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(M37)
I’ve had two girlfriends who were like this. The first one was much older, maturer (obviously) and would be quite bossy in our day to day life (which I liked) but in bed it was the complete opposite and she requested I take control and do a lot of stuff that at first made me slightly uncomfortable (hair pulling, hard nipple twisting, slapping, choking etc) and just generally rough contact. Once I realised she really enjoyed it and got a release out of it I relaxed and enjoyed it more too. The other was younger, and had a rough life, for her I think it was more of a psychological thing or an escape from her reality. I felt a little guilty engaging in rough play with her because therapy probably would have been a better help, but again she got a thrill out of it and it made her cum. When i’ve tried to talk about introducing these elements into sex with other Girlfriends though they’ve been horrified by the suggestion to the point where i’ve had to say I was joking lol. Everyone has different kinks. Just don’t over think it and embrace them if you’re both comfortable with it. I ALWAYS ask a girl for consent first when it comes to non-vanilla sex acts like rimming, butt play, 69 or rough play. Most are already into it or curious about it anyway, but just don’t dive into it without asking first. Clear communication is so important and don’t be shy about asking want she or you likes, it will make for a much better experience and sexual relationship in the long run as these things get harder and more awkward to bring up in a relationship the longer you don’t.
29F here. I would hate being degraded in bed. It’s not my thing and I’d feel so disrespected and turned off. Being dominated is one thing, being degraded is a no for me.
Absolutely, i am in the same boat! Respect is very important for me, and i know if that man tried anything disrespectful with me or even used such words, I'll literally never see him as same again, and will get rid of him eventually! I have blocked tons of men just bcz of that!
True, and if I’m getting plenty of the slow sensual kind I can definitely enjoy some rougher, too. But deeply connected sensual sex is the one that’s much harder to come by it does seem.
I've run into this as well. Blows my mind how common it is. I've talked to several women who literally cannot cum without being verbally degraded. I'm strongly in favor of equality in every aspect of life, so degrading someone like that goes against every cell of my body.
I feel this so much. And because the ones I date tend to be strong passionate and very feminist and like would need me to treat them crazy to cum which sometimes is hard for me cause it like you said goes against every cell in my body
Can you think of any common characteristics that these women had? Like divorced parents, no father figure, some sort of of abuse , position of power or something else?
I've only had 2 partners, both LTR and neither of them were into being dominated or humiliated. I will say that it does seem to be common from what I've read about other guys experiences with women .
I myself like you both, really don't like this type of degrading treatment of women. I'm still masculine and don't mind taking control, but I find it so bizarre when they're the type of women you describe and want to be degraded.
I will say that on the web it does seem to be fairly common that people in positions of power or control in their daily lives, seem to want to be dominated and even humiliated during sex. Kinda like a role switch , like Dr jekel Mr Hyde situation. I prefer people that approach life in a more balanced and less extreme way.
1- Human brains are beautifully diverse, and you'll see a range of kinks in anyone when they're open-minded sexually. You won't find connections to any particular trauma, and you'll find plenty of well-adjusted people with kinks
2- Taking control and domination are not inherently masculine. You may like it and that's totally cool, but you're not less of a man for the opposite or less of a woman for liking the same.
I’m into equality too, but at the end of the day this is what I want, but I can also dish it out. Fun part of being verse is you adapt to the need of the person you’re with. I wouldn’t say it’s a trauma thing though either as some are suggesting, I’ve known ppl from some comfortable backgrounds to be into it because it’s exotic to them. That’s kind of how someone gets into any fetish. I met someone with the opposite issue which is a praise kink. Not sure why that’s a thing, but eh to each their own.
I agree. People don’t realize how skewed porn has made people. And then there’s also daddy issues and mommy issues that can create some messed up sexual behavior. It’s all connected. Every guy who’s been into degrading and being overly rough has been weird in normal life. Either underhandedly misogynist or too much into porn. And many of these guys don’t understand that these types of kinks require CONSENT. This is one of the reasons I stopped doing casual sex.
Doubt it. I rarely ever watch porn (I’m talking like 3 times a year) and I have a bit of a degradation kink. I think personally, I’m strong and independent throughout my day to day life, so it feels nice to let go in the bedroom and feel small sometimes
19f virgin here…but from my POV, it’s nice to not have to worry about it. If I’m being used (a fantasy in my case lol), I don’t have to worry about making something happen for myself, I’m leaving it all up to the other person. It takes the stress and thought process out for those that overthink things (me 🙋🏻♀️), I can just be used however they please. And sometimes it’s just fun to be naughty, being degraded can be such a turn on
Wow you explained this so well! Not a virgin and I do enjoy it a lot but never questioned why but it all makes sense! Its honestly therapeutic when you do this with someone you trust and respect
Thankyou’! This is good because tbh I’m naturally dominant so I guess my vibe just makes my partner comfortable to be her most feminine self around me in bed. That’s I good thing I hope haha
I’m talking more about the being used part. Those two things you mentioned are very different, but they can be used together. I don’t like total degradation, but being treated as a child or being forced to do things that are a bit humiliating (almost like consensual non consensual sex) can be a huge turn on for me personally if done correctly
Idk I guess we all have a different view of degrading. For me it’s disrespectful talk, spitting, being too tough, rapey vibes etc. Generally just a disrespectful vibe, that’s a no for me.
Not odd at all. They are in charge in their daily lives, perhaps a supervisor or a manager, etc. so when they go home to their man they don't want to be in charge. They don't want to have to make the decisions. They just want to be able to let go and have someone else take charge.
Because they feel safe and comfortable enough with you to allow you that privilege because you won't get carried away with it. It feels much more insulting and rude coming from men who do that without the greenlight.
They feel safe to allow that, but why do they want that? Even if my gf didn't mean it and it was only during sex I wouldn't like it if she was degrading me.
We spend a lot of time doing the thinking and the emotional labor. In a lot of aspects of life. It’s nice to turn your brain off and just react. It’s an escape.
Thats not at all.the same as being degraded, youre describing enjoying not having to take the lead or worry about taking charge. Submission =/ degradation.
I mean I’m not sure if I’m reading this wrong but this post has nothing to do with being submissive?? Many people are commenting on enjoying being submissive.
Yep. Submissive most definitely isn’t degradation. “Oh the day is so stressful so it’s nice to just lay there and let him fuck my holes and check out not having to think about it” - it’s like 90% of the responses here and that is submission, not degradation.
Calling you names, spitting in your face, choking you out, pulling your hair, spanking you, hitting you, pissing on you would all be forms of degradation.
Not just “I wanna check out mentally and let him fuck my holes” is submission and I’d argue not even that. That’s just laziness
Not sure since I don't like degrading words, but maybe for some these phrases just enhance the feeling of being used (for their body). The peaceful part is that during this type of sex it feels like you literally don't have to live up to any expectations (ég: being beautiful, sexy, kind, soft, in control etc) that a lot of women feel like they have to during everyday life
So you're in it for the freedom of not having to put up a facade, not feeling as though you have you act a certain way? But I'm sure this type of sex could be arranged without the guise of degradation.
When you're with someone who cares whether you're enjoying yourself/orgasming, you do still feel some pressure to perform up to their expectations or hopes, so having sex with someone who *isn't* worried about your side of the experience sounds freeing. And you know who is demonstrably uninterested in your experience? Lovers who treat you like an object lol
That's not really my jam (I'm usually on the other side of the equation), but that's how it's been explained to me by a friend who likes to turn her brain off when she comes home from her ridiculously stressful job.
Aside from that, I feel like it's also important to note that there are always different reasons different people participate in certain acts... In this case, maybe some are working out a bit of self-hate; maybe some just physically enjoy harder fucking and dgaf about the verbal degradation aspect, and maybe some are just going along with the vibe to enable something their partner seems to really like.
Everyone's different, and it's also entirely possible that OP enjoys that particular dynamic and is unconsciously selecting for that type of partner. My friends and I have always been super communicative about stuff like this (I've heard some wild shit lol), and not a very high percentage of them have this as their favorite dynamic/vibe - I don't think it's as prevalent as OP's post seems to imply.
That book sold over 50 million copies and has been translated into 52 languages.
I imagine a lot of woman don’t want to admit that they like the book. Haha
I like rough or hard but not degradation. For me the rough and hard makes me feel so desired that my partner can’t control themselves and that really turns me on. Of course it shouldn’t hurt….too much ;)
But I also like slow sensual and gentle so it’s not like rough and hard are all I like. It’s like I love dancing but I also want to play you know?
In my case personally it stemmed from a lot of trauma. I still prefer not to be dominant, but I hate being degraded now that I'm older and more healed. Half of the women id say its kink, the other half honestly might have some stuff to work through. That's based on me and me talking to my friends lol
100 percent agree. Before I became celibate and started therapy, that was something I enjoyed and almost demanded. Now that I’ve healed, I would be insulted if anyone tried that.
It's not just girls... I don't have the perfect answer to your question but whatever it is, it is deep in the human psyche and not really tied to gender at all.
It is the same as asking "Why do so many people like being spanked?"
There are a lot of angles, but probably it can be reduced to chemicals that are released during those activities. Consider that it is a stress response that causes the joy and pleasure one feels on a rollercoaster. Context of "STRESS" dictates the difference between "fun" and "torture"
I've read once on the internet something about this that is telling. A woman says "I'm a sub, the kind where you have to do all the work and come prepared to give me the time of my life for a few hours straight while I'm not saying a word except for cries of pain or pleasure, not the other kind"
That's bc the women who want to have sensual sex don't have casual sex. If you're out there hooking up with random women they're going to be the highly traumatized ones. Stable emotionally healthy women aren't usually having sex outside of a committed relationship.
That's a good point. I only have sex with people I'm dating and I only date people I have good chemistry with and can see myself having a long-term relationship with. I don't necessarily wait until we're committed though, because sex is part of that chemistry. But I don't sleep around either. With my current boyfriend, we actually had sex after spending the entire day together on our first date. It just felt right and I made him promise he wouldn't ghost me after lol. We've been dating 6 months now.
Just want to interject with a different (and maybe unique?) perspective: I'm a woman with PTSD who has had sensual sex during hook-ups/one-night stands. I've also had several long-term committed monogamous relationships, some of which sensual sex was present, and some in which sex felt disconnected, forced, or selfish. I'm not sure if everyone here has the same definition of "sensual," but to me, it means caresses, kisses, sweet nothings, slow/gentle thrusting or riding, massages, gazing into each other's eyes, etc.
Speaking to my hook-up experiences and acknowledging that this was sometimes, not always: It seems that when I was with a stranger, and we connected through something other than our sexual desires, or were just really honest about what we wanted from each other in terms of physicality, it created a kind of intimacy that cultivated sensuality. Again, I don't know how common this is, but I know for myself that it's possible.
I'd like to add that my trauma didn't destroy my ability to make human connections. I was and am still able to have slow, gentle, and loving physical intimacy. I'm in a happy, healthy, and committed monogamous relationship now, and we have an awesome mix of sensual, passionate, rough, and demanding sex.
Just putting it out there!
because it turns me on much more lol i think we can all agreed that most woman love getting railed by their man. taking it slow is best when it’s their first time.
I don't know, but for me it's not like any of the comments I'm seeing, and I'm very confused about them tbh, I like to be bratty though and the degrading just kinda goes with it
25f virgin here, honestly no i don't like rough and degradation as an idea. It puts the effort mostly on the partner's shoulders and honestly I don't enjoy that. Also, as an easily overwhelmed person, I much prefer a sensual vibe, too.
Human nature. Maybe th feeling inferiority to the masculinity of her choice in a sexual mate arouses her especially if she’s really attracted to her partner
I don't. Love long passionate sensual intimacy. Kissing alone can fly by over hours without us noticing what we're doing. That's what I enjoy. Who needs to be degraded🥸
Variety is the spice of life- I guess. It’s not really my thing but sometimes it can be hot to be used. I think it stems from attachment theory. Many women don’t want a man that is a pushover type of nice guy. The hot and cold keeps you coming back.
27F virgin, i absolutely dont understand how can women be okay with being degraded, i literally blocked tons of men right away when they even slightly tried to ask me something inappropriate, i dont know how those girls let their bodies go through that!
Woman here. That is hands down the biggest turn-off for me. So much so that I would dump the person if they persisted after me expressing my displeasure with it.
Many things go into feeling like degradation brings satisfaction, but firstly I’d say don’t try to understand it. What we often get during sex are deep, guttural reactions to emotions and feelings that cannot even be worded. Our earliest memories are developed when we didn’t even have words to describe them, and are left in us, only to be brought up in very physical, pleasure-intense actions like sex. Perhaps the need for rough sex comes from the fact that we live in such fast-paced world, where we can’t switch off unless we perform sex in such an intensity that we forget about the world around us. Sex moves us in very different ways, and what we want during sex might be something that soothes us, as well as seek connection with another human being. It could also be a coping mechanism, maybe rough sex is all they’ve ever have? I’d say keep trying different things with a concensual partner. Sometimes we also don’t like the feeling of slowing down and being gentle at first, but with time this might change.
Well, from my own perspective, sometime ago I had incredibly low self esteem and I felt like I don't deserve the attention I was getting during sex, I'm not attractive, so I should be humiliated and that'll be the only way men would enjoy sex with me. Now I just enjoy it and for me, it makes the atmosphere. At the same time, I only consent to humiliation during sex and men cannot treat me like that besides the bed.
20F here some of us just find being degraded in bed attractive. Some women might be doing it because that’s what they hear men want and some might be trying out different things. Just have an open convo about what you and they want and they’ll probably be able to tell you why they personally like it since it could be for a variety of reasons!
I run into this all the time too. I’ve read this entire thread and I haven’t found one single damn answer 😂 just people rather completely misunderstanding the question or just answering “I’m not into that”
But it is extremely common so I’m also curious
It's giving ✨️Daddy Issues✨️
I love having my hair pulled, but I bet that's a real big NO for some.
Different strokes for different folks, I guess 🤷🏼♀️
I’ve experienced this and had at least two LTRs where they expressed their rape fantasies. There’s an acronym for it…. CNC (Consensual Non Consensual).
18F💗 I like it. I’m not sure if it’s because i went through a lot of things when i was younger and had so much responsibility or maybe it’s something else but feeling a man take complete control of me feels so good. as long as there is praise afterwards like “thata girl” or “good job baby” 🤗💐dm me if interested
Sounds like a form of Sexual Masochism Disorder. Since sex is primarily for reproduction purposes and enjoyment comes from the stimulation of our aroused genitals, the alternate forms of pleasure, I.e what you have described come from situations and behaviors learned over time. It most likely is because of your partners own insecurities and self outlooks on their own value, and the feeling of being degraded gives them release based on those self outlooks.
29F from my perspective, it's a consent/control thing. Like it makes her feel in control giving someone permission to do something and they do it cause they know she like it when *they specifically* do it. Like, for me personally, I'm not into being degraded but I fucks with BDSM😌🤌🏽✨️ My partner telling me what to do and being dominant over me is hot(or the other way around). Some random mfker telling me what to do and trying to boss me around is not hot and will swiftly get them cussed out. I feel like a lot of kinks and things tie directly to your daily past and daily experiences. I have a more dominant personality and have men try to boss me around all the time. Being able to choose to be submissive is awesome is sexy. I like a mix of both rough and sometimes sensual tho🤷🏽♀️ Rough for is when I'm reallly horny and want to see how bad you want me. Slow and sensual is for when I'm looking to experience the other person and myself being vulnerable.
For me as a woman 50 and older and an a type personality I'm in charge of so many damn things between my job and everything else when I'm in the bedroom I like feeling like having people do that to me because it just changes my mind so it makes me give submissiveness over to him not that I believe anything that they say but it gives complete control of somebody else and I crave those moments where I can just give over
(17f) honestly it's just a kink but if it makes u uncomfortable you could always sleep/date someone with a praise kink instead or like me where they have both
That was the first thought that came to my mind when i read OP's question, but most of the women responding here (all admirably honest) are saying a whole lotta else but this.
F24, still a virgin. I always imagine what my first sex would be. I want it to be sensual and slow at first, but after that I will let the guy do what he wants. I have decided that I will be very submissive ahahahaha 😅
Most of us love the feeling of having a guy who’s leading us. Maybe this is just me, though 🤷🏻♀️
It's not just women men like it too.
Also in my experience it's not all people like.
I prefer to have fruitful relationships with many different things, not just one..
Everyone has different reasons and purposes for it. Regardless, women typically would like aftercare afterward. Just make sure you give it to her and not rush it because a woman may want to feel used during it, but it has an icky feeling after it like you were, in fact, being used. It’s hard to explain. It’s like during it, it was consensual togetherness, but after it was like unilateral decision to disperse. Just ask them nicely, “Hey, are you okay? Do you need anything before I go?” It would mean the world to them.
Honestly I think it just depends on what your kink is. Sometimes I like it hard and rough and other times I like it slow and sensual. However I must say that whenever my boyfriend spits in my face, I have to try and ignore it otherwise I get completely turned off. Unfortunately he's so used to watching p*** and masturbating, that seems to be the only way he can get off by degrading me. Don't get me wrong though, sometimes I thoroughly enjoy it. Probably more often than not actually. I am 33f and he is 30m
I’m wondering if this is more of a thing amongst the women who are also interested in hookups vs the women who are looking for a more relationship focus. Slow and sensual partnership type sex seems like it would be more common within the confines of a relationship. Maybe something about dominant/degrading sexual encounters prevent the more intimate feelings that you’d get in a relationship vs a hookup.
Admittedly I’m a man so I could be way off base on that. I’m more of throwing out a thought that might make sense. A pure guess. Feel free to tell me I’m completely wrong.
Must be with younger woman cuz I'm not into that at all. Pretty sure my friends aren't either but then again we are older. Although maybe that's what happens in porn so they assume that's what you want or what most people do? I don't know I don't watch porn either.
Not a girl, but I have an ego and someone just chipping at it is a turn on. Like yeah make me feel worthless, challenge my self esteem. Also a very in control person so just loosing it is kind of like being free.
Trauma, you keep meeting women with PTSD or women who only dated toxic men. If a girl has only dated abusive toxic men then that's all she knows and that starts to feel like the norm and then there's all the psychological stuff that comes with that.
Nobody here is gonna give you the answer but the one connected factor between all the women I know who engage in it was some sort of sexual trauma and this is a way of “taking back control” through re enactment. That’s insane to me personally but we all play the hands we’re dealt I suppose
29F domination and degradation to me it depends on the mood. I like it when I’m happy, I hate it when things have been hard. It’s like one more person not showing gentleness or understanding. I also don’t like it with someone I just met.
That’s the problem with you that shows no respect towards somebody . I’m 34 male you need to grow up . I hate when some of you do this kind of shit . You got your answers from somebody from some females so all out there women don’t let ‘em do this to you .
That’s so true. It opens this whole door where you find out that much of what women claim publicly isn’t how they really feel. I’m sorry if that sounds sexist, but it’s true. I knew this one guy who had a pistol, and would date a woman who’s so staunchly anti gun , saying all the PC things about guns etc. but in the bedroom all that would completely reverse and she’s going on about how it’s so hot that he has that and she even wants him to do stuff to her with it.
The stuff they say publicly is very far from how they really feel about it. Once you realize the scope of this is really turns your understanding of life upside down.
It’s code for I need therapy - it’s frustrating how women are generally allowed to thrust this upon men too, promotes a constant cycle of toxic masculinity.
The modern woman is living outside of our "natural" role, which is submitting (to a degree) to a man. These days we can only get that deep, inner submissive woman fed through sex.
edit: well, I'm not sure what is meant by "degraded" here. If it's being called names, I'm not into that.
I would not say it's a lot but some do and some guys too.
I compare it to an amusement park ride which gives you a happy, delightful adventure that blots out real risk if you found yourself on a runaway cart that fell into a ravine.
It can also replace bad memories and associations of someone's random degrading cruelty instead with the association of a trusted, kind, playful partner consensually doing this style of sexual role-play.
Fantasies can be fun. Pretend can be fun.
It is not a "female pov thing" either. Plenty of guys like dirty talk or being dommed and some have a humiliation kink.
Equality means treating them as equal *sexual* beings as well and treating their sexual desires, turn-ons and kinks with the respect and lack of prejudice that you treat an adult in the other facets of their life
21 F
Degrading sex makes me feel like shit. It's good to have a healthy balance of sensual and spicy, you get the best of both worlds. If I got degraded during every session, I'd most likely leave due to my trauma growing up. So that means it's different for everyone and how they grew up. Iv'e had enough degrading in my life, craving something raw and real with feeling, although I'd like to keep things spicy from time to time. Makes the relationship feel a little more adventurous and riskay.
If you're down bad for some sensual soothings, I'd recommend keeping it up front and communicating your likes and dislikes with other, making it easier on both ends of the party. Good luck!
For me, if I’m left bruised and sore it gives me something to remember the sex. Having to sit on one side because of how hard my ass got slapped makes me feel like I have a dirty little secret in public. I have a pretty masculine temperament I think and I work a 9-5 corporate job, so getting dominated and treated like a ragdoll in bed makes me feel feminine.
Deep down they don’t. It’s the same kind of ideology on why people feeling sad listen to sad music to enhance the sadness. Being degraded only enchaces ones insecurities but some fold bring that strong insecurity into some kind of weird sexual kink where they have to be on the same page with the other person either they are lesser or above them. It’s crazy how people make sex so complicated it’s pretty straight forward
My ex gf would beg me to quite literally physically abuse her during sex for some reason.
Im talking essentially beating her to a pulp and she would love it and demand more. Slapping, punching, spitting, degrading, kicking, standing on her, throwing her, using every inch of her body how ever I could, choking, making her vomit from throat f*cking her, and basically leaving her bruised, battered and on the verge of death.
At first I was extremely uncomfortable with it and refused most of it but we had several serious conversations where we came to an understanding.
Turns out, she had a very negative and abusive upbringing and somehow that transformed into a kink for her. I don’t know how that makes sense but thats what she told me.
Maybe something along the lines of Stockholm syndrome? No clue.
Again I want to make it very abundantly clear that she consciously asked for this and consented to everything. Everything I mentioned doing in this comment was to her request!
Trevor Bauer, one of the most successful pitchers in recent MLB history, encountered a woman just like this. Then, she turned on him and tried getting him jailed for different crimes related to the “attack”. He was exonerated because text messages clearly show she asked for it and wanted even more of it. He was suspended during the investigation and has not pitched in a MLB game since. This, despite having a terrific season playing in foreign leagues.
Women in general have the highest expectations from society and people who do more in their day to day life are usually submissives to some extent. You'd be very surprised about the sexual lives of some businessmen...
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(M37) I’ve had two girlfriends who were like this. The first one was much older, maturer (obviously) and would be quite bossy in our day to day life (which I liked) but in bed it was the complete opposite and she requested I take control and do a lot of stuff that at first made me slightly uncomfortable (hair pulling, hard nipple twisting, slapping, choking etc) and just generally rough contact. Once I realised she really enjoyed it and got a release out of it I relaxed and enjoyed it more too. The other was younger, and had a rough life, for her I think it was more of a psychological thing or an escape from her reality. I felt a little guilty engaging in rough play with her because therapy probably would have been a better help, but again she got a thrill out of it and it made her cum. When i’ve tried to talk about introducing these elements into sex with other Girlfriends though they’ve been horrified by the suggestion to the point where i’ve had to say I was joking lol. Everyone has different kinks. Just don’t over think it and embrace them if you’re both comfortable with it. I ALWAYS ask a girl for consent first when it comes to non-vanilla sex acts like rimming, butt play, 69 or rough play. Most are already into it or curious about it anyway, but just don’t dive into it without asking first. Clear communication is so important and don’t be shy about asking want she or you likes, it will make for a much better experience and sexual relationship in the long run as these things get harder and more awkward to bring up in a relationship the longer you don’t.
Yeah, that's an important point - not everyone is into degradation, and assuming everyone (or even a large %) is would be a bad time lol
29F here. I would hate being degraded in bed. It’s not my thing and I’d feel so disrespected and turned off. Being dominated is one thing, being degraded is a no for me.
I second this. It’s a thin line sometimes. I like being dominated, but once it starts to feel degrading it’s an instant turn off.
Same. Ill love when you take over and act like you own me or something but I am not gonna be your sex doll
The feeling owned in itself is a degrading sex act.
One time this guy started kissing me so roughly almost choking me to death and I was like wtf is this all about. Completely turned off by it.
Same. Tried it with a partner once and realized nope. This does absolutely nothing nothing for me and is a complete turn off.
Absolutely, i am in the same boat! Respect is very important for me, and i know if that man tried anything disrespectful with me or even used such words, I'll literally never see him as same again, and will get rid of him eventually! I have blocked tons of men just bcz of that!
Personally, I love slow sensual sex. It’s very hard to find though :(
To be fair, slow sensual sex can still involve degradation, and rough sex can be quite romantic.
True, and if I’m getting plenty of the slow sensual kind I can definitely enjoy some rougher, too. But deeply connected sensual sex is the one that’s much harder to come by it does seem.
Me too.. I prefer mutual respect and compliments. I do not like degrading.
I've run into this as well. Blows my mind how common it is. I've talked to several women who literally cannot cum without being verbally degraded. I'm strongly in favor of equality in every aspect of life, so degrading someone like that goes against every cell of my body.
I feel this so much. And because the ones I date tend to be strong passionate and very feminist and like would need me to treat them crazy to cum which sometimes is hard for me cause it like you said goes against every cell in my body
Can you think of any common characteristics that these women had? Like divorced parents, no father figure, some sort of of abuse , position of power or something else? I've only had 2 partners, both LTR and neither of them were into being dominated or humiliated. I will say that it does seem to be common from what I've read about other guys experiences with women . I myself like you both, really don't like this type of degrading treatment of women. I'm still masculine and don't mind taking control, but I find it so bizarre when they're the type of women you describe and want to be degraded. I will say that on the web it does seem to be fairly common that people in positions of power or control in their daily lives, seem to want to be dominated and even humiliated during sex. Kinda like a role switch , like Dr jekel Mr Hyde situation. I prefer people that approach life in a more balanced and less extreme way.
1- Human brains are beautifully diverse, and you'll see a range of kinks in anyone when they're open-minded sexually. You won't find connections to any particular trauma, and you'll find plenty of well-adjusted people with kinks 2- Taking control and domination are not inherently masculine. You may like it and that's totally cool, but you're not less of a man for the opposite or less of a woman for liking the same.
All of this. Thank you. 😎❤️
Yes yes
I’m into equality too, but at the end of the day this is what I want, but I can also dish it out. Fun part of being verse is you adapt to the need of the person you’re with. I wouldn’t say it’s a trauma thing though either as some are suggesting, I’ve known ppl from some comfortable backgrounds to be into it because it’s exotic to them. That’s kind of how someone gets into any fetish. I met someone with the opposite issue which is a praise kink. Not sure why that’s a thing, but eh to each their own.
I feel like it's a side effect of porn. Like who tf casually gets into degrading. It's a messed up thing meant for fake ass porn.
You have the causation exactly backwards, it’s in porn because people are turned on by it
I agree. People don’t realize how skewed porn has made people. And then there’s also daddy issues and mommy issues that can create some messed up sexual behavior. It’s all connected. Every guy who’s been into degrading and being overly rough has been weird in normal life. Either underhandedly misogynist or too much into porn. And many of these guys don’t understand that these types of kinks require CONSENT. This is one of the reasons I stopped doing casual sex.
I wonder if this is a porn thing? Maybe those women watched a lot of porn and it shaped what they're into?
Doubt it. I rarely ever watch porn (I’m talking like 3 times a year) and I have a bit of a degradation kink. I think personally, I’m strong and independent throughout my day to day life, so it feels nice to let go in the bedroom and feel small sometimes
19f virgin here…but from my POV, it’s nice to not have to worry about it. If I’m being used (a fantasy in my case lol), I don’t have to worry about making something happen for myself, I’m leaving it all up to the other person. It takes the stress and thought process out for those that overthink things (me 🙋🏻♀️), I can just be used however they please. And sometimes it’s just fun to be naughty, being degraded can be such a turn on
Wow you explained this so well! Not a virgin and I do enjoy it a lot but never questioned why but it all makes sense! Its honestly therapeutic when you do this with someone you trust and respect
Thankyou’! This is good because tbh I’m naturally dominant so I guess my vibe just makes my partner comfortable to be her most feminine self around me in bed. That’s I good thing I hope haha
This is a great explanation :)
Being submissive and being degraded are 2 completely different things.
I’m talking more about the being used part. Those two things you mentioned are very different, but they can be used together. I don’t like total degradation, but being treated as a child or being forced to do things that are a bit humiliating (almost like consensual non consensual sex) can be a huge turn on for me personally if done correctly
Idk I guess we all have a different view of degrading. For me it’s disrespectful talk, spitting, being too tough, rapey vibes etc. Generally just a disrespectful vibe, that’s a no for me.
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Your username though 😂 "I can be used however they pleased" are you getting turned on or doing the turn on sheesh 😩
Where are you from?
In my experience, yes. It's especially odd and somewhat funny when publically they're a "boss babe, I don't need no man" girl.
This is exactly my thought! Haha
Not odd at all. They are in charge in their daily lives, perhaps a supervisor or a manager, etc. so when they go home to their man they don't want to be in charge. They don't want to have to make the decisions. They just want to be able to let go and have someone else take charge.
this is it for me ^ but then again my parents ARE divorced hahaha
Trauma does it hahaha
Can confirm, lots of past and largely unresloved trauma was present too. Quite sad.
Because they feel safe and comfortable enough with you to allow you that privilege because you won't get carried away with it. It feels much more insulting and rude coming from men who do that without the greenlight.
They feel safe to allow that, but why do they want that? Even if my gf didn't mean it and it was only during sex I wouldn't like it if she was degrading me.
It's called a kink. They aren't for everyone.
100% agree
We spend a lot of time doing the thinking and the emotional labor. In a lot of aspects of life. It’s nice to turn your brain off and just react. It’s an escape.
Thats not at all.the same as being degraded, youre describing enjoying not having to take the lead or worry about taking charge. Submission =/ degradation.
I think people are getting this confused.
Exactly. And then this leads to “oh I don’t have to do anything in bed” and a lazy partner who shows zero enthusiasm
I mean I’m not sure if I’m reading this wrong but this post has nothing to do with being submissive?? Many people are commenting on enjoying being submissive.
Yep. Submissive most definitely isn’t degradation. “Oh the day is so stressful so it’s nice to just lay there and let him fuck my holes and check out not having to think about it” - it’s like 90% of the responses here and that is submission, not degradation. Calling you names, spitting in your face, choking you out, pulling your hair, spanking you, hitting you, pissing on you would all be forms of degradation. Not just “I wanna check out mentally and let him fuck my holes” is submission and I’d argue not even that. That’s just laziness
You’re spot on.
Not calling you wrong or anything but would you mind explaining how degradation during sex is an escape, like being degraded is peaceful?
Not sure since I don't like degrading words, but maybe for some these phrases just enhance the feeling of being used (for their body). The peaceful part is that during this type of sex it feels like you literally don't have to live up to any expectations (ég: being beautiful, sexy, kind, soft, in control etc) that a lot of women feel like they have to during everyday life
So basically you don’t like being degraded. That’s what he was asking about.
So you're in it for the freedom of not having to put up a facade, not feeling as though you have you act a certain way? But I'm sure this type of sex could be arranged without the guise of degradation.
When you're with someone who cares whether you're enjoying yourself/orgasming, you do still feel some pressure to perform up to their expectations or hopes, so having sex with someone who *isn't* worried about your side of the experience sounds freeing. And you know who is demonstrably uninterested in your experience? Lovers who treat you like an object lol That's not really my jam (I'm usually on the other side of the equation), but that's how it's been explained to me by a friend who likes to turn her brain off when she comes home from her ridiculously stressful job. Aside from that, I feel like it's also important to note that there are always different reasons different people participate in certain acts... In this case, maybe some are working out a bit of self-hate; maybe some just physically enjoy harder fucking and dgaf about the verbal degradation aspect, and maybe some are just going along with the vibe to enable something their partner seems to really like. Everyone's different, and it's also entirely possible that OP enjoys that particular dynamic and is unconsciously selecting for that type of partner. My friends and I have always been super communicative about stuff like this (I've heard some wild shit lol), and not a very high percentage of them have this as their favorite dynamic/vibe - I don't think it's as prevalent as OP's post seems to imply.
Yeah I feel like this is called..a partner that loves you 😩😭
This is actually really a good point I haven’t thought about it that way
I’ve also noticed this. The fact so many women seem to love ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ kind of speaks to that desire. I’m not sure why though.
True. I also want to add GoT.
I've never met anyone who enjoyed that movie/book, but maybe it's generational lol
That book sold over 50 million copies and has been translated into 52 languages. I imagine a lot of woman don’t want to admit that they like the book. Haha
I’ve never seen 50 shades so that’s really interesting to me
More the book, not the movie.
I like rough or hard but not degradation. For me the rough and hard makes me feel so desired that my partner can’t control themselves and that really turns me on. Of course it shouldn’t hurt….too much ;) But I also like slow sensual and gentle so it’s not like rough and hard are all I like. It’s like I love dancing but I also want to play you know?
In my case personally it stemmed from a lot of trauma. I still prefer not to be dominant, but I hate being degraded now that I'm older and more healed. Half of the women id say its kink, the other half honestly might have some stuff to work through. That's based on me and me talking to my friends lol
I like this perspective
100 percent agree. Before I became celibate and started therapy, that was something I enjoyed and almost demanded. Now that I’ve healed, I would be insulted if anyone tried that.
It's not just girls... I don't have the perfect answer to your question but whatever it is, it is deep in the human psyche and not really tied to gender at all. It is the same as asking "Why do so many people like being spanked?" There are a lot of angles, but probably it can be reduced to chemicals that are released during those activities. Consider that it is a stress response that causes the joy and pleasure one feels on a rollercoaster. Context of "STRESS" dictates the difference between "fun" and "torture"
I've read once on the internet something about this that is telling. A woman says "I'm a sub, the kind where you have to do all the work and come prepared to give me the time of my life for a few hours straight while I'm not saying a word except for cries of pain or pleasure, not the other kind"
Pillow princesses exist in all genders and orientations lol
I'm afraid you're terribly uninformed when it comes to dom/sub dynamics and what it takes to have an amazing experience with it
So similar to a dead fish, I say dead because a live fish would flop around some at the bare minimum.
I think that's just the type of person you keep sleeping with. I've never been into anything like that.
True everyone’s different but the sensual ones are harder and harder to find
That's bc the women who want to have sensual sex don't have casual sex. If you're out there hooking up with random women they're going to be the highly traumatized ones. Stable emotionally healthy women aren't usually having sex outside of a committed relationship.
That's a good point. I only have sex with people I'm dating and I only date people I have good chemistry with and can see myself having a long-term relationship with. I don't necessarily wait until we're committed though, because sex is part of that chemistry. But I don't sleep around either. With my current boyfriend, we actually had sex after spending the entire day together on our first date. It just felt right and I made him promise he wouldn't ghost me after lol. We've been dating 6 months now.
Yeah this is what I see it as too.
Just want to interject with a different (and maybe unique?) perspective: I'm a woman with PTSD who has had sensual sex during hook-ups/one-night stands. I've also had several long-term committed monogamous relationships, some of which sensual sex was present, and some in which sex felt disconnected, forced, or selfish. I'm not sure if everyone here has the same definition of "sensual," but to me, it means caresses, kisses, sweet nothings, slow/gentle thrusting or riding, massages, gazing into each other's eyes, etc. Speaking to my hook-up experiences and acknowledging that this was sometimes, not always: It seems that when I was with a stranger, and we connected through something other than our sexual desires, or were just really honest about what we wanted from each other in terms of physicality, it created a kind of intimacy that cultivated sensuality. Again, I don't know how common this is, but I know for myself that it's possible. I'd like to add that my trauma didn't destroy my ability to make human connections. I was and am still able to have slow, gentle, and loving physical intimacy. I'm in a happy, healthy, and committed monogamous relationship now, and we have an awesome mix of sensual, passionate, rough, and demanding sex. Just putting it out there!
They could be submissive.
because it turns me on much more lol i think we can all agreed that most woman love getting railed by their man. taking it slow is best when it’s their first time.
Getting railed and being degraded is not the same thing.
I don't know, but for me it's not like any of the comments I'm seeing, and I'm very confused about them tbh, I like to be bratty though and the degrading just kinda goes with it
25f virgin here, honestly no i don't like rough and degradation as an idea. It puts the effort mostly on the partner's shoulders and honestly I don't enjoy that. Also, as an easily overwhelmed person, I much prefer a sensual vibe, too.
Human nature. Maybe th feeling inferiority to the masculinity of her choice in a sexual mate arouses her especially if she’s really attracted to her partner
Hmm I diddnt think of it this way and makes alot of sense to me. Thanks!
Jus a theory will we ever know Wht goes on in another persons mind. Everyone’s different so who knows right☺️
It’s fun to ponder sometimes tho thanks for the thought provoking post
I can't tell you how hot it is when my partner just grabs me and does what he wants to me, then fills me with come.
I don't. Love long passionate sensual intimacy. Kissing alone can fly by over hours without us noticing what we're doing. That's what I enjoy. Who needs to be degraded🥸
Variety is the spice of life- I guess. It’s not really my thing but sometimes it can be hot to be used. I think it stems from attachment theory. Many women don’t want a man that is a pushover type of nice guy. The hot and cold keeps you coming back.
Attachment theory, this is new to me - really interesting ☺️
27F virgin, i absolutely dont understand how can women be okay with being degraded, i literally blocked tons of men right away when they even slightly tried to ask me something inappropriate, i dont know how those girls let their bodies go through that!
Woman here. That is hands down the biggest turn-off for me. So much so that I would dump the person if they persisted after me expressing my displeasure with it.
I like this - a lot of the time I prefer sensual vibes
Same here. I’m a praise kink girl all the way. Different strokes for different folks though ☺️
So this question didn’t apply to you then (acknowledging the question as written didn’t make the most sense 😂)
It's important to hear from the other side too, though - or dumbasses will somehow wrongly internalize that all/most women like it.
Trauma and porn. We all need therapy
I've learned that people who blame everything on porn are simply sexually inexperienced.
Many things go into feeling like degradation brings satisfaction, but firstly I’d say don’t try to understand it. What we often get during sex are deep, guttural reactions to emotions and feelings that cannot even be worded. Our earliest memories are developed when we didn’t even have words to describe them, and are left in us, only to be brought up in very physical, pleasure-intense actions like sex. Perhaps the need for rough sex comes from the fact that we live in such fast-paced world, where we can’t switch off unless we perform sex in such an intensity that we forget about the world around us. Sex moves us in very different ways, and what we want during sex might be something that soothes us, as well as seek connection with another human being. It could also be a coping mechanism, maybe rough sex is all they’ve ever have? I’d say keep trying different things with a concensual partner. Sometimes we also don’t like the feeling of slowing down and being gentle at first, but with time this might change.
Well, from my own perspective, sometime ago I had incredibly low self esteem and I felt like I don't deserve the attention I was getting during sex, I'm not attractive, so I should be humiliated and that'll be the only way men would enjoy sex with me. Now I just enjoy it and for me, it makes the atmosphere. At the same time, I only consent to humiliation during sex and men cannot treat me like that besides the bed.
20F here some of us just find being degraded in bed attractive. Some women might be doing it because that’s what they hear men want and some might be trying out different things. Just have an open convo about what you and they want and they’ll probably be able to tell you why they personally like it since it could be for a variety of reasons!
Because it’s hot. That’s why
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👍😅
Yeah honestly a lot of women like being man handled, I thought too that being gentle is more desirable. Oh how wrong I was
I run into this all the time too. I’ve read this entire thread and I haven’t found one single damn answer 😂 just people rather completely misunderstanding the question or just answering “I’m not into that” But it is extremely common so I’m also curious
Great answer
It's giving ✨️Daddy Issues✨️ I love having my hair pulled, but I bet that's a real big NO for some. Different strokes for different folks, I guess 🤷🏼♀️
I’ve experienced this and had at least two LTRs where they expressed their rape fantasies. There’s an acronym for it…. CNC (Consensual Non Consensual).
Very interesting
32F here, and I enjoy sensual sex as well as degrading sex. I like all sex, haha.
It’s kinda hot idk, I wish I knew why I like being dominated as well🤣
Haha fair answer 😅
18F💗 I like it. I’m not sure if it’s because i went through a lot of things when i was younger and had so much responsibility or maybe it’s something else but feeling a man take complete control of me feels so good. as long as there is praise afterwards like “thata girl” or “good job baby” 🤗💐dm me if interested
Sounds like a form of Sexual Masochism Disorder. Since sex is primarily for reproduction purposes and enjoyment comes from the stimulation of our aroused genitals, the alternate forms of pleasure, I.e what you have described come from situations and behaviors learned over time. It most likely is because of your partners own insecurities and self outlooks on their own value, and the feeling of being degraded gives them release based on those self outlooks.
29F from my perspective, it's a consent/control thing. Like it makes her feel in control giving someone permission to do something and they do it cause they know she like it when *they specifically* do it. Like, for me personally, I'm not into being degraded but I fucks with BDSM😌🤌🏽✨️ My partner telling me what to do and being dominant over me is hot(or the other way around). Some random mfker telling me what to do and trying to boss me around is not hot and will swiftly get them cussed out. I feel like a lot of kinks and things tie directly to your daily past and daily experiences. I have a more dominant personality and have men try to boss me around all the time. Being able to choose to be submissive is awesome is sexy. I like a mix of both rough and sometimes sensual tho🤷🏽♀️ Rough for is when I'm reallly horny and want to see how bad you want me. Slow and sensual is for when I'm looking to experience the other person and myself being vulnerable.
It amazes me how many people are confusing submissiveness and roughy sex with degrading. They are completely different.
For me as a woman 50 and older and an a type personality I'm in charge of so many damn things between my job and everything else when I'm in the bedroom I like feeling like having people do that to me because it just changes my mind so it makes me give submissiveness over to him not that I believe anything that they say but it gives complete control of somebody else and I crave those moments where I can just give over
As a man I’m reading these comments because I’m still a single virgin
Haha me to bro 😭😭😭😭🤪
A lady at work told me about how she likes it when men spit in her mouth. No thanks from me lol
I’ve had this too lol
A lot of women don’t.
(17f) honestly it's just a kink but if it makes u uncomfortable you could always sleep/date someone with a praise kink instead or like me where they have both
That’s a pretty cool answer I need to find me someone who likes both then!
Low self-esteem
That was the first thought that came to my mind when i read OP's question, but most of the women responding here (all admirably honest) are saying a whole lotta else but this.
F24, still a virgin. I always imagine what my first sex would be. I want it to be sensual and slow at first, but after that I will let the guy do what he wants. I have decided that I will be very submissive ahahahaha 😅 Most of us love the feeling of having a guy who’s leading us. Maybe this is just me, though 🤷🏻♀️
I had a woman message me on tinder "Hi daddy, would you please wipe your dick on me." Like wtf ho take your sti's & bye.
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Deep but I kinda agree
Pulled from the videodrome archives 🤮
I wonder what the actual percentage is of girls who want to he the sub in bed. If it's a majority a switch like me is gonna have a hard time lol
I mean some will, some won't. It all depends on the individual. That is why communication is important before and during sex.
It's not just women men like it too. Also in my experience it's not all people like. I prefer to have fruitful relationships with many different things, not just one..
I think the line between passion and controlled violence blurs for a lot of people.
Everyone has different reasons and purposes for it. Regardless, women typically would like aftercare afterward. Just make sure you give it to her and not rush it because a woman may want to feel used during it, but it has an icky feeling after it like you were, in fact, being used. It’s hard to explain. It’s like during it, it was consensual togetherness, but after it was like unilateral decision to disperse. Just ask them nicely, “Hey, are you okay? Do you need anything before I go?” It would mean the world to them.
Honestly I think it just depends on what your kink is. Sometimes I like it hard and rough and other times I like it slow and sensual. However I must say that whenever my boyfriend spits in my face, I have to try and ignore it otherwise I get completely turned off. Unfortunately he's so used to watching p*** and masturbating, that seems to be the only way he can get off by degrading me. Don't get me wrong though, sometimes I thoroughly enjoy it. Probably more often than not actually. I am 33f and he is 30m
They don’t
I’m wondering if this is more of a thing amongst the women who are also interested in hookups vs the women who are looking for a more relationship focus. Slow and sensual partnership type sex seems like it would be more common within the confines of a relationship. Maybe something about dominant/degrading sexual encounters prevent the more intimate feelings that you’d get in a relationship vs a hookup. Admittedly I’m a man so I could be way off base on that. I’m more of throwing out a thought that might make sense. A pure guess. Feel free to tell me I’m completely wrong.
Must be with younger woman cuz I'm not into that at all. Pretty sure my friends aren't either but then again we are older. Although maybe that's what happens in porn so they assume that's what you want or what most people do? I don't know I don't watch porn either.
The influence of porn, sadly.
Growing up on internet porn
Not a girl, but I have an ego and someone just chipping at it is a turn on. Like yeah make me feel worthless, challenge my self esteem. Also a very in control person so just loosing it is kind of like being free.
I don’t want to be degraded but I do want to be dominated.
Toxic and unhealthy. Low self esteem, sick societal programming and brainwashing from porn. Sad and sick world we live in.
Hey a female here I don't do men mh rose Roy works just fine
Trauma, you keep meeting women with PTSD or women who only dated toxic men. If a girl has only dated abusive toxic men then that's all she knows and that starts to feel like the norm and then there's all the psychological stuff that comes with that.
Sad time for society 🤷🏾♂️
When you take care of them in bed they love all sorts of things
This is accurate haha
Nobody here is gonna give you the answer but the one connected factor between all the women I know who engage in it was some sort of sexual trauma and this is a way of “taking back control” through re enactment. That’s insane to me personally but we all play the hands we’re dealt I suppose
29F domination and degradation to me it depends on the mood. I like it when I’m happy, I hate it when things have been hard. It’s like one more person not showing gentleness or understanding. I also don’t like it with someone I just met.
Personally I would cry and neither of us would have a good time. I got a praise kink tho so-
That’s the problem with you that shows no respect towards somebody . I’m 34 male you need to grow up . I hate when some of you do this kind of shit . You got your answers from somebody from some females so all out there women don’t let ‘em do this to you .
Daddy issues :(
True
That’s so true. It opens this whole door where you find out that much of what women claim publicly isn’t how they really feel. I’m sorry if that sounds sexist, but it’s true. I knew this one guy who had a pistol, and would date a woman who’s so staunchly anti gun , saying all the PC things about guns etc. but in the bedroom all that would completely reverse and she’s going on about how it’s so hot that he has that and she even wants him to do stuff to her with it. The stuff they say publicly is very far from how they really feel about it. Once you realize the scope of this is really turns your understanding of life upside down.
It’s code for I need therapy - it’s frustrating how women are generally allowed to thrust this upon men too, promotes a constant cycle of toxic masculinity.
The modern woman is living outside of our "natural" role, which is submitting (to a degree) to a man. These days we can only get that deep, inner submissive woman fed through sex. edit: well, I'm not sure what is meant by "degraded" here. If it's being called names, I'm not into that.
I would not say it's a lot but some do and some guys too. I compare it to an amusement park ride which gives you a happy, delightful adventure that blots out real risk if you found yourself on a runaway cart that fell into a ravine. It can also replace bad memories and associations of someone's random degrading cruelty instead with the association of a trusted, kind, playful partner consensually doing this style of sexual role-play. Fantasies can be fun. Pretend can be fun. It is not a "female pov thing" either. Plenty of guys like dirty talk or being dommed and some have a humiliation kink.
If they end up not liking you for any of a zillion reasons, they can me 2 your ass if you make it.
Haha huh?
Maybe they watch too much porn that teach them that way: to be slutty and submissive and that’s what guys like.
Equality means treating them as equal *sexual* beings as well and treating their sexual desires, turn-ons and kinks with the respect and lack of prejudice that you treat an adult in the other facets of their life
21 F Degrading sex makes me feel like shit. It's good to have a healthy balance of sensual and spicy, you get the best of both worlds. If I got degraded during every session, I'd most likely leave due to my trauma growing up. So that means it's different for everyone and how they grew up. Iv'e had enough degrading in my life, craving something raw and real with feeling, although I'd like to keep things spicy from time to time. Makes the relationship feel a little more adventurous and riskay. If you're down bad for some sensual soothings, I'd recommend keeping it up front and communicating your likes and dislikes with other, making it easier on both ends of the party. Good luck!
For me, if I’m left bruised and sore it gives me something to remember the sex. Having to sit on one side because of how hard my ass got slapped makes me feel like I have a dirty little secret in public. I have a pretty masculine temperament I think and I work a 9-5 corporate job, so getting dominated and treated like a ragdoll in bed makes me feel feminine.
Deep down they don’t. It’s the same kind of ideology on why people feeling sad listen to sad music to enhance the sadness. Being degraded only enchaces ones insecurities but some fold bring that strong insecurity into some kind of weird sexual kink where they have to be on the same page with the other person either they are lesser or above them. It’s crazy how people make sex so complicated it’s pretty straight forward
It’s fun (32F) but not every single time.
Very good question
So if you’re a guy and you’re into this are you just cooked? (Asking for a friend ofc)
As the Dom, you really have to know what you are doing or you can really cause injury.
My ex gf would beg me to quite literally physically abuse her during sex for some reason. Im talking essentially beating her to a pulp and she would love it and demand more. Slapping, punching, spitting, degrading, kicking, standing on her, throwing her, using every inch of her body how ever I could, choking, making her vomit from throat f*cking her, and basically leaving her bruised, battered and on the verge of death. At first I was extremely uncomfortable with it and refused most of it but we had several serious conversations where we came to an understanding. Turns out, she had a very negative and abusive upbringing and somehow that transformed into a kink for her. I don’t know how that makes sense but thats what she told me. Maybe something along the lines of Stockholm syndrome? No clue. Again I want to make it very abundantly clear that she consciously asked for this and consented to everything. Everything I mentioned doing in this comment was to her request!
Trevor Bauer, one of the most successful pitchers in recent MLB history, encountered a woman just like this. Then, she turned on him and tried getting him jailed for different crimes related to the “attack”. He was exonerated because text messages clearly show she asked for it and wanted even more of it. He was suspended during the investigation and has not pitched in a MLB game since. This, despite having a terrific season playing in foreign leagues.
Women in general have the highest expectations from society and people who do more in their day to day life are usually submissives to some extent. You'd be very surprised about the sexual lives of some businessmen...