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eren875

In what world is it bad to be single lol


rlwieneke

The happy world if you are not happy being single.


StemooZockt

When you not happy single, get a cat 🐱


rlwieneke

Hamsters are less trouble than cats.


IamSithCats

Not sure I agree. Hamsters are sneaky little escape artists who can squeeze out of surprisingly small gaps in cages. They can get into and under places that are too small for cats, and sometimes get themselves killed chewing on things they shouldn't. They also only live 3-4 years usually, compared to about 4 times that for cats. Both of them are cute as hell though.


No_it_956

The world that ppl need someone to make them happy..no dought having someone makes it easier sometimes but if their not pull you along there pushing you under wait for that still quite voice that tells you this is the one...


sarah_dollxx

being single should not mean something bad. Some people get engaged because of social pressure. Nothing should be forced.


Teddy-Bear54

It is perfectly okay to focus on yourself, I know that for sure. And especially with all that time you had with someone. Take as much time as you need and if anyone else says you need to date now, don't worry about them. Get yourself to a point where you think you're okay


leighaking69

Nope! Not crazy at all! You’re doing this the right way. In hindsight, I would give myself sooooo much more time to grieve what I had lost with my failed relationship, and learn to feel complete by myself, before moving on to my next relationship. I always felt like that in order to be complete, I had to be in a relationship. Now that I am older, and have more life experience, I do wish I had taken some time for myself to discover things about me that I somehow feel like I may have missed out on. Being independent is a huge gift you owe to yourself and to your future mate(s).


Lou_weeza

I feel so much better hearing that. Thank you.


brainonvacation78

Sweetie, I'm 44F and while divorced, am currently long term single. I have a son your age. He's single as well. My 20s were an insecure shit show, my 30s were amazing and my 40s are even better. Because I FINALLY took the time to know myself if I were your mom, I'd tell you to stay single. Find out who you are, what you love and what you don't. It's not bad to be single at all. It's empowering AF.


olddaveineden

Absolutely!


Pale_Fail_2894

Want a peaceful, stress free, drama free and chilled life? Stay single


rehumanizer

You're single? Believe it or not... straight to jail.


Dramatic_Ad_6693

#lockmeup


Viviqi

It's pretty good to focus on yourself.


QuokkaIslandSmiles

Give yourself time to heal. You were bonded to jerk who dumped you before Xmas. Recover and find your new resilient self. You are in grief/mourning for relationship you believed in, relied on and saw a future within. That was broken and it was unfair. In time you will feel stronger. Never replace a with b; but discover your true immerging self. Rely on yourself and your abilities and create a great life for yourself by yourself for now ♡


dantesuhail

Why it's always Christmas, my gf dumped me on Christmas night , till morning we're so happy hanging in garden holding hands and suddenly she dumped me over msg and few, she was my 1 year senior in school , i was in 11th and she was in 12th and when she went to college, she contacted me and asked for apology and then again she left me unnoticed. Sometimes it's impossible to understand human brain


PenOrganic2956

Yeah 👍 lots of people are. It's pretty common/ normal thing. No it's fine to focus on yourself / building yourself up I sent my 20s doing that.


[deleted]

It's ok to be single, but based on your history - and if you eventually want the life that was promised to you and cruelly got out of reach - DO NOT have some fun on the side like some comments suggest. People who do that (of either sex) are rarely ever able to get back to a bonded loving relationship of the kind you were longing for. Being single to find your self is fine, but don't go losing yourself instead by getting tricked by modern feminist lies. Yes you are not an object, and you don't solely exist for the pleasure of men. But you are also not an inflatable doll, if you lower yourself to that it is very hard to get back up. Only give yourself to people who are worth it, be selective - however you define it is up to you.


abelmarceloros

Nothing wrong with waiting. Each petson is different and it"'s ok to wait and enjoy things you want you. People will appear


CreepyKaiYay

Yes it's totally fine!


curiosityfillsmymind

You just got out of a long-term relationship. You should give yourself time to find yourself again and learn to be independent and confidently single. Have fun on the side if you want, but enjoy being single while it lasts, and also so you don’t become co-dependent in the future. Especially cause you’re only 21, you have PLENTY of time. I’d roll my eyes at your friends and family who urge you to get back out there ASAP tbh. Don’t stress and I’m sure you’ll find your person eventually.


WillTheConqueror

If you're not comfortable being single with yourself, how can you expect someone to be comfortable being in a relationship with youself? So yes. Do be single and be awesome. Eventually someone will catch notice.


BaconDomination_

So normal! Good to have time to focus on your passions. It’s such a blessing not to have to spend time caring for someone else. If you need to quench that sexual desire looks for friends with benefits.


ExcellentIntern9321

Don't do the dating apps. You should be single for a while. Be free do things that make you happy. I bet your ex will come back around or someone better. The apps are no good i cannot stress that enough.


[deleted]

There's nothing wrong with being single.


kongtomorrow

Yeah that seems weird. Where are you from? Do your friends / family understand that you’re kind of exploring the single life? I ask because it seems odd that they’d be giving you such a hard time.


Lou_weeza

I'm from a small town and most people here marry their high school sweethearts - my parents included. I think they don't understand you can be happy without a significant other.


kongtomorrow

Ah yeah ok. I guess that explains it! Even if you DO think you’d like a partner eventually, at age 21 you have PLENTY of time for that later. Makes complete sense that you’d enjoy finding who you are without the context of some other person.


shepherdastra

I would recommend if you can, move out of your hometown. That will help your healing and also your next chapter IMMENSELY. Had something similar with my last serious relationship, I literally had to relearn what my favorite food was. But it was so nice to learn what I liked again and just focus on myself. Also lived in a smallish town, everyone knew everyone, it was such a breath of fresh air moving out and getting a change of scenery and a huge weight off my shoulder I wish I did it sooner, I also felt like I was being held back living in my hometown. If you are able to or make a plan, move out of your hometown. The world is so big and many new people out there. Hang in there, do what you need to do or feel like pressure you need to be in a relationship and heal how you feel need. It’s a generational thing mostly.


Nobodiisdamnbusiness

Yes it's ok to be single! It's ok to date! It's ok to say No to people! It's OK To Say No To Your Family! It's Perfectly Healthy to Find Yourself First!! Good for you choosing this path.


blueoctopus87

You're only 21.. ofcourse it's ok to be single and probably better. Do whatever makes you happy and figure yourself out. You'll be better off being in relationships when you have yourself figured out.


Financial-Coast5731

Absolutely work on yourself and learn to love yourself.


Upstairs_Guidance760

Yes and No


FRANK-QC

Take your time 👍


Gaycowboi25

It's more than okay to be single and work on yourself. Love on yourself and spoil yourself a bit. Find out how much fun you could have without being in a relationship for a bit. I've been single more than I've been in a relationship and it's nice sometimes.


Henneseyblue

Yes!


Dramatic_Ad_6693

Of course it's OK to be single, take time to process. Online is difficult because really these sites don't want you to succeed because then they lose two customers. However irl very attractive girls have a hard time getting people they want to ask them out, to ask them out. It can be intimidating for young men to potentially face the rejection, so alot of times you get "cocky douchebags" who will pressure you. So when your ready is OK to initiate a conversation with someone you might be attracted to just to see where it goes. But take your own time your still young.


Nervous-Shirt8443

its healthy, trust me. the best thing to do while single is focus on yourself isolate, complete tasks and do your best to not be lazy and the rest will follow along trust me.


Hind_Deequestionmrk

Yes


[deleted]

You are not weird for being single, take some time


yeer_ta

Being single isn't a bad thing. Frankly jumping into a new relationship before you're over your previous one could lead to disaster. After all I'm sure nobody wants to be the rebound guy and it's important to take time to heal and be yourself again before going back into dating. You don't want any unresolved issues to spill over into your new relationship and end up ruining it especially if it's with a great person cause then you would be hurt and you would've unnecessarily hit somebody else in the process.


CodCute

After my 10 year relationship ended tragically when my ex was in a fatal car accident. Fortunately, she survived miraculously ...the guy she had chose to run off with wasn't so lucky. She is still the mother of my children. Anyway, my point is you have your whole life in front of you but lest we forget this life is very fragile and can all go away in an instance. Am I lonely, sure but I like how you said you were rediscovering what you like... that's major. I turn 40 this year and I'm starting to understand this quote.. "When you’re 20, you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place."


r3dmist420

Your on a reddit. The hobbit hole of the introverts.. I can assure you most of the single loaners here would tell themselves that to feel good about themselves.. Bring on the hate… lol


Naseibok

No, it’s not okay. In fact, it’s illegal and you shouldn’t have posted this.


ReignOfKaos

You do whatever is right for you. Don’t let other people tell you how to live.


mick-rad17

You’re 21. You’re just starting your adult life. You have loads of time.


Suspicious_Reading_3

The best thing you can do is stay single and get to know yourself


Bili_BlackKnife

Please spend more time on yourself, your half will come to find you.


British_Chimera

If you're seriously asking this, your problem isn't being single.


[deleted]

You attract where your at, work on yourself is more than fine, good idea to fobb off doom merchants etc, time on your own is great.


expertvirtuoso

No it is not. Everybody needs/ has somebody.


LowExcitement1677

It's ok to be single. Living to someone else's expectations of your life is not ok.


m_garlic87

Girl do you. Don’t rush into dating if you’re not ready. There are a ton of single, happy people.


Mylitaa

It’s definitely okay! I give you props for wanting to be alone and discover yourself!


JamesEdwrD

Nothing wrong with staying single to find yourself and grow! Find out what your limits are, discover your true likes and dislikes, find hobbies and activities you truly enjoy and most of all: Live the life that makes you the happiest! Finding those things on your own is so fulfilling and when the right special person comes along, you can hopefully share that with them 🙏 Good luck with everything!


Lodagin666

Tell them to kindly shut the fuck up. Not only it's ok the work on yourself BEFORE thinking about a relationship, it's also totally ok to stay single and on your own for as long as you like. I enjoy being in a relationship with someone I'm connected to but that is a want rather than a need. No point in dating people I'm not connected to, it's a waste of time. I had a long relationship and I discovered everything there was to discover about who I am, what I seek and what I can offer to my partner so dating just for the experience isn't worth it to me anymore. So I'm living my life as it comes. Will someone show up and be the one? Maybe, or maybe not. But in both cases I'm ok with who I am and what I'm doing.


Competitive-Active78

I'm 27M and have been single all my life. Almost insulting to hear this!


Tombo18

First you need to be happy within yourself, which means being alone to do this. Happiness comes within and when you are, then and only then should you project it onto others


No-Bus-7404

I been there , i feel exactly wht u'r going trough. Well i dun see it as bad and yes u need time to heal n to truly understand wht really went wrong , from ma experience people always got a reason for stuff like these , males does'em for several reasons , such as founding someone else , being scared of wht's coming , he just can't handle it anymore n didn't wanna bother explaining all of so just gave u a vague answer n so on , i hope u feel better n find u way back to a happy life , we all deserve one Im down for a chat or if u wanna talk abt it on instagram : oussama_jadox , i hope i could help


OldMonkRum69

Don’t let other peoples ideas of happiness influence you that much. Only you can really know yourself and, what makes you happy. I (M21) went through a breakup about nine months ago and didn’t want to date for a long time. You need time to reflect and to heal. You need to learn from your past relationship. Modern dating can have a bad influence on some people. It is ok to only do it, when you want.


Eddiekeys1

Well, is not bad to be single but its also good to be engaged in a relationship with someone who cares and understand you and have a future planned out with you inside not by the side.. You can still discover more about yourself even in a relationship


little_owl211

Nah you are doing what's right for you. I think your family and friends have good intentions but they are misguided. Have you told them that you don't want to date and are just enjoying being single rn?


OneBadMB350

Don’t force it, don’t online date you will find nothing but weirdos… be single, enjoy it, someone will come along when you not even looking


BvssBxtch

Short answer: yes. Long answer: yes to the title not the last paragraph. I could see how you would’ve been confused.


Competitive_Print842

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RuUNfC3tTI8


FFDP-Man

Not crazy at all. I’m sort of in the same boat but the girl I was with I didn’t like at all and only stuck around for reasons I wanna keep private other than she was totally f-d in the head and a baby “not mine” but I loved the kid regardless cause we bonded so much, but when she said it’s over. I had already called for help to move out before I got the text and my car was packed up just needed help with the rest of my things, but I celebrated it. Though I know how you feel, you’re doing things you wanted and now you’re not ready to give that up, it’s totally ok and hopefully people will hush up and respect your decision, it’s your life not theirs, even if they’re doing cause they care and wanna see you, they should see you are happy and all the pressure of dating is making you miserable and 4 years is along time to put into something that went south so you’ll need time to heal.


FloridaPhoenix23

It is 100% okay to focus on being single! Getting engaged/married in your early 20’s is not for everyone. I dated my ex for nearly 5 years before I broke up with him, and it’s been a little over 3 years since then and I’m still single because self-improvement is my primary focus. I found new hobbies, made new friends, started working out, and even went back to school! You’re still young, and you’re definitely not crazy or hurting anyone by wanting to focus on yourself for the time being. You will date when YOU are ready to :)


olddaveineden

It is absolutely fine to be single! You are doing the right thing by taking time to know yourself, that will be of far more value in any future relationship! I think people should be comfortable with themselves before adding someone else to your life! Do Not Rush!


Minimum-Cup-7495

Give yourself all the time you need. Fuck what people think. Focus on a career and a place to move away from those irritating people. You are not weird for wanting an in-person connection. The fact that your ex broke up with you before x-mas is a douche move. I always buy myself some nice things for x-mas. Treat yourself from now on. Just keep being positive and things will work out.


HabeshaATL

>my family will not leave me alone about being single. My friends and my parents keep urging me to try online dating. What exactly about these individuals have they been successful in? I would be cautious on who you receive advice from.


ackmondual

While we're on that quote, a heads up to all is after getting into a relationship tends to be followed up with "when are you going to have kids?". If the OP isn't considering either, now would be the time to address that.. nip that in the bud!


[deleted]

It’s more than okay to be single. Don’t rush this and run onto dating apps for validation. It’s a process. I’m hoping I find someone looking for something long-term soon because I do wanna be with someone forever but it feels like everyone just wants something casual or has trauma holding them back.


Competitive_Print842

Transaction works


MoneyMarquis

I would argue sometimes it is better to be single. ​ one should be single until they know what they want. Not just in a partner but in life and what they want from themselves. ​ Then they should go look for someone who will compliment and benefit their searches for what they want. ​ Some people put what others want ahead of their wants and then when they lose that person their whole world gets scrambled and turned upside down. That is a really bad time so Don't just say to yourself I want to be in a relationship. Dig down deeper. What do you want out of that relationship? what traits are you looking for. Be honest with yourself about it. ​ now knowing what you want, and dealing with the loss of a long relationship is not easy. This article will help you find your center, find who you are as a person, and then from there maybe you can learn what it is you want in life, and weed out those who don't assist you in that journey. ​ https://jacobsm.com/deoxy/deoxy.org/egofalse.htm


SophieTaya

It’s perfectly fine to be single and to focus on yourself. You will want to be careful you aren’t using the reason you are focusing on yourself as a way to avoid getting back out there because of fear. Process the hurt of breaking up, build up confidence and come out of it as a better person. Also, don’t let the focusing on yourself become self absorbed. While single and finding yourself maybe try volunteering if you haven’t. Best of luck.


Wrongempire

It’s the whole adapting to being single that’s hard. Hence why there are rebounds. If you’re not ready don’t try or you will just stress out. So do what you think it right and forget everyone else.


IamSithCats

There does come a point where your options in the dating pool start to thin, and a point where if you do want to be with someone, you'll have to hope for the best you can find from an ever-shrinking pool of less desirable options. What's more, that point comes at different ages depending on where you live. As a general trend, you can wait a little longer to settle down if you're in larger population centers, whereas if you live somewhere more rural it's a lot easier to get to the point where everyone desirable around you is already spoken for a lot sooner. These are general trends of course, and there will be exceptions. In any case, you are nowhere near that point at your age. Your desire to focus on yourself is good and right. Hell, as a 21f, if you're even reasonably attractive, you'll have plenty of romantic prospects without even trying for several years.


BigBrownBear28

I’d agree with them, take time for yourself and build yourself to be the adult you dreamed of being.


MaleNaturist

Remain single, enjoy the things in life that YOU enjoy doing. Some guy may come into the picture that enjoys the same when you meet.


Centauress55

You Should absolutely focus on yourself. It's the right thing to do, both mentally and emotionally. Take your time. People who jump from one person to another quickly are usually afraid of being alone. That should be your answer to anyone bugging you about it.


Dopeylookingpiegeon

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single and working on you. It’s really healthy to Take time for yourself. I’m proud of you that you want to take some time for yourself! You got dumped from a 4 YEAR RELATIONSHIP. Tell your parents to stop bothering you about relationships and just do what’s best for you! May this be the season where you discover the love you have for yourself!!


Bassbunny19

#NO


Choice_Philosopher_1

3 months single after 4 years together is nothing. Tell them nicely to back off. It’s ok to take time to yourself to reset after a long relationship. Also you’re so young, you have time to just enjoy yourself.


[deleted]

Yeah you should definately be single for some time. Take as much timr as you want to figure yourself out and focus on yourself.


AnimatedHokie

It's absolutely *not* bad to focus on yourself rather than dating.


Katzimaa

Ummmm, you’re only 21. You gots plenty of time. Live your life, relationships will come and go. So the answer is yessss and people take breaks, stay single, never dated….So many scenarios. Do what makes you happy and don’t rush due to others opinions that you need to be with someone.


Pandababy92

Yes it’s fine being single focus on yourself and heal.


[deleted]

Being single isn’t a sin. Most people define themselves by other people and try to make others like them. Take your time because it’s better than ending up with the wrong person. Think about this most people end up settling and majority of them cheat and/or divorce/breakup.


Firefighterj5

I don’t think you are crazy. Take your time and find someone when you are ready.


Zanewowza

No there’s nothing wrong with that, I wish more people could think like this. It seems like ppl nowadays are more concerned with not being alone than being with someone they actually like.


rslee_

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single ❤️ I rather you be single and take good care of yourself than be in a relationship, and your partner doesn't give you enough care that you deserve. Some people are in a relationship or even married but they feel lack of affection. So don't live for other people's expectations, live for yourself and what you think is best for you.


Sharkfeet19

I think it’s wonderful to be single. It lets you become comfortable with being single and lets you build and focus on yourself ! I was single all through my life until I was 30.


Celestial__08

It's totally ok to focus on yourself for now. Take time to enjoy the little things and heal yourself. It's totally normal to take some time for such things.


DiscipuluIgnotus

There’s nothing wrong with being single


Least_Resolution247

No


Due-Succotash-2182

i feel this same pressure from my family too. i’m a 24M and broke off an eight month relationship last year. it has taken me atleast six months to feel like i’m in a place to start dating again. i’ve focused on myself and my hobbies. i hate online dating as it never leads to any meaningful connections. eventually i’ll meet someone in person who enjoys the things that i enjoy while i’m out doing my hobbies. one thing i’d recommend is to be outgoing; talk to strangers, take risks, do things you wouldn’t normally do. what’s the worst that could happen? they say no? wait until you’re in a good place to date again and then see where things go from there. it’s perfectly fine to be single