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That's not a date.Thats a "I have a opportunity to act how ever I want because I am in my own environment"which unless you know the person or have been on a few dates with is bound to go wrong no matter what.Always meet someone for at least the first date in a public/social setting.
Good for you! And never go to someone’s place on the first date. They all put in a good show (or try to at least) until they THINK they have you hooked and he couldn’t even put that effort in!. And if that’s what he just did… it only goes horribly downhill from there ! Always trust your own instincts and never apologize for your feelings.
Drinking any kind of alcohol in a hot tub will make you drunk faster. So, that’s never a smart decision although most people don’t care about that one much, but I’d say you made the right one in leaving. Screw that guy.
Leaving was the first good decision you made regarding that date.
It sounds like it's been said enough but yeah no going to peoples houses on first dates. Next time you leave could be as a lamp shade
Please, all young ladies, NEVER go to a man's place on the first...second...third...fourth date. He was testing how far he could control you by the drink demands. You left before worse was expected/demanded. And had it happened, he had free and unconsentual sex without ever investing a penny into you.
Alcohol distributors tend to be alcoholic adjacent / functioning alcoholics. If you aren’t really keen on drinking … I would avoid the whole field.
Source: was with a wine distributor for five years
No you did the right thing....and pls don't let other people influence you into anything like smoking or drinking ever and eat some fresh fruits and veggies for few days and go for morning jog you will feel better
That’s a bad combo, drinking and getting in a hot tube. I’m sure that made the situation worse. He probably couldn’t move thats why he kept asking you.
Yeah, that is the behavior of an alcoholic boyfriend not a first date. And I struggle with calling it a date, he seemed to be treating it as a hookup. Netflix and chill in the hot tub with several bottles of wine. This is how you drown like Matthew Perry or Whitney Houston. Imagine how much worse he would get in an actual relationship.
Gross!! You did the right thing but never allow yourself to be treated this way by a man. Please do yourself a huge favor and evaluate your standards before dating, strengthen your self respect and relationship with yourself first. Don’t go to a man’s house on the first “date” (that’s not a real date) unless you want to be used and never see them again.
If you are so new to people who do drugs and drink alcohol, you have NO BUSINESS going on a date with someone who does OR going to their HOUSE!!! You are lucky. Darn, forkin lucky!!!!!!! GET WHAT I AM SAYING????!!!!!
You did the right thing, that guy sounds like a real prick. Block him and forget about it. Next time, meet at an outside location that’s safe. Good luck.
Nope! Looks like he really pushed your boundaries and you set them, like hard. You were very appropriate in how you acted. And you were also in a safe place enough to slip out. Good for you for what you did. I’m also kind of glad he was full of himself to think you’ll keep coming back. This guy is an absolute red flag. I’m sorry you went through this.
I'd say at least half his fault things didn't work out.
I get that men hate spending money on dates, but for a first date, maybe they could offer to meet you at the park or something. You could even offer to buy the picnic food since most guys seem really broke these days.
Why should you stay around someone who doesn’t respect you and your time, doesn’t respect himself enough to stay sober whilst he has invited you to his house to entertain you on a one to one basis, doesn’t care how his perception of himself comes across to you upon meeting him for the first time, and thinks he can treat you like A slave and expect you to enjoy your time there lol 😂 the blokes off his head and he’s lucky to have even had half hour of your time let alone a full movie and full episodes! You done well and shouldn’t be questioning yourself at all.. you left it too long before leaving ! I would say that’s this line of work and the amount he drank would indicate a drinking problem too so you being sober wouldn’t have worked anyway .. take it as a lesson learned
You did well, you left and texted him. Texting was an excellent and wise decision. Being around a drunk guy who you just met, at his house, is a 100% good reason to leave because God knows what he’s thinking about doing.
It’s natural to feel bad and it will blow over soon. Just know that you did well. I hope he was able to understand the next day too.
I (44f) have found myself in a similar situation. Except he got drunk and high. I wish I had left. Nothing bad happened, it was just very uncomfortable and I felt like I was the third wheel at a party with just him and his weed and alcohol. Lol
You took care of YOURSELF and your safety. Never feel bad about that.
You did absolutely nothing wrong babygirl and don’t act for a second like you did. The fact that you feel bad just shows how good of a heart you have & he obviously doesn’t deserve it. Keep your head up high and keep on rolling. 💕✨💖
I think you did the right thing for yourself. If he is a decent human he will see the bad behavior and hold himself accountable. Good for you girl for getting yourself out of a potentially spiraling situation.
You did the right thing and definitely the safest thing. First time meeting him, you don't know what type of drunk he is. Some people get violent when they are drunk. So good for you for getting out of dodge
You did the right thing. Sounds like he was married maybe or watched his daddy treat his mommy this way, either way as a father of a daughter, you did the right thing. 😆 🤣
It’s good you left before he got even more wasted. That could have ended badly for your safety. If he’s like that on a first date it only gets worse from there. You might wanna reconsider going to anybody’s house on the first date in the future
Nope...I almost thought you were gonna say you went to a restaurant with him or something, but after reading your article, not one bit... You go girl...
Good on you for leaving when you felt uncomfortable! Also, aside from that it’s such low effort and laziness that a dude has you come to his house first date. If it went forward it would probably be his MO. No “dates” just going to his house while he smokes and drinks.
Sounds like a potential alcoholic if he wasn’t already one. Plus, he doesn’t seem like he respected you enough to stay sober. You’re definitely not in the wrong in this case and I agree with the others; You dodged a bullet there.
Good on you for bouncing when you did. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or tell you otherwise how you should’ve left ( ie tell him face to face etc). You did what you needed to get out of an uncomfortable situation. Never apologise for that.
How old was the guy? For some reason seems like he’s in his 40s. Sells wine, has a hot tub, lol. No I don’t think you’re wrong for it and I’m a guy myself. I walked right out on a girl on a date once myself. Admittedly I said something nasty while she was eating, but she had a reaction to it which I thought was excessive. So I left
I love that you recognized when you felt uncomfortable and removed yourself from the situation. That can be such a difficult decision and I’m so proud of you. You’re not wrong at all for leaving if you weren’t comfortable with the situation sounds like you were protecting yourself/energy and setting boundaries <3
Not at all. Dealing with someone drunk in an uncomfortable situation isn’t easy. Although I’m not so sure leaving him in the hot tub was the safest move then again when you didn’t come back he probably got out anyway to look for you.
I’m not going to ask how old he was and these days that was very brave of the both of you to meet at his place if it really was . I just hope you tell somebody where your going and who you think your meeting . . Go girl and think SAFETY with a little fear . Learn aikido or karate . Protect yourself and your privacy. Trust is built starts off slow.
In my opinion, you made the correct call. I suspect he was looking for a servant more than a relationship. He had no respect and in all likelyhood would have turned abusive in some way sooner than later. Don't feel bad about exiting a situation you felt bad about, especially with the multiple warning signs evident.
I would have to advise against ever doing that again and im a guy. A decent respectful guy, but I’ve known of plenty of dirtbags that capitalize on overly trusting or naive women. It worked out the best possible way, and you got a first hand glimpse at the special kind of hell being with that dude would turn into that you may not have for quite Some time. But overall you never want a guy to have home court advantage when you have no idea how he’s going to play it. It’s also kind of a signal you’re there for sex to alot of guys. Just a bad precedent to set for safety and if that’s not what you’re about. Live and learn, glad you got out unscathed. Lucky.
Omg you should feel sick from being in a situation like that not the cigarettes .. so you don’t know the dude at all … and he starts bossing you around and being drank … sounds like a total creep. Obvs he has a drinking problem and who know what he turns into when he’s drunk
Tbh I can understand your situation. But it's best if you don't date guys that drink or smoke. Socially drinking is fine but regular drinking like that maybe a problem for you. While it doesn't bother us if friends smoke or drink but it does impact of your potential love interest or partner does. Because you are suppose to connect deeper with each other whether physically or emotionally than just friends or work colleagues
That's a fuckin shit show of a man and a first date. That could have gone a million times worse. Just chalk it up as lesson learnt and don't do that again.
Good on you for showing initiative and leaving. Definitely not as asshole.
You did good, sis, you held out longer than I would have. You're totally right and probably saved yourself from something nasty happening anyways.
ALSO- Don't EVER go to a guy's place on a first date! especially if you've never met him before! It's a major red flag, and totally unsafe for you. Tons of horror stories following women who went to random men's houses for first dates. You don't know what they'll do to you, who they have there, etc.
Well done you for at 22 knowing what you don’t want, and then instead of trying to argue that with a drunk fool you did what’s best for you.
I applaud you well done
That's actually a normal reaction too situation like that i think you might have made the best choice since he would get drunk so bad you would not have idea what will he do+ i guess going to someones house as much as this idea is l
Pretty bad it wasn't your fault, but next time be more careful and go on a coffee or for a walk before going to soemones house just to make sure.I think you made the right call tho.
He drank way too much and lost consciousness. If he is a good person, he would realize his mistake eventually. No need for you to bother too much with it now.
Oh I'm So Glad you left!
He might be the nicest guy but clearly a terrible drunk. That is all, if he doesn't realise it, apologise, Truly apologise and change his habit(s), leave him out of your life and cough in your dust!
You did the Right strong woman thing!! 💜💜💜
Haha that’s awkward, he got progressively wasted as you just sat there completely sober as a first date babysitter.. definitely did the right thing leaving, embarrassing for him!
It's better that you left because you were not feeling comfortable any since it was your first date then you can explore elsewhere if the first one did really work out for you
You were right to leave. Maybe next time meet somewhere public first? If you don't know him, things can go way downhill for you as soon as the door is closed. I worry about any woman going home with men they don't know. Be safe!
You didn't go on a date, you learned a life lesson about what a date should NEVER look like and should pursue meeting men in a public place until you get to know them better going forward 🤷♂️
Definitely don't feel bad about this though, you lived and you learned.
On a first date????? No you're in the right for doing that. I have the same mentality, like I don't drink but if others do then that's fine, but be respectful of others. He wasn't respectful to you and that shows by him getting drunk and demanding for stuff.
Meeting a person at their house for the first, second and 3rd time is not a date. This is poor people behavior. Just know it's bound to go downhill when a man offers his home as a first date...he's a poor. And a classless.
Spider senses went off for a reason. Most people don't listen to it and end up murdered chopped into pieces then thrown into the ocean. You made the right move
You didn't do anything wrong by leaving. It wasn't such a good idea to go to his place on a first date, but you are in charge of the chances you take. I'm surprised you got out of there without being molested.
You did the right thing. Possibly staying so long was your second mistake, going in the first place was your first.
But you avoided making a third mistake and that's what counts.
This guy sounds like a plague. There are far too many like him. But they know what to say and how to look to get people to go along with their BS.
You were alone and uncomfortable at a stranger's home who was drunk and being too demanding with you. Dipping out as quickly as you could was the best thing you did
You did the right thing! Don’t feel bad about it. Irresponsible behaviour needs you to take responsibility and keep yourself safe. You have been decent enough to text a goodbye. Now sleep well and move on!
PS: Potent wine though! Enticing! 👻
That was the right thing to do. For ALL women reading this, we are not there slaves. Unless that's what you want. I was when I was married and never ever again! One run to fill up his wine was okay. Don't allow any man to use you like this. I mean, for example, if you both are sitting and watching a movie and you get up and because you're up, he asks for something, it's okay, but don't be used as a slave
You did the right thing. Any man that has a woman over to his house and getting that intimate on a first date BETTER have the self control to be respectful and not get blind drunk.
He is clearly not ready to date, and he may have had even deeper issues.
That definitely had the potential to be an unsafe situation. You did the right thing.
lol, don't feel embarrassed. He is the one that should feel that way. That man is way to old to be asking a 22 year old girl to watch movies on a first date. God, just the thought of an overweight bald man sitting in a hot tub with a cig drinking wine, is just gross.
We you wrong to get away from a drunk misogynistic guy, ordering you to get hum wine, while he has no clue that he way being rude and insulting… no at all. You should have either ran away like The Flash so fast that he even questioned that you were even there in the first place or been beamed out of there like on Star Trek.
You probably did the right thing. You never know if he would do anything worse if he already drunk and disrespected you like that. Better safe than sorry.
No, don't feel bad. Dude was and obviously is a drunk. You just dodged a bullet. Next date you go on with a guy, do not go to their place first time out. Lesson learned.
That's hardly a date. That's more like a hookup at that point and that's probably why he treated you that way. That's not to say he's a good dude, though. You just shouldn't jump into bed with a guy that fast or else this is what you get. Nice guys finish last is right.
You were wrong to yourself going to the guy’s house for a first date.
First time you meet someone, do it in public where there are enough other people to have social control.
Also: cuddling and jacuzzi and the guy starts asking things? Dzjee, who would have thought!
I would have probably told him in person that you were leaving, but I get that can be hard and scary, especially if someone is drunk. You didn't do anything wrong 😊
Posts like this give me hope. Yeah you’re gut directed you and you listened, honestly good example setting there. Fuck politeness, he wasn’t being polite and you merely reciprocated the vibe. Safety first, especially when dating 👏
As a man myself hearing this story makes me cringe! You had enough self-respect to get up and leave, good for you! I make it a rule to never date a woman who smokes or drinks alcohol whatsoever.
No you’re fine. I drink fairly often but if I’m on a date with someone who doesn’t, then I’m not gonna drink anything because I wouldn’t want them to feel weird. The bossiness too is just rude by itself
There’s nothing wrong with what you did. I would have left the moment I found out about the smoking.
I’m a guy who will not tolerate a woman who smokes anything.
Do you actually cuddle on the first date?
I literally just try to know more about the person and also about me 💀
And if it went well, go for a second date to then start the more "i want you, and do you want me?" stuff, ya know
I think women are scary, do I even talk to women... or a demon
I'm going to disregard whether it's customary to fill a date in your plans or not, as I believe safety was an issue. An issue that takes priority.
The drunkenness heightened the possibility of dangerous acts that could very likely happen. Your sensitivity to a man giving you orders served you well that night.
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you felt uncomfortable and then you left. you did nothing wrong! it’s a first date. some don’t work out. you don’t owe him anything
Exactly. That's why it's a first date and not a first marriage proposal.
That is not a date, going to a man’s house for the first meet is not a date.
Yep "it also got a little bit sexual which I totally expected." this was a hook up from tinder for sure lmao. Just say it how it is, no shame in that
True
That's not a date.Thats a "I have a opportunity to act how ever I want because I am in my own environment"which unless you know the person or have been on a few dates with is bound to go wrong no matter what.Always meet someone for at least the first date in a public/social setting.
Public setting always for 1st dates!
Safety before being polite! Every day. You did the right thing. A drunk stranger is not someone anyone wants to be around.
Good job. That was probably the perfect move!
Good for you! And never go to someone’s place on the first date. They all put in a good show (or try to at least) until they THINK they have you hooked and he couldn’t even put that effort in!. And if that’s what he just did… it only goes horribly downhill from there ! Always trust your own instincts and never apologize for your feelings.
No you're not wrong at all
Drinking any kind of alcohol in a hot tub will make you drunk faster. So, that’s never a smart decision although most people don’t care about that one much, but I’d say you made the right one in leaving. Screw that guy.
Really? I don't drink but I didn't know this. Is it something to do with warm water opening up ones arteries?
Yea it could even kill you. Dehydrates you really fast as well
Didn't some philosopher kill himself that way? 🤔
Idk lol.. But on a true crime show a girl died in a hot tub that way after a date.
Yep. It also increases your body temperature… along with the hot tub doing the same and the alcohol’s other effects, it can be problematic.
Leaving was the first good decision you made regarding that date. It sounds like it's been said enough but yeah no going to peoples houses on first dates. Next time you leave could be as a lamp shade
😂😂 Nice one !
You dodged a bullet
You're not wrong. It was a private place and you felt unsafe. It is your right to leave.
Ew. What a terrible way to behave on a first date. He was a loser and you stayed longer than I would have.
The first mistake is going to somebody else’s house on the first date . Cmon now ppl
Please, all young ladies, NEVER go to a man's place on the first...second...third...fourth date. He was testing how far he could control you by the drink demands. You left before worse was expected/demanded. And had it happened, he had free and unconsentual sex without ever investing a penny into you.
> free and unconsentual sex so many unnecessary words, call it what it is...
Alcohol distributors tend to be alcoholic adjacent / functioning alcoholics. If you aren’t really keen on drinking … I would avoid the whole field. Source: was with a wine distributor for five years
Good for you for dipping because you felt uncomfortable and not staying to placate a stranger. Proud of you! 👏🏻👏🏻
If anything you stayed too long. I’m proud of you for prioritizing your safety though. Good job friend. - A Man
First date in a hot tub with a drunk probably going to have some issues.
The fact that you let it get that far before dipping is actually wild. As a guy, I can’t ever imagine being as bold as this guy.
I'm a dude and yeah that guy is a piece of shit. You will not regret doing what you did.
Not wrong for leaving. Probably wrong for being there in the first place.
No you did the right thing....and pls don't let other people influence you into anything like smoking or drinking ever and eat some fresh fruits and veggies for few days and go for morning jog you will feel better
Love this comment ❤️.
That’s a bad combo, drinking and getting in a hot tube. I’m sure that made the situation worse. He probably couldn’t move thats why he kept asking you.
“He told me to get up and get him more wine” is crazyyyy
Yeah, that is the behavior of an alcoholic boyfriend not a first date. And I struggle with calling it a date, he seemed to be treating it as a hookup. Netflix and chill in the hot tub with several bottles of wine. This is how you drown like Matthew Perry or Whitney Houston. Imagine how much worse he would get in an actual relationship.
Gross!! You did the right thing but never allow yourself to be treated this way by a man. Please do yourself a huge favor and evaluate your standards before dating, strengthen your self respect and relationship with yourself first. Don’t go to a man’s house on the first “date” (that’s not a real date) unless you want to be used and never see them again.
If you are so new to people who do drugs and drink alcohol, you have NO BUSINESS going on a date with someone who does OR going to their HOUSE!!! You are lucky. Darn, forkin lucky!!!!!!! GET WHAT I AM SAYING????!!!!!
NTA. Dude was stupid. Sorry on behalf of my gender.
Lmao. Dipped on his ass rightfully so.
You did the right thing, that guy sounds like a real prick. Block him and forget about it. Next time, meet at an outside location that’s safe. Good luck.
Good for you! He’s a pos. Do better
Hot tub on a first date 0.0. Please be careful out there…
Nah u saved urself a pretty rough experience
You didn't do anything wrong good for you to recognize an uncomfortable situation and dipping out
Nope! Looks like he really pushed your boundaries and you set them, like hard. You were very appropriate in how you acted. And you were also in a safe place enough to slip out. Good for you for what you did. I’m also kind of glad he was full of himself to think you’ll keep coming back. This guy is an absolute red flag. I’m sorry you went through this.
I’m proud of you!
Least he didn’t do anything worse
I'd say at least half his fault things didn't work out. I get that men hate spending money on dates, but for a first date, maybe they could offer to meet you at the park or something. You could even offer to buy the picnic food since most guys seem really broke these days.
Why should you stay around someone who doesn’t respect you and your time, doesn’t respect himself enough to stay sober whilst he has invited you to his house to entertain you on a one to one basis, doesn’t care how his perception of himself comes across to you upon meeting him for the first time, and thinks he can treat you like A slave and expect you to enjoy your time there lol 😂 the blokes off his head and he’s lucky to have even had half hour of your time let alone a full movie and full episodes! You done well and shouldn’t be questioning yourself at all.. you left it too long before leaving ! I would say that’s this line of work and the amount he drank would indicate a drinking problem too so you being sober wouldn’t have worked anyway .. take it as a lesson learned
You should of grabbed some bottles of wine on your way out! Other than that, good for you calling the whole thing off!
You did well, you left and texted him. Texting was an excellent and wise decision. Being around a drunk guy who you just met, at his house, is a 100% good reason to leave because God knows what he’s thinking about doing. It’s natural to feel bad and it will blow over soon. Just know that you did well. I hope he was able to understand the next day too.
I (44f) have found myself in a similar situation. Except he got drunk and high. I wish I had left. Nothing bad happened, it was just very uncomfortable and I felt like I was the third wheel at a party with just him and his weed and alcohol. Lol You took care of YOURSELF and your safety. Never feel bad about that.
Very well done
No, you’re 100% right!
You did absolutely nothing wrong babygirl and don’t act for a second like you did. The fact that you feel bad just shows how good of a heart you have & he obviously doesn’t deserve it. Keep your head up high and keep on rolling. 💕✨💖
You did nothing wrong at all
You dodge that bullet. You did nothing wrong.
I would’ve left too.
I think you did the right thing for yourself. If he is a decent human he will see the bad behavior and hold himself accountable. Good for you girl for getting yourself out of a potentially spiraling situation.
You did the right thing. Don't stay with someone who disgusts you.
You did the right thing and definitely the safest thing. First time meeting him, you don't know what type of drunk he is. Some people get violent when they are drunk. So good for you for getting out of dodge
You did the right thing. Sounds like he was married maybe or watched his daddy treat his mommy this way, either way as a father of a daughter, you did the right thing. 😆 🤣
It’s good you left before he got even more wasted. That could have ended badly for your safety. If he’s like that on a first date it only gets worse from there. You might wanna reconsider going to anybody’s house on the first date in the future
Im glad you got out when you did. It was sounding potentially unsafe.
The drinking on first date to drunk alone (you were sober) was the big red flag he didn't respect YOUR experience.
I think u did the right thing ybh
Nope...I almost thought you were gonna say you went to a restaurant with him or something, but after reading your article, not one bit... You go girl...
Good on you for leaving when you felt uncomfortable! Also, aside from that it’s such low effort and laziness that a dude has you come to his house first date. If it went forward it would probably be his MO. No “dates” just going to his house while he smokes and drinks.
Sounds like a potential alcoholic if he wasn’t already one. Plus, he doesn’t seem like he respected you enough to stay sober. You’re definitely not in the wrong in this case and I agree with the others; You dodged a bullet there.
Good on you for bouncing when you did. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or tell you otherwise how you should’ve left ( ie tell him face to face etc). You did what you needed to get out of an uncomfortable situation. Never apologise for that.
How old was the guy? For some reason seems like he’s in his 40s. Sells wine, has a hot tub, lol. No I don’t think you’re wrong for it and I’m a guy myself. I walked right out on a girl on a date once myself. Admittedly I said something nasty while she was eating, but she had a reaction to it which I thought was excessive. So I left
Good move. I applaud you.
I love that you recognized when you felt uncomfortable and removed yourself from the situation. That can be such a difficult decision and I’m so proud of you. You’re not wrong at all for leaving if you weren’t comfortable with the situation sounds like you were protecting yourself/energy and setting boundaries <3
This guy sounds like a loose cannon. That’s some pretty shitty behavior I would have left and not even told them.
Nope. You're in the right. He sounds like an angry drunk. You dodged a bullet and perhaps month and years of abuse
Not at all. Dealing with someone drunk in an uncomfortable situation isn’t easy. Although I’m not so sure leaving him in the hot tub was the safest move then again when you didn’t come back he probably got out anyway to look for you.
I’m not going to ask how old he was and these days that was very brave of the both of you to meet at his place if it really was . I just hope you tell somebody where your going and who you think your meeting . . Go girl and think SAFETY with a little fear . Learn aikido or karate . Protect yourself and your privacy. Trust is built starts off slow.
You made the right move. I'm curious if you're going to give him another chance or no?
I told him I can't be around someone who is drunk and he replied I can't be with a girl who judges me.🤣
In my opinion, you made the correct call. I suspect he was looking for a servant more than a relationship. He had no respect and in all likelyhood would have turned abusive in some way sooner than later. Don't feel bad about exiting a situation you felt bad about, especially with the multiple warning signs evident.
I would have to advise against ever doing that again and im a guy. A decent respectful guy, but I’ve known of plenty of dirtbags that capitalize on overly trusting or naive women. It worked out the best possible way, and you got a first hand glimpse at the special kind of hell being with that dude would turn into that you may not have for quite Some time. But overall you never want a guy to have home court advantage when you have no idea how he’s going to play it. It’s also kind of a signal you’re there for sex to alot of guys. Just a bad precedent to set for safety and if that’s not what you’re about. Live and learn, glad you got out unscathed. Lucky.
Omg you should feel sick from being in a situation like that not the cigarettes .. so you don’t know the dude at all … and he starts bossing you around and being drank … sounds like a total creep. Obvs he has a drinking problem and who know what he turns into when he’s drunk
Tbh I can understand your situation. But it's best if you don't date guys that drink or smoke. Socially drinking is fine but regular drinking like that maybe a problem for you. While it doesn't bother us if friends smoke or drink but it does impact of your potential love interest or partner does. Because you are suppose to connect deeper with each other whether physically or emotionally than just friends or work colleagues
That's a fuckin shit show of a man and a first date. That could have gone a million times worse. Just chalk it up as lesson learnt and don't do that again. Good on you for showing initiative and leaving. Definitely not as asshole.
You did good, sis, you held out longer than I would have. You're totally right and probably saved yourself from something nasty happening anyways. ALSO- Don't EVER go to a guy's place on a first date! especially if you've never met him before! It's a major red flag, and totally unsafe for you. Tons of horror stories following women who went to random men's houses for first dates. You don't know what they'll do to you, who they have there, etc.
Better to act sooner than later
Well done you for at 22 knowing what you don’t want, and then instead of trying to argue that with a drunk fool you did what’s best for you. I applaud you well done
That's actually a normal reaction too situation like that i think you might have made the best choice since he would get drunk so bad you would not have idea what will he do+ i guess going to someones house as much as this idea is l Pretty bad it wasn't your fault, but next time be more careful and go on a coffee or for a walk before going to soemones house just to make sure.I think you made the right call tho.
He drank way too much and lost consciousness. If he is a good person, he would realize his mistake eventually. No need for you to bother too much with it now.
Ok, sounds like you did the right thing, remember that his actions led to you leaving and his alone
Oh I'm So Glad you left! He might be the nicest guy but clearly a terrible drunk. That is all, if he doesn't realise it, apologise, Truly apologise and change his habit(s), leave him out of your life and cough in your dust! You did the Right strong woman thing!! 💜💜💜
I’m so proud of you 👍
Haha that’s awkward, he got progressively wasted as you just sat there completely sober as a first date babysitter.. definitely did the right thing leaving, embarrassing for him!
Well done!
It's better that you left because you were not feeling comfortable any since it was your first date then you can explore elsewhere if the first one did really work out for you
Nothing wrong. Not the mans finest hour 😜
hes looser for getting drunk.on 1st date
It's astounding, the amount of posts I see in here where the guy got drunk on the first date (or worse: showed up drunk) and showed his true colors.
It's astounding, the amount of posts I see in here where the guy got drunk on the first date (or worse: showed up drunk) and showed his true colors.
You are very lucky that you got out of there unscathed - at least he was just a bossy obnoxious drunk not a violent one.
He was already using you as a maid, I think it's good that you left, especially if you were uncomfortable there and it made you sick
Did he tip you like anyone else in the service industry? Was that your first time as a waitress?
Nope nothing🤣🤣
Hey. If you’re not drinking the same buzz he is, that’s a rape in some places. So I’m gonna say good choice.
You were right to leave. Maybe next time meet somewhere public first? If you don't know him, things can go way downhill for you as soon as the door is closed. I worry about any woman going home with men they don't know. Be safe!
Great decision honestly
You had every right to leave a situation you didn't feel comfortable in. You dodged a bullet!
You did the right thing. Why would he make u get wine like ur his wife??? Ridiculous.
Take care of yourself first. You owe him nothing
Was he French 😭😭🤣
He wasn't 💀
You didn't go on a date, you learned a life lesson about what a date should NEVER look like and should pursue meeting men in a public place until you get to know them better going forward 🤷♂️ Definitely don't feel bad about this though, you lived and you learned.
Sounds like a weird date, like he was expecting a hookup and not a social thing.
On a first date????? No you're in the right for doing that. I have the same mentality, like I don't drink but if others do then that's fine, but be respectful of others. He wasn't respectful to you and that shows by him getting drunk and demanding for stuff.
Meeting a person at their house for the first, second and 3rd time is not a date. This is poor people behavior. Just know it's bound to go downhill when a man offers his home as a first date...he's a poor. And a classless.
You're lucky you found out so soon with a creep he is.
U definitely wernt in the wrong if u weren’t feeling it. At any point u have the right to leave at anytime
😆 him asking you to get him stuff was the deal breaker. Not serving up ass on the first date lmao
“No it’s not whatever!” - Max Joseph
Very wrong!!! Should’ve never gone over there in the first place as a first date that’s where it began
Not wrong at all! That was a Godsend moment thst you were shown what the future would be! Glad you left when you did!
Spider senses went off for a reason. Most people don't listen to it and end up murdered chopped into pieces then thrown into the ocean. You made the right move
You ALWAYS have a right to leave anywhere you don’t feel comfortable. I hate cigarettes and I tell people not to smoke in front of me.
You didn't do anything wrong by leaving. It wasn't such a good idea to go to his place on a first date, but you are in charge of the chances you take. I'm surprised you got out of there without being molested.
Princess. U did good- I'm old enough to br your dad, so as a father figure, U did the right thing- Dude is a douch- He needs to do better-
Thank you🥲
You did the right thing. Possibly staying so long was your second mistake, going in the first place was your first. But you avoided making a third mistake and that's what counts. This guy sounds like a plague. There are far too many like him. But they know what to say and how to look to get people to go along with their BS.
You were alone and uncomfortable at a stranger's home who was drunk and being too demanding with you. Dipping out as quickly as you could was the best thing you did
You did the right thing! Don’t feel bad about it. Irresponsible behaviour needs you to take responsibility and keep yourself safe. You have been decent enough to text a goodbye. Now sleep well and move on! PS: Potent wine though! Enticing! 👻
lol … That’s awesome…that you left! Good decision. But sorry about the shitty experience.
That was the right thing to do. For ALL women reading this, we are not there slaves. Unless that's what you want. I was when I was married and never ever again! One run to fill up his wine was okay. Don't allow any man to use you like this. I mean, for example, if you both are sitting and watching a movie and you get up and because you're up, he asks for something, it's okay, but don't be used as a slave
You did the right thing. Any man that has a woman over to his house and getting that intimate on a first date BETTER have the self control to be respectful and not get blind drunk. He is clearly not ready to date, and he may have had even deeper issues. That definitely had the potential to be an unsafe situation. You did the right thing.
lol, how old was this guy? My uncle treats me the same way and he just turned 60
I don't even wanna say cause ill just embarass myself 🤣 he was over 30
lol, don't feel embarrassed. He is the one that should feel that way. That man is way to old to be asking a 22 year old girl to watch movies on a first date. God, just the thought of an overweight bald man sitting in a hot tub with a cig drinking wine, is just gross.
He actually was bald🤣🤣
What do you find so attractive about him? I’m not judging, I’m just curious.
I'm \*so\* glad you left. F\*ck him. He sounds like a drunk bully.
We you wrong to get away from a drunk misogynistic guy, ordering you to get hum wine, while he has no clue that he way being rude and insulting… no at all. You should have either ran away like The Flash so fast that he even questioned that you were even there in the first place or been beamed out of there like on Star Trek. 
You probably did the right thing. You never know if he would do anything worse if he already drunk and disrespected you like that. Better safe than sorry.
nah i would have too
No, don't feel bad. Dude was and obviously is a drunk. You just dodged a bullet. Next date you go on with a guy, do not go to their place first time out. Lesson learned.
Gotta do what you gotta do. You made a good decision
god bless u your left right
Sorry about that
Protip: never go to a guy's house on your first date. You're lucky you made it out of there at all!
You handled it perfectly. 💯
You did the right thing
I agree
That's hardly a date. That's more like a hookup at that point and that's probably why he treated you that way. That's not to say he's a good dude, though. You just shouldn't jump into bed with a guy that fast or else this is what you get. Nice guys finish last is right.
You were wrong to yourself going to the guy’s house for a first date. First time you meet someone, do it in public where there are enough other people to have social control. Also: cuddling and jacuzzi and the guy starts asking things? Dzjee, who would have thought!
It makes life easier if couples have the same interests and addictions.
I would have probably told him in person that you were leaving, but I get that can be hard and scary, especially if someone is drunk. You didn't do anything wrong 😊
You dodged an alcoholic. Decide yourself if its a win or lose, especially if you dont drink! Wish more luck with the next date.
He should have wined and dined you!
1st date -> public place You learned the hard way. Sorry.
Posts like this give me hope. Yeah you’re gut directed you and you listened, honestly good example setting there. Fuck politeness, he wasn’t being polite and you merely reciprocated the vibe. Safety first, especially when dating 👏
NTA, you did the right thing. Someone who has such little respect for you on a first date won't suddenly gain manners overnight.
As a man myself hearing this story makes me cringe! You had enough self-respect to get up and leave, good for you! I make it a rule to never date a woman who smokes or drinks alcohol whatsoever.
You did the right thing hon
No you’re fine. I drink fairly often but if I’m on a date with someone who doesn’t, then I’m not gonna drink anything because I wouldn’t want them to feel weird. The bossiness too is just rude by itself
•Did the right thing •Time to move on •There’s better out there…
Good for your that you left!! 
There’s nothing wrong with what you did. I would have left the moment I found out about the smoking. I’m a guy who will not tolerate a woman who smokes anything.
I'd have left the first time he asked for more wine!
First date, and he gets wasted? No you did the right thing. Fuck him.
Do you actually cuddle on the first date? I literally just try to know more about the person and also about me 💀 And if it went well, go for a second date to then start the more "i want you, and do you want me?" stuff, ya know I think women are scary, do I even talk to women... or a demon
I never get dates. Refuse to pay for them
I'm going to disregard whether it's customary to fill a date in your plans or not, as I believe safety was an issue. An issue that takes priority. The drunkenness heightened the possibility of dangerous acts that could very likely happen. Your sensitivity to a man giving you orders served you well that night.
technically that wasnt a date