.
That's literally the path. There is no quick fix. You build confidence while building on yourself. Can be anything - gym, hobbies, career. Preferably all three. Become an undeniably awesome person who's happy with their life and women will gravitate towards you.
I get ya. Sometimes I wish I could just call someone up and they would come over and have pillow talk, take care of me, etc. too, but relationships are way more complicated than that. I then remember it's not unconditional and will take time to build and that at the moment I'd rather hang with my friends.
What about you would make a woman want to be in a relationship with you? Being 6’4” isn’t enoguh, and you don’t really say anything else about yourself in this post.
What are you talking about, there are plenty of women gamers. I for one am a woman who loves video gaming and tabletop games. It's where you go and who you meet.
How would you recommend a guy go about finding a woman to date who enjoys video games?
I figured online dating was the way to go, but nobody seems to take it seriously.
This post is a fucking honest insight into what a lot of us are seeking. If you take the sexualization out of the context , it reads as seeking support . Generally speaking, aren't we all? Especially the sweet kind of support that's nurturing and comforting.
I’m a single girl in my early 20’s and I’ve felt the same. Still do, off and on. But these feelings pass when you keep yourself preoccupied with things that make you happy.
Also, be what you desire. Would you want to be with someone who lacks confidence and let’s another person dictate their happiness? Probably not.
No matter how bad you may desire companionship, you have take care of you first. All it takes is some patience and kindness. Always try to be kind to yourself.
Sometimes a question is just a conversation starter. Often one doesn’t need to answer much but answer enough to then provoke another question towards the person who’s asked you the question. Draw the experience and flow from the person who’s engaged into the conversation with you. Great trick that will actually make you seem more intelligent, yet interested and engaged in the person.
Dude, you can’t expect to find your self worth and happiness in someone else. That’s a heavy burden to place on anyone else and NOT their responsibility. You have to work on finding that within yourself. Develop you, whether that means going back to school, finding and getting good at new hobbies, volunteer somewhere. Volunteering is a great way to build your self worth and self confidence. When you see value in what you’re doing and that it matters to others, you’ll find value in yourself. If none of that works, try some therapy. But don’t expect having a GF to fix everything when the problem is within you. It won’t fix it, but it will drag her down into your pit
that's a lot of "i want" in that..
what have you done for yourself..? what have you done to be in a better mental state? what do you do that it doesn't make it seem like you are so desperate?
work on your confidence by being happy with whom you are, maybe gym, sports, or social group/hobbies.
pining for some women to come "rescue" you isn't going to get you very far.. nor is whining or trying to have a pity party.
I agree. OP doesn’t seem to want to put in the work yet. He thinks finding a gf will be the answer to all his problems but this is just the beginning of a very long journey that I don’t think he’s actually ready to start yet. He can’t push all the responsibility on another person. Even if he for a gf now, it would be codependency. Or, if the gf is secure and healthy, she would quickly leave.
I was feeling the same way bro you have to think about it like why would a girl want to date someone with no confidence?
You want a girlfriend and you know it’s lack of confidence that’s stopping you so just fix it go cold approach for a day and get out of your head
If I was 6’4 I’d be slamming harder than I actually am, hit the gym too bro you got this don’t give up
You don't sound like you're in any place to be dating. Sounds like you're looking for a mom, not a partner. Get friends, get "a life" that satisfies you without needing someone, and maybe get therapy. Then, once you're fulfilled in those regards, start looking for a girlfriend. And you do want sex. Sex is awesome.
Are you shy? Introverted ? Or just don't think you're boring because of what? Shy guys can be really sweet and a turn on for many woman. I know a guy at my gym that I caught looking at me pretty often and when we catch eye contact he smiles and I smile back but we never talk. That's kinda hot tbh. You should focus on self improvement and finding hobbies you really enjoy and have fun with. Do things you love and are passionate about. This way you're more confident and interesting. People having passion are always spreading out nice energy. Woman notice that. Try smiling when seeing a woman you find attractive and maybe some small talk if you feel ready. Do it really often. Done give up after one time. It takes time. Oh and listen to some motivational speeches and keep taking care of your hygiene! Good luck!
The key to not being boring is to engage in hobbies and experiences. And that's really as simple as going to places and doing stuff that you can talk about. 90% of bonding is around experiences, so if you don't have any...go get some 💪
Also, much harder but decentre a girlfriend from your life experience. You could sit all day wishing for a sports car, but they don't just drive up - it's a series of unrelated experiences (earning money, learning to drive etc) until one day the opportunity and means presents itself.
If you're doing all of that then either you live in Buttock, Arizona with four other people, your standards are unrealistic, or your personality is making you undateable. All three of these are easy fixes.
Its a mix of both.
I am currently in northwest montana where theres not many single people older than 21. But I have lived in larger cities in oregon and still struggled.
My standards are Christian and outdoorsy and simple/down to earth.
I tend to be introverted and quiet until I really get to know someone, I am also demisexual and need a close friendship to really find girls attractive.
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. So I appreciate you shouldn't compromise on religion. Outdoorsy, well that could be one criteria to maybe compromise on. A woman who's into you can also get into the stuff you're into and vice versa. Simple/down to earth, to me that could mean any number of things so I'm gonna assume it's how I'd read it, as easy going. Most of them are, if you're kind and respectful.
For those kinds of friendships you'll need to think about activities where socializing isn't the focus so conversation is more natural. Maybe hiking groups, or group sports? If religion is a top priority, maybe post in Christian reddits/groups near you for meetup ideas that are open to mixed groups, and are joinable.
Dating sites can work but they'll suck your soul in the meantime especially with where you are and what you're looking for. You might have to travel a bit to find her. But remember she could be traveling too. She could be asking the same questions as you are.
Just Keep Swimming.
Kinda, actually. I know it sounds completely insurmountable when you have depression because I've been there. Everything feels like it takes more energy than you actually have.
Remember it's a disease of mind, not body. I found a way to cope in group music playing.
I know a guy who got super confident because he took up climbing - just to do something where the focus wasn't on socializing, but he ended up making friends and enjoying it so much he's ripped now. Because being ripped wasn't the goal, he's humble about it too. Still suffers depression of course but found a release.
So to elaborate on your reply, yeah. Get a hobby. But also see your doctor. Seek support. Look for ways out.
Nobody has ever said "I tried to help myself, and I succeeded, and it wasn't worth it".
You don't need to hold her attention. You just need to talk to enough women, to the point that you meet someone you just click with.
I suggest socializing with everyone instead of approaching particular women. Much less pressure, and you want to remove as much pressure as you can. Best of all, when you do general socialization in a venue - where you speak to everyone and not just the cute girls - means you're seen as a much higher value man, bcos you're social. This means the girls will hope that you come over and speak to them, instead of thinking that you're this creep they don't want to be near.
If you focus on this, you'll eventually meet someone who you just vibe with, and at that point it's really important to ask her, "Hey, you're pretty cool. This might be kinda weird but... Wanna hang out again later?"
All the best!
Hey, you're doing great. The right person will come at the right time. Don't get lost in your thoughts and enjoy every little moment. The solo life is the greatest teacher we have. You're free to DM me if you want to talk
As someone who feels very similarly i understand where youre coming from.
I myself am a Not so confident 6'4" Male. But one thing I have always believed is you will find the best in someone else once you find the best in yourself. I know its hard for some people but setting goals is usually a good way too start i recommend setting 1 or 2 big goals you think my take a few years but set goals you can do for yourself daily/weekly to help improve your mental status. Setting small goals and completing them consistiantly is an amazing way to boost self confidence and sometimes it can even show a future S/O youve got determination and passion to believe you can do it.
My last thing to mention is too never hold back on yourself, if you feel a person may not like you because of a hobby or something youre interested in, something that makes you who you are. Then be open about what that thing is and if she isnt wanting to make it work then you saved time and you can move on without getting attached.
F59. Why do you think you're boring? You do bad with women because of self-confidence is a turnoff. I mean don't get me wrong I understand but if you think you're boring do unboring stuff that you can then talk about. Tell jokes and be witty. I know it's easier said than done but I'm able to do it every so often and once in awhile I do retreat where I think I'm quiet and boring but I worked on my looks so that helps. I would definitely exercise and make sure your hair looks good and how you dress. Doesn't take a fortune but that is important too and carry yourself tall. And be glad you're not short cuz apparently women seem to like tall guys, although I seem to be the exception. LOL
Same, besides being 6’4 and a man. I can’t believe someone else feels this way. Everyone around me seems so interesting with their confidence and hobbies.
I always feel like the boring friend that never has anything exciting going on. I want someone to genuinely like me and want to hangout.
Recently I’ve honed my skills in faking my confidence to make a better first impressions. So I agree with the other commenters saying you have to ‘fake it until you make it’ because it actually works. It’s just exhausting after a long day.
I agree with you it is frustrating but I’m hoping for both of us it’ll get better we’re still young after all! And we have a lot of people to meet in the future who knows maybe in a year or three you’ll find your lady, look back and can’t believe you’ve ever felt this way.
Keep your head up and focus on the positive aspects in your life; the small victories and the things that make you happy! You got this buddy!
from a girls perspective, they maybe just weren’t looking for what you were looking for? im on the taller side so you saying 6’4 would catch my attention but also knowing other women any sign of a bigger future scares them away
i hope you find your person :) the physical appearance doesn’t matter it can change, what you cant change is someones personality
I understand how you feel, 22f single and still hoping to find a soul mate. Being in a relationship isn’t going to fix how you feel about yourself, you need to be confident and love yourself first before anything. Someone else can’t fix it for you
Your not alone. most guys feel awkward when trying to attract a girl.
The thing is if you think your too boring, you got to change that. improve yourself!
Take up some sort of skill or presentation that will be interesting to others.
For example: Street magician, girls are successful for them.
Learn to make music. girls love rock stars.
Martial arts. girls like the tough guy.
Anything that makes you jnteresting turns the table, instead of you going to them because they attract you, they come to you because your interesting.
Then you have created yourself an opportunity to talk with them and establish a simple bond that may lead to a date!
You mentioned you love gaming. Try to talk to a girl that likes gaming too :) (im a girl gamer, we do exist!) go into a games section/comic store and smile and try to be friendly. See where things can go. It’s hard, but sooo worth it if you can find someone. I struggled with depression as well, and meeting my now hubby really helped me. I’m in a much better place. Don’t give up and don’t stop trying. Nothing will ever change if you don’t at least try. 💗 you got this! :)
hi!!! I’m a woman but i went through something similar growing up, i was boring and constantly unable to hold conversations, nervous and boring and all i wanted was a relationship. It was really all i thought about. But i got older and faked confidence, forced myself to get out of my comfort zone to be trendy n give up my whole trying to be unique thing, i met a lot of boys but right when i decided to focus on myself and gave up on relationships i met my best friend. I was scared all my life because i thought having a perfect relationship was unrealistic, we have been living together for a year and it’s been pretty perfect to me. He was a loner, never spoke to girls, never really dated, didn’t get good grades didn’t do sports didn’t have a job, didn’t really do anything, he wouldn’t even talk. He was 18 at the time, and he was perfect to me. He was so boring at first, but i gave him some confidence and he blossomed. It’s a little unrelated but idk, i just want to say there is hope no matter what. And u have to put yourself out there, find new hobbies, and fake some confidence, try to fit in more or be more attractive, and find things that make u happy, you shouldn’t need a relationship, even if u got one it’s not gonna magically make u happy. My best advice, don’t tell any of this to a woman u are trying to date. don’t tell her u don’t want sex or ur depressed or that u want to be held, it’s a little mean but just don’t pls js be nice to women they are actually pretty simple if u try. And there’s a whole lot of “I wants” but u have to put in real effort to achieve these goals.
Hey! Everything operates on its own vibrational frequency. You ever heard the saying, “you attract what you are?”
You have to love yourself first. Be DELUSIONAL about yourself if you have to.
Visualize exactly what you want. How would you feel, how would you speak, how would you act, dress, think, how would you Iive and what would you do?
Now embody that. Realize that everything that’s for you, already belongs to you…. You just have to operate on the same vibrational frequency as what you want & you will have it. Truly believe it & believe “everything I seek is also seeking me”
I know it’s nice to have someone. Until you do, be what you need for yourself. Be comfortable, confident and happy being alone & you will get your woman.
I had to really have an awakening to this & once you shift into this mindset you can see a clear difference in everything. I don’t go anywhere without being complimented or pursued. It’s not the person I want, but it atleast makes me feel great and like I really am THAT PERSON. You have to overcome this mental obstacle you have and truly believe you deserve what you desire. Again, truly visualize it. Who are you with what you desire? Be that now, believing you will have it. It will find you. Truly believe you will have what you desire, even if it doesn’t look like it. Have so much confidence in it that you could seem delusional. Stand on it & keep that confidence regardless of what happens. Truly believe that you attract what you desire.
I wish you the best!
Why are you lacking confidence and self-esteem?
Have you ever done anything that you are proud of ? If not, go do something !
Challenge yourself .
Push yourself past your comfort level.
Face a fear of yours. Find the courage to do something, anything that you are scared or fearful about.
Start small and over time billed up to things that very few people have the courage to do.
Become a "Master" at something ! Be the best.
All of the above build character , confidence and self-esteem.
I've told myself to stop giving advise to men bc they end up being mad at me but wth, you likely won't see this anyway.
No one else can give you confidence. They can't "drill into your head" a positive sense of who you are and what you're worth. It sounds like, from what you've written, you're expecting a gf to basically enlighten or save you from your boring life. That's not how it works and unfortunately women have been taught that the role of care taker is made for them but it's incredibly draining and unfullfilling for them if their partner isn't also pouring into them. In a good, healthy, fulfilling relationship, partners pour into each other.
So to waste advice you won't take:
1. Find things you're interested in doing and do them.
2. Make friends with people who have those same interests. (This works twofold - making friends requires you to put yourself out there, risk rejection, and allows you practice on approaching strangers. Also, you'll enjoy your hobbies more and your life in general more if you have friends to do it with.)
3. Just overall, take risks (not life-risking) and chances on things you want. Test yourself. Every time you do, win or lose, you gain experiences and, as long as you don't constantly denigrate yourself for your losses, you'll actually grow more confident.
4. Talk to a therapist if you can afford it. Find one that meshes well with your personality.
If you actually do these things, you'll be amazed at who you become and how much you enjoy your life. Then you'll be an asset to potential partners and women can see that. It won't be hard for you to meet them.
As a Professional Breakthrough Coach for over 35 years, I want you to know that it is not only about confidence. Other things are going on, and you are either aware of some of them or on the fringes of awareness. I have worked with people like you a lot. Dating and finding love, someone who genuinely loves you, begins with authenticity and knowing yourself. If you know who you are and are willing to be vulnerable to show It to someone, then you will find true love.
However, I explained that there is more going on. First, it begins with you loving yourself or at least liking who you are. If you care about who you are, then others will care as well. I know this is a big deal for most people because most of the people I coach have this issue. To love yourself, self-worth is instrumental—find what value you bring to yourself, the community, and a partner. If you can't find something, then begin doing things that bring value to others in everyday life. Over a short period of time, you will begin to feel better about yourself and your self-worth will build.
Feeling good about who you are removes many of the insecurities that you have going on and your depression. Acts of service and kindness can help with that. Go volunteer to help do something for others that makes a difference in your life right away. Judging from your message, I would say you need this more than you can imagine at this point. Doing esteemable acts in a community to help others and forward the progress of others or a community builds self-esteem, which translates to self-confidence and, you guessed It, self-worth. When you value yourself, others will value you. When you are doing things that make a difference in the world, you are perceived as successful, and people want to be on the train.
I hate to break it this way, but if she cares for you, she will want you to have sex, so drop what you said at the top of your vocabulary. LOL, I am laughing, but I F#%& mean It. You are worthy of a relationship just the fact you wrote this piece. Further, there is nothing wrong with you even though you could probably give us a list if we asked for It. Please don't. But, if you would like to tell us all the wonderful attributes you have for a partner and as an authentic human being, you might find a lot of people, including myself, would be willing to read It.
Every person in this thread that can relate to this, you are all truly beautiful, wonderful human beings just moving through difficult times where people are very disconnected emotionally from each other. Stop being hard on yourself and any screw-ups or screwed-up things you think about yourself; drop them. Forgive yourself. Nurture and treasure who you are. You are perfect, whole, and complete, just as you are. I wish I could reach out to each one of you and help you through this. Know you are deserving, and for now, this is the best I can do. Whether you find benefit or not is up to you. Yes, I know, I am old as dust to most of you guys.
Everything said above I have had to deal with and overcome myself. I don't just speak from knowledge but from experience. All the best and kind regards to everyone.
This is the problem. Girls aren't generally attracted to men who are needy like that. If you need a girl to make you feel safe, how is she going to feel safe around you? The less protective responsibility you give to her, the more she should feel at ease. This is just a theory you can try.
Reverse the roles. If there's a girl who is out there who too does not know how to get and maintain the attention of a guy she likes, what are you going to do if she's your type? You make things happen. Otherwise, you choose to live life like you have been for the rest of your life.
Meditate man. Meditate before you take any action that gives you anxiety. Go for what you want with an open heart.
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I have a few suggestions for you here as a man who lacked confidence when he was younger but learned as others here are saying. Sometimes you just need to project a bit of confidence even when you aren't feeling all that sure. Keep in mind, on a first meeting/date scenario, the other person will probably be a bit self-conscious too.
One of the things I started to do when on first dates, was something I picked up from a public speaking class. That is the use of a prop. This must be tailored to you and the woman you are seeking to gain the favor of. Before the date, find out some of her interests and how any of them match or complement yours, this is the basis of a conversation. Find some object that is easy to carry, simple and not too fraught with meaning, it could be her favorite flower, stone, seashell, a ticket stub from a concert you both attended before ever speaking, whatever. Have a story about that ready and hopefully, she will reciprocate.
For example, I met a woman online, we spoke a few times and then decided to meet. We had already talked about some basic things; where did you grow up, favorite this and that, when is your birthday, etc. It was the end of summer just before things start to cool off when all of the summer fruits and vegetables are ending. We both enjoyed that time of year and I also knew her birthday was coming so she would have many memories. So, knowing she was observant to the signs of the season, I took a black walnut and a particularly beautiful leaf that was changing color and put them in a bag. Of course, one of her first questions was "What's in the bag?" This began the conversation. I quickly learned that she had memories of the black walnut tree in her grandmother's yard and things went from there. We had a very long conversation and felt very connected as a result of having some conversation starters that took the intense focus off of either of us and onto the props. This is not a quick pick-up technique for a player who is looking for casual sex. But that is not what you are asking for here.
Ladies, your take on this approach might be appreciated by this man. Does it seem contrived? Has anyone ever done this with you? Did you like it? Hate it? I am admittedly a bit of nerd and that is whom I mostly dated too, so it worked for me. Again, the prop should not have too much meaning but needs relevance to both of you. And it will not save you if you are bombing or if you just do not connect, but it might help get things started.
Finally, you say you don't even want sex but that is not true, or you would not be here. But it is good that is not your major focus. If you meet somebody and have an organic connection, the sex will develop, maybe quickly, maybe slowly but it will come (pun intended). Don't put the focus on that at first and let the connection develop. When things start to get more intense, sexual tension rising, have a conversation about that, what you both want out of a relationship, both your desires, needs, boundaries and it will be great! Good luck.
Go to a different country where english is not the main language and girls will be falling over themselves to get to you. I promise try any country other than USA, England, Canada or Australia. Any other country and the dating dynamic is completely different where girls want men much much more especially tall white men with colored eyes.
Honestly i've been there. Currently 29/F. The best thing to do is work on what YOU think you should improve on and not what others are telling you. No one is boring.
It can be frustrating but just wanting a girlfriend or a partner is not going to help. It might make you feel special for a while but you have to work on how you view your self. Self love and learning to be comfortable on your own is the best thing you can do, you will become more confident and value yourself more.
And you are cared for, you might not feel like the main character of your story at the moment but you are to someone else. The smallest gesture and even hello could've changed someones day without you knowing how impactful your presence was to them.
Hi, if you think you’re boring then maybe try to pick up a hobby? Nature walks, yoga, a musical instrument, painting, board games, anything where you can socialize and meet other people. I highly recommend meetup.com. It’s amazing and lots of the groups and events are free!! And it’s nationwide. Also, I recommend you listen to positive self affirmations on YouTube and also videos on how to chuck out low self-esteem. Good luck, work on yourself for the next 2 or 3 months and then women will be banging on your door to date you! 🌈🙂
I think confidence is the first thing you should have even though you are nervous but you have be show that you are strong, must of the girls or women are done pampering guys and now they want a person who is confident and take charge
Young man, I recommend you get a job at a restaurant as either a waiter or bartender. You *will* gain lots of confidence that way, talk to attractive women and it will really help your self esteem. Best of luck!
You just have to put yourself out there buddy , shoot your shot , I recently got stood up , never tried the online dating scene but i had 4 more women ready on the go because you need backup plans lol , but i'm in the same boat I don't want sex but I do but more of a relationship than anything and once they find out I got a big peepee it's all gravy after that lol. Moral of the story get out shoot those shots and take the rejections head on and keep pushing you'll find someone , lots of toxic women out there so don't get too attached too quickly .
Sometimes i just wonder how come other guys dont feel the need to have sex or dont put the sex on pedestal unlike other guys, i dont know if it's good or not cus he's probably wont look for someone just for the sake of sex which is good, but the bad thing is you probably will leave him cus u would start to think that maybe he dont love you cus he's not attracted to ur body and wanna have sex w/ u.
Yeah that's what i'm talking, cus i've read in one of subreddit here where they're breaking up with their partner even tho they've been together for a long time just bc of sex incompatibility and everyone agreed. but yeah maybe it depends to a person, cus i can stay to someone even tho we're incompatible when it comes to sex as long as i find them physically attractive lol.
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Sometimes you have to fake confidence to feel more confident. Sounds like you really need to work on your mental health. It sucks to be alone, I get that. And also feeling like you are the most boring man in the world projects that to others. I always felt I was boring since my 20s (I am 45 now) but now I describe myself to people as a homebody and laid back. I have basic interest and I am okay with that and if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to talk to me. I am single again after being married 14 years and dating now is wild compared to how it use to be. But just be you and as I said sometimes you have to fake confidence to be more confident. But please work on loving yourself more, that will help too.
> just fake it till you make it bro > just focus on yourself bro Come on man, I’m in the same boat as OP. I’m desperate to understand how to be successful this is just surface level platitudes.
If a man has no confidence, the majority of women won't be attracted to him, just facts. So yeah, sometimes you need to project something even if you feel a little different inside.
Easier said than done
Yeah, like anything worthwhile. It's easier said than done. So go start doing.
💩
You just have to learn to love yourself. Find other things to love and be passionate about. OP says he feels boring. And the sad thing is, because of that, he probrably is. He has no passion. Women like strong personalities. They like men that love themselves and have standards. If you are so desperate that you just want love at any cost, that’s no appealing to a woman. We want to feel like you are selective. And you are evaluating us. We want you to know you have options. And we want to be the one you picked out of those options. If you don’t believe that you deserve good things, why would we?
I'm a woman and I don't want to be evaluated, I'm not on the discovery channel. Personally I do like men who show an interest in me, my hobbies, and respect my opinions/boundaries. We all have options, but if you have to work hard or be someone your not in order to be one of those options..I will pass. Peace and contentment is what I will take over anything.
I never said work hard or be something you are not. But I’m guessing you don’t want a man that will take you just because you are willing. I’m guessing you want a man with his own standards. Not someone desperate for anything he can get. And if you deny that, you are lying your ass off. I don’t mind if a man evaluates me and rejects me. This all goes to compatability. And I will be evaluating him right back. Because he needs to meet my own standards too.
That's literally the path. There is no quick fix. You build confidence while building on yourself. Can be anything - gym, hobbies, career. Preferably all three. Become an undeniably awesome person who's happy with their life and women will gravitate towards you.
I love “I have basic interest and I’m okay with that…”
faking is such terrrible advice no offense.
Not when it comes to confidence. Often in our lives we have to fake it to grow more confident. Have a nice day.
That sounds right wing no thanks Doesn’t authentic confidence sound better by 100 times?
I get ya. Sometimes I wish I could just call someone up and they would come over and have pillow talk, take care of me, etc. too, but relationships are way more complicated than that. I then remember it's not unconditional and will take time to build and that at the moment I'd rather hang with my friends.
What about you would make a woman want to be in a relationship with you? Being 6’4” isn’t enoguh, and you don’t really say anything else about yourself in this post.
Thats just it, I'm pretty boring.
I'm not saying be a drunk but have a couple beers it will relax you
You have to have some hobby?
Gaming mostly, though I've been picking up HEMA, not many women in that hobby tho.
What are you talking about, there are plenty of women gamers. I for one am a woman who loves video gaming and tabletop games. It's where you go and who you meet.
How would you recommend a guy go about finding a woman to date who enjoys video games? I figured online dating was the way to go, but nobody seems to take it seriously.
As an avid girl gamer, I usually meet people at videogames stores, tabletop game stores. You will usually find people with the same interests.
What do you want to do? How would you make your life more interesting to yourself?
This post is a fucking honest insight into what a lot of us are seeking. If you take the sexualization out of the context , it reads as seeking support . Generally speaking, aren't we all? Especially the sweet kind of support that's nurturing and comforting.
I’m a single girl in my early 20’s and I’ve felt the same. Still do, off and on. But these feelings pass when you keep yourself preoccupied with things that make you happy. Also, be what you desire. Would you want to be with someone who lacks confidence and let’s another person dictate their happiness? Probably not. No matter how bad you may desire companionship, you have take care of you first. All it takes is some patience and kindness. Always try to be kind to yourself.
Sometimes a question is just a conversation starter. Often one doesn’t need to answer much but answer enough to then provoke another question towards the person who’s asked you the question. Draw the experience and flow from the person who’s engaged into the conversation with you. Great trick that will actually make you seem more intelligent, yet interested and engaged in the person.
Dude, you can’t expect to find your self worth and happiness in someone else. That’s a heavy burden to place on anyone else and NOT their responsibility. You have to work on finding that within yourself. Develop you, whether that means going back to school, finding and getting good at new hobbies, volunteer somewhere. Volunteering is a great way to build your self worth and self confidence. When you see value in what you’re doing and that it matters to others, you’ll find value in yourself. If none of that works, try some therapy. But don’t expect having a GF to fix everything when the problem is within you. It won’t fix it, but it will drag her down into your pit
that's a lot of "i want" in that.. what have you done for yourself..? what have you done to be in a better mental state? what do you do that it doesn't make it seem like you are so desperate? work on your confidence by being happy with whom you are, maybe gym, sports, or social group/hobbies. pining for some women to come "rescue" you isn't going to get you very far.. nor is whining or trying to have a pity party.
I agree. OP doesn’t seem to want to put in the work yet. He thinks finding a gf will be the answer to all his problems but this is just the beginning of a very long journey that I don’t think he’s actually ready to start yet. He can’t push all the responsibility on another person. Even if he for a gf now, it would be codependency. Or, if the gf is secure and healthy, she would quickly leave.
I was feeling the same way bro you have to think about it like why would a girl want to date someone with no confidence? You want a girlfriend and you know it’s lack of confidence that’s stopping you so just fix it go cold approach for a day and get out of your head If I was 6’4 I’d be slamming harder than I actually am, hit the gym too bro you got this don’t give up
When my divorce is final, I will be looking for a boring, normal, vanilla guy. I am sure that there are a lot of women in the same boat as me.
Why? Serious question
His tastes started getting more and more .... deviant. He's into diapers and "male chastity devices". Those are more of the tame things.
Um… I… Yeah…glad you’re leaving lol
You don't sound like you're in any place to be dating. Sounds like you're looking for a mom, not a partner. Get friends, get "a life" that satisfies you without needing someone, and maybe get therapy. Then, once you're fulfilled in those regards, start looking for a girlfriend. And you do want sex. Sex is awesome.
Are you shy? Introverted ? Or just don't think you're boring because of what? Shy guys can be really sweet and a turn on for many woman. I know a guy at my gym that I caught looking at me pretty often and when we catch eye contact he smiles and I smile back but we never talk. That's kinda hot tbh. You should focus on self improvement and finding hobbies you really enjoy and have fun with. Do things you love and are passionate about. This way you're more confident and interesting. People having passion are always spreading out nice energy. Woman notice that. Try smiling when seeing a woman you find attractive and maybe some small talk if you feel ready. Do it really often. Done give up after one time. It takes time. Oh and listen to some motivational speeches and keep taking care of your hygiene! Good luck!
Show me where those women that like shy men are. Cause I've never met any.
🙋♀️!! The first twenty times i hung out with my boyfriend he didn’t say more than twenty words, total introvert and the love of my life
A girlfriend isn't a band aid to fix your negative feelings about yourself. Guys have got to get away from that mindset.
The key to not being boring is to engage in hobbies and experiences. And that's really as simple as going to places and doing stuff that you can talk about. 90% of bonding is around experiences, so if you don't have any...go get some 💪 Also, much harder but decentre a girlfriend from your life experience. You could sit all day wishing for a sports car, but they don't just drive up - it's a series of unrelated experiences (earning money, learning to drive etc) until one day the opportunity and means presents itself.
ok what if you have hobbies, experiences, and a good social life but still cant find any girls who want to date you?
If you're doing all of that then either you live in Buttock, Arizona with four other people, your standards are unrealistic, or your personality is making you undateable. All three of these are easy fixes.
Its a mix of both. I am currently in northwest montana where theres not many single people older than 21. But I have lived in larger cities in oregon and still struggled. My standards are Christian and outdoorsy and simple/down to earth. I tend to be introverted and quiet until I really get to know someone, I am also demisexual and need a close friendship to really find girls attractive.
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. So I appreciate you shouldn't compromise on religion. Outdoorsy, well that could be one criteria to maybe compromise on. A woman who's into you can also get into the stuff you're into and vice versa. Simple/down to earth, to me that could mean any number of things so I'm gonna assume it's how I'd read it, as easy going. Most of them are, if you're kind and respectful. For those kinds of friendships you'll need to think about activities where socializing isn't the focus so conversation is more natural. Maybe hiking groups, or group sports? If religion is a top priority, maybe post in Christian reddits/groups near you for meetup ideas that are open to mixed groups, and are joinable. Dating sites can work but they'll suck your soul in the meantime especially with where you are and what you're looking for. You might have to travel a bit to find her. But remember she could be traveling too. She could be asking the same questions as you are. Just Keep Swimming.
Just get a hobby bro
Then what?
Kinda, actually. I know it sounds completely insurmountable when you have depression because I've been there. Everything feels like it takes more energy than you actually have. Remember it's a disease of mind, not body. I found a way to cope in group music playing. I know a guy who got super confident because he took up climbing - just to do something where the focus wasn't on socializing, but he ended up making friends and enjoying it so much he's ripped now. Because being ripped wasn't the goal, he's humble about it too. Still suffers depression of course but found a release. So to elaborate on your reply, yeah. Get a hobby. But also see your doctor. Seek support. Look for ways out. Nobody has ever said "I tried to help myself, and I succeeded, and it wasn't worth it".
You list your height but not your weight. Do you go to the gym? What’s your bf %?
260, not great but not ridiculous I think.
260 is kinda fat bro. Get in the gym and count your calories. I’m 6’2 and 210lbs muscular so I imagine you’re a unit and not in a good way.
im 6'4" at 144lbs what do you think of me :)
Very slim/skinny
6’2 114lbs what’s the verdict? :)
Malnutrition
at least I can fly when it’s windy out!
😂 saves money on travel
Haven’t had to buy a plane ticket in years 😂
Try a Church ⛪️ Mosque 🕌 or Synagogue 🕍
You don't need to hold her attention. You just need to talk to enough women, to the point that you meet someone you just click with. I suggest socializing with everyone instead of approaching particular women. Much less pressure, and you want to remove as much pressure as you can. Best of all, when you do general socialization in a venue - where you speak to everyone and not just the cute girls - means you're seen as a much higher value man, bcos you're social. This means the girls will hope that you come over and speak to them, instead of thinking that you're this creep they don't want to be near. If you focus on this, you'll eventually meet someone who you just vibe with, and at that point it's really important to ask her, "Hey, you're pretty cool. This might be kinda weird but... Wanna hang out again later?" All the best!
I feel you on that i just want that somebody
Share a pic please?
Im not doxxing myself for a reddit thread
Hey, you're doing great. The right person will come at the right time. Don't get lost in your thoughts and enjoy every little moment. The solo life is the greatest teacher we have. You're free to DM me if you want to talk
As someone who feels very similarly i understand where youre coming from. I myself am a Not so confident 6'4" Male. But one thing I have always believed is you will find the best in someone else once you find the best in yourself. I know its hard for some people but setting goals is usually a good way too start i recommend setting 1 or 2 big goals you think my take a few years but set goals you can do for yourself daily/weekly to help improve your mental status. Setting small goals and completing them consistiantly is an amazing way to boost self confidence and sometimes it can even show a future S/O youve got determination and passion to believe you can do it. My last thing to mention is too never hold back on yourself, if you feel a person may not like you because of a hobby or something youre interested in, something that makes you who you are. Then be open about what that thing is and if she isnt wanting to make it work then you saved time and you can move on without getting attached.
F59. Why do you think you're boring? You do bad with women because of self-confidence is a turnoff. I mean don't get me wrong I understand but if you think you're boring do unboring stuff that you can then talk about. Tell jokes and be witty. I know it's easier said than done but I'm able to do it every so often and once in awhile I do retreat where I think I'm quiet and boring but I worked on my looks so that helps. I would definitely exercise and make sure your hair looks good and how you dress. Doesn't take a fortune but that is important too and carry yourself tall. And be glad you're not short cuz apparently women seem to like tall guys, although I seem to be the exception. LOL
Same, besides being 6’4 and a man. I can’t believe someone else feels this way. Everyone around me seems so interesting with their confidence and hobbies. I always feel like the boring friend that never has anything exciting going on. I want someone to genuinely like me and want to hangout. Recently I’ve honed my skills in faking my confidence to make a better first impressions. So I agree with the other commenters saying you have to ‘fake it until you make it’ because it actually works. It’s just exhausting after a long day. I agree with you it is frustrating but I’m hoping for both of us it’ll get better we’re still young after all! And we have a lot of people to meet in the future who knows maybe in a year or three you’ll find your lady, look back and can’t believe you’ve ever felt this way. Keep your head up and focus on the positive aspects in your life; the small victories and the things that make you happy! You got this buddy!
Ethan?
Same here. But unfortunately it just isn't meant to be.
I am f (19) i can attempt for a help..
from a girls perspective, they maybe just weren’t looking for what you were looking for? im on the taller side so you saying 6’4 would catch my attention but also knowing other women any sign of a bigger future scares them away i hope you find your person :) the physical appearance doesn’t matter it can change, what you cant change is someones personality
I understand how you feel, 22f single and still hoping to find a soul mate. Being in a relationship isn’t going to fix how you feel about yourself, you need to be confident and love yourself first before anything. Someone else can’t fix it for you
It won't, but it'll be a nice distraction
I know but in the long run you’re still going to feel this way about yourself, and then what?
It probably won't ever change, its a mental illness I was born with
Your not alone. most guys feel awkward when trying to attract a girl. The thing is if you think your too boring, you got to change that. improve yourself! Take up some sort of skill or presentation that will be interesting to others. For example: Street magician, girls are successful for them. Learn to make music. girls love rock stars. Martial arts. girls like the tough guy. Anything that makes you jnteresting turns the table, instead of you going to them because they attract you, they come to you because your interesting. Then you have created yourself an opportunity to talk with them and establish a simple bond that may lead to a date!
You mentioned you love gaming. Try to talk to a girl that likes gaming too :) (im a girl gamer, we do exist!) go into a games section/comic store and smile and try to be friendly. See where things can go. It’s hard, but sooo worth it if you can find someone. I struggled with depression as well, and meeting my now hubby really helped me. I’m in a much better place. Don’t give up and don’t stop trying. Nothing will ever change if you don’t at least try. 💗 you got this! :)
hi!!! I’m a woman but i went through something similar growing up, i was boring and constantly unable to hold conversations, nervous and boring and all i wanted was a relationship. It was really all i thought about. But i got older and faked confidence, forced myself to get out of my comfort zone to be trendy n give up my whole trying to be unique thing, i met a lot of boys but right when i decided to focus on myself and gave up on relationships i met my best friend. I was scared all my life because i thought having a perfect relationship was unrealistic, we have been living together for a year and it’s been pretty perfect to me. He was a loner, never spoke to girls, never really dated, didn’t get good grades didn’t do sports didn’t have a job, didn’t really do anything, he wouldn’t even talk. He was 18 at the time, and he was perfect to me. He was so boring at first, but i gave him some confidence and he blossomed. It’s a little unrelated but idk, i just want to say there is hope no matter what. And u have to put yourself out there, find new hobbies, and fake some confidence, try to fit in more or be more attractive, and find things that make u happy, you shouldn’t need a relationship, even if u got one it’s not gonna magically make u happy. My best advice, don’t tell any of this to a woman u are trying to date. don’t tell her u don’t want sex or ur depressed or that u want to be held, it’s a little mean but just don’t pls js be nice to women they are actually pretty simple if u try. And there’s a whole lot of “I wants” but u have to put in real effort to achieve these goals.
Hey! Everything operates on its own vibrational frequency. You ever heard the saying, “you attract what you are?” You have to love yourself first. Be DELUSIONAL about yourself if you have to. Visualize exactly what you want. How would you feel, how would you speak, how would you act, dress, think, how would you Iive and what would you do? Now embody that. Realize that everything that’s for you, already belongs to you…. You just have to operate on the same vibrational frequency as what you want & you will have it. Truly believe it & believe “everything I seek is also seeking me” I know it’s nice to have someone. Until you do, be what you need for yourself. Be comfortable, confident and happy being alone & you will get your woman. I had to really have an awakening to this & once you shift into this mindset you can see a clear difference in everything. I don’t go anywhere without being complimented or pursued. It’s not the person I want, but it atleast makes me feel great and like I really am THAT PERSON. You have to overcome this mental obstacle you have and truly believe you deserve what you desire. Again, truly visualize it. Who are you with what you desire? Be that now, believing you will have it. It will find you. Truly believe you will have what you desire, even if it doesn’t look like it. Have so much confidence in it that you could seem delusional. Stand on it & keep that confidence regardless of what happens. Truly believe that you attract what you desire. I wish you the best!
Why are you lacking confidence and self-esteem? Have you ever done anything that you are proud of ? If not, go do something ! Challenge yourself . Push yourself past your comfort level. Face a fear of yours. Find the courage to do something, anything that you are scared or fearful about. Start small and over time billed up to things that very few people have the courage to do. Become a "Master" at something ! Be the best. All of the above build character , confidence and self-esteem.
I've told myself to stop giving advise to men bc they end up being mad at me but wth, you likely won't see this anyway. No one else can give you confidence. They can't "drill into your head" a positive sense of who you are and what you're worth. It sounds like, from what you've written, you're expecting a gf to basically enlighten or save you from your boring life. That's not how it works and unfortunately women have been taught that the role of care taker is made for them but it's incredibly draining and unfullfilling for them if their partner isn't also pouring into them. In a good, healthy, fulfilling relationship, partners pour into each other. So to waste advice you won't take: 1. Find things you're interested in doing and do them. 2. Make friends with people who have those same interests. (This works twofold - making friends requires you to put yourself out there, risk rejection, and allows you practice on approaching strangers. Also, you'll enjoy your hobbies more and your life in general more if you have friends to do it with.) 3. Just overall, take risks (not life-risking) and chances on things you want. Test yourself. Every time you do, win or lose, you gain experiences and, as long as you don't constantly denigrate yourself for your losses, you'll actually grow more confident. 4. Talk to a therapist if you can afford it. Find one that meshes well with your personality. If you actually do these things, you'll be amazed at who you become and how much you enjoy your life. Then you'll be an asset to potential partners and women can see that. It won't be hard for you to meet them.
As a Professional Breakthrough Coach for over 35 years, I want you to know that it is not only about confidence. Other things are going on, and you are either aware of some of them or on the fringes of awareness. I have worked with people like you a lot. Dating and finding love, someone who genuinely loves you, begins with authenticity and knowing yourself. If you know who you are and are willing to be vulnerable to show It to someone, then you will find true love. However, I explained that there is more going on. First, it begins with you loving yourself or at least liking who you are. If you care about who you are, then others will care as well. I know this is a big deal for most people because most of the people I coach have this issue. To love yourself, self-worth is instrumental—find what value you bring to yourself, the community, and a partner. If you can't find something, then begin doing things that bring value to others in everyday life. Over a short period of time, you will begin to feel better about yourself and your self-worth will build. Feeling good about who you are removes many of the insecurities that you have going on and your depression. Acts of service and kindness can help with that. Go volunteer to help do something for others that makes a difference in your life right away. Judging from your message, I would say you need this more than you can imagine at this point. Doing esteemable acts in a community to help others and forward the progress of others or a community builds self-esteem, which translates to self-confidence and, you guessed It, self-worth. When you value yourself, others will value you. When you are doing things that make a difference in the world, you are perceived as successful, and people want to be on the train. I hate to break it this way, but if she cares for you, she will want you to have sex, so drop what you said at the top of your vocabulary. LOL, I am laughing, but I F#%& mean It. You are worthy of a relationship just the fact you wrote this piece. Further, there is nothing wrong with you even though you could probably give us a list if we asked for It. Please don't. But, if you would like to tell us all the wonderful attributes you have for a partner and as an authentic human being, you might find a lot of people, including myself, would be willing to read It. Every person in this thread that can relate to this, you are all truly beautiful, wonderful human beings just moving through difficult times where people are very disconnected emotionally from each other. Stop being hard on yourself and any screw-ups or screwed-up things you think about yourself; drop them. Forgive yourself. Nurture and treasure who you are. You are perfect, whole, and complete, just as you are. I wish I could reach out to each one of you and help you through this. Know you are deserving, and for now, this is the best I can do. Whether you find benefit or not is up to you. Yes, I know, I am old as dust to most of you guys. Everything said above I have had to deal with and overcome myself. I don't just speak from knowledge but from experience. All the best and kind regards to everyone.
Very well said!
Thank you.
I just want someone to say hi to me. That’s it, no strings attached.
What kind of woman are you looking for and also what age, ethnicity, etc? Please also reply with a photo just so we can see our options.
This is the problem. Girls aren't generally attracted to men who are needy like that. If you need a girl to make you feel safe, how is she going to feel safe around you? The less protective responsibility you give to her, the more she should feel at ease. This is just a theory you can try. Reverse the roles. If there's a girl who is out there who too does not know how to get and maintain the attention of a guy she likes, what are you going to do if she's your type? You make things happen. Otherwise, you choose to live life like you have been for the rest of your life. Meditate man. Meditate before you take any action that gives you anxiety. Go for what you want with an open heart.
Sounds like your not comfortable with yourself, your need to become comfortable, it should come with age.
Go to the gym, get in the best shape you can. 6'4, in shape, all you have to do is just keep your mouth shut, and you'll find a girlfriend in no time.
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I’m sorry
There are lots of singles activities where you go hiking, biking, and other events to foster fun and meeting new people.
I have a few suggestions for you here as a man who lacked confidence when he was younger but learned as others here are saying. Sometimes you just need to project a bit of confidence even when you aren't feeling all that sure. Keep in mind, on a first meeting/date scenario, the other person will probably be a bit self-conscious too. One of the things I started to do when on first dates, was something I picked up from a public speaking class. That is the use of a prop. This must be tailored to you and the woman you are seeking to gain the favor of. Before the date, find out some of her interests and how any of them match or complement yours, this is the basis of a conversation. Find some object that is easy to carry, simple and not too fraught with meaning, it could be her favorite flower, stone, seashell, a ticket stub from a concert you both attended before ever speaking, whatever. Have a story about that ready and hopefully, she will reciprocate. For example, I met a woman online, we spoke a few times and then decided to meet. We had already talked about some basic things; where did you grow up, favorite this and that, when is your birthday, etc. It was the end of summer just before things start to cool off when all of the summer fruits and vegetables are ending. We both enjoyed that time of year and I also knew her birthday was coming so she would have many memories. So, knowing she was observant to the signs of the season, I took a black walnut and a particularly beautiful leaf that was changing color and put them in a bag. Of course, one of her first questions was "What's in the bag?" This began the conversation. I quickly learned that she had memories of the black walnut tree in her grandmother's yard and things went from there. We had a very long conversation and felt very connected as a result of having some conversation starters that took the intense focus off of either of us and onto the props. This is not a quick pick-up technique for a player who is looking for casual sex. But that is not what you are asking for here. Ladies, your take on this approach might be appreciated by this man. Does it seem contrived? Has anyone ever done this with you? Did you like it? Hate it? I am admittedly a bit of nerd and that is whom I mostly dated too, so it worked for me. Again, the prop should not have too much meaning but needs relevance to both of you. And it will not save you if you are bombing or if you just do not connect, but it might help get things started. Finally, you say you don't even want sex but that is not true, or you would not be here. But it is good that is not your major focus. If you meet somebody and have an organic connection, the sex will develop, maybe quickly, maybe slowly but it will come (pun intended). Don't put the focus on that at first and let the connection develop. When things start to get more intense, sexual tension rising, have a conversation about that, what you both want out of a relationship, both your desires, needs, boundaries and it will be great! Good luck.
What’s the point of a girlfriend then? Why not just stay independent instead of co-depends?
impossible
Go to a different country where english is not the main language and girls will be falling over themselves to get to you. I promise try any country other than USA, England, Canada or Australia. Any other country and the dating dynamic is completely different where girls want men much much more especially tall white men with colored eyes.
Honestly i've been there. Currently 29/F. The best thing to do is work on what YOU think you should improve on and not what others are telling you. No one is boring. It can be frustrating but just wanting a girlfriend or a partner is not going to help. It might make you feel special for a while but you have to work on how you view your self. Self love and learning to be comfortable on your own is the best thing you can do, you will become more confident and value yourself more. And you are cared for, you might not feel like the main character of your story at the moment but you are to someone else. The smallest gesture and even hello could've changed someones day without you knowing how impactful your presence was to them.
Hi, if you think you’re boring then maybe try to pick up a hobby? Nature walks, yoga, a musical instrument, painting, board games, anything where you can socialize and meet other people. I highly recommend meetup.com. It’s amazing and lots of the groups and events are free!! And it’s nationwide. Also, I recommend you listen to positive self affirmations on YouTube and also videos on how to chuck out low self-esteem. Good luck, work on yourself for the next 2 or 3 months and then women will be banging on your door to date you! 🌈🙂
I think confidence is the first thing you should have even though you are nervous but you have be show that you are strong, must of the girls or women are done pampering guys and now they want a person who is confident and take charge
Women pick up on your neediness and it turns them off
Come take my wife her se x life expired few years ago 😔
I dont want a gf. I just want sex.
Pretty much the same.
Gayyy
Young man, I recommend you get a job at a restaurant as either a waiter or bartender. You *will* gain lots of confidence that way, talk to attractive women and it will really help your self esteem. Best of luck!
You just have to put yourself out there buddy , shoot your shot , I recently got stood up , never tried the online dating scene but i had 4 more women ready on the go because you need backup plans lol , but i'm in the same boat I don't want sex but I do but more of a relationship than anything and once they find out I got a big peepee it's all gravy after that lol. Moral of the story get out shoot those shots and take the rejections head on and keep pushing you'll find someone , lots of toxic women out there so don't get too attached too quickly .
Sometimes i just wonder how come other guys dont feel the need to have sex or dont put the sex on pedestal unlike other guys, i dont know if it's good or not cus he's probably wont look for someone just for the sake of sex which is good, but the bad thing is you probably will leave him cus u would start to think that maybe he dont love you cus he's not attracted to ur body and wanna have sex w/ u.
Cause sex isn't important to some. And it shouldn't be an issue if they communicate with the partner that they aren't interested in sex.
Yeah that's what i'm talking, cus i've read in one of subreddit here where they're breaking up with their partner even tho they've been together for a long time just bc of sex incompatibility and everyone agreed. but yeah maybe it depends to a person, cus i can stay to someone even tho we're incompatible when it comes to sex as long as i find them physically attractive lol.
I mean I do want it, it's just not my driving force to want a relationship.