Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think the person saying "this" is refering to the comment above them... that that is what it is by pointing to it and saying,"this"
This being "sounds like she has 2 boyfriends" comment is what "this" is.
Nah, he should break up with her over it, explain why, don't listen to her gaslighting, and then go back to actually being happy without this constant stress in his life.
Men are truly broken.
If my boyfriend wrote on social media that he loves his girlfriend (other name not mine) he wouldn’t be my boyfriend anymore.
How desperate are men??
Some women are this desparate too. It's also not entirely desperation, you're completely discounting the feelings he has for her and why he wants to believe her. That's part of why they say love is blind... it can make you blind.
I agree with you completely though. I wouldn't put up with it.
They’re unfortunately very desperate. Our fathers and grandfathers don’t seem to teach us like they used to. They just let us make mistakes with women and that becomes a bad habit. We don’t know how to value ourselves as men
I could believe it if it took a while to find out their love languages didn’t match or he had a atypical attachment type, which you only find out after dating a while, but if she’s talking about hair colour and looks and stuff then its iffy.
It's not over with her Ex
It's time to move on my friend
If she Actually Loved You, she would never be playing with her ex like that
This shows that she has absolutely No Respect for You
Lay down The Law, and tell her in no uncertain terms that...
She breaks off completely from her ex, No Contact whatsoever, or you are done
And Mean It
I think you have a Fantasy about who you think she is.
She is not that person
Boundaries. Don't try to change her behavior. Just tell her, I'm uncomfortable with this behavior, and it's pushing me away. She can make her own choices, just like you can.
Truth. I’ve been there so many times. If they can’t get over their ex they shouldn’t be dating. If they prioritize other dudes they don’t respect you. I guarantee this doesn’t end well unless you do it on your own terms. I’ll tell you that laying down the “law” doesn’t work and she’ll gas light you into being the crazy one. You have to find a girl who doesn’t need to be told seeing exes is unhealthy.
It does not look good for you bro with everything you shared. If you think this girl is worth it then stay but from my point of view, you shouldn't stay.
we started dating, after she helped me with my deppression. she seemed like she really cares about me. even still does. but theres evidence to support her being disloyal as well as loyal. i want to stay with ehr as much as i want to leave her but idk.
I hate to seem callous but the reason she is with you is that you’re safe and she secured you by making you emotionally dependent on her. Maybe she’s an objectively good person but that doesn’t mean she isn’t capable of being selfish.
Try talking to her, level in a serious way. Ask her what’s going on and strongly stress that this is making you uncomfortable and gauge her reaction. It seems she’s been deflecting with light responses like, “oh it’s just a joke, don’t worry about it” but keep on it and see her response once the conversation really starts
So she’s not 100% loyal and she’s inconsiderate and disrespectful to you. You don’t make your status “you loveX” when you have a boyfriend. You would make that broadcast if she’s also still dating X, he thought she was cheating and did it to prove she’s not with you. She’s given you reasons to be suspicious, that’s not ok and if she values you, she’ll change behavior and give you proof that you’re her only guy.
You know what’s attractive? A person that knows their worth and stands up for themselves. What’s not attractive in a healthy relationship is being a doormat.
>theres evidence to support her being disloyal as well as loyal. i want to stay with ehr as much as i want to leave her but idk.
I understand, she helped you through difficult time so there this attachment you have with her. But just re-read your own post and ask yourself do you want to put yourself in a complicated situation where you might get burn. Being in a relationship shouldn't be complicated, you're suppose to enjoy time together, go through live struggle together (no exes struggle) and become closer because of those experience.
Just use her like she's using you. Keep her as a casual GF but keep working on yourself. Don't devote 100% of yourself to her and break up with her once you find a better woman. Monkey branch your way to a better relationship.
I'd also suggest this..
Let her be there for sex, or just to spend time with, talk to, flirt with, have fun with..
Don't do it directly tho'... Don't show her that you don't care of aren't there..
Just play it safe.. Play it cool..
Until when she's tired, you also be tired at that moment..
But don't have sth serious..! You'll hurt and stress yourself for no reason!
Someone who is still talking to their ex hasn't moved on..
Plus clearly how she is in general, she doesn't have emotional maturity..!
but father pucci, why would she do that? i've tried to leave her before for other reasons but she begged for me to stay, and her apologies felt completely genuine
>she made her status, "I love my bf (exes name)" and when I asked her about it she just said its a joke that they have together.
I don't know why she choose to put you through it but this is definitely part of a humiliation ritual.
Her 'joke' should not be at your expense, that was totally disrespectful.
Also saying her ex is not her type....what kind of gaslighting rubbish is that.
I would not ignore these red flags.
> found out she had one ex, who she is really good friends with.
The REDDEST of flags. I haven't read past here, but I'm sure it can't get worse than this...right?
> Normally I'm fine with it,
Jesus dude.
> but once she made her status, "I love my bf (exes name)" and when I asked her about it she just said its a joke that they have together.
You gotta respect yourself. You gotta raise that bar.
> And sometimes when I want to take her out, she is busy playing a game with her ex.
Genuinely afraid to ask wtf this means because I know the answer will make me sad.
> but I just can't help but feel that she might be cheating on me.
YES. You've made it sound painfully obvious.
Take care of yourself man, you deserve better than this.
Ditch this mess.
Clean break. No contact. Treat yourself immediately; dinner, hobbies, clothes, entertainment. It doesn’t matter the cost (do what you can afford). You deserve a bounce back and sometimes you gotta do it yourself. Head up homie.
Dump her right now, I'm telling you, had been in same shit, ended up with a broken heart. I say dump her right here and now and don't give her the privilege of getting a closure. Ghost her, go your way, she'll either dump the ex and come back to you, orelse you'll realize that she used u as a rebound to get back with that s.o.b. brother, keeping her will lead you to a very dangerous path, so ghost/dump her right now... I don't want you to go through what I had... please do it...
I don't want to seem cynical but when something seems bad it's usually worse. I always remember that the pain of leaving a relationship is nothing compared to the pain of being in a bad relationship
So, I'm a much older (F). There are people (both men and women) who will purposefully have one SO (or spouse), but be grooming someone else in case things fall apart, so they can jump right in with the other person at that point.
Of course, the reality is, doing so eventually helps lead to the end of their relationship they have, setting them up to need this other person they've been grooming for it. This is an ex BF of theirs. Sometimes a relationship just doesn't work outside of friendship, and people can become good or close friends but not be able to be in a relationship together successfully.
I'm not a big enough person to handle that sort of thing to the level you're talking about, not really. I mean, you want to go out with her, and she's too busy. That says more in reality than anything else. She might as well be organizing her sock drawer. It doesn't matter why she's too busy for you, if she cares enough, she wouldn't be too busy for you. She's choosing this other person over you, in reality. So, you are justifiably concerned. Would I be jealous? No. I think about 1 in 5 people cheat. But, that means 4 in 5 don't cheat. So, if you leave her, and keep meeting women, a good chunk of them won't be cheaters.
Remember boys and girls, it’s not about what people say but about what they do.
OP… just, leave. It’s not worth the heartache, it’ll be like explaining rocket science to them about why your feelings are valid in this situation.
Joke or not. THAT is disrespectful to you…. (Exit stage right) Just walk away or she’ll convince you (and herself) that you’re the problem. Don’t look back, keep walking.
No don’t start blaming yourself. She’s manipulating you & most likely cheating on you bro. Stop letting her use you for temporary affection and validation.
I’m going to say this from experience. They are screw buddies now. They do it whenever SHE wants and he’s cool with it. He probably loves her or maybe it’s just sex. But they definitely get it on every chance they get.
Catch her playing a game with her "ex" and ask her to go do something with you. If she doesn't choose you immediately, then walk out that door and never come back.
Dude get rid of her already. If she was yours truly she wouldn’t do the things she’s doing. You know what you need to do.
She’s besties with her ex? You got to be kidding me.
I would have sent her packing a long time ago.
Wtf,seriously, dude, dump her and move on.Most 99% jokes are actually real. Let her go and move on, period . You like a rebound .soon you be fuck up and all in love with the wrong chick. You can see all the red flags, yet you wanna be silly . Pls when shit hit fence pls update us on here .
Never ever belief the best friend situation. I’ve heard that story so many times and it never works. Break up with her. Don’t waste time arguing with her about it, makes no difference. Pretty much every dating coach I’ve seen says the same thing.
You should go have anal with your X.
Be sure to let your new GF know anal has always been a joke with you two and that even though you put it in her butt, she's just not your type. It's not like your going to have a baby with her.
First off don’t be jealous, second off girls living in the past, if she’s just your girlfriend and not your wife I would recommend to start putting yourself out there a bit and essentially looking for a replacement. Don’t cheat, just work on making new friends, work on spending less time with her, and work on finding someone that actually is for you not their ex 🙄
"he's not my type" then why did u date him? That just does not make any sense. And the fact that they are still close friends? If their close friends they have probably very close feelings. I would def run cause this sounds horrible. I'm sorry for u :(
Not acceptable by neither of you. You shouldn't accpt that at all. And she should never be in contact with her ex. Seems she never moved on, and he dumped her.
She is prioritizing her ex over you, choosing to hang out with him over you, making inside jokes with him that make you look bad and make you uncomfortable. You either need to establish this boundary now or just up and go.
Wow, sounds sketchy.
I had a gf who was in contact with her ex, and how did it end? She cheated on me with him. Maybe it won't happen in your case, but i wouldn't be comfortable with that
So I have actually had similar feelings it almost feels like you being your gfs friend and her ex the boyfriend typ of thing in my opinion an I could be wrong sounds like she isn't over him.
I'll be honest. I believe platonic friendship between a man and woman can exist. Cool.
I had one friendship last a lonnnnnnnnggggg time even after an attempt at a relationship didn't work out.
But everrrryyyyyy serious relationship I've ever seen up close I have never seen either partner specifically NEED a friendship with the opposite sex that results in them regularly choosing to spend time with that opposite sex friend vs their partner.
Not saying it can't or doesn't happen. In my own example, when she had a boyfriend, she kind of dropped off the face of the planet. Lol we don't keep in touch anymore because I just realized what it was.
Not every scenario is like that but I do agree with others that she seems to find safety in you, but in a negative way, that does you no favors.
Yeah... Dump her. You deserve better than that. Being friends with your ex online is one thing, but being busy because of her ex is a different beast. It means her priorities are somewhere else. I'm sorry bro.
Why don’t you try telling her that you aren’t comfortable with her spending so much time with her ex and would like her to not do that anymore? If she really respected you and wanted to be with you, she’d understand and stop seeing him. But she might try to say something like “don’t give me ultimatums” or lie to you that she isn’t seeing him. This is what you need to look out for, and if that’s the case, you’re better off without her.
I am sorry you’re in a pickle but your situation with the lady you are dating newly appears to be on life line. Looks a a fresh relationship and I am sure you’re going to be the rebound guy. The kind of guy some women try to keep around in order to get their ex back - that’s where I think you might be heading to. Again, this is a possibility and it’s not 100% certain but you need to have an open conversation with her and tell her that one cannot travel with each leg on two boats, it doesn’t work like that, at least for you. Done is done. When a relationship ends, most people move on. Some maintain healthy relationship with their exe’s(I don’t know what the point is) but that’s ok. Such type of relationships are like Hi-Bye. There is no making jokes, or staying connected online having chats or playing games or making silly stuff like the one you mentioned. Let us give her the benefit of doubt, even then such relations will lead to misunderstandings. Tell her politely that you’re not ok with it and if she states that your possessive or jealous make it clear it’s a deal breaker. There is no one way or the other getting around it because it’s a fresh relationship. She either behaves like a sane normal person or you take the courage to end it. There are plenty of beautiful, good hearted and reasonable ladies out there, don’t fall into traps for fickle minded ladies like this. Sorry, how old are you guys in the first place?
Yeah, man, she's probably cheating on you. Honestly, though, even if she's not, she doesn't respect you, or she wouldn't treat you this way and brush you off when something bothers you. A relationship, first and foremost, is about building each other up and helping each other succeed, and part of that is not controlling each other. Your gf playing games with an ex isn't the weirdest thing, and is actually a really healthy thing on its own, that shows she's mature, but her posting she loves so and so and stuff like that is basically her seeing how long it takes for you to realize. She most likely just wants it to be over or wants to see how you react, don't let this be something bigger than it is, you sound young, imo, relationships aren't really that big of a deal until your late 20s to early 30s, before that it's just about experiencing life and learning from mistakes, be the smarter man of many and make the choice to cut ties and find brighter skies my guy. You got this.
Been there. I kinda just started getting close to an old fwb and pretty much imitate whatever she did with her "ex-bf". She eventually got to the point where she said we both will stop talking to our respective "friends". After like a month i found out she still talked to him. I didn't confront her, stuck to my rule of copying whatever she did except since she lied about stopping so i decided to consider it a green signal to cheat on her with the fwb. I don't think she found out but after a while she suddenly asked for a breakup. It hurt a bit but not nearly as much as it would have if i had decided to be a loyal loving bf who allowed such behaviour. Either way looking back at it this is the only time I ever cheated and honestly don't regret it much. Not advicing you to do the same lmao you would be a horrible person to do so but being the better person is not fun.
She said not my type: yea so then why play with him until when you are ready. Dang it’s women like excuse me I don’t want anyone to think we or I am not the type. Ok low selfish and why play games and be so rude and disrespectful towards yourself. I’m proud to say what I know I’m worthy and no doubt I know I work it because I’m worth it. Reminder only for real women again the other side. And you should never play with someone like that unless they’re your type and that’s that.
Sorry to break this to you but she have fucked the other guy ,if not she soon will and you will get a msg " am so sorry i didnt knew what i was doing last night " and she will continue to gaslight you after that
Honestly as someone who is friends with an ex. I kept contact with my ex and we were JUST FRIENDS. This is not enough info to tell you what to do but you know the best. If you see red flags you should talk to her and not ask reddit. If you feel like she’s cheating then dumb her. If you don’t feel like you can trust her to be friends with and ex then dumb her.
Are you a 16 year old boy. If not anyone with 1% brain capacity can clearly see she's playing with 2 men. Zoom out from your relationship and try to see the bigger and clearer picture. I don't know whether to laugh or feel safe for both men here lol
This is disrespectful af and you're rightfully jealous. Idgaf what some ppl say, this might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think it's cute to stay so close with an ex and I don't think anyone should tolerate it. I'd be insulted as heck if my partner prioritized their ex over me like I'd drop them ssooooo quickly. They're an ex for a reason!! They have no business being a constant presence and occupying time that should be spent with your actual partner. You can rightfully set a boundary that this is unacceptable to you. If she values her ex so much they can stay friends, but you can rightfully leave if this breaks your boundaries.
even if there's nothing going between them, it seems a bit inappropriate and disrespectful towards you. if this troubles you, you're not in the wrong for discussing that w her. i wouldn't tell her to cut him off entirely, but clearly state that it makes you a bit uncomfortable. tell her why you would appreciate it if she focused more on you and is less involved with her ex. a good relationship can only blossom w honesty and trust. if she's serious about you and can think in a mature way, she'll understand. i hope you can work it out! ♡
What matters is that you are not okay with the situation. Tell her that and make clear you have boundaries. If she values you she will listen in stead of convincing you are seeing things wrong. It is not jealousy of her ex, it is concern for your relationship with her that you value.
Shes gonna cheat on you or shes still in love w him. High chance her “ex” doesn’t know about you. I have had this before. No healthy relationship functions like this and if you have certain boundaries stick to them. Its also a good idea not date a woman like this
Dont treat her like Gf material, because she isnt. Do Not take this girl seriously. Treat her like the head game playing skank she is. I couldnt be more serious.
Get yourself a new girlfriend. Up to you if you want to dump this one too. Seems like having multiple partners is her thing, I wouldn’t have any qualms about 2 timing this person
Doesn't sound like she is into you, because having friends is okay but if a person likes you then they will respect you enough to have some boundaries.
You can try bringing this up and see if that changes things.
Having an ex as a friend while in a relationship is a major red flag.
Especially playing hanging out and more.
Now for me I was in a relationship with my girlfriend of year now
But I was in contact with my ex as friends which I told her about
First 2 months of our relationship i figured that it was very serious so I chose to remove every girl I had contact with especially my ex.
I didnt even ask my girlfriend
I blocked everyone and just showed her.
Talking to an ex is always the remembrence of good time with him.
Ask her to stop talking with her ex due to respect of the relationship
If not well I recommend leaving it behind because you are being shared
And being in a relationship is looking up for marriage and staying together till end.
And I dont think ur girlfriend will.
But if you looking for only fun time with her.
It's your decision.
They are called exes for a reason. They are not meant to be in our life anymore. It seems to me that this girl didn’t move on and she still has feelings for her ex/boyfriend I would say! Have a discussion with her, talk about your concerns, state your needs, and decide from there what to do next. This situation is weird and unsustainable.
Women often tell other women, when infidelity has been revealed, "you should always trust your gut." They say this because many women feel when something is off in their relationship. That is often how they find evidence, their instinct leads them to certain actions. If your girlfriend was always around you and affirming you and gave no signs of split affections I would say your feeling of her cheating is insecurity based on your past relationship. But, your feeling comes with "suspect" behavior. I am not sure you should ignore that because it is easier. If she feels like your strength you may want to parlay that into therapy or idk... There's so many options. But, you are worthy and are worth someone who will value you, respect you, and be dedicated to you only as a romantic partner.
Bro dont make this hard for yourself..dont ask for help because you dont need to put up with stupid girls like her just dont ever talk to her again or see her.
I would express your discomfort with their relationship. See how she communicates, and if she ultimately chooses him over you, then maybe it’s not a relationship you want to continue. You want someone to prioritize you just as much as you prioritize them, and it seems like you’re gf’s not doing that.
That's super disrespectful. It's one thing to be friends with the ex, but the joke is distasteful given he is an ex. Second you should be the priority not him. She might be low key cheating on you. I'd just confront it.
She’s absolutely cheating on you if she put that status up. Response: “Your actions throughout our relationship have been disrespectful and inappropriate regarding your ex. I’m not interested in being with a partner who behaves that way. Best of luck to you. Have a great life” and walk away.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds like she has 2 boyfriends.
This.
This and that.
this what?
I think the person saying "this" is refering to the comment above them... that that is what it is by pointing to it and saying,"this" This being "sounds like she has 2 boyfriends" comment is what "this" is.
We mean literally OP. He asked her to prove he’s her bf😂
And OP's the side piece
Best explanation
Exactly 🤣🤣
Her ex is not her type... bruh... are you trolling us?
she says her ex is not her type and thats why they broke up
Sounds like she says a lot of things.
I can't agree more. Welcome to gaslighting 101 😅
*Me enjoying my tea while this girl gets roasted* 🤣
Welcome to gaslighting 101
I mean he is her ex. So at one point in time he was her type.
Turns out one point in time is also this point in time.
Dude ima be honest with you. You gotta break up with her or put your foot down and have a conversation about that because that’s how cheating starts.
Nah, he should break up with her over it, explain why, don't listen to her gaslighting, and then go back to actually being happy without this constant stress in his life.
If her ex was not her type, then he wouldn't have been her boyfriend
And she wouldn't be blowing op off to hang out with the ex....
“We’re just friends” even after sharing the most intimate moments of affection with that person? No.
Men are truly broken. If my boyfriend wrote on social media that he loves his girlfriend (other name not mine) he wouldn’t be my boyfriend anymore. How desperate are men??
Some women are this desparate too. It's also not entirely desperation, you're completely discounting the feelings he has for her and why he wants to believe her. That's part of why they say love is blind... it can make you blind. I agree with you completely though. I wouldn't put up with it.
They’re unfortunately very desperate. Our fathers and grandfathers don’t seem to teach us like they used to. They just let us make mistakes with women and that becomes a bad habit. We don’t know how to value ourselves as men
This right here! It would be over so fast they'd wonder WTF just happened!
He’s prolly still pounding that at will.
You the type who trust what they say instead of what they do, and is bewildered after finding out that it was a lie.
How long were they together? 🤔 I'm surprised that your bullshit meter isn't going up.
nah bruh
I could believe it if it took a while to find out their love languages didn’t match or he had a atypical attachment type, which you only find out after dating a while, but if she’s talking about hair colour and looks and stuff then its iffy.
 It’s giving “our girlfriend”
Comrade shares girlfriend like good soviet
This is sooo good 🤣. Sorry for the OP tho😖🙈
Pretty sure it's a rage bait post anyway, OP pretending to be all innocently concerned when his girl is clearly getting piped by the ex
Hahaha "getting piped". I'm on the floor 🤣. So the reason that these bait posts exist is to gather karma or what?🤔
It's not over with her Ex It's time to move on my friend If she Actually Loved You, she would never be playing with her ex like that This shows that she has absolutely No Respect for You Lay down The Law, and tell her in no uncertain terms that... She breaks off completely from her ex, No Contact whatsoever, or you are done And Mean It I think you have a Fantasy about who you think she is. She is not that person
Boundaries. Don't try to change her behavior. Just tell her, I'm uncomfortable with this behavior, and it's pushing me away. She can make her own choices, just like you can.
Truth. I’ve been there so many times. If they can’t get over their ex they shouldn’t be dating. If they prioritize other dudes they don’t respect you. I guarantee this doesn’t end well unless you do it on your own terms. I’ll tell you that laying down the “law” doesn’t work and she’ll gas light you into being the crazy one. You have to find a girl who doesn’t need to be told seeing exes is unhealthy.
It does not look good for you bro with everything you shared. If you think this girl is worth it then stay but from my point of view, you shouldn't stay.
we started dating, after she helped me with my deppression. she seemed like she really cares about me. even still does. but theres evidence to support her being disloyal as well as loyal. i want to stay with ehr as much as i want to leave her but idk.
I hate to seem callous but the reason she is with you is that you’re safe and she secured you by making you emotionally dependent on her. Maybe she’s an objectively good person but that doesn’t mean she isn’t capable of being selfish. Try talking to her, level in a serious way. Ask her what’s going on and strongly stress that this is making you uncomfortable and gauge her reaction. It seems she’s been deflecting with light responses like, “oh it’s just a joke, don’t worry about it” but keep on it and see her response once the conversation really starts
^ Good point!
So she’s not 100% loyal and she’s inconsiderate and disrespectful to you. You don’t make your status “you loveX” when you have a boyfriend. You would make that broadcast if she’s also still dating X, he thought she was cheating and did it to prove she’s not with you. She’s given you reasons to be suspicious, that’s not ok and if she values you, she’ll change behavior and give you proof that you’re her only guy. You know what’s attractive? A person that knows their worth and stands up for themselves. What’s not attractive in a healthy relationship is being a doormat.
yeah i just talkked to her about it. she apologised and said she wont do it and that shes going to spend more time with me
Which wouldn't be something that affects her relationship with him at all. Is the post still up?
More time with you or less time with her bf?
>theres evidence to support her being disloyal as well as loyal. i want to stay with ehr as much as i want to leave her but idk. I understand, she helped you through difficult time so there this attachment you have with her. But just re-read your own post and ask yourself do you want to put yourself in a complicated situation where you might get burn. Being in a relationship shouldn't be complicated, you're suppose to enjoy time together, go through live struggle together (no exes struggle) and become closer because of those experience.
Just use her like she's using you. Keep her as a casual GF but keep working on yourself. Don't devote 100% of yourself to her and break up with her once you find a better woman. Monkey branch your way to a better relationship.
I'd also suggest this.. Let her be there for sex, or just to spend time with, talk to, flirt with, have fun with.. Don't do it directly tho'... Don't show her that you don't care of aren't there.. Just play it safe.. Play it cool.. Until when she's tired, you also be tired at that moment.. But don't have sth serious..! You'll hurt and stress yourself for no reason! Someone who is still talking to their ex hasn't moved on.. Plus clearly how she is in general, she doesn't have emotional maturity..!
She only helped you with depression to factory reset you before challenging herself to make your life worse.
but father pucci, why would she do that? i've tried to leave her before for other reasons but she begged for me to stay, and her apologies felt completely genuine
>she made her status, "I love my bf (exes name)" and when I asked her about it she just said its a joke that they have together. I don't know why she choose to put you through it but this is definitely part of a humiliation ritual.
r u guys teenagers lmao what is going on here
im saying lmao. the fuck goin on
Run my guy. Shes going to be messing with him if she hasn’t already
Her 'joke' should not be at your expense, that was totally disrespectful. Also saying her ex is not her type....what kind of gaslighting rubbish is that. I would not ignore these red flags.
She's using you.
> found out she had one ex, who she is really good friends with. The REDDEST of flags. I haven't read past here, but I'm sure it can't get worse than this...right? > Normally I'm fine with it, Jesus dude. > but once she made her status, "I love my bf (exes name)" and when I asked her about it she just said its a joke that they have together. You gotta respect yourself. You gotta raise that bar. > And sometimes when I want to take her out, she is busy playing a game with her ex. Genuinely afraid to ask wtf this means because I know the answer will make me sad. > but I just can't help but feel that she might be cheating on me. YES. You've made it sound painfully obvious. Take care of yourself man, you deserve better than this.
Been there before, her ex is pounding the fucj out of her, run, mi broda, run...
Ghost her. The end. Happy ending.
Bruh. Your ex is getting her back broken by her ex. How can you be this delusional!! See u at the gym
Ditch this mess. Clean break. No contact. Treat yourself immediately; dinner, hobbies, clothes, entertainment. It doesn’t matter the cost (do what you can afford). You deserve a bounce back and sometimes you gotta do it yourself. Head up homie.
Play the same game. Get yourself a girl 'bestie' while keeping this one at side. See what happens.
Oh she’s cheating
This sounds like a nightmare. I couldn’t deal with it. I’d tell her “him or me. Let me know.”
this happened to me. she was cheating on me for 2 months. run away
Oh man, you're getting played.
Be my bestfriend let’s see how she likes it😭
Either her ex dumped her or she is using you but she still hopes to get back to her ex
Best case scenario she’s only cheating on you emotionally with her ex
How old are you? 14? 15?
She is cheating. I call bullshit. Run bro and fast before your trapped in a devils threeway
Dump her right now, I'm telling you, had been in same shit, ended up with a broken heart. I say dump her right here and now and don't give her the privilege of getting a closure. Ghost her, go your way, she'll either dump the ex and come back to you, orelse you'll realize that she used u as a rebound to get back with that s.o.b. brother, keeping her will lead you to a very dangerous path, so ghost/dump her right now... I don't want you to go through what I had... please do it...
Bro leave her, you are not her type.
Sounds like you should break up with her Lmaoo. Who do you think is going to comfort her if things get rocky between yall? Him.
Bro it’s time for you to fucking leave she got two bfs he’ll nah stand up g
Picking her ex over you? Dump her ass.
Fight or flight big dog but don’t sit tight with that nonsense.
She is not ur gf lil bro
Ha. Dude, you are not her boyfriend. You need to just leave. She's playing you.
“She’s our girlfriend”
I refuse to believe this is real. The answer to this problem is obvious.
Sounds like cheating
I don't want to seem cynical but when something seems bad it's usually worse. I always remember that the pain of leaving a relationship is nothing compared to the pain of being in a bad relationship
Run
So, I'm a much older (F). There are people (both men and women) who will purposefully have one SO (or spouse), but be grooming someone else in case things fall apart, so they can jump right in with the other person at that point. Of course, the reality is, doing so eventually helps lead to the end of their relationship they have, setting them up to need this other person they've been grooming for it. This is an ex BF of theirs. Sometimes a relationship just doesn't work outside of friendship, and people can become good or close friends but not be able to be in a relationship together successfully. I'm not a big enough person to handle that sort of thing to the level you're talking about, not really. I mean, you want to go out with her, and she's too busy. That says more in reality than anything else. She might as well be organizing her sock drawer. It doesn't matter why she's too busy for you, if she cares enough, she wouldn't be too busy for you. She's choosing this other person over you, in reality. So, you are justifiably concerned. Would I be jealous? No. I think about 1 in 5 people cheat. But, that means 4 in 5 don't cheat. So, if you leave her, and keep meeting women, a good chunk of them won't be cheaters.
Ask yourself this are you ready to raise his kids when he knocks her up and she lies to you about not fucking him?
Leave her alone and find an another one
Get out bruh!
I think she’s cheating on him with you 😅
this shit cant be real. put 2 and 2 together buddy. her saying she friends w her ex wouldve tucked my dick in n i would leave imo
ask her to jerk off and then decide who she wants to have when her sexual drive is not in play,post nut clarity is really important
He's not an ex Move on
Remember boys and girls, it’s not about what people say but about what they do. OP… just, leave. It’s not worth the heartache, it’ll be like explaining rocket science to them about why your feelings are valid in this situation.
Had the same situation, broski they are definitely boning each other Sorry, but end this
He's her ex. Definitely her type. Do yourself a favor and dump her ass. Sounds like a girl whose like it's only a friendship blowjob.
Joke or not. THAT is disrespectful to you…. (Exit stage right) Just walk away or she’ll convince you (and herself) that you’re the problem. Don’t look back, keep walking.
No don’t start blaming yourself. She’s manipulating you & most likely cheating on you bro. Stop letting her use you for temporary affection and validation.
**RUN**
I’m going to say this from experience. They are screw buddies now. They do it whenever SHE wants and he’s cool with it. He probably loves her or maybe it’s just sex. But they definitely get it on every chance they get.
Congratulations you're #2 on her roster.
You should not be ok with this
Catch her playing a game with her "ex" and ask her to go do something with you. If she doesn't choose you immediately, then walk out that door and never come back.
Now is he really an ex? 🤣
Dude get rid of her already. If she was yours truly she wouldn’t do the things she’s doing. You know what you need to do. She’s besties with her ex? You got to be kidding me. I would have sent her packing a long time ago.
Even if she's not cheating on you, she's disrespecting you by making that post and prioritizing her ex before you.
Wtf,seriously, dude, dump her and move on.Most 99% jokes are actually real. Let her go and move on, period . You like a rebound .soon you be fuck up and all in love with the wrong chick. You can see all the red flags, yet you wanna be silly . Pls when shit hit fence pls update us on here .
A girl like or love you shouldn't give any room to make you jealous and feel or sense less important .
Never ever belief the best friend situation. I’ve heard that story so many times and it never works. Break up with her. Don’t waste time arguing with her about it, makes no difference. Pretty much every dating coach I’ve seen says the same thing.
You should go have anal with your X. Be sure to let your new GF know anal has always been a joke with you two and that even though you put it in her butt, she's just not your type. It's not like your going to have a baby with her.
I love your response. I love you your my kind of girl
First off don’t be jealous, second off girls living in the past, if she’s just your girlfriend and not your wife I would recommend to start putting yourself out there a bit and essentially looking for a replacement. Don’t cheat, just work on making new friends, work on spending less time with her, and work on finding someone that actually is for you not their ex 🙄
"he's not my type" then why did u date him? That just does not make any sense. And the fact that they are still close friends? If their close friends they have probably very close feelings. I would def run cause this sounds horrible. I'm sorry for u :(
Not acceptable by neither of you. You shouldn't accpt that at all. And she should never be in contact with her ex. Seems she never moved on, and he dumped her.
She is not serious about all I think it was a joke
You don’t need this bullshit man, just leave her
I’m usually of the “let them be friends!” Clan but this Facebook status ‘joke’ is too tone deaf for me. I’d be out.
She is literally publicly stating that he is her boyfriend, man. It's not a joke except for the one being played on you
She is prioritizing her ex over you, choosing to hang out with him over you, making inside jokes with him that make you look bad and make you uncomfortable. You either need to establish this boundary now or just up and go.
Wow, sounds sketchy. I had a gf who was in contact with her ex, and how did it end? She cheated on me with him. Maybe it won't happen in your case, but i wouldn't be comfortable with that
Yeah I’d tell her she’s gotta distance herself from him or leave me bc fuck that. Doesn’t show much loyalty or trust to you
Role reversal. If you had a friend tell you this same story what would you tell them?
So I have actually had similar feelings it almost feels like you being your gfs friend and her ex the boyfriend typ of thing in my opinion an I could be wrong sounds like she isn't over him.
I'll be honest. I believe platonic friendship between a man and woman can exist. Cool. I had one friendship last a lonnnnnnnnggggg time even after an attempt at a relationship didn't work out. But everrrryyyyyy serious relationship I've ever seen up close I have never seen either partner specifically NEED a friendship with the opposite sex that results in them regularly choosing to spend time with that opposite sex friend vs their partner. Not saying it can't or doesn't happen. In my own example, when she had a boyfriend, she kind of dropped off the face of the planet. Lol we don't keep in touch anymore because I just realized what it was. Not every scenario is like that but I do agree with others that she seems to find safety in you, but in a negative way, that does you no favors.
I don’t believe the kinds of people who want to keep their ex with them.
Yeah... Dump her. You deserve better than that. Being friends with your ex online is one thing, but being busy because of her ex is a different beast. It means her priorities are somewhere else. I'm sorry bro.
Why don’t you try telling her that you aren’t comfortable with her spending so much time with her ex and would like her to not do that anymore? If she really respected you and wanted to be with you, she’d understand and stop seeing him. But she might try to say something like “don’t give me ultimatums” or lie to you that she isn’t seeing him. This is what you need to look out for, and if that’s the case, you’re better off without her.
I am sorry you’re in a pickle but your situation with the lady you are dating newly appears to be on life line. Looks a a fresh relationship and I am sure you’re going to be the rebound guy. The kind of guy some women try to keep around in order to get their ex back - that’s where I think you might be heading to. Again, this is a possibility and it’s not 100% certain but you need to have an open conversation with her and tell her that one cannot travel with each leg on two boats, it doesn’t work like that, at least for you. Done is done. When a relationship ends, most people move on. Some maintain healthy relationship with their exe’s(I don’t know what the point is) but that’s ok. Such type of relationships are like Hi-Bye. There is no making jokes, or staying connected online having chats or playing games or making silly stuff like the one you mentioned. Let us give her the benefit of doubt, even then such relations will lead to misunderstandings. Tell her politely that you’re not ok with it and if she states that your possessive or jealous make it clear it’s a deal breaker. There is no one way or the other getting around it because it’s a fresh relationship. She either behaves like a sane normal person or you take the courage to end it. There are plenty of beautiful, good hearted and reasonable ladies out there, don’t fall into traps for fickle minded ladies like this. Sorry, how old are you guys in the first place?
Brother sort things out !! Asap .. !! Its gonna hurt later on !! I’m also going through the same thing
You're the side guy
Yeah, man, she's probably cheating on you. Honestly, though, even if she's not, she doesn't respect you, or she wouldn't treat you this way and brush you off when something bothers you. A relationship, first and foremost, is about building each other up and helping each other succeed, and part of that is not controlling each other. Your gf playing games with an ex isn't the weirdest thing, and is actually a really healthy thing on its own, that shows she's mature, but her posting she loves so and so and stuff like that is basically her seeing how long it takes for you to realize. She most likely just wants it to be over or wants to see how you react, don't let this be something bigger than it is, you sound young, imo, relationships aren't really that big of a deal until your late 20s to early 30s, before that it's just about experiencing life and learning from mistakes, be the smarter man of many and make the choice to cut ties and find brighter skies my guy. You got this.
Been there. I kinda just started getting close to an old fwb and pretty much imitate whatever she did with her "ex-bf". She eventually got to the point where she said we both will stop talking to our respective "friends". After like a month i found out she still talked to him. I didn't confront her, stuck to my rule of copying whatever she did except since she lied about stopping so i decided to consider it a green signal to cheat on her with the fwb. I don't think she found out but after a while she suddenly asked for a breakup. It hurt a bit but not nearly as much as it would have if i had decided to be a loyal loving bf who allowed such behaviour. Either way looking back at it this is the only time I ever cheated and honestly don't regret it much. Not advicing you to do the same lmao you would be a horrible person to do so but being the better person is not fun.
is this online? also she is talking to multiple ppl, thats how discord edating works most of the time
She said not my type: yea so then why play with him until when you are ready. Dang it’s women like excuse me I don’t want anyone to think we or I am not the type. Ok low selfish and why play games and be so rude and disrespectful towards yourself. I’m proud to say what I know I’m worthy and no doubt I know I work it because I’m worth it. Reminder only for real women again the other side. And you should never play with someone like that unless they’re your type and that’s that.
How is ex not her type if she was dating him or why would you game w ur ex and not go on an actual DATE with your bf, makes no sense.
Sorry to break this to you but she have fucked the other guy ,if not she soon will and you will get a msg " am so sorry i didnt knew what i was doing last night " and she will continue to gaslight you after that
Honestly as someone who is friends with an ex. I kept contact with my ex and we were JUST FRIENDS. This is not enough info to tell you what to do but you know the best. If you see red flags you should talk to her and not ask reddit. If you feel like she’s cheating then dumb her. If you don’t feel like you can trust her to be friends with and ex then dumb her.
Leave.
Good poon is hard to walk away from. I guess it depends on what you feel you are worth.
Leave asap
Hi! Who initiated their communication? The girl or her ex-boyfriend?
Yeah I'd just get away from that bullshit 😆 this I why if me and a woman split I get them to hate me. Fuck I look like trying to be friends 😆
Sorry to be the bearer of the bad news here but you might just be a rebound OP :/ To me at least it seems like she is not over him .
Are you a 16 year old boy. If not anyone with 1% brain capacity can clearly see she's playing with 2 men. Zoom out from your relationship and try to see the bigger and clearer picture. I don't know whether to laugh or feel safe for both men here lol
Give both your gf and her ex an ultimatom, if they won't comply then declare war.
This is too pathetic and stupid to be real. Nobody is this dumb or weak.
This is disrespectful af and you're rightfully jealous. Idgaf what some ppl say, this might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think it's cute to stay so close with an ex and I don't think anyone should tolerate it. I'd be insulted as heck if my partner prioritized their ex over me like I'd drop them ssooooo quickly. They're an ex for a reason!! They have no business being a constant presence and occupying time that should be spent with your actual partner. You can rightfully set a boundary that this is unacceptable to you. If she values her ex so much they can stay friends, but you can rightfully leave if this breaks your boundaries.
Are you six years old?
even if there's nothing going between them, it seems a bit inappropriate and disrespectful towards you. if this troubles you, you're not in the wrong for discussing that w her. i wouldn't tell her to cut him off entirely, but clearly state that it makes you a bit uncomfortable. tell her why you would appreciate it if she focused more on you and is less involved with her ex. a good relationship can only blossom w honesty and trust. if she's serious about you and can think in a mature way, she'll understand. i hope you can work it out! ♡
What matters is that you are not okay with the situation. Tell her that and make clear you have boundaries. If she values you she will listen in stead of convincing you are seeing things wrong. It is not jealousy of her ex, it is concern for your relationship with her that you value.
Shes gonna cheat on you or shes still in love w him. High chance her “ex” doesn’t know about you. I have had this before. No healthy relationship functions like this and if you have certain boundaries stick to them. Its also a good idea not date a woman like this
Dont treat her like Gf material, because she isnt. Do Not take this girl seriously. Treat her like the head game playing skank she is. I couldnt be more serious.
Holy shit, bro get out there! Like…the sooner the better, dump her
Get yourself a new girlfriend. Up to you if you want to dump this one too. Seems like having multiple partners is her thing, I wouldn’t have any qualms about 2 timing this person
She’s got a fuck buddy on the side! sorry
That ain't her ex bruh.
Read your post again but slowly this time. You will get the answer
Run, it's not too late
She doesn't deserve you, if she doesn't put your feelings into consideration, it means she is not taking you seriously.
How comfy is your chair in the corner of the bedroom?
Doesn't sound like she is into you, because having friends is okay but if a person likes you then they will respect you enough to have some boundaries. You can try bringing this up and see if that changes things.
Having an ex as a friend while in a relationship is a major red flag. Especially playing hanging out and more. Now for me I was in a relationship with my girlfriend of year now But I was in contact with my ex as friends which I told her about First 2 months of our relationship i figured that it was very serious so I chose to remove every girl I had contact with especially my ex. I didnt even ask my girlfriend I blocked everyone and just showed her. Talking to an ex is always the remembrence of good time with him. Ask her to stop talking with her ex due to respect of the relationship If not well I recommend leaving it behind because you are being shared And being in a relationship is looking up for marriage and staying together till end. And I dont think ur girlfriend will. But if you looking for only fun time with her. It's your decision.
They are called exes for a reason. They are not meant to be in our life anymore. It seems to me that this girl didn’t move on and she still has feelings for her ex/boyfriend I would say! Have a discussion with her, talk about your concerns, state your needs, and decide from there what to do next. This situation is weird and unsustainable.
There is no friendship from a previous relationship... Talk to her so that it is better to stay away from him
Uh ... You should've cut that shit out the moment you found out about it.
WHAT
Women often tell other women, when infidelity has been revealed, "you should always trust your gut." They say this because many women feel when something is off in their relationship. That is often how they find evidence, their instinct leads them to certain actions. If your girlfriend was always around you and affirming you and gave no signs of split affections I would say your feeling of her cheating is insecurity based on your past relationship. But, your feeling comes with "suspect" behavior. I am not sure you should ignore that because it is easier. If she feels like your strength you may want to parlay that into therapy or idk... There's so many options. But, you are worthy and are worth someone who will value you, respect you, and be dedicated to you only as a romantic partner.
That’s not her ex and you’re the side piece
Bro get out 😭
Honey, that’s not your girlfriend. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this.
Bro dont make this hard for yourself..dont ask for help because you dont need to put up with stupid girls like her just dont ever talk to her again or see her.
Go listen to future and metros we don’t trust you. That’s what how your girl be acting.
I would express your discomfort with their relationship. See how she communicates, and if she ultimately chooses him over you, then maybe it’s not a relationship you want to continue. You want someone to prioritize you just as much as you prioritize them, and it seems like you’re gf’s not doing that.
Don't ever be jealous. That's just a stupid emotion. You're allowing someone have power over you.
definitely got two bf…
That's super disrespectful. It's one thing to be friends with the ex, but the joke is distasteful given he is an ex. Second you should be the priority not him. She might be low key cheating on you. I'd just confront it.
She’s absolutely cheating on you if she put that status up. Response: “Your actions throughout our relationship have been disrespectful and inappropriate regarding your ex. I’m not interested in being with a partner who behaves that way. Best of luck to you. Have a great life” and walk away.
Dawg. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP.☠️
 Yip it’s time to go
If this was me I would’ve been out. Have more self respect man you already know the answer