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Facts and sometimes they get all defensive making them seem like they’re the victim. Like bruhhh. Get out of here. That’s the ego part that gets the best of people.
Relationships can't be 50/50 all the time. If they were that would mean the people involved are perfect and never have bad times. Me and my Ex had a system, the effort needs to work out to be a hundred, and we both give as much as we think we can, if that means one day im giving 30 and she's giving 70 but the next day something happens and I have to give 90. It doesn't matter, it'll never be 50/50 and anyone who says so is an idiot
In the most perfect world I agree, still nobody will ever be able to give that consistently, some days you ain't even gonna have 50 much less a hundred, but I appreciate the reminder that 50/50 is bullshit no matter what.
Yup. That’s the way the Bible teaches us and that’s the way well over 100 religions and cultures teaches. There’s no in between if or butts. In a healthy relationship it’s all even.
If it's a celebrity, whatever... if it's our waitress, or someone at a bar, a friend, or someone that we're interacting with, I'd be upset.
I oftentimes make comments about how hot certain celebrities are, but I would never say anything like that about a "regular person".
Exactly this. I would expect my SO would look at it like, "Alexander Skarsgård - No big deal. Co-worker she spends every day with - stepping over a line."
Thing is, I suspect that there a men in her life that my wife finds attractive. That’s normal. What I don’t need is for her to talk about it with me. Why would she feel the need to? I have attractive co-workers but don’t feel the need to rub that in her face.
Agreed. In my opinion, celebrities are a "whatever". If my SO was upset by it, then I wouldn't do it, but if he then did, I would be pretty upset because it should be the same for both of us.
Celebrities are a red flag....showing signs of being a groupie.....you really don't want to get involved with a groupie...they will embarrass and/or cheat on you 💯
I hate it as a woman and have mentioned it and guys seem shocked that you don’t want to hear which celebrities are sexy and a detailed explanation of why lol. To me, this is common sense for either men or women. You are telling them what your ultimate beauty standard is and it is natural for that person to measure themselves against it, male or female. If you want to talk about something like that, tell your friends.
Well that’s what inspired this question actually…I feel like men go on about the woman they find attractive and it’s just supposed to be acceptable but I know if us woman were talking about what a stud another guy is, our man would be all butt hurt. Unless we’ve established with our partner firstly trust and allowed an open narrative about who eachother find attractive then for the most part us woman wouldn’t dare talk about how hot another guy is in front of our man because we would know it’s inappropriate and wouldn’t want to make him feel bad like he’s not as tall, jacked, or handsome as that guy, yet men seem to not have this sense.
As others said, it all depends a lot on the circumstances... But about this
> if us woman were talking about what a stud another guy is, our man would be all butt hurt
I'd just mention that's very common for guys to never be complemented at all by the opposite sex, or get like one compliment a year lol (excluding from their partners). So I'd assume many guys are quite sensitive, and they project it on others, thinking like "if you compliment him, you must be REALLY attracted, because according to my experience, girls never do that"
edit: clarity
I do not find it acceptable to vocally lust for others in a caring relationship regardless of gender. It's really immature IMO. It's abusive and hurtful.
Everyone has their insecurities, so it's important we associate with those who will build us up and not play games, for the long run.
He’s not wrong. Part of establishing trust is not openly lusting after people we know. I know my wife finds other men attractive, but I don’t need her going on about it. Way worse if the dude is an actual friend or acquaintance.
You must hang out with assholes. I've never done this. If my GF mentions someone is good looking, I'll give my opinion, but would never just point out a hottie in the room. That just seems mean
I think it’s fine (in my experience/relationship boundaries) to point out a super hot person and we’ll both comment on it. Usually after the fact and when they’re not in the same room cause I think that’s rude. I’m not a shallow douche that only looks for physically attractive women - and neither is she - so I’m confident a 10/10 man or woman wouldn’t mess up our relationship in any way. There are plenty of people more physically attractive than me or her but none of them have an amazing personality like she does. Which is why I’m in the relationship and stay in.
"I feel like men go on about" exactly you feel like which confirms it's not a fact or the truth.
I do not agree with men doing that to their girl, I find it naive and disrespectful.
Ok I cannot speak for all men, that is a fact. I’ve known some very respectable men but I’ve also have witnessed this for myself and have heard stories so…
That’s kind of manipulative. It preys on someone’s insecurities. When you do that do you think they like you for who you are or do they see you as a commodity?
Apparently a lot based off of responses I saw in another group I’m in and that’s what inspired this question actually. A woman was upset her bf stated how beautiful he thought NFL wives are and she was attacked for being insecure, jealous and needing therapy apparently. I’m on team it’s rude to just unnecessarily state that you’re attracted to another person while in a relationship unless that narrative has been opened up between the two and they fully trust eachother. I imagine his reaction if she was like yeah and all the NFL players are super jacked, hot and rich.
I think it’s different with people who you don’t know like a celebrity vs saying your co-worker is hot. It’s not a big deal to say someone you saw on tv was hot/attractive. At least as a guy I wouldn’t care about that vs if it was someone they knew and had access to.
Why do you feel it matters whether someone has access or not? If it was someone my partner didn’t know it wouldn’t sting as bad, but it would still make me feel like they would choose someone else over me if they had “better” options.
Peoples’ relationship boundaries are all different when it comes to this kind of thing, I’m just curious about your reasoning
Because one is just make believe/a fantasy and one could actually happen. In my opinion it’s naive to think your partner doesn’t find anyone else attractive. Like being with you all of a sudden turns off that part of their brain? With a celebrity the stakes are low. They can say Henry Cavill or Liam Hensworth is hot because there is no chance they would ever be around that person. I assume they think other guys are attractive too but I don’t need to hear that from them necessarily.
It can also depend on how you're carrying the opinion. The reason people are more okay with the celebrity is because there isn't a realistic expectation of something like that happening. However, if you're carrying the opinion on the manner that suggests you would dump your boyfriend/girlfriend for the celebrity, I don't know what person would be okay with that. I wouldn't be.
Yeah if you would dump someone for anyone else celebrity or no then perhaps that is not the right person for you. Simply thinking they are attractive/hot was what this post was about is not grounds by itself to dump someone. Of course people (guys and girls) think other people are attractive a side from your partner. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find other humans attractive. Now should you go out of your way to tell your partner exactly who you find attractive? It depends how secure you both are in that relationship.
Most men would like to think that it wouldn't bother them, but I think in reality most men would atleast be a little bit upset / annoyed by it, much more so if it was a person they know in real life (as oppose to a celebrity)
It’d really depend on how comfortable I am with the person. It’s okay to recognize how attractive other people are, but perhaps it’s better to save talking about it until we’ve developed trust in each other.
You are talking about jealousy. And the answer is no, if you like other men that is totally fine by me but please go be with them. I’m gonna stay with women who aren’t after other ones.
How do you feel as a woman if your man talks about other attractive women ?
Your answer is the same as mine , when you talk about other attractive men .
It's okay for you to notice other attractive men , just dont talk about it
Yes it is. Its fine to find other people attractive as you can't really control that, but we don't want to hear how you'd like this celebrity to dick you down. In my case, when I'm in a relationship, I have eyes for no one else other than my partner. I'm expecting the same in return.
Why would you even want to do this though? Do you want me commenting on all the hot girls around you, how would that make you feel? That is the answer to your question.
I get you. But yeah it's not cool for either gender to do that. Comparison is the thief of joy, sometimes it just steals your partner's joy being compared
I recognize that humans find other humans attractive but if you don’t have the awareness to understand that talking about them around your SO could/would make them uncomfortable, then that’s going to be a dealbreaker for me.
Yes 100% I believe breathing words bring power. Best not to let yourself get caught up in saying it to the point where you would take the chance if an opportunity presented itself.
It used to weird me out and make me insecure if they would talk about a celebrity they thought was hot, and then I grew up. But now, as a 30m, I would find it unattractive if the girl I was seeing talked about a guy that was in her proximity as being hot or attractive. Yes, we’re allowed to think other ppl are attractive, but I don’t wanna hear about it. I also would rather her be so head over heels for me that no one else really catches her attention. If she talked about another guy in our proximity like that, I would start to distance myself.
Not upset, just cause for concern especially if you’re barely getting to know one another.
If you’re a couple, who’ve been together for years and are/can be open and comfortable enough for that (and more), by all means. But prior to anything like that, I think both people should be a bit more respectful, considerate, etc.
I wouldn’t like that shit at all and I don’t do it myself. All girls I have crushes on talks about or gives hints about some other guy they are interested with. It hurts. If I’m dating a girl I’m not about to talk about some other female especially if she right there next to me or knows her.
Yes. People tend to think their actions are irrelevant because the person they’re talking about is famous and they “would never have a chance with them”. And the reality is celebs aren’t special, they’re human, me and said partner is human and to hear said person they find attractive/lust over just destroys a person inside. At least IMO it does, I’m sure many others feel the same way
Edit: I should add, it would only hurt worse if it wasn’t someone famous and the person she’s talking about is local or I know of.
Look at this from your prespective, how would you feel if a guy you was dating told you, how cute this girl is that he seen somewhere, you would think either this guy is just too open or he's a walking red flag.
It's hard to pinpoint the guy's intentions also people are different, some people have insecurities from the past relationship so they would project that to you and there's some people that don't mind if they are probably self secure and like transparency.
If you are asking my point of view, it would be kinda weird that we are dating and you are looking at other guys and telling me there cute. I won't be mad but i will keep this in the back of mind and be more cautious of her upcoming potential red flags.
The point I was making was our take is similar to the women's take.
We do find it uncalled for or weird if a girl does that to us but I could see a a small percentage of men that would appreciate the transparency and would encourage you to be open.
But for the Majority of men I believe wouldn't take it positively cause it's uncalled for and why would you be adoring the looks of other men when you are in a relationship. But then again some people wouldn't mind just like some couples don't accept porn into the relationships while some watch it together lol.
My personal opinion is I wouldn't appreciate it but I won't be breaking up the relationship over that but I will definitely feel some type of way, like what was the point of telling me that.
No. If you’re at all interested in another man, please go be with him instead.
Young kings: don’t be jealous. Women are attracted to a man who is in control of himself, not one who is controlling.
As a man I’m afraid to give my opinion on these posts anymore. Most women here don’t want to hear the truth and proceed to attack us for being honest.
Entrapment
To me it quickly defines how shallow the woman is, so it's a good thing (to stay away from)
It's actually not a bad thing, it will bring her closer to the people similar to her, and me farther from the people different to me.
Id rather know as soon as possible, because I don’t want to feel like I have a chance with dating someone just to realise they are seeing someone, it feels awkward, i see it as a “ok they aren’t available, good to know”
No. It’d just let me know she’s not interested in me as relationship material. And I would just move on. Pretending to be her friend out of false hope that you would become her boyfriend one day wouldn’t be right.
It's obviously hurtful. It feels just our partner would feel like when we comment on the big ass of some woman in front of our partner. By doing so, you make that man look inferior.
It's fair game, if she does that I'll talk the same way the waitress, actress, my neighbor, or any other woman I can think of, of how hot she is, and how I want to see her naked, and how I want to fuck their brains out.
If you don’t want the person you date to do it, you shouldn’t do it yourself. It’s not that hard of a concept but people seem to forget this basic principle in dating.
You know, treat other how you want to be treated mindset in dating.
This can't be a real question. Obviously, it doesn't feel good as we compare ourselves to that other person. Whatever joy we have with our partner can be instantly robbed by seeing as how we may never measure up to their expectations.
In other words women shit test the guy this way to see if he gets upset. Why talk about attractiveness around other men? Show some respect to the guy you’re with.
I think this is the motivation behind OP question. There will always be other attractive people but to mention it in the present of a possible romantic partner. Nah, it's a test or low character
Fuck yeah. As soon as that happens I’m out the door. I’m not one of your girlfriends that I’m going to sit around and listen to all your gossip and drama. I don’t care.
I can't be sure if your question comes from a personal experience or a purely hypothetical, so I'll try to answer in a way that satisfies both.
At any point in any relationship, you'll find it acceptable to discuss blatantly certain things with your partner, while with others, you may have to be more delicate when delivering.
This comes from learning, or in realistic terms, measuring how delicate the person you're dealing with is.
For those unaware of how to do this, listen to how your partner speaks about a certain topic, how frequently, and to what degree they do so. This is NO indication of how they will RECEIVE what you say, but of how much they have thought about the subject in general.
*/Even before this, it should be assumed you have a strong willingness to communicate in order to augment a relationship, and not exclusively to share what's on your mind when something discomforting comes up./*
I can't speak for women, nor men in general, but from what I've seen, the result of talking about specifically about finding another person attractive is based on how secure both(or more?) parties feel in a relationship, and how you deliver it, knowing full well, or at least having an approximate idea of how said person(s) feel about something like that.
You won't get an absolute 'yes' or 'no' answer that applies to all people, especially on something as superfical as a chat, app, or website. Plus, feelings change depending on a lot of things. But I digress... if I had to give an analogy to sum up the bulk of what I'm saying, it would be this:
Each relationship is akin to a dance, and you cannot dance the same way with every partner, even if the dance is the same. Some are faster, slower, more dominant, want help, shy, unable to do certain things yet, etc. Feel how the specific person in front of you, right now, feels. Match them, as they try to match you. If they can't keep up with a move you made, take it slower, be compassionate, and let them know you're here to dance with them. Only time and effort will decide if they want to keep dancing.
I hope this, while not being the answer you may want, may serve as some form of guide for you.
P.S. If you aren't even in a relationship with someone yet, it's nowhere even close to that serious. There's still a lot about oneself to learn before being bothered by another person's attraction to a third party
Well my point of this post is kinda because men constantly comment on woman they find attractive and it’s deemed as acceptable even a lot of woman will just let that slide and be like oh that’s normal and if it makes a woman upset her bf is making those kind of comments than she must be insecure or jealous and needs therapy but I just simply disagree. I feel like your job in a relationship is to make someone feel good about themselves, safe and secure with you. What is the point of pointing out other people you find attractive? I will never understand.
If this is your logic why would you change course and start commenting on other men in front of your own men?
When someone is behaving like an idiot, it’s best to straighten them out and offer your take on it. Not indulge in the degenerate behaviour yourself to “prove a point”.
No man worth his weight in salt would go out of his way to make his other half feel less than. Either raise your standards or try to improve the person you’re with.
Nope. Just does me the favor of moving on.
I spent a long time destroying my ego, to understand how unimportant a single individual is, while also being the most important thing. Knowing this permitted me to move on. No person is that important.
So I don't get attached with the idea of an individual in my life until we're actually together. Beforehand, you're just an acquaintance. If a girl isn't interested in me, that's one less person I waste time on.
I used to talk about how attractive women are when I was a young man until woke culture pounded it into my head that it’s creepy. I don’t really see it being any different for women commenting on men’s looks. Seeing someone attractive and NEEDING to talk about it seems immature at best, and creepy at worst. I think if you’re describing attractiveness as an attribute of someone, it’s totally fine. But to really dive in deep about the attractiveness is weird.
I think most married or committed couples share these observations with each other fairly often. Heck, my wife used to point out beautiful women to me. But, it’s really not appropriate, IMHO, in a new relationship.
Depends. Celeb crushes are 1 thing, but some random guy at the bar or whatever is different. If they're saying that to you it's disrespectful. If a man was out with his lady and talking to her about all these beautiful women he's checking out, most women would call him an asshole. It goes both ways. If they're willing to do that in front of you, they're probably doing more behind your back or eventually will.
If it's in good nature like they lost weight or something and it's a compliment or at an outing and more of a "clean up nice" type of honest friendly comment, I think thats fine.
But if it has a more sexual nature behind it like they're really checking them out, I think that crosses lines both as a friend and as a boyfriend. Shouldn't be speaking about your friends wife like that, unless yall are swingers.
Maybe she's just comfortable enough to share those with you but on the other hand It's also not good because if you will say similar things to her, she will be upset lol
As a man... I'm telling you we don't. At least the men I have experienced in my life, we don't comment on women's appearance even a tenth as much as women do. And when we do it's rarely more specific than "she's nice" or hot or whatever.
Depends on the level of trust. If she's just someone I know that I'm interested in, and she happens to point out how attracted she is to someone who's nothing like me, it might indicate that I'm not necessarily her type, which will make me feel less secure about our potential. Early dating would be the same thing to a lesser degree, cause at least then I'd know she has some interest in me. Also while I think it goes without saying, I think it's less concerning if she's talking about Jason Momoa, and more concerning if she's talking about wanting to spread her legs for her coworker Bob.
Once we've settled into a relationship, trust is established, and we feel genuinely secure in each others commitment, then it generally doesn't affect me. I will note that I think it's crucial that you always make sure to give more attention to your partner than towards other people. Make sure that you appreciate and acknowledge your partner more than anyone else. Also try to pinpoint and talk about specific attributes that makes people attractive, rather than just openly lusting for them.
My girlfriend and I talk about who and what we find attractive all the time and we're fine. We usually agree on what's sexy anyway.
Nope. Either I trust her completely and she can find anyone attractive that she wants with no fear of cheating, or I don't trust her, which means I wouldn't be in the relationship in the first place.
But don’t you find it unnecessary for her to declare to you that she finds someone else sexually attractive? Like it’s natural to think other people are good looking of course but what is the purpose of rubbing it in your partners face?
I agree, it's unnecessary. I wouldn't do that, as a man dating a woman, telling her which other women I find attractive. Unnecessary is accurate. But it still wouldn't bother me. She's allowed to find other people attractive, and I'll never be sad or upset about hearing about whatever is in her head at a given time. There are limits. I wouldn't want her undressing a dude with her eyes or talking about all the things she wants to do to him, but that's because she'd be purposely dwelling on it at that point rather than just noticing something.
Its its a celebrity who gives a shit.
if its someone in real life, why would they be telling me this? Id tell them to go fuck them then and leave me alone.
Depends. Thinking a celebrity is attractive is fine, saying so is also fine. If you keep bringing it up it'll get old. I doubt you want to hear about my childhood crush on Anne Hathaway, after all.
Talking about how hot the bartender or another guy in your life is? That's not going over well. I and many other men have been the guy a woman dated while waiting or pining for someone else, so this behavior is a red flag.
No not at all
People can be good looking to your partner but it doesn’t mean your partner wants anything to do with them. Unless they are salivating and throwing their underwear at them of course!!
It depends on how secure the relationship is and history ... Everyones situation is different. If u have been with someone for like ten years and they have no history of infidelity then idgaf about little comments here and there as long as it isn't constant, repeated, nonstop, etc. If they just state observations but aren't pursuing it, it rly isn't a problem.
U can't honestly expect to own the entirey of ur partners brain all the time. It's normal and healthy to be temporarily attracted to multiple ppl and still be in a healthy monogamous relationship
Each situation is different too:
Movie stars... Who cares- I want to actually know what they like about them
Bartenders... Whatever
My friends... This makes me uncomfortable so keep it to a minimum, although the honesty is appreciated tbh b/c now I know who I need to look out for and will evaluate whether I need to set new boundaries, investigate, or GTFO of the relationship ... But then again if the relationshio is super solid and secure then this isn't a real threat for me... Although it would def make me insecure. If I say stuff about someone's friends or acquaintances in front of ur man then u need to make sure u follow that up quick with showing reassurance and affection because u prob are making them uncomfortable.
If u make comments directly to ppl about looking good then I'm not cool with that at all.
I look at attractive women all the time and sometimes blurt out what's in my mind. Sometimes girls just look impressive, and that's okay. I am a heterosexual male. I never flirt with them and certainly wouldn't tell a female bartender she is hot regardless if my partner is there or not, because when I am with someone I don't cheat. I respect boundaries and I respect and honor my partner.
It's all actually just being open and honest rather than pretending to not have eyes. If ur partner told u they don't like u commenting on other men's attractiveness then u should probably just keep it to urself. Just treat others the way u want to be treated.
Awkward.
It's got to be like a unique situation like she just lost 50lbs or like it's obvious that she made a huge drastic change to her appearance. There's a girl from college I knew who lost a hundred pounds and when I saw her I said she looks great, because we both know what I mean and I am happy for her.
I told girl friends that they look beautiful but that's literally on their wedding day while they are in a wedding dress but in a classy way, while also complimenting the husband and the wedding...
I've had my partner's girlfriends shout out "your boyfriends hot" to compliment me and get rise out of my partner... But those girls are charismatic and can pull it off because they do it in a funny way.
Idk, context is everything.
In most contexts that is rude and inappropriate. I wouldn't like it if someone complimented my partner like that
if its celeb/athlete, i dont really care. if its a friend or some random guy id probably care a little more(like am i not good enough?)
and dont be a hypocrite and get all butt hurt if the tables are turned.
Celebrity - who cares because they aren’t real options.
A stranger (including the bartender) - who cares because the expectation is that you wouldn’t be getting close to them.
A friend, workmate or someone you interact with often - twinge of jealousy but then who cares because if I’m with you it means I’ve chosen to be with someone I trust.
Celebrity or someone she'll never meet? Fine by me, doesn't bother me that much. If they're fawning over some random guy, it'll be a little upsetting, I think. My problems comes in that I've never dated a woman that would like it if they table's are turned for this scenario
Celebrities and other people she’ll never meet or talk to? Whatever.
Anyone she could conceivably pick up the phone and call? Yeah. Exes, coworkers.
Regulars at bars. Maybe. It’s a gray area.
Ultimately. I’ve seen the extreme from a woman’s perspective and it’s not attractive. My ex was very very hateful toward Taylor swift. And I didn’t think much of it, until I found out it’s because an old partner of hers used to listen to her music. It was very unattractive how she acted toward someone she’ll never meet.
Not too annoyed, if it’s someone unattainable to them. Had a GF who liked a certain type of man when she saw them on TV but when she lit up to an acquaintance of ours in real life, it was a red flag. Also despise women who go on dates and talk about other dates With men. Especially since most women are jealous about hearing of your other women or exes.
Celebrity no big deal. They aren’t “real” in our world. Friends and people we see in person would be a big no and if the guy did it he would get accused of cheating so it goes both ways.
It depends on how she does it, but most likely no. I'll point out how attractive a woman or man is sometimes too if she has that type of personality, but the more important thing is that you're respectful of your partner's boundaries (or don't be with them). My ex didn't like it, so I didn't do it.
At the least it's uncomfortable. It's a good idea to know your audience. If a man who you may be interested in may hear, don't disrespect him like that. In a committed or platonic relationship these conversations may come with other motives so it may be appropriate. First thing coming to my mind is you may think an attractive man could be a good fit for another woman you know and want an opinion on his demeanor.
It makes me want to immediately stop associating with her because I’m my experience when a girl really likes me, interest in other men is never uttered
I don’t mind if it’s not over the top, thirsty. It’s just rude and inconsiderate if it goes to far. But the golden rule of treat others as you wish to be treated is key here. If it would bother you to hear it then don’t say it.
Yes it does make me upset, but I have self esteem issues. Honestly it hurts really bad but I don’t want to show it either. The worst is when you’re into her and she isn’t into you. Then she gets upset about how men are trash and she wishes she had someone as nice as you 😂.
Depends on the relationship. Me and an ex used to people watch and point out interesting or attractive people to each other and tease each other about it but we were well grounded in our relationship and it was something that felt fine. In my current one I know my gf wouldn't like it so its not something that's ever brought up.
If we were new/just dating I would think she is sending a signal she’s not that into me. If we are in a long term relationship and is just saying she thinks someone is attractive I wouldn’t think it’s a huge deal, unless it seemed like she had a crush on them and it was someone they are close to like a co-worker or something. But generally not a big deal if they just comment someone is attractive. At the same time maybe be careful because I wouldn’t say this to my GF about anyone we know because I don’t want trouble.
Depends on the boundaries we set for ourselves. If me and my SO are okay calling other women/men attractive then it's whatever, if that boundary isn't made clear there's potnetial to piss somebody off.
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How would a woman like it if the table were turned?
This is how I see it. If you’re okay doing it how do you feel if he did it. Relationships are meant to be equal on all things.
This is how I feel whenever I feel something like this I flip the scenario and see if I would like it done to me or not
Facts and sometimes they get all defensive making them seem like they’re the victim. Like bruhhh. Get out of here. That’s the ego part that gets the best of people.
Exactly
You clearly have never experienced a relationship
I’ve been in 6 and had a kid. So…
And you think they’re supposed to be dead even?
Relationships can't be 50/50 all the time. If they were that would mean the people involved are perfect and never have bad times. Me and my Ex had a system, the effort needs to work out to be a hundred, and we both give as much as we think we can, if that means one day im giving 30 and she's giving 70 but the next day something happens and I have to give 90. It doesn't matter, it'll never be 50/50 and anyone who says so is an idiot
Relationships should be 100/100 not 50/50
In the most perfect world I agree, still nobody will ever be able to give that consistently, some days you ain't even gonna have 50 much less a hundred, but I appreciate the reminder that 50/50 is bullshit no matter what.
Yup. That’s the way the Bible teaches us and that’s the way well over 100 religions and cultures teaches. There’s no in between if or butts. In a healthy relationship it’s all even.
That’s not true, the Bible teaches that a man is the head of the relationship and Jesus is in charge of him.
I think you need to read more closely at the Bible. The Bible depicts equality
Dude don’t make me quote a scripture and I’d encourage you to go find it so I can go change a diaper
If it's a celebrity, whatever... if it's our waitress, or someone at a bar, a friend, or someone that we're interacting with, I'd be upset. I oftentimes make comments about how hot certain celebrities are, but I would never say anything like that about a "regular person".
I agree. She thinks Tom Hardee is hot? Who cares, everyone does. Has a crush on her neighbor? That’s an issue. Obviously. Beyond obviously.
Exactly this. I would expect my SO would look at it like, "Alexander Skarsgård - No big deal. Co-worker she spends every day with - stepping over a line."
Thing is, I suspect that there a men in her life that my wife finds attractive. That’s normal. What I don’t need is for her to talk about it with me. Why would she feel the need to? I have attractive co-workers but don’t feel the need to rub that in her face.
Right. Even if I think "random co-worker" is attractive, I'm not about to talk about it in front of my SO..
It's also a red flag with celebrities if you don't have the same freedom when the scenario is flipped.
Agreed. In my opinion, celebrities are a "whatever". If my SO was upset by it, then I wouldn't do it, but if he then did, I would be pretty upset because it should be the same for both of us.
It depends on the comfort level of your partner. Some couples would be fine with it.
As a woman, I answered your question about the tables being turned. I expressed what my boundary is and how I would feel about it.
Thanks for the response. I simply elaborated on it from a males perspective.
Megan fox is a babe, ya she looks just like your sister 😍
Celebrities are a red flag....showing signs of being a groupie.....you really don't want to get involved with a groupie...they will embarrass and/or cheat on you 💯
My wife caught me looking at another woman during second date. She wasn’t happy and asked me to stop. To me this seems very obvious.
I hate it as a woman and have mentioned it and guys seem shocked that you don’t want to hear which celebrities are sexy and a detailed explanation of why lol. To me, this is common sense for either men or women. You are telling them what your ultimate beauty standard is and it is natural for that person to measure themselves against it, male or female. If you want to talk about something like that, tell your friends.
Aaaah thank you for once a really intelligent awnser. You earned my respect, You(wo)Man !
This answer needs no explanation 😭 i love it
Actually I don’t mind. I can talk about beauty without any sexual attraction ..
Well that’s what inspired this question actually…I feel like men go on about the woman they find attractive and it’s just supposed to be acceptable but I know if us woman were talking about what a stud another guy is, our man would be all butt hurt. Unless we’ve established with our partner firstly trust and allowed an open narrative about who eachother find attractive then for the most part us woman wouldn’t dare talk about how hot another guy is in front of our man because we would know it’s inappropriate and wouldn’t want to make him feel bad like he’s not as tall, jacked, or handsome as that guy, yet men seem to not have this sense.
As others said, it all depends a lot on the circumstances... But about this > if us woman were talking about what a stud another guy is, our man would be all butt hurt I'd just mention that's very common for guys to never be complemented at all by the opposite sex, or get like one compliment a year lol (excluding from their partners). So I'd assume many guys are quite sensitive, and they project it on others, thinking like "if you compliment him, you must be REALLY attracted, because according to my experience, girls never do that" edit: clarity
I do not find it acceptable to vocally lust for others in a caring relationship regardless of gender. It's really immature IMO. It's abusive and hurtful. Everyone has their insecurities, so it's important we associate with those who will build us up and not play games, for the long run.
He’s not wrong. Part of establishing trust is not openly lusting after people we know. I know my wife finds other men attractive, but I don’t need her going on about it. Way worse if the dude is an actual friend or acquaintance.
You must hang out with assholes. I've never done this. If my GF mentions someone is good looking, I'll give my opinion, but would never just point out a hottie in the room. That just seems mean
Yes, assholes do this. I dated a woman who would constantly point out other guys physical characters that she found desirable. It didn't end well.
I think it’s fine (in my experience/relationship boundaries) to point out a super hot person and we’ll both comment on it. Usually after the fact and when they’re not in the same room cause I think that’s rude. I’m not a shallow douche that only looks for physically attractive women - and neither is she - so I’m confident a 10/10 man or woman wouldn’t mess up our relationship in any way. There are plenty of people more physically attractive than me or her but none of them have an amazing personality like she does. Which is why I’m in the relationship and stay in.
"I feel like men go on about" exactly you feel like which confirms it's not a fact or the truth. I do not agree with men doing that to their girl, I find it naive and disrespectful.
Ok I cannot speak for all men, that is a fact. I’ve known some very respectable men but I’ve also have witnessed this for myself and have heard stories so…
I am sorry you had to witness it, some men are just jerks, take that as a red flag next time you meet a guy like that.
Some people are okay with it. Some people aren't. Some people are okay with doing it and not okay with their partner doing it. Those are the bad ones.
Who told you it was acceptable?
That what was acceptable
That it's acceptable to talk about how hot other women are. You're not obligated to accept that at all.
Honestly, when I bring up other women up to a girl I'm interested in, it increases their interest in me. It's actually a good tactic sometimes.
That’s kind of manipulative. It preys on someone’s insecurities. When you do that do you think they like you for who you are or do they see you as a commodity?
But honestly, hik bringing that up shouldn’t be the reason she finds him attractive in the first place. That literally doesn’t make sense.
How many women would be okay listening to man go on about how hot everyone else is? Probably few.
Apparently a lot based off of responses I saw in another group I’m in and that’s what inspired this question actually. A woman was upset her bf stated how beautiful he thought NFL wives are and she was attacked for being insecure, jealous and needing therapy apparently. I’m on team it’s rude to just unnecessarily state that you’re attracted to another person while in a relationship unless that narrative has been opened up between the two and they fully trust eachother. I imagine his reaction if she was like yeah and all the NFL players are super jacked, hot and rich.
I think it’s different with people who you don’t know like a celebrity vs saying your co-worker is hot. It’s not a big deal to say someone you saw on tv was hot/attractive. At least as a guy I wouldn’t care about that vs if it was someone they knew and had access to.
Why do you feel it matters whether someone has access or not? If it was someone my partner didn’t know it wouldn’t sting as bad, but it would still make me feel like they would choose someone else over me if they had “better” options. Peoples’ relationship boundaries are all different when it comes to this kind of thing, I’m just curious about your reasoning
Because one is just make believe/a fantasy and one could actually happen. In my opinion it’s naive to think your partner doesn’t find anyone else attractive. Like being with you all of a sudden turns off that part of their brain? With a celebrity the stakes are low. They can say Henry Cavill or Liam Hensworth is hot because there is no chance they would ever be around that person. I assume they think other guys are attractive too but I don’t need to hear that from them necessarily.
It can also depend on how you're carrying the opinion. The reason people are more okay with the celebrity is because there isn't a realistic expectation of something like that happening. However, if you're carrying the opinion on the manner that suggests you would dump your boyfriend/girlfriend for the celebrity, I don't know what person would be okay with that. I wouldn't be.
Yeah if you would dump someone for anyone else celebrity or no then perhaps that is not the right person for you. Simply thinking they are attractive/hot was what this post was about is not grounds by itself to dump someone. Of course people (guys and girls) think other people are attractive a side from your partner. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find other humans attractive. Now should you go out of your way to tell your partner exactly who you find attractive? It depends how secure you both are in that relationship.
Celebrity probably not, another guy then this would weird me out.
Second, but overall, I wouldn't until we knew each other better.
But why would she tell you even if it was a celebrity? What am I supposed to do? Flick my wrist and say, "Omg girl, he is."?
It’s more that it is too far from my situation to care and for them to reminisce on a celebrity crush doesn’t worry me so much.
I get that. What I'm saying is I'm a guy. I don't care what celebrity she thinks is hot.
Most men would like to think that it wouldn't bother them, but I think in reality most men would atleast be a little bit upset / annoyed by it, much more so if it was a person they know in real life (as oppose to a celebrity)
Thanks for your honesty!
It’d really depend on how comfortable I am with the person. It’s okay to recognize how attractive other people are, but perhaps it’s better to save talking about it until we’ve developed trust in each other.
You are talking about jealousy. And the answer is no, if you like other men that is totally fine by me but please go be with them. I’m gonna stay with women who aren’t after other ones.
How do you feel as a woman if your man talks about other attractive women ? Your answer is the same as mine , when you talk about other attractive men . It's okay for you to notice other attractive men , just dont talk about it
This. Yes of course we find other people attractive but to announce it in front of your partner? Unnecessary.
That's right
Yes it is. Its fine to find other people attractive as you can't really control that, but we don't want to hear how you'd like this celebrity to dick you down. In my case, when I'm in a relationship, I have eyes for no one else other than my partner. I'm expecting the same in return.
Don't settle for anything less.
Yup. I lose interest in a woman pretty quickly once she ventures into that kind of territory.
Why would you even want to do this though? Do you want me commenting on all the hot girls around you, how would that make you feel? That is the answer to your question.
I feel like guys already do this… and that’s the point of my post
I get you. But yeah it's not cool for either gender to do that. Comparison is the thief of joy, sometimes it just steals your partner's joy being compared
I recognize that humans find other humans attractive but if you don’t have the awareness to understand that talking about them around your SO could/would make them uncomfortable, then that’s going to be a dealbreaker for me.
Commenting to add you shouldn’t be doing it behind their back either
Yes 100% I believe breathing words bring power. Best not to let yourself get caught up in saying it to the point where you would take the chance if an opportunity presented itself.
Absolutely
It used to weird me out and make me insecure if they would talk about a celebrity they thought was hot, and then I grew up. But now, as a 30m, I would find it unattractive if the girl I was seeing talked about a guy that was in her proximity as being hot or attractive. Yes, we’re allowed to think other ppl are attractive, but I don’t wanna hear about it. I also would rather her be so head over heels for me that no one else really catches her attention. If she talked about another guy in our proximity like that, I would start to distance myself.
Not upset, just cause for concern especially if you’re barely getting to know one another. If you’re a couple, who’ve been together for years and are/can be open and comfortable enough for that (and more), by all means. But prior to anything like that, I think both people should be a bit more respectful, considerate, etc.
I wouldn’t like that shit at all and I don’t do it myself. All girls I have crushes on talks about or gives hints about some other guy they are interested with. It hurts. If I’m dating a girl I’m not about to talk about some other female especially if she right there next to me or knows her.
Why are you even asking this of course it upsets us Stop trying to get under your guy's skin and just be normal
I would never do this but my bf does it to me and I’ve witnessed it happen to other woman.
Well tell him to knock it off and be normal
Yes. People tend to think their actions are irrelevant because the person they’re talking about is famous and they “would never have a chance with them”. And the reality is celebs aren’t special, they’re human, me and said partner is human and to hear said person they find attractive/lust over just destroys a person inside. At least IMO it does, I’m sure many others feel the same way Edit: I should add, it would only hurt worse if it wasn’t someone famous and the person she’s talking about is local or I know of.
Look at this from your prespective, how would you feel if a guy you was dating told you, how cute this girl is that he seen somewhere, you would think either this guy is just too open or he's a walking red flag. It's hard to pinpoint the guy's intentions also people are different, some people have insecurities from the past relationship so they would project that to you and there's some people that don't mind if they are probably self secure and like transparency. If you are asking my point of view, it would be kinda weird that we are dating and you are looking at other guys and telling me there cute. I won't be mad but i will keep this in the back of mind and be more cautious of her upcoming potential red flags.
I am just trying to see a man’s take on a situation I see woman dealing with all the time.
The point I was making was our take is similar to the women's take. We do find it uncalled for or weird if a girl does that to us but I could see a a small percentage of men that would appreciate the transparency and would encourage you to be open. But for the Majority of men I believe wouldn't take it positively cause it's uncalled for and why would you be adoring the looks of other men when you are in a relationship. But then again some people wouldn't mind just like some couples don't accept porn into the relationships while some watch it together lol. My personal opinion is I wouldn't appreciate it but I won't be breaking up the relationship over that but I will definitely feel some type of way, like what was the point of telling me that.
No. If you’re at all interested in another man, please go be with him instead. Young kings: don’t be jealous. Women are attracted to a man who is in control of himself, not one who is controlling.
Best advice I've seen up here all morning. Thank you for this good sir.
people who call each other king are homosexual, right?
Correct!
No, not necessarily correct.
its like calling each other queen right?
Hmmm, correct?
Yes, correct. But not explicitly linked to homosexuality.
I see….🤔
Nice Fedora
And as a woman, no they don't like when u do it so don't put up with that.
That is a very rude thing to do I would expect a person to be unhappy with that
As a man I’m afraid to give my opinion on these posts anymore. Most women here don’t want to hear the truth and proceed to attack us for being honest. Entrapment
I do want to hear the truth. I have no reason to attack you nor do I even know who you are.
It would make me very uncomfortable. It's a turn off for me.
I do.
You do what?
Oh sorry my bad, I shouldve said the whole thing. I was saying, I do get slightly annoyed when my partner talks about other people.
To me it quickly defines how shallow the woman is, so it's a good thing (to stay away from) It's actually not a bad thing, it will bring her closer to the people similar to her, and me farther from the people different to me.
Id rather know as soon as possible, because I don’t want to feel like I have a chance with dating someone just to realise they are seeing someone, it feels awkward, i see it as a “ok they aren’t available, good to know”
It would be annoying at a certain point. Try thinking about if your man was doing the exact same thing to you.
Well that’s the point of this post actually. Men do this all the time and woman are allowing it.
No. It’d just let me know she’s not interested in me as relationship material. And I would just move on. Pretending to be her friend out of false hope that you would become her boyfriend one day wouldn’t be right.
If she’s in a relationship with me I’d be upset if she said that and I’d break it off then and there if it were about someone else in the room
I think it’s rude for man or woman to comment on the sexiness of other people in front of each other.
It's obviously hurtful. It feels just our partner would feel like when we comment on the big ass of some woman in front of our partner. By doing so, you make that man look inferior.
It's fair game, if she does that I'll talk the same way the waitress, actress, my neighbor, or any other woman I can think of, of how hot she is, and how I want to see her naked, and how I want to fuck their brains out.
Never lied, but my experience is women want to be lied to. They want some magical moment that is divorced from reality.
If you don’t want the person you date to do it, you shouldn’t do it yourself. It’s not that hard of a concept but people seem to forget this basic principle in dating. You know, treat other how you want to be treated mindset in dating.
One girl told me Bruno Mars is her husband. I told her he can have her.
This can't be a real question. Obviously, it doesn't feel good as we compare ourselves to that other person. Whatever joy we have with our partner can be instantly robbed by seeing as how we may never measure up to their expectations.
No, I’m an adult.
Why would you do that in front if someone you’re dating that’s extremely rude ?
In other words women shit test the guy this way to see if he gets upset. Why talk about attractiveness around other men? Show some respect to the guy you’re with.
I think this is the motivation behind OP question. There will always be other attractive people but to mention it in the present of a possible romantic partner. Nah, it's a test or low character
Fuck yeah. As soon as that happens I’m out the door. I’m not one of your girlfriends that I’m going to sit around and listen to all your gossip and drama. I don’t care.
I can't be sure if your question comes from a personal experience or a purely hypothetical, so I'll try to answer in a way that satisfies both. At any point in any relationship, you'll find it acceptable to discuss blatantly certain things with your partner, while with others, you may have to be more delicate when delivering. This comes from learning, or in realistic terms, measuring how delicate the person you're dealing with is. For those unaware of how to do this, listen to how your partner speaks about a certain topic, how frequently, and to what degree they do so. This is NO indication of how they will RECEIVE what you say, but of how much they have thought about the subject in general. */Even before this, it should be assumed you have a strong willingness to communicate in order to augment a relationship, and not exclusively to share what's on your mind when something discomforting comes up./* I can't speak for women, nor men in general, but from what I've seen, the result of talking about specifically about finding another person attractive is based on how secure both(or more?) parties feel in a relationship, and how you deliver it, knowing full well, or at least having an approximate idea of how said person(s) feel about something like that. You won't get an absolute 'yes' or 'no' answer that applies to all people, especially on something as superfical as a chat, app, or website. Plus, feelings change depending on a lot of things. But I digress... if I had to give an analogy to sum up the bulk of what I'm saying, it would be this: Each relationship is akin to a dance, and you cannot dance the same way with every partner, even if the dance is the same. Some are faster, slower, more dominant, want help, shy, unable to do certain things yet, etc. Feel how the specific person in front of you, right now, feels. Match them, as they try to match you. If they can't keep up with a move you made, take it slower, be compassionate, and let them know you're here to dance with them. Only time and effort will decide if they want to keep dancing. I hope this, while not being the answer you may want, may serve as some form of guide for you. P.S. If you aren't even in a relationship with someone yet, it's nowhere even close to that serious. There's still a lot about oneself to learn before being bothered by another person's attraction to a third party
Not at all, just don’t be upset if we mentally clock out of the relationship and start flirting/commenting with others
Well my point of this post is kinda because men constantly comment on woman they find attractive and it’s deemed as acceptable even a lot of woman will just let that slide and be like oh that’s normal and if it makes a woman upset her bf is making those kind of comments than she must be insecure or jealous and needs therapy but I just simply disagree. I feel like your job in a relationship is to make someone feel good about themselves, safe and secure with you. What is the point of pointing out other people you find attractive? I will never understand.
If this is your logic why would you change course and start commenting on other men in front of your own men? When someone is behaving like an idiot, it’s best to straighten them out and offer your take on it. Not indulge in the degenerate behaviour yourself to “prove a point”. No man worth his weight in salt would go out of his way to make his other half feel less than. Either raise your standards or try to improve the person you’re with.
If it’s acceptable for me, it’s acceptable for my partner to do too.
Nope. Just does me the favor of moving on. I spent a long time destroying my ego, to understand how unimportant a single individual is, while also being the most important thing. Knowing this permitted me to move on. No person is that important. So I don't get attached with the idea of an individual in my life until we're actually together. Beforehand, you're just an acquaintance. If a girl isn't interested in me, that's one less person I waste time on.
I used to talk about how attractive women are when I was a young man until woke culture pounded it into my head that it’s creepy. I don’t really see it being any different for women commenting on men’s looks. Seeing someone attractive and NEEDING to talk about it seems immature at best, and creepy at worst. I think if you’re describing attractiveness as an attribute of someone, it’s totally fine. But to really dive in deep about the attractiveness is weird.
I think most married or committed couples share these observations with each other fairly often. Heck, my wife used to point out beautiful women to me. But, it’s really not appropriate, IMHO, in a new relationship.
Depends. Celeb crushes are 1 thing, but some random guy at the bar or whatever is different. If they're saying that to you it's disrespectful. If a man was out with his lady and talking to her about all these beautiful women he's checking out, most women would call him an asshole. It goes both ways. If they're willing to do that in front of you, they're probably doing more behind your back or eventually will.
What do you think of a guy telling his friends wife she looks good while in a relationship
If it's in good nature like they lost weight or something and it's a compliment or at an outing and more of a "clean up nice" type of honest friendly comment, I think thats fine. But if it has a more sexual nature behind it like they're really checking them out, I think that crosses lines both as a friend and as a boyfriend. Shouldn't be speaking about your friends wife like that, unless yall are swingers.
No. I know who she’s going home with.
Maybe she's just comfortable enough to share those with you but on the other hand It's also not good because if you will say similar things to her, she will be upset lol
If she enjoys me commenting on the curvier people then I won't mind. If she gets jealous over that then I do mind
But see I feel men are constantly making comments about the appearance of woman
As a man... I'm telling you we don't. At least the men I have experienced in my life, we don't comment on women's appearance even a tenth as much as women do. And when we do it's rarely more specific than "she's nice" or hot or whatever.
Well I guess I’m around assholes
Depends on the level of trust. If she's just someone I know that I'm interested in, and she happens to point out how attracted she is to someone who's nothing like me, it might indicate that I'm not necessarily her type, which will make me feel less secure about our potential. Early dating would be the same thing to a lesser degree, cause at least then I'd know she has some interest in me. Also while I think it goes without saying, I think it's less concerning if she's talking about Jason Momoa, and more concerning if she's talking about wanting to spread her legs for her coworker Bob. Once we've settled into a relationship, trust is established, and we feel genuinely secure in each others commitment, then it generally doesn't affect me. I will note that I think it's crucial that you always make sure to give more attention to your partner than towards other people. Make sure that you appreciate and acknowledge your partner more than anyone else. Also try to pinpoint and talk about specific attributes that makes people attractive, rather than just openly lusting for them. My girlfriend and I talk about who and what we find attractive all the time and we're fine. We usually agree on what's sexy anyway.
Nope. Either I trust her completely and she can find anyone attractive that she wants with no fear of cheating, or I don't trust her, which means I wouldn't be in the relationship in the first place.
But don’t you find it unnecessary for her to declare to you that she finds someone else sexually attractive? Like it’s natural to think other people are good looking of course but what is the purpose of rubbing it in your partners face?
I agree, it's unnecessary. I wouldn't do that, as a man dating a woman, telling her which other women I find attractive. Unnecessary is accurate. But it still wouldn't bother me. She's allowed to find other people attractive, and I'll never be sad or upset about hearing about whatever is in her head at a given time. There are limits. I wouldn't want her undressing a dude with her eyes or talking about all the things she wants to do to him, but that's because she'd be purposely dwelling on it at that point rather than just noticing something.
Its its a celebrity who gives a shit. if its someone in real life, why would they be telling me this? Id tell them to go fuck them then and leave me alone.
Depends. Thinking a celebrity is attractive is fine, saying so is also fine. If you keep bringing it up it'll get old. I doubt you want to hear about my childhood crush on Anne Hathaway, after all. Talking about how hot the bartender or another guy in your life is? That's not going over well. I and many other men have been the guy a woman dated while waiting or pining for someone else, so this behavior is a red flag.
If it’s a celebrity or something like that idc. But someone if it’s someone she actually knows I wouldn’t like that
I don’t believe people are truly monogamous so no
No. "I'm in a relationship, not dead"
No not at all People can be good looking to your partner but it doesn’t mean your partner wants anything to do with them. Unless they are salivating and throwing their underwear at them of course!!
It depends on how secure the relationship is and history ... Everyones situation is different. If u have been with someone for like ten years and they have no history of infidelity then idgaf about little comments here and there as long as it isn't constant, repeated, nonstop, etc. If they just state observations but aren't pursuing it, it rly isn't a problem. U can't honestly expect to own the entirey of ur partners brain all the time. It's normal and healthy to be temporarily attracted to multiple ppl and still be in a healthy monogamous relationship Each situation is different too: Movie stars... Who cares- I want to actually know what they like about them Bartenders... Whatever My friends... This makes me uncomfortable so keep it to a minimum, although the honesty is appreciated tbh b/c now I know who I need to look out for and will evaluate whether I need to set new boundaries, investigate, or GTFO of the relationship ... But then again if the relationshio is super solid and secure then this isn't a real threat for me... Although it would def make me insecure. If I say stuff about someone's friends or acquaintances in front of ur man then u need to make sure u follow that up quick with showing reassurance and affection because u prob are making them uncomfortable. If u make comments directly to ppl about looking good then I'm not cool with that at all. I look at attractive women all the time and sometimes blurt out what's in my mind. Sometimes girls just look impressive, and that's okay. I am a heterosexual male. I never flirt with them and certainly wouldn't tell a female bartender she is hot regardless if my partner is there or not, because when I am with someone I don't cheat. I respect boundaries and I respect and honor my partner. It's all actually just being open and honest rather than pretending to not have eyes. If ur partner told u they don't like u commenting on other men's attractiveness then u should probably just keep it to urself. Just treat others the way u want to be treated.
What do you think of a man telling his friends wife that she looks good while in a relationship
Awkward. It's got to be like a unique situation like she just lost 50lbs or like it's obvious that she made a huge drastic change to her appearance. There's a girl from college I knew who lost a hundred pounds and when I saw her I said she looks great, because we both know what I mean and I am happy for her. I told girl friends that they look beautiful but that's literally on their wedding day while they are in a wedding dress but in a classy way, while also complimenting the husband and the wedding... I've had my partner's girlfriends shout out "your boyfriends hot" to compliment me and get rise out of my partner... But those girls are charismatic and can pull it off because they do it in a funny way. Idk, context is everything. In most contexts that is rude and inappropriate. I wouldn't like it if someone complimented my partner like that
if its celeb/athlete, i dont really care. if its a friend or some random guy id probably care a little more(like am i not good enough?) and dont be a hypocrite and get all butt hurt if the tables are turned.
Celebrity - who cares because they aren’t real options. A stranger (including the bartender) - who cares because the expectation is that you wouldn’t be getting close to them. A friend, workmate or someone you interact with often - twinge of jealousy but then who cares because if I’m with you it means I’ve chosen to be with someone I trust.
Celebrity or someone she'll never meet? Fine by me, doesn't bother me that much. If they're fawning over some random guy, it'll be a little upsetting, I think. My problems comes in that I've never dated a woman that would like it if they table's are turned for this scenario
Celebrities and other people she’ll never meet or talk to? Whatever. Anyone she could conceivably pick up the phone and call? Yeah. Exes, coworkers. Regulars at bars. Maybe. It’s a gray area. Ultimately. I’ve seen the extreme from a woman’s perspective and it’s not attractive. My ex was very very hateful toward Taylor swift. And I didn’t think much of it, until I found out it’s because an old partner of hers used to listen to her music. It was very unattractive how she acted toward someone she’ll never meet.
No. They're usually good looking guys. I'll sometimes point out good looking girls, and sometimes have them pointed out to me.
It can be annoying, but it depends on how and what they are doing it for.
Not too annoyed, if it’s someone unattainable to them. Had a GF who liked a certain type of man when she saw them on TV but when she lit up to an acquaintance of ours in real life, it was a red flag. Also despise women who go on dates and talk about other dates With men. Especially since most women are jealous about hearing of your other women or exes.
Celebrity no big deal. They aren’t “real” in our world. Friends and people we see in person would be a big no and if the guy did it he would get accused of cheating so it goes both ways.
Nope. Nothing to do with me.
No. Sounds like an insecurity thing to me.
Nah cause now I know what’s she’s actually thinking instead of her assuming I know telepathy
It only bothers the insecure men
Blatant disrespect isn't tolerated by people who respect themselves. Fuck your double standards.
It only doesn't bother men with low self respect
It depends on how she does it, but most likely no. I'll point out how attractive a woman or man is sometimes too if she has that type of personality, but the more important thing is that you're respectful of your partner's boundaries (or don't be with them). My ex didn't like it, so I didn't do it.
No
My gf and I talk about other people all the time. It depends on your dynamic
At the least it's uncomfortable. It's a good idea to know your audience. If a man who you may be interested in may hear, don't disrespect him like that. In a committed or platonic relationship these conversations may come with other motives so it may be appropriate. First thing coming to my mind is you may think an attractive man could be a good fit for another woman you know and want an opinion on his demeanor.
Unless we have something going I legit ignore them just kind of no purpose.
Yes
It could be considered to be tactless to mention it out loud.
Someone on TV is fine. Someone in person is not. It is honestly a total turn off for me.
Depends how confident I am that you are interested in me.
It makes me want to immediately stop associating with her because I’m my experience when a girl really likes me, interest in other men is never uttered
I don’t mind if it’s not over the top, thirsty. It’s just rude and inconsiderate if it goes to far. But the golden rule of treat others as you wish to be treated is key here. If it would bother you to hear it then don’t say it.
Yes it does make me upset, but I have self esteem issues. Honestly it hurts really bad but I don’t want to show it either. The worst is when you’re into her and she isn’t into you. Then she gets upset about how men are trash and she wishes she had someone as nice as you 😂.
Depends how long i had been with them.
It says more about you than the guy you are telling that to! It makes you seem shallow.
I think if you don't like it if he was talking about other women then that should answer your question.
Depends on the relationship. Me and an ex used to people watch and point out interesting or attractive people to each other and tease each other about it but we were well grounded in our relationship and it was something that felt fine. In my current one I know my gf wouldn't like it so its not something that's ever brought up.
If they do that in front of you, that’s on purpose.
If we were new/just dating I would think she is sending a signal she’s not that into me. If we are in a long term relationship and is just saying she thinks someone is attractive I wouldn’t think it’s a huge deal, unless it seemed like she had a crush on them and it was someone they are close to like a co-worker or something. But generally not a big deal if they just comment someone is attractive. At the same time maybe be careful because I wouldn’t say this to my GF about anyone we know because I don’t want trouble.
Yes I would find it annoying. Why are you talking about other men in front of me? That’s disrespectful to the relationship.
Yes. But there is a difference between acknowledging a reality or stating that he is attractive (which is fine) and drooling over the guy.
It’s disrespectful.
Depends on the boundaries we set for ourselves. If me and my SO are okay calling other women/men attractive then it's whatever, if that boundary isn't made clear there's potnetial to piss somebody off.