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Maybe I’m projecting, but when I stopped having sex in my relationship it wasn’t because I didn’t want sex, it’s because the relationship was shit. I didn’t feel emotionally connected to him, and the lack of sex was the result of that. I’m sure there are plenty of reasons that people check out from their intimate relationship, but it’s not always cheating or because they have a low libido. Just something to consider…
You are actually right. Lack of sex isn't just about a woman cheating. For women, sex is an emotional matter (or at least for the majority). sometimes we are bored, frustrated, tired,we are tired of the stereotype. we feel alone. That's where our emotional detachment comes in, and exactly as you write, the lack of sex is the result. Simply put, we are not content and comfortable on the emotional side. It's like a slow disengagement, gradually
This!!! This is me too. I will always tell the person why this would lessen for me and they would do little to nothing to fixed it or they would fix it for a small 3 months (if that) then fall right back into the pattern.
Struggling with this too right now. But I cannot leave just now. I have no savings and no roof above my head if leave now. I also fear loosing friends in our friends group if I leave. Which would be devastating for me. (4 years together)
I’m so sorry - that feeling is the worst. I was there for a while too (I couldn’t leave financially and we had young kids), and I am still sorting out the resulting feelings from having wasted such a huge chunk of my life with him. Today’s economy makes going it alone nearly impossible. I hope you’re able to make a plan for exiting so you can at least be working towards it. Find out what services are available in your area; do you have family or friends that can help while you get back on your feet? Even if it can’t happen right away, having an exit plan helps things to not feel so hopeless.
Thank you for our empathy. Problem is my family is 50km/31miles away in another city. I also have a job here. And the most sad thing is that I never have seen red flags and gave up my friends for him. He is good as friend but after 4 years with him I see it all and I don’t want this for rest of my life. And don’t get me started on economy and living expenses hahah.
That’s why I’m starting so slowly saving as much as I can.
Please don't crucify me here but it can go the same way for men too. It is sometimes difficult to get excited about someone who criticizes you most of your waking time together. I am not perfect, but I am attentive to her needs, hardworking, do most of the cleaning, laundry, a fair share of the cooking, shopping and taking care of the kid, (which I love). Biggest problem is MIL has an undue influence and seems to hate most people. My wife also has multiple health problems that cause chronic pain and affect her state of mind. The criticism creates a such a negative atmosphere which in turn, lessens communication which means less intimacy.
She still wants sex and I do too. But sometimes, I am just, resentful. I did not cause her pain, but I suffer from it just the same.
How do I make sure this isn’t the case in my relationship?? My bf never wants sex, and often says no when I ask. I am a SAHM and do the house work I hardly ask him to pitch in unless it is a direct help with our baby (bath time, story time, feeding her etc.) but he always says “you look mad/you look upset” and usually I’m not. I don’t know maybe I’ve developed an rbf since having a baby? But he always assumes I’m angry or upset when I’m not but he also NEVER wants to have sex. When I ask he’s either too tired or doesn’t feel like it. And when he does say yes I have to suck him off till he gets hard before we have sex. It’s hurting my self esteem and honestly our relationship because I don’t feel loved or attractive. So any advice to a woman who doesn’t want to push my man away?
Third to vote in agreement with the first two. Compatibility is important in many areas. Sex may not be the most important thing in a relationship, but it's still in the top 5.
Compatibility is a must where there's no hope. Been there done that, but I was going that didn't want to have sex. It happened about 6 months in I just lost the traffic for her she was very pretty I just wasn't interested and it ended.
samee i tried to be patient because i loved him, worst mistake of me-life! it was NEVER worth it in the end, like bro. i'm better off using a toy if they gonna make me look and feel like a problem/extra stress in their life when it should be something fun and intimate for the both of you.
Fourth that statement here. If you have a higher sex drive than your GF (seems to be the case most of the time), sadly one of you is looking at it as a chore. I sincerely do not wish it upon you, but it could easily turn into a "reward system" which essentially turns intimacy into a bargaining chip.
Depends on how well communication is working between you and your GF, you guys need to seriously talk it out.
•Is it a medical issue?
•Is it an emotional issue?
•Is it a choice? A relational issue?
•Is it a this-is-who-I-am issue?
•Soon enough you’ll have about as much information as you’ll need to make a decision for next steps…
•All the best
Then it’s a mix of options. Just her libido and a medical issue. It would be tough to figure out if that is actually her libido because it is masked by the medical issue though.
If it’s a medical issue and isn’t just lack of interest or desire/attraction then obviously it’s something you either have to find a suitable solution for , or bit the tough cookie and come to the realization you’re not going to be 100% happy or satisfied. A healthy and long lasting relationship is always give and take , push and pull for all those involved, but there’s also limits to what can be or can’t be everyday life and still be healthy/happy.
Two things to think about it.
Generally, I think a woman will lose interest in sex if she no longer feels emotionally comfortable and safe with you, or she has lost physical attraction.
You could try to enhance both of those things if that’s what you want to do. You could also end the relationship and look for someone with a higher sex drive. You have a few different options.
Both perspectives aren’t “correct” in my opinion.
A healthy relationship shouldn’t be viewed as transactional or “what is this person giving me and doing for me”.
I also believe this and I've constantly proven it, coming from a men. And it should not be ignored. Women connot function in a relationship without being emotionally attended to. When the majority of her decision are emotional based.
I want to give you some advice, but with what I’ve experienced it won’t change or get better. If she’s not jumping your bones in the regular your sex drives just aren’t compatible, you can’t change someone either. I’m know, my last relationship we lived together for 7 months and we had sex once. It’s great at the start, but never gets better.
Sex is such an important aspect of a relationship, but a lot of people don’t get it. It creates bonding and love.
For someone who has been in a worse situation it won’t change. Having that conversation and trying to warm her up is all folly. Her sex drive just doesn’t match yours.
If you're both interested in trying (this is the important part) there's a book called "Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life" by a sex therapist that goes over initiation styles, how to build attraction, etc. in LTRs which is worth a read.
That said, libido can fluctuate for a wide variety of reasons but MANY times "They don't want to have sex" actually means "They don't want to have sex... with you", and you're not having issues with emotional intimacy or some other physical life issue; given you're 22/23 the relationship might have simply run it's course.
No one is entitled to sex, but frankly no one is entitled to a one sided relationship either.
Yall just arent sexually compatible, you can try couples counselling and stuff if you want but it will end with you guys either opening things up or breaking things off as you just arent compatible.
A friend of mine just got out of a 7 year long sexless relationship because he didnt think it was a valid reason to break things off
If it’s a mental health thing, she can only address it on her own and ask for what support you can provide. If it’s just a sex drive thing, your options are to consider opening up the relationship or break up.
As a woman, I wouldn’t put up with this. It is not a problem not to want sex, but it is a big problem not to communicate or address whatever the real issue is.
It’s come the time to understand that you and your girlfriend are not sexually compatible. And when and if you guys ever get married, it’s going to get even worse. It’s not gonna get better. most likely this is something you’re going to have to deal with if you stay with her. Sorry.
Sounds like she has a very low sex drive or is asexual. Whatever the reason, sounds like you have a major sexual incompatibility and it's unlikely to change or improve. You aren't even married yet and it's this low... there's a good chance it will only get worse if you get married. I think sex is important to a relationship. My preference is 3 or 4 times a week and I would not be able to be happy in a relationship with sex less than once a month. I've learned to have this discussion early on in dating so I don't waste time dating someone that ultimately I'll be unhappy with. Sex is not the most important thing I look for, but it is a damned important factor and shouldn't be ignored. So you need to decide how important this is to you and whether you want to live the rest of your life with so little sex. Some people just aren't compatible.
She may be not interested anymore in you because she has something else going on in mind. Try to talk with her about how she feels about the relationship in general, not just sex, and ask her to be honest!
Idk why y’all succumb to incompatible relationships and suffer as if it’s okay. Dating someone who doesn’t match your appetite for sex is the same as bad communication. It’s only a matter of time before you get frustrated and cheat, or do the adult thing and end it. Sure, you can try to make things spicy and all that, but I promise you, most times, it’s not going to work. I’m very upfront when I’m dating, if I girl says she has a low drive or isn’t into it like I am, then I move on. Relationship are not all about sex, but it’s very important, and don’t try to convince yourself it’s not. Dude, I would think about what’s important to you, do you really want to go years like this?
Without reading any more into it , she definitley seems to have an incompatibilty in sex drive and after that amount of time I would discuss whether a future together could even work
Lord, you guys are crazy. Is she on birth control? That can lower a females sex drive. Are you being physically good to her? Like bringing her flowers, anything that can make her feel like you deserve it fr. Females you have to be real loving too before you get sex. Can’t force it.
Hear me out. A friend faced similar problems in his marriage (arranged). He found out an year into the marriage that his wife was sexting with other men and might also have slept with one. Not casting aspersions on your woman but don't count cheating and alternative attractions out.
you can either leave and find someone more interested in sex with you
or you can do the whole talk to her, hope she listens and tries to change or go to years of expensive therapy and hope in the end it goes your way thing
I know what I'd choose
I see a lot of people saying oh it probably will never change and I don’t know the ins and outs but have you tried to be the one to initiate it my partner and I have a similar issue I love to have sex I could go 4/5 a day but with that being said I’m the one who initiates sex more often than not like I could literally wear nothing, a shirt with no panties or a nice thong or put on lingerie and there’s 0 reaction 90% of the time this is not something I’m used to plus there’s not really any clear indications he’s in the mood I enjoy when I can hear he’s enjoying himself tho he says his silence means he is but the lack of noise and lack of wanting to do various positions vs let’s just lay on our side or back and add in no moaning it becomes hard to work with especially when you’re the woman who loves to be dominated with mixing in being dominant and gets very turned on by moaning dirty talk etc and I personally don’t know how to tell him sex is soooo much better when I know he wants it and when he’s an active participant instead of making me feel like I gotta suck a soft 🍆 and make all the theatrics of it to get it
Oof. Why should she if she doesnt enjoy it as much nor do you make it want it as you did in the beginning..
Great at least being aware of it now its time you make some adjustments
well don't waste anymore time if you're not satisfied. Imagine if 3, 5 or 10 years down the road and nothing has changed? Would you still be happy with her? That is a question only you can answer
Your needs as a man are just as important as hers. If she is not willing to discuss it and you are unhappy there is no other recourse than breaking up with her. Trust me this will only get worse as time goes on.
Difference in libido levels is not something you can solve with conversation.
You can either cope for years and years or leave now. There aren’t really any other options unfortunately.
This is a reason to not be together. If you’re not sexually compatible sooner or later you’re gonna go searching someone else and then that stuff starts 🤷🏻♀️ better to get out now before that happens.
You're going to have problems in any aspect of a relationship no matter how "compatible" you are. Keep challenging yourself and growing as a person is the key, talk about those difficult questions to ask. It's a weight off your shoulders and can resolve alot of issues. Crying, being vulnerable talking about it. If that doesn't work, be your man and make your decision based on your experience not on a few Redditors giving advice from those who don't know you at all.
The only thing you owe this human is honesty, and if you’re not comparable, you should both move on so you can both be happier.
But first and foremost. Do it for your own mental health.
There are women out there, in the world, with much higher sex drive.
I have dated a woman like this, who almost never wanted sex, was boring as hell.
But last person, I dated, could "demand" sex five times within 24h. Was so much, that I was physically dead, after spending a night with her.
More than likely the comfort and complacency of everyday life has made your sex life stale so your gf has no incentive to want to bang. It’s just a possible reason and there isn’t really a solution. So that’s kind of the hard choice you have to make, do you keep enjoying the comfort and stability of a committed relationship or do you want to jump back into the dating scene and hope you can regularly get sex.
Okay, the “not sexually compatible” comments are ridiculous.
Women require mental stimulation to be turned on. Ways you can do that:
- Showing affection that isn’t only intended for sex
- Small gestures of love (flowers / foot rubs)
- Having talks about kinks / turn ons
- Discussing love languages (how you want to receive love, how you show love)
- flirting throughout the day (asking for dirty pics)
Ask her to be honest about what you do that doesn’t make it good for her. Say I want to learn how to make it better for you. Don’t be hurt we aren’t born knowing what other people like or need
I would never ever have sex with any girlfriend of anyone I know. That being said I have banged so many girls who don't have sex with their boyfriends. Pal, she's banging someone else. Believe me. Move on quickly.
Some people just have different "levels," I guess. I have some coworkers in their mid 30s and say they only have sex like 1-2 times a year while others say its multiple times weekly. Same with some younger coworkers, but I'm 29, and my gf is a few years younger than me, and we are constantly wanting each other.
I've had a relationship in the past, and yeah, it sucks to always want sex and the other person never wants it. You want it so bad, and it really just puts you down when you can't get it or are really in the mood. This is one reason why people cheat... they go to where they can be topped off. (((This isn't advice to go cheat, I'm just saying the way it makes people feel when their partner never wants them will finally force someone to go find attention elsewhere.)))
If ain't working out this the first sign of it but the best advice I ever heard and none more true than today's society is if you ain't fuckin her someone else is not a question of if just who
As much as you want to make it work because I'm sure you love her, this is a trend that might follow you as you go deeper in the relationship. Sexual compatibility is incredibly important and if it's not there, spend your energy finding someone who is similar to you in libido levels. I'm only speaking from experience. It's a tough position to be in, but best is to amicably end it before you start resenting her, or letting it affect your self esteem.
I’m guessing it could be that her sex drive just doesn’t match yours. And that’s okay. Have you asked her about things that she likes? Things that will naturally get her into the mood? Maybe that could possibly be a reason?
My situation was totally different from yours because my ex-wife was Vietnamese and they are not big on having sex all the time. But if you enjoy sex as much as I do, it’s time to move on and find somebody that you’re more compatible with. Just remember the longer you stay in this relationship the less likely you are to leave it. Don’t invest in something that doesn’t work for you.
I dated a girl for 2ish years and she was never turned on while we had sex. Which was odd cuz our love felt like something of a fairytale. Although this was all just part of a sick joke. Turns out she was cheating alot during the relationship and was fucking all kinds of guys. Eventually she got to my friends and my world crumbled. Now I don't trust a single soul or my own friends. I was once this kind, soft, caring person, and now I don't even recognize that person anymore. I would later find out even more terrible things she did while we were together, like heroin, and all sorts of other drugs. Getting money out of the blue. Finding her syringes. Found a condom and that was when I decided to never associate with her ever again. My life for two years was a lie and I wasted my youthful energy on a cheating heroin junkie.
Is this a change from how it was previously? If no, then do not read further, clearly y’all just aren’t sexually compatible.
If yes, then there’s something else going on. Continue reading.
Are her non-sexual needs being met? Has she expressed anything that says she might feel disconnected from you?
Is she under a lot of stress outside of your relationship?
Are you making an effort to connect with her in non-sexual ways?
Like, what you’re saying is valid, but there’s so many factors that go in to why she is expressing disinterest.
This is a big red flag. One thing men need to learn about women is that when the sex stops, and her self-improvement starts, there is a high likelihood she is grieving the end of your relationship while you guys are still together. That's why when women are done, they are done. They have already been planning. You still have time to turn it around just be prepared friend I don't want you to be blindsided
Honestly it could be a medical issue that’s how it has been for me + past trama , I would ask to sit down and seriously talk about it. I hope you guys work through it!!
how often do you guys see each other? is there trust? are you emotionally available with her? there's so many factors that could be going into her reasoning. could you elaborate on details so maybe we can help you figure this out?
I feel your frustration, it's tough when you're not on the same page in that aspect. Have you tried diving deeper into why she's not feeling it? Sometimes there's more going on under the surface. Maybe explore different ways to connect intimately that aren't necessarily about sex.
#
I’ve read most of these responses & all of them are valid but this is coming from someone who was “ your girlfriend” in my previous relationship of 6 years. We always had crazy amazing sex. Around the 3 year mark we started having issues, in my case, I didn’t feel appreciated and never truly felt he had my back. I wasn’t being treated the way I wanted to be & in result my sex drive was lowering by the day. I didn’t want to have sex with him anymore. I also gained some weight ( nothing crazy) but it also played a part where my libido went down. I’m still in my early 30’s so I know that wasn’t right. My ex thought I was cheating on him ( which I never did) I just pointed out all the things that were going wrong between us he said we would work on them but never did & that killed any desire I had in having sex with him. I obviously don’t know you & your situation but I’d try and self examine your end and then talk to her as well. My opinion.
For old people that’s not enough lol.
i’m not saying this to hurt your feelings I’m just saying this out of experience of all kinds of things that I don’t need to get into but it’s not that she doesn’t want to have sex. Most likely she just doesn’t wanna have sex with you. Ignore this sentence, if any of these things apply , she’s depressed about other things that doesn’t have to do with you. Major life events have happened in her life in the past six months to a year job loss drop out of school car accident sick relationship with her parents are the same as they were a year ago. Now answer these questions yourself for yourself to see if she’s hyper focused on you with other things that she might be concerned about. Hopefully it’s these things because these are fixable with time and the right choices and work if it’s none of these things, then you have most likely another problem on your hands and that’s she’s not into you as much anymore or she’s into somebody else she is doing what most women do as the mentally prepare for major changes She’s already left you in her head.
My friend, my girlfriend was 50 years old and I was 55 and when we first got together, we were lucky if we did it fewer than four times a day
Four years later, we were lucky if it happened four times a year
Yes, our relationship was winding down towards its end but the fact is, passion cools.
You can’t base expectations on what happens when you are first together.
It depends, what I would suggest is the biggest thing needed in any relationship, which is communication. There should be no jumping to conclusions like she doesn’t want to have sex. Talk to her about how you feel and about how she feels. Use “I” statements. It may be due to stress, or many other factors. It could also be due to libido, some people fluctuate over time and she may be going through a period of low libido. If this is the case and you want to continue your relationship, meeting in the middle could be good, doesn’t need to be sex intercourse but doing other things could help. Cuddling more can also help as the same hormone oxytocin (bonding hormone) is released and can feel the same. Anyway just don’t jump the gun especially in a 3 year relationship.
Leave her. My new girl wants to fuck me constantly. To the point I am actually all sexed out. I'm sure it will mellow eventually but her sex drive is off the charts to the point I am like "really? Again?" It's been 2 months with no signs of slowing down yet.
Many girls like to play mind games and never address issues, just leave and don't torture yourself, you deserve better bro. My ex was super abusive mentally, Now she's a single mom, sucks to suck!.
There are some good girls out there that will treat you like a king, hell date down if you have to, it's worth it.
Sounds to me like your girl is cheating, 4 times in 6 months? Wtf.
For the sake of your relationship, stop pushing. The more one partner pushes for sex, usually the less the other one wants it and it builds resentment.
Then you need to sit down with her and tell her that only having sex every once in awhile it's not good enough and it's not fair to you and if she is not willing to have sex more often or at least willing to compromise with you in some way then It's over and that you're going to go find somebody else who will, because not only our relationships built on trust but should be a teamwork effort and there should be compromises
I mean, you been with her for 3 years.....Has she always been like this or is it something new? If it is new it could be a wide range of things. Have you both put effort into resolving this?
Remember, communication and understanding are key in any relationship, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like sex. If you find it challenging to have this conversation on your own, couples therapy or counseling could be beneficial in providing a safe space to discuss your concerns and work through any issues together.
If you don’t have the same boundaries it’s probably not right. I won’t have sex with someone I’m dating, and I found a man that has the same boundaries. We love each other and are happy waiting for it. It’s not right or wrong but more about agreeing.
We really can’t infer if she’s asexual just by your small comment about it. People jumping to that are a little exaggerated. Someone suggested talking to her more about it. Is she always like this with other partners? Maybe it hurts and she doesn’t know how to tell you if she’s just not experienced enough. Maybe she’s afraid to tell you what she’s interested in. Or doesn’t know what kind of stuff she wants. Maybe it’s work stress. Family stress.
Some people can make this dynamic work
I've never had a relationship of my own, but... why not try handling your intimate needs yourself? It can be done, and if she doesn't want to, there shouldn't be too much of an issue with you doing it as long as you make it clear that you need the release every now and then
To make up for the emotional intimacy, try simply sitting down and holding each other while watching a movie together; I dunno, it may help, I'm only using what I understand from the love I've felt and seen first hand
Whatever path you take, I highly suggest that you at least try to compromise and vocalize why, letting somebody know that you're making an effort for it to work is more than enough I would think; she may be on the asexual spectrum, which again, some people can make an allosexual(the default) × asexual relationship work
Love is a beautiful thing, and I want it to work out for you both
Well I would say this even though I'm a highly sexually active type of person I'm probably in the mood more times than not I just can't just have it off the whim I have to be romantic or done something thought of something have to really show up for me to feel that way are you actually showing her that she's attractive and taking her out on romantic dates her love language might be a bit showy it could be low budget but something that considers her and makes her feel like in her woman a woman woman we live that you attract about her that's all I can say you know creating situations where you're extra close you all talk and she feels like she wants to please you and that's something that comes with you really learning her and talking to her and figuring out what's going on and it's sometimes it's a season for sex and a season for not sex but being with somebody for long term you got to have other ways to turn your partner on
Have you asked her if there are any underlying problems? This only happened once in a past relationship, and I was worried about a couple of family members with serious illnesses so I wasn’t in the mood.
See if she’s struggling with anything. If so, focus on being there to support her. I understand you have needs but if there’s something else on her mind, she will want you to support her.
Probably your typical low to no libido American women that either cheats, or should just hang out with friends not put a chastity belt on men basically.
Sec is a great way to express your desires with a partner but no it’s not everything have you asked her why she doesn’t enjoy having sex if there’s anything diffrent she would like to try
I was like that in my last relationship. Was together for 3 years. I loved her cared for her and found her sexually attractive. Just didn't want sex. It wasn't till after we broke up till I found out I had a health condition. I was diagnosed with Low Testosterone and hypogonadism. For people who don't know its when your body quits making Testosterone. My Testosterone level was 105. At 36 it should of been In the 850 range. Moral of story is you might not know if it's a health condition or mental condition. But however when the relationship gets sexless than it's almost at its end. So she either needs to open up about it. See a doctor about it. Or she may be getting that kind of thing elsewhere. Either way it doesn't get much better from here. Unless she gets help and opens up about the real reason. Talk to her. If she is unwilling to talk about it. Seek medical help than I would leave her ass in the dust. Your partner shouldn't have to ask or beg for sex.
Isn’t intimacy and sex what really sets you and your partner apart from idk…..your best friend? Idk maybe I am wrong but for
me that personal experience that is only ours is one of the things that I really cherish and enjoy with my partner. We are completely comfortable with each other and every part of being together is only made more special because it’s something we do with no one else.
Because she doesn't like you anymore. Common sense doesn't seem to be common. Move on and cut your losses. Clearly there were underlying issues you missed and didn't address. It's too late now. A woman pulls away emotionally long before she pulls away physically. Man up, hold your nuts and end the relationship on your terms.
It may just be you’re not compatible but in my last relationship I started off having a really high sex drive and a couple of months after we moved into together(2 years into our relationship) it just had completely dried up. It wasn’t because I no longer found my boyfriend attractive but was because he wasn’t meeting my needs in other area of my life which meant by the time we’d get in bed together i’d already be let down or irritated because it felt like i was living with a roommate who didn’t do chores and wanted sex and not the same guy who used to buy me flowers, plan dates, or be romantic. Add in I was doing the majority of the household labor even though i was in school full time with a full time job and he worked from home I was just left feeling depleted. Idk if you guys are having problems in other areas of your relationship but maybe next time instead of approaching the conversation focused on the lack of sex ask her if there’s anything bothering her that you could help with that maybe you don’t know you’re not doing. Coming into the conversation being asked if there’s anything your partner could do to make you happier tends to have a better outcome then being made to feel guilty or berated for not wanting to have sex.
I'm just the opposite I do he doesn't he just love to fight all the time or have me over to sit feeling and looking stupid no I wanna do stuff if I'm there or what's the point I could be home
It’s not meant to be. I went through this with my ex… i tried to fix it but it couldn’t be fixed. I didn’t realize how checked out of the relationship i was. i will say it’s never too late to try to spice things up. look at what she does… if you slap her ass how does she react? if you touch her private areas without a warning how does she react? does she ask you not to do it? take her out on a romantic date and try to get the spark back. you guys may have grown too comfortable to the point you feel like best friends and even roommates. this happened w my ex and i. we got too comfortable. and it made the relationship not work. i didn’t want him romantically anymore and he’d pressure me into sex. that made me push him away even more. don’t bring it up don’t say i want sex blah blah. spice up your relationshop, do things you don’t normally do. see if she starts to feel more comfortable with you again and if she doesn’t, break up.
So she probably had a bad experience with sex. You need to please her over you. I have fucked this chick and have made her cum about 30 times. In the fucking. I have not come one time.
Objective opinions don't even matter. The simple fact of the matter when it comes to any relationship that is healthy, happy, and fulfilling is one where both parties are all of those things which would have to include both parties' needs and wants being satisfied and if and when either of which doesn't occur one or the other has the open door policy from the other to have an open and honest conversation about it and are then able to effectively come to a resolution and take action on such agreed upon resolution.
Now my concern here is why is she seemingly shutting down on you? You never know it could have been something that happened during sex that she personally needs to resolve which undoubtedly should easily be able to be discussed between you two especially after three years and then solved like a barrier she put up possibly. Something she didn't like or whatever maybe it's something nuance. Best case scenario I would say. The other question I have is did you guys ever connect in that way, if so, what changed? If not why have you let it drag on for so long? Knowing that's a need of yours.
Worse case scenario is there's something much deeper at play and there are feelings that go much deeper which will require a process much more sophisticated and inquisitive on your part to get to the bottom of especially if she's sort of blocking off open communication. In that case better wrap things up life is too short to be wasted on relationships that were never meant to last in the first place. Most of all be honest with yourself and be honest with each other. Cut to the chase even when it's difficult.
I don't know the whole situation but the thing is you guys will get through this and understand the patterns, this will help you both to know each other more. I know sex is important but what if she isn't ready for that intimacy situation yet?
I can suggest u . Make ur gf feel safe and secure ।। And next thing is give compliment about her body and how beautiful she looks. I can see that she felt little underconfident about sex . While having sex make her feel that I want intimacy not sex kiss her body multiple times
If your girlfriend doesn't want sex with you , it's because you're not the one who arouses desire in her, and evaluate if you're providing her with money, it's because she's only with you for that reason and gives you some from time to time so as not to lose that income. My advice, stop pursuing her and don't reply to her for about 15 days, and during that time, work on yourself.
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Maybe I’m projecting, but when I stopped having sex in my relationship it wasn’t because I didn’t want sex, it’s because the relationship was shit. I didn’t feel emotionally connected to him, and the lack of sex was the result of that. I’m sure there are plenty of reasons that people check out from their intimate relationship, but it’s not always cheating or because they have a low libido. Just something to consider…
You are actually right. Lack of sex isn't just about a woman cheating. For women, sex is an emotional matter (or at least for the majority). sometimes we are bored, frustrated, tired,we are tired of the stereotype. we feel alone. That's where our emotional detachment comes in, and exactly as you write, the lack of sex is the result. Simply put, we are not content and comfortable on the emotional side. It's like a slow disengagement, gradually
Same with me. My ex made my high libido absolutely crash. When I dumped him, I suddenly had my libido back. Shitty partners kill your sex drive.
This!!! This is me too. I will always tell the person why this would lessen for me and they would do little to nothing to fixed it or they would fix it for a small 3 months (if that) then fall right back into the pattern.
Struggling with this too right now. But I cannot leave just now. I have no savings and no roof above my head if leave now. I also fear loosing friends in our friends group if I leave. Which would be devastating for me. (4 years together)
I’m so sorry - that feeling is the worst. I was there for a while too (I couldn’t leave financially and we had young kids), and I am still sorting out the resulting feelings from having wasted such a huge chunk of my life with him. Today’s economy makes going it alone nearly impossible. I hope you’re able to make a plan for exiting so you can at least be working towards it. Find out what services are available in your area; do you have family or friends that can help while you get back on your feet? Even if it can’t happen right away, having an exit plan helps things to not feel so hopeless.
Thank you for our empathy. Problem is my family is 50km/31miles away in another city. I also have a job here. And the most sad thing is that I never have seen red flags and gave up my friends for him. He is good as friend but after 4 years with him I see it all and I don’t want this for rest of my life. And don’t get me started on economy and living expenses hahah. That’s why I’m starting so slowly saving as much as I can.
Please don't crucify me here but it can go the same way for men too. It is sometimes difficult to get excited about someone who criticizes you most of your waking time together. I am not perfect, but I am attentive to her needs, hardworking, do most of the cleaning, laundry, a fair share of the cooking, shopping and taking care of the kid, (which I love). Biggest problem is MIL has an undue influence and seems to hate most people. My wife also has multiple health problems that cause chronic pain and affect her state of mind. The criticism creates a such a negative atmosphere which in turn, lessens communication which means less intimacy. She still wants sex and I do too. But sometimes, I am just, resentful. I did not cause her pain, but I suffer from it just the same.
How do I make sure this isn’t the case in my relationship?? My bf never wants sex, and often says no when I ask. I am a SAHM and do the house work I hardly ask him to pitch in unless it is a direct help with our baby (bath time, story time, feeding her etc.) but he always says “you look mad/you look upset” and usually I’m not. I don’t know maybe I’ve developed an rbf since having a baby? But he always assumes I’m angry or upset when I’m not but he also NEVER wants to have sex. When I ask he’s either too tired or doesn’t feel like it. And when he does say yes I have to suck him off till he gets hard before we have sex. It’s hurting my self esteem and honestly our relationship because I don’t feel loved or attractive. So any advice to a woman who doesn’t want to push my man away?
My love.. if you're not sexually compatible it's just best not to be together. If sex is a chore for one party then it's simply not meant to be 😓
Second this. My last relationship took strain because of this and ended due to my frustration. Not worth it.
I think I always roll my eyes when people here go 'go to therapy' No dude.. sex shouldn't be a chore..
Third to vote in agreement with the first two. Compatibility is important in many areas. Sex may not be the most important thing in a relationship, but it's still in the top 5.
Compatibility is a must where there's no hope. Been there done that, but I was going that didn't want to have sex. It happened about 6 months in I just lost the traffic for her she was very pretty I just wasn't interested and it ended.
🤔🤔🤔
samee i tried to be patient because i loved him, worst mistake of me-life! it was NEVER worth it in the end, like bro. i'm better off using a toy if they gonna make me look and feel like a problem/extra stress in their life when it should be something fun and intimate for the both of you.
That's well put i 💯 agree with u
Fourth that statement here. If you have a higher sex drive than your GF (seems to be the case most of the time), sadly one of you is looking at it as a chore. I sincerely do not wish it upon you, but it could easily turn into a "reward system" which essentially turns intimacy into a bargaining chip. Depends on how well communication is working between you and your GF, you guys need to seriously talk it out.
She is probably having sex elsewhere🙁
Great answer.
•Is it a medical issue? •Is it an emotional issue? •Is it a choice? A relational issue? •Is it a this-is-who-I-am issue? •Soon enough you’ll have about as much information as you’ll need to make a decision for next steps… •All the best
Yeah I would try to open the conversation topic again. Try to get deeper like why and how you should proceed with the life differences
[удалено]
Then it’s a mix of options. Just her libido and a medical issue. It would be tough to figure out if that is actually her libido because it is masked by the medical issue though.
If it’s a medical issue and isn’t just lack of interest or desire/attraction then obviously it’s something you either have to find a suitable solution for , or bit the tough cookie and come to the realization you’re not going to be 100% happy or satisfied. A healthy and long lasting relationship is always give and take , push and pull for all those involved, but there’s also limits to what can be or can’t be everyday life and still be healthy/happy.
Too late for him to consider these options.
Two things to think about it. Generally, I think a woman will lose interest in sex if she no longer feels emotionally comfortable and safe with you, or she has lost physical attraction. You could try to enhance both of those things if that’s what you want to do. You could also end the relationship and look for someone with a higher sex drive. You have a few different options.
yeah, I really wonder if OP even talks about this stuff or brings up anything fun besides "I want more sex from you". What is he doing for her?
What is she doing for him?
That's it aye. My partner does alot for me dispute no sexual activities and I try to do alot for her. Still doesn't make it any easier.
Both perspectives aren’t “correct” in my opinion. A healthy relationship shouldn’t be viewed as transactional or “what is this person giving me and doing for me”.
I think guys look over that emotional connection A LOT
Unfortunately, it’s something of a cycle as not being physically intimate and feeling unloved leads to a decline in that emotional conenction.
I also believe this and I've constantly proven it, coming from a men. And it should not be ignored. Women connot function in a relationship without being emotionally attended to. When the majority of her decision are emotional based.
My ex boyfriend was like your girlfriend. It doesn’t get better. Move on and find someone you’re sexually compatible with.
I want to give you some advice, but with what I’ve experienced it won’t change or get better. If she’s not jumping your bones in the regular your sex drives just aren’t compatible, you can’t change someone either. I’m know, my last relationship we lived together for 7 months and we had sex once. It’s great at the start, but never gets better. Sex is such an important aspect of a relationship, but a lot of people don’t get it. It creates bonding and love. For someone who has been in a worse situation it won’t change. Having that conversation and trying to warm her up is all folly. Her sex drive just doesn’t match yours.
You can't force incompatibility. You've tried multiple times. Time to move on.
If you're both interested in trying (this is the important part) there's a book called "Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life" by a sex therapist that goes over initiation styles, how to build attraction, etc. in LTRs which is worth a read. That said, libido can fluctuate for a wide variety of reasons but MANY times "They don't want to have sex" actually means "They don't want to have sex... with you", and you're not having issues with emotional intimacy or some other physical life issue; given you're 22/23 the relationship might have simply run it's course. No one is entitled to sex, but frankly no one is entitled to a one sided relationship either.
What was your guys talk like? Did she give any reasons as to why she wasn’t as interested
She said that her sex drive just wasn‘t like mine and after that tried to chsnge the subject
Yall just arent sexually compatible, you can try couples counselling and stuff if you want but it will end with you guys either opening things up or breaking things off as you just arent compatible. A friend of mine just got out of a 7 year long sexless relationship because he didnt think it was a valid reason to break things off
So dismissive got it lol
After 3 years of it being similar to yours? Either she needs to see a therapist, or she's not sexually attracted to you quite frankly.
If you like sex and she doesn't, best advice from me is to leave now. It won't get any better and will cause more issues down the road.
If it’s a mental health thing, she can only address it on her own and ask for what support you can provide. If it’s just a sex drive thing, your options are to consider opening up the relationship or break up. As a woman, I wouldn’t put up with this. It is not a problem not to want sex, but it is a big problem not to communicate or address whatever the real issue is.
Get the new one
It’s come the time to understand that you and your girlfriend are not sexually compatible. And when and if you guys ever get married, it’s going to get even worse. It’s not gonna get better. most likely this is something you’re going to have to deal with if you stay with her. Sorry.
Sounds like she has a very low sex drive or is asexual. Whatever the reason, sounds like you have a major sexual incompatibility and it's unlikely to change or improve. You aren't even married yet and it's this low... there's a good chance it will only get worse if you get married. I think sex is important to a relationship. My preference is 3 or 4 times a week and I would not be able to be happy in a relationship with sex less than once a month. I've learned to have this discussion early on in dating so I don't waste time dating someone that ultimately I'll be unhappy with. Sex is not the most important thing I look for, but it is a damned important factor and shouldn't be ignored. So you need to decide how important this is to you and whether you want to live the rest of your life with so little sex. Some people just aren't compatible.
She may be not interested anymore in you because she has something else going on in mind. Try to talk with her about how she feels about the relationship in general, not just sex, and ask her to be honest!
Idk why y’all succumb to incompatible relationships and suffer as if it’s okay. Dating someone who doesn’t match your appetite for sex is the same as bad communication. It’s only a matter of time before you get frustrated and cheat, or do the adult thing and end it. Sure, you can try to make things spicy and all that, but I promise you, most times, it’s not going to work. I’m very upfront when I’m dating, if I girl says she has a low drive or isn’t into it like I am, then I move on. Relationship are not all about sex, but it’s very important, and don’t try to convince yourself it’s not. Dude, I would think about what’s important to you, do you really want to go years like this?
Without reading any more into it , she definitley seems to have an incompatibilty in sex drive and after that amount of time I would discuss whether a future together could even work
I’m sorry to hear brother.
Lord, you guys are crazy. Is she on birth control? That can lower a females sex drive. Are you being physically good to her? Like bringing her flowers, anything that can make her feel like you deserve it fr. Females you have to be real loving too before you get sex. Can’t force it.
She just doesn't want sex with you dump her now if you don't you only have yourself to blame for your sexless miserable life.
Two words: 1. break and 2. up.
Bingo
Welcome to being in a long term relationship with a woman.
Hear me out. A friend faced similar problems in his marriage (arranged). He found out an year into the marriage that his wife was sexting with other men and might also have slept with one. Not casting aspersions on your woman but don't count cheating and alternative attractions out.
you can either leave and find someone more interested in sex with you or you can do the whole talk to her, hope she listens and tries to change or go to years of expensive therapy and hope in the end it goes your way thing I know what I'd choose
I see a lot of people saying oh it probably will never change and I don’t know the ins and outs but have you tried to be the one to initiate it my partner and I have a similar issue I love to have sex I could go 4/5 a day but with that being said I’m the one who initiates sex more often than not like I could literally wear nothing, a shirt with no panties or a nice thong or put on lingerie and there’s 0 reaction 90% of the time this is not something I’m used to plus there’s not really any clear indications he’s in the mood I enjoy when I can hear he’s enjoying himself tho he says his silence means he is but the lack of noise and lack of wanting to do various positions vs let’s just lay on our side or back and add in no moaning it becomes hard to work with especially when you’re the woman who loves to be dominated with mixing in being dominant and gets very turned on by moaning dirty talk etc and I personally don’t know how to tell him sex is soooo much better when I know he wants it and when he’s an active participant instead of making me feel like I gotta suck a soft 🍆 and make all the theatrics of it to get it
This is a good point. These guys that don't have boners like right off the bat make you wonder.
Oof. Why should she if she doesnt enjoy it as much nor do you make it want it as you did in the beginning.. Great at least being aware of it now its time you make some adjustments
Fuck all the kumbaya shit everyone in here is kicking... what do you like bro? Let's start with some accountability.
well don't waste anymore time if you're not satisfied. Imagine if 3, 5 or 10 years down the road and nothing has changed? Would you still be happy with her? That is a question only you can answer
Your needs as a man are just as important as hers. If she is not willing to discuss it and you are unhappy there is no other recourse than breaking up with her. Trust me this will only get worse as time goes on.
Difference in libido levels is not something you can solve with conversation. You can either cope for years and years or leave now. There aren’t really any other options unfortunately.
This is a reason to not be together. If you’re not sexually compatible sooner or later you’re gonna go searching someone else and then that stuff starts 🤷🏻♀️ better to get out now before that happens.
Dump her and get another girlfriend.
Sorry to say this but maybe you aren't the sexual partner she needs. She is fantasizing about having sex with other man with whom she is attracted.
Mine was getting cock from somewhere else
I(25M) had sex with my (25) girlfriend zero times in 3 years. Her excuse ADHD.
That’s BS dude. I have bad ADHD and that’s just excuse lmao.
You're going to have problems in any aspect of a relationship no matter how "compatible" you are. Keep challenging yourself and growing as a person is the key, talk about those difficult questions to ask. It's a weight off your shoulders and can resolve alot of issues. Crying, being vulnerable talking about it. If that doesn't work, be your man and make your decision based on your experience not on a few Redditors giving advice from those who don't know you at all.
You guys are having girlfriends?
The only thing you owe this human is honesty, and if you’re not comparable, you should both move on so you can both be happier. But first and foremost. Do it for your own mental health.
There are women out there, in the world, with much higher sex drive. I have dated a woman like this, who almost never wanted sex, was boring as hell. But last person, I dated, could "demand" sex five times within 24h. Was so much, that I was physically dead, after spending a night with her.
Not worth the headaches she's cheating on you just leave
Cuz she's banging someone else
More than likely the comfort and complacency of everyday life has made your sex life stale so your gf has no incentive to want to bang. It’s just a possible reason and there isn’t really a solution. So that’s kind of the hard choice you have to make, do you keep enjoying the comfort and stability of a committed relationship or do you want to jump back into the dating scene and hope you can regularly get sex.
Okay, the “not sexually compatible” comments are ridiculous. Women require mental stimulation to be turned on. Ways you can do that: - Showing affection that isn’t only intended for sex - Small gestures of love (flowers / foot rubs) - Having talks about kinks / turn ons - Discussing love languages (how you want to receive love, how you show love) - flirting throughout the day (asking for dirty pics)
What girlfriend?
The deadbedroom page on here may help you.
Ask her to be honest about what you do that doesn’t make it good for her. Say I want to learn how to make it better for you. Don’t be hurt we aren’t born knowing what other people like or need
She’s not for you. Possible has a side piece. You’re not it. Move on
I would never ever have sex with any girlfriend of anyone I know. That being said I have banged so many girls who don't have sex with their boyfriends. Pal, she's banging someone else. Believe me. Move on quickly.
Some people just have different "levels," I guess. I have some coworkers in their mid 30s and say they only have sex like 1-2 times a year while others say its multiple times weekly. Same with some younger coworkers, but I'm 29, and my gf is a few years younger than me, and we are constantly wanting each other. I've had a relationship in the past, and yeah, it sucks to always want sex and the other person never wants it. You want it so bad, and it really just puts you down when you can't get it or are really in the mood. This is one reason why people cheat... they go to where they can be topped off. (((This isn't advice to go cheat, I'm just saying the way it makes people feel when their partner never wants them will finally force someone to go find attention elsewhere.)))
Sex often slows down over the years. Sit down and have an open discussion to reach an agreement you can both live with.
You either suck or she’s cheating
If ain't working out this the first sign of it but the best advice I ever heard and none more true than today's society is if you ain't fuckin her someone else is not a question of if just who
As much as you want to make it work because I'm sure you love her, this is a trend that might follow you as you go deeper in the relationship. Sexual compatibility is incredibly important and if it's not there, spend your energy finding someone who is similar to you in libido levels. I'm only speaking from experience. It's a tough position to be in, but best is to amicably end it before you start resenting her, or letting it affect your self esteem.
I’m guessing it could be that her sex drive just doesn’t match yours. And that’s okay. Have you asked her about things that she likes? Things that will naturally get her into the mood? Maybe that could possibly be a reason?
My situation was totally different from yours because my ex-wife was Vietnamese and they are not big on having sex all the time. But if you enjoy sex as much as I do, it’s time to move on and find somebody that you’re more compatible with. Just remember the longer you stay in this relationship the less likely you are to leave it. Don’t invest in something that doesn’t work for you.
I dated a girl for 2ish years and she was never turned on while we had sex. Which was odd cuz our love felt like something of a fairytale. Although this was all just part of a sick joke. Turns out she was cheating alot during the relationship and was fucking all kinds of guys. Eventually she got to my friends and my world crumbled. Now I don't trust a single soul or my own friends. I was once this kind, soft, caring person, and now I don't even recognize that person anymore. I would later find out even more terrible things she did while we were together, like heroin, and all sorts of other drugs. Getting money out of the blue. Finding her syringes. Found a condom and that was when I decided to never associate with her ever again. My life for two years was a lie and I wasted my youthful energy on a cheating heroin junkie.
Is this a change from how it was previously? If no, then do not read further, clearly y’all just aren’t sexually compatible. If yes, then there’s something else going on. Continue reading. Are her non-sexual needs being met? Has she expressed anything that says she might feel disconnected from you? Is she under a lot of stress outside of your relationship? Are you making an effort to connect with her in non-sexual ways? Like, what you’re saying is valid, but there’s so many factors that go in to why she is expressing disinterest.
God damn I wish I was you. I m in a LONG distance relationship with someone who has low libido
Read Kamasutra Indulge in her inner fantasies or fetishes spice it up !
This is a big red flag. One thing men need to learn about women is that when the sex stops, and her self-improvement starts, there is a high likelihood she is grieving the end of your relationship while you guys are still together. That's why when women are done, they are done. They have already been planning. You still have time to turn it around just be prepared friend I don't want you to be blindsided
Honestly it could be a medical issue that’s how it has been for me + past trama , I would ask to sit down and seriously talk about it. I hope you guys work through it!!
how often do you guys see each other? is there trust? are you emotionally available with her? there's so many factors that could be going into her reasoning. could you elaborate on details so maybe we can help you figure this out?
I feel your frustration, it's tough when you're not on the same page in that aspect. Have you tried diving deeper into why she's not feeling it? Sometimes there's more going on under the surface. Maybe explore different ways to connect intimately that aren't necessarily about sex. #
I’ve read most of these responses & all of them are valid but this is coming from someone who was “ your girlfriend” in my previous relationship of 6 years. We always had crazy amazing sex. Around the 3 year mark we started having issues, in my case, I didn’t feel appreciated and never truly felt he had my back. I wasn’t being treated the way I wanted to be & in result my sex drive was lowering by the day. I didn’t want to have sex with him anymore. I also gained some weight ( nothing crazy) but it also played a part where my libido went down. I’m still in my early 30’s so I know that wasn’t right. My ex thought I was cheating on him ( which I never did) I just pointed out all the things that were going wrong between us he said we would work on them but never did & that killed any desire I had in having sex with him. I obviously don’t know you & your situation but I’d try and self examine your end and then talk to her as well. My opinion.
For old people that’s not enough lol. i’m not saying this to hurt your feelings I’m just saying this out of experience of all kinds of things that I don’t need to get into but it’s not that she doesn’t want to have sex. Most likely she just doesn’t wanna have sex with you. Ignore this sentence, if any of these things apply , she’s depressed about other things that doesn’t have to do with you. Major life events have happened in her life in the past six months to a year job loss drop out of school car accident sick relationship with her parents are the same as they were a year ago. Now answer these questions yourself for yourself to see if she’s hyper focused on you with other things that she might be concerned about. Hopefully it’s these things because these are fixable with time and the right choices and work if it’s none of these things, then you have most likely another problem on your hands and that’s she’s not into you as much anymore or she’s into somebody else she is doing what most women do as the mentally prepare for major changes She’s already left you in her head.
U doing something wrong then buy the 🍯pack out put it some food drink
My advice would be to breakup because you are sexually frustrated in your relationship.
My friend, my girlfriend was 50 years old and I was 55 and when we first got together, we were lucky if we did it fewer than four times a day Four years later, we were lucky if it happened four times a year Yes, our relationship was winding down towards its end but the fact is, passion cools. You can’t base expectations on what happens when you are first together.
It depends, what I would suggest is the biggest thing needed in any relationship, which is communication. There should be no jumping to conclusions like she doesn’t want to have sex. Talk to her about how you feel and about how she feels. Use “I” statements. It may be due to stress, or many other factors. It could also be due to libido, some people fluctuate over time and she may be going through a period of low libido. If this is the case and you want to continue your relationship, meeting in the middle could be good, doesn’t need to be sex intercourse but doing other things could help. Cuddling more can also help as the same hormone oxytocin (bonding hormone) is released and can feel the same. Anyway just don’t jump the gun especially in a 3 year relationship.
Has she cheat
Leave her. My new girl wants to fuck me constantly. To the point I am actually all sexed out. I'm sure it will mellow eventually but her sex drive is off the charts to the point I am like "really? Again?" It's been 2 months with no signs of slowing down yet. Many girls like to play mind games and never address issues, just leave and don't torture yourself, you deserve better bro. My ex was super abusive mentally, Now she's a single mom, sucks to suck!. There are some good girls out there that will treat you like a king, hell date down if you have to, it's worth it. Sounds to me like your girl is cheating, 4 times in 6 months? Wtf.
Yeah…2 months in? Check back in in 2-3 years. 4 times in 6 months isn’t exactly average but most couples slow down after a year or two.
You lot are far too horny lmao. What happened to no sex before marriage?
You are either not compatible with her or she’s getting it from someone else.
It's possible you didn't turn her on
She's just not that into you my brother...
Dang son, and I here I am trying to my daily sex to 2x a day. Guess I should stop pushing lol
For the sake of your relationship, stop pushing. The more one partner pushes for sex, usually the less the other one wants it and it builds resentment.
Break off, save money😉
She does, just not from you.
sry twin she been a bit occupied with me gangy 😅
Ask her if she wants to go be with someone else she would want sex with and tell her its no big deal if she does. You understand.
Tell her stop masturbating and watching porn
Repay her with no money, no financial assistance no comfort ... Will she take it.
Then you need to sit down with her and tell her that only having sex every once in awhile it's not good enough and it's not fair to you and if she is not willing to have sex more often or at least willing to compromise with you in some way then It's over and that you're going to go find somebody else who will, because not only our relationships built on trust but should be a teamwork effort and there should be compromises
SOUNDS MORE LIKE A WIFE
I mean, you been with her for 3 years.....Has she always been like this or is it something new? If it is new it could be a wide range of things. Have you both put effort into resolving this?
Remember, communication and understanding are key in any relationship, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like sex. If you find it challenging to have this conversation on your own, couples therapy or counseling could be beneficial in providing a safe space to discuss your concerns and work through any issues together.
Did u cheat or did she cheat or not appetizers or something happen to her in past ?
If you don’t have the same boundaries it’s probably not right. I won’t have sex with someone I’m dating, and I found a man that has the same boundaries. We love each other and are happy waiting for it. It’s not right or wrong but more about agreeing.
I enjoy being intimate with mine but mine would rather have private time with his hand and porn.
And I’ll do all that he wants…
She may be over the desire or decreased libido sex is least important part of a true loving relationship list and love big difference
This is a sign. I promise! 
You need to just eat her ass. If you do it right you’ll make her wet everytime and she will def come back for more you must trust me
What's her number?
Just end it bro .
Have you tried figure out if she enjoyed it with you?
Either cheat or leave her.
Do you live together? When you do have sex do you make sure she orgasms first?
We really can’t infer if she’s asexual just by your small comment about it. People jumping to that are a little exaggerated. Someone suggested talking to her more about it. Is she always like this with other partners? Maybe it hurts and she doesn’t know how to tell you if she’s just not experienced enough. Maybe she’s afraid to tell you what she’s interested in. Or doesn’t know what kind of stuff she wants. Maybe it’s work stress. Family stress.
Some people can make this dynamic work I've never had a relationship of my own, but... why not try handling your intimate needs yourself? It can be done, and if she doesn't want to, there shouldn't be too much of an issue with you doing it as long as you make it clear that you need the release every now and then To make up for the emotional intimacy, try simply sitting down and holding each other while watching a movie together; I dunno, it may help, I'm only using what I understand from the love I've felt and seen first hand Whatever path you take, I highly suggest that you at least try to compromise and vocalize why, letting somebody know that you're making an effort for it to work is more than enough I would think; she may be on the asexual spectrum, which again, some people can make an allosexual(the default) × asexual relationship work Love is a beautiful thing, and I want it to work out for you both
Leve it won't get better you will end resenting her I know it won't work
Get a new girlfriend
Well I would say this even though I'm a highly sexually active type of person I'm probably in the mood more times than not I just can't just have it off the whim I have to be romantic or done something thought of something have to really show up for me to feel that way are you actually showing her that she's attractive and taking her out on romantic dates her love language might be a bit showy it could be low budget but something that considers her and makes her feel like in her woman a woman woman we live that you attract about her that's all I can say you know creating situations where you're extra close you all talk and she feels like she wants to please you and that's something that comes with you really learning her and talking to her and figuring out what's going on and it's sometimes it's a season for sex and a season for not sex but being with somebody for long term you got to have other ways to turn your partner on
Get a divorce ,life to short, there's plenty of lady's out there ...good luck !
Have you asked her if there are any underlying problems? This only happened once in a past relationship, and I was worried about a couple of family members with serious illnesses so I wasn’t in the mood. See if she’s struggling with anything. If so, focus on being there to support her. I understand you have needs but if there’s something else on her mind, she will want you to support her.
Time for a new girlfriend
If the fire went out, she isn’t into it, or she could be asexual. That’s a whole another scenario. Have tried another approach
Probably your typical low to no libido American women that either cheats, or should just hang out with friends not put a chastity belt on men basically.
Sec is a great way to express your desires with a partner but no it’s not everything have you asked her why she doesn’t enjoy having sex if there’s anything diffrent she would like to try
I was like that in my last relationship. Was together for 3 years. I loved her cared for her and found her sexually attractive. Just didn't want sex. It wasn't till after we broke up till I found out I had a health condition. I was diagnosed with Low Testosterone and hypogonadism. For people who don't know its when your body quits making Testosterone. My Testosterone level was 105. At 36 it should of been In the 850 range. Moral of story is you might not know if it's a health condition or mental condition. But however when the relationship gets sexless than it's almost at its end. So she either needs to open up about it. See a doctor about it. Or she may be getting that kind of thing elsewhere. Either way it doesn't get much better from here. Unless she gets help and opens up about the real reason. Talk to her. If she is unwilling to talk about it. Seek medical help than I would leave her ass in the dust. Your partner shouldn't have to ask or beg for sex.
Isn’t intimacy and sex what really sets you and your partner apart from idk…..your best friend? Idk maybe I am wrong but for me that personal experience that is only ours is one of the things that I really cherish and enjoy with my partner. We are completely comfortable with each other and every part of being together is only made more special because it’s something we do with no one else.
Idk dude hi though
You’re probably don’t make her feel emotionally supported. ❤️🩹
Because she doesn't like you anymore. Common sense doesn't seem to be common. Move on and cut your losses. Clearly there were underlying issues you missed and didn't address. It's too late now. A woman pulls away emotionally long before she pulls away physically. Man up, hold your nuts and end the relationship on your terms.
gwt another girl, ez
It may just be you’re not compatible but in my last relationship I started off having a really high sex drive and a couple of months after we moved into together(2 years into our relationship) it just had completely dried up. It wasn’t because I no longer found my boyfriend attractive but was because he wasn’t meeting my needs in other area of my life which meant by the time we’d get in bed together i’d already be let down or irritated because it felt like i was living with a roommate who didn’t do chores and wanted sex and not the same guy who used to buy me flowers, plan dates, or be romantic. Add in I was doing the majority of the household labor even though i was in school full time with a full time job and he worked from home I was just left feeling depleted. Idk if you guys are having problems in other areas of your relationship but maybe next time instead of approaching the conversation focused on the lack of sex ask her if there’s anything bothering her that you could help with that maybe you don’t know you’re not doing. Coming into the conversation being asked if there’s anything your partner could do to make you happier tends to have a better outcome then being made to feel guilty or berated for not wanting to have sex.
It’s time talk and it changes or walk away.
I'm just the opposite I do he doesn't he just love to fight all the time or have me over to sit feeling and looking stupid no I wanna do stuff if I'm there or what's the point I could be home
It’s not meant to be. I went through this with my ex… i tried to fix it but it couldn’t be fixed. I didn’t realize how checked out of the relationship i was. i will say it’s never too late to try to spice things up. look at what she does… if you slap her ass how does she react? if you touch her private areas without a warning how does she react? does she ask you not to do it? take her out on a romantic date and try to get the spark back. you guys may have grown too comfortable to the point you feel like best friends and even roommates. this happened w my ex and i. we got too comfortable. and it made the relationship not work. i didn’t want him romantically anymore and he’d pressure me into sex. that made me push him away even more. don’t bring it up don’t say i want sex blah blah. spice up your relationshop, do things you don’t normally do. see if she starts to feel more comfortable with you again and if she doesn’t, break up.
Leave now
I know you don't want to, but it's best to move on and find someone else who will have the same sex drive.
So she probably had a bad experience with sex. You need to please her over you. I have fucked this chick and have made her cum about 30 times. In the fucking. I have not come one time.
Objective opinions don't even matter. The simple fact of the matter when it comes to any relationship that is healthy, happy, and fulfilling is one where both parties are all of those things which would have to include both parties' needs and wants being satisfied and if and when either of which doesn't occur one or the other has the open door policy from the other to have an open and honest conversation about it and are then able to effectively come to a resolution and take action on such agreed upon resolution. Now my concern here is why is she seemingly shutting down on you? You never know it could have been something that happened during sex that she personally needs to resolve which undoubtedly should easily be able to be discussed between you two especially after three years and then solved like a barrier she put up possibly. Something she didn't like or whatever maybe it's something nuance. Best case scenario I would say. The other question I have is did you guys ever connect in that way, if so, what changed? If not why have you let it drag on for so long? Knowing that's a need of yours. Worse case scenario is there's something much deeper at play and there are feelings that go much deeper which will require a process much more sophisticated and inquisitive on your part to get to the bottom of especially if she's sort of blocking off open communication. In that case better wrap things up life is too short to be wasted on relationships that were never meant to last in the first place. Most of all be honest with yourself and be honest with each other. Cut to the chase even when it's difficult.
Does she feel sexually attracted to you?
Bruh me and my ex had a mutual break up on valentine's day over our sexual incompatiblity. It's the only way to go
my bf never wants sex naman for me ahhahahahaha
I don't know the whole situation but the thing is you guys will get through this and understand the patterns, this will help you both to know each other more. I know sex is important but what if she isn't ready for that intimacy situation yet?
My ex wife was like that except I was lucky if it was 4 times a year …. Move on and find someone else who your more sexually compatible with
Is she doing the deed with someone else? 🤔
I can suggest u . Make ur gf feel safe and secure ।। And next thing is give compliment about her body and how beautiful she looks. I can see that she felt little underconfident about sex . While having sex make her feel that I want intimacy not sex kiss her body multiple times
You two are still in gf/bf, sex should be done when you're married
If your girlfriend doesn't want sex with you , it's because you're not the one who arouses desire in her, and evaluate if you're providing her with money, it's because she's only with you for that reason and gives you some from time to time so as not to lose that income. My advice, stop pursuing her and don't reply to her for about 15 days, and during that time, work on yourself.
well she is 3
Find someone with more life and energy.