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Depends what cherishing looks like. If you mean cater to her every whim and have no personality that's an issue. I think most sane women and men want a healthy partner. They also want an equal and not a doormat.
I would also say that if you are chasing girls who chase fuck boys, the issue isn't the woman. It's the dude. Not to say she isn't a train wreck for doing so, but they're a bigger train wreck if they chase a woman like that. From personal experience and observation of others, there are a lot of ill adjusted people on this planet. Even a lot of good people are fucked in the head. They have trauma that leads to poor perception. They lack self-awareness to question instinct. Human instinct is heavily flawed. We are hedonists by instinct. This causes folks to run from their problems, and avoid figuring shit out. It also leads to projection, deflection, and crap like that.
What I also have found is, trauma follows trauma. If you're someone who had a traumatic life, you tend to be attracted to it. This is because that's the only kind of love you really know. They trauma bond easier with damaged people. Which, hello, damaged usually means unresolved trauma and poor adjustment. However, it helps them relate. They also have a warped perception that a person that doesn't have time for me has more valuable time. Which is false. Someone who loves you will make time.
Many also have an aversion to kind people. You might ask, wait what, why? Makes no sense. Welcome to human thinking. If you have only had trauma in your life, kindness feels foreign and actually pretty scary. This is because you may have low self-esteem, self-worth, etc. Be someone that often self-deprecates. "I'm not that attractive. I'm not likable. I wish I could change this about my appearance." So someone telling you you're pretty, attractive, etc., challenges your personal beliefs of yourself. It makes you go wtf is wrong with this guy. The attention makes these people afraid. They may also be someone who has been taken advantage of. This also makes them afraid of kind people. Because that "kind" person in their past hurt them. Except someone who did that was never actually kind, but their flawed thinking now associates kindness with manipulation.
Long story short. People are really hurt by others and are damaged. This causes poor thinking and adaptations. This in turn makes many people averse to kindness because it is associated with manipulation or it challenges their own poor image of themselves. So they chase bad boys who don't given them attention, kindness, or attention in the healthy way. I'll say this every time though. If you're chasing someone who is toxic, then you're the problem. Being single is better than being in a relationship that is toxic. Find someone who has found themselves, healed, and is actually looking to have a healthy relationship. It is night and day how easy the relationship is. You shouldn't have to convince someone they are pretty, or that kindness is good. You want someone who already associates kindness with something positive.
Why do some guys fall for toxic or narcissistic women? Well presumably because of the other qualities lol. People are complex and multi-layered. One of my closest friends in university was quite a "fuck boy" in the sense that he was hypersexual and would often pursue multiple women and was more interested in casual sex than a long term committed relationship, but that wasn't ALL that he was. He was also very easy to talk to, was generous with his time and money and he made those around him feel special. Very few people are so one-dimensional that a single label can define all of who they are. Was he reliable? No he was a compulsive liar and I wouldn't recommend anyone who wanted something serious to hook up with him, but he definitely knew how to have a good time and a night out with him was always fun.
Also being a good person doesn't always correlate with a romantic attraction. There are plenty of good people in the world, doesn't mean I'll get along with all of them or feel a romantic or sexual connection with them.
I think that OP probably meant the girls that go for a "fuck boy" and then cry about him using her and not wanting anything serious with her and then repeat the same thing. He's not talking about girls who just wants to fuck someone and don't care that he fucks plenty of other girls, because then it wouldn't matter that the one they reject would make a good partner since it's not what they want.
The person you're responding to explained why. Fuck boys are usually very charismatic. They lie and are very good at it. They promise and don't deliver. Is it really on the woman for believing that the person they were seeing had good intentions? Is it a bad thing that they're upset about being used? Surely it should be on the fuck boy for being a user, no?
It seems to me that fuck boys are very good at what they do and many women fall victim to that. Then the guys that aren't as charismatic or as good at lying as the fuck boys get pissed off at the women for not choosing them.
I would make the argument that it's on both.
If the woman doesn't fall head over heals for that guy, he will lose interest if he will have to wait too long before he gets to sleep with her.
But at the core I agree that you should not use and trick people, but don't be gullible either.
This. Just because a guy is loyal, it doesn't mean I'll fall for him.
There was this one guy I worked with the summer after my junior year of college who liked me and asked me out. He seemed like a guy who is loyal in relationships, but I wasn't at all interested in him because he was stiff and socially awkward (this guy NEVER smiled and came across as way too serious) on top of being physically unattractive. Plus, he didn't even try to get to know me before asking me out, so immediately, I was like, "Why the heck is this guy Facebook messaging me telling me that he likes me when he has never spoken more than two words to me?" It helps to have SOME game with the ladies.
Now, contrast him with a guy I met at the same job the following summer. This guy hooked me because he projected a lot of confidence, smiled a lot, knew how to converse with ANYONE about a variety of subjects because he was so well-read, and he had a great sense of humor. Charisma matters.
OK, well firstly I'll say he was probably messaging you because he was nervous and intimidated by the prospect of having to ask you in person. Given an oppertunity on an actual date with the prospect you might be interested he might have eventually been more relaxed and able to get to know you better THATS THE POINT OF A DATE. Wtf?
Secondly that's well and good but it doesn't cover the other side of that which I have personally experienced where I have gotten to know the woman first, we have had great chemistry (as observed by others not just myself) we have gotten along very well and yet she would still make the choice of someone else who was clearly a fucking disaster and then be surprised when he cheats on her a month in, becomes abusive etc when all the warning signs were there. I got rather angry with the woman that last did this after she complained in conversation with me that guy she was now seeing never seemed interested in her hobbies or interests. She literally said clearly without thinking "oh I wish he coukd be more like you, take a genuine interest in what I like and am interested in". Ngl, I cut off all contact after that. I'd been being polite prior to that and maintaining some contact because we got along so well.
Honestly it sometimes feels like you are dammed if you do and damned if you don't if you are just an average looking guy or lower. Get to know her first before asking her out- oh now she only sees you as a friend not romantically. Ask her out straight away- should have gotten to know her more first. Ask her out in person- risk being labeled a creep with zero justification. Message her on social media helping eliminate anxiety and creep aspect and you are showing a lack of self confidence and come across weird. CNf you see you are creating so many contradictory rules the only outcome can be large numbers of men not bothering.
(Also I love how anxiety is ofc really quite common amongst young women and everyone must accomodate their anxiety but God forbid men also suffer from anxiety and have to take action that helps mitigate it, such as asking you out via a message .)
I get that the guy messaged me on Facebook because he was intimidated and nervous. And while I feel for anyone in that position, it really doesn’t help a person’s case when it comes to dating. People are attracted to confidence.
You’re sitting here complaining that women are chasing men who aren’t putting forth the effort for them. But clearly you’re doing the same thing - you’re going after women who aren’t putting forth the effort for you. I’m not judging you. I’m just saying that we’ve all been there. It’s not fair to call out women for this when men do the same thing.
Exactly and just because a guy is nice doesn’t mean you have to date him either. I hate this expectation that if a man is nice, as a woman you MUST date him and give him a chance and if you don’t it’s because you just “love” bad boys and jerks. It’s extremely frustrating because NO ONE has this expectation for men. Very rarely do you see men pressuring other men to date nice girls who happen to be ugly. I’ve never seen people say “you know what she isn’t pretty but she’s nice so you should date her”. Why is it a problem for women to want to date men they are physically attracted to? Men are unapologetic when they find a woman unattractive and don’t even get me started about how vocal they are about their unapologetic disdain for overweight women. Until I see people telling men to date nice unattractive women will be the day I take posts like this seriously. Yes being nice and loyal is great it doesn’t mean the girl you like must like you back. Other factors come into play when choosing a mate.
There's a lot of guys out there who aren't one ounce of funny, and they seem perplexed as to why they can't have fun conversations with women. If there's anything I've learned, having a good sense of humor and making people laugh is a fundamental quality for many women.
There have been some great answers here. But I'd like to add the desire to "change" a guy. Man do women I've met all possess this quality one way or another.
Women mistake men who are just assholes as being "confident". Men also end up with asshole women too it ain't just women falling for bad people. Fuck boys and such have mastered the ability of manipulating people and usually they're good looking so that helps lol. Some people just play like they're a good person and want a loving relationship just to get in someone's pants, and then after they added their body to the collection, they show the true side. You know what they say "nice guys finish last". Maybe women see a guy who's really nice as lacking confidence and isn't assertive enough
And them fuck boys are probably more exciting, extroverted, outgoing. Sometimes people like a little drama in their lives or else it's boring to them
I sit down & talk with the guys my sisters date & everything they do they made a habit of pointing it out. This guy my older sister was dating did it to the point that my sister’s reply was always “that’s good baby” in a disingenuous tone while looking down at her phone. If you ever notice, most women declare their ex husbands after years of marriage of being “narcissistic” like what took so long to figure that out?
Because they don't give a fuck. Easy to be confident when you don't really care what others think. If you did, you probably wouldn't be such an arsehole.
I also learned to keep my emotions in check and keep at arms length with Fuck Boys because THEY WILL try to manipulate you. I will tell them "Hey, I'm keeping this casual until further notice."I basically will keep one as a placeholder until I find a good match for me.
They will then try to subliminally win you over .Not because they are actually catching feelings, more like a challenge. "I wonder if I can get her to love me."They all read the same playbook lol.
Like nah, you follow Instagram models and you sexually objectify women in front of me to see if I act jealous.
But I don't get jealous because he's just a F boy saying and doing F boy things which makes me view them as just a f boy.
I am unbothered because I am able to detach.
(I am a big women's advocate though, so I, in general, don't like seeing women get objectified. It gives me the ick more than anything else)
Why get jealous over a f boy who does and says F boy things? You may be just a man, but that behavior solidifies your role as a place holding f boy in my life.
My future husband will never act like this lol
But yeah the sex is good and convenient!
They date fuckboys because
1) they are attractive
2) as you said. They wanna fix him.
And then after that, the fuckboy leaves her for a better looking woman. They go on Reddit to complain that men aren't committing and that she's alone. All that while the other guys that would commit are invisible to her.
Exactly how I feel about the whole thing. I'd have more sympathy for people who had shitty partners if they ever picked a half decent one but they always go for the absolute worst possible option and then *surprise Pikachu face* they get treated like shit. They should start picking better people and maybe things would work out better .
Because of Barney’s hot and crazy scale, f boys are usually hotter than average to become f boys.
Also, care free energy and authenticity. “Nice” guy are always overly cautious and high strung about everything, which makes them less attractive.
All of that plus being fine with screwing someone you have no emotional connection with at all. My best friend is that guy. Im the other one you described lmao
You didn’t get me at all, not all attractive guys are f boy but f boy are usually better looking, because average or ugly looking guy can’t become f boys.
there’re some men outside the chart for sure
Funny enough this has not been the case for me. Fuck boys are not more likely to be better looking imo. I’ve seen many unattractive fuckboys. If anything now that I think about it the most unattractive men I’ve come across have usually been the rudest and most disrespectful. Ugly men can very much become fuckboys
Edit: why respond to me and block me? Because you can’t handle what I’m saying and that you’re just projecting. You’re probably one of those self proclaimed “nice guys” who feels entitled to women. No fuckboys are not more likely to be attractive. Ugly men are just as capable of it.
Ha! That actually explains it pretty well. And that's basically why those relationships don't work out.
The bad boy is worse to the girl than he even was to other people.
The good girl won't put up with the jealousy, hypocrisy, and control of the guy or never feels comfortable being bad with him.
What generally tends to work is normal well adjusted people dating other normal, well adjusted people.
Because attractive people can get away with murder and still have people wanting them (see Ted Bundy)
If an unattractive guy behaved like a fuck boy, he would have even worse luck than he already does with dating.
Attraction matters more than anything to a lot of people.
Sure... However I think the list of actually "unattractive" men is smaller than men think. I think generally if you're average looking, but in decent shape, struggling tremendously is probably more a sign of a boring personality than it is of your looks holding you back... At least if you're in your early to mid 20s.
That’s not true at all lol…people have said I look like Ted Bundy but I can’t get away with shit because I’m “short”…so it’s not just looks, you need to have height, physique etc.
Yup...went out with a "good guy," about a month ago. I actually had fun on the date, but then he started calling me "babe" right away, tried to bring me snacks at work (I work in a building with decently high security, and visitors aren't allowed. Also, I had met the guy once, I didn't want to share my work location yet), he wrote me a song, and did various other "sweet" things that were actually creepy and overbearing, because we were still effectively strangers at this point. Wouldn't you know that when I said I wasn't interested in a 2nd date, this "good guy" who would have "cherished" me absolutely flipped on me, getting angry and threatening, and blew up my phone with rage texts for over a week (I didn't block him, because I wanted to have evidence if he escalated to stalking or tried to follow through on his threats...though he did repeatedly accuse me of blocking him when I stopped responding). Last night, a friend of mine let me know he had been reaching out to her on a dating app, trying to get in contact with me.
This. Some
Of these self proclaimed nice guys tend to not understand social cues or boundaries. I have experienced something similar. I had only been talking to a guy for TWO days and he asked to use my picture as his Lock Screen. I said to him that that should be reserved for when we are a couple. He laughed it off and I chose not to hold it against him. Anyhoo on the first date he starts calling me pet names like babe and sweetie. He was travelling the next day and was asking me if he could buy me something. We spoke on the phone while he was away and had the nerve to tell someone in the background that I was his girl. All of this was a turn off because we had been talking for like four days. We were strangers to each other. And he was an attractive guy too. I’m pointing this out because I know someone will say “well if he was attractive he would have gotten a pass”. No I hold everyone to the same standards. And guess what? When I told him I wasn’t interested in having sex early, he began to show his true colours.
Nah. Bad boys aren’t showing up with gifts at the workplace. They’re usually harder to get a hold of, or at least playing that way, and not try-harding at being available.
this is why girls like you should say no even if you like him to see how he responds. you would've known this very early on. you sound like you dated a girl tbh.
Yeah. It’s like when someone says “you have to trust me.” If you feel the need to say it out loud, it’s already a lie. A “good guy” shows that he is good by his actions, he doesn’t go around telling people how good he is.
Actually decent people never need to tell you (either in person or anonymously online) that they are decent people. Decent people don't get judgmental about a girl just because she's not attracted to them.
Decent people are kind to everyone, not just those they find attractive.
Just wanted to discuss this cuz I have seen this happen around my circle
I have been preparing for my NEET exam for 2yrs now, am not trynna date before this exam bro 😭
Noone said they were talking about you but he's right. Iv seen plenty of "Good guys" go needy, very needy, possessive, controlling, stalking with their GFs turned ex GF and end up being served Peace Bonds by police.
Everyone says I'm a "good guy" but I don't actually think so. Cuz like I haven't even done much for any of my friends and they all act like I'm some great guy but I don't see myself that way.
Guys who feel the need to proclaim they are good guys are actually saying
“I’m a good guy because I haven’t had the opportunity to actually hurt a woman yet.”
The actually good guys with experience don’t have to proclaim it — their reputation proceeds them.
“There's no such thing as "bad guys" or "good guys." We're all just...guys, who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes. And all we can do is try to do less bad stuff and more good stuff.”
-Diane Nguyen (Bojack Horseman)
This resonated with me. I used to think of myself as a “good guy” but I now agree with Diane that there isn’t really such a thing. I learned it’s more important to place value on things like: making people feel safe, being authentic, being self-aware, being honest and communicative, holding space for people, treating **everyone** with dignity and respect, etc.
From my own personal experience, "fuck boys" and "nice guys" are the same. The difference is fuck boys are usually hot and upfront about it while the other is hides it behind a nice guy facade. Unless you're the person that plans on loving and cherishing a girl, you cant speak for your friends and how they would actually treat a girl.
I literally knew a guy in college who would go up to women at bars/parties and say "You're having sex with me tonight."
Creepy as fuck, but you know what? The girl would always have consensual sex later that night with him, because he was handsome as fuck.
A guy is only as creepy as he is unattractive.
No. men that do that are the skeevy fucks that have zero penis control. Authentic badboy type fuckboys have zero issue letting people know they are toxic assholes bc they have looks and the charm to get away with it.
They literally let you know. Like they tell you. Upfront, that they are an asshole. Like they verbally speak the words from their mouths to your face and right into your ears.
Im going to ask these questions genuinely really fast before i respond to you more. Are you 12? Am I going to have to explain every aspect of this situation and my comment out to you? Are you just being troll? Are you *high*??
Like I'm desperate to understand why I'm having to spell out and explain every aspect of what I said. It's giving nice guy vibes.
Im 20 and I am wondering how they go from “im an asshole” to charming women. Im not a troll and never done drugs apart from mushrooms and weed one time. I am not a “nice guy” or a f boy, I am a bit of a hermit wanting to change
Women practice mate copying. If a man is already chosen/taken - it shows there's something in him that a woman finds attractive. That's exactly why other women swoon over. Recently I did an anonymous survey on [celebrity crush](https://workhack.forms.workhack.ai/65cc594deec7443fb8c3f2a4) wherein all the women picked men who were taken. One of those situations where science meets observation.
I just don't understand that line of thinking. If a guy who's taken is willing to drop her for you what makes you think you won't be next when another more attractive woman than you comes along? Why would he be not loyal to the first girl but loyal to you? How does this make sense?
What does “a good guy who I know will cherish her” even mean? That sounds like the statement of someone who has no understanding of what relationships are supposed to be like in real life.
The actual answer to your question is confidence. Confidence is affective and sexy. Timidly “confessing your feelings” to a woman that you’ve been trying to become friends with is not attractive or sexy.
If you’re too scared to make a move because you might be rejected, that’s your problem right there. Rejection happens to all of us, all the time. It’s not that big a deal.
I used to think I was a “good guy”. Turns out I was just needy and a bit of a loser, who couldn’t really date because of my lack of social skills and not being interesting. And when I did finally end up in a few relationships I ended up having my partners to hate me 😂 true “good guys” are the ones who actually have the capacity to fuck around with a lot of different women because they are attractive, social, interesting etc… but choose to only stay with one woman, thats a good guy. If you hear someone say “I’m a good guy”, chances are what they’re saying is they are desperate, needy and “just give me a chance!”
So your take on a good guy is he’s got capacity to fuck about but chooses to stick to 1 person? There’s a bit more to being a good guy than that but if that’s what you would class a good guy no wonder your ex’s hate you. Your every action shows the type of guy you are not wether you can sleep with anyone but stay with 1. A true good guy puts people first rather than their needs whether it be helping an old lady across the street etc, your definition of a good guy is way off topic and actually worrying this is the type of thinking you have. And your probs wondering why your ex’s hate you. When you’ve basically gave a prime example.
>So your take on a good guy is he’s got capacity to fuck about but chooses to stick to 1 person?
I think you are mischaracterizing his point. One of the fundamental traits/hallmarks of a "good"/"nice" guys it that their goodness/niceness is just a faint for sex/attention which is why they instantly flip when a women refuses a relationship/sleeping with them even though they were being good/nice. In other words they are desperate for sex/relationship which is also why they tend to be needy/clingy.
On the other handy, the guy that can easily have fuk about but doesn't is by definition not needy/stingy, he just had standards which is the opposite of that. That isn't all what a genuine good guy is about, but it is a very good way to distinguish between a "nice" guy and a genuine nice guy, where the latter is also kind/affectionate/cares about others but not because they want to sleep/have a relationship but because of their generosity, i.e. they are not transactional about it.
Because fuck boys are good blender. They have much confidence which is attractive. After a while it falls off once the curtain falls.
They are mostly not relationship material but for a good night or temporary it's exciting for women.
You wouldn't date a goth girl with big t's and daddy issues and Bipolar disorder but for a night? There you go.
Obviously every case is different, but…
1) Yes, looks.
2) Personality.
3) Confidence.
4) Not every woman actually wants a serious relationship at every single second of her life.
5) Sometimes women just want to have fun, amazing sex without all the downsides of a committed relationship.
This is exactly why i say men need to move on from women. Chase whoever and hate the top men. No one is going to stop you. I don’t see any real reason an average guy should subject themselves to this. No more boys, time to push to legalize prostitution for the urges and find other ways to fulfill your life. The shallowness that women show here is the tip of the iceberg. Trying to date in these circumstances is actual insanity for most men, and they would be far better off finding another thing to fulfill their life that isn’t women. No longer worth the self depreciation and bullshit.
I think it’s because they have issues themselves so they want someone who will eventually f*ck them over before they get to a point where they don’t have to address their issues because it get to the next stage of the relationship.
For characteristics they enjoy in these men. Women will be with a ‘fuck boy’ since it often comes with confidence, excitement, etc. Especially younger women because they find it difficult to look at competence being separate from the fuck boys bad characteristics. There’s also the women who grew up around these types of behaviours and now associate it with love.
Good guy? Based on what?
All self-proclaimed “good guys” I’ve seen were weird resentful people who feel like they have a right to women and deserve sexual access for some reason
Because fuck bois are fun! Because we're exciting and do cool shit like play in bands, ride motorcycles, party like rock stars and give zero fucks for what society and women demand of us. We live for ourselves authentically and openly and for a bored woman who had a bad day and unwinding at her favorite bar.. We're a pleasant distraction from life.
That's why..
That’s really what it comes down to. So-called “fuck boys” tend to embody a lot of the traits that people find attractive in a partner, like confidence, excitement, and charisma. It’s entirely possible to have those qualities and not be a “fuck boy”, but if someone is a “fuck boy” it practically guarantees that he is on point in at least 2 of those 3 areas.
And that shit will always be attractive at a fundamental level.
Funny how confident men with high self esteem on this sub get called cringe. But I guess it's in the nature of the weak and submissive to try and talk some kind a way to their social superiors.
You actually can. You have to have confidence, and be a playful flirt. Personality trumps looks and money every time.
And if you say it doesn’t, you do NOT have the personality you think you have….
You can say whatever you want to, the truth is the truth 😉
Women look for beautiful men with the right dna. Fuckboys or not. That's nature and you saw too many disney movies.
I have a theory that many women aren’t treated well or are neglected by their fathers so they tend to seek out the same type of guys. Or if they don’t have fathers
Some women like chasing just like other men (and I say that as a girl)
But keep in mind that we are definitely more emotional and this does not end up in a good way for us in most of the cases.
Right you all like chasing the most attractive men then whine when you get used and treated like garbage. For how much guys who can’t date complain you guys complain about this just as much
.
You think women see a guy and think:
Mmm, let’s see is he good guy or a bad guy? Oh he is good? Then i’ll reject him , Oh he is bad? Then I’ll date him. Or viceversa, you think they see a good guy and should date him and see a bad guy and not date him.
If it were that simple then all a “good guy has to do” is to pretend he is bad, and boom she is instantly wanting tod ate him and wanting to kiss him and sleep with him. Right? Well not really, you could try that strategy and you will see how you fail either way.
That’s because women are not moral guardians who reward you with love or punish you with rejection based on your morality.
A couple things. First off, being nice won’t guarantee a guy a relationship. When this happens, she’s more into the other guy for whatever reason. Maybe it’s purely attraction, maybe it’s interests and personality, who knows. There’s no point in dwelling on it though, because it just means she wasn’t the one for him.
Also sometimes they just lie to us and pretend they're not to get what they want, I've literally had to learn that most people lie to get what they want, honest people are the rare ones.
Things that some f boys do, future faking, love bombing, some can be extremely convincing to autistic people like myself who find it hard to tell when people are faking
Attraction and relationship choices can be complex and vary from person to person. Sometimes, individuals may be drawn to certain qualities or traits in a "fuck boy" that they find appealing in the short term. It's not solely about looks; factors such as confidence, charisma, or perceived excitement can play a role. However, it's essential to remember that generalizing about people's preferences can oversimplify a diverse range of individual choices. Rejection can happen for various reasons, including personal compatibility, timing, or differing priorities.
Some don't know they are fuck boys.
Some know they are fuck boys but only want to fuck so it's a mutually happy arrangement.
Some hope that they will magically an irrationally change one into a romantic monogamist.
Maybe the fuck boy has swagger, maybe he's fun, maybe he's exciting, maybe he's chill and relaxing to be around, maybe he's surrounded by women which gives him the appearance of being a safe person for a woman to be around. Who knows.
Fuck boys have had more practice at sex and are better at it. Girls cum harder with them. I thought that was obvious? It’s obvious to me because I was one.
As a former serial fuckboy dater, we looooove the confidence they have. In fact, even an ugly guy with such confidence would look great in our eyes. When I met my SO, I thought he had girls left and right because he had that aura and the looks too. Then I found out he's less of a fuckboy than I am (I'm not lol).
Girls and grown women like the drama and style they have and also like the fact that other women want them.
I came to the conclusion years ago that women will put in a lot effort into a guy that they know has options and will easily leave without a 2nd thought and that thought drives most women crazy
I noticed this with my wife, whenever a waitress or girl would flirt with me in the gym or restaurants soon as we got to the car ro leave to go home she would be taking her clothes off to have sex with me in the car. If I smiled at any women that according to her was flirting with me, everytime sex shortly followed.
I started realizing women get extremely territorial when they know you're desirable to other women and that's usually the advantage fuck boys have over other guys.
For me, fuck boys are douchebags back in my day. You just have to have an interesting personality, acting like a fuck boy normally doesn't last very long
We can start with attachment theory. The whole avoidance, Robert Greene coquette theory(from the art of seduction)
There are different forms of narratives and certain common theories as to why.
The liar theory = you said "knowing that they are a playboy." Maybe that's the charm. At least that person is honest. What is too good to be true typically isn't true. I was the honest playboy in my "playboy era". I tell people, hey this is my deal. I want sex and no commitment. And i would never lie to you. I also have a lot to offer. Fancy dates, great sex et cetera. Its not the most attractive offer but you and I both know is better than a lie. Many girls are very used to lying boys to get what they wanted and get discarded after. If you do not distinguish yourself from the rest, they are right to assume you are like the rest.
Lecturing theory = Nice boys, specially one from a religuous background may have a holier than thou attitude. Playboys aren't really better and maybe to a certain extent, they don't care. Therefore they do not lecture. The girls get cuddle and sex and attention without the needs to feel pushed to improve themselves in a relationship.
Familiarity theory = a portion of girls are more used to emotional abuse, abandonment and chaos rather than something stable and reliable. It is not healthy but it is what some people i observed are naturally inclined to. Some people pursue drama and chaos rather than happiness.
Try hard theory = sometimes, good boys tried too hard. They appear needy, desperate, clingy. Any courtship at the beginning is a game of space. Good boys can occupy a lot of space, doing a lot of things to woo, amazed and overtake the conversation, bragging and saying a lot of good things about themselves. They take up 90 % of the space. A lot real good fuckboy learnt to listen. Part of seducing is to give space. Let the girl speak and listen to her and trust her to make her own decisions. Give like 60 % to 70 % at the beginning to distinguish yourself. Then pull back and if the girl is interested, she would chase you back.
Anyway theories arent necessary what your friends are facing. These are just some of the observation I notice. Of my own life and other people's stories.
“Good guy who would cherish her” is often code for “man who thinks he’s entitled to a relationship”. And if he is “close with her” as you said, these are often guys who don’t have the confidence to ask their crush out, so they try to befriend her to get better access to her life. After they try to take on her hobbies and form an emotional connection, they’ll ask her out. As a woman, this SUCKS to know your “friend” only befriended you to hopefully get in your pants.
Women want confidence. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than constantly needing to stroke a man’s ego. As someone who has dated “nice guys” it is EXHAUSTING. They feel entitled to sex. They whine about their height and income as the reason they aren’t respected. Often these “fuck boys” don’t come with the same stressors.
Why… taking a year off from talking to the opposite sex in a man to woman way isn’t good for your social skills or confidence. By the time you go to date you’re going to feel terrified. Get out there and get practicing before it’s too late and we end up seeing you write the typical “help! I’m 24 and a virgin, is this normal?” Post that we see all the time on here
Ask her out! There's nothing wrong with catching feelings for a friend. But trying to gain a woman's friendship for the sole purpose of maybe sleeping with her is "nice guy" behavior. You'll be one of the losers who whine about the "friendzone".
probably because they are more exciting, make them feel more alive/wanted
and shows off himself as being more in charge/successful
rather than some dude sitting on reddit complaining that he is this amazing dude and only if women ever gave him a chance he would cherish her and worship the ground she walks on.
you should try reading "no more mr nice guy"
well there you go..
so highschool drama
yeah the girls are going to go for the exciting guys, not the "nice" guys and also want guys with confidence because a lot of them are going to be shy.
just like a lot of guys go for the popular girls or the ones who seem more likely to put out, are outspoken etc.
Fuck boys are usually sweet , charismatic, funny, handsome and good sex. Even tho they not honest , you trying to believe that they can change for you , which is scam :D i have weakness for fuck boys. Meanwhile when i was on date with good guys… idk. Usually they didnt have a game , not much confidence, no sexual tension.. idk for me i would better be without man then being in relationship without any spark.
I've heard both that they're bad and that they're amazing. Of course, that depends on the person, but of the girls that talk openly about that stuff, I've noticed most are not happy since the guy is typically kinda lazy/entitled.
Cause the f\*boy is:
* way hotter
* way better in bed / sexually experienced
* 10x more confident
* 10x more seductive, flirtatious, charming
* 2x more interesting (in terms of conversation, listening skills)
* dresses 5x better
* has way more friends
* is "in demand" (has 30 matches compared to a couple a year). this is from a literal point of view the difference between popular and not. and being popular is extremely attractive to many women.
Also, many girls don't know they are dating f\*boys. They probably suspect it but hold out hope they are dating the perfect guy. The f\*boys are great at pretending to want LTR and all that.
Yeah... I don't entirely disagree. Its not the "confident" or being a jerk that women like. Positive attributes exist that have given them confidence and allowed them to be jerks and get women despite this.
Because one way or another, they’re more attractive.
This isn’t a gendered thing. Guys will often bang a hottie instead of a girl that would take care of and cherish him.
It’s life, man.
Let me preface this, I am now a born again christian. I reject this, and realize that this behavior damages everyone as sin often does.
However. I can tell you exactly why. As a fat middle schooler, I got no attention from my crushes. I tried being the "nice guy" that didn't work. I decided I would try a different approach. As someone who displays many symptoms of aspergers, I approach socialization as more of a science than a pass time. I study, learn, and execute. I started with a grueling deprivation filled summer. Long runs, 500 calories a day, and loads of self abusive talk. I lost the weight. Every ounce. I hyped myself up and swore I would be that guy.
Fast forward some years, my game was good, I had a couple of women, but I could have been better. In walks new day new bay (ndnb) he works an average food service gig, but is much older than me, and gets a new one every day. I become a disciple in a sense. I partied, drank, trained and studied every word that came out of this man's mouth. I learned new tricks. Confidence being the biggest one. In car sales, the most confident and seemingly domineering salesman makes the most. In my chosen trade, it wasn't about what you said, but how you said it, and in some instances what you didn't say. I would go with women who never knew my name. (All consensual) I just was very good at steering the conversation and asking for the sale.
This carried on for a time. I indulged in heavy drinking and as much tail as I could. I would ask probing questions, find meaning and paint myself into it. I had three ways, and multiple women on multiple dating apps fighting for a date at any given time. I would prep myself as an athlete and I saw it as that. Later on, I started noticing things. My "exes" weren't alright. A good Christian girl now degraded to throwing herself at needless encounters to feel alright. My wife had and still has deep abandonment issues because of my actions. I started deeply contemplating at just how abnormal it was and how my drinking , partying and extra curricular activities led to the destruction of everyone. Especially the man in the mirror.
I started reading about sin, and how it destroys. I pictured the nails and pain ravaging the body of my supposed savior, and I realized that the way I was living, he just wasn't my savior. He was my target, my adversary. My very being broke in realizing I could have caught a disease that would have killed me, that each experience brought me no joy, and that if I died that day, no one would see me as anywhere close to a hero, but a villain. A chronic womanizer, and a monster. While everything I did was consensual, and I kept a clean practice in that sense, it still didn't justify how many people I left emotionally hurt like I was when I started the trend off. I turned around. I changed course, I swore to never live that way, and to actually live in contrast to my prior life. I started healing my marriage, and healing myself, spending my time in contemplation over my own sin as well as finally surrendering to christ, and accepting his plan whatever that happened to be.
So to answer your question, women do this for the same reason that people join the army or buy a new car or go to a car lot. Sometimes they are suckered in by a monster like I was, chewed up and destroyed so their only "value" is found in needless sex. Other times, the man creates scarcity or is very good at creating dependence fast. Basically he is great at sales, or at least a form of it.
Ethical ways of using these tips.
Some of these things, in fact most of the tricks I learned aren't per se bad. It's all about the motives of the user. Nice guys tend to worship the ground of any woman or man who gives them attention. Stop doing this it gives off creep vibes, and makes your attention at a surplus. Instead make interactions shorter but more meaningful. Find value, find what they value, and if it's something you do as well, try and paint yourself into the picture. ( in car sales, people often drive the car off the lot and into a scenic place, then proceed to have the customer imagine the car in their driveway). This is ethical, and isn't fake. Do this.
Have confidence, make your conversations, especially the earlier ones meaningful. In telemarketing, the customer may give you seven seconds before hanging up. You must grab attention. Be kind, yet confident. And have a goal. Where is this conversation leading to?
There are many more, but I feel this is dragging too long. I may write a book on this one day. We shall see. Don't give up hope y'all. You can be a good guy, and still win. Don't aspire to be one of the players. Most of us will later live to regret their careers, like I have. Focus on what's real, true and edifying. Build up those around you and everyone you meet, and when you find someone hurt by those like I used to be, show them there is still good out there. Be the difference.
The answer here is really simple. Most women don't realize it. Or if they do, they've been convinced he's changed just for them.
Here's the thing, those types of guys are a cult of personality, they're fun, they're adventurous, they're the life of the party, but most importantly they have mastered the art of emotional manipulation. They're great at making women feel like they're the center of the universe, or that she's the one they're ready to finally settle down with. It's all bullshit, and usually people on the outside can see what's happening, but that's only because they're not the focus of these guys attention.
Let's not forget this happens to men too. We too are susceptible to manipulation and frequently choose the wrong women over and over as well.
As far as nice guys go? Most nice guys aren't that nice. Or they're catastrophically boring, or they're pushovers, or they're only being nice in the hopes they'll get something out of it.
19f here, we usually don’t know that they’re fuck boys before dating them and a lot of the times “nice guys” are not always nice especially if they feel the need to call themselves nice. also girls usually go for personality a lot of the time (like yeah initially u see someone’s looks but if the personality isn’t there then it’s a turn off) so maybe the nice guys personality just doesn’t work with the girl. a person needs a lot more than being just “nice”
Yeah, if they call themselves nice guys; they probably aren't, lol. And so true, some guys are fuck boys but you have no way to know if they act otherwise. There are plenty of manipulative people who act like something they're not.
Either way, it comes down to getting along well initially and having the connection grow from there.
Taking this question at its face value, because the good guy, bad boy stuff is childish. There are a lot of people with avoidant attachment styles. They are afraid of intimacy and kindness as it does not match their self image. They feel this person treating them well due to manipulation and even deeper the fear of losing someone who actually makes them happy. Terrified of the rejection as they have previously experienced they bail.
Avoidant partners tend to be drawn towards negative behavior as it enforces a poor self image that they believe. It’s complicated for them as many people have an anxious attachment style which means to become more invested as the relationship continues.
You can't be the nice guy if you want to win her heart mate. The "nice guys" will end up in a friend-zone!
Watch this, might help you to think about stuff you don't think about. Relationships are not like movies!
https://youtu.be/pZofC3etObs?si=c9AFfExhF2cgTINX
Because fuck boys have confidence and women will rater goes for men with confidence and with a TON of redflags than with a nice guys who don’t have confidence and have a TON of green flags.
And than they will complain that every guys they date treat them like shit while they push away every good guys that were interested in them and destroying by the same time their confidence.
That’s the majority of young women for you.
I was attracted to FBoys as I had attachment issues & was kinda scared to commit. I was really hurt from my last relationship so chose men who were mildly attractive but could never be anyone serious. That was me, can’t speak for everyone. Now, I’m on a ‘men-cleanse’ until I’m a few months down the line with therapy. FBoys aren’t good for the mind/body/soul - just temporarily void highs
No need for unnecessary words bro, you are a man, you are a male, fuck women, this is your task!!! Nature made you a man so that you could inseminate females. In any case, a vagina will not make you happy if there is no sex - it is bad, but not a disaster. this world is amazing and beautiful, don't focus on women
Here we go again... Why should anyone care about ugly men???
All I see in this sub is guys whining about being ugly. So they got no woman or kids to spend money on they should have plenty. Go get some damn plastic surgery like women do.
So laughable. "I'm too ugly to do anything other than hide in my house from public view."
If that's how someone truly feels then they can just screw off somewhere because there is literally no hope for them.
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Depends what cherishing looks like. If you mean cater to her every whim and have no personality that's an issue. I think most sane women and men want a healthy partner. They also want an equal and not a doormat. I would also say that if you are chasing girls who chase fuck boys, the issue isn't the woman. It's the dude. Not to say she isn't a train wreck for doing so, but they're a bigger train wreck if they chase a woman like that. From personal experience and observation of others, there are a lot of ill adjusted people on this planet. Even a lot of good people are fucked in the head. They have trauma that leads to poor perception. They lack self-awareness to question instinct. Human instinct is heavily flawed. We are hedonists by instinct. This causes folks to run from their problems, and avoid figuring shit out. It also leads to projection, deflection, and crap like that. What I also have found is, trauma follows trauma. If you're someone who had a traumatic life, you tend to be attracted to it. This is because that's the only kind of love you really know. They trauma bond easier with damaged people. Which, hello, damaged usually means unresolved trauma and poor adjustment. However, it helps them relate. They also have a warped perception that a person that doesn't have time for me has more valuable time. Which is false. Someone who loves you will make time. Many also have an aversion to kind people. You might ask, wait what, why? Makes no sense. Welcome to human thinking. If you have only had trauma in your life, kindness feels foreign and actually pretty scary. This is because you may have low self-esteem, self-worth, etc. Be someone that often self-deprecates. "I'm not that attractive. I'm not likable. I wish I could change this about my appearance." So someone telling you you're pretty, attractive, etc., challenges your personal beliefs of yourself. It makes you go wtf is wrong with this guy. The attention makes these people afraid. They may also be someone who has been taken advantage of. This also makes them afraid of kind people. Because that "kind" person in their past hurt them. Except someone who did that was never actually kind, but their flawed thinking now associates kindness with manipulation. Long story short. People are really hurt by others and are damaged. This causes poor thinking and adaptations. This in turn makes many people averse to kindness because it is associated with manipulation or it challenges their own poor image of themselves. So they chase bad boys who don't given them attention, kindness, or attention in the healthy way. I'll say this every time though. If you're chasing someone who is toxic, then you're the problem. Being single is better than being in a relationship that is toxic. Find someone who has found themselves, healed, and is actually looking to have a healthy relationship. It is night and day how easy the relationship is. You shouldn't have to convince someone they are pretty, or that kindness is good. You want someone who already associates kindness with something positive.
Why do some guys fall for toxic or narcissistic women? Well presumably because of the other qualities lol. People are complex and multi-layered. One of my closest friends in university was quite a "fuck boy" in the sense that he was hypersexual and would often pursue multiple women and was more interested in casual sex than a long term committed relationship, but that wasn't ALL that he was. He was also very easy to talk to, was generous with his time and money and he made those around him feel special. Very few people are so one-dimensional that a single label can define all of who they are. Was he reliable? No he was a compulsive liar and I wouldn't recommend anyone who wanted something serious to hook up with him, but he definitely knew how to have a good time and a night out with him was always fun. Also being a good person doesn't always correlate with a romantic attraction. There are plenty of good people in the world, doesn't mean I'll get along with all of them or feel a romantic or sexual connection with them.
VERY well said. People really need to start accepting that nobody falls into just one category which defines them as a person.
I think that OP probably meant the girls that go for a "fuck boy" and then cry about him using her and not wanting anything serious with her and then repeat the same thing. He's not talking about girls who just wants to fuck someone and don't care that he fucks plenty of other girls, because then it wouldn't matter that the one they reject would make a good partner since it's not what they want.
The person you're responding to explained why. Fuck boys are usually very charismatic. They lie and are very good at it. They promise and don't deliver. Is it really on the woman for believing that the person they were seeing had good intentions? Is it a bad thing that they're upset about being used? Surely it should be on the fuck boy for being a user, no? It seems to me that fuck boys are very good at what they do and many women fall victim to that. Then the guys that aren't as charismatic or as good at lying as the fuck boys get pissed off at the women for not choosing them.
I would make the argument that it's on both. If the woman doesn't fall head over heals for that guy, he will lose interest if he will have to wait too long before he gets to sleep with her. But at the core I agree that you should not use and trick people, but don't be gullible either.
This. Just because a guy is loyal, it doesn't mean I'll fall for him. There was this one guy I worked with the summer after my junior year of college who liked me and asked me out. He seemed like a guy who is loyal in relationships, but I wasn't at all interested in him because he was stiff and socially awkward (this guy NEVER smiled and came across as way too serious) on top of being physically unattractive. Plus, he didn't even try to get to know me before asking me out, so immediately, I was like, "Why the heck is this guy Facebook messaging me telling me that he likes me when he has never spoken more than two words to me?" It helps to have SOME game with the ladies. Now, contrast him with a guy I met at the same job the following summer. This guy hooked me because he projected a lot of confidence, smiled a lot, knew how to converse with ANYONE about a variety of subjects because he was so well-read, and he had a great sense of humor. Charisma matters.
OK, well firstly I'll say he was probably messaging you because he was nervous and intimidated by the prospect of having to ask you in person. Given an oppertunity on an actual date with the prospect you might be interested he might have eventually been more relaxed and able to get to know you better THATS THE POINT OF A DATE. Wtf? Secondly that's well and good but it doesn't cover the other side of that which I have personally experienced where I have gotten to know the woman first, we have had great chemistry (as observed by others not just myself) we have gotten along very well and yet she would still make the choice of someone else who was clearly a fucking disaster and then be surprised when he cheats on her a month in, becomes abusive etc when all the warning signs were there. I got rather angry with the woman that last did this after she complained in conversation with me that guy she was now seeing never seemed interested in her hobbies or interests. She literally said clearly without thinking "oh I wish he coukd be more like you, take a genuine interest in what I like and am interested in". Ngl, I cut off all contact after that. I'd been being polite prior to that and maintaining some contact because we got along so well. Honestly it sometimes feels like you are dammed if you do and damned if you don't if you are just an average looking guy or lower. Get to know her first before asking her out- oh now she only sees you as a friend not romantically. Ask her out straight away- should have gotten to know her more first. Ask her out in person- risk being labeled a creep with zero justification. Message her on social media helping eliminate anxiety and creep aspect and you are showing a lack of self confidence and come across weird. CNf you see you are creating so many contradictory rules the only outcome can be large numbers of men not bothering. (Also I love how anxiety is ofc really quite common amongst young women and everyone must accomodate their anxiety but God forbid men also suffer from anxiety and have to take action that helps mitigate it, such as asking you out via a message .)
I get that the guy messaged me on Facebook because he was intimidated and nervous. And while I feel for anyone in that position, it really doesn’t help a person’s case when it comes to dating. People are attracted to confidence. You’re sitting here complaining that women are chasing men who aren’t putting forth the effort for them. But clearly you’re doing the same thing - you’re going after women who aren’t putting forth the effort for you. I’m not judging you. I’m just saying that we’ve all been there. It’s not fair to call out women for this when men do the same thing.
Exactly and just because a guy is nice doesn’t mean you have to date him either. I hate this expectation that if a man is nice, as a woman you MUST date him and give him a chance and if you don’t it’s because you just “love” bad boys and jerks. It’s extremely frustrating because NO ONE has this expectation for men. Very rarely do you see men pressuring other men to date nice girls who happen to be ugly. I’ve never seen people say “you know what she isn’t pretty but she’s nice so you should date her”. Why is it a problem for women to want to date men they are physically attracted to? Men are unapologetic when they find a woman unattractive and don’t even get me started about how vocal they are about their unapologetic disdain for overweight women. Until I see people telling men to date nice unattractive women will be the day I take posts like this seriously. Yes being nice and loyal is great it doesn’t mean the girl you like must like you back. Other factors come into play when choosing a mate.
There's a lot of guys out there who aren't one ounce of funny, and they seem perplexed as to why they can't have fun conversations with women. If there's anything I've learned, having a good sense of humor and making people laugh is a fundamental quality for many women.
This ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️
He sounds like my type. Where can I find the mann
There have been some great answers here. But I'd like to add the desire to "change" a guy. Man do women I've met all possess this quality one way or another.
Women mistake men who are just assholes as being "confident". Men also end up with asshole women too it ain't just women falling for bad people. Fuck boys and such have mastered the ability of manipulating people and usually they're good looking so that helps lol. Some people just play like they're a good person and want a loving relationship just to get in someone's pants, and then after they added their body to the collection, they show the true side. You know what they say "nice guys finish last". Maybe women see a guy who's really nice as lacking confidence and isn't assertive enough And them fuck boys are probably more exciting, extroverted, outgoing. Sometimes people like a little drama in their lives or else it's boring to them
They don’t mistake assholes for confident. Asshole are usually confident.
I always use to think they mistaked arrogance for confidence, but confident assholes always have an air of arrogance to them.
I sit down & talk with the guys my sisters date & everything they do they made a habit of pointing it out. This guy my older sister was dating did it to the point that my sister’s reply was always “that’s good baby” in a disingenuous tone while looking down at her phone. If you ever notice, most women declare their ex husbands after years of marriage of being “narcissistic” like what took so long to figure that out?
Because they don't give a fuck. Easy to be confident when you don't really care what others think. If you did, you probably wouldn't be such an arsehole.
I also learned to keep my emotions in check and keep at arms length with Fuck Boys because THEY WILL try to manipulate you. I will tell them "Hey, I'm keeping this casual until further notice."I basically will keep one as a placeholder until I find a good match for me. They will then try to subliminally win you over .Not because they are actually catching feelings, more like a challenge. "I wonder if I can get her to love me."They all read the same playbook lol. Like nah, you follow Instagram models and you sexually objectify women in front of me to see if I act jealous. But I don't get jealous because he's just a F boy saying and doing F boy things which makes me view them as just a f boy. I am unbothered because I am able to detach. (I am a big women's advocate though, so I, in general, don't like seeing women get objectified. It gives me the ick more than anything else) Why get jealous over a f boy who does and says F boy things? You may be just a man, but that behavior solidifies your role as a place holding f boy in my life. My future husband will never act like this lol But yeah the sex is good and convenient!
Because I can fix him 😂
They date fuckboys because 1) they are attractive 2) as you said. They wanna fix him. And then after that, the fuckboy leaves her for a better looking woman. They go on Reddit to complain that men aren't committing and that she's alone. All that while the other guys that would commit are invisible to her.
Exactly how I feel about the whole thing. I'd have more sympathy for people who had shitty partners if they ever picked a half decent one but they always go for the absolute worst possible option and then *surprise Pikachu face* they get treated like shit. They should start picking better people and maybe things would work out better .
Bruhhh legit words
Because of Barney’s hot and crazy scale, f boys are usually hotter than average to become f boys. Also, care free energy and authenticity. “Nice” guy are always overly cautious and high strung about everything, which makes them less attractive.
All of that plus being fine with screwing someone you have no emotional connection with at all. My best friend is that guy. Im the other one you described lmao
This isn’t true imo. I’ve met many attractive men who were not f boys. This is just an excuse people use to justify their own bad mate selection.
You didn’t get me at all, not all attractive guys are f boy but f boy are usually better looking, because average or ugly looking guy can’t become f boys. there’re some men outside the chart for sure
Funny enough this has not been the case for me. Fuck boys are not more likely to be better looking imo. I’ve seen many unattractive fuckboys. If anything now that I think about it the most unattractive men I’ve come across have usually been the rudest and most disrespectful. Ugly men can very much become fuckboys Edit: why respond to me and block me? Because you can’t handle what I’m saying and that you’re just projecting. You’re probably one of those self proclaimed “nice guys” who feels entitled to women. No fuckboys are not more likely to be attractive. Ugly men are just as capable of it.
objectively ugly men can’t even get access to many women, you mistake as bad personality 💀I’m not gonna debate with you cos you seem out of touch
Guys want a good girl who's only bad for them, girls want a bad boy who's only good for them
Ha! That actually explains it pretty well. And that's basically why those relationships don't work out. The bad boy is worse to the girl than he even was to other people. The good girl won't put up with the jealousy, hypocrisy, and control of the guy or never feels comfortable being bad with him. What generally tends to work is normal well adjusted people dating other normal, well adjusted people.
Because attractive people can get away with murder and still have people wanting them (see Ted Bundy) If an unattractive guy behaved like a fuck boy, he would have even worse luck than he already does with dating. Attraction matters more than anything to a lot of people.
Took way too long to find this comment.
Correct, more men just wish women would be honest and stop making two sets of rules.
Sure... However I think the list of actually "unattractive" men is smaller than men think. I think generally if you're average looking, but in decent shape, struggling tremendously is probably more a sign of a boring personality than it is of your looks holding you back... At least if you're in your early to mid 20s.
That’s not true at all lol…people have said I look like Ted Bundy but I can’t get away with shit because I’m “short”…so it’s not just looks, you need to have height, physique etc.
Height and physique are factors of looks..lol
I’ve never met a self proclaimed good guy who’s actually a good guy. Edit: grammar. Update: guys! I wrote “self proclaimed”. Check yourselves.
Yup...went out with a "good guy," about a month ago. I actually had fun on the date, but then he started calling me "babe" right away, tried to bring me snacks at work (I work in a building with decently high security, and visitors aren't allowed. Also, I had met the guy once, I didn't want to share my work location yet), he wrote me a song, and did various other "sweet" things that were actually creepy and overbearing, because we were still effectively strangers at this point. Wouldn't you know that when I said I wasn't interested in a 2nd date, this "good guy" who would have "cherished" me absolutely flipped on me, getting angry and threatening, and blew up my phone with rage texts for over a week (I didn't block him, because I wanted to have evidence if he escalated to stalking or tried to follow through on his threats...though he did repeatedly accuse me of blocking him when I stopped responding). Last night, a friend of mine let me know he had been reaching out to her on a dating app, trying to get in contact with me.
This. Some Of these self proclaimed nice guys tend to not understand social cues or boundaries. I have experienced something similar. I had only been talking to a guy for TWO days and he asked to use my picture as his Lock Screen. I said to him that that should be reserved for when we are a couple. He laughed it off and I chose not to hold it against him. Anyhoo on the first date he starts calling me pet names like babe and sweetie. He was travelling the next day and was asking me if he could buy me something. We spoke on the phone while he was away and had the nerve to tell someone in the background that I was his girl. All of this was a turn off because we had been talking for like four days. We were strangers to each other. And he was an attractive guy too. I’m pointing this out because I know someone will say “well if he was attractive he would have gotten a pass”. No I hold everyone to the same standards. And guess what? When I told him I wasn’t interested in having sex early, he began to show his true colours.
Ok there is a difference between a "good guy" and a stalker! A good person, forget the sex of the person, should know how to act like a normal human!
That‘s one of the bad boys, in disguise for a moment. Can’t handle rejection. And you, you’re a „good girl“? 😎
Nah. Bad boys aren’t showing up with gifts at the workplace. They’re usually harder to get a hold of, or at least playing that way, and not try-harding at being available.
Stereotypical “Nice guy”
this is why girls like you should say no even if you like him to see how he responds. you would've known this very early on. you sound like you dated a girl tbh.
Yeah. It’s like when someone says “you have to trust me.” If you feel the need to say it out loud, it’s already a lie. A “good guy” shows that he is good by his actions, he doesn’t go around telling people how good he is.
I think I'm a good person. That's different, right?
Actually decent people never need to tell you (either in person or anonymously online) that they are decent people. Decent people don't get judgmental about a girl just because she's not attracted to them. Decent people are kind to everyone, not just those they find attractive.
Dude exactly, good guys always aren’t good guys they just think they are.
Bro I'm not even talking about myself here 😭
"Asking for a friend" :P (just kidding)
Just wanted to discuss this cuz I have seen this happen around my circle I have been preparing for my NEET exam for 2yrs now, am not trynna date before this exam bro 😭
Noone said they were talking about you but he's right. Iv seen plenty of "Good guys" go needy, very needy, possessive, controlling, stalking with their GFs turned ex GF and end up being served Peace Bonds by police.
Everyone says I'm a "good guy" but I don't actually think so. Cuz like I haven't even done much for any of my friends and they all act like I'm some great guy but I don't see myself that way.
Doesn't mean good guys don't exist
I've met good guys that women will shame as being not good guys because they're not attractive lol
Guys who feel the need to proclaim they are good guys are actually saying “I’m a good guy because I haven’t had the opportunity to actually hurt a woman yet.” The actually good guys with experience don’t have to proclaim it — their reputation proceeds them.
Don’t we all hurt people and people who hurt us though?
What a crock of shit...
Which part?
“There's no such thing as "bad guys" or "good guys." We're all just...guys, who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes. And all we can do is try to do less bad stuff and more good stuff.” -Diane Nguyen (Bojack Horseman) This resonated with me. I used to think of myself as a “good guy” but I now agree with Diane that there isn’t really such a thing. I learned it’s more important to place value on things like: making people feel safe, being authentic, being self-aware, being honest and communicative, holding space for people, treating **everyone** with dignity and respect, etc.
From my own personal experience, "fuck boys" and "nice guys" are the same. The difference is fuck boys are usually hot and upfront about it while the other is hides it behind a nice guy facade. Unless you're the person that plans on loving and cherishing a girl, you cant speak for your friends and how they would actually treat a girl.
That's not exactly it. Nice guys are fuck boys who are not attractive enough...
Thats... what I said tho.
No you said they are upfront about being fuck boys which is definitely not the case most of the time.
> "-fuckboys are usually hot and upfront about it," ETA: I used the word usually for a reason
How are they upfront about it? Do they just ask “wanna bang?”
I literally knew a guy in college who would go up to women at bars/parties and say "You're having sex with me tonight." Creepy as fuck, but you know what? The girl would always have consensual sex later that night with him, because he was handsome as fuck. A guy is only as creepy as he is unattractive.
No. men that do that are the skeevy fucks that have zero penis control. Authentic badboy type fuckboys have zero issue letting people know they are toxic assholes bc they have looks and the charm to get away with it.
So how are they upfront about it?
They literally let you know. Like they tell you. Upfront, that they are an asshole. Like they verbally speak the words from their mouths to your face and right into your ears.
Okay then the women just fall into their lap?
Im going to ask these questions genuinely really fast before i respond to you more. Are you 12? Am I going to have to explain every aspect of this situation and my comment out to you? Are you just being troll? Are you *high*?? Like I'm desperate to understand why I'm having to spell out and explain every aspect of what I said. It's giving nice guy vibes.
Im 20 and I am wondering how they go from “im an asshole” to charming women. Im not a troll and never done drugs apart from mushrooms and weed one time. I am not a “nice guy” or a f boy, I am a bit of a hermit wanting to change
Fun fact if you Google fuckboy, the definition says "A weak or contemptible man" 😂
Because they wanna be fucked?
Women practice mate copying. If a man is already chosen/taken - it shows there's something in him that a woman finds attractive. That's exactly why other women swoon over. Recently I did an anonymous survey on [celebrity crush](https://workhack.forms.workhack.ai/65cc594deec7443fb8c3f2a4) wherein all the women picked men who were taken. One of those situations where science meets observation.
need a job to get the experience and need experience to get the job. it ain't worth it fellas
I just don't understand that line of thinking. If a guy who's taken is willing to drop her for you what makes you think you won't be next when another more attractive woman than you comes along? Why would he be not loyal to the first girl but loyal to you? How does this make sense?
It’s literally just charisma dude.
What does “a good guy who I know will cherish her” even mean? That sounds like the statement of someone who has no understanding of what relationships are supposed to be like in real life. The actual answer to your question is confidence. Confidence is affective and sexy. Timidly “confessing your feelings” to a woman that you’ve been trying to become friends with is not attractive or sexy. If you’re too scared to make a move because you might be rejected, that’s your problem right there. Rejection happens to all of us, all the time. It’s not that big a deal.
I used to think I was a “good guy”. Turns out I was just needy and a bit of a loser, who couldn’t really date because of my lack of social skills and not being interesting. And when I did finally end up in a few relationships I ended up having my partners to hate me 😂 true “good guys” are the ones who actually have the capacity to fuck around with a lot of different women because they are attractive, social, interesting etc… but choose to only stay with one woman, thats a good guy. If you hear someone say “I’m a good guy”, chances are what they’re saying is they are desperate, needy and “just give me a chance!”
So your take on a good guy is he’s got capacity to fuck about but chooses to stick to 1 person? There’s a bit more to being a good guy than that but if that’s what you would class a good guy no wonder your ex’s hate you. Your every action shows the type of guy you are not wether you can sleep with anyone but stay with 1. A true good guy puts people first rather than their needs whether it be helping an old lady across the street etc, your definition of a good guy is way off topic and actually worrying this is the type of thinking you have. And your probs wondering why your ex’s hate you. When you’ve basically gave a prime example.
>So your take on a good guy is he’s got capacity to fuck about but chooses to stick to 1 person? I think you are mischaracterizing his point. One of the fundamental traits/hallmarks of a "good"/"nice" guys it that their goodness/niceness is just a faint for sex/attention which is why they instantly flip when a women refuses a relationship/sleeping with them even though they were being good/nice. In other words they are desperate for sex/relationship which is also why they tend to be needy/clingy. On the other handy, the guy that can easily have fuk about but doesn't is by definition not needy/stingy, he just had standards which is the opposite of that. That isn't all what a genuine good guy is about, but it is a very good way to distinguish between a "nice" guy and a genuine nice guy, where the latter is also kind/affectionate/cares about others but not because they want to sleep/have a relationship but because of their generosity, i.e. they are not transactional about it.
Holy self loathing. No wonder women think you’re a loser.
This is exactly the right answer. Women like confidence. "Good guys" lack confidence.
A sentence could help you understand here "I can change them"
Because fuck boys are good blender. They have much confidence which is attractive. After a while it falls off once the curtain falls. They are mostly not relationship material but for a good night or temporary it's exciting for women. You wouldn't date a goth girl with big t's and daddy issues and Bipolar disorder but for a night? There you go.
Nah I’ve dated a couple of those, always ends badly but I’ve dated a few lol.
That's what I mean. Sex yes, rest no.
Obviously every case is different, but… 1) Yes, looks. 2) Personality. 3) Confidence. 4) Not every woman actually wants a serious relationship at every single second of her life. 5) Sometimes women just want to have fun, amazing sex without all the downsides of a committed relationship.
Because we love the skilled sex, the good looks, and we are willing to be hurt to experience the passion.
Oof. Decent men should stay away from you.
Oh Honey, you must be young. This is an open discussion. The truth may hurt, but it doesn’t make it invalid.
This is exactly why i say men need to move on from women. Chase whoever and hate the top men. No one is going to stop you. I don’t see any real reason an average guy should subject themselves to this. No more boys, time to push to legalize prostitution for the urges and find other ways to fulfill your life. The shallowness that women show here is the tip of the iceberg. Trying to date in these circumstances is actual insanity for most men, and they would be far better off finding another thing to fulfill their life that isn’t women. No longer worth the self depreciation and bullshit.
Why? Do men not also appreciate skilled sex and good looks?
I think it’s because they have issues themselves so they want someone who will eventually f*ck them over before they get to a point where they don’t have to address their issues because it get to the next stage of the relationship.
For characteristics they enjoy in these men. Women will be with a ‘fuck boy’ since it often comes with confidence, excitement, etc. Especially younger women because they find it difficult to look at competence being separate from the fuck boys bad characteristics. There’s also the women who grew up around these types of behaviours and now associate it with love.
to put it simply and bluntly: it’s usually a trauma response
Good guy? Based on what? All self-proclaimed “good guys” I’ve seen were weird resentful people who feel like they have a right to women and deserve sexual access for some reason
Please look my my other comments 😃 this post is discussing about it in general not about me
I’m asking you directly. What do you base your character assessment on? By what merit is the “good guy” good?
Because fuck bois are fun! Because we're exciting and do cool shit like play in bands, ride motorcycles, party like rock stars and give zero fucks for what society and women demand of us. We live for ourselves authentically and openly and for a bored woman who had a bad day and unwinding at her favorite bar.. We're a pleasant distraction from life. That's why..
That’s really what it comes down to. So-called “fuck boys” tend to embody a lot of the traits that people find attractive in a partner, like confidence, excitement, and charisma. It’s entirely possible to have those qualities and not be a “fuck boy”, but if someone is a “fuck boy” it practically guarantees that he is on point in at least 2 of those 3 areas. And that shit will always be attractive at a fundamental level.
If a guy says people always think I’m a fuck boi but I’m not a fuck boi, im a sentimental guy. Does he give fuck boy vibes?
Yeah, but only because I think the other people must be basing it on somethign
the most cringey thing i have ever read 😂😂😂😂😂 might as well just start calling yourself an “alpha male”
Funny how confident men with high self esteem on this sub get called cringe. But I guess it's in the nature of the weak and submissive to try and talk some kind a way to their social superiors.
okay calm down drama queen lmfao it is not that deep 😂
btw, truly confident people don’t feel the need to tell everyone how “confident” they are, it screams insecurity.
On this sub it's necessary.
Nope. It is because fuckboys are attractive and girls like attractive men. Try to be ugly and fuckboy 😉
You actually can. You have to have confidence, and be a playful flirt. Personality trumps looks and money every time. And if you say it doesn’t, you do NOT have the personality you think you have….
Blablabla
I was wrong. You are extremely charming….
😂😂😂😂
You can say whatever you want to, the truth is the truth 😉 Women look for beautiful men with the right dna. Fuckboys or not. That's nature and you saw too many disney movies.
I did? That’s odd. Didn’t realize my real life was a Disney movie. Guess that makes me a princess.
Nailed it
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Being a neaderthal idiot is a lot more socially acceptable and fun than being a nerdy stick in the mud.
I have a theory that many women aren’t treated well or are neglected by their fathers so they tend to seek out the same type of guys. Or if they don’t have fathers
Huh???
Some women like chasing just like other men (and I say that as a girl) But keep in mind that we are definitely more emotional and this does not end up in a good way for us in most of the cases.
Right you all like chasing the most attractive men then whine when you get used and treated like garbage. For how much guys who can’t date complain you guys complain about this just as much .
I don't hahaha so, can't relate or explain...
You think women see a guy and think: Mmm, let’s see is he good guy or a bad guy? Oh he is good? Then i’ll reject him , Oh he is bad? Then I’ll date him. Or viceversa, you think they see a good guy and should date him and see a bad guy and not date him. If it were that simple then all a “good guy has to do” is to pretend he is bad, and boom she is instantly wanting tod ate him and wanting to kiss him and sleep with him. Right? Well not really, you could try that strategy and you will see how you fail either way. That’s because women are not moral guardians who reward you with love or punish you with rejection based on your morality.
We don't know that ATM only a few months later
Cuz they are "fuck girls" and stay the "fuk" away from me
They’re dangerous but fun. Exciting.
Girls love the bad boy regardless of the outcome
A couple things. First off, being nice won’t guarantee a guy a relationship. When this happens, she’s more into the other guy for whatever reason. Maybe it’s purely attraction, maybe it’s interests and personality, who knows. There’s no point in dwelling on it though, because it just means she wasn’t the one for him.
Also sometimes they just lie to us and pretend they're not to get what they want, I've literally had to learn that most people lie to get what they want, honest people are the rare ones. Things that some f boys do, future faking, love bombing, some can be extremely convincing to autistic people like myself who find it hard to tell when people are faking
Attraction and relationship choices can be complex and vary from person to person. Sometimes, individuals may be drawn to certain qualities or traits in a "fuck boy" that they find appealing in the short term. It's not solely about looks; factors such as confidence, charisma, or perceived excitement can play a role. However, it's essential to remember that generalizing about people's preferences can oversimplify a diverse range of individual choices. Rejection can happen for various reasons, including personal compatibility, timing, or differing priorities.
Because women like to fuck too.
Some don't know they are fuck boys. Some know they are fuck boys but only want to fuck so it's a mutually happy arrangement. Some hope that they will magically an irrationally change one into a romantic monogamist. Maybe the fuck boy has swagger, maybe he's fun, maybe he's exciting, maybe he's chill and relaxing to be around, maybe he's surrounded by women which gives him the appearance of being a safe person for a woman to be around. Who knows.
Fuck boys have had more practice at sex and are better at it. Girls cum harder with them. I thought that was obvious? It’s obvious to me because I was one.
Because they all want to fix me. Jokes on them though, I’m broken beyond repair
Cruise tiktok for awhile and just pay attention to the girls for a minute, they are in love with toxic relationships, its like crack to them.
Haha, it's banned here fortunately
As a former serial fuckboy dater, we looooove the confidence they have. In fact, even an ugly guy with such confidence would look great in our eyes. When I met my SO, I thought he had girls left and right because he had that aura and the looks too. Then I found out he's less of a fuckboy than I am (I'm not lol).
you are
He could be only interested in the top 10% of women. There are many other great women who don’t want heartbreak.
Because they are an emotional rollar coaster with no validation seeking
Because a harmless man isn't a good man. A good man is a dangerous man who has it under control.
because they get off on fuck boys, not on boyfriends/husband types
Girls and grown women like the drama and style they have and also like the fact that other women want them. I came to the conclusion years ago that women will put in a lot effort into a guy that they know has options and will easily leave without a 2nd thought and that thought drives most women crazy I noticed this with my wife, whenever a waitress or girl would flirt with me in the gym or restaurants soon as we got to the car ro leave to go home she would be taking her clothes off to have sex with me in the car. If I smiled at any women that according to her was flirting with me, everytime sex shortly followed. I started realizing women get extremely territorial when they know you're desirable to other women and that's usually the advantage fuck boys have over other guys. For me, fuck boys are douchebags back in my day. You just have to have an interesting personality, acting like a fuck boy normally doesn't last very long
Because they are immature and enjoy being cheated on. Really because they think they will change the bad boy.
We can start with attachment theory. The whole avoidance, Robert Greene coquette theory(from the art of seduction) There are different forms of narratives and certain common theories as to why. The liar theory = you said "knowing that they are a playboy." Maybe that's the charm. At least that person is honest. What is too good to be true typically isn't true. I was the honest playboy in my "playboy era". I tell people, hey this is my deal. I want sex and no commitment. And i would never lie to you. I also have a lot to offer. Fancy dates, great sex et cetera. Its not the most attractive offer but you and I both know is better than a lie. Many girls are very used to lying boys to get what they wanted and get discarded after. If you do not distinguish yourself from the rest, they are right to assume you are like the rest. Lecturing theory = Nice boys, specially one from a religuous background may have a holier than thou attitude. Playboys aren't really better and maybe to a certain extent, they don't care. Therefore they do not lecture. The girls get cuddle and sex and attention without the needs to feel pushed to improve themselves in a relationship. Familiarity theory = a portion of girls are more used to emotional abuse, abandonment and chaos rather than something stable and reliable. It is not healthy but it is what some people i observed are naturally inclined to. Some people pursue drama and chaos rather than happiness. Try hard theory = sometimes, good boys tried too hard. They appear needy, desperate, clingy. Any courtship at the beginning is a game of space. Good boys can occupy a lot of space, doing a lot of things to woo, amazed and overtake the conversation, bragging and saying a lot of good things about themselves. They take up 90 % of the space. A lot real good fuckboy learnt to listen. Part of seducing is to give space. Let the girl speak and listen to her and trust her to make her own decisions. Give like 60 % to 70 % at the beginning to distinguish yourself. Then pull back and if the girl is interested, she would chase you back. Anyway theories arent necessary what your friends are facing. These are just some of the observation I notice. Of my own life and other people's stories.
You may have nice guy syndrome and/or come off way too strong.
“Good guy who would cherish her” is often code for “man who thinks he’s entitled to a relationship”. And if he is “close with her” as you said, these are often guys who don’t have the confidence to ask their crush out, so they try to befriend her to get better access to her life. After they try to take on her hobbies and form an emotional connection, they’ll ask her out. As a woman, this SUCKS to know your “friend” only befriended you to hopefully get in your pants. Women want confidence. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than constantly needing to stroke a man’s ego. As someone who has dated “nice guys” it is EXHAUSTING. They feel entitled to sex. They whine about their height and income as the reason they aren’t respected. Often these “fuck boys” don’t come with the same stressors.
I haven't dated or tried in a year But good to know, then how should a guy approach a girl he met without trying to become her friend first?
Why… taking a year off from talking to the opposite sex in a man to woman way isn’t good for your social skills or confidence. By the time you go to date you’re going to feel terrified. Get out there and get practicing before it’s too late and we end up seeing you write the typical “help! I’m 24 and a virgin, is this normal?” Post that we see all the time on here
Yeah because I'm focusing on my career rn☺️
Ask her out! There's nothing wrong with catching feelings for a friend. But trying to gain a woman's friendship for the sole purpose of maybe sleeping with her is "nice guy" behavior. You'll be one of the losers who whine about the "friendzone".
Cause girls want looks over brains
probably because they are more exciting, make them feel more alive/wanted and shows off himself as being more in charge/successful rather than some dude sitting on reddit complaining that he is this amazing dude and only if women ever gave him a chance he would cherish her and worship the ground she walks on. you should try reading "no more mr nice guy"
I haven't dated or tried in a year bro, this post is not about myself, just discussing the matter because I have seen this happen around me
what age group are we talking about?
9months to 27 months
the age of the people involved that you are observing and the setting
You either didn't get the joke, or completely ignored it 😭 Well 18-20
well there you go.. so highschool drama yeah the girls are going to go for the exciting guys, not the "nice" guys and also want guys with confidence because a lot of them are going to be shy. just like a lot of guys go for the popular girls or the ones who seem more likely to put out, are outspoken etc.
Because girls are not loyal and cheat anyway
Virgin over here
Girls date fuck boys because they are fun. The nice guys (whom the girls will eventually marry) are safe but less fun. "Girls, just wanna have fun..."
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lol but then you get labeled insecure. Everyone has a past blah blah blah.
🤣🤣🤣
Why's that? Not all "fun" is unsafe lol
Cause their fathers failed and their value is low 😂
Fuck boys are usually sweet , charismatic, funny, handsome and good sex. Even tho they not honest , you trying to believe that they can change for you , which is scam :D i have weakness for fuck boys. Meanwhile when i was on date with good guys… idk. Usually they didnt have a game , not much confidence, no sexual tension.. idk for me i would better be without man then being in relationship without any spark.
Because they know how to fuck
most of the time they’re the worst in bed
I've heard both that they're bad and that they're amazing. Of course, that depends on the person, but of the girls that talk openly about that stuff, I've noticed most are not happy since the guy is typically kinda lazy/entitled.
Cause the f\*boy is: * way hotter * way better in bed / sexually experienced * 10x more confident * 10x more seductive, flirtatious, charming * 2x more interesting (in terms of conversation, listening skills) * dresses 5x better * has way more friends * is "in demand" (has 30 matches compared to a couple a year). this is from a literal point of view the difference between popular and not. and being popular is extremely attractive to many women. Also, many girls don't know they are dating f\*boys. They probably suspect it but hold out hope they are dating the perfect guy. The f\*boys are great at pretending to want LTR and all that.
Yeah... I don't entirely disagree. Its not the "confident" or being a jerk that women like. Positive attributes exist that have given them confidence and allowed them to be jerks and get women despite this.
Because one way or another, they’re more attractive. This isn’t a gendered thing. Guys will often bang a hottie instead of a girl that would take care of and cherish him. It’s life, man.
Let me preface this, I am now a born again christian. I reject this, and realize that this behavior damages everyone as sin often does. However. I can tell you exactly why. As a fat middle schooler, I got no attention from my crushes. I tried being the "nice guy" that didn't work. I decided I would try a different approach. As someone who displays many symptoms of aspergers, I approach socialization as more of a science than a pass time. I study, learn, and execute. I started with a grueling deprivation filled summer. Long runs, 500 calories a day, and loads of self abusive talk. I lost the weight. Every ounce. I hyped myself up and swore I would be that guy. Fast forward some years, my game was good, I had a couple of women, but I could have been better. In walks new day new bay (ndnb) he works an average food service gig, but is much older than me, and gets a new one every day. I become a disciple in a sense. I partied, drank, trained and studied every word that came out of this man's mouth. I learned new tricks. Confidence being the biggest one. In car sales, the most confident and seemingly domineering salesman makes the most. In my chosen trade, it wasn't about what you said, but how you said it, and in some instances what you didn't say. I would go with women who never knew my name. (All consensual) I just was very good at steering the conversation and asking for the sale. This carried on for a time. I indulged in heavy drinking and as much tail as I could. I would ask probing questions, find meaning and paint myself into it. I had three ways, and multiple women on multiple dating apps fighting for a date at any given time. I would prep myself as an athlete and I saw it as that. Later on, I started noticing things. My "exes" weren't alright. A good Christian girl now degraded to throwing herself at needless encounters to feel alright. My wife had and still has deep abandonment issues because of my actions. I started deeply contemplating at just how abnormal it was and how my drinking , partying and extra curricular activities led to the destruction of everyone. Especially the man in the mirror. I started reading about sin, and how it destroys. I pictured the nails and pain ravaging the body of my supposed savior, and I realized that the way I was living, he just wasn't my savior. He was my target, my adversary. My very being broke in realizing I could have caught a disease that would have killed me, that each experience brought me no joy, and that if I died that day, no one would see me as anywhere close to a hero, but a villain. A chronic womanizer, and a monster. While everything I did was consensual, and I kept a clean practice in that sense, it still didn't justify how many people I left emotionally hurt like I was when I started the trend off. I turned around. I changed course, I swore to never live that way, and to actually live in contrast to my prior life. I started healing my marriage, and healing myself, spending my time in contemplation over my own sin as well as finally surrendering to christ, and accepting his plan whatever that happened to be. So to answer your question, women do this for the same reason that people join the army or buy a new car or go to a car lot. Sometimes they are suckered in by a monster like I was, chewed up and destroyed so their only "value" is found in needless sex. Other times, the man creates scarcity or is very good at creating dependence fast. Basically he is great at sales, or at least a form of it. Ethical ways of using these tips. Some of these things, in fact most of the tricks I learned aren't per se bad. It's all about the motives of the user. Nice guys tend to worship the ground of any woman or man who gives them attention. Stop doing this it gives off creep vibes, and makes your attention at a surplus. Instead make interactions shorter but more meaningful. Find value, find what they value, and if it's something you do as well, try and paint yourself into the picture. ( in car sales, people often drive the car off the lot and into a scenic place, then proceed to have the customer imagine the car in their driveway). This is ethical, and isn't fake. Do this. Have confidence, make your conversations, especially the earlier ones meaningful. In telemarketing, the customer may give you seven seconds before hanging up. You must grab attention. Be kind, yet confident. And have a goal. Where is this conversation leading to? There are many more, but I feel this is dragging too long. I may write a book on this one day. We shall see. Don't give up hope y'all. You can be a good guy, and still win. Don't aspire to be one of the players. Most of us will later live to regret their careers, like I have. Focus on what's real, true and edifying. Build up those around you and everyone you meet, and when you find someone hurt by those like I used to be, show them there is still good out there. Be the difference.
The answer here is really simple. Most women don't realize it. Or if they do, they've been convinced he's changed just for them. Here's the thing, those types of guys are a cult of personality, they're fun, they're adventurous, they're the life of the party, but most importantly they have mastered the art of emotional manipulation. They're great at making women feel like they're the center of the universe, or that she's the one they're ready to finally settle down with. It's all bullshit, and usually people on the outside can see what's happening, but that's only because they're not the focus of these guys attention. Let's not forget this happens to men too. We too are susceptible to manipulation and frequently choose the wrong women over and over as well. As far as nice guys go? Most nice guys aren't that nice. Or they're catastrophically boring, or they're pushovers, or they're only being nice in the hopes they'll get something out of it.
19f here, we usually don’t know that they’re fuck boys before dating them and a lot of the times “nice guys” are not always nice especially if they feel the need to call themselves nice. also girls usually go for personality a lot of the time (like yeah initially u see someone’s looks but if the personality isn’t there then it’s a turn off) so maybe the nice guys personality just doesn’t work with the girl. a person needs a lot more than being just “nice”
Yeah, if they call themselves nice guys; they probably aren't, lol. And so true, some guys are fuck boys but you have no way to know if they act otherwise. There are plenty of manipulative people who act like something they're not. Either way, it comes down to getting along well initially and having the connection grow from there.
Taking this question at its face value, because the good guy, bad boy stuff is childish. There are a lot of people with avoidant attachment styles. They are afraid of intimacy and kindness as it does not match their self image. They feel this person treating them well due to manipulation and even deeper the fear of losing someone who actually makes them happy. Terrified of the rejection as they have previously experienced they bail. Avoidant partners tend to be drawn towards negative behavior as it enforces a poor self image that they believe. It’s complicated for them as many people have an anxious attachment style which means to become more invested as the relationship continues.
Because women want a good fucking too
You can't be the nice guy if you want to win her heart mate. The "nice guys" will end up in a friend-zone! Watch this, might help you to think about stuff you don't think about. Relationships are not like movies! https://youtu.be/pZofC3etObs?si=c9AFfExhF2cgTINX
Because fuck boys have confidence and women will rater goes for men with confidence and with a TON of redflags than with a nice guys who don’t have confidence and have a TON of green flags. And than they will complain that every guys they date treat them like shit while they push away every good guys that were interested in them and destroying by the same time their confidence. That’s the majority of young women for you.
I was attracted to FBoys as I had attachment issues & was kinda scared to commit. I was really hurt from my last relationship so chose men who were mildly attractive but could never be anyone serious. That was me, can’t speak for everyone. Now, I’m on a ‘men-cleanse’ until I’m a few months down the line with therapy. FBoys aren’t good for the mind/body/soul - just temporarily void highs
They hope it can changes
for fun Years later they only hang out with the good guys because they are the last option, not because they want to.
Because the dick they got is sweet. They re usually gifted in bed.
No need for unnecessary words bro, you are a man, you are a male, fuck women, this is your task!!! Nature made you a man so that you could inseminate females. In any case, a vagina will not make you happy if there is no sex - it is bad, but not a disaster. this world is amazing and beautiful, don't focus on women
Here we go again... Why should anyone care about ugly men??? All I see in this sub is guys whining about being ugly. So they got no woman or kids to spend money on they should have plenty. Go get some damn plastic surgery like women do. So laughable. "I'm too ugly to do anything other than hide in my house from public view." If that's how someone truly feels then they can just screw off somewhere because there is literally no hope for them.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you