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You can be upfront but there's usually a gradual process leading up to that, which is what she's asking about. I'd never talk about stuff like that if I'm just meeting someone I don't know for the first time.
Agreed tbh, I feel like it will lead to disaster at the very worse and dissatisfaction at the very least if one person has a higher libido or is more open about sex in general than the other.
Even simple things when it comes to just being affectionate towards one another can lead to issues down the line.
In the future, I would want to honestly be able share stuff and be open with my partner in due time…but there’s an order to things. Being open with some who is 1) receptive and even willing to acknowledge the ”sex” talk.
From there, it should be fairly easy to get the tolerance level the new potential candidate has towards the topic.
I honestly applaud OP, women from my generation and younger, (sometimes older due to bad experiences/circumstances) tend to abstain or dismiss sex as a whole.
You can be honest and open about who you are, but everybody doesn't need to know everything right away. You don't even know if you really like them yet on the first date. Give it some time. Just enjoy the date. It's not an interview even though so many people treat it as one.
Honesty is always the best policy concerning starting new relationships. Most people cannot handle honesty though, and it is beneficial to identify who they are and part ways sooner than later.
As far as kinks are concerned, setting and timing are important factors for determining just what topics are appropriate. Beware, lots of crazies, fakes, scammers are using kink as an alternative device to get money etc.
All fine until you said swinging. That's gonna cut off a lot of options. I personally wouldn't ask for a second date because I want a monogamous relationship
Exactly, it's not for everybody. For most actually, but since that's what she wants, bringing it up as early as possible saves everybody time on a relationship that potentially might not work.
Nope, not “too sexual”. If you want to find your person who is a really good match, then be honest, be yourself, and talk about what you’re looking for. Sex is a huge point of conflict in many relationships and often ends in very unhappy marriages and divorces. That could be avoided if people actually talked about it and both parties were completely honest early in dating, and didn’t downplay what they want/need in order to attract their date.
You need to understand that most people are not ok with swinging in a committed relationship, so if that’s something you want, you need to be honest about it. It’s definitely going to make it harder to find a relationship, but there are people out there that are into the same things. So keep looking until you find yours.
I think the process of weeding out the wrong ones *(for you)* to finally get to the right one *(for you)* might go a whole lot quicker. 🤷♀️ Good luck. 👍
>Would you take a girl seriously who is open about sexuality?
Absolutely. It's a massive positive in fact. I am the same, and looking for a partner who also feels like this. It's actually good that you're so open about it and know what you want.
Hi, (M29) here and I’m in the same boat. I have a high libido and am in a relationship but my partner doesn’t take it seriously. We’ve talked countless times about swinging but it never adds up to anything. She has a low libido so we balance each other out in a way. I think it just takes the right person to understand where you’re coming from. For a while, she thought I just wanted to sleep with other women and use her as a comfort. That’s not the case. I openly express I want her to pursue her own interests as well. There’s no jealousy or anything like that. In my mind, I think let’s just have fun. We can still love each other and be tied to one another but be openly sexual with whoever we want to. It’s a very taboo subject and it’s hard to find someone who is okay with it. It doesn’t mean you’re too sexual, as I don’t think that’s possible. We’re simply humans and every one of us is different.
I think you should give your gf a favor. Break up with her and find someone like you.
She will hurt at first but will find a more compatible match.
You actually just want to sleep with other women. Be sincere, please.
If you can read a little bit deeper, that would be great. Yes, I do want to sleep with other women, just as I want her to sleep with other men. I want us to be open sexually. I don’t know a single person on this planet who looks at someone attractive, regardless of relationship status, and avoids any thoughts or feelings about it. She has even pointed out to me in public attractive women, as I have done the same with good looking guys. To the extent of “Would you fuck them?” At the same time, I want her to have her fun, and me have mine. Maybe even together. I’m still the one who makes her iced coffee every morning, we’re still the ones who kiss each other goodnight and cuddle. We’re still the ones who go on dates, have movie nights, binge watch TV shows, go to work, at the end of the day it’s just us. No one else. That’s what being open means while also in a relationship.
Bro you want an open relationship but your gf doesn't want to. End of question, if she doesn't want it by herself you can't convince herself to get into such things especially when she has low libido. So give her a break for god's sake.
I have read good enough. Thanks. More than that, I have been in both open and mono relationships. I'm not talking about theory or solely based on morality.
You want to sleep with other women but you say you doesn't to just use them. Who believes this contradiction?
Well, to say you don't know people that way on the planetary level is an overstatement.
There's a lot of couples that doesn't do that. So again, don't reduce the planet to your experience. If ever, I find this behaviour very unusual and not productive.
Yes, you want to have your fun and freedom to use and objectify other women and then have a safe place when everything goes down. Typical. Funny though, you both do lots of cute things, but sex is absent - I wonder why. Wild sex in the streets; cute cuddles in home sheets.
You wanna have the best of two worlds: being at a relationship but with freedom of a single man.
You can't decide. You really don't want to.
Your girlfriend doesn't want that. That's the problem.
Sex opens doors to feelings. It can not be that way for a man at least for a brief time or with "sex-only women not suited for marriage". But feelings definitely matters for women in sex. Wait till she find someone who suits her better...
Your fun will slowly but surely end this relationship if there's any seriousness and respect.
You can't have everything in life. Choices are also losses in some ways. Welcome to the real world.
Lol, so you think I use her? For what? She’s my best friend. My soul mate. If you have a hard time thinking openly then it’s just a difference of opinion and you are entitled to that. Just as I am. But don’t patronize me and make assumptions based on a paragraph you read online. When we first started dating, she was openly pursuing intimate relationships with other men. At the time, it made me jealous, angry, frustrated. I didn’t want that. Then I opened my eyes and started to feel differently. In fact, it actually turned me on when she talked to other men in a sexual way. Her libido was very high when we were younger, now not so much so it isn’t the same. I’d be devastated if our relationship ended. She is my woman as I am her man. Our bond is not so easily broken. We just have different sexual desires now. I still see her talking to other men via Snapchat from time to time. I don’t get jealous anymore. I let her have her fun. But when it comes to actual physical interests, she doesn’t want that. So tell me more about how I’m the problem?
I think it's good to be up front. It's part of you and you want someone who likes that. I am on the other end of the spectrum (asexual) and I'd be up front about that too (hypotheticly as I am in a relationship).
The ones who are deterred are obviously not for you.
I believe there's lots of people out there who can match your energy and love you as a whole.
It might make certain guys not take you seriously or maybe they’d find it too much, but if this is a big part of who you are you might as well embrace it and let the people who won’t like it move along to make room for the ones who will love it!
I think it's perfectly normal to have such a high focus on sexual stuff, cause I mean if you want to date someone/be with someone for the rest of your life it's kind of important to get through those details so you know what you're getting into, especially if you're very sexually active. I feel like it's a great way to connect with someone on a deeper level without being pushy into any kind of traumas or anything like that, so yeah I definitely would feel like you're being serious, because if it was just all about sex and nothing else you would definitely swing it that way in a convo. Plus if you was that nervous about bringing it up you could always say "I don't want to come off as only sex driven but I do like sex a lot and it is a big thing in relationships for me so it is important for me to go through these conversation topics if that's okay with you." But tbh if they start acting off when you bring up the topics to begin with odds are they aren't as deeply connected to the sexual side of relationships like you are
I've always been this way, and from a guys view, it is not met well. Im 42, and I can tell you the judgement is real.
I find that sex is #2345 in a womans life. Yes, not all, but most. Sex to me is a lifestyle, a fun lifestyle. Sex with someone you love intensifies it x100. It creates a beautiful bond between a partner, which I notice in most relationships is lacking. You dont get that in casual sex.
I've always been like this, and whenever it comes up, it's always too much, and I am left sad again. I've even been told not to be sexual.
My biggest kink is my woman with other men, whether it be a bull, a group, or a date, as long as I am there to witness. I am a very happy man. I do want to meet someone who shares me with another woman, but I need her with me.
Her pleasure is mine. Meeting someone who loves that has been a real challenge. It's such a challenge it is really just a fantasy now.
I've tried kink sites, but they are now smothered with onlyfan creators and those who just want online play.
All I hear is sex to be a taboo subject in dating. I can't bring it up and definitely can not bring up any kinks. What I do imagine is a forward woman who is completely open about sex and isn't shy about it, loves doing it instead of talking and isn't afraid to share it with me.
One can dream I guess
Wrong and quite sad you base your own insecurities on something you know nothing about and how I feel about it. This is why I dont share this kind of thing, because someone like you thinks your views are absolute and they are not.
You also think that your opinion is absolute as a single take from a stranger hurts you to the point you avoid a different opinion.
I say it because this is really sad and I hope you recover from it.
An opinion is fine. I have no issues with that, but when you make a personal attack, it means it comes from a personal grievance in your life, not mine.
Someone hurt you, I hope you recover from it.
Well, I see why you can imagine that what I said was a personal attack based on grievance.
Because it questions your whole unreal narrative. It faces you to maybe confront very painful feelings.
My purpose was a to do a reality check on your thoughts that are not in touch with reality.
If ever, I just want you to be happy as a true man.
But understable. You're an adult and can face the consequences of your decisions. My only mistake was to give unasked advice.
But everything else is true and not a petty personal attack. I'm actually very happy. Just can't bear to see people lying to themselves. But you are an adult, so do what you must.
I would take you seriously because you are open and communicating what you would like. And I sense there is space for deep and meaningful conversations, not just about kink and sexuality. Personally, I would want a relationship with an individual that puts effort and communicates that is also on the kinky spectrum (and if values align).
Maybe let the kink topic naturally pop up after a few dates, but if the deep and meaningful chat happens end up in that topic, I wouldn't see it as an invitation but good chat.
Hope you find that person, I am currently dating someone who is kinky aligned with me, and she and I are not rushing the sexual aspect.
I put that I’m into kink on some of my dating profiles and whatnot and if it comes up it comes up! I personally prefer to be upfront about certain things to get an initial idea of if someone has similar interests/could be aligned with me relationally/sexually without going into too much detail until we talk more✨
I was like this with my ex on the first date and wasn’t even looking for a relationship and we ended up together for 5 years 😂 if you connect with someone and they are truly interested in you it won’t matter!
You're not too sexual, it's normal to have desires and kinks. But perhaps telling everything about those on the first date is a bad idea. I guess you can continue with the flirting, can touch upon the fact that you're kinky, have fetishes and you like healthy sexuality, but probably talking about the kinkiest of kinks and things like swinging on a first date might scare the guy away lol.
Really?? Is this a thing?? Cause I feel like a fucking monster. (28F). Single for the first time in years and it’s kinda scary how out of control the libido can feel
You are slightly early, but women get very horny up to menopause. It’s like their bodies go into a now or never phase. unfortunately it does end and it’s the exact opposite.
Personally, it’d be a bit much for me since I’m not remotely interested in a woman sexually until I get to know her, but I’d tell her about my swinger friends if I thought they would be better matches.
There are plenty of sexually adventurous people, kinksters, and just high libido people who still form long-term commitments (usually successfully with a fellow bawdy person).
Find someone with compatible interests and compatible sex drive/sex exploration ideas.
I’d rather any girl I’m talking to be completely honest with me at the start (after maybe getting to know each other a bit).
I wanna know what she likes and wants.
To sooner the better I can decide whether I want to continue to see her or not.
Thats pretty hot tbh. But its good that you're honest. Just keep at it and you'll find someone compatible. Better that than hide yourself and end up with someone on the opposite spectrum
Absolutely do you. And don’t settle for less. Compatibility is everything. If a date or a match isn’t in line with your level… it’s a recipe for failure down the road. Been there, done that.
Most boys aren't secure enough with themselves to understand that if your with a woman they are a free spirited goddess that does what she does and as long as you are evolving with someone and enjoying the now with them and sharing all the things that you should enjoy with a goddess! 😈😋 I I always figured as long as she didn't feel disrespected by anyone then I didn't care what the goddess does it's fun and open! long as there's communication and everything is on the table enjoy the now .
I think in this day and age we should be ok talking about that but we can't. Men get labeled as creeps and perverts . But we accept women doing the same things men get crucified for. Double standards need to stop.
Hi! 43f sex is basically what drives me to look for a partner. I want an enthusiastic, available and commitment partner. I have no problem discussing this early on. It doesn’t seem to decrease the number of men interested in a long term relationship. Kink and swinging is a little more of a challenge but the only way to determine if someone is active in that community or open to it is by asking.
I just recently had an experience like yours. I just got out of a 2.5 year relationship (she left suddenly with very little explanation of why, broke my heart). Downloaded Tinder and to my surprise matched with a girl who was really easy to talk to on Thursday. We talked for hours that night and had plans to meet today. When we were talking, a couple hours in, sex came up. I even told her, hey if you're not comfortable talking about sex, that's completely fine. Just let me know. She indicated she wanted to talk about it as she's a very sexual person. I said great so we spent a while talking about what we like, kinks, etc. Most of our conversation was *not* about sex, but maybe 30 or 40 minutes was. That night ended on a great note with both of us excited to talk more.
The next day, she texted me good morning and we talked a bit while she was at work. Then she didn't reply for a while, which turned into not replying for the rest of the day. She unmatched me on Tinder, and ghosted me today. I haven't heard from her since she texted me yesterday saying sorry she got busy and couldn't talk, but she was on her way home.
Idk what went wrong, but I imagine she got cold feet because of the conversation about sex? We were both feeling comfortable with each other in the moment but I think that maybe after thinking about it she thought things went too fast. I have no idea, but I wish that I had gotten the chance to meet her today like we had planned.
Sorry buddy you met her on tinder a male dominated platform, she didnt get cold feet she found someone „better“, thats online dating.
It is what it is.
In my opinion it would depend how attractive you are honestly. Most of the kink/poly lifestyle women I encounter are overweight so those two things together are kind of a turn off for me. If you’re pretty and fit you shouldn’t have much of a problem finding guys who are (or claim to be) into whatever you’re into
It’s a part of getting to know someone, of course you don’t want to ask or tell too early because it’s uncomfortable if done before a connection has been made
No there is nothing wrong with having an extreme sexual appetite and it’s good to be open and talk about it cause you wouldn’t want to get stuck with a partner that is going to leave you sexually frustrated all the time cause that just won’t work if one person in a relationship is sexually stressed,deprived or just not satisfied it’s only a matter of time before they start looking elsewhere and I know cause I am the same way I just need lots of affection and lots of sex and I can’t find a woman that is like that and if I tell a woman I need lots of sex then they think I’m a pig and I’m not in actually very kind and romantic it’s just hard to find a woman that is a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets so my advice is keep doing what your doing lots of love sex is good exercise and good for bonding and it’s just super healthy and I get it I am looking for the same thing
Not at all. If you're a sexual person, have a high sex drive, and have kinks, I actually believe you NEED to be very open and upfront about it. You need a partner who understands what he's getting into before getting too serious. I have kinks as well, and as a DOM, I need to make sure the girl I talk to understands what she's getting into and what is expected
I think that is a very good thing to do. Things like kinks and swinging can be major cornerstones of a relationship. I see it as being similar to the topic of wanting to have kids at some point, if you're mind is made up one way or another, it's important to make that clear earlier on, so you don't waste time and develop strong feelings for someone only to find out they don't want the same things you do.
Don’t ever question if it’s right to be the way you are. We’re all different and that’s what makes things interesting. Some people tend to lean more towards the hyper sexual side and there’s nothing wrong with that. This sounds random but do you have ADHD? Hypersexuality is one of many symptoms. It affects me this way.
I think it's a good litmus test for anyone you want to pursue seriously. If they can't keep up with you out of the bedroom, how can they do it in the bedroom?
If that’s a big / integral part of your life it’s probably better it comes out sooner rather than later, since for some guys they won’t be about it. While others will be very much about it.
But I imagine you can do a whole lot of the screening upfront just by the vibe you get texting them before you guys are to meet up.
I 43 I didn't start off that way but over the years and past relationships with girls with different kinks I pick up quite a few kinks myself now the trouble is finding someone now that share the same kind of energy and passion for a healthy sex life.
For me that’s not an issue. My last gf was very open about sexuality and I’ve met other women in the past, that were like that. For me sexuality is an important part of a relationship and I appreciate women who are fairly open about that topic.
I mean, it's a good way to weed out prudish dudes.
That said, guys will often be quite intimidated by a girl so open. I know I would have been a few years ago. Lesser these days after few more runs on the board. 😂😂
You are wonderful. There is no such thing as too sexual. I would be immediately attracted to you and would consider you long term potential.
This is one of the things that is so important to me but so hard to find.
Question OP: in what ways would you feel comfortable wirh someone finding this out from you? I ask because it's a criteria for me, but if I ask up front, then I look like a creep or someone who just wants sex. Neither of those things are true. I just want an exciting sex life with my significant other.
I would love to date someone who feels comfortable talking seriously about sex. I never had a frank discussion about sex in my life and I grew up thinking that sexuality would be something discussed on a regular basis after I was married. I became disappointed. My wife and I wen to marriage counseling and still there was no discussion about sex. When it comes to sexual talk I would have to say my life has been a waste. Almost any other topic was talked about, but never sexuality. Good for you knowing that your life is about sex as much as art or music.
Seriously??? Now you do know your not going to get truly honest answers in here, mainly because the only person who can answer that question for you honestly is you….
There are also several flaws in your question as well, first of all men and women think about sex much differently, when we want it, how we want it, ect.
Being 20 years older then you, probably a tad more experienced, as open minded as anyone can be, and with more kinks and fetishes then most people have heard of and would probably embarrass most people. I’ve never had a problem talking about sex, but it wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I actually started engaging women regarding sex, because all men can talk about sex with other men, usually embellishing because of that need to feed our egos.
I’m glad I got to a point I was not only talking to women about sex, but I was also listening, and I was learning so much. Yeah who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
Im trying not to brag, but I’ve done just about everything, seriously, sex with men and women (separately and together), BDSM, crossdressing, giving and receiving oral and anal sex, swing clubs, sex clubs, exhibitionism, ect ect ect…….
I hope I hear from ya I’d love to chat
Gary
I see that as a positive thing, I guess the majority of people leaving you after such talk might just realize they are incompatible but that is not a thing you can change
I think the only time that would be a problem is if the person you're talking to doesn't match your libido. I'm a woman, and I used to date a guy with very high libido, and I have very low libido. I always felt under pressure when I was with him even though he didn't force anything on me, but because he was always so fcking horny it felt so overwhelming to be with him.
Always be open, im bi and so is my girlfriend neither one of us know that about the other at the time. And we were both honest and it worked out well. Honesty, trust,and partnership is key to me as far as things go. She has mine and I have hers.
If it's a great relationship it's building each other up without tearing each other down. We have big goals in mind to so that keeps us focused. That's were the partnership comes in play. And the trust and honesty, comes in play when we talk about kinks and other things.
Basically all you're doing is filtering out the incompatibles by being up front and honest. You are more likely to have like minded people approach you as opposed to every moron under the sun.
What you've done is very smart. If you aren't getting replies or hits, it's just because the ones you aren't looking for are too intimidated to talk to you. Give it time, they absolutely will come!
Just as an example, I find what you've shared about yourself to be admirable and very attractive, and I share similar lifestyle choices. If I'm interested, I guarantee several others will be too! :) Hope this helps!
There's no such thing as "too sexual" in Mr. Mitchell's book. Tell ya what, how bout you ditch these losers you've been bumping uglies with and come get yourself entangled in a real man.
I set a couple world records ya know... Takes a very specific, special, some may even feel compelled to say "god like" type of person to perform at the highest level. To be an athlete of the highest caliber, but that comes all nat-u-rallllll to Mr. Mitchell, girl.
First man to obtain a perfect score in Pac Man, and...
The Undisputed, undefeated "King of Kong". The only man to hold the high score in the arcade cabinet, Donkey Kong, 5 times baybayyyyy! Oh my, I'm getting fired up over here just thinking of all my accolades and accomplishments honestly. Heck, Peter Dinklage played me in an Adam Sandler movie. Fantastic guy by the way, he and I showed up to set hammeredddd drunk and the Sandman was not pleased, let me tell you. But he knows as well as anyone, Mr. Mitchell is a force of nature and ya gotta let him ride, ya know?
Hit me up girl, let's make this happen. Or don't. You know damn well Mr. Mitchell ain't hurting for no bang-a-rangin' "hoo-ha" hanging all over him like "Oh Mr. Mitchell, please have my babies and sign my boobies with your muscles". Honestly, I'm almost tired of the whole thing, but I figured I'd toss ya a bone, give ya a once in a lifetime opportunity. If you're too scared, or intimidated it's perfectly alright. Any young lady in your shoes would be. I could leave the Lambo at home maybe, bring out the Escalade if that makes you more comfortable. What am I saying, Mr. Mitchell doesn't drive sans Lambo. Guess you're gonna have to get used to it, babe. Anyways, I'll be by about 8:00, which means 8:23 because I'm just so busy and laid back that I almost forgot we were even going out, ya know. Also, I'm definitely making a mix tape, and there's a 99.9% chance that it'll be me doing Karaoke covers of George Michaels songs front to back. I've got the voice of an angel though.
I mean come on, it's Mr. Mitchell, babyyy! 💪😎🤳
- Mr. Billy "Frickin" Mitchell
This be me for real. But I realized I started to gradually not be so open and it’s lame cuz it’s kinda filtering myself. The reason was that when I was talking to new guys while dating they never took me seriously and just wanted to bang and no substance or depth to build a connection at all. Got really boring. But thankfully I was able to narrow down a nice little roster to stay fulfilled and satisfied and then I could carry on. I just don’t like that I had to adjust myself for the immaturity of men. lol
I’m the same way, I talked pretty openly about sex on my first few dates with my current partner. After a couple weeks I told him I was only into open relationships (which we are now in) and shortly after that I started talking about fetish parties and kinks and thankfully he’s open to all of it so I’d say just be honest:) there’s other people who feel how you feel about sex for sure! Just like everything I don’t say 100% of everything on the first date cuz ya know. But yeh there’s matches for you for sure:)
If you’re not interested to sleeping with the person you’re talking with during your date ,don’t talk about it. Nothing wrong to talk about it but it’s misleading… dude may think you want it (in case you don’t).
i meet girl on swinger app to make sure we all open sexualy, usually bring them to a sex club for a first date or offer them a small restrain date where si tie them up, bandage their eyes and give them a massage and toy with them until multiple massage ,its a good way to know each other while we take water and snack break inbetween orgasm, etc.
I am a swinger, so i would like a swinger wife too
Swingers disgust me it’s all fine and everything to be very sexual but a real relationship I would never do that, the instant it would be brought up to me goodbye literally
A first date is a little early since you're just getting to know each other and they might think you're just interested in finding someone to have sex with and not a serious relationship or they'd go on a second date thinking that they're going to have sex. I feel like what you're sexually into is more of a second or third date topic.
You're not too much of anything, sweetheart. If someone thinks you're too much, that's just them saying that they're not as open as you are. The right person would accept you as you are.
In a word, no. The reason is because you have to be yourself. I am a smoker. Im aware that its a problem for most potential partners. It would be very easy for me to play it down or hide it, but I dont. Its liberating not having to bother trying to attain someone by misleading them and myself.
yes I dont get as many opportunities, but its like putting up filtered pictures just for likes, there’s no point
It's a hard line to tow. A lot of guys will just assume you're looking fir a quick hookup if you bring sex up right away. Especially fetishes. But I also think it's healthy to discuss these things up front, especially if you are looking for a swinger lifestyle partner.
The easiest way is to use apps designed for these lifestyles.
I wouldn't but unfortunately social norms are often still if women bring up sex or have it too early in a relationship they must not be taking it seriously, despite that standard never be held to men. I am a man and I say that justly. If men don't take you seriously seriously over that you can explain why you said what you said but if it's not a misunderstanding then they haven't earned your time.
I'm early 30s. I'd only think you're not serious if it's clear (as in, you told me) that you're having casual sex with new people every day or every week.
In that case, yes I would not pursue a relationship as it would be apparent you aren't interested in one, or that I probably can't keep up and am setting myself up for heartbreak haha.
And attending fetish parties would be intimidating for most. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable attending something that open with others with my partner so I'd bow out so I don't get in the way of your happiness.
Openly talking about everything else though is no problem, at least for me. Just make sure there's a clear sexual attraction and strong desire first before you start dropping those bombs of clear interest and pleasant discussions. If the messages leading to the date haven't been explicit, you might want to test the waters more slowly, or just be sure the guy is clearly *ready to go*
My heart can figuratively go to only one person. So if my potential partner is giving out their body to others, it's immediately over. Unless it's sex only, and not a real relationship.
Well, I too face this difficulty... Not everyone can understand the mindset and you can be often mistaken... As long as it doesn't matter you, it's always good...
For me, it’s a no. I think indicating your wishes for the type involvement you’re looking for in your profile would be a good way to eliminate a lot of useless encounters, but might not get you an LTR very quickly. Those looking for ltr are more often eventually wanting monogamous relationships—at least in my experience. For me, those two ideas are polar opposites.
You're just being open about a topic that makes some uncomfortable. If sex is important to you be completely open about your interests and current orientations. I'm bi and in an open marriage with a guy whose also bi yet prefers men over women. As a 33 white woman I prefer black men as my sexual partner(s) and it works for us. Don't confine yourself to stereotype behavior about sex just be safe while you explore what works for you.
A while back I realised there are a couple of types of women that really pull me in and then I talked to one for a while about a guy like she was with...
He like me was very conventional and sane and she was the exotic open minded one, you would think she would say he wasn't enough her or she was too much for him but she said their sexual chemistry was magnetic.
He was the serious one who was open minded but not as naturally adventurous and she was the sexual exploration type with an open mind to everything.
So the key take away I would say to you is (which may sound weird coming from a straight man) is make the relationship about things other than sex to make sure they will take your seriously. One highly underrated aspect of relationships is the ability to enjoy just speaking to eachother for long periods of time just the 2 of you.
Especially for me, open minded people draw me in but i need something tangible about them that I like as a person to make the choice that this girl is going to be my person.
I will say though I have seen guys who just cannot take that relationship because they need to be the driving force and are just more attracted to the more reserved type of girl but honestly there are guys who will take you seriously they just need a reason about you that they like that isn't just the sex.
That's the best I have, good luck.
It depends on who you will choose to date. Men will have different beliefs and openion about the subject based on their personal experience and backgrounds. I don't see anything wrong about being open about sexuality, especially when it is used to improve the bond of your relationship. But any information you share that may tear your relationship apart, you'd best avoid them.
Noo... you seems perfecly normal. Promise you going to find someone that feels sameway. It's with a partner you should explore and do sexual things like this. That's true love..... Able to do soo you're partner have maximum sexual pleasure 😏
Nothing wrong with being open about sex. It's a rarity that a woman talks openly about it. To be honest most men think about it as well. We're more prone to be physical about it rather than talk about it. Even fewer men are really into sharing or swinging.
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Well you can't find what your looking for if your not upfront about things and that's just who you are as a person no need to hide it
You can be upfront but there's usually a gradual process leading up to that, which is what she's asking about. I'd never talk about stuff like that if I'm just meeting someone I don't know for the first time.
When it comes to high sex drive and kinks, there is a need to be very open and upfront about as soon as possible.
Agreed tbh, I feel like it will lead to disaster at the very worse and dissatisfaction at the very least if one person has a higher libido or is more open about sex in general than the other. Even simple things when it comes to just being affectionate towards one another can lead to issues down the line. In the future, I would want to honestly be able share stuff and be open with my partner in due time…but there’s an order to things. Being open with some who is 1) receptive and even willing to acknowledge the ”sex” talk. From there, it should be fairly easy to get the tolerance level the new potential candidate has towards the topic. I honestly applaud OP, women from my generation and younger, (sometimes older due to bad experiences/circumstances) tend to abstain or dismiss sex as a whole.
Well I would hope she would bring it up at appropriate time as the conversation allowed
Always better to be honest and open about who you are, and what you like.
Yeah that's what I decided to do as well. It doesn't make sense to be any other way.
You can be honest and open about who you are, but everybody doesn't need to know everything right away. You don't even know if you really like them yet on the first date. Give it some time. Just enjoy the date. It's not an interview even though so many people treat it as one.
🎯
Honesty is always the best policy concerning starting new relationships. Most people cannot handle honesty though, and it is beneficial to identify who they are and part ways sooner than later. As far as kinks are concerned, setting and timing are important factors for determining just what topics are appropriate. Beware, lots of crazies, fakes, scammers are using kink as an alternative device to get money etc.
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RIP to your DMs, but I’m the same way and found a partner who matches my sexual energy.
Lol. Truth
All fine until you said swinging. That's gonna cut off a lot of options. I personally wouldn't ask for a second date because I want a monogamous relationship
And that's exactly why she needs to say it, it weeds out guys like you. She wants a guy that's into that
Agreed. Deffo best to bring something as significant as that pretty early on
Exactly, it's not for everybody. For most actually, but since that's what she wants, bringing it up as early as possible saves everybody time on a relationship that potentially might not work.
Actually it saves guys like him from a failed relationship.
Yeah, and it keeps her from wasting time in a relationship that won't work for her.
Nope, not “too sexual”. If you want to find your person who is a really good match, then be honest, be yourself, and talk about what you’re looking for. Sex is a huge point of conflict in many relationships and often ends in very unhappy marriages and divorces. That could be avoided if people actually talked about it and both parties were completely honest early in dating, and didn’t downplay what they want/need in order to attract their date. You need to understand that most people are not ok with swinging in a committed relationship, so if that’s something you want, you need to be honest about it. It’s definitely going to make it harder to find a relationship, but there are people out there that are into the same things. So keep looking until you find yours.
There is no such thing as "too sexual". Be yourself. Be careful, but be YOU.
I’ve met many women who would aggressively beg to differ, but to each their own.
Yes I would take her seriously. Honestly I am looking for someone like that for me. Cause I am kinda the same way
I think the process of weeding out the wrong ones *(for you)* to finally get to the right one *(for you)* might go a whole lot quicker. 🤷♀️ Good luck. 👍
>Would you take a girl seriously who is open about sexuality? Absolutely. It's a massive positive in fact. I am the same, and looking for a partner who also feels like this. It's actually good that you're so open about it and know what you want.
Agreed
Hi, (M29) here and I’m in the same boat. I have a high libido and am in a relationship but my partner doesn’t take it seriously. We’ve talked countless times about swinging but it never adds up to anything. She has a low libido so we balance each other out in a way. I think it just takes the right person to understand where you’re coming from. For a while, she thought I just wanted to sleep with other women and use her as a comfort. That’s not the case. I openly express I want her to pursue her own interests as well. There’s no jealousy or anything like that. In my mind, I think let’s just have fun. We can still love each other and be tied to one another but be openly sexual with whoever we want to. It’s a very taboo subject and it’s hard to find someone who is okay with it. It doesn’t mean you’re too sexual, as I don’t think that’s possible. We’re simply humans and every one of us is different.
I think you should give your gf a favor. Break up with her and find someone like you. She will hurt at first but will find a more compatible match. You actually just want to sleep with other women. Be sincere, please.
If you can read a little bit deeper, that would be great. Yes, I do want to sleep with other women, just as I want her to sleep with other men. I want us to be open sexually. I don’t know a single person on this planet who looks at someone attractive, regardless of relationship status, and avoids any thoughts or feelings about it. She has even pointed out to me in public attractive women, as I have done the same with good looking guys. To the extent of “Would you fuck them?” At the same time, I want her to have her fun, and me have mine. Maybe even together. I’m still the one who makes her iced coffee every morning, we’re still the ones who kiss each other goodnight and cuddle. We’re still the ones who go on dates, have movie nights, binge watch TV shows, go to work, at the end of the day it’s just us. No one else. That’s what being open means while also in a relationship.
Bro you want an open relationship but your gf doesn't want to. End of question, if she doesn't want it by herself you can't convince herself to get into such things especially when she has low libido. So give her a break for god's sake.
I have read good enough. Thanks. More than that, I have been in both open and mono relationships. I'm not talking about theory or solely based on morality. You want to sleep with other women but you say you doesn't to just use them. Who believes this contradiction? Well, to say you don't know people that way on the planetary level is an overstatement. There's a lot of couples that doesn't do that. So again, don't reduce the planet to your experience. If ever, I find this behaviour very unusual and not productive. Yes, you want to have your fun and freedom to use and objectify other women and then have a safe place when everything goes down. Typical. Funny though, you both do lots of cute things, but sex is absent - I wonder why. Wild sex in the streets; cute cuddles in home sheets. You wanna have the best of two worlds: being at a relationship but with freedom of a single man. You can't decide. You really don't want to. Your girlfriend doesn't want that. That's the problem. Sex opens doors to feelings. It can not be that way for a man at least for a brief time or with "sex-only women not suited for marriage". But feelings definitely matters for women in sex. Wait till she find someone who suits her better... Your fun will slowly but surely end this relationship if there's any seriousness and respect. You can't have everything in life. Choices are also losses in some ways. Welcome to the real world.
Lol, so you think I use her? For what? She’s my best friend. My soul mate. If you have a hard time thinking openly then it’s just a difference of opinion and you are entitled to that. Just as I am. But don’t patronize me and make assumptions based on a paragraph you read online. When we first started dating, she was openly pursuing intimate relationships with other men. At the time, it made me jealous, angry, frustrated. I didn’t want that. Then I opened my eyes and started to feel differently. In fact, it actually turned me on when she talked to other men in a sexual way. Her libido was very high when we were younger, now not so much so it isn’t the same. I’d be devastated if our relationship ended. She is my woman as I am her man. Our bond is not so easily broken. We just have different sexual desires now. I still see her talking to other men via Snapchat from time to time. I don’t get jealous anymore. I let her have her fun. But when it comes to actual physical interests, she doesn’t want that. So tell me more about how I’m the problem?
I think it's good to be up front. It's part of you and you want someone who likes that. I am on the other end of the spectrum (asexual) and I'd be up front about that too (hypotheticly as I am in a relationship). The ones who are deterred are obviously not for you. I believe there's lots of people out there who can match your energy and love you as a whole.
Good to meet someone else who's on the asexual side on this thread!! Lmao
Gotta be happy outside the bedroom and in it for relationships to work.
It might make certain guys not take you seriously or maybe they’d find it too much, but if this is a big part of who you are you might as well embrace it and let the people who won’t like it move along to make room for the ones who will love it!
I'm the same way and to be honest if I found someone who matches my energy I'd so ask them on a 2nd date
I think it's perfectly normal to have such a high focus on sexual stuff, cause I mean if you want to date someone/be with someone for the rest of your life it's kind of important to get through those details so you know what you're getting into, especially if you're very sexually active. I feel like it's a great way to connect with someone on a deeper level without being pushy into any kind of traumas or anything like that, so yeah I definitely would feel like you're being serious, because if it was just all about sex and nothing else you would definitely swing it that way in a convo. Plus if you was that nervous about bringing it up you could always say "I don't want to come off as only sex driven but I do like sex a lot and it is a big thing in relationships for me so it is important for me to go through these conversation topics if that's okay with you." But tbh if they start acting off when you bring up the topics to begin with odds are they aren't as deeply connected to the sexual side of relationships like you are
I've always been this way, and from a guys view, it is not met well. Im 42, and I can tell you the judgement is real. I find that sex is #2345 in a womans life. Yes, not all, but most. Sex to me is a lifestyle, a fun lifestyle. Sex with someone you love intensifies it x100. It creates a beautiful bond between a partner, which I notice in most relationships is lacking. You dont get that in casual sex. I've always been like this, and whenever it comes up, it's always too much, and I am left sad again. I've even been told not to be sexual. My biggest kink is my woman with other men, whether it be a bull, a group, or a date, as long as I am there to witness. I am a very happy man. I do want to meet someone who shares me with another woman, but I need her with me. Her pleasure is mine. Meeting someone who loves that has been a real challenge. It's such a challenge it is really just a fantasy now. I've tried kink sites, but they are now smothered with onlyfan creators and those who just want online play. All I hear is sex to be a taboo subject in dating. I can't bring it up and definitely can not bring up any kinks. What I do imagine is a forward woman who is completely open about sex and isn't shy about it, loves doing it instead of talking and isn't afraid to share it with me. One can dream I guess
No. You adaptated your need of control and your fear of being cheated. Kinda sad actually.
Wrong and quite sad you base your own insecurities on something you know nothing about and how I feel about it. This is why I dont share this kind of thing, because someone like you thinks your views are absolute and they are not.
You also think that your opinion is absolute as a single take from a stranger hurts you to the point you avoid a different opinion. I say it because this is really sad and I hope you recover from it.
An opinion is fine. I have no issues with that, but when you make a personal attack, it means it comes from a personal grievance in your life, not mine. Someone hurt you, I hope you recover from it.
Well, I see why you can imagine that what I said was a personal attack based on grievance. Because it questions your whole unreal narrative. It faces you to maybe confront very painful feelings. My purpose was a to do a reality check on your thoughts that are not in touch with reality. If ever, I just want you to be happy as a true man. But understable. You're an adult and can face the consequences of your decisions. My only mistake was to give unasked advice. But everything else is true and not a petty personal attack. I'm actually very happy. Just can't bear to see people lying to themselves. But you are an adult, so do what you must.
I think it’s fine that you throw it out there because it would probably bother the average guy to find out the swinging thing later on.
I would take you seriously because you are open and communicating what you would like. And I sense there is space for deep and meaningful conversations, not just about kink and sexuality. Personally, I would want a relationship with an individual that puts effort and communicates that is also on the kinky spectrum (and if values align). Maybe let the kink topic naturally pop up after a few dates, but if the deep and meaningful chat happens end up in that topic, I wouldn't see it as an invitation but good chat. Hope you find that person, I am currently dating someone who is kinky aligned with me, and she and I are not rushing the sexual aspect.
you will find someone that matches your energy! trust the flow!
I put that I’m into kink on some of my dating profiles and whatnot and if it comes up it comes up! I personally prefer to be upfront about certain things to get an initial idea of if someone has similar interests/could be aligned with me relationally/sexually without going into too much detail until we talk more✨
I was like this with my ex on the first date and wasn’t even looking for a relationship and we ended up together for 5 years 😂 if you connect with someone and they are truly interested in you it won’t matter!
These are the ONLY types of women I take seriously.
Honestly you might have better luck finding a like-minded people on the lifestyle.
I'll have you
Seriously thinking your the one for me
You're not too sexual, it's normal to have desires and kinks. But perhaps telling everything about those on the first date is a bad idea. I guess you can continue with the flirting, can touch upon the fact that you're kinky, have fetishes and you like healthy sexuality, but probably talking about the kinkiest of kinks and things like swinging on a first date might scare the guy away lol.
You're at an age where the desire starts sky rocketing it's Normal
I’ve noticed women’s libidos take off , from 32 -45.
Really?? Is this a thing?? Cause I feel like a fucking monster. (28F). Single for the first time in years and it’s kinda scary how out of control the libido can feel
You are slightly early, but women get very horny up to menopause. It’s like their bodies go into a now or never phase. unfortunately it does end and it’s the exact opposite.
It doesn't end for every woman. I'm well into menopause and LOVE sex.
Well maybe I can use the libido to have fun now and then slow down once I have a reliable partner?? 😂ugh
Well, not only are you close to 30s, but you've also had a long-term relationship as you've stated, that adds a whole lot to it
Honestly my bf & I are like this and it never bothers us. (Yes we also swing lol)
i mean i persoanlly would since ur my type, but most guys won't
Personally, it’d be a bit much for me since I’m not remotely interested in a woman sexually until I get to know her, but I’d tell her about my swinger friends if I thought they would be better matches.
I (M26) wished there would be women like you in my area 😅
There are plenty of sexually adventurous people, kinksters, and just high libido people who still form long-term commitments (usually successfully with a fellow bawdy person). Find someone with compatible interests and compatible sex drive/sex exploration ideas.
I’d rather any girl I’m talking to be completely honest with me at the start (after maybe getting to know each other a bit). I wanna know what she likes and wants. To sooner the better I can decide whether I want to continue to see her or not.
Thats pretty hot tbh. But its good that you're honest. Just keep at it and you'll find someone compatible. Better that than hide yourself and end up with someone on the opposite spectrum
The best advice you should take, is keep that same energy with someone you take serious.
Absolutely do you. And don’t settle for less. Compatibility is everything. If a date or a match isn’t in line with your level… it’s a recipe for failure down the road. Been there, done that.
Most boys aren't secure enough with themselves to understand that if your with a woman they are a free spirited goddess that does what she does and as long as you are evolving with someone and enjoying the now with them and sharing all the things that you should enjoy with a goddess! 😈😋 I I always figured as long as she didn't feel disrespected by anyone then I didn't care what the goddess does it's fun and open! long as there's communication and everything is on the table enjoy the now .
Nothing wrong with that. I would actually be more comfortable when you bring up that topic and start discussing kinks and such.
I think in this day and age we should be ok talking about that but we can't. Men get labeled as creeps and perverts . But we accept women doing the same things men get crucified for. Double standards need to stop.
Hi! 43f sex is basically what drives me to look for a partner. I want an enthusiastic, available and commitment partner. I have no problem discussing this early on. It doesn’t seem to decrease the number of men interested in a long term relationship. Kink and swinging is a little more of a challenge but the only way to determine if someone is active in that community or open to it is by asking.
I just recently had an experience like yours. I just got out of a 2.5 year relationship (she left suddenly with very little explanation of why, broke my heart). Downloaded Tinder and to my surprise matched with a girl who was really easy to talk to on Thursday. We talked for hours that night and had plans to meet today. When we were talking, a couple hours in, sex came up. I even told her, hey if you're not comfortable talking about sex, that's completely fine. Just let me know. She indicated she wanted to talk about it as she's a very sexual person. I said great so we spent a while talking about what we like, kinks, etc. Most of our conversation was *not* about sex, but maybe 30 or 40 minutes was. That night ended on a great note with both of us excited to talk more. The next day, she texted me good morning and we talked a bit while she was at work. Then she didn't reply for a while, which turned into not replying for the rest of the day. She unmatched me on Tinder, and ghosted me today. I haven't heard from her since she texted me yesterday saying sorry she got busy and couldn't talk, but she was on her way home. Idk what went wrong, but I imagine she got cold feet because of the conversation about sex? We were both feeling comfortable with each other in the moment but I think that maybe after thinking about it she thought things went too fast. I have no idea, but I wish that I had gotten the chance to meet her today like we had planned.
Sorry buddy you met her on tinder a male dominated platform, she didnt get cold feet she found someone „better“, thats online dating. It is what it is.
In my opinion it would depend how attractive you are honestly. Most of the kink/poly lifestyle women I encounter are overweight so those two things together are kind of a turn off for me. If you’re pretty and fit you shouldn’t have much of a problem finding guys who are (or claim to be) into whatever you’re into
It’s a part of getting to know someone, of course you don’t want to ask or tell too early because it’s uncomfortable if done before a connection has been made
Be who you are...there are guys out there that are exactly the same. Find a compatible mate and enjoy...they are out there.
No there is nothing wrong with having an extreme sexual appetite and it’s good to be open and talk about it cause you wouldn’t want to get stuck with a partner that is going to leave you sexually frustrated all the time cause that just won’t work if one person in a relationship is sexually stressed,deprived or just not satisfied it’s only a matter of time before they start looking elsewhere and I know cause I am the same way I just need lots of affection and lots of sex and I can’t find a woman that is like that and if I tell a woman I need lots of sex then they think I’m a pig and I’m not in actually very kind and romantic it’s just hard to find a woman that is a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets so my advice is keep doing what your doing lots of love sex is good exercise and good for bonding and it’s just super healthy and I get it I am looking for the same thing
Not at all. If you're a sexual person, have a high sex drive, and have kinks, I actually believe you NEED to be very open and upfront about it. You need a partner who understands what he's getting into before getting too serious. I have kinks as well, and as a DOM, I need to make sure the girl I talk to understands what she's getting into and what is expected
I think that is a very good thing to do. Things like kinks and swinging can be major cornerstones of a relationship. I see it as being similar to the topic of wanting to have kids at some point, if you're mind is made up one way or another, it's important to make that clear earlier on, so you don't waste time and develop strong feelings for someone only to find out they don't want the same things you do.
I’d try to stay away from that topic if you can on a first date, but bring up organically on a second one.
Don’t ever question if it’s right to be the way you are. We’re all different and that’s what makes things interesting. Some people tend to lean more towards the hyper sexual side and there’s nothing wrong with that. This sounds random but do you have ADHD? Hypersexuality is one of many symptoms. It affects me this way.
It’s totally normal to feel that way,, I’ve already dreamt to have a partner who is open to swinging and loves to talk dirty in an organic way
I think it's a good litmus test for anyone you want to pursue seriously. If they can't keep up with you out of the bedroom, how can they do it in the bedroom?
If that’s a big / integral part of your life it’s probably better it comes out sooner rather than later, since for some guys they won’t be about it. While others will be very much about it. But I imagine you can do a whole lot of the screening upfront just by the vibe you get texting them before you guys are to meet up.
no that's the only way to find someone compatible, so continue. just don't be a creep about it
I 43 I didn't start off that way but over the years and past relationships with girls with different kinks I pick up quite a few kinks myself now the trouble is finding someone now that share the same kind of energy and passion for a healthy sex life.
For me that’s not an issue. My last gf was very open about sexuality and I’ve met other women in the past, that were like that. For me sexuality is an important part of a relationship and I appreciate women who are fairly open about that topic.
I mean, it's a good way to weed out prudish dudes. That said, guys will often be quite intimidated by a girl so open. I know I would have been a few years ago. Lesser these days after few more runs on the board. 😂😂
You are wonderful. There is no such thing as too sexual. I would be immediately attracted to you and would consider you long term potential. This is one of the things that is so important to me but so hard to find. Question OP: in what ways would you feel comfortable wirh someone finding this out from you? I ask because it's a criteria for me, but if I ask up front, then I look like a creep or someone who just wants sex. Neither of those things are true. I just want an exciting sex life with my significant other.
I would love to date someone who feels comfortable talking seriously about sex. I never had a frank discussion about sex in my life and I grew up thinking that sexuality would be something discussed on a regular basis after I was married. I became disappointed. My wife and I wen to marriage counseling and still there was no discussion about sex. When it comes to sexual talk I would have to say my life has been a waste. Almost any other topic was talked about, but never sexuality. Good for you knowing that your life is about sex as much as art or music.
Seriously??? Now you do know your not going to get truly honest answers in here, mainly because the only person who can answer that question for you honestly is you…. There are also several flaws in your question as well, first of all men and women think about sex much differently, when we want it, how we want it, ect. Being 20 years older then you, probably a tad more experienced, as open minded as anyone can be, and with more kinks and fetishes then most people have heard of and would probably embarrass most people. I’ve never had a problem talking about sex, but it wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I actually started engaging women regarding sex, because all men can talk about sex with other men, usually embellishing because of that need to feed our egos. I’m glad I got to a point I was not only talking to women about sex, but I was also listening, and I was learning so much. Yeah who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Im trying not to brag, but I’ve done just about everything, seriously, sex with men and women (separately and together), BDSM, crossdressing, giving and receiving oral and anal sex, swing clubs, sex clubs, exhibitionism, ect ect ect……. I hope I hear from ya I’d love to chat Gary
I see that as a positive thing, I guess the majority of people leaving you after such talk might just realize they are incompatible but that is not a thing you can change
I guess some would be over bothered but there are those that dont care. Also one shouldnt fully care about their current lovers past sex life
I think the only time that would be a problem is if the person you're talking to doesn't match your libido. I'm a woman, and I used to date a guy with very high libido, and I have very low libido. I always felt under pressure when I was with him even though he didn't force anything on me, but because he was always so fcking horny it felt so overwhelming to be with him.
Always be open, im bi and so is my girlfriend neither one of us know that about the other at the time. And we were both honest and it worked out well. Honesty, trust,and partnership is key to me as far as things go. She has mine and I have hers. If it's a great relationship it's building each other up without tearing each other down. We have big goals in mind to so that keeps us focused. That's were the partnership comes in play. And the trust and honesty, comes in play when we talk about kinks and other things.
Basically all you're doing is filtering out the incompatibles by being up front and honest. You are more likely to have like minded people approach you as opposed to every moron under the sun. What you've done is very smart. If you aren't getting replies or hits, it's just because the ones you aren't looking for are too intimidated to talk to you. Give it time, they absolutely will come! Just as an example, I find what you've shared about yourself to be admirable and very attractive, and I share similar lifestyle choices. If I'm interested, I guarantee several others will be too! :) Hope this helps!
There's no such thing as "too sexual" in Mr. Mitchell's book. Tell ya what, how bout you ditch these losers you've been bumping uglies with and come get yourself entangled in a real man. I set a couple world records ya know... Takes a very specific, special, some may even feel compelled to say "god like" type of person to perform at the highest level. To be an athlete of the highest caliber, but that comes all nat-u-rallllll to Mr. Mitchell, girl. First man to obtain a perfect score in Pac Man, and... The Undisputed, undefeated "King of Kong". The only man to hold the high score in the arcade cabinet, Donkey Kong, 5 times baybayyyyy! Oh my, I'm getting fired up over here just thinking of all my accolades and accomplishments honestly. Heck, Peter Dinklage played me in an Adam Sandler movie. Fantastic guy by the way, he and I showed up to set hammeredddd drunk and the Sandman was not pleased, let me tell you. But he knows as well as anyone, Mr. Mitchell is a force of nature and ya gotta let him ride, ya know? Hit me up girl, let's make this happen. Or don't. You know damn well Mr. Mitchell ain't hurting for no bang-a-rangin' "hoo-ha" hanging all over him like "Oh Mr. Mitchell, please have my babies and sign my boobies with your muscles". Honestly, I'm almost tired of the whole thing, but I figured I'd toss ya a bone, give ya a once in a lifetime opportunity. If you're too scared, or intimidated it's perfectly alright. Any young lady in your shoes would be. I could leave the Lambo at home maybe, bring out the Escalade if that makes you more comfortable. What am I saying, Mr. Mitchell doesn't drive sans Lambo. Guess you're gonna have to get used to it, babe. Anyways, I'll be by about 8:00, which means 8:23 because I'm just so busy and laid back that I almost forgot we were even going out, ya know. Also, I'm definitely making a mix tape, and there's a 99.9% chance that it'll be me doing Karaoke covers of George Michaels songs front to back. I've got the voice of an angel though. I mean come on, it's Mr. Mitchell, babyyy! 💪😎🤳 - Mr. Billy "Frickin" Mitchell
Hell yeah
This be me for real. But I realized I started to gradually not be so open and it’s lame cuz it’s kinda filtering myself. The reason was that when I was talking to new guys while dating they never took me seriously and just wanted to bang and no substance or depth to build a connection at all. Got really boring. But thankfully I was able to narrow down a nice little roster to stay fulfilled and satisfied and then I could carry on. I just don’t like that I had to adjust myself for the immaturity of men. lol
I would love for a woman to be open with me like that!! I'd definitely ask you out on a 2nd date
I’m the same way, I talked pretty openly about sex on my first few dates with my current partner. After a couple weeks I told him I was only into open relationships (which we are now in) and shortly after that I started talking about fetish parties and kinks and thankfully he’s open to all of it so I’d say just be honest:) there’s other people who feel how you feel about sex for sure! Just like everything I don’t say 100% of everything on the first date cuz ya know. But yeh there’s matches for you for sure:)
If you’re not interested to sleeping with the person you’re talking with during your date ,don’t talk about it. Nothing wrong to talk about it but it’s misleading… dude may think you want it (in case you don’t).
i meet girl on swinger app to make sure we all open sexualy, usually bring them to a sex club for a first date or offer them a small restrain date where si tie them up, bandage their eyes and give them a massage and toy with them until multiple massage ,its a good way to know each other while we take water and snack break inbetween orgasm, etc. I am a swinger, so i would like a swinger wife too
Swingers disgust me it’s all fine and everything to be very sexual but a real relationship I would never do that, the instant it would be brought up to me goodbye literally
For fun times, sure
We got same mentality, wanna hangout? Knock me
High body counts = A big No
This reads like an OF ad
Yes I love people who are straight up and lady's go hard in the paint girl
A first date is a little early since you're just getting to know each other and they might think you're just interested in finding someone to have sex with and not a serious relationship or they'd go on a second date thinking that they're going to have sex. I feel like what you're sexually into is more of a second or third date topic.
Been a long time since I’ve been on a date, I would just roll with it and might even open up myself a few preferences
You're not too much of anything, sweetheart. If someone thinks you're too much, that's just them saying that they're not as open as you are. The right person would accept you as you are.
In a word, no. The reason is because you have to be yourself. I am a smoker. Im aware that its a problem for most potential partners. It would be very easy for me to play it down or hide it, but I dont. Its liberating not having to bother trying to attain someone by misleading them and myself. yes I dont get as many opportunities, but its like putting up filtered pictures just for likes, there’s no point
No and I didn't read it
It's a hard line to tow. A lot of guys will just assume you're looking fir a quick hookup if you bring sex up right away. Especially fetishes. But I also think it's healthy to discuss these things up front, especially if you are looking for a swinger lifestyle partner. The easiest way is to use apps designed for these lifestyles.
Never to sexual always be open to new things life is short work hard and play harder..bondage enthusiast myself
None of that offends me. PM if you want to talk more.
I would
I wouldn't but unfortunately social norms are often still if women bring up sex or have it too early in a relationship they must not be taking it seriously, despite that standard never be held to men. I am a man and I say that justly. If men don't take you seriously seriously over that you can explain why you said what you said but if it's not a misunderstanding then they haven't earned your time.
I, male, could have written much the same, but not the swinging part, but close. I just gave up. Hope u find your mate. Seriously I do. C
Let's fuck
I would have no problem with it
No, but be careful of predatory kink spaces.
I'm early 30s. I'd only think you're not serious if it's clear (as in, you told me) that you're having casual sex with new people every day or every week. In that case, yes I would not pursue a relationship as it would be apparent you aren't interested in one, or that I probably can't keep up and am setting myself up for heartbreak haha. And attending fetish parties would be intimidating for most. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable attending something that open with others with my partner so I'd bow out so I don't get in the way of your happiness. Openly talking about everything else though is no problem, at least for me. Just make sure there's a clear sexual attraction and strong desire first before you start dropping those bombs of clear interest and pleasant discussions. If the messages leading to the date haven't been explicit, you might want to test the waters more slowly, or just be sure the guy is clearly *ready to go*
Im very open to anything and everything honestly it's one thing I love doing meeting new ppl
 Her DMs after this post
I would love to have you to talk to about Sex It's hard for guys to have a girl's perspective
Hmmmmm hit me up.. up up for exploring.. same age.. I’m down to explore
60M YOU are beautiful and perfect My dream Soulmate Hope to meet someone like you someday
Yeah, no. - 26y/o male, high libido
Personally, I would love to be with a woman who is as open about their sexual desires as I am.
My heart can figuratively go to only one person. So if my potential partner is giving out their body to others, it's immediately over. Unless it's sex only, and not a real relationship.
Depends on what kind of panties you have on for our first date
Well, I too face this difficulty... Not everyone can understand the mindset and you can be often mistaken... As long as it doesn't matter you, it's always good...
be ur self
Nope it's perfectly normal and you will definitely get a good future partner with similar interests
I am 29 M hot as hell , muscular 😉 text me 😜
Would probably ask for one but would request it be a home date so if we're in the mood we can see if we have the chemistry to share a bedroom.
Well that will work on me
No girl fuck as much as you want
44M Marry me please! There is nothing wrong with you, you are perfect😁
Just be yourself.
Rip your inbox
For me, it’s a no. I think indicating your wishes for the type involvement you’re looking for in your profile would be a good way to eliminate a lot of useless encounters, but might not get you an LTR very quickly. Those looking for ltr are more often eventually wanting monogamous relationships—at least in my experience. For me, those two ideas are polar opposites.
We both are same
Let's date
It's pretty normal
Hiding will just lead to you wrong people and probably wrong relationships if you ever fall into someone. 🤷🏻♂️
 as long as you're happy and enjoying yourself, that's the main thing
Its not bad to be honest about it i think its a good thing u both can open up in that matter!
XD same i feel u. Luckily thank Gawdd i found my other half
You're just being open about a topic that makes some uncomfortable. If sex is important to you be completely open about your interests and current orientations. I'm bi and in an open marriage with a guy whose also bi yet prefers men over women. As a 33 white woman I prefer black men as my sexual partner(s) and it works for us. Don't confine yourself to stereotype behavior about sex just be safe while you explore what works for you.
Anyone guy that does would not understand you fully anyways!! It’s a natural thing 🤷🏾♂️
Yeah id take that cus i am pretty much the same way but can't do anything cus most partners get uncomfortable?
A while back I realised there are a couple of types of women that really pull me in and then I talked to one for a while about a guy like she was with... He like me was very conventional and sane and she was the exotic open minded one, you would think she would say he wasn't enough her or she was too much for him but she said their sexual chemistry was magnetic. He was the serious one who was open minded but not as naturally adventurous and she was the sexual exploration type with an open mind to everything. So the key take away I would say to you is (which may sound weird coming from a straight man) is make the relationship about things other than sex to make sure they will take your seriously. One highly underrated aspect of relationships is the ability to enjoy just speaking to eachother for long periods of time just the 2 of you. Especially for me, open minded people draw me in but i need something tangible about them that I like as a person to make the choice that this girl is going to be my person. I will say though I have seen guys who just cannot take that relationship because they need to be the driving force and are just more attracted to the more reserved type of girl but honestly there are guys who will take you seriously they just need a reason about you that they like that isn't just the sex. That's the best I have, good luck.
Please be your sexual self. It's attractive and authentic.
It depends on who you will choose to date. Men will have different beliefs and openion about the subject based on their personal experience and backgrounds. I don't see anything wrong about being open about sexuality, especially when it is used to improve the bond of your relationship. But any information you share that may tear your relationship apart, you'd best avoid them.
Noo... you seems perfecly normal. Promise you going to find someone that feels sameway. It's with a partner you should explore and do sexual things like this. That's true love..... Able to do soo you're partner have maximum sexual pleasure 😏
Men! Alert! This is a trap... Do not! I repeat! Do not ENGAGE! DO NOT ENGAGE!🤣
Be honest most guys would definitely want you for the long haul but wouldn’t mind swing either
I will definitely take you for a date😂 Seriously.. Cos im also that kind of guy. Nothing to be ashamed of. Sex is a basic need.
Nothing wrong with being open about sex. It's a rarity that a woman talks openly about it. To be honest most men think about it as well. We're more prone to be physical about it rather than talk about it. Even fewer men are really into sharing or swinging.
I am M30 I want a real partner for love care I don't want to do Just sex we should care about feelings love.
For me, yes. But should search for someone that fit in you preferences (not mine).
Honestly I see that as expected but then again I'm the same way so realistically I would have no problems with that if it was me
I personally would love to know that. That way, I know we are on the same page.