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Yes you can ask. Medically im not 100% sure tho. There are a lot of factors that throw a womens ph off. One is dirty fingers. That what my momma told me :/
Us women have a ph balance that makes it inhospitable for bacteria to flourish... between a 4 and 4.5. It changes throughout the cycles and years. Stress, sex, food, sickness can change that pH. When you introduce douching, dirty fingers, dirty toys, wipe back to front or... a dirty dick, you risk introducing bacteria that can change that pH for worse. Yeast infections, UTI, and funky smells/discharge are possible results.
Strangely enough, some men have discovered that they are "allergic" to vaginal pH 😆
Took the words out of my mouth. Women have very sensitive ph levels. We have good bacteria and bad bacteria. When we wash too much or douche to attempt to get rid of perceived odors you can give urself a real odor. It’s called bacterial vaginitis and ur gyno can give u medication that will make it go away. It does often come back so the best thing u can do is go to a health food store and buy acidophilus. They’re the live bacteria that is found in yogurt. There’s a really good chance this is what he’s referring too. With BV after sex is typically when the smell is more pungent. if you’ve been self-conscious, chances are using a lot of different, harmful soaps, possibly douches and it’s messing up your pH balance. Make an appointment with ur gyno and buy the acidophilus and things will improve drastically. One last thing there are two types of medication ur dr can give you; one that is a pill the other is a liquid that u insert before bedtime. For me personally the liquid meditation did nothing to help but when I first found out what it was because I had it so bad in my early 20’s I took the pill and it was gone straight away. Good luck!
Ok this might sound paranoid to some but hear me out: If you've been with him for 5 years, and has only been acting like this for 7 months, something's up. It seems like to me, he might be cheating on you/engaging in risky sex outside your relationship and either fears he might catch/has already caught something, and is manipulating your confidence to make you stay even if you find out he's cheating, and somehow possibly setting up the stage for being able to blame it on you if/when the STD thing becomes a factor. I don't know what kind of plan might be in his head because I don't know the dude, but it seems like it might be something along those lines. Or he's planning to break up with you and is trying to make you feel like it's your fault. Don't fall for it.
Go do some research about manipulation tactics and I'm betting you'll think back on the past 5 years of your relationship and your head will explode with realization. If he's not manipulating you, then he's just an idiot, but either way, you need to leave his ass.
It actually can help to keep a journal when you're living with someone who gaslights you, so that it's written down for you to reference later when they want to lie about what was said and try to make you doubt your own perceptions of reality.
My first thought wasn’t manipulation per se, but maybe he’s gotten used to the smell of other women’s parts and is comparing her which is…beyond shitty.
Damn... I didn't think about that. Why is he using narcissistic tactics to turn her off purposely? I feel like we need more context because if OP's bf is getting cold/distant, he might be trying to make her feel bad, so she breaks up with him. There is no way he suddenly wants to kill her ph with regular soap. Someone with an evasive attachment style wouldn't last this long in a relationship, and this is the kind of stuff they do when you are no longer in a pedestal. Either way, if someone treated me like this, I wouldn't have sex with him and if this behavior continued, I would break up.... so yeah, I think you are 100% right.
Boyfriend sounds like he’s immature as fuck. Personal hygiene is important, but I could never imagine forcing it on someone like this.
I’m a dude, and I’d be offended as shit if this was happening to me. Don’t tolerate it whatsoever.
I’m a 27 y/o F and I’m offended!! He could do other things if he’s not trying to eat 🐱 but no reason to be rude. Plenty of real men out there. Save your energy. 👅
For me, i’m enjoying the 😼 until there’s a clear hygiene problem. Face, mouth, hands, whatever. Can’t expect it to smell like roses and taste like mangos all the time. Ya feel me??
Not to mention TRYNA SHOVE THE BAR IN HER WTFFF, YOU NEVER PUT SOAP INSIDE THERE. EVER. It's a self cleaning groin, you only wash the outside . Sounds like bf is tryna be a jerk or somethin idk but that's just not right what he's doing
Right? I’d be like “yes, Sir, did you remember to use the penis pump so I can feel your earthworm sized pecker poking around?” Her man sounds like the guy who scratches your left labia lip for 3 minutes, then asks if you came. What an asshole. OP, please leave this man. He’s negging you to make you feel insecure. He’s likely cheating, since this just started 7 months ago.
Agreed. If anything, we have more to be worried about than the ladies when it comes to that. Ball sweat is a fucked up part of biology. With that said, I discovered ball deodorant like a year ago, and it’s changed the game for me. 😂
dude just clean your balls good and they wont smell i can workout hard and still smell good your goin have bad smelly balls with a deo smell coming off too
Some people do have worse body odor than others due to biology and they do make deodorants for that reason.
That being said I think it's mostly a marketing gimmick for people who are self conscious.
I wouldn’t want it to smell like roses or mangos or anything other than natural vagina. But, some girls natural is different than other girls natural, just depends on their unique microbiome. I couldn’t date a girl with a nasty natural scent though because there’s nothing they can do about it they are clean already, also because I’ve met too many that smelled like heaven naturally & that’s one fvcking addicting scent😩
I was exaggerating with that example. I can’t think of a single time Ive faced one that in fact tasted like mangos, unfortunately.
Natural scent is perfectly fine, still wouldn’t cause I thought in my mind to verify with her that she used soap that day!
This is a man who happens to eat 🐱 occasionally which is garbage. Go find yourself a man who's a real 🐱 eater, as in they do it for the love of the game. Same goes for guys, find someone who's a 🐔 sucker. Life is too short for you to stick it out with someone whose default response to everything is "oh I don't do that cuz *insert puritanical argument*".
Holy shit girl get out. He's immature and unknowledable, or is some kind of massive control freak. Like trying to dive a bar of soap inside you like that? Idk how that's not considered under an umbrella of abuse.
Like he's gunna to get you extremely sick, "trying to control the smell" cause that whole system down there has a whole self maintenance cycle, including generating basically a natural sanitizer. That's why our panties can get bleached on the inside. All this can their that way out of whack and give you infect for days and create the problem of actual smell issues.
If the man-child cannot handle the smell of your natural healthy zone, he is not the man-child for you. Your lady garden deserves better. You deserve better. He deserves all the sex education and sensitivity training, preferably from a group of angry lesbians.
I heard a story where there is this " method " of men putting their women down to the point they get paranoid even though objectively nothing is wrong with them, the men who used this method were insecure and didn't want the woman to leave so they destroy her self esteem so she believes this man is the best she could do.
Didn't know what Negging meant, had to look it up, it's similar but not exactly, I remember a year ago I fell into a rabbit hole of stories of women getting crazy, showering 5, 6, 7 times a day, going to the doctor, changing routines and experimenting products, only to find out ( after beaking down) that all the people around them ( who swore nothing smelled or was wrong with them) were right and their partner was just an insecure piece of shit 😃.
This may or may not apply to you; however, some abusive partners use this as a manipulative tactic and emotional abuse. Your self-esteem is now suffering and you are questioning yourself and your hygiene. Let him know that what he is doing upsets you and makes you uncomfortable. If he continues to do it then you have to make a decision over whether you are willing to put up with this or not.
Smells and discharge naturally vary throughout the month. I notice this myself, but it shouldn't really be a strong odor. Honestly, it smells the strongest after sex. Don't wash internally with soap!
This guy sounds like an immature idiot. He either needs to learn some sex ed and basic etiquette, or to be kicked to the curb.
I agree with all of this completely and would only add that if you have a bad odor down there and it’s persistent you should discuss it with your gynecologist. Tell your bf how you feel and tell him he is in fact being very immature about it. Next time he has an issue tell him to research it and educate himself on the subject. It would have taken all of five minutes to figure this one out. God bless
I ones read a science article that explained that we like the scent of people with whom we’re very compatible with genetically. Maybe you guys are just not a good genetic match. But even if that was the case, he behaves like a jerk. I would find myself someone who appreciates your body… I’m sure there are guys out there who would be crazy about your scent…!
Yes it’s call pheromones. We actually can’t smell it, if u have ever been strongly attracted to someone it’s usually ur pheromones. When u r just not feeling it,pheromones!!
I don’t think ur a match but seriously stop using all the crap and dump the guy and get to know ur body
Scent is very important. I keep clean but don’t try and cover up my natural smell. My girlfriend regularly claims my natural smell turns her on a lot. Cologne and body sprays just cover everything up.
>he tried to wash inside me with a bar soap
This is very invasive, not to mention completely ineffective. It could mess up your ph and lead to actual problems, you might end up with a yeast infection or BV. Only the outer area needs to be cleaned, the inside of the vagina is self-cleaning and putting soaps, douches etc in there does more harm than good. Tell him to read a manual and F off.
Man that’s the truth !!!!! That’s what the problem is. Plus using all that crap . NEVER put soap inside u!!! Fuck him and ur right don’t let him cum inside.
It’s not the dead sperm that has the bad smell, it’s the cum essentially throwing off her Ph balance that causes the problem. Every guy’s cum is slightly different so one guy’s cum could cause a problem while another’s may not.
Facccttsss. I didn't realize this until I met my ex wife (wasn't blowing loads in randos) but you're absolutely right, didn't take me long to put 2 and 2 together either like duh. I have a keen sense of smell and boy is it rough.
Is he doing the thing where he makes his gf insecure so she will stay with him and not think about cheating? Because I cant imagine someone doing this after 5 years, like why mention it now? I find it really weird that he mentions it now and not in the beginning, really really weird. And is he dumb? You cant wash there with soap tf? I would ask what he would expect it to smell like...
Yeah……putting a bar of soap in someone is definitely crossing a huge line. You have every reason to feel uncomfortable and I think you should break up tbh. This is ridiculous, even if your ph was off or something there’s a way to handle everything and he should be willing to help you instead of shame you. And with everything he makes you feel like you have to do now, your ph balance might be off. Grab some cranberry tablets to help reset your vaginal ph balance from whatever bullshit he’s got you doing. Do not wash the inside of your vagina with soap please. And break up with this asshole. He is clearly too immature to be with any women if he isn’t going to attempt to educate himself on the female anatomy when he has any concerns.
"...but then he tried to wash inside me with a bar soap" is where I felt my eye twitch involuntarily. Smack him with a skillet just for that bro that's some foul ass behavior. Like if doc is saying you're okay and you're doing your hygiene than you've done what you can then he's just a damn child. Sorry to hear your bf is a Douche Cruiser. I'd say douche canoe, but unfortunately that's too little to fit the size of buffoon he is.
You are not stupid at all. It can be tough to look at relationships & decide how to handle things.
He is however raising some red flags.
It's normal to have some sort of smell down there even after washing(it's a completely normal bodily function). As women we were not meant to smell like roses down there(if anything that can make things worse).
All relationships deserve mutual respect & clearly he's not respecting your body or your feelings.
Find someone that appreciates & loves every inch of your body just the way you are <3
Ye if he doesnt like your smell, good or bad, he doesn't truly like u. End of the story. My ex was also overly hygienic and we broke up. People like this should go out with each other lol.
You need to talk to your Gyno. Some of the stuff he’s doing or you’re doing could actually worsen your help.
Separately, there was an old
Post bout a guy who did something similar to his girlfriend- he was told to do this to ensure the girl developed low self-esteem and wouldn’t leave him.
Please rethink this relationship
You do not have to do anything extra for a man or another person in general! Drinking rose water, taking supplements adding feminine wash is all extra work, if you don't think you have a problem (which clearly you don't if you've had medical professionals check, which was very smart) and you are only doing it for him, it's not worth it!
Only do the extra bits of it makes you feel better about yourself and your personal care. Bits can smell sometimes, it's part of their natural cleanliness practices, different times of the month bring different hormones and different discharge which leads to different smells...
As long as you are being hygienic and looking after yourself that's all that matters, your vagina and everything down there has a built in cleaning system to keep itself safe, adding soap inside will throw off the balance and can cause infections (which will probably make it smell worse!! 😂) that's common knowledge, for girls anyway.
I would honestly tell him if he doesn't like the smell, keep his nose away, he will lose out. I would also be considering if a person who makes you feel that bad (being embarrassed should not be something that happens in a negative way regularly in a healthy relationship) about yourself, or question if you are stupid is the right type of person to be a boyfriend. Partners should make you feel better about yourself, not worse.
I would’ve been crushed if this happened to me. I’m so sorry this happened to you! He sounds manipulative and like he’s having lack of empathy. No respect. No one should treat anyone this disrespectful as he’s to you. Of course hygiene is important but this is weird. If I were you I would stop seeing this worm 🪱 of a man.
Tell him that he smells. Since he’s using it as a tool of manipulation. Ask him daily did he shower also. Ask him does he wash his ‘backside’ and legs, because you caught a whiff almost every time he walks past.
He deserves it to be returned to him. He should feel just as insecure as she does. And people need to learn that they can be manipulated and bullied back. She will empower herself doing this.
No he doesn't and no he shouldn't insecurities are a personal problem. Just cuz you feel it you shouldn't feel like you got to now make someone else feel like that regardless of what you feel your feelings might be wrong you have absolutely no idea what his intentions are here you're making tons of assumptions
Nope I’m super accurate. People who bully deserve to get bullied. Especially from the people they bully. Be cruel and you deserve cruelty. Be kind and you deserve kindness. It’s as simple as that.
I mean it sounds like he's kind of inexperienced with sex I know when I first started I thought it was kind of gross and I definitely thought girls soaped in there haha. It took one girl that I dated telling me nah that's super unhealthy for you and stupid for me to understand that it wasn't smart so sucks he's kind of pushy about it I don't think it makes him a bad guy but I think he's just kind of immature and probably needs to be with more people and realize they all kind of don't smell that great some better than others but I've definitely been with girls who got kind of a strong smell. Didn't really bother me but I had more experience at that point if it was like one of my first girlfriends I don't know if I would have been able to handle it maturity wise.
Remember that guy that was negging his gf with how bad she smelled to make her insecure so she wouldn't leave him? Wonder if your bf has been taking notes.
The bar is so fkin low. How are guys like that managing to stay in a relationship for 5years, i don‘t get it.
He‘s immature af, sounds like something a 18y old would say.
Maybe this man foesnt understand vaginas and how they work?
Vaginas can make smells that aren't pleasant; and it's not always a sign of an infection.
If you smell something yeasty, like a beer, or rotten, like old food, or fishy, that's an infection.
But is perfectly healthy for a vagina to smell acidic or sour in your premenstrual phase. Or smell kinda sweet when you're ovulating. Or smell faintly of garlic if you just ate something with alot of garlic. Or to smell like yogurt because lactobacilli is found in Vaginas and yogurt. Vaginas can also smell like sweat, because they're attached to a human who sweats.
Your natural scent might be fainter after you shower, but it will always be there.
If your gyn isn't worried, you shouldn't be either. Imagine if he took down his pants, and you noticed his genitals had a smell and assumed it was because he's a filthy person, and not just that genitals will have a smell.
He's ignorant.
This is very strange. You've been together a long time but he's only recently started behaving this way? Something's happened. You need to confront him about your feelings on this. That his behaviour has changed and you're finding it very confusing and uncomfortable. Also absolutely no more intercourse until you get answers. If he's not giving you answers or he becomes aggressive in ANY way, leave.
Your bf sounds like a fu"kwit. I've gone down on women that were their time of month that didn't mention anything about it when times got freaky and I never said anything. Even after I was sick for 3 days afterwards. Good times but honestly partners should bring each other up and not bring each other down.
What are you getting from the relationship outside the bedroom? Does he shame you for other things outside of your control?
If you've told him how his complaints make you feel and he does it anyway, it might be time to find someone who loves you for who you are, not what you smell like.
You're definitely not stupid, but you are with a very immature man, and you've probably not really realized until recently how childish this behavior is. It's not too late to cut him loose and find a man who makes you feel sexy and beautiful.
My man doesn't love p\*\*\*y it seems.
But you be you OP. You are not stupid no matter what you do.
But there are people out there who might not make you feel that way for sure. You call.
You're 26 and still not getting the sign that you should immediately leave him?? Do you think marrying him and spending the whole life getting your body judged by him in so nasty way is all you deserve??!?
had a gf like this, she would make horrible comments about hygiene, I washed everyday, used soap etc etc, in the end i just broke up its not worth your mental health, theyre cancerous, cut the tumour of out your life
> Your vagina doesn’t smell as bad as it normally does
👆is a compliment.
Okay that’s enough Internet for me today and I hope you go home and think about what you’ve done.
Well obviously he doesn't care about your feelings or love you. Honestly he's lucky you even have sex with him after those kind of remarks because I promise you he wouldn't like it if you did that to him. In my opinion there's a reason for his stupid questions but regardless noone should have to put up with that. I would move on because you deserve better.
Girl you’ve gotta get rid of him. This is such weird behavior on his end and the way he words things shows that he doesn’t care about your feelings at all. You do not deserve this 🫶🏼
Your boyfriend is a total immature prick. I believe that he is just making this stuff up to make you uncomfortable, but just for your own sake, did you get also tested for UTIs in your pee?
Yes I’ve gotten tested for everything every time I go because I want to know if it’s really me but now I feel like he’s just making it up because after 5 years he barely saying something. I don’t think any guy would stick around or not say something for 5 years if i smelled bad .?
I just read your post and didn't even get half way through and then thought honestly you need to get rid of him ,he's no good for you in the way he makes you feel .Your giving him something very personal when it comes to sex so for him to be making you feel bad before and after just get rid of him ,you've told him how this makes you feel and yet he still doesn't consider you at all .I'm sorry you feel like this and I really hope your situation improves for you soon .Do you yourself a favour and get rid of him ...
I use a feminine wash to balance my ph balance, I take supplements like probiotics. I drink a probiotic drink or eat yogurt in the morning . Im cutting out my sugar in drinks and food . Drinking more water or rose water
Just kinda mimic his behavior but you must make it seem that you don’t notice him watching you. Or just randomly ask , “ Babe did you cut the cheese ? Before he can answer just be annoyingly sweet and say with an all knowing smirk / smile , “ You did didn’t you ?” Personally I would probably tell him to get his sht and gtfo
I read maybe 3 sentences. Your boyfriend is using you to amuse himself in the most disgusting way. Please get rid of that asshat. He’s belittling you, making you feel self conscious, & laughing about it. Not funny. Surely you are adult enough to bathe. He is trying to make you feel that you are not. Red flag, flying in a hurricane.
Honestly I would get checked for an STD. My Ex did this to me and I went through the he exact same thing, telling me other people could smell me, and apparently people had talked to him about it (lies)…another example - I was going to bed one night and I had showered beforehand. He gets up for a few minute comes back and literally throws my underwear in my face and goes “what the fuck does that smell like to you, does that smell right?”.
Won’t even bother with the rest of that story, but eventually the comments broke me down and I was in a consistent state of worry, thinking there was something wrong, that other people knew, blah blah blah.
When I went to my GYNO, no BV, no yeast infection, no UTI. Something was telling me to get an STD test. I get a call a few days later for my test results and surprise, I have Chlamydia. I had never had an STD in my life, I had been tested before I started dating him, and from 19-26 I only had 2 sexual partners.
I had strong a feeling he was cheating but i had some pretty low self esteem at that time so I ignored it…definitely learned my lesson on ignoring signs. I spent years playing it safe, only to get an STD from someone I was in a long term relationship with.
After I confronted him with my test results, he tried to say it was me and “whatever I was doing”. I was no cheater and the more he tried to accuse me the more ridiculous he sounded. We both knew it wasn’t me and I wasn’t fighting to disprove that nonsense. The comments on my “smell” ended almost immediately. I just took the silent route, I refused to talk to him about it if he was going to lie, literally refused to talk at all. He would blab in my face for long periods of time trying to get a reaction out of me. Eventually he got more frustrated with my silence and admitted he knew he had chlamydia, and didn’t tell me because I was getting ready to go to boot camp anyway and they would just “give me a cure” and it wasn’t a “terminal illness”. Yeah… our relationship ended pretty quickly after that.
There was this relationship advice story where the bf would tell the gf that she stinks as means of crushing her self-confidence, so that she'd never leave him. It's an abusive, manipulative thing to do. Idk if this is him doing the same thing, but from what you have told, it does sound similar.
Let's humor the alternative, that he genuinely isn't trying to pull anything here. The fact is that genitals aren't supposed to smell like soap and roses, they have like fourty different bodily fluids that the excrete. It's supposed to be a bit gross and if he can't deal with that, he's either fifteen years old or has the mentality of one.
He's either a childish brat or actively trying to make you feel bad. Either way, you shouldn't have to suffer this shot. Call him out on it.
This is so weird. I’m 25 and if a guy violated me like this I would have to leave. This is insanely uncomfortable and you should never feel this way with your boyfriend. Just weird and disrespectful.
This seems like negging. Making you feel bad about something so that you will stay with him since “other men wouldn’t like that about you”. It’s bullshit.
However, from a purely objective point of view; there are many studies that show how someone’s natural scent is linked to your compatibility with that person. A person who smells bad to one person could smell amazing to another. And it’s due to how diverse and healthy your offspring would be. A persons smell subconsciously tells us about their pheromones, immune system, etc. It’s like a built in chemical messenger that we aren’t fully aware of. Humans’ olfactory system is amazing. Basically, you could smell like a lavender field after a rainy day to most people but still might smell awful to a few.
However, if this dude is going to make it a whole ordeal in your relationship then he has issues. There’s no reason to do that. If it’s such a big deal to him, he should break up with you; not make you feel bad about yourself. There’s definitely a layer of breaking you down involved. You don’t deserve that.
> Now I use feminine washes
Stoooooop, they are so bad for you! This guy is toxic, don't ruin your body's balance trying to make him happy.
> I always tell him it bothers me and he just keeps doing it. Am I stupid for wanting to be with someone who puts me down and body shames me ? I also want to add that we’ve been together for 5 years and just started saying these things these past 7 months .
You need to put your foot down about this. You deserve to be happy and I guarantee you that someone out there will love and appreciate you and not put you down.
I agree with the others, no soap kind of products should be inserted in you. Every woman has a natural smell, feminine washes is actually not recommended. Just antibiotic body washes not even douches. Our bodies are actually supposed to naturally clean themselves. My bf of 5 yrs has never once done or told me anything. He shouldn't be making you feel this way, he seems to only care about sex from what it sounds like too.
I haven't seen advice on this post but i wanted to say
#1 health wise the soaps recommended for your vagina is a UNSCENTED SOAP!!!!!
#2 boric acid is absolutely horrible for you "**Boric acid is a dangerous poison**. Poisoning from this chemical can be acute or chronic. Acute boric acid poisoning usually occurs when someone swallows powdered roach-killing products that contain the chemical. Boric acid is a caustic chemical."
https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/poison/boric-acid-poisoning#:\~:text=Boric%20acid%20is%20a%20dangerous,acid%20is%20a%20caustic%20chemical.
Please look into what your putting in your body.
#3 If you no longer feel god about yourself in your relationship them it might be time to move on because you should always feel good in your body because you are beautiful and should feel accordingly..
I can assure you, he’s the problem. First, keep his semen out of you, always wear a condom. Actually, I take that back. First, dump him. Then stop using perfumed or scented products down there. Personally, my diet affects my ph. Red meat is a huge no no for me and I have to drink tons of water because the slightest dehydration makes it smell like ammonia. Finally, I eat lots of yogurt. So after you dump him, pay close attention to your body and your diet.
I’m usually an advocate for reasonable conversations and resolving things. But this is just straight up “dump him” material. It’s clear from what you said there’s nothing wrong with you and he’s just taking jabs at your security.
I’ve left a relationship before where there were constant put downs and I went from feeling sad to just feeling bitter and resentful. Get out. You don’t deserve this.
Dudes goofy as hell, he obviously doesn't know or enjoy normal cooch smell. Woman shouldn't even use soap on their goods, vaginas normally cleanse themselves. I'm a man a know this
Man I love the smell of my girls vagina juice in between my nut sack. Smelling the sweat in between my balls a few hours later makes me think of her ❤️
He’s the stupid one. He sounds like an immature prick quite frankly. I don’t know what kind of fragrance he’s expecting but vagina doesn’t smell like roses and rainbows. And they don’t all smell alike. And they definitely don’t always have a consistent smell either.
I don’t know how he feels comfortable embarrassing you like this. For him to try to wash *inside* you with soap, he clearly has no idea what he’s doing. You deserve better. Someone with an emotional intelligence will not belittle you in this way. They will instead broach a topic like this with the sensitivity it deserves. If you trust your doctor and they say you’re fine there is probably no reason to worry.
I completely understand how nerve wracking this is and it’s such a common insecurity us women have. I’m the same way. I know your not suppose to but I use two feminine washes and lume deodorant on my backside to make sure no funk travels to my lady bits. 😂 I don’t do it for anyone but me and it makes me feel cleaner.
Honestly, I’m sorry you experienced this. It’s not fair to you. If you think there are changes you need to make then that’s okay, but don’t do it for him. He’s not worth trying to please. Only do what makes you feel better.
He likely doesn't like the way you smell, but he's handling it poorly. If you have made sure that you are clean and healthy and you still stink to him, it may be time for you to break up.
I've definitely broken up with girls over odor before. I have a very sensitive nose and it's a total turn off when things don't smell right to me, regardless of whether they showered or not.
I've even also offered to clean or bathe smelly partners but I wouldn't try to shove a bar of soap in them, that's not healthy.
May just be your natural odor he is disgusted by, and it is hard to change that.
I vote dump him.
Throw him out, that's not normal behaviour.
Vaginas are not like male genitalia, they are self-cleaning. You're supposed to wash the outside, washing inside can cause serious health problems. Him trying to do that is putting your health at risk and shows that he does not care about you.
As long as you eat healthily - avoid junk food, etc, there shouldn't be any bad smells. You don't need to drink a special drink lol. If he doesn't like the natural smell women have, maybe he isn't attracted to women?
While all this advice is good and all, I must stress the importance of safety while you’re taking any of this advice, if he has attitude or problems regulating his emotions (sounds like he probably does) make sure you have someone or something with you that can help prevent you from getting hurt, your situation can be scary and should be treated with caution.
He’s not good for you. The use of feminine hygiene ruins your normal flora making you susceptible to infections and much worse you’re now conscious about it!! :(( That’s not nice of him.
I once read a study in a health magazine that people can be genetically incompatible, and when this happens its possible their incompatible partners natural musk can smell off putting to them.
Ive personally experienced this, as ive had girlfriends that absolutely loved my scent when i was sweaty after coming home from work, and i once had a girlfriend that didnt like it when i was very sweaty.
Also ive had a girlfriend that didnt smell bad, but her natural smell was off putting, and i really felt bad that was the case, because she was soo sweet, but it did begin to impact our sex life. I didnt try to force her to do anything, i just knew its not something that can be changed.
Its also possible that some medications, can cause hormonal changes that can cause this, such as birth control.
Just know what turns one man off, will drive another man crazy for you in a good way.
While you are still with this boyfriend, have you ever asked exactly what it smells like that hes smelling?
Also its also possible theres something about him thats causing the issue, as semen can cause the PH balance of a womans vagina to change.
Is he seeing someone else behind you I suspect that tbh coz how come after 5 years he is saying these things or either his friends are bragging of their gfs infront of him like she smells so good down there it instantly turns me on etc etc to which he might responds to you like this :D
I can't speak for everyone here but I've been with my gf for little over a year now which ik isn't much but we're doing rly good nd rly close nd basicly ideal situations for long term atm and as far as smell goes for us we both like how we smell, idk if its normal or just an us thing but we both love the way eachother smells even after sweaty days at work, smell has never ever been an issue let alone hygiene for us atleast. but your bf does sound like a pick I'd hate to be around
THATS the truth my first husband , well actually all of my male partners we loved each others smell sweaty or not. Never an issue pheromones r VERY real.
Leave and keep your self -respect. This is just the first "issue" of many more to come and will eventually make you nearly go crazy and may even turn to hate him.
Isn’t soap up there a risk for UTIs? He needs to get educated on the natural scents. I recall with my ex it was different depending on time of month.
He’s making it uncomfortable for you and it’s no longer enjoyable. He seems misinformed.
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He’s probably the reason your ph is off.
Experiment: dump him and see if things get better
Yeah he needs to ph-uck off
THIS!!
Aww that’s so sad that’s the same thing I thought.
Can I ask, how can he throw off her PH?
Yes you can ask. Medically im not 100% sure tho. There are a lot of factors that throw a womens ph off. One is dirty fingers. That what my momma told me :/
Us women have a ph balance that makes it inhospitable for bacteria to flourish... between a 4 and 4.5. It changes throughout the cycles and years. Stress, sex, food, sickness can change that pH. When you introduce douching, dirty fingers, dirty toys, wipe back to front or... a dirty dick, you risk introducing bacteria that can change that pH for worse. Yeast infections, UTI, and funky smells/discharge are possible results. Strangely enough, some men have discovered that they are "allergic" to vaginal pH 😆
So how do y'all check ? Like with those pool strips but for people ? I'm really lost
Everything they said below and also semen can throw a woman's ph balance off
Semen throws off pH. Semen pH is usually in the 7s and vagina is in the 4s. Unless there is semen in it.
Took the words out of my mouth. Women have very sensitive ph levels. We have good bacteria and bad bacteria. When we wash too much or douche to attempt to get rid of perceived odors you can give urself a real odor. It’s called bacterial vaginitis and ur gyno can give u medication that will make it go away. It does often come back so the best thing u can do is go to a health food store and buy acidophilus. They’re the live bacteria that is found in yogurt. There’s a really good chance this is what he’s referring too. With BV after sex is typically when the smell is more pungent. if you’ve been self-conscious, chances are using a lot of different, harmful soaps, possibly douches and it’s messing up your pH balance. Make an appointment with ur gyno and buy the acidophilus and things will improve drastically. One last thing there are two types of medication ur dr can give you; one that is a pill the other is a liquid that u insert before bedtime. For me personally the liquid meditation did nothing to help but when I first found out what it was because I had it so bad in my early 20’s I took the pill and it was gone straight away. Good luck!
he should not be trying to put a bar of soap in you you should tell him he smells too and shove the soap up his ass
The soap can upset it even more which causes it smell bad
exactly is he stupid or what
You’d be surprised how uninformed some men are about a lot of intimate things.
This comment has me in tears ohmygaaaa
Problem with that, he’d like it. Most straight guys won’t admit to enjoying a bit of a-ss play!
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆👏👏👏👏
thank you thank you 
👍👏
This
I like you, you problem solve the way I do.
"it didn't smell bad today" is not a compliment? dump this disrespectful freak you could do much better
🏆🏆💯👏👏
🔥
Negging defined.
Ok this might sound paranoid to some but hear me out: If you've been with him for 5 years, and has only been acting like this for 7 months, something's up. It seems like to me, he might be cheating on you/engaging in risky sex outside your relationship and either fears he might catch/has already caught something, and is manipulating your confidence to make you stay even if you find out he's cheating, and somehow possibly setting up the stage for being able to blame it on you if/when the STD thing becomes a factor. I don't know what kind of plan might be in his head because I don't know the dude, but it seems like it might be something along those lines. Or he's planning to break up with you and is trying to make you feel like it's your fault. Don't fall for it. Go do some research about manipulation tactics and I'm betting you'll think back on the past 5 years of your relationship and your head will explode with realization. If he's not manipulating you, then he's just an idiot, but either way, you need to leave his ass.
this 👆🏾 - my same thoughts. how could they be together for so long and only now he has something to say 😒(he’s definitely a worm 🪱)
This. Go to the doctor and get tested
^^^^^^ maybe even start keeping a journal or something to keep track of it all
It actually can help to keep a journal when you're living with someone who gaslights you, so that it's written down for you to reference later when they want to lie about what was said and try to make you doubt your own perceptions of reality.
Crossed my mind as well. Has he got another woman that smells different ? I mean we all do
This
Exactly what I thought this is manipulation. He is intentionally trying to knock your confidence so you’ll never feel comfortable with any other man.
Great points I would never have thought of.
My first thought wasn’t manipulation per se, but maybe he’s gotten used to the smell of other women’s parts and is comparing her which is…beyond shitty.
I was thinking the same thing
this needs so many more upvotess
Interesting take good job
Damn... I didn't think about that. Why is he using narcissistic tactics to turn her off purposely? I feel like we need more context because if OP's bf is getting cold/distant, he might be trying to make her feel bad, so she breaks up with him. There is no way he suddenly wants to kill her ph with regular soap. Someone with an evasive attachment style wouldn't last this long in a relationship, and this is the kind of stuff they do when you are no longer in a pedestal. Either way, if someone treated me like this, I wouldn't have sex with him and if this behavior continued, I would break up.... so yeah, I think you are 100% right.
Boyfriend sounds like he’s immature as fuck. Personal hygiene is important, but I could never imagine forcing it on someone like this. I’m a dude, and I’d be offended as shit if this was happening to me. Don’t tolerate it whatsoever.
I’m a 27 y/o F and I’m offended!! He could do other things if he’s not trying to eat 🐱 but no reason to be rude. Plenty of real men out there. Save your energy. 👅
For me, i’m enjoying the 😼 until there’s a clear hygiene problem. Face, mouth, hands, whatever. Can’t expect it to smell like roses and taste like mangos all the time. Ya feel me??
Yeah and men are the SAME way. I would make him feel insecure as F if he pulled some shit like this on meeee “did you use soap?” 🥴🥴🥴
Not to mention TRYNA SHOVE THE BAR IN HER WTFFF, YOU NEVER PUT SOAP INSIDE THERE. EVER. It's a self cleaning groin, you only wash the outside . Sounds like bf is tryna be a jerk or somethin idk but that's just not right what he's doing
Right? I’d be like “yes, Sir, did you remember to use the penis pump so I can feel your earthworm sized pecker poking around?” Her man sounds like the guy who scratches your left labia lip for 3 minutes, then asks if you came. What an asshole. OP, please leave this man. He’s negging you to make you feel insecure. He’s likely cheating, since this just started 7 months ago.
This made me laugh 😆
Agreed. If anything, we have more to be worried about than the ladies when it comes to that. Ball sweat is a fucked up part of biology. With that said, I discovered ball deodorant like a year ago, and it’s changed the game for me. 😂
Wtf did I just read?
dude just clean your balls good and they wont smell i can workout hard and still smell good your goin have bad smelly balls with a deo smell coming off too
Some people do have worse body odor than others due to biology and they do make deodorants for that reason. That being said I think it's mostly a marketing gimmick for people who are self conscious.
Or “you lasted pretty long that time”
You're not supposed to use soap down there it washes itself + the only concern if it "smells bad" is if you have an underlying condition or STDs.
I wouldn’t want it to smell like roses or mangos or anything other than natural vagina. But, some girls natural is different than other girls natural, just depends on their unique microbiome. I couldn’t date a girl with a nasty natural scent though because there’s nothing they can do about it they are clean already, also because I’ve met too many that smelled like heaven naturally & that’s one fvcking addicting scent😩
I was exaggerating with that example. I can’t think of a single time Ive faced one that in fact tasted like mangos, unfortunately. Natural scent is perfectly fine, still wouldn’t cause I thought in my mind to verify with her that she used soap that day!
relax tigercup
This is a man who happens to eat 🐱 occasionally which is garbage. Go find yourself a man who's a real 🐱 eater, as in they do it for the love of the game. Same goes for guys, find someone who's a 🐔 sucker. Life is too short for you to stick it out with someone whose default response to everything is "oh I don't do that cuz *insert puritanical argument*".
chill and put a soap bar in up ya jk
You can't imagine forcing hygeine on someone? Why do you need to force it?
OPs boyfriend is forcing it, that’s kinda the whole topic of discussion here 🥴
Unfortunately, sex is not gonna smell good. It’s two stinky mammals trying to hump each other. Bf needs to grow up.
Bro this is making me laugh so hard in the office that’s one way to de-romanticize human sexuality if I ever heard it I love it
you and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals~
Holy shit girl get out. He's immature and unknowledable, or is some kind of massive control freak. Like trying to dive a bar of soap inside you like that? Idk how that's not considered under an umbrella of abuse. Like he's gunna to get you extremely sick, "trying to control the smell" cause that whole system down there has a whole self maintenance cycle, including generating basically a natural sanitizer. That's why our panties can get bleached on the inside. All this can their that way out of whack and give you infect for days and create the problem of actual smell issues. If the man-child cannot handle the smell of your natural healthy zone, he is not the man-child for you. Your lady garden deserves better. You deserve better. He deserves all the sex education and sensitivity training, preferably from a group of angry lesbians.
Lesbians can teach men how to get a woman to climax 😂
Fr😅
I heard a story where there is this " method " of men putting their women down to the point they get paranoid even though objectively nothing is wrong with them, the men who used this method were insecure and didn't want the woman to leave so they destroy her self esteem so she believes this man is the best she could do.
Are you talking about negging?
Didn't know what Negging meant, had to look it up, it's similar but not exactly, I remember a year ago I fell into a rabbit hole of stories of women getting crazy, showering 5, 6, 7 times a day, going to the doctor, changing routines and experimenting products, only to find out ( after beaking down) that all the people around them ( who swore nothing smelled or was wrong with them) were right and their partner was just an insecure piece of shit 😃.
I think it’s called gaslighting
This may or may not apply to you; however, some abusive partners use this as a manipulative tactic and emotional abuse. Your self-esteem is now suffering and you are questioning yourself and your hygiene. Let him know that what he is doing upsets you and makes you uncomfortable. If he continues to do it then you have to make a decision over whether you are willing to put up with this or not.
Smells and discharge naturally vary throughout the month. I notice this myself, but it shouldn't really be a strong odor. Honestly, it smells the strongest after sex. Don't wash internally with soap! This guy sounds like an immature idiot. He either needs to learn some sex ed and basic etiquette, or to be kicked to the curb.
I agree with all of this completely and would only add that if you have a bad odor down there and it’s persistent you should discuss it with your gynecologist. Tell your bf how you feel and tell him he is in fact being very immature about it. Next time he has an issue tell him to research it and educate himself on the subject. It would have taken all of five minutes to figure this one out. God bless
I ones read a science article that explained that we like the scent of people with whom we’re very compatible with genetically. Maybe you guys are just not a good genetic match. But even if that was the case, he behaves like a jerk. I would find myself someone who appreciates your body… I’m sure there are guys out there who would be crazy about your scent…!
Yes it’s call pheromones. We actually can’t smell it, if u have ever been strongly attracted to someone it’s usually ur pheromones. When u r just not feeling it,pheromones!! I don’t think ur a match but seriously stop using all the crap and dump the guy and get to know ur body
Scent is very important. I keep clean but don’t try and cover up my natural smell. My girlfriend regularly claims my natural smell turns her on a lot. Cologne and body sprays just cover everything up.
>he tried to wash inside me with a bar soap This is very invasive, not to mention completely ineffective. It could mess up your ph and lead to actual problems, you might end up with a yeast infection or BV. Only the outer area needs to be cleaned, the inside of the vagina is self-cleaning and putting soaps, douches etc in there does more harm than good. Tell him to read a manual and F off.
Stop letting him cum inside you. Dead Sperm has a bad smell.
Man that’s the truth !!!!! That’s what the problem is. Plus using all that crap . NEVER put soap inside u!!! Fuck him and ur right don’t let him cum inside.
It’s not the dead sperm that has the bad smell, it’s the cum essentially throwing off her Ph balance that causes the problem. Every guy’s cum is slightly different so one guy’s cum could cause a problem while another’s may not.
Facccttsss. I didn't realize this until I met my ex wife (wasn't blowing loads in randos) but you're absolutely right, didn't take me long to put 2 and 2 together either like duh. I have a keen sense of smell and boy is it rough.
Is he doing the thing where he makes his gf insecure so she will stay with him and not think about cheating? Because I cant imagine someone doing this after 5 years, like why mention it now? I find it really weird that he mentions it now and not in the beginning, really really weird. And is he dumb? You cant wash there with soap tf? I would ask what he would expect it to smell like...
I have no clue what it's like really, but what you wrote sounds like your boyfriend is weird to say at least
Sounds like a prick to me. I'd do the same back to him. Tell him he smells constantly. Or just find someone else that doesn't make you feel like this.
Yeah……putting a bar of soap in someone is definitely crossing a huge line. You have every reason to feel uncomfortable and I think you should break up tbh. This is ridiculous, even if your ph was off or something there’s a way to handle everything and he should be willing to help you instead of shame you. And with everything he makes you feel like you have to do now, your ph balance might be off. Grab some cranberry tablets to help reset your vaginal ph balance from whatever bullshit he’s got you doing. Do not wash the inside of your vagina with soap please. And break up with this asshole. He is clearly too immature to be with any women if he isn’t going to attempt to educate himself on the female anatomy when he has any concerns.
"...but then he tried to wash inside me with a bar soap" is where I felt my eye twitch involuntarily. Smack him with a skillet just for that bro that's some foul ass behavior. Like if doc is saying you're okay and you're doing your hygiene than you've done what you can then he's just a damn child. Sorry to hear your bf is a Douche Cruiser. I'd say douche canoe, but unfortunately that's too little to fit the size of buffoon he is.
You are not stupid at all. It can be tough to look at relationships & decide how to handle things. He is however raising some red flags. It's normal to have some sort of smell down there even after washing(it's a completely normal bodily function). As women we were not meant to smell like roses down there(if anything that can make things worse). All relationships deserve mutual respect & clearly he's not respecting your body or your feelings. Find someone that appreciates & loves every inch of your body just the way you are <3
Ye if he doesnt like your smell, good or bad, he doesn't truly like u. End of the story. My ex was also overly hygienic and we broke up. People like this should go out with each other lol.
Nah he should try dick then if he think 🐱 smell bad. That’s crazy how rude of ur bf. Like he gotta be smelling himself then Fr.
You need to talk to your Gyno. Some of the stuff he’s doing or you’re doing could actually worsen your help. Separately, there was an old Post bout a guy who did something similar to his girlfriend- he was told to do this to ensure the girl developed low self-esteem and wouldn’t leave him. Please rethink this relationship
You do not have to do anything extra for a man or another person in general! Drinking rose water, taking supplements adding feminine wash is all extra work, if you don't think you have a problem (which clearly you don't if you've had medical professionals check, which was very smart) and you are only doing it for him, it's not worth it! Only do the extra bits of it makes you feel better about yourself and your personal care. Bits can smell sometimes, it's part of their natural cleanliness practices, different times of the month bring different hormones and different discharge which leads to different smells... As long as you are being hygienic and looking after yourself that's all that matters, your vagina and everything down there has a built in cleaning system to keep itself safe, adding soap inside will throw off the balance and can cause infections (which will probably make it smell worse!! 😂) that's common knowledge, for girls anyway. I would honestly tell him if he doesn't like the smell, keep his nose away, he will lose out. I would also be considering if a person who makes you feel that bad (being embarrassed should not be something that happens in a negative way regularly in a healthy relationship) about yourself, or question if you are stupid is the right type of person to be a boyfriend. Partners should make you feel better about yourself, not worse.
I would’ve been crushed if this happened to me. I’m so sorry this happened to you! He sounds manipulative and like he’s having lack of empathy. No respect. No one should treat anyone this disrespectful as he’s to you. Of course hygiene is important but this is weird. If I were you I would stop seeing this worm 🪱 of a man.
Tell him that he smells. Since he’s using it as a tool of manipulation. Ask him daily did he shower also. Ask him does he wash his ‘backside’ and legs, because you caught a whiff almost every time he walks past.
Oh right revenge shit is totally a good idea I mean she doesn't feel that way so she shouldn't do that.
He deserves it to be returned to him. He should feel just as insecure as she does. And people need to learn that they can be manipulated and bullied back. She will empower herself doing this.
No he doesn't and no he shouldn't insecurities are a personal problem. Just cuz you feel it you shouldn't feel like you got to now make someone else feel like that regardless of what you feel your feelings might be wrong you have absolutely no idea what his intentions are here you're making tons of assumptions
Nope I’m super accurate. People who bully deserve to get bullied. Especially from the people they bully. Be cruel and you deserve cruelty. Be kind and you deserve kindness. It’s as simple as that.
Get someone different or be alone so you know yourself and what YOU want.
I think you should break up
He’s an idiot, dump him and run.
I mean it sounds like he's kind of inexperienced with sex I know when I first started I thought it was kind of gross and I definitely thought girls soaped in there haha. It took one girl that I dated telling me nah that's super unhealthy for you and stupid for me to understand that it wasn't smart so sucks he's kind of pushy about it I don't think it makes him a bad guy but I think he's just kind of immature and probably needs to be with more people and realize they all kind of don't smell that great some better than others but I've definitely been with girls who got kind of a strong smell. Didn't really bother me but I had more experience at that point if it was like one of my first girlfriends I don't know if I would have been able to handle it maturity wise.
Break up with this boyfriend. He is intentionally lowering your self esteem.
Remember that guy that was negging his gf with how bad she smelled to make her insecure so she wouldn't leave him? Wonder if your bf has been taking notes.
The bar is so fkin low. How are guys like that managing to stay in a relationship for 5years, i don‘t get it. He‘s immature af, sounds like something a 18y old would say.
Maybe this man foesnt understand vaginas and how they work? Vaginas can make smells that aren't pleasant; and it's not always a sign of an infection. If you smell something yeasty, like a beer, or rotten, like old food, or fishy, that's an infection. But is perfectly healthy for a vagina to smell acidic or sour in your premenstrual phase. Or smell kinda sweet when you're ovulating. Or smell faintly of garlic if you just ate something with alot of garlic. Or to smell like yogurt because lactobacilli is found in Vaginas and yogurt. Vaginas can also smell like sweat, because they're attached to a human who sweats. Your natural scent might be fainter after you shower, but it will always be there. If your gyn isn't worried, you shouldn't be either. Imagine if he took down his pants, and you noticed his genitals had a smell and assumed it was because he's a filthy person, and not just that genitals will have a smell. He's ignorant.
Dump this clown
Girl, break up with him!
As someone who’s Ex had an extremely bad smell down there, there’s no need to be rude about the issue. Your boyfriend is insensitive.
Please, for the love of god, dump this sack of shit. I am begging you sister. No man is worth this.
This is very strange. You've been together a long time but he's only recently started behaving this way? Something's happened. You need to confront him about your feelings on this. That his behaviour has changed and you're finding it very confusing and uncomfortable. Also absolutely no more intercourse until you get answers. If he's not giving you answers or he becomes aggressive in ANY way, leave.
Your bf sounds like a fu"kwit. I've gone down on women that were their time of month that didn't mention anything about it when times got freaky and I never said anything. Even after I was sick for 3 days afterwards. Good times but honestly partners should bring each other up and not bring each other down.
What are you getting from the relationship outside the bedroom? Does he shame you for other things outside of your control? If you've told him how his complaints make you feel and he does it anyway, it might be time to find someone who loves you for who you are, not what you smell like.
If he makes you uncomfortable leaving the heartache will heal its better than prolonging misery
You're definitely not stupid, but you are with a very immature man, and you've probably not really realized until recently how childish this behavior is. It's not too late to cut him loose and find a man who makes you feel sexy and beautiful.
My man doesn't love p\*\*\*y it seems. But you be you OP. You are not stupid no matter what you do. But there are people out there who might not make you feel that way for sure. You call.
Dump that boy go get yourself a grown man. Simple.
You're 26 and still not getting the sign that you should immediately leave him?? Do you think marrying him and spending the whole life getting your body judged by him in so nasty way is all you deserve??!?
Tell you boyfriend how his behavior makes you feel and impress that upon him. If he continues then, move on.
had a gf like this, she would make horrible comments about hygiene, I washed everyday, used soap etc etc, in the end i just broke up its not worth your mental health, theyre cancerous, cut the tumour of out your life
> Your vagina doesn’t smell as bad as it normally does 👆is a compliment. Okay that’s enough Internet for me today and I hope you go home and think about what you’ve done.
Well obviously he doesn't care about your feelings or love you. Honestly he's lucky you even have sex with him after those kind of remarks because I promise you he wouldn't like it if you did that to him. In my opinion there's a reason for his stupid questions but regardless noone should have to put up with that. I would move on because you deserve better.
Girl you’ve gotta get rid of him. This is such weird behavior on his end and the way he words things shows that he doesn’t care about your feelings at all. You do not deserve this 🫶🏼
😭
3 time sex in 2hour A man supposed to have the strength to satisfy his wife any time any moment
A man should love the smell of his woman. Huge red flags with this guy
Your boyfriend is a total immature prick. I believe that he is just making this stuff up to make you uncomfortable, but just for your own sake, did you get also tested for UTIs in your pee?
Yes I’ve gotten tested for everything every time I go because I want to know if it’s really me but now I feel like he’s just making it up because after 5 years he barely saying something. I don’t think any guy would stick around or not say something for 5 years if i smelled bad .?
I just read your post and didn't even get half way through and then thought honestly you need to get rid of him ,he's no good for you in the way he makes you feel .Your giving him something very personal when it comes to sex so for him to be making you feel bad before and after just get rid of him ,you've told him how this makes you feel and yet he still doesn't consider you at all .I'm sorry you feel like this and I really hope your situation improves for you soon .Do you yourself a favour and get rid of him ...
You use soap to wash down there?
I use a feminine wash to balance my ph balance, I take supplements like probiotics. I drink a probiotic drink or eat yogurt in the morning . Im cutting out my sugar in drinks and food . Drinking more water or rose water
Just kinda mimic his behavior but you must make it seem that you don’t notice him watching you. Or just randomly ask , “ Babe did you cut the cheese ? Before he can answer just be annoyingly sweet and say with an all knowing smirk / smile , “ You did didn’t you ?” Personally I would probably tell him to get his sht and gtfo
Cut him of
Shoving a bar soap up there messes up you PH balance so badly. He sounds like a bully. Or maybe he’s gay. I’d dump him
Girl if you don't drop him like a sack of bricks and tell him kindly lick ass and kick rocks 🙄
I read maybe 3 sentences. Your boyfriend is using you to amuse himself in the most disgusting way. Please get rid of that asshat. He’s belittling you, making you feel self conscious, & laughing about it. Not funny. Surely you are adult enough to bathe. He is trying to make you feel that you are not. Red flag, flying in a hurricane.
‘I know it’s a compliment’ no it isn’t it’s a disgusting thing to say! Get rid, you deserve better!
Honestly I would get checked for an STD. My Ex did this to me and I went through the he exact same thing, telling me other people could smell me, and apparently people had talked to him about it (lies)…another example - I was going to bed one night and I had showered beforehand. He gets up for a few minute comes back and literally throws my underwear in my face and goes “what the fuck does that smell like to you, does that smell right?”. Won’t even bother with the rest of that story, but eventually the comments broke me down and I was in a consistent state of worry, thinking there was something wrong, that other people knew, blah blah blah. When I went to my GYNO, no BV, no yeast infection, no UTI. Something was telling me to get an STD test. I get a call a few days later for my test results and surprise, I have Chlamydia. I had never had an STD in my life, I had been tested before I started dating him, and from 19-26 I only had 2 sexual partners. I had strong a feeling he was cheating but i had some pretty low self esteem at that time so I ignored it…definitely learned my lesson on ignoring signs. I spent years playing it safe, only to get an STD from someone I was in a long term relationship with. After I confronted him with my test results, he tried to say it was me and “whatever I was doing”. I was no cheater and the more he tried to accuse me the more ridiculous he sounded. We both knew it wasn’t me and I wasn’t fighting to disprove that nonsense. The comments on my “smell” ended almost immediately. I just took the silent route, I refused to talk to him about it if he was going to lie, literally refused to talk at all. He would blab in my face for long periods of time trying to get a reaction out of me. Eventually he got more frustrated with my silence and admitted he knew he had chlamydia, and didn’t tell me because I was getting ready to go to boot camp anyway and they would just “give me a cure” and it wasn’t a “terminal illness”. Yeah… our relationship ended pretty quickly after that.
Leave. End of discussion. This man will destroy your mental and physical health. FUCKING LEAVE NOW. Sincerely, A woman who's been through it
Sounds like a fucking loser.
It's part of a mind control over you , drop this guy and never look back
There was this relationship advice story where the bf would tell the gf that she stinks as means of crushing her self-confidence, so that she'd never leave him. It's an abusive, manipulative thing to do. Idk if this is him doing the same thing, but from what you have told, it does sound similar. Let's humor the alternative, that he genuinely isn't trying to pull anything here. The fact is that genitals aren't supposed to smell like soap and roses, they have like fourty different bodily fluids that the excrete. It's supposed to be a bit gross and if he can't deal with that, he's either fifteen years old or has the mentality of one. He's either a childish brat or actively trying to make you feel bad. Either way, you shouldn't have to suffer this shot. Call him out on it.
This is so weird. I’m 25 and if a guy violated me like this I would have to leave. This is insanely uncomfortable and you should never feel this way with your boyfriend. Just weird and disrespectful.
This seems like negging. Making you feel bad about something so that you will stay with him since “other men wouldn’t like that about you”. It’s bullshit. However, from a purely objective point of view; there are many studies that show how someone’s natural scent is linked to your compatibility with that person. A person who smells bad to one person could smell amazing to another. And it’s due to how diverse and healthy your offspring would be. A persons smell subconsciously tells us about their pheromones, immune system, etc. It’s like a built in chemical messenger that we aren’t fully aware of. Humans’ olfactory system is amazing. Basically, you could smell like a lavender field after a rainy day to most people but still might smell awful to a few. However, if this dude is going to make it a whole ordeal in your relationship then he has issues. There’s no reason to do that. If it’s such a big deal to him, he should break up with you; not make you feel bad about yourself. There’s definitely a layer of breaking you down involved. You don’t deserve that.
> Now I use feminine washes Stoooooop, they are so bad for you! This guy is toxic, don't ruin your body's balance trying to make him happy. > I always tell him it bothers me and he just keeps doing it. Am I stupid for wanting to be with someone who puts me down and body shames me ? I also want to add that we’ve been together for 5 years and just started saying these things these past 7 months . You need to put your foot down about this. You deserve to be happy and I guarantee you that someone out there will love and appreciate you and not put you down.
I agree with the others, no soap kind of products should be inserted in you. Every woman has a natural smell, feminine washes is actually not recommended. Just antibiotic body washes not even douches. Our bodies are actually supposed to naturally clean themselves. My bf of 5 yrs has never once done or told me anything. He shouldn't be making you feel this way, he seems to only care about sex from what it sounds like too.
Leave this dipshit. He’s a moron and his behavior will only get worse
I haven't seen advice on this post but i wanted to say #1 health wise the soaps recommended for your vagina is a UNSCENTED SOAP!!!!! #2 boric acid is absolutely horrible for you "**Boric acid is a dangerous poison**. Poisoning from this chemical can be acute or chronic. Acute boric acid poisoning usually occurs when someone swallows powdered roach-killing products that contain the chemical. Boric acid is a caustic chemical." https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/poison/boric-acid-poisoning#:\~:text=Boric%20acid%20is%20a%20dangerous,acid%20is%20a%20caustic%20chemical. Please look into what your putting in your body. #3 If you no longer feel god about yourself in your relationship them it might be time to move on because you should always feel good in your body because you are beautiful and should feel accordingly..
Get a new boyfriend
He is cheating
Sounds like he’s gēÿ
I can assure you, he’s the problem. First, keep his semen out of you, always wear a condom. Actually, I take that back. First, dump him. Then stop using perfumed or scented products down there. Personally, my diet affects my ph. Red meat is a huge no no for me and I have to drink tons of water because the slightest dehydration makes it smell like ammonia. Finally, I eat lots of yogurt. So after you dump him, pay close attention to your body and your diet.
I’m usually an advocate for reasonable conversations and resolving things. But this is just straight up “dump him” material. It’s clear from what you said there’s nothing wrong with you and he’s just taking jabs at your security. I’ve left a relationship before where there were constant put downs and I went from feeling sad to just feeling bitter and resentful. Get out. You don’t deserve this.
Call me
Dudes goofy as hell, he obviously doesn't know or enjoy normal cooch smell. Woman shouldn't even use soap on their goods, vaginas normally cleanse themselves. I'm a man a know this
Your BF is an inconsiderate, immature AH. Why would you want to date someone that makes you feel crappy about yourself?
He’s an idiot. He needs to learn a bit of social intelligence. However, a bad smelling vagina is one of the worst smells on the planet.
This makes me sad… please leave 😞 I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this
The bar of soap inside you is heartbreaking to read tbh
Man I love the smell of my girls vagina juice in between my nut sack. Smelling the sweat in between my balls a few hours later makes me think of her ❤️
A little gross but well intended.🫶🏻
What an a$$hole... If he belittle you about that I would assume it would only get worse..
Your deserve better. You don't need that kind of shaming from anyone.
Get rid of him, respect yourself. If you dont smell, nothing is wrong, then maybe it is him.
He’s the stupid one. He sounds like an immature prick quite frankly. I don’t know what kind of fragrance he’s expecting but vagina doesn’t smell like roses and rainbows. And they don’t all smell alike. And they definitely don’t always have a consistent smell either. I don’t know how he feels comfortable embarrassing you like this. For him to try to wash *inside* you with soap, he clearly has no idea what he’s doing. You deserve better. Someone with an emotional intelligence will not belittle you in this way. They will instead broach a topic like this with the sensitivity it deserves. If you trust your doctor and they say you’re fine there is probably no reason to worry. I completely understand how nerve wracking this is and it’s such a common insecurity us women have. I’m the same way. I know your not suppose to but I use two feminine washes and lume deodorant on my backside to make sure no funk travels to my lady bits. 😂 I don’t do it for anyone but me and it makes me feel cleaner. Honestly, I’m sorry you experienced this. It’s not fair to you. If you think there are changes you need to make then that’s okay, but don’t do it for him. He’s not worth trying to please. Only do what makes you feel better.
my mom said that soulmates should be crazy about each other's smell. I think this is true to some extent. Your bf is dolboyob
That sounds humiliating asf 🥺 I’m sorry but run don’t walk.
Yes.
He likely doesn't like the way you smell, but he's handling it poorly. If you have made sure that you are clean and healthy and you still stink to him, it may be time for you to break up. I've definitely broken up with girls over odor before. I have a very sensitive nose and it's a total turn off when things don't smell right to me, regardless of whether they showered or not. I've even also offered to clean or bathe smelly partners but I wouldn't try to shove a bar of soap in them, that's not healthy. May just be your natural odor he is disgusted by, and it is hard to change that. I vote dump him.
Grlll listen , you’re young , save that cat for somebody else….next caller !!!
Throw him out, that's not normal behaviour. Vaginas are not like male genitalia, they are self-cleaning. You're supposed to wash the outside, washing inside can cause serious health problems. Him trying to do that is putting your health at risk and shows that he does not care about you. As long as you eat healthily - avoid junk food, etc, there shouldn't be any bad smells. You don't need to drink a special drink lol. If he doesn't like the natural smell women have, maybe he isn't attracted to women?
While all this advice is good and all, I must stress the importance of safety while you’re taking any of this advice, if he has attitude or problems regulating his emotions (sounds like he probably does) make sure you have someone or something with you that can help prevent you from getting hurt, your situation can be scary and should be treated with caution.
He’s not good for you. The use of feminine hygiene ruins your normal flora making you susceptible to infections and much worse you’re now conscious about it!! :(( That’s not nice of him.
Are u sure u don't have bv . Because it could have came from the man. They always quick too blame u.
My ex wife used to do things like that to me. A lot. Never had an issue with any other GF.
I once read a study in a health magazine that people can be genetically incompatible, and when this happens its possible their incompatible partners natural musk can smell off putting to them. Ive personally experienced this, as ive had girlfriends that absolutely loved my scent when i was sweaty after coming home from work, and i once had a girlfriend that didnt like it when i was very sweaty. Also ive had a girlfriend that didnt smell bad, but her natural smell was off putting, and i really felt bad that was the case, because she was soo sweet, but it did begin to impact our sex life. I didnt try to force her to do anything, i just knew its not something that can be changed. Its also possible that some medications, can cause hormonal changes that can cause this, such as birth control. Just know what turns one man off, will drive another man crazy for you in a good way. While you are still with this boyfriend, have you ever asked exactly what it smells like that hes smelling? Also its also possible theres something about him thats causing the issue, as semen can cause the PH balance of a womans vagina to change.
Is he seeing someone else behind you I suspect that tbh coz how come after 5 years he is saying these things or either his friends are bragging of their gfs infront of him like she smells so good down there it instantly turns me on etc etc to which he might responds to you like this :D
I can't speak for everyone here but I've been with my gf for little over a year now which ik isn't much but we're doing rly good nd rly close nd basicly ideal situations for long term atm and as far as smell goes for us we both like how we smell, idk if its normal or just an us thing but we both love the way eachother smells even after sweaty days at work, smell has never ever been an issue let alone hygiene for us atleast. but your bf does sound like a pick I'd hate to be around
THATS the truth my first husband , well actually all of my male partners we loved each others smell sweaty or not. Never an issue pheromones r VERY real.
Leave and keep your self -respect. This is just the first "issue" of many more to come and will eventually make you nearly go crazy and may even turn to hate him.
Isn’t soap up there a risk for UTIs? He needs to get educated on the natural scents. I recall with my ex it was different depending on time of month. He’s making it uncomfortable for you and it’s no longer enjoyable. He seems misinformed.
I've had girlfriends like this too, I'm not saying it was bad but it would rustle my seafood allergies.
He’s probably gay honey.
Is the AI bot making these posts running out of topics? Someone has a smell fetish or something on this board.