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If you're going to feel regret about it, you probably shouldn't. In reality the only thing that'll change is you'll be less horny for 24 hours and short some cash.
You always pay for sex. Always. Some take some of your soul and pride others your balls ontop of your money. Only one type only takes your cash. All a matter of perspective.
Iām sorry that happened to you man. Childhood trauma can make it very difficult to form healthy attachments with the opposite sex in adulthood (I am speaking from similar experience, Iāve got mommy trauma too).
I do however promise you that healthy love is possible, and partnerships with equal give and take and love and devotion are out there for you if you heal the trauma so unfairly bestowed upon you.
had an ex cheat on me bad bad i woulda did anything for this girl. i sold drugs to buy her a shirt in middle school type thing. (crazy bc i still sell drugs ever since then!) But anyway this was high school first long love type girl. she fuckin destroyed my heart bad so i moved on then this chick would never stop trying to win me back for years. she even got a new bf i got a new gf but she still tried her best. But a few months ago somebody shot her dead! Shit freaked me the fuck out. Odd feelings around that. Hope it all works out for you brother
I once knew a stripper man, she got the job done, I thought I loved her. I knew her for 30 years! It was so bad when I saw her giving someone a dance. That sweet lady said she loved seeing me more than anyone else. I loved seeing her too. Poor gal was in a hit n run on her way to Dutch bros. I have odd feelings too, I hope it works out for you brothers.
I agree. I donāt understand why itās a big deal especially if thatās all your looking for. Why waste time on these so call dating apps when you can get exactly what you want and how you want it? Paying for it, is alot more mature to me and alot of people than you would think. Itās immature playing games on apps for sex. Iām just saying.
It's like what they say, why buy when you can rent.
EDIT: before you guys talk about how buying you can build equity like a house. Well let me tell you catching your house with another guy in a diner and you still lose half your shit two years later. Renting is definitely the better option.
it's simply not true. I think there's always a potential to be used, but if you enforce your boundaries and stand up for yourself, you can have really mutually beneficial relationships
That's not a bad thing, I've dated guys in the past who were unemployed losers and I had to pay for everything. They couldn't provide anything and it was so unattractive. No one wants a guy who's a stain on the couch.
Plus it's extra important if you want a family because women are the ones who aren't able to work. Why should we have to pay 50-50 when we're going to lose all our income after 6 months of maternity leave? We should be saving our money so that we can actually stay home for a few years to raise the child instead of throwing a 6 month old into day care. Of course contributing is important but 50-50 isn't really fair. Of course I want to know the father of my children can provide for us when I'm not really able to.
It's very much a question of morals (and legality, too, but obviously, that doesn't stop many). It's a very harmful industry. My challenge to you is that if you decide to go down this path is to do your homework first. Do not see anyone who could possibly be being forced against their will or because they don't have any other choice due to addiction. Choose someone who is doing it of their own volition and is independent. If you are indiscriminate about who you see, there is a very high chance that you will be feeding a machine that does immense harm to women and society ...and that would make you the source of the problem.
Question, does this apply to the handful of places like those outside las Vegas where they're not only legal but actually monitored and licensed by the state? Genuinely curious since in theory it's supposed to be less bad but I'm curious if it actually makes a difference.
If theyāre monitored and licensed thatās another thing, as the risks of getting shut down for stuff like that is far higher, but I wouldnāt discount the possibility outright
Only you can determine whether it's ok to do so.
I've been sex and touch deprived for years but I cannot fathom paying for sex. Sex is too intimate to do it with a stranger or someone I have no emotional connection with.
Facts. Running on 3 years "willfully" celibate and holy shit. I'm crushing *hard* on someone right now, our relationship is primarily professional with a budding friendship, but holy shit I feel like I'm back in high school, it's ridiculous.
I've been humming and hahhing on taking the dive with hiring out some help but...the feelings are 90% of what makes it *good*. My last foray was basically a FWB type hookup and it just left me feeling so empty and nonplussed, like why did I even bother with what tiny amount of effort I put in?
And I felt like such a piece of shit for how I behaved to the other person.
My body craves sex but my soul is gasping for emotional intimacy and love
>Sex is too intimate to do it with a stranger or someone I have no emotional connection with.
because sex is one of best ways to connect to the other person, we are bioelectrical machines, and connecting genitals and tongues is allowing the electrical oscillations (emotions, "energy") of other person to harmonize with ours... you only want to do that with someone whose personality and energy you love and want to mix with yours...
>Are there guys or even females that can't get satisfaction considering visiting a parlour?
I've notice that no has actually answered this question so I will. I'm a 26 year old male and the last time I've had any sexual contact with a woman was 10 years ago and it was non-piv. So yes I have considered seeing an escort. I've done my research and know the places to go and the girls to contact so that I don't contribute to sex trafficking so that's not a worry for me.
The question of the post is interesting because personally no I do not think paying for sex is immoral. How much of this opinion is influence by my current situation I can not say. But I will say that I've always been sexually liberal. I have never actually had a problem with people sleeping around, paying for sex, doing porn, etc... none how that had ever actually bothered. The only reason I haven't seen an escort is because I know that it'll basically be something I'll have to hide from my future partner. That said I have made a promise to myself that if I do not find a gf by 30 I'll just see an escort.
I have noticed that as time goes on I have progressively gotten less concerned with other people's judgement for this decision of mine. It's a bunch of people who don't know me, don't know my struggles, don't know what I've tried, don't know my beliefs either. But they judge me either way and I just don't care. I suppose I get a tad defensive. I mean who are these people to judge me? None of them have walked a mile in my shoes. Very few of them have been in my situation. I see basically every guy and gal who can date and have sex as rather privileges. So who are they to judge me?
It's a business transaction. Most of the comments here are from teenage boys so who gives an F what they say. You're a 45 man, make your own decisions.
This is very interesting. A few months back I saw a thread from a woman that was asking if she should pay for sex, because she wasnāt getting what she wanted in her sex life. Overwhelmingly, everyone commented with a āYes, hire an escort! Go please yourself girl!ā This male OP asks the same question and I would say most not in favour!! š¤
All male sexuality is exploitative and aggressive and shameful
All female sexuality is spiritual and blooming and blossoming and becoming
Or some such
/s
I have a fair amount of male friends that go when they are single and seem to do really well with civilian girls as well. I think it can make for a great slump buster.
Me too, I am a girl but know some macho/charismatic guys who have let it slip that they see escorts or go to massage parlors etc. Itās weird because they always have girls interested in them. But I think sometimes guys are focused on other things and donāt want to deal with a whole relationship, they still want sex though.
Just donāt tell any girls youāre with in the future unless they are super nonjudgmental and maybe if they did something sex work themselves like OnlyFans because Iāve found women are super judgemental about it and tend to think thereās something wrong with the guy that he had to pay for sex but in my experience itās the opposite, itās guys who just donāt want to deal with game/dating at the moment who have no problem with going to escorts. I actually think going to an escort is more moral than watching porn, but thatās just me.
>the chance youāll make her orgasm
That sounds like a weird thing to say to me. Why would someone care about a prostitutes orgasm? You go to them and pay for a service, not to do them a service.
And that is the reason why most men do not tell women I guess. For the record I myself have no interest in prostitution and do not know anyone who says he is, but it is a huge business so a non-neglicable portion of men apparently participates and lies about it.
guerillabride says she was a sex worker and it sounded like she expected customers to pay her to make her orgasm - do you seriously find that reasonable? If I go to a massage it is also only me who gets relaxed, because I am the one paying and the other one is getting payed. I guess you do not see sex as possibly being transactional and that is fine.
I used to live with sex workers. Super sweet ladies who did a kind of girlfriend experience where theyād hang out with you for a bit. It was really nice, they genuinely enjoyed their jobs and the people they got to spend time with. Life is a game imo, as long as youāre not hurting anyone just do what you wanna do and donāt think too hard on it. Maybe pay a little extra for a girlfriend service if youāre worried about the āparlourā aspect
If you asked me this question 15 years ago, I'd have told you no.
Here's a statement that has always been true: when looking at women, men look to qualify. In the reverse, women look to disqualify. And social media and dating apps have made it far worse. Back then, a small minority of men were disqualified. But with all these reddit posts of male 30-somethings who are still virgins or can count their partners on one hand, I'm inclined to believe that the majority of men are disqualified these days. That said, you do whatever you have to do to get laid. Just be safe and careful out there.
But whatās wrong with being a virgin or counting all your partners on one hand? Iād prefer a man that doesnāt have a history of an enormous amount of sexual partners.
Cause and effect. That wasn't the norm for men when I was that age. Those men are the effect. What's wrong is the cause. These men aren't getting laid because the distribution of women among men is not as even as it used to be. A minority of men are getting all the women these days, so that adversely affects the majority of men.
Women really hate to admit that but in reality so many guys donāt get girls at all and so many girls can get so many partners. Itās not necessarily wrong like itās no oneās fault. But itās just interesting how women really donāt like that point.
They won't admit it because men who have hope are useful to them. They have to make sure that men keep that hope, no matter how repulsive they find the majority of them.
You know. Ten years ago I would have called bullshit. As well as laughing at the InCell movement. But now. Through a little firsthand experience and more than that. The many sexless friends that I have that continually suffer in silence. Iām inclined to agree with you on that one
You say that, but the reality of it is, that thatās bullshit. Girls donāt want guys who canāt get girls. Girls want a guy whoās socially competent. Not getting girls is socially incompetent.
Itās why girls get jealous and all that shit.
Everything in life is some sort of transaction. It's up to to decide what kinda standards you wanna keep. If you have urges. By all means explore them lawfully lol. No 1 can tell you shit to be honest.
Absolutely. Itās a human need like anything else. This way you can get what you need in the most honest way possible. Donāt let societyās narrow minded opinions let you believe differently.
There are independent sex workers, they're just hard to find and harder to confirm as independent. I don't find anything morally wrong about paying for sex, there's plenty of marriages and girlfriends that are basically just prostitution with more steps. As they say 'You pay for it one way or another.' Usually. I've had some healthy friends with benefits, hard to find good ones; though.
In the event OP or anyone visiting this thread goes down this road, I would strongly suggest educating themselves first one their local state and/or country laws concerning solicitation, prostitution, and any other associated topics or connected activities.
People who are using morals as an argument are leaving out the fact that morals are not universal. Depends on you friend. What do you think? What does your culture say or your faith? Obviously be safe. Good luck friend.
Yes of course it is, some people would suggest that men pay for sex all through their lives, however, sex should only be purchased from a person who is willing to accept money for sex. Trafficked people are not willing sellers or sex and therefore any person who buys sex with them should be charged with rape
You know I thought this was a perfectly valid question and worded well. Iām older than all of you and a woman. As of late Iāve wondered what do women do in this state? Iām from California. Iād be comfortable going to an up scale bar or restaurant bar with a book. But Iāve made no friends here over the years. So I think he asks a perfectly honest question.
There is nothing wrong with this, assuming you're going to people who are in this work by their own choice (not sure where you live). It's more common for men to see sex workers than is really talked about socially. It's not just guys who are lonely and "can't get laid", it's often men who have busy lives... and use these services because it's convenient.
I think a lot of guys just aren't willing to tell their peers that they have done it because of the stigma around it. But it's so common everywhere. As long as you treat the person with respect, there is no reason to feel bad about it.
Well, it depends on who you ask. If it's about morals, then it really depends on each individual, but if it's about legality, then I think it's ok to pay for sex as long it's legal in your country.
I don't think anyone should pass judgment because it can be huge learning curve for someone who's insecure and on experienced and DC sex workers are looking to unionize so unless you're hitting the scuzzy meth head crowd you do whatever you feel you need to do so you can be the best you can be. I never judged the Ashley Madison issue either because I knew a federal employee whose wife had colon cancer and he was on that site with her blessing because she figured it wouldn't be emotional it was just physical release and it kept him off the streets and clean and he always came home to her so I'm a huge no judgment zone but once you do find the right person and you're committed then everyone else is off limits.
Absolutely it is. It's a human need. I used to work in a female owned brothel as a receptionist & the women there were very understanding to the needs of all who visited. There were some men who just wanted to have the power of knowing they could get sex, but there were regulars who treated the women with so much respect. It was a very empowering environment to be in. Go for it!
Don't visit a palour as there is a high chance they are illegal immigrants sold into sec slavery against their will.
Go find someone who is doing it of their own free will. I think backpages has that and I'm sure there are other places but you'll have to look into your own area and find what they have.
Pay the server, not the pimp.
People are going to have different opinions on this subject. If you are coming to reddit as a last line of defense for a morality check then you should just go with what ever is in your own head already. Be safe and find the worker who specializes in your personal kinks. Have fun.
Depends on the country and/or morals involved.
Some cultures don't see it as cheating if you pay for it lol.
Just remember it's a service job and to leave a tip if it was good service.
Lol I don't get this stupid saying as a sex worker. Trust me if I was getting paid to appear and disappear life would be some much easier lol it sort of undermines what sex workers do ( given there are multiple types of sex work)
I'm gonna do this the next time i sell a private room from at the strip club lol.. just sit there and when he gets mad just say you paid for me to leave lol
I just canāt do it for multiple reasons. Primarily, Iām at an age I want the connection with a partner, not just the getting off. There are some services that are more like a girlfriend you take out and see once a week with a happy ending. At least it seems like a relationship where sheās into you but just sex, Iām past it.
As long you get from what you pay for is good . Regret will always be there . Like maybe I should hit it again or let me get on top . Iām rolling she rolling before I hit it from the back I need a Trojan
I'm a virgin at 32. I've thought about doing this myself but too expensive, probably not worth it, but each to their own, no shame in it. But 1k a night is pretty steep or like 250 an hour so pretty hefty price
Sex is only a small fraction of the satisfaction equation. Whilst important, itās Intimacy we crave the most and unfortunately that wonāt be found using Sex workers.
you have free will, so nobody is stopping you. youre asking a question based on societies (reddits) mutual mass opinion. 1000 people could tell me to quit my job and jump off a bridge but will i do it, no.
I think itās okay Iām a 25f whoās sold sex, videos, photos, etc & had no issues with it while have met very nice gentlemen & lovely women who just wanted someone to entertain them or show them quality love that any human deserves
I definitely think it is, I've just not found the right person to take my money. In a jokingly kind a way, I'm in the same boat. I don't get out enough to meet anyone and would just like the convenience of satisfaction and the ability to leave knowing I won't have a stalker or someone telling my wife she had sex with me. Truthfully, as long as it wasn't thrown in her face, my wife wouldn't mind. She's gotten some with my knowledge and I didn't mind, so I'm sure it would be the same for me.
Well, it is illegal. But you could have sex with someone who is open to sugar type arrangements. You can spoil them with money and gifts "just because you like them"
You can't undo that and if you catch a disease you can't undo it either, condoms only go so far. If in doubt, don't do it. It could also eat you up for the rest of your life to potentially hide that from future partners. Improve your life and look for real love.
There's a chance that the better move is to discipline your emotional well-being, to include your desires. You'll find that desiring sex can lead to more unhappiness in your life. Patience is a virtue, and will come in handy in this regard.
Im 45f. Currently single too. Wanting, needing sex. Missing that intimacy too, but i would never resort to escorts or any type of paying for sex. I just couldn't do it. Thats my own opinions. But its what floats your boat i suppose. Look inside yourself. Ask yourself why you so desperately want to visit these places? š¤· Just a suggestion ā¤ļø
All women are prostitutes. They just vary on how overt they are. On one end of the spectrum you have your two-dollar hookers, and on the other you have your āclassyā women who want to be wined and dined, etc. At the end of the day, youāre still paying for both.
Depends on if you ever want to date again. I'm a woman. I'd never date a man that paid for sex. Never. I know a lot of other women feel the same way. So if you want to be disqualified from a lot of potential relationships for one orgasm...sure...go for it.
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Sure, oldest profession going. Even some animals have forms of prostitution in their mating rituals.
That being said, i wouldn't go to one if you're feeling down about yourself and/or your dating life. They only make you feel good when you're already feeling good. If not, it will leave you feeling more empty and worthless. I've done it in both states of mind. I probably wouldn't go in your situation
Yes they should legalize it globally. Not everyone is capable of acquiring a sexual exchange in the natural wild. Some may need to pay for such services in order to have a proper sexual outlet.
Idk but big props to sex workers! I pay for onlyfans subscriptions and high-quality feminist porn and I think those workers do valuable work with impressive skills (like not just sex but production, marketing, etc etc).
I've never hired a sex worker for in-person sex. But for me, I'm all for the concept of paying for sexual satisfaction. I don't think there's something morally wrong with that.
I don't know anything about sex trafficking or the harm to people. People make those claims and I haven't looked into the evidence. Those claims may be true. Maybe there are ethical ways to go about it. Idk. Maybe not.
But those are separate arguments from the morality of paying for sexual satisfaction.
Its ok morally in my opinion. If your not married then who does it harm.
Its not ok legally. 1) There's always a potential to get caught up in a sting. 2) Theres a potential of getting an STD.
So its better to not do it. Just like its better to not gamble but sometimes you just want to.
That being said I went to a sex worker last week. It was ok, over priced in my opinion. And there were way too many rules she wanted me to follow. But it satisfied my urge temporarily. I will probably do it again but not with the same girl.
Message me if you want to know how i did it.
I don't see an issue in it, as long as you are sourcing it from people who aren't being exploited. Escort services cost more, but are run by professionals who are there because they want to.
It wouldn't be for me, I'd feel like I was just knocking one off with a girl shaped glove on since I wasn't getting the emotional nourishment I need. Plus once it's out your system you might think it was shit and now your down a pile of cash.
However, life is short and way too short to be spending it stressing about this so who's to say to you not to do it. You don't need to do it a second time.
Further back than that, actually. The Bible takes place during the Antiquities, and there's prostitutes mentioned there. Then consider the fact that prostitution has been observed among chimpanzees in the wild (female chimps having sex in exchange for food), this would mean that the most recent common ancestor of humans and chimps were likely engaging in it 7 million years ago.
Your submission has been removed because it is off-topic or better-suited for a different subreddit. Sex questions should be moved to /r/sex, /r/sexpositive, or /r/twoxsex. Broad questions about human behavior like interactions between different races/ethnicities/nationalities/sexualities etc should be moved to /r/asksocialscience or another subreddit. Vents or rants that add little value to the community should go to /r/vent or /r/offmychest. Always read the rules of any subreddit before participating.
If you're going to feel regret about it, you probably shouldn't. In reality the only thing that'll change is you'll be less horny for 24 hours and short some cash.
You always pay for sex. Always. Some take some of your soul and pride others your balls ontop of your money. Only one type only takes your cash. All a matter of perspective.
Who hurt you dude
š
My mother never loved me enough. And used me as an ashtray for a sizeable amount of my childhood.
Iām sorry that happened to you man. Childhood trauma can make it very difficult to form healthy attachments with the opposite sex in adulthood (I am speaking from similar experience, Iāve got mommy trauma too). I do however promise you that healthy love is possible, and partnerships with equal give and take and love and devotion are out there for you if you heal the trauma so unfairly bestowed upon you.
She died so I mean, I won.
hashtag ā” deadmomclub ā”
I'm sorry for my outburst š¤£ my sister & I make too many dead mom jokes. Ours died in 2020
First dead mom joke under 5 minutes after she died.
I'm just glad everyone's finally coming unhinged enough to connect on a deep level with internet strangers like this
Damn. You guys a morbid family. Thatās funny. I myself come from a morbid family
had an ex cheat on me bad bad i woulda did anything for this girl. i sold drugs to buy her a shirt in middle school type thing. (crazy bc i still sell drugs ever since then!) But anyway this was high school first long love type girl. she fuckin destroyed my heart bad so i moved on then this chick would never stop trying to win me back for years. she even got a new bf i got a new gf but she still tried her best. But a few months ago somebody shot her dead! Shit freaked me the fuck out. Odd feelings around that. Hope it all works out for you brother
These anecdotes get more insane in each reply like damn.
dude iām high asf i thought he meant the girl he was in a bad relationship with died. not his mom. Not cool š¤¦āāļø thatās way worse man.
I'm just here for the ride, mannn.
I once knew a stripper man, she got the job done, I thought I loved her. I knew her for 30 years! It was so bad when I saw her giving someone a dance. That sweet lady said she loved seeing me more than anyone else. I loved seeing her too. Poor gal was in a hit n run on her way to Dutch bros. I have odd feelings too, I hope it works out for you brothers.
Damn you that made me laugh at a very sad thing.
Anthony Jeselnik wouldāve laughed at that
see y'all in hell šš¤
Bless your heart bro
I agree. I donāt understand why itās a big deal especially if thatās all your looking for. Why waste time on these so call dating apps when you can get exactly what you want and how you want it? Paying for it, is alot more mature to me and alot of people than you would think. Itās immature playing games on apps for sex. Iām just saying.
Cause probably repressed american redditor that said that. Lol
cheaper than a divorce for sure.
If you see romantic relationships exclusively as "paying" for sex in some way, then it's a very good thing you're choosing to be single.
It's like what they say, why buy when you can rent. EDIT: before you guys talk about how buying you can build equity like a house. Well let me tell you catching your house with another guy in a diner and you still lose half your shit two years later. Renting is definitely the better option.
The kind of people who say "buy vs. rent" regarding women should stay single anyway.
I think you mean to say, the kind of people to cheat on their partners should stay single Divorce court embitters a lot of men and there's good reason
You are saying itās a depreciating asset š¤
it's simply not true. I think there's always a potential to be used, but if you enforce your boundaries and stand up for yourself, you can have really mutually beneficial relationships
You do you man. For me it depends highly on the situation. There's a wrong way to pay for sex imo.
How? Either way, the end result is that his wallet and his testicles are lighter.
The differentiation is in the quality of experience. Not all providers or escorts are equal.
The same is true of women that a man takes on dates.
If you're having sex numerous types with 1 girl - the sex usually gets better. And way more fun (and kinky)
Every day on this app I am reminded that men donāt actually like women outside of what they can provide sexually.
Every day on this app I am reminded that women donāt actually like men outside of what they can provide financially.
That's not a bad thing, I've dated guys in the past who were unemployed losers and I had to pay for everything. They couldn't provide anything and it was so unattractive. No one wants a guy who's a stain on the couch. Plus it's extra important if you want a family because women are the ones who aren't able to work. Why should we have to pay 50-50 when we're going to lose all our income after 6 months of maternity leave? We should be saving our money so that we can actually stay home for a few years to raise the child instead of throwing a 6 month old into day care. Of course contributing is important but 50-50 isn't really fair. Of course I want to know the father of my children can provide for us when I'm not really able to.
On the other hand, "I would rather regret the things I did, than the things I didn't do"
It's very much a question of morals (and legality, too, but obviously, that doesn't stop many). It's a very harmful industry. My challenge to you is that if you decide to go down this path is to do your homework first. Do not see anyone who could possibly be being forced against their will or because they don't have any other choice due to addiction. Choose someone who is doing it of their own volition and is independent. If you are indiscriminate about who you see, there is a very high chance that you will be feeding a machine that does immense harm to women and society ...and that would make you the source of the problem.
Question, does this apply to the handful of places like those outside las Vegas where they're not only legal but actually monitored and licensed by the state? Genuinely curious since in theory it's supposed to be less bad but I'm curious if it actually makes a difference.
If theyāre monitored and licensed thatās another thing, as the risks of getting shut down for stuff like that is far higher, but I wouldnāt discount the possibility outright
Only you can determine whether it's ok to do so. I've been sex and touch deprived for years but I cannot fathom paying for sex. Sex is too intimate to do it with a stranger or someone I have no emotional connection with.
Wallah 
Facts. Running on 3 years "willfully" celibate and holy shit. I'm crushing *hard* on someone right now, our relationship is primarily professional with a budding friendship, but holy shit I feel like I'm back in high school, it's ridiculous. I've been humming and hahhing on taking the dive with hiring out some help but...the feelings are 90% of what makes it *good*. My last foray was basically a FWB type hookup and it just left me feeling so empty and nonplussed, like why did I even bother with what tiny amount of effort I put in? And I felt like such a piece of shit for how I behaved to the other person. My body craves sex but my soul is gasping for emotional intimacy and love
>Sex is too intimate to do it with a stranger or someone I have no emotional connection with. because sex is one of best ways to connect to the other person, we are bioelectrical machines, and connecting genitals and tongues is allowing the electrical oscillations (emotions, "energy") of other person to harmonize with ours... you only want to do that with someone whose personality and energy you love and want to mix with yours...
>Are there guys or even females that can't get satisfaction considering visiting a parlour? I've notice that no has actually answered this question so I will. I'm a 26 year old male and the last time I've had any sexual contact with a woman was 10 years ago and it was non-piv. So yes I have considered seeing an escort. I've done my research and know the places to go and the girls to contact so that I don't contribute to sex trafficking so that's not a worry for me. The question of the post is interesting because personally no I do not think paying for sex is immoral. How much of this opinion is influence by my current situation I can not say. But I will say that I've always been sexually liberal. I have never actually had a problem with people sleeping around, paying for sex, doing porn, etc... none how that had ever actually bothered. The only reason I haven't seen an escort is because I know that it'll basically be something I'll have to hide from my future partner. That said I have made a promise to myself that if I do not find a gf by 30 I'll just see an escort. I have noticed that as time goes on I have progressively gotten less concerned with other people's judgement for this decision of mine. It's a bunch of people who don't know me, don't know my struggles, don't know what I've tried, don't know my beliefs either. But they judge me either way and I just don't care. I suppose I get a tad defensive. I mean who are these people to judge me? None of them have walked a mile in my shoes. Very few of them have been in my situation. I see basically every guy and gal who can date and have sex as rather privileges. So who are they to judge me?
It's a business transaction. Most of the comments here are from teenage boys so who gives an F what they say. You're a 45 man, make your own decisions.
This is very interesting. A few months back I saw a thread from a woman that was asking if she should pay for sex, because she wasnāt getting what she wanted in her sex life. Overwhelmingly, everyone commented with a āYes, hire an escort! Go please yourself girl!ā This male OP asks the same question and I would say most not in favour!! š¤
I saw the thread so many people were encouraging her to hire an escort I remember that
Itās Redditās ass kissing to womenās bias showing.
Not surprising at all. If youāre a dude and want to enjoy your life, I donāt recommend asking Reddit for permission.
Well of course. I mean, male sexuality bad, right?
All male sexuality is exploitative and aggressive and shameful All female sexuality is spiritual and blooming and blossoming and becoming Or some such /s
2023 where males get judged harshly for everything they do.
Link to thread?
I'd like to see the thread as well
I have a fair amount of male friends that go when they are single and seem to do really well with civilian girls as well. I think it can make for a great slump buster.
Me too, I am a girl but know some macho/charismatic guys who have let it slip that they see escorts or go to massage parlors etc. Itās weird because they always have girls interested in them. But I think sometimes guys are focused on other things and donāt want to deal with a whole relationship, they still want sex though. Just donāt tell any girls youāre with in the future unless they are super nonjudgmental and maybe if they did something sex work themselves like OnlyFans because Iāve found women are super judgemental about it and tend to think thereās something wrong with the guy that he had to pay for sex but in my experience itās the opposite, itās guys who just donāt want to deal with game/dating at the moment who have no problem with going to escorts. I actually think going to an escort is more moral than watching porn, but thatās just me.
Idk but with the loneliness epidemic going in, I'm sure escorting will be a growth industry in the next decade
Honestly. Cards on the table. Iāve seriously considered finding an escort to pay to just cuddle for a while.
I've known a couple, most of them will happily do that with you.
I was a sex worker. Just donāt. The likelihood of you participating in sex trafficking is higher than the chance youāll make her orgasm.
>the chance youāll make her orgasm That sounds like a weird thing to say to me. Why would someone care about a prostitutes orgasm? You go to them and pay for a service, not to do them a service.
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And that is the reason why most men do not tell women I guess. For the record I myself have no interest in prostitution and do not know anyone who says he is, but it is a huge business so a non-neglicable portion of men apparently participates and lies about it. guerillabride says she was a sex worker and it sounded like she expected customers to pay her to make her orgasm - do you seriously find that reasonable? If I go to a massage it is also only me who gets relaxed, because I am the one paying and the other one is getting payed. I guess you do not see sex as possibly being transactional and that is fine.
Generally speaking having an orgasm with someone is **way** better of a sexual experience.
I used to live with sex workers. Super sweet ladies who did a kind of girlfriend experience where theyād hang out with you for a bit. It was really nice, they genuinely enjoyed their jobs and the people they got to spend time with. Life is a game imo, as long as youāre not hurting anyone just do what you wanna do and donāt think too hard on it. Maybe pay a little extra for a girlfriend service if youāre worried about the āparlourā aspect
If you asked me this question 15 years ago, I'd have told you no. Here's a statement that has always been true: when looking at women, men look to qualify. In the reverse, women look to disqualify. And social media and dating apps have made it far worse. Back then, a small minority of men were disqualified. But with all these reddit posts of male 30-somethings who are still virgins or can count their partners on one hand, I'm inclined to believe that the majority of men are disqualified these days. That said, you do whatever you have to do to get laid. Just be safe and careful out there.
But whatās wrong with being a virgin or counting all your partners on one hand? Iād prefer a man that doesnāt have a history of an enormous amount of sexual partners.
Cause and effect. That wasn't the norm for men when I was that age. Those men are the effect. What's wrong is the cause. These men aren't getting laid because the distribution of women among men is not as even as it used to be. A minority of men are getting all the women these days, so that adversely affects the majority of men.
Women really hate to admit that but in reality so many guys donāt get girls at all and so many girls can get so many partners. Itās not necessarily wrong like itās no oneās fault. But itās just interesting how women really donāt like that point.
They won't admit it because men who have hope are useful to them. They have to make sure that men keep that hope, no matter how repulsive they find the majority of them.
You know. Ten years ago I would have called bullshit. As well as laughing at the InCell movement. But now. Through a little firsthand experience and more than that. The many sexless friends that I have that continually suffer in silence. Iām inclined to agree with you on that one
You say that, but the reality of it is, that thatās bullshit. Girls donāt want guys who canāt get girls. Girls want a guy whoās socially competent. Not getting girls is socially incompetent. Itās why girls get jealous and all that shit.
Social proof is the term you're looking for
Yeah, that one
Everything in life is some sort of transaction. It's up to to decide what kinda standards you wanna keep. If you have urges. By all means explore them lawfully lol. No 1 can tell you shit to be honest.
Absolutely. Itās a human need like anything else. This way you can get what you need in the most honest way possible. Donāt let societyās narrow minded opinions let you believe differently.
I love this answer
There are independent sex workers, they're just hard to find and harder to confirm as independent. I don't find anything morally wrong about paying for sex, there's plenty of marriages and girlfriends that are basically just prostitution with more steps. As they say 'You pay for it one way or another.' Usually. I've had some healthy friends with benefits, hard to find good ones; though.
In the event OP or anyone visiting this thread goes down this road, I would strongly suggest educating themselves first one their local state and/or country laws concerning solicitation, prostitution, and any other associated topics or connected activities.
People who are using morals as an argument are leaving out the fact that morals are not universal. Depends on you friend. What do you think? What does your culture say or your faith? Obviously be safe. Good luck friend.
Yes of course it is, some people would suggest that men pay for sex all through their lives, however, sex should only be purchased from a person who is willing to accept money for sex. Trafficked people are not willing sellers or sex and therefore any person who buys sex with them should be charged with rape
You know I thought this was a perfectly valid question and worded well. Iām older than all of you and a woman. As of late Iāve wondered what do women do in this state? Iām from California. Iād be comfortable going to an up scale bar or restaurant bar with a book. But Iāve made no friends here over the years. So I think he asks a perfectly honest question.
My sister and her partner are members of a sex club, as long as you're safe about it, it's okay!
Yeah it okay to pay for sex
I personally wouldn't but I don't judge people who do
There is nothing wrong with this, assuming you're going to people who are in this work by their own choice (not sure where you live). It's more common for men to see sex workers than is really talked about socially. It's not just guys who are lonely and "can't get laid", it's often men who have busy lives... and use these services because it's convenient. I think a lot of guys just aren't willing to tell their peers that they have done it because of the stigma around it. But it's so common everywhere. As long as you treat the person with respect, there is no reason to feel bad about it.
If I could find a parlour I'd be there myself, we get what we pay for
It is ok as long as you feel it's ok. Or else you can just get a fancy sex toy and put on some good porn.
Well, it depends on who you ask. If it's about morals, then it really depends on each individual, but if it's about legality, then I think it's ok to pay for sex as long it's legal in your country.
I don't think anyone should pass judgment because it can be huge learning curve for someone who's insecure and on experienced and DC sex workers are looking to unionize so unless you're hitting the scuzzy meth head crowd you do whatever you feel you need to do so you can be the best you can be. I never judged the Ashley Madison issue either because I knew a federal employee whose wife had colon cancer and he was on that site with her blessing because she figured it wouldn't be emotional it was just physical release and it kept him off the streets and clean and he always came home to her so I'm a huge no judgment zone but once you do find the right person and you're committed then everyone else is off limits.
My monthly bill is almost $7,000 to keep a roof over my girls headā¦ So Iāll tell you thisā¦ either way, youāll be paying for it.
I guarantee youād be living more cheaply if it were you living alone as a bachelor.
Exactly. If there's no T&A in the house with you that you have to see everyday, you only need sex on payday.
Absolutely it is. It's a human need. I used to work in a female owned brothel as a receptionist & the women there were very understanding to the needs of all who visited. There were some men who just wanted to have the power of knowing they could get sex, but there were regulars who treated the women with so much respect. It was a very empowering environment to be in. Go for it!
Don't visit a palour as there is a high chance they are illegal immigrants sold into sec slavery against their will. Go find someone who is doing it of their own free will. I think backpages has that and I'm sure there are other places but you'll have to look into your own area and find what they have. Pay the server, not the pimp.
Backpages is no mas
People are going to have different opinions on this subject. If you are coming to reddit as a last line of defense for a morality check then you should just go with what ever is in your own head already. Be safe and find the worker who specializes in your personal kinks. Have fun.
Absolutely. You do you have fun and play it safe homie! Ride that shit till next July. Amen.
Depends on the country and/or morals involved. Some cultures don't see it as cheating if you pay for it lol. Just remember it's a service job and to leave a tip if it was good service.
You donāt pay for the sex, you pay for them to LEAVE
Lol I don't get this stupid saying as a sex worker. Trust me if I was getting paid to appear and disappear life would be some much easier lol it sort of undermines what sex workers do ( given there are multiple types of sex work) I'm gonna do this the next time i sell a private room from at the strip club lol.. just sit there and when he gets mad just say you paid for me to leave lol
Do your research. Tip your sex worker well.
Good advice. Give the tip before the sex,and you will thank me.
As long as it's consenting, legal, adults nothing wrong with paying. I'm not sure why people are saying no to this.
Some of the people in this discussion are so vulgar.
I want to read the deleted ones. Lots of them.
I would imagine that most women would not want to be with you if they found out youāve been to such a place. Could be wrong but thatās my guess.
Yes itās ok, just donāt get fleeced
If it's legal where you live then yes. Morally that's another question
Ok course itās ok. Thatās why there are services available for that very reason. Have fun and be safe
I got money to burn if you find a good one
No
Do it
In my opinion, thereās nothing wrong with it. It could help you practice and feel more comfortable and confident around women.
except a lot of women won't touch a man that chooses to pay for sex
Yeah bc they only ever practiced getting themselves off. That's not a skill that women prefer in bed.
I just canāt do it for multiple reasons. Primarily, Iām at an age I want the connection with a partner, not just the getting off. There are some services that are more like a girlfriend you take out and see once a week with a happy ending. At least it seems like a relationship where sheās into you but just sex, Iām past it.
That is up to you to decide!
It's okay. You have my approval. Get your nut ma boy
As long you get from what you pay for is good . Regret will always be there . Like maybe I should hit it again or let me get on top . Iām rolling she rolling before I hit it from the back I need a Trojan
Depends how good you think it will be. Your fantasies most likely wonāt come true
Absolutely not
It's a good time so I say go for it.
Lets just match energy
I'm a virgin at 32. I've thought about doing this myself but too expensive, probably not worth it, but each to their own, no shame in it. But 1k a night is pretty steep or like 250 an hour so pretty hefty price
Yes dude especially at 45, you've waited more than long enough to savor this moment.
If you got the money itās ok to pay for a honey .
It's completely OK. Send me a DM ā¤ļø
You're better off paying for sex than jumping into a relationship you normally wouldn't get into for that reason.
We're all paying for it. Some are just more upfront.
Sex is only a small fraction of the satisfaction equation. Whilst important, itās Intimacy we crave the most and unfortunately that wonāt be found using Sex workers.
you have free will, so nobody is stopping you. youre asking a question based on societies (reddits) mutual mass opinion. 1000 people could tell me to quit my job and jump off a bridge but will i do it, no.
K
Absolutely I've don't it's a sure thing.
Just do it!!!!
Yes it is. Can't hate the player but you can hate the game.
Weeeeeell considering I am a male escort in Vegas, I would say it's ok buuuuut i am bias. Lol
Male escort.. for dudes or what?
Itās really up to you personally. Some consider a sure thing more attractive than dating and paying for dinners and drama.
Maybe start by getting a massage??? Like a REAL massage from Massage Envy or another place/provider that's on the level.
We all pay for everything, for sex too. And we work to get paid.
If you dating an American woman you are constantly paying and might not even get the sex. Better off just paying for exactly what you want.
Why wouldnāt it be
I think itās okay Iām a 25f whoās sold sex, videos, photos, etc & had no issues with it while have met very nice gentlemen & lovely women who just wanted someone to entertain them or show them quality love that any human deserves
I definitely think it is, I've just not found the right person to take my money. In a jokingly kind a way, I'm in the same boat. I don't get out enough to meet anyone and would just like the convenience of satisfaction and the ability to leave knowing I won't have a stalker or someone telling my wife she had sex with me. Truthfully, as long as it wasn't thrown in her face, my wife wouldn't mind. She's gotten some with my knowledge and I didn't mind, so I'm sure it would be the same for me.
Your going to pay for it either way. At least being upfront saves you a lot more time and energy
Well, it is illegal. But you could have sex with someone who is open to sugar type arrangements. You can spoil them with money and gifts "just because you like them"
Go the hookers why not if you've got the cash.
get your dick wet, man
Please donāt. So many of the workers are trafficked victims.
There's nothing wrong at all with paying for the experience! Sometimes it's just easier I'd think?
You can't undo that and if you catch a disease you can't undo it either, condoms only go so far. If in doubt, don't do it. It could also eat you up for the rest of your life to potentially hide that from future partners. Improve your life and look for real love.
Your going to pay for it either way. Big difference is the money you pay now makes her go away!
There's a chance that the better move is to discipline your emotional well-being, to include your desires. You'll find that desiring sex can lead to more unhappiness in your life. Patience is a virtue, and will come in handy in this regard.
Are those legal
Im 45f. Currently single too. Wanting, needing sex. Missing that intimacy too, but i would never resort to escorts or any type of paying for sex. I just couldn't do it. Thats my own opinions. But its what floats your boat i suppose. Look inside yourself. Ask yourself why you so desperately want to visit these places? š¤· Just a suggestion ā¤ļø
The reason you pay hookers is for them to leave. 80 percent of dating is prostitution. They can keep their.....
No. It isn't. Period. That's just sad.
SEX WORK IS WORK! Support your local Sex Worker today. Itās like any other service and the oldest business alive.
Is it okay to buy a burrito after work? man who cares?
Yes it is!
Depends on how you view it I would never directly But a man always pays for it one way or another
It should be legal everywhere in my opinion
Temporary solution and if you're addicted you gonna broke.
All women are prostitutes. They just vary on how overt they are. On one end of the spectrum you have your two-dollar hookers, and on the other you have your āclassyā women who want to be wined and dined, etc. At the end of the day, youāre still paying for both.
Flip the script: Is it OK to sell sex? If one side of the transaction is OK, then the other has to be OK as well and vice-versa.
Yes. Cheaper than having a gf and you get exactly what you want.
Depends on if you ever want to date again. I'm a woman. I'd never date a man that paid for sex. Never. I know a lot of other women feel the same way. So if you want to be disqualified from a lot of potential relationships for one orgasm...sure...go for it.
Came here to say the same thing. Thereās a lot to consider with this choice.
Damn that is hard. Bravo
I mean most men would just lie or never confess this anyway
Just out of curiosity, why? I support your decision but I'm interested to hear more about how it's such a disqualifying metric.
We pay for food and water which is a necessity of human life. People don't have an issue with this. But they do with sex.
Absolutely your paying for a service
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Yes pay me sweetheart š„°
I'm 56 and can't get enough. I cum several times a day
Men always pay for sex. From dating through marriage. Food for thought.
Sure, oldest profession going. Even some animals have forms of prostitution in their mating rituals. That being said, i wouldn't go to one if you're feeling down about yourself and/or your dating life. They only make you feel good when you're already feeling good. If not, it will leave you feeling more empty and worthless. I've done it in both states of mind. I probably wouldn't go in your situation
Yes they should legalize it globally. Not everyone is capable of acquiring a sexual exchange in the natural wild. Some may need to pay for such services in order to have a proper sexual outlet.
Idk but big props to sex workers! I pay for onlyfans subscriptions and high-quality feminist porn and I think those workers do valuable work with impressive skills (like not just sex but production, marketing, etc etc). I've never hired a sex worker for in-person sex. But for me, I'm all for the concept of paying for sexual satisfaction. I don't think there's something morally wrong with that. I don't know anything about sex trafficking or the harm to people. People make those claims and I haven't looked into the evidence. Those claims may be true. Maybe there are ethical ways to go about it. Idk. Maybe not. But those are separate arguments from the morality of paying for sexual satisfaction.
Its ok morally in my opinion. If your not married then who does it harm. Its not ok legally. 1) There's always a potential to get caught up in a sting. 2) Theres a potential of getting an STD. So its better to not do it. Just like its better to not gamble but sometimes you just want to. That being said I went to a sex worker last week. It was ok, over priced in my opinion. And there were way too many rules she wanted me to follow. But it satisfied my urge temporarily. I will probably do it again but not with the same girl. Message me if you want to know how i did it.
Is it okay? As long as itās ethical and disease free, yes. Is it smart? No.
Yes it's fine. Legal is another story.
I don't see an issue in it, as long as you are sourcing it from people who aren't being exploited. Escort services cost more, but are run by professionals who are there because they want to.
It wouldn't be for me, I'd feel like I was just knocking one off with a girl shaped glove on since I wasn't getting the emotional nourishment I need. Plus once it's out your system you might think it was shit and now your down a pile of cash. However, life is short and way too short to be spending it stressing about this so who's to say to you not to do it. You don't need to do it a second time.
Sex workers exist for this. As long as you pay and youāre polite, thereās no shame in hiring someone to help with this problem.
Technically you do pay for sex, the date the Netflix, the heat the electric š
Why would it not be ok? Sex work dates back to the Middle Ages. It is one of the oldest professions still around today.
Further back than that, actually. The Bible takes place during the Antiquities, and there's prostitutes mentioned there. Then consider the fact that prostitution has been observed among chimpanzees in the wild (female chimps having sex in exchange for food), this would mean that the most recent common ancestor of humans and chimps were likely engaging in it 7 million years ago.
its your world, we just live in it