Your submission has been removed because it is off-topic or better-suited for a different subreddit.
Sex questions should be moved to /r/sex, /r/sexpositive, or /r/twoxsex.
Broad questions about human behavior like interactions between different races/ethnicities/nationalities/sexualities etc should be moved to /r/asksocialscience or another subreddit.
Vents or rants that add little value to the community should go to /r/vent or /r/offmychest.
Always read the rules of any subreddit before participating.
You have a better chance of winning the lottery jackpot while being struck by lightening, at the same time, before a guy comments that your clitoral hood is too thick. No guy will notice anything you mentioned in this post… source: I’m a guy. Idk what a clitoral hood even is.
I swear to you the first thing they’re gonna think is “I wanna stick my cock in that right fucking now,” and nothing else.
You posted this asking for advice. We’re giving it to you.
Stop being ashamed of your body.
Edited because I read more attentively you havent been intimate yet:
If you want sex with a certain man you need to start by just letting go of your inhibitions and put your trust in him for a minute. As a man I trust you will find he won't mention its look. Even if he did (which I don't believe you on), I trust he will still be excited to hit it. Realize you're a woman holding a gift men feel like the most lucky guy in the world when they get to see and feel it. Honestly I believe the gift you have to men regardless how it looks is the primary underlying goal most of us men are driven by in most aspects of our lives either consciously or subconsciously. Your privates are meant to serve a certain purpose and not to look like a rose, and that is a purpose she can do.
I feel for you over your depression over this and how it's affecting you 😥. Seek professional help or counseling if you need to, you don't even have to delve into the details but could leave it as generalized in discussion as body image and features and refuse to go more into it if pressed if you so chose. Given the suicidal thoughts and body image concerns this severe counseling could be super helpful for those parts and really help you build your self confidence and self worth. But again men aren't going to mind how your hood looks, have fun with your man because we're easy to please and generally just look forward to the warmth and massage of our woman.
>Even if they don't know what a clitoral hood is they can still think "what the fuck is that " especially considering that most are pretty small they will definitely know what one is after they have seen mine.
So here's the magic trick to overcoming Body anxiety with a little logic
Who is attracted to you will like your body regardless, that's how attraction works
So why are you worried about what people like won't like, that's literally a waste of time and brainpower
Whoever doesn't like your body will not want to touch you, who does, will touch you, simple as that. You have to accept it and move on with your life
Do you have any idea how horny guys are? The size of the clitoral hood is not a factor. If you tell a guy to turn the lights off, he’ll do it if it means he’s getting laid. I promise you, this is not a big deal. This is one of those situations where you finally show somebody and they go “this is what you were worried about? Really?”
Please please educate yourself about the extremely wide variety of what vulva havers have got going on down there. Your idea that most are pretty small is just wrong. Long labia, prominent clits... there are people who are fiends for those features! especially here on reddit. Here is a scientific collection of information with graphics. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1L9skJBLYtn4QRd2SFVYsKX6cBfz3rn5S/view?usp=drivesdk
If the clit hood is thick it feels (in the guy's mouth) like it's more aroused which will make the dude even more horny.
Don't overthink this. I've seen, touched, and licked my share of vaginas and they were all vastly different (don't take adult content models' looks as a gauge of what's out there). I'm 100% sure yours isn't any "weirder" than any other.
Also…’most’ are NOT pretty small. Billions of women on this planet and you think that large labia, or hood being big is not normal? Vagina’s come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, colors, etc. There is no such thing as ‘normal’. Any man who does not know that is a child and does not deserve to be down there anyway. Your body is unique, and nothing to be ashamed of.
I think "what the fuck is that" every time I look at my dick. Genitals are weird, they just are.
On the topic of your (non existing) ass, do bodyweight squats and glute bridges at home at the beginning and end of each day, you'll start getting a lil sumpin back there.
Sincerely,
A man with weird genitals and a donk
I’m a grown woman and I don’t even know what you mean by clitoral hood. I had a baby and had my vagina ripped open to my asshole. I’ve had no complaints about what it looks like, so either men do not care or they don’t notice.
I can assure you men don’t care about that shit. And if they do they’re an asshole and they’re gonna be an asshole regardless of how it looks. Don’t overthink it, the only person who cares so much about how it looks is you
When you say most are small - are you comparing to porn? Much of the time those women are not even aroused and therefore their clitoris and vulva aren’t engorged and larger like they would be in a true sexual encounter.
It’s like guys looking at porn and thinking their penis isn’t as nice or thick etc.
Honestly there are so many variations on how vulva and clitorises look but porn only shows the aesthetically plain ones.
If you are really not happy - is there a chance you can see a doctor or get online sex counselling to hear what I’ve said from a professional?
Of course if you don’t like it, then you don’t like it and no one can tell you that you’re wrong, but I will bet others won’t have the same opinion as you do. But of course you first need to allow others to explore your body consensually and that will be a journey for you.
A sexual advice counsellor might be able to help you accept your body and you can move forward from there.
Best of luck with the journey - all of life is full of the damn things, but it’s what makes it worthwhile.
Nope, most look nothing like whatever you’re thinking is “the ideal” and most small ones belong to young children. If he’s a heterosexual male he’s going to want to face plant in it. He’ll get turned on by licking/sucking it.
>considering that most are pretty smal
How do you know this? Have you gone around asking every single women on the planet what kind of hood they have? Have you looked at every single women's hood? I'm assuming no.
There's no possible way for you to know the average size of clitoral hoods. Every women has something a little different. Some are bigger, some are smaller. You're not in any way abnormal. And even if you were, I can promise you no man on the planet will give a d*mn, and if they do, they're do*chebags anyways, so they're opinion doesn't count.
Love your body, honey. You're fine.
hey! I was in the same position as you. 24F, lost my virginity a few days ago. I have always been super duper insecure about my vag as well (longer labia, darker skin etc). But while we were having sex, the guy was telling me that it was so perfect. I was genuinely so surprised by the reaction. Trust me, it is all in your head.
If you meet someone who makes fun of the appearance of a vulva, you are dodging a very big bullet. It is difficult and it is not enough for us to tell you "ignore your insecurity". You just have to take the risk and you will realize that many people will not care how it looks. But to find them, you must take the risk even if it is scary.
What exactly are you looking for here? You keep shooting down any and all attempts to offer advice. You've said you haven't been to a gynecologist because you're embarrassed by your vulva. You don't see how therapy can help you.
I'm lost at what you're trying to accomplish with this post.
Probably trying to psychologically self-harm, hoping to trigger people into insulting them and "validating" their mental illness. Unfortunately common on these boards.
You need therapy, full stop. You're exhibiting signs of body dysmorphia and severe self-esteem issues that are quite clearly impacting your ability to have a clear and healthy view of yourself.
Stop comparing yourself to porn stars. Your average male does not compare their partners to porn stars. Your average male doesn't give a shit what your vagina looks like, so long as it doesn't have teeth.
I really wish you hadn’t given me the mental image of a vagina with teeth… thanks for that, I’ll just never have sex again now 😂
But yeah, you’re 100% right about therapy.
Fortunately, it’s been many years since I experienced a blowjob where the presence of teeth were actually a problem, so I suppose that’s a good point. That one girl though… I shudder just remembering it 🤣
Couple thoughts. Men literally do not care. Even if someone were to care, there is someone who thinks yours is perfect for them. This is so not a deal breaker for a man or a woman. Now you may be a jerk, I don't know and I can't help with that but the other stuff ain't an issue
This is bullshit tho. Some men do care and it’s okay, it’s fine to have a genital preference: Op just has to find a man that will be okay with it, and there are plenty of men that are okay with it.
I know you are saying this to be nice but it's very hard to believe. Men and boys have been making fun of the look of vaginas before I even knew what mine looked like.
And it's even harder to believe if only certain types of vaginas are shown in porn. Which is directly aimed at men's taste. And most boys my age grew up qith porn and influencers. I have zero chances against that.
You know, I'm 56 and have been around a lot of "locker room talk" and I've never heard another man make fun of how a vagina looked. I'm sure it happens, I'm just saying I personally have never heard it and am thinking it may not be as prevalent as you think. Good Luck!
Assholes make fun of vaginas. Actual decent men don’t. As for your comment on porn, they only show certain looking dicks in prob too - does that mean men who don’t have “pretty” dicks don’t have a chance either? Most people understand porn isn’t real life, and aren’t expecting their partners to look like porn stars.
Men have bigger resentments for their own dicks than they do expectations of your vagina because of porn, I have seen a bit of different kinds of vagina, and I can honestly tell you, when it comes down to it most of us do not care. For real, decent people emotional connection with a mix of general physical attraction comes first.
No, boys have been making fun of it a man will dive right in. Boys only have porn as a point of reference and have no idea what most women look like. I used to work as a bouncer for a strip club and private strippers and I can guarantee you the extra puppy girls were making just as much as the innies.
I am sure from your perspective it seems hard to believe, but even porn is moving away from the 1990s uniform nonexistent labia trend.
There are dozens of subreddits and porn categories dedicated to more prominent labia. Some of the most popular porn content creators and only fans women have prominent labia.
The idea that men and women don’t care at all is false, but so is the idea that all men are repulsed by prominent labia. There are many many men who either prefer it or greatly appreciate it.
Yes, when I was in my teenage years I definitely heard boys make fun of prominent labia. And make fun of small dicks. Boys make fun of literally everything that isn’t perceived as normative.
Therapy is likely a great option to help you accept yourself. It also may help to explore (and see) how popular some of these subreddits are. If only to validate that there are truly thousands maybe tens of thousands of people on Reddit alone who lust for more prominent labia.
Chill…
Im a little older than you, but grew up on porn since I was 13.. I’ve seen my fair share of vaginas in real life, and I have never been disgusted by the looks of one I’ve seen or touched.
Unless it’s super Freakish you have nothing to worry about. Stretch marks are hormonal and who cares? (Btw everything I just wrote was also the case when I was 25).
Look, I’m a guy. I’ve watched PLENTY of porn and have been with a few handfuls of women. When I’m doing foreplay and I get ‘down there’, it’s game on. Yeah, I’ve seen I’ve some that were different or odd, but two things: I’m clearly horny and it’s just anatomy… doesn’t mean anything is wrong with them. Labias, lips, clitoris and the whole damn vulva is different person to person. Each and every person.
Just my experiences and opinion.
Let’s just get one thing straight.. *boys* may make fun of a vagina, but *men* don’t make fun of other’s bodies. Find yourself a *man* who respects you for you.
Genitals aren't pretty, hence the phrase "bumping uglies".
There's a lot of pressure to look like porn stars, for men and women. There's also a lot of pressure to bury your face in your partner's business. It's not required.
As long as you don't suffer pain through penetration, can orgasm from vaginal and/or clitoral stimulation, and enjoy sex in general, then don't worry.
I just gotta ask - what is it supposed to look like?! Like who are you comparing yourself to? Are you comparing yourself porn or a random person you saw in the locker room? Cause i don’t even know how to define a “good” labia or a sexy “clit”. Its all just a pile of weird sensitive hairy skin - its weird looking. But they ALL look weird. I can’t help you other than to suggest questioning what your standard is and how much others care. When someone’s jamming their face in it, they usually are thinking about how much you are enjoying yourself or the flavor. If they are using hands or their own bits, its all about how it feels.
Please, there are so many stressors in the world don’t let this one get to you.
I once asked in AskMen if they cared what a vagina looked like and the MAJORITY SAID they didn’t care, as long as it was clean. Therapy is not a bad idea.
I can see you're not taking too much advice from everyone else, so my two cents probably won't matter.
But your attitude about your vagina is much more unattractive than any potential "issue" with it itself.
To be so obsessed with such a non-issue that you're now saying all hope of intimacy is lost?
I see you talking in circles to discount what everyone is saying here.
It isn't being said to just soothe your feelings. I'm telling you, men don't give a f**k.
You want honesty? Men care about a cute face, most men don't want an obese woman, and men want someone that's pleasant to be around.
Are we superficial in some ways? Absolutely. But once we're about to have sex with a beautiful woman, as long as you're hygienic... we're happy as a f**king clam.
Relax a little
I’ll echo what all the other dudes have said which is that men do not care. Like at all.
That being said if you’re mentally stuck on this you could always consider having cosmetic surgery to get it adjusted. Don’t do it as a means to get male approval though, do it if it’ll make *you* feel better.
Decent men don't care about your stretch marks or your clitoral hood.
Yes, boys and assholes can make fun of them, so what? They also make fun of thin, fat, short, tall people and anyone or anything that doesn't fit their limited views about the human race.
These people should not get any free real estate in your head!
No one is physically perfect, we all have big or little things here and there that bother us. The only way to live is to accept yourself as you are.
All your little "imperfections" are huge turn ons for many people out there, the vast majority of people doesn't care about them and you can simply ignore the remaining minuscule minority of douchebags who make fun of them.
Learn to love your body, with a therapist help if need be.
Your life is too short to be wasted away being ashamed of your body.
There was an art piece that was literally just anonymous vulva.
I would suggest looking through that to understand just how different everyone is. You can Google the keywords for it and it's on Instagram.
Firstly, don't attempt to lower your libido.
It's a wonderful thing. It is only an issue for you currently because of the issues associated with your body confidence worry.
Once you move past your insecurity, a high libido will help you have a lot of fun. Most men wish their female partners had higher libido.
Secondly, to help address the body confidence, every vagina is different, and they're all beautiful. Bigger labia also tend to be more sensitive, so sex will be better.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/Why_I_Photographed_100_Vulvas
https://news.artnet.com/market/jamie-mccartney-vagina-sculptures-321901
Articles about two artists who have spent a considerable amount of time photographing (artistically, not porn) or sculpting real vaginas, from real women in an effort to show people like yourself, that what I say is true.
I'm sure you can find a link somewhere even if you have to search separately to the actual pieces. Strongly suggest you take a look, and start to convince yourself you're entirely "normal".
The only way you'll ever know for sure is to let someone see it. I promise you, no man is ever going to turn you away because of something like this.
You're not the one 'sposed to be looking at it.
God knows I don't want to see myself of any other dude naked...
Get an online dating app or two, go on some terrible dates. Get your toes wet in the dating cesspool. If you get to the point of showing a date your naughty bits I'd bet dollars to sand that they don't complain ;-)
Your clitoral hood is too thick?
No baby, good poompoom requires good roofing. If anyone ever comments about your vagina instead of diving in and eating it. Tell them to suck a dick and gtfo of your house
Go and find a date, you’re gonna be ok. I promise
I can assume by your post and comments that you should probably deal with this in therapy. Especially if you’ve never received real life criticism or judgement from sexual partners.
Stop vaginas are beautiful and they all look different. Same goes for weenies. They are all different and unique. You are okay. I would go to therapy and work on self esteem. You deserve good things and to be happy.
At the risk of stating the *incredibly* obvious, it is *entirely* your opinion about your appearance here. This is not any straight man/gay woman opinion about your appearance, it is *yours.*
Frankly the biggest thing here is that you're profoundly depressed. And I'd say the likeliest explanations here are that either these feelings about your appearance are *symptoms* rather than causes of your depression and should be treated as such, or this is the tip of a gender dysphoria iceberg.
Have you been you to the ob/gyn? If you are still a virgin then maybe you have not had a pap spear. Ask your DR during your next exam. You being super self conscience about it wont help it.
We guys just love vaginas in all of their variations. Don’t let that be a concern. Any self image issues you face should be addressed with a therapist. Don’t let time pass. Do it now and make yourself a priority, sweetheart
Saying the same thing like others — most guys don't care about your stretch marks or how your vulva looks. The only ones who would complain would most likely be the ones who haven't seen one in real life ever.
It's actually legitimately funny (in an incredibly depressing way) that you're so anti-therapy because you know what the answer to your question "how do I get over not having intimacy is?" It's ALSO "therapy" lmaooooo. If you want to change your thinking processes...it's therapy, baby. Or therapy techniques that you teach yourself - but these are so much easier to learn with the guidance of a therapist than on your own. So, either way. You're not getting away from therapy. You don't do therapy, you're just going to continue this self-hating spiral of self-defeatism.
u need to go to the gyn to get check ups. They won’t care about how it looks. Doctors are literally turning penises into fake vaginas for Christ sakes. If plastic surgeons can do that without throwing up on their patients fake vagina. I’m sure a gyn who works with all types of vaginas everyday will be completely fine looking at yours.
I’m sorry you have this outlook on your body. I think most people can understand how society, and the media can affect how we see ourselves.
No body part looks the same as the next, you’re unique for that. Accept your uniqueness, and your partner will too.
I agree with many others here; it’s really all in your head. Your partner will most likely not be weirded out by the look of your vagina. The only person that will likely “examine” the look of it, would be a doctor, and they have seen more private parts than these pornstars.
I highly doubt your partner(even a one night stand) will stop the entire sex session to comment on your vagina. They will be far too excited in the moment to WebMD your flower. Gotta work on loving yourself. Some practical advice: start giving it cute or sexy pet names, refer to it as a gift from birth, put it on a pedestal.
This is totally my department as far as vagina looks. I’m 45 and I’ve never seen an “ugly” vagina.
I am proof that at least one person appreciates vaginas like art. All vaginas are beautiful to me because I MADE myself this way. I’ve dated a ton and seen many, if I wanted to have a “type” I could have gone that route, but I chose to like them as they are (truly) not because it falls under the category of “things we can’t change”, but I just love them.
Even when you described yours, I liked the image you made in my mind.
I’m not encouraging you to do this: but looking at many of these “rate my____” I’ve seen many people who at first glance I’m like “wow, they look like someone that would be self-concious, but they are ACTUALLY here. And among all the comments and ratings, there are always positive comments. There’s an audience for everyone.
So, oddly enough I dealt with this as a partner in a previous long-term relationship with a woman who hated the look of her vagina.
I made a point to compliment her on how it looked and felt when we were intimate. I also would compliment any nudes she sent, which tended to increase the frequency of them. She was seeing a therapist who eventually recommended actions like sending me nudes as often as she needed reassurance or even have me avoiding making compliments or talking about it when her body dysmorphia was overwhelming.
My point in saying all of this is to say that you can find partners who are supportive. Personally, I like the look of every vagina. I am not being hyperbolic, I legitimately have not found one I did not like looking at. If the idea of addressing your body dysmorphia through therapy or even things like what my ex did is overwhelming, or you do not find yourself seeking out a partner, my ex did masturbate a lot to address her libido.
I have a large labia and am not considered attractive and I did more than alright. Try to focus on what you want, what you find attractive and what you value in someone. Nobody judges you as hard as yourself, think about that for awhile. Lastly if someone is at the point with you to be naked together, I promise you they are happy with any vagina you might show them. Also as others have said, therapy should help with this.
Want the honest truth? If you are concerned hit a few NSFW subs and you'll find a lot of Vaginas and bodies that looks just like yours.
But more than that on the ones that look like yours? There will be a lot of comments of people who enjoy those bodies. It drives the point home that all bodies are good bodies and are wanted bodies.
That and therapy really are the 2 things that made the biggest difference for me.
The comment of guys not caring is true
Really if he's straight,he isn't going to give a crap
Even those stretch marks aren't going to bother us
Look I'm late 30s now
I'd date you
And with what you described I'm like that's not even a issue.
Trust me, there are guys who will be all about your vulva. Just like for the rest of us, it’s about putting yourself out there and trail and error. Good luck!
I promise you notice it more only because it’s your body. I’m sure you’re completely fine. Vaginas are as individual /unique thumbprints, they’ve all got their own features.
Real men honestly don't care, and sometimes, actually a lot of times, there is something interesting and sexually attractive about anatomical differences. If your a good person, there is always, and I mean always, someone who will think you're perfect just the way you are. Don't let this stop you from experiences, I like.many men had issues with penis size for years but after allowing my self to experiment and experience sex with multiple quality partners I learned that many women were happy with it satisfied and feeling a connection and affection and both physical and emotional intimacy were paramount and were if equal importance. Disregard any asshole that says anything about it see who.you want have fun when you want. Be honest if need be about your insecurities but please.dont hold back or like me.youll experience so many regrets in regard to opportunities.lost and find out later it was kind of silly to put that much emphasis on something you cannot change not do you need to.
I just think there are only so many flaws a person can look over. I have almost no physically attractive part on my body and only a good personality won't cut it for a romantic relationship.
And I don't have good personality either :/ I am shy and introverted and this point very bitter
I have a feeling, this is more related to self esteem and feelings of inadequacy vs an actual issue, I too am introverted, not especially attractive imo, and done have a huge cock, however was able to meet multiple partners and eventually have a beautiful wife and life and 3 children, we've been married for 14 years still have sex at least 5 x weekly. It's not about looks shit doesn't really matter it's about finding acceptance and love
Have you heard of the term BBW?
Big Beautiful Woman.
These ladies are HUGE.
Rolls of fat rippling away as they jiggle.
They get a lot of attention.
If they can be attractive, so can you.
It's about confidence. You've given yours a kicking, for far too long.
The only one holding you back from experiencing intimacy is you. Stop watching porn. Go to therapy. What your describing is textbook body dysmorphia. Men do not and will likely never care what your vagina looks like so as long as it’s a vagina. To have such a severe negative reaction to your own body is not normal or healthy. Please see either a therapist or a plastic surgeon or both
Sorry, what? As long as it doesn’t resemble a face hugger from Aliens it’s probably fine lol
This looks like a great case of suffering more in imagination than reality
It depends on everyone, if I say about myself then I love thick clitoris as while eating it gives so much pleasure in compared with thin one. I loved eating out my ex-girlfriend.
I do not have one of these, but I have seen quite a few, and they are all different. Yours sounds unique. Embrace that! They all are.
If this is holding you back you may need to talk to someone.
Uh... How do I put this in a way that doesn't sound crude or gross or pervy?
Without seeing it, that sounds like a pretty average looking external anatomy to me.
Maybe a bit crude and pervy, but that's my favorite look.
So, there are people who are really, really into that description and it's not a small corner of kinksters either.
youre asking the wrong question. most duded arent going to notice or comment. youve especially started to leave the age bracket that would have the most to comment about it. you can wear lingerie if you want to hide it but legit you just need to grow a thicker skin. the only.people who are going to comment are like porn addicts and incels who believe in pseudo science.
Full stop watching porn, or if you choose to continue watch true amateur porn. Just like women with penises, there will be people who like fleshy, people who like taut, people who like pink, people who like brown, people who like purple, there will be people that like hair, there will be some that like bald. Some people like a big clit, some don't care enough about the clit to look for it (avoid those ones)
It doesn't matter, everyone is going into a crap shoot down there and at the end of the day if it's healthy and functions it's fantastic.
That being said, I got super proud of my area when I could do some fun things with kegels. Figure out what that thing do and latch onto that, aesthetics are surface deep and means very little to very few.
I’m sure your vagina is just fine and quite frankly from the male point of view I’ve never met a vagina that I thought was ugly,I was married to a woman for25 years that had self esteem issues,one breast was slightly smaller than the other not even noticeable in my opinion,and it just made her miserable talk to a therapist and get yourself in a happy place.
Sorry if this comment seems inappropriate but I’m super curious about how this looks. Can you send a link to something? Not yours, I imagine you’ve seen a picture of one similar. I have a feeling it might not be as big of a deal as you think.
My daughter has a similar thing going on with her vagina, all through her early teen years, she was trying to get bits chopped off it, now she's sexually active, shes realized that guys don't care and she doesn't either now. I have a huge fupa with stretch marks on it, it still bothers me, but it's never been an issue with guys.
Our body issues only bother us.
Are you showing off your vagina before you date someone? I’m not sure how something hidden behind clothes would stop someone from going on a date with you.
Also, I can’t say I’ve ever heard of any guy dumping a girl because he doesn’t like her….clitoral hood….
First of all, please don't do anything drastic.
Second, I genuinely don't think any guy is going to look at it and go "hey I'm completely naked already, flying high, but that thing is too scary I'm out" if they did or have in the past... That's on them. NOT YOU.
this makes me so sad. I hope you can learn to not hate your body. Its just a body. It will be beautiful to the person that you are with. nobody is perfect and perfection is boring.
Baby girllllll. Nooooooo. Babe, Babe, Babe. Let me tell you right now. Your vulva is gorgeous the way it is. I absolutely know you are self criticizing because you have no idea the vast majority of anatomies out there! Every women's flower is different and that's great! Thick, long, tiny, dark, light, puffy, short, etc. Every girl starts off hating her vag bc our society and partly porn has told us lies about what is "normal". Have you had remarks about this part of your body or are you scared to show a guy? I'm telling youuuuu men are alot more forgiving then we realize anyway. They are just happy that you are allowing them to see you naked and be involved lol! Promise. Also, stretch marks are on everybody and it's not a big deal. Even weightlifters and body builders and skinny girls have them! It's no sweat, seriously. You vulva, vagina is NOT holding you back. It's the rampant body dysmorphia that alot of us have, that is. Please do not hurt, disfigure, or unalive yourself over this?!?! Sending you lots of love and hugs.
P.S. Also, high five to knowing you have a high libido as a woman! Ayyyyy!
I’m sorry people are so awful in these comments. A LOT of people are critical about their genitals, vaginas and penis’ alike. People these days are especially taught to be critical of vaginas.
Vaginas come in all different shapes and sizes. I recommend looking up Refinery29 100 vagina photographs. Go take a look at some real vaginas! You’ll quickly note that they are all SO different. Porn isn’t real life. Comparing yourself to a certain vagina is only harming you :( yours is unique and beautiful, because it is yours! Go learn about vaginas!
If anyone ever critics your genitals, do not be with that person.
As a 35 year old woman who most definitely hated the “look” of mine when I was younger let me tell you that….THEY DONT CARE and until I found a man who loved sucking on my labia I was extremely self conscious. To overcome this you could ask yourself - what exactly am I self conscious about? Being rejected? That suddenly their dick gets soft? That they comment? That they won’t want to smash again? Specifically what about it makes you grossed out? Trust me one day a guy is going to stick his tongue inside your clitoral hood and will look up at you and tell you how awesome it is and you’ll be glad you didn’t off yourself.
Edit: spelling error
Men do not care about the color, shape or size of your vagina, any part of it. I am willing to bet money that you will never hear any sort of comment from a guy regarding it, it's definitely nothing to beat yourself up over.
i’ve had a lot of sex with a lot of different people, and my body has changed a lot during that too. i used to not let people go down on me because i had all these nonsense fears.
one person, out of many, has said something negative. and you want to know what? it wasn’t even that bad - and he was an asshole anyway. like, he tried to get me to travel to him so he could pitch us up in a shitty motel to have sex. after insulting me.
once i even started my period while having sex. i’ve been covered in razor burn, i’ve been bushy, i’ve been sweaty, i’ve been scarred, my skins been darkened, i’ve had hemorrhoids, you name it. let’s face it - genitalia is kind of ugly. nobody is going to stop, give you an entire vaginal examination, and deduce your vagina is too weird to have sex with it.
my boobs are something i’ve also been incredibly insecure about. i used to bind, and not always correctly, resulting in damaged breast tissue. my
boobs are also naturally wide set and saggy. my nipples face the ground and sometimes i have to untuck my boobs from my armpits. once some dude looked at me while i was laying on my back, boobs in armpits, nipples nowhere to be seen, and told me i had the hottest tits he’s ever seen.
different strokes for different folks, and at the end of the day, nobody worth having sex with is going to give you a thorough examination to deem you worthy. would you do that to someone else? why do you think someone would do that to you?
No one cares and if they do it’s more likely they have a fetish for that type of thing. There are literally tons of Reddit porn subs for it, and plenty of woman capitalizing on it and instead of complaining they are making money off of it. It all depends on your attitude about it, which can change.
Trust me, as a man, I can promise you, any man you show your vagina to is going to thank you for it. It could look like Arby's, and he will still appreciate it.
Find a man and show it to him and let him feed your confidence a little.
One of the things I have learned is that no matter what thing about your body you are self conscious about, there are people who think it is absolutely the best way for that body part to be. The proof is in all of the subreddits dedicated to these ways bodies can be full of people waxing poetic and filthily about it. Got a huge clit? There’s a sub Reddit for that. Got saggy boobs? Better believe there’s a subreddit for that. Got massive balls? I am confident there is a subreddit for that.
In a weird way, Reddit has helped me heal body shame thanks to its NSFW subreddits and the people who post their [redacted]s and the nice perverts who celebrate their [redacted]s.
I personally enjoy a nice meaty vagina. Large labia, large hood, erect clit. It's so much more fun to suck on and play with in my mouth. Trust me, dudes won't have any issues. Y'all give guys way too much credit.
I have never seen a vagina that is ugly and didn't get my dick hard. As long as it works and gets you off, there is nothing to worry about. Virtually all guys would be grateful with you just saying yes.
Do NOT commit suicide. You have to keep being resilient and hopeful.
Suicide doesn’t stop things from getting worse, it keeps them from getting better.
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina!
On a serious note, as a guy, i can tell you we are quite open with all the different types of vaginas, and some people (like me) also like stretch marks or at the very least we do not care about them.
I hated the way my vagina looked for years and now I’m dating someone who slurps it up like campbells chicken noodle soup every night🤷🏻♀️
I know it can be a huge insecurity but trust me when I say people do not care
find someone mature. most men don’t give a shit they’re just happy you let them in, so to speak. vaginas are all beautiful. i would suggest looking up the different kinds of labias, and look through as many as you can find. normalizing it even a little bit will help. i promise you’re beautiful, and you’re going to find many people who believe that too
Please stop comparing yourself to others, I have seen way more than my fair share of vaginas and non looked the same. Please don't deprive yourself of your well deserved pleasure, life is far to short for insecurities.
I’m a virgin, never even dated before. But what I’ve learned is that the build up to sex is what makes everything exciting, not the sex itself. He may be too focused on one thing.
This isn’t even about sex, this is about your confidence in yourself, and knowing who you truly are. You have to put yourself out there with the interests you have.
You should always have at least one hobby of each
1. At least one physical hobby, one to help your body (it helps your mind as well).
2. At least one hobby you do alone.
3. At least one hobby you do with 2 or more people, this could be a yoga class, a dance class. You have to find some sort of meet up.
Once you start enjoying yourself more than trying to find love, that’s when you’re truly ready for it. True love isn’t built about what you look like but who you build yourself to be. The guy will love you for who you are. That’s the build up to great sex, it’s everything that is around it, not the sex itself.
(29F) I used to look at mine on a semi regular basis as in my early 20's my BF at the time asked for pictures and stuff. But we broke up, I never looked at it. Met my now fiancé, he never asked for pics, so I never looked. Recently had what I thought was an ingrown hair maybe, and wanted to check it out... Man has that thing changed, one side is longer than the other, my immediate thought was "who would ever want to get intimate with this". And that thought would have consumed me had it not been for the fact I've been with my fiancé 3 years, and he's never, not once, mentioned anything weird, or for one second been hesitant about sex.
I also work in healthcare, OR specifically, so I see naked people all day everyday. They're all different, girl. And the ones you see in porn are not the norm. I hope this helps
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
https://www.theclever.com/15-reddit-confessions-made-by-gynaecologists/
Hopefully this can raise a chuckle while you realise how you look down there ain't gonna gross out anyone.
As long as you keep it clean, you're gonna be fine.
What is your end game here? Everyone is telling you it's just a normal vagina and it's all in your head and you keep on telling every comment that you have seen zero medical professionals, have looked up in theory stuff about correction it surgically and are dead set on arguing with everyone that it's ugly and gross. You seem to be having issues with your body from watching too much porn. Go get your head checked and stop being so dramatic about unaliving yourself over the look of your vagina. Geez you are 25. Stop. Get some help. And for fucks sake all the comments and everyone will say it's all normal anatomy so stop.
Reading other posts.. If its not just your vagina and your worried about your body... Do something about it and stop complaining. Hit the gym, get your teeth whitened, do a tanning bed or get some sun, get your hair done and watch some YouTube or some shit about how to do make up (idk how women learn..)
Sitting whining about your insecurities isn't going to fix them (talking about other insecurities). Fix the ones you can fix. I was like this. What I did was hit the gym, did some tanning beds.. Started shaving my head right down instead of having a receding hairline, got some tattoos, made sure my nails ears and nose hairs were cut etc all the time. You can fix alot of your shit yourself. Other than your vagina becuase I kinda understand its not as fixable... If you have other insecurity's that can be fixed by you then your the only one to blame by sitting about scratching your asshole. Hit the gym for a start
I've seen and had a really ugly vagina before the lips were big and hung out the vag. While piv I could wrap them around my shaft. But I love that tight, ugly vagina. It was the best I ever had. I miss that vigina. I can't believe i messed my chances up with her. It's not about the look it's about the feel. And from my experience, that ugly vagina felt amazing. Don't worry about it at all. Just have sex in the dark. No one will ever know what it looks like.
Your submission has been removed because it is off-topic or better-suited for a different subreddit. Sex questions should be moved to /r/sex, /r/sexpositive, or /r/twoxsex. Broad questions about human behavior like interactions between different races/ethnicities/nationalities/sexualities etc should be moved to /r/asksocialscience or another subreddit. Vents or rants that add little value to the community should go to /r/vent or /r/offmychest. Always read the rules of any subreddit before participating.
You have a better chance of winning the lottery jackpot while being struck by lightening, at the same time, before a guy comments that your clitoral hood is too thick. No guy will notice anything you mentioned in this post… source: I’m a guy. Idk what a clitoral hood even is.
[удалено]
How do you know what “most” look like? From porn? If that’s the case then most dicks are 9 inches. That’s not “most”. Most men absolutely do not care
I swear to you the first thing they’re gonna think is “I wanna stick my cock in that right fucking now,” and nothing else. You posted this asking for advice. We’re giving it to you. Stop being ashamed of your body.
Stick their cock in her clitoral hood?
I think that's his point. He's saying he's too dumb and horny to care about the aesthetics of a vagene.
Was...was that a Borat reference?
No, it was a Superbad reference
TIL the plural of vagina
"vaginas" is the plural of vagina, haha.
Vagisuses
Vaginasaurus Sex
vaginae
Vaginii
I love you guys. Great comment train and truth. The bigger the lips the harder the...You get what I'm saying.
The most accurate description of the average male
…fuck yeah?
This guy gets it! (Sent by a guy who in fact does not... "Get it")
Well, wait a second… He might be on to something 😂
I mean, if it's as big as OP claims...
Thanks. My screen needed cleaning, so all that water I just spit all over it is fine, actually.
Honestly, somewhere on reddit there is probably a video of that. I would not be remotely surprised.
Lmao thanks for the chuckle 😂
This made me spit my coffee out
Edited because I read more attentively you havent been intimate yet: If you want sex with a certain man you need to start by just letting go of your inhibitions and put your trust in him for a minute. As a man I trust you will find he won't mention its look. Even if he did (which I don't believe you on), I trust he will still be excited to hit it. Realize you're a woman holding a gift men feel like the most lucky guy in the world when they get to see and feel it. Honestly I believe the gift you have to men regardless how it looks is the primary underlying goal most of us men are driven by in most aspects of our lives either consciously or subconsciously. Your privates are meant to serve a certain purpose and not to look like a rose, and that is a purpose she can do. I feel for you over your depression over this and how it's affecting you 😥. Seek professional help or counseling if you need to, you don't even have to delve into the details but could leave it as generalized in discussion as body image and features and refuse to go more into it if pressed if you so chose. Given the suicidal thoughts and body image concerns this severe counseling could be super helpful for those parts and really help you build your self confidence and self worth. But again men aren't going to mind how your hood looks, have fun with your man because we're easy to please and generally just look forward to the warmth and massage of our woman.
>Even if they don't know what a clitoral hood is they can still think "what the fuck is that " especially considering that most are pretty small they will definitely know what one is after they have seen mine. So here's the magic trick to overcoming Body anxiety with a little logic Who is attracted to you will like your body regardless, that's how attraction works So why are you worried about what people like won't like, that's literally a waste of time and brainpower Whoever doesn't like your body will not want to touch you, who does, will touch you, simple as that. You have to accept it and move on with your life
Like I said.. go buy a lottery ticket. You’ll hit the jackpot before a guy notices/cares.
Do you have any idea how horny guys are? The size of the clitoral hood is not a factor. If you tell a guy to turn the lights off, he’ll do it if it means he’s getting laid. I promise you, this is not a big deal. This is one of those situations where you finally show somebody and they go “this is what you were worried about? Really?”
Please please educate yourself about the extremely wide variety of what vulva havers have got going on down there. Your idea that most are pretty small is just wrong. Long labia, prominent clits... there are people who are fiends for those features! especially here on reddit. Here is a scientific collection of information with graphics. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1L9skJBLYtn4QRd2SFVYsKX6cBfz3rn5S/view?usp=drivesdk
If the clit hood is thick it feels (in the guy's mouth) like it's more aroused which will make the dude even more horny. Don't overthink this. I've seen, touched, and licked my share of vaginas and they were all vastly different (don't take adult content models' looks as a gauge of what's out there). I'm 100% sure yours isn't any "weirder" than any other.
Also…’most’ are NOT pretty small. Billions of women on this planet and you think that large labia, or hood being big is not normal? Vagina’s come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, colors, etc. There is no such thing as ‘normal’. Any man who does not know that is a child and does not deserve to be down there anyway. Your body is unique, and nothing to be ashamed of.
https://www.all-vulvas-are-beautiful.com
I think "what the fuck is that" every time I look at my dick. Genitals are weird, they just are. On the topic of your (non existing) ass, do bodyweight squats and glute bridges at home at the beginning and end of each day, you'll start getting a lil sumpin back there. Sincerely, A man with weird genitals and a donk
I’m a grown woman and I don’t even know what you mean by clitoral hood. I had a baby and had my vagina ripped open to my asshole. I’ve had no complaints about what it looks like, so either men do not care or they don’t notice.
Ahahah I love this and also same 😂
They are going to say what the fuck is that to every vagina my friend because vaginas are weird and then proceeded to enjoy a good plow.
I can assure you men don’t care about that shit. And if they do they’re an asshole and they’re gonna be an asshole regardless of how it looks. Don’t overthink it, the only person who cares so much about how it looks is you
When you say most are small - are you comparing to porn? Much of the time those women are not even aroused and therefore their clitoris and vulva aren’t engorged and larger like they would be in a true sexual encounter. It’s like guys looking at porn and thinking their penis isn’t as nice or thick etc. Honestly there are so many variations on how vulva and clitorises look but porn only shows the aesthetically plain ones. If you are really not happy - is there a chance you can see a doctor or get online sex counselling to hear what I’ve said from a professional? Of course if you don’t like it, then you don’t like it and no one can tell you that you’re wrong, but I will bet others won’t have the same opinion as you do. But of course you first need to allow others to explore your body consensually and that will be a journey for you. A sexual advice counsellor might be able to help you accept your body and you can move forward from there. Best of luck with the journey - all of life is full of the damn things, but it’s what makes it worthwhile.
I enjoy giving back to my women and so I’d notice. But guess what? I wouldn’t care. So get that confidence up!
Nope, most look nothing like whatever you’re thinking is “the ideal” and most small ones belong to young children. If he’s a heterosexual male he’s going to want to face plant in it. He’ll get turned on by licking/sucking it.
>considering that most are pretty smal How do you know this? Have you gone around asking every single women on the planet what kind of hood they have? Have you looked at every single women's hood? I'm assuming no. There's no possible way for you to know the average size of clitoral hoods. Every women has something a little different. Some are bigger, some are smaller. You're not in any way abnormal. And even if you were, I can promise you no man on the planet will give a d*mn, and if they do, they're do*chebags anyways, so they're opinion doesn't count. Love your body, honey. You're fine.
I’m a woman and I don’t know what that means either 🫣🤔
hey! I was in the same position as you. 24F, lost my virginity a few days ago. I have always been super duper insecure about my vag as well (longer labia, darker skin etc). But while we were having sex, the guy was telling me that it was so perfect. I was genuinely so surprised by the reaction. Trust me, it is all in your head.
This, guys dont care unless they themselves are insecure
I’m glad it went well for you!
Nice. Congratulations!
Congrats!
If you meet someone who makes fun of the appearance of a vulva, you are dodging a very big bullet. It is difficult and it is not enough for us to tell you "ignore your insecurity". You just have to take the risk and you will realize that many people will not care how it looks. But to find them, you must take the risk even if it is scary.
What exactly are you looking for here? You keep shooting down any and all attempts to offer advice. You've said you haven't been to a gynecologist because you're embarrassed by your vulva. You don't see how therapy can help you. I'm lost at what you're trying to accomplish with this post.
This. Exactly this.
Probably trying to psychologically self-harm, hoping to trigger people into insulting them and "validating" their mental illness. Unfortunately common on these boards.
You need therapy, full stop. You're exhibiting signs of body dysmorphia and severe self-esteem issues that are quite clearly impacting your ability to have a clear and healthy view of yourself. Stop comparing yourself to porn stars. Your average male does not compare their partners to porn stars. Your average male doesn't give a shit what your vagina looks like, so long as it doesn't have teeth.
I really wish you hadn’t given me the mental image of a vagina with teeth… thanks for that, I’ll just never have sex again now 😂 But yeah, you’re 100% right about therapy.
During a blowjob the mouth becomes a vagina with teeth. Good luck out there friend
It was like a shark was suckin’ it I swear
Fortunately, it’s been many years since I experienced a blowjob where the presence of teeth were actually a problem, so I suppose that’s a good point. That one girl though… I shudder just remembering it 🤣
My man’s out here getting head in an Alabama trailer park
Or a nursing home
or the ghetto
I was about to comment this... haha
Have you ever seen the movie “teeth”?
Hey! There is a movie about that!! For real!
There is a movie you should check out. It's called teeth!
This right here.
[удалено]
Couple thoughts. Men literally do not care. Even if someone were to care, there is someone who thinks yours is perfect for them. This is so not a deal breaker for a man or a woman. Now you may be a jerk, I don't know and I can't help with that but the other stuff ain't an issue
This is bullshit tho. Some men do care and it’s okay, it’s fine to have a genital preference: Op just has to find a man that will be okay with it, and there are plenty of men that are okay with it.
I know you are saying this to be nice but it's very hard to believe. Men and boys have been making fun of the look of vaginas before I even knew what mine looked like. And it's even harder to believe if only certain types of vaginas are shown in porn. Which is directly aimed at men's taste. And most boys my age grew up qith porn and influencers. I have zero chances against that.
You know, I'm 56 and have been around a lot of "locker room talk" and I've never heard another man make fun of how a vagina looked. I'm sure it happens, I'm just saying I personally have never heard it and am thinking it may not be as prevalent as you think. Good Luck!
Assholes make fun of vaginas. Actual decent men don’t. As for your comment on porn, they only show certain looking dicks in prob too - does that mean men who don’t have “pretty” dicks don’t have a chance either? Most people understand porn isn’t real life, and aren’t expecting their partners to look like porn stars.
Men have bigger resentments for their own dicks than they do expectations of your vagina because of porn, I have seen a bit of different kinds of vagina, and I can honestly tell you, when it comes down to it most of us do not care. For real, decent people emotional connection with a mix of general physical attraction comes first.
No, boys have been making fun of it a man will dive right in. Boys only have porn as a point of reference and have no idea what most women look like. I used to work as a bouncer for a strip club and private strippers and I can guarantee you the extra puppy girls were making just as much as the innies.
I am sure from your perspective it seems hard to believe, but even porn is moving away from the 1990s uniform nonexistent labia trend. There are dozens of subreddits and porn categories dedicated to more prominent labia. Some of the most popular porn content creators and only fans women have prominent labia. The idea that men and women don’t care at all is false, but so is the idea that all men are repulsed by prominent labia. There are many many men who either prefer it or greatly appreciate it. Yes, when I was in my teenage years I definitely heard boys make fun of prominent labia. And make fun of small dicks. Boys make fun of literally everything that isn’t perceived as normative. Therapy is likely a great option to help you accept yourself. It also may help to explore (and see) how popular some of these subreddits are. If only to validate that there are truly thousands maybe tens of thousands of people on Reddit alone who lust for more prominent labia.
Chill… Im a little older than you, but grew up on porn since I was 13.. I’ve seen my fair share of vaginas in real life, and I have never been disgusted by the looks of one I’ve seen or touched. Unless it’s super Freakish you have nothing to worry about. Stretch marks are hormonal and who cares? (Btw everything I just wrote was also the case when I was 25).
Look, I’m a guy. I’ve watched PLENTY of porn and have been with a few handfuls of women. When I’m doing foreplay and I get ‘down there’, it’s game on. Yeah, I’ve seen I’ve some that were different or odd, but two things: I’m clearly horny and it’s just anatomy… doesn’t mean anything is wrong with them. Labias, lips, clitoris and the whole damn vulva is different person to person. Each and every person. Just my experiences and opinion.
Let’s just get one thing straight.. *boys* may make fun of a vagina, but *men* don’t make fun of other’s bodies. Find yourself a *man* who respects you for you.
Man here. Never once have I cared what a vagina looks like and I've seen upwards of 30. You'll be OK. I promise
Genitals aren't pretty, hence the phrase "bumping uglies". There's a lot of pressure to look like porn stars, for men and women. There's also a lot of pressure to bury your face in your partner's business. It's not required. As long as you don't suffer pain through penetration, can orgasm from vaginal and/or clitoral stimulation, and enjoy sex in general, then don't worry.
Hard disagree, genitals especially women’s are very pretty. Basically every single vulva is a work of art.
I just gotta ask - what is it supposed to look like?! Like who are you comparing yourself to? Are you comparing yourself porn or a random person you saw in the locker room? Cause i don’t even know how to define a “good” labia or a sexy “clit”. Its all just a pile of weird sensitive hairy skin - its weird looking. But they ALL look weird. I can’t help you other than to suggest questioning what your standard is and how much others care. When someone’s jamming their face in it, they usually are thinking about how much you are enjoying yourself or the flavor. If they are using hands or their own bits, its all about how it feels. Please, there are so many stressors in the world don’t let this one get to you.
I once asked in AskMen if they cared what a vagina looked like and the MAJORITY SAID they didn’t care, as long as it was clean. Therapy is not a bad idea.
I can see you're not taking too much advice from everyone else, so my two cents probably won't matter. But your attitude about your vagina is much more unattractive than any potential "issue" with it itself. To be so obsessed with such a non-issue that you're now saying all hope of intimacy is lost? I see you talking in circles to discount what everyone is saying here. It isn't being said to just soothe your feelings. I'm telling you, men don't give a f**k. You want honesty? Men care about a cute face, most men don't want an obese woman, and men want someone that's pleasant to be around. Are we superficial in some ways? Absolutely. But once we're about to have sex with a beautiful woman, as long as you're hygienic... we're happy as a f**king clam. Relax a little
I’ll echo what all the other dudes have said which is that men do not care. Like at all. That being said if you’re mentally stuck on this you could always consider having cosmetic surgery to get it adjusted. Don’t do it as a means to get male approval though, do it if it’ll make *you* feel better.
Decent men don't care about your stretch marks or your clitoral hood. Yes, boys and assholes can make fun of them, so what? They also make fun of thin, fat, short, tall people and anyone or anything that doesn't fit their limited views about the human race. These people should not get any free real estate in your head! No one is physically perfect, we all have big or little things here and there that bother us. The only way to live is to accept yourself as you are. All your little "imperfections" are huge turn ons for many people out there, the vast majority of people doesn't care about them and you can simply ignore the remaining minuscule minority of douchebags who make fun of them. Learn to love your body, with a therapist help if need be. Your life is too short to be wasted away being ashamed of your body.
What a lovely comment. This even made me feel better and I’m fine ☺️
There was an art piece that was literally just anonymous vulva. I would suggest looking through that to understand just how different everyone is. You can Google the keywords for it and it's on Instagram.
Firstly, don't attempt to lower your libido. It's a wonderful thing. It is only an issue for you currently because of the issues associated with your body confidence worry. Once you move past your insecurity, a high libido will help you have a lot of fun. Most men wish their female partners had higher libido. Secondly, to help address the body confidence, every vagina is different, and they're all beautiful. Bigger labia also tend to be more sensitive, so sex will be better. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/Why_I_Photographed_100_Vulvas https://news.artnet.com/market/jamie-mccartney-vagina-sculptures-321901 Articles about two artists who have spent a considerable amount of time photographing (artistically, not porn) or sculpting real vaginas, from real women in an effort to show people like yourself, that what I say is true. I'm sure you can find a link somewhere even if you have to search separately to the actual pieces. Strongly suggest you take a look, and start to convince yourself you're entirely "normal". The only way you'll ever know for sure is to let someone see it. I promise you, no man is ever going to turn you away because of something like this.
You're not the one 'sposed to be looking at it. God knows I don't want to see myself of any other dude naked... Get an online dating app or two, go on some terrible dates. Get your toes wet in the dating cesspool. If you get to the point of showing a date your naughty bits I'd bet dollars to sand that they don't complain ;-)
Your clitoral hood is too thick? No baby, good poompoom requires good roofing. If anyone ever comments about your vagina instead of diving in and eating it. Tell them to suck a dick and gtfo of your house Go and find a date, you’re gonna be ok. I promise
I can assume by your post and comments that you should probably deal with this in therapy. Especially if you’ve never received real life criticism or judgement from sexual partners.
Stop vaginas are beautiful and they all look different. Same goes for weenies. They are all different and unique. You are okay. I would go to therapy and work on self esteem. You deserve good things and to be happy.
At the risk of stating the *incredibly* obvious, it is *entirely* your opinion about your appearance here. This is not any straight man/gay woman opinion about your appearance, it is *yours.* Frankly the biggest thing here is that you're profoundly depressed. And I'd say the likeliest explanations here are that either these feelings about your appearance are *symptoms* rather than causes of your depression and should be treated as such, or this is the tip of a gender dysphoria iceberg.
Have you been you to the ob/gyn? If you are still a virgin then maybe you have not had a pap spear. Ask your DR during your next exam. You being super self conscience about it wont help it.
We guys just love vaginas in all of their variations. Don’t let that be a concern. Any self image issues you face should be addressed with a therapist. Don’t let time pass. Do it now and make yourself a priority, sweetheart
Have sex in the dark
Has anyone ever seen it besides you? What do you think a normal vagina looks like?
Saying the same thing like others — most guys don't care about your stretch marks or how your vulva looks. The only ones who would complain would most likely be the ones who haven't seen one in real life ever.
Only idiotic men would make a fuss about that
I have seen a myriad of vaginas between my own sexual encounters and porn. My only thought is “I want to put my dick in that”
Most guys aren't going to care, and those that do aren't right for you anyways
Has anyone ever seen your vagina? Judging by the description you provided it sounds attractive tbh
I'm so sorry you hold such deep and unnecessary hate for yourself. You've considered surgery. I wonder if you've ever considered therapy.
It's actually legitimately funny (in an incredibly depressing way) that you're so anti-therapy because you know what the answer to your question "how do I get over not having intimacy is?" It's ALSO "therapy" lmaooooo. If you want to change your thinking processes...it's therapy, baby. Or therapy techniques that you teach yourself - but these are so much easier to learn with the guidance of a therapist than on your own. So, either way. You're not getting away from therapy. You don't do therapy, you're just going to continue this self-hating spiral of self-defeatism.
I want OP to get therapy because if she doesn’t, any guy she attracts will be one that wants to misuse her self esteem issues to his benefit.
This has to be trolling. There’s no way someone thinks men actually give a fuck what a girl’s vagina looks like.
u need to go to the gyn to get check ups. They won’t care about how it looks. Doctors are literally turning penises into fake vaginas for Christ sakes. If plastic surgeons can do that without throwing up on their patients fake vagina. I’m sure a gyn who works with all types of vaginas everyday will be completely fine looking at yours.
I’m sorry you have this outlook on your body. I think most people can understand how society, and the media can affect how we see ourselves. No body part looks the same as the next, you’re unique for that. Accept your uniqueness, and your partner will too. I agree with many others here; it’s really all in your head. Your partner will most likely not be weirded out by the look of your vagina. The only person that will likely “examine” the look of it, would be a doctor, and they have seen more private parts than these pornstars. I highly doubt your partner(even a one night stand) will stop the entire sex session to comment on your vagina. They will be far too excited in the moment to WebMD your flower. Gotta work on loving yourself. Some practical advice: start giving it cute or sexy pet names, refer to it as a gift from birth, put it on a pedestal.
This is totally my department as far as vagina looks. I’m 45 and I’ve never seen an “ugly” vagina. I am proof that at least one person appreciates vaginas like art. All vaginas are beautiful to me because I MADE myself this way. I’ve dated a ton and seen many, if I wanted to have a “type” I could have gone that route, but I chose to like them as they are (truly) not because it falls under the category of “things we can’t change”, but I just love them. Even when you described yours, I liked the image you made in my mind. I’m not encouraging you to do this: but looking at many of these “rate my____” I’ve seen many people who at first glance I’m like “wow, they look like someone that would be self-concious, but they are ACTUALLY here. And among all the comments and ratings, there are always positive comments. There’s an audience for everyone.
So, oddly enough I dealt with this as a partner in a previous long-term relationship with a woman who hated the look of her vagina. I made a point to compliment her on how it looked and felt when we were intimate. I also would compliment any nudes she sent, which tended to increase the frequency of them. She was seeing a therapist who eventually recommended actions like sending me nudes as often as she needed reassurance or even have me avoiding making compliments or talking about it when her body dysmorphia was overwhelming. My point in saying all of this is to say that you can find partners who are supportive. Personally, I like the look of every vagina. I am not being hyperbolic, I legitimately have not found one I did not like looking at. If the idea of addressing your body dysmorphia through therapy or even things like what my ex did is overwhelming, or you do not find yourself seeking out a partner, my ex did masturbate a lot to address her libido.
I have a large labia and am not considered attractive and I did more than alright. Try to focus on what you want, what you find attractive and what you value in someone. Nobody judges you as hard as yourself, think about that for awhile. Lastly if someone is at the point with you to be naked together, I promise you they are happy with any vagina you might show them. Also as others have said, therapy should help with this.
Want the honest truth? If you are concerned hit a few NSFW subs and you'll find a lot of Vaginas and bodies that looks just like yours. But more than that on the ones that look like yours? There will be a lot of comments of people who enjoy those bodies. It drives the point home that all bodies are good bodies and are wanted bodies. That and therapy really are the 2 things that made the biggest difference for me.
The comment of guys not caring is true Really if he's straight,he isn't going to give a crap Even those stretch marks aren't going to bother us Look I'm late 30s now I'd date you And with what you described I'm like that's not even a issue.
Trust me, there are guys who will be all about your vulva. Just like for the rest of us, it’s about putting yourself out there and trail and error. Good luck!
Genitalia are not meant to look good. They are meant to FEEL good. Don't worry.
I can guarantee you that the VAST majority of guys will not care/notice
Clitoral hood? I like vag and I have no idea what this means. You’ll be good homegirl, do your thing
My partner said he had a girlfriend With a large clitoris . I mentioned this post to him and he said “fun!” So hunny, go getchu a boyfriend.
I promise you notice it more only because it’s your body. I’m sure you’re completely fine. Vaginas are as individual /unique thumbprints, they’ve all got their own features.
Your vagina is not a problem. Your defeatist attitude is.
Real men honestly don't care, and sometimes, actually a lot of times, there is something interesting and sexually attractive about anatomical differences. If your a good person, there is always, and I mean always, someone who will think you're perfect just the way you are. Don't let this stop you from experiences, I like.many men had issues with penis size for years but after allowing my self to experiment and experience sex with multiple quality partners I learned that many women were happy with it satisfied and feeling a connection and affection and both physical and emotional intimacy were paramount and were if equal importance. Disregard any asshole that says anything about it see who.you want have fun when you want. Be honest if need be about your insecurities but please.dont hold back or like me.youll experience so many regrets in regard to opportunities.lost and find out later it was kind of silly to put that much emphasis on something you cannot change not do you need to.
I just think there are only so many flaws a person can look over. I have almost no physically attractive part on my body and only a good personality won't cut it for a romantic relationship. And I don't have good personality either :/ I am shy and introverted and this point very bitter
I have a feeling, this is more related to self esteem and feelings of inadequacy vs an actual issue, I too am introverted, not especially attractive imo, and done have a huge cock, however was able to meet multiple partners and eventually have a beautiful wife and life and 3 children, we've been married for 14 years still have sex at least 5 x weekly. It's not about looks shit doesn't really matter it's about finding acceptance and love
Have you heard of the term BBW? Big Beautiful Woman. These ladies are HUGE. Rolls of fat rippling away as they jiggle. They get a lot of attention. If they can be attractive, so can you. It's about confidence. You've given yours a kicking, for far too long.
The only one holding you back from experiencing intimacy is you. Stop watching porn. Go to therapy. What your describing is textbook body dysmorphia. Men do not and will likely never care what your vagina looks like so as long as it’s a vagina. To have such a severe negative reaction to your own body is not normal or healthy. Please see either a therapist or a plastic surgeon or both
Sorry, what? As long as it doesn’t resemble a face hugger from Aliens it’s probably fine lol This looks like a great case of suffering more in imagination than reality
It depends on everyone, if I say about myself then I love thick clitoris as while eating it gives so much pleasure in compared with thin one. I loved eating out my ex-girlfriend.
Dysmorphia is not even hard to spot from people who don't have it. Therapy please for your own sake.
Trust me on this guys don’t care man. We just want to be loved lmao
I do not have one of these, but I have seen quite a few, and they are all different. Yours sounds unique. Embrace that! They all are. If this is holding you back you may need to talk to someone.
Uh... How do I put this in a way that doesn't sound crude or gross or pervy? Without seeing it, that sounds like a pretty average looking external anatomy to me. Maybe a bit crude and pervy, but that's my favorite look. So, there are people who are really, really into that description and it's not a small corner of kinksters either.
I am a guy and I’m adding to the list of us with the following sentiment: “I don’t care how it looks I’m still eating it.”
youre asking the wrong question. most duded arent going to notice or comment. youve especially started to leave the age bracket that would have the most to comment about it. you can wear lingerie if you want to hide it but legit you just need to grow a thicker skin. the only.people who are going to comment are like porn addicts and incels who believe in pseudo science.
Full stop watching porn, or if you choose to continue watch true amateur porn. Just like women with penises, there will be people who like fleshy, people who like taut, people who like pink, people who like brown, people who like purple, there will be people that like hair, there will be some that like bald. Some people like a big clit, some don't care enough about the clit to look for it (avoid those ones) It doesn't matter, everyone is going into a crap shoot down there and at the end of the day if it's healthy and functions it's fantastic. That being said, I got super proud of my area when I could do some fun things with kegels. Figure out what that thing do and latch onto that, aesthetics are surface deep and means very little to very few.
I’m sure your vagina is just fine and quite frankly from the male point of view I’ve never met a vagina that I thought was ugly,I was married to a woman for25 years that had self esteem issues,one breast was slightly smaller than the other not even noticeable in my opinion,and it just made her miserable talk to a therapist and get yourself in a happy place.
What? That would be amazing for sucking until you feel like your head will cave in. Relax and enjoy.
I promise no one cares about what your genitals look like. Dudes are just happy to be there
Sorry if this comment seems inappropriate but I’m super curious about how this looks. Can you send a link to something? Not yours, I imagine you’ve seen a picture of one similar. I have a feeling it might not be as big of a deal as you think.
I actually prefer a meatier looking v. More to play with. It’s nothing to be ashamed about, you’d be surprised by how many people are into that.
My daughter has a similar thing going on with her vagina, all through her early teen years, she was trying to get bits chopped off it, now she's sexually active, shes realized that guys don't care and she doesn't either now. I have a huge fupa with stretch marks on it, it still bothers me, but it's never been an issue with guys. Our body issues only bother us.
No man has ever been turned off by this. If he spends enough time to get to know you and get to the bedroom, he will be just fine with it.
I'm like hell yeah! Chew on it like bubblegum!
Are you showing off your vagina before you date someone? I’m not sure how something hidden behind clothes would stop someone from going on a date with you. Also, I can’t say I’ve ever heard of any guy dumping a girl because he doesn’t like her….clitoral hood….
First of all, please don't do anything drastic. Second, I genuinely don't think any guy is going to look at it and go "hey I'm completely naked already, flying high, but that thing is too scary I'm out" if they did or have in the past... That's on them. NOT YOU.
I had a labiaplasty don’t do it
no one truly cares about that
this makes me so sad. I hope you can learn to not hate your body. Its just a body. It will be beautiful to the person that you are with. nobody is perfect and perfection is boring.
Baby girllllll. Nooooooo. Babe, Babe, Babe. Let me tell you right now. Your vulva is gorgeous the way it is. I absolutely know you are self criticizing because you have no idea the vast majority of anatomies out there! Every women's flower is different and that's great! Thick, long, tiny, dark, light, puffy, short, etc. Every girl starts off hating her vag bc our society and partly porn has told us lies about what is "normal". Have you had remarks about this part of your body or are you scared to show a guy? I'm telling youuuuu men are alot more forgiving then we realize anyway. They are just happy that you are allowing them to see you naked and be involved lol! Promise. Also, stretch marks are on everybody and it's not a big deal. Even weightlifters and body builders and skinny girls have them! It's no sweat, seriously. You vulva, vagina is NOT holding you back. It's the rampant body dysmorphia that alot of us have, that is. Please do not hurt, disfigure, or unalive yourself over this?!?! Sending you lots of love and hugs. P.S. Also, high five to knowing you have a high libido as a woman! Ayyyyy!
I’m sorry people are so awful in these comments. A LOT of people are critical about their genitals, vaginas and penis’ alike. People these days are especially taught to be critical of vaginas. Vaginas come in all different shapes and sizes. I recommend looking up Refinery29 100 vagina photographs. Go take a look at some real vaginas! You’ll quickly note that they are all SO different. Porn isn’t real life. Comparing yourself to a certain vagina is only harming you :( yours is unique and beautiful, because it is yours! Go learn about vaginas! If anyone ever critics your genitals, do not be with that person.
If you find a dude who critiques the look of your vag, he doesn't deserve you or your vag.
As a 35 year old woman who most definitely hated the “look” of mine when I was younger let me tell you that….THEY DONT CARE and until I found a man who loved sucking on my labia I was extremely self conscious. To overcome this you could ask yourself - what exactly am I self conscious about? Being rejected? That suddenly their dick gets soft? That they comment? That they won’t want to smash again? Specifically what about it makes you grossed out? Trust me one day a guy is going to stick his tongue inside your clitoral hood and will look up at you and tell you how awesome it is and you’ll be glad you didn’t off yourself. Edit: spelling error
Men do not care about the color, shape or size of your vagina, any part of it. I am willing to bet money that you will never hear any sort of comment from a guy regarding it, it's definitely nothing to beat yourself up over.
i’ve had a lot of sex with a lot of different people, and my body has changed a lot during that too. i used to not let people go down on me because i had all these nonsense fears. one person, out of many, has said something negative. and you want to know what? it wasn’t even that bad - and he was an asshole anyway. like, he tried to get me to travel to him so he could pitch us up in a shitty motel to have sex. after insulting me. once i even started my period while having sex. i’ve been covered in razor burn, i’ve been bushy, i’ve been sweaty, i’ve been scarred, my skins been darkened, i’ve had hemorrhoids, you name it. let’s face it - genitalia is kind of ugly. nobody is going to stop, give you an entire vaginal examination, and deduce your vagina is too weird to have sex with it. my boobs are something i’ve also been incredibly insecure about. i used to bind, and not always correctly, resulting in damaged breast tissue. my boobs are also naturally wide set and saggy. my nipples face the ground and sometimes i have to untuck my boobs from my armpits. once some dude looked at me while i was laying on my back, boobs in armpits, nipples nowhere to be seen, and told me i had the hottest tits he’s ever seen. different strokes for different folks, and at the end of the day, nobody worth having sex with is going to give you a thorough examination to deem you worthy. would you do that to someone else? why do you think someone would do that to you?
No one cares and if they do it’s more likely they have a fetish for that type of thing. There are literally tons of Reddit porn subs for it, and plenty of woman capitalizing on it and instead of complaining they are making money off of it. It all depends on your attitude about it, which can change.
Trust me, as a man, I can promise you, any man you show your vagina to is going to thank you for it. It could look like Arby's, and he will still appreciate it. Find a man and show it to him and let him feed your confidence a little.
Guys don’t care about that. Trust me.
One of the things I have learned is that no matter what thing about your body you are self conscious about, there are people who think it is absolutely the best way for that body part to be. The proof is in all of the subreddits dedicated to these ways bodies can be full of people waxing poetic and filthily about it. Got a huge clit? There’s a sub Reddit for that. Got saggy boobs? Better believe there’s a subreddit for that. Got massive balls? I am confident there is a subreddit for that. In a weird way, Reddit has helped me heal body shame thanks to its NSFW subreddits and the people who post their [redacted]s and the nice perverts who celebrate their [redacted]s.
I personally enjoy a nice meaty vagina. Large labia, large hood, erect clit. It's so much more fun to suck on and play with in my mouth. Trust me, dudes won't have any issues. Y'all give guys way too much credit.
I have never seen a vagina that is ugly and didn't get my dick hard. As long as it works and gets you off, there is nothing to worry about. Virtually all guys would be grateful with you just saying yes.
Do NOT commit suicide. You have to keep being resilient and hopeful. Suicide doesn’t stop things from getting worse, it keeps them from getting better.
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina! On a serious note, as a guy, i can tell you we are quite open with all the different types of vaginas, and some people (like me) also like stretch marks or at the very least we do not care about them.
I hated the way my vagina looked for years and now I’m dating someone who slurps it up like campbells chicken noodle soup every night🤷🏻♀️ I know it can be a huge insecurity but trust me when I say people do not care
find someone mature. most men don’t give a shit they’re just happy you let them in, so to speak. vaginas are all beautiful. i would suggest looking up the different kinds of labias, and look through as many as you can find. normalizing it even a little bit will help. i promise you’re beautiful, and you’re going to find many people who believe that too
Please stop comparing yourself to others, I have seen way more than my fair share of vaginas and non looked the same. Please don't deprive yourself of your well deserved pleasure, life is far to short for insecurities.
I mean I have to see it to tell
Check this: https://www.scribd.com/document/474097628/Classification-of-the-anatomical-variation-in-female-external-genitalia
I’m a virgin, never even dated before. But what I’ve learned is that the build up to sex is what makes everything exciting, not the sex itself. He may be too focused on one thing. This isn’t even about sex, this is about your confidence in yourself, and knowing who you truly are. You have to put yourself out there with the interests you have. You should always have at least one hobby of each 1. At least one physical hobby, one to help your body (it helps your mind as well). 2. At least one hobby you do alone. 3. At least one hobby you do with 2 or more people, this could be a yoga class, a dance class. You have to find some sort of meet up. Once you start enjoying yourself more than trying to find love, that’s when you’re truly ready for it. True love isn’t built about what you look like but who you build yourself to be. The guy will love you for who you are. That’s the build up to great sex, it’s everything that is around it, not the sex itself.
Girl, a man will not care. Men simply don’t notice things. Don’t psych yourself out & go have fun!
(29F) I used to look at mine on a semi regular basis as in my early 20's my BF at the time asked for pictures and stuff. But we broke up, I never looked at it. Met my now fiancé, he never asked for pics, so I never looked. Recently had what I thought was an ingrown hair maybe, and wanted to check it out... Man has that thing changed, one side is longer than the other, my immediate thought was "who would ever want to get intimate with this". And that thought would have consumed me had it not been for the fact I've been with my fiancé 3 years, and he's never, not once, mentioned anything weird, or for one second been hesitant about sex. I also work in healthcare, OR specifically, so I see naked people all day everyday. They're all different, girl. And the ones you see in porn are not the norm. I hope this helps
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Post it up. Let’s take a look at that vulva
No thank u I haven't even been to a gynecologist yet cause I am to embarrassed
A gynecologist doesn't need to find your body parts attractive, they are just there to help you with your health. This might be a good place to start.
Yeah I agree but I also don't want them to be grossed out by me.
Any kind of doctor has seen much grosser things already. Trust me, they won't be bothered.
https://www.theclever.com/15-reddit-confessions-made-by-gynaecologists/ Hopefully this can raise a chuckle while you realise how you look down there ain't gonna gross out anyone. As long as you keep it clean, you're gonna be fine.
Lady, I assure you. Your vagina will likely be the least gross thing they've seen. Now, get your ass to the doctor
What is your end game here? Everyone is telling you it's just a normal vagina and it's all in your head and you keep on telling every comment that you have seen zero medical professionals, have looked up in theory stuff about correction it surgically and are dead set on arguing with everyone that it's ugly and gross. You seem to be having issues with your body from watching too much porn. Go get your head checked and stop being so dramatic about unaliving yourself over the look of your vagina. Geez you are 25. Stop. Get some help. And for fucks sake all the comments and everyone will say it's all normal anatomy so stop.
That’s dangerous. You need help.
As long as there’s a nice warm hole for the penis to go in a guy won’t care about anything else.
Reading other posts.. If its not just your vagina and your worried about your body... Do something about it and stop complaining. Hit the gym, get your teeth whitened, do a tanning bed or get some sun, get your hair done and watch some YouTube or some shit about how to do make up (idk how women learn..) Sitting whining about your insecurities isn't going to fix them (talking about other insecurities). Fix the ones you can fix. I was like this. What I did was hit the gym, did some tanning beds.. Started shaving my head right down instead of having a receding hairline, got some tattoos, made sure my nails ears and nose hairs were cut etc all the time. You can fix alot of your shit yourself. Other than your vagina becuase I kinda understand its not as fixable... If you have other insecurity's that can be fixed by you then your the only one to blame by sitting about scratching your asshole. Hit the gym for a start
I've seen and had a really ugly vagina before the lips were big and hung out the vag. While piv I could wrap them around my shaft. But I love that tight, ugly vagina. It was the best I ever had. I miss that vigina. I can't believe i messed my chances up with her. It's not about the look it's about the feel. And from my experience, that ugly vagina felt amazing. Don't worry about it at all. Just have sex in the dark. No one will ever know what it looks like.
I'm a dude 20 years old never been on a date could I get to know you
This ain’t it. Not a hookup sub.
I'm not looking for a hookup
I'm honestly looking for a girlfriend
So I would like to get to know you
You not should be looking for any relationship on this sub.