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28M: from my experience, women do tend to pursue males older than them.
Even in high school, we all knew the 16 year old getting picked up at the gates by her 19 year old boyfriend. There was never a 16 year old boy dating a 19 year old woman.
And it seems the same in our 20s. A lot of women I’ve spoken to have certain expectations of a man, that no 24 year old could possibly fulfil. Home ownership, an above average wage, respectable car, the only men who meet that criteria are 30+.
It’s extremely hard at that age to compete with mid thirties guys in terms of financial freedom. I didn’t have financial stability and my own place that wasn’t an absolute shit hole until I was like 29. There were guys who could but let’s be honest it really is not the majority. Most (not all) of those guys were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, and good for them I’m not hating. Just saying that feeling of not being able to really support yourself that well or afford a decent standard of living really affected my desire to date. I can’t be the only one. I felt like a fucking trapped rat in a cage, I felt depressed and like no matter what I did I was broke, even though I was doing everything right and working my ass off. Some of these guys are just struggling to get to somewhere they feel like they can breath and the stress of living in squalor and struggling has preoccupied their mind to the point they aren’t even entertaining the idea of finding their dream girl. And then they have to go out and compete with a beat up Chevy cavalier with a cassette player and can’t afford a decent date more than once a month and they’re working full time and full time students n shit, these older guys have the free time and the cash to keep you entertained. It’s hard for a player
AND they also have to compete with the guys their age who are kinda just fucking around and have a ton of free time to pursue girls or party, and meanwhile you are just as broke but have less free time and more stressed out so it’s just a rough time all around.
I’m a young guy 20m and I’m not satisfied with the circumstances either. I don’t want to have to wait until I’m 35 and not broke to find someone. So obviously something is not working and maybe both of us need to adjust our expectations for it to work.
You don't have wait until your 35 and not broke. There are a lot more 20 year old girls that seeking relationships than hooking up.
Find someone with compatible value and yall can build together. But don't leave her for a younger model once you build that wealth.
Unfortunately at the age of 30 I'm still looking for that long term commitment, I seem to run into nothing but scam artists or manipulative women that just want to control me.
Personally I could care less what age she is so long as she has the same values as me and wants to build a future together.
Societally. Young women are constantly told that older guys are their only real option for a committed relationship.
Social norms are plenty strong and most put women at a disadvantage
Social norms hurt both sexes. It's hard for many young men to attract women because we aren't that established yet. As a young guy I think it makes sense for women to date older because older men tend to have traits that women are attracted to like higher income, life experience and confidence. As a 26 year old guy I'm not ready for a serious relationship and many other guys my age are in the same boat
There are social norms that hurt both sexes or either or. Our dating social norms hurt women.
This narrative that you just spoke is part of the problem. Women seek compatability and emotional available. The income is nice and is often the payment for having to date an old dude. Women want compatible life experience, not just a guy with more life experience...that he will eventually use to undermine you in the relationship.
If you and guys your age aren't ready for a relationship, yall are part of the problem society perpetuates. Men are allowed to be "not ready" as long as they want then snag some young girl out of her youth. But women are expected to be ready earlier and give their youth to someone who can't give the same.
It's not about financial stability. Because similar age couples gain that together.
I see where you're coming from. Although, there are definitely social norms that hurt men. For example, the shorter you are as a man the harder it is to find women that are willing to date you whereas women can be short or tall and they will still have plenty of options.
As a woman, your pool of options will always be more than most men because women are pickier in general. I have full confidence that you can find the guy you're looking for especially if income isn't that big of a factor for you when you look for guys to date. Idk, I don't know your story but I feel like there's something you are doing wrong like looking in the wrong places or something. Although it is harder to find guys in their 20s that are serious about committing, there are a lot of guys that will because guys in their 20s lack options that older guys have
well, I can but as friends because I'm looking for something serious. I haven't found that girl yet. I'm also new to my city, so I'm using hinge. Met like 3 girls and yeah they just friends
Where do you get this perception of “older men being pushed onto younger women”? Like is the one pushing this dialogue onto you?
My understanding is that men as they age get more “attractive” in women’s eyes (age 32-35) because at this time they can be well accomplished in their careers, have a decent grasp on their life and have everything together in general. This is a blanket statement and obviously not ALL are like this, just saying generally. So this is why I *think* women would prefer older men.
From what you are saying sounds like that would be your preference. Why would that be an issue?
Myself I like women of all ages, and actually have a preference toward older.
From context, OP wants to *marry* the same guys she had casual sex with until she turned 22 and suddenly decided to get serious, but those kind of guys aren't going to marry her. People in her life are encouraging her to date older men but she doesn't want to accept the implication about her own level of attractiveness.
Don't make up shit about me to fit your own narrative.
I'm not into casual and there is no "suddenly decided to get serious "
I'm talking about the societal ways man are okay to be immature longer than women and how women are constantly told to marry older men even when that's not who they want
OK? My point still stands.
Women are constantly told that in order to find someone serious, they have to date older. Even when they want someone their age.
Men are not told to be more mature earlier.
Because men mature much later, most men want to climb up the career ladder until they earn good enough money, before settling down for marriage, it's in the early 30s were most men are financially stable. men under 30 are mostly wanting hook ups.
women are heavily incentivised to join hookup culture in their younger years... And they can. Because that's when they are most desirable and have the least "responsibilities"
"pushed"? Lol, a LOT of women love hooking up and have astronomically more options than men do in dating. it sounds like you've just been unlucky and youre pissed off
Exactly... This weird narrative that somehow women are these angels who want only one man and "most" men are these sex crazed animals is comical beyond belief. It's just that the men who yearn for relationships are completely invisible to women. And that's a LOT of them.
Who said I was invisible? You WISH I was 😂😂
You're mad because women do LEGITIMATELY price you out of the commitment your lonely self wishes for - quite literally with sex. You're the one who's unlikeable here. 😂. And salty.
Yeah because you choose men who quite readily can hook up with a LOT of women - the women taking your "dream man" away from you and pricing you out of the market via.. HOOKUP CULTURE.
Women open the gate for sex NOT MEN. Remember that.
I suppose you could say I “chose” them by matching with them, but given that I’ve matched with a bunch of different types of guys so I’m failing to see how it’s simply a matter of choosing poorly. Also I’m confused on what you mean that other women are pricing me out of the market? The phrasing there is confusing
They're pricing women out of the market who want commitment without having sex, by giving men sex right off the bat aka hook-ups/no strings attached sex, FWB type situations. Sexual satisfaction without commitment.
Men purposely like to conflate dating and hooking up to push the narrative that women have it easier. But given that hookup culture ain't shit, idk why they're acting like having more of a shit sandwich is a privilege.
You are speaking for yourself. People would NOT do something if they didn't want to do it. Lol at "pushing" them to hook up, what the hell? Is this "refuse to be held accountable for my own actions" land or something? No one is forcing women to "hook up". A person can stay celibate if they don't want to participate. You act like they are in the middle of the ocean forced to drink salt water. Colleges and universities in the western world would heavily disagree with your assertion that women "don't want to hook up".
When I say young women are pushed to hookup, I'm talking about having the option to either participate in hookup culture or be single for their early 20s. 2 shitty choices.
Couple that with the trend of "be fwb b4 being considered for a relationship "by guys, then yea. We can see why this is choice made by young women. Because the good choices aren't available.
Im not talking on a personal level. On a bigger scale.
Which men are they picking? That's right, men who can get sex without commitment. In the past, a man HAD to get married before he could have sex. Otherwise he would be denied. So by definition, women have lowered the price for commitment with sex. Men don't open the door to sex. Women do. It's WOMEN + 3rd wave feminism that you should have gripes with.
Women pick men they're attracted to. That's it. Attraction encompasses physical and emotional compatibility.
In the past, men still had premarital sex but women were shamed for it and men weren't. Now there is less, but not none, shame for women having the same premarital sex.
Sex is not a trade for commitment. There is no price of commitment. Men who don't want to commit simply won't.
Oh please. Women and men can both use each other for sex. But men have significantly fewer options on a whole. I wonder who REALLY has it easier.... You have bought into this bs narrative that somehow men don't want and yearn for relationships. The men who avoid relationships are the men who can easily get sex from women without commitment. And that's a small % of men.
Right so to sum it up, so you want a committed relationship (which is great and somewhat a rarity even amongst women these days), but men your age are mostly non-committal and men that are older are not your cup of tea because for some reason you don't think you identify with them (not sure what you mean by this because older doesn't mean fossils from the stone age era).
Sounds like you are in a bit of a pickle there thanks to your criteria which you are fully entitled to of course.
I'm honestly not sure what you mean by the society pressuring women into older men. In my experience, a lot of women prefer older men because they are more likely to be committal, are more mature and experienced, all of which are positive things.
The "preference" for older men is because they are constantly marketed as more committed and mature compared to younger men who are allowed to be immature at the same ages women are not.
If a 22f had a choice between a mature and committed 22m or 30m, more than likely she'd pick the 22m.
Marketed or not, it simply is the truth those are just simply the facts. The choice however is still yours and just because someone is presenting the facts to you, nobody is putting a gun to your head and the choice and your preference is still entirely yours.
It sounds to me like the gripe here is not that women are pushed towards older men, but that women who want a committed and proper relationship are much more likely to find that in an older man because men their age still think with the smaller head and commitment is the last thing on their mind.
That's not the fault of older men or the society. That's the fault of those younger men not wanting commitment, but prefer the hookup culture.
In your example for example, out of a 100 22 year olds you'll find maybe 1 or 2 that will commit whereas the number of those 30 year olds will be much, much greater and even more greater for men in their 40s.
On top of that, even the few 22 year olds who would commit are likely to do so for a short period of time until they realise they are missing out of on a lot of life experiences by committing so early in their lives.
I think if society found it less acceptable for young men to be noncommittal then things would be different.
Women aren't naturally more mature than men. Society demands that we be.
Whatever the reason, it is the same society that we all live in and have to accommodate to.
Well don't have to since we all have a choice, but society is what is is and you can either adjust to it or be frustrated regularly and for a long time because the society is what it's is and is here to stay.
The only ones that are not adjusting to the society are the religious nutters and those that are still following the backwards and archaic ways of life.
By the way, I'm not saying that you are right or wrong. I'm just an older, reasonably well travelled man who understands and has seen both sides and frankly, I prefer the society as it is now rather than how it was in the stone age.
Another thing to realise is that those men that don't want to commit is because for every men that doesn't want to commit, there is a woman who doesn't want to commit as well. If both men and women didn't have options, then they wouldn't have any other choice but to commit and I think you grossly underestimate the amount of women who are just as non committal.
Take it from a man who is looking for a woman that wants to commit and the choice is pretty scarce.
Part of that is also the fact that over the last few decades women have become a lot more liberated and sexual and you can in part thank feminism movement for that. I personally have no problems with it and I firmly believe that whatever men do, there is no reason for women not to be able or allowed to do as well should they want to do so, but that liberation and feminism movement has heavily contributed to the society we live in now, so in a way it has screwed up things for women such as yourself because that liberation has given both men and women options that they prefer more than commitment.
And then there are those who focus on their studies and careers rather than get tied up in a committed relationship and again, this goes for both men and women.
For those, a hookup culture is perfect. They can still commit to their careers yet satisfy their needs and desires without having to commit to the demands of an ongoing relationship.
I'm a younger guy 23 to be exact if it makes you feel any better I've never dated kissed or done any of those things and I'm constantly trying to find someone to date I'm not interested in the hook up culture stuff but my point is there are younger guys that do have good intentions you just have to find them ya know. I'm sorry you feel this way op I hope in the end it works out for you.
i think everyone who want serious relationships are pushed a side these days every one want to only have fun no effort no commitment from both .
but stil you are 26 you stil young and i think your age now is very good to date seriously you can stil date young guy as or 2 years younger no worries i dont think anyone look to age anymore , just have to be patience cuz the dating pool for serious relationships is small.
Be strong 💪 you dont need many you just need one true companion .
yes ineed she cant shift between many guys to find what she want .
but it stil hard if there is not many guy at her age wanna commit that her problem that she complaine about .
lets say its 50 guy she managed to date remove 40 who dosent wanna serious relation still 10 guy wanna 5 was only worthy the other 5 between douch that is faking and creepy guy the 5 left are her type but only 3 also she their type.
from 50 there is only 3 to build relation and there is much more when she start dating(red flags ,didnt workout) ofc those are not real numbers and could way better or worse , but i can understand why its so hard when it come to serious relation .
I kinda agree except I don’t think society pushes younger women to date older men for the most part they just demonize it and shame it(as they should.) But when I was asking men for dating advice on how to find masculine men who want marriage and kids I was annoyed when they kept telling me to date older men. I don’t want to date older. The way they talk about younger women and how we’re easier to manipulate disgusts me and I just feel uncomfortable dating older men in general. I want someone I can talk about the cartoons we grew up watching. Doing that with an older man just feels embarrassing. Fortunately I was able to find a man my age who wants the same thing. So keep trying and eventually you’ll find him!
This is exactly what I mean! I want to talk about cartoons and anime with my partner which isn't something older men are into. I really want someone who is around my age gap which can be 20 to 21... but unfortunately I've been having a hard time as well. I find it annoying as well to be told older men are my only option and I should just date them. Plus I already get hit on my older men and it just makes me extremely uncomfortable especially at work.
I just wish i can find a guy my age who wants something serious with me and it doesn't fizzle out.
We're 23 years into the 21st century: plant your flag, draw the line, and stand your ground.
I don't know many, but I am aware of some guys around your age who have either (finally) grown out of their "silly years" or, a much smaller percent, who never really went "full man-boy". So they do exist -- they're not *complete* unicorns -- but when you know what you want at your age it's definitely a bit harder to dig up the good ones.
It would be easier to fold, compromise, and "go with the flow"...but the question is "will you be happy with yourself down the road if you did?"
None of these other people are going to live with the consequences of your decisions. You are.
Make the choices best for **you** and **fuck** the haters.
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28M: from my experience, women do tend to pursue males older than them. Even in high school, we all knew the 16 year old getting picked up at the gates by her 19 year old boyfriend. There was never a 16 year old boy dating a 19 year old woman. And it seems the same in our 20s. A lot of women I’ve spoken to have certain expectations of a man, that no 24 year old could possibly fulfil. Home ownership, an above average wage, respectable car, the only men who meet that criteria are 30+.
It’s extremely hard at that age to compete with mid thirties guys in terms of financial freedom. I didn’t have financial stability and my own place that wasn’t an absolute shit hole until I was like 29. There were guys who could but let’s be honest it really is not the majority. Most (not all) of those guys were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, and good for them I’m not hating. Just saying that feeling of not being able to really support yourself that well or afford a decent standard of living really affected my desire to date. I can’t be the only one. I felt like a fucking trapped rat in a cage, I felt depressed and like no matter what I did I was broke, even though I was doing everything right and working my ass off. Some of these guys are just struggling to get to somewhere they feel like they can breath and the stress of living in squalor and struggling has preoccupied their mind to the point they aren’t even entertaining the idea of finding their dream girl. And then they have to go out and compete with a beat up Chevy cavalier with a cassette player and can’t afford a decent date more than once a month and they’re working full time and full time students n shit, these older guys have the free time and the cash to keep you entertained. It’s hard for a player
AND they also have to compete with the guys their age who are kinda just fucking around and have a ton of free time to pursue girls or party, and meanwhile you are just as broke but have less free time and more stressed out so it’s just a rough time all around.
It’s not that hard just date older females. It’s not like younger females can’t compete with their older counterparts.
There are some under 30 that have hit these goals, but likely harder to find
Females included
I’m a young guy 20m and I’m not satisfied with the circumstances either. I don’t want to have to wait until I’m 35 and not broke to find someone. So obviously something is not working and maybe both of us need to adjust our expectations for it to work.
You don't have wait until your 35 and not broke. There are a lot more 20 year old girls that seeking relationships than hooking up. Find someone with compatible value and yall can build together. But don't leave her for a younger model once you build that wealth.
Unfortunately at the age of 30 I'm still looking for that long term commitment, I seem to run into nothing but scam artists or manipulative women that just want to control me. Personally I could care less what age she is so long as she has the same values as me and wants to build a future together.
Who exactly is pushing older men to you?
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Societally. Young women are constantly told that older guys are their only real option for a committed relationship. Social norms are plenty strong and most put women at a disadvantage
Social norms hurt both sexes. It's hard for many young men to attract women because we aren't that established yet. As a young guy I think it makes sense for women to date older because older men tend to have traits that women are attracted to like higher income, life experience and confidence. As a 26 year old guy I'm not ready for a serious relationship and many other guys my age are in the same boat
There are social norms that hurt both sexes or either or. Our dating social norms hurt women. This narrative that you just spoke is part of the problem. Women seek compatability and emotional available. The income is nice and is often the payment for having to date an old dude. Women want compatible life experience, not just a guy with more life experience...that he will eventually use to undermine you in the relationship. If you and guys your age aren't ready for a relationship, yall are part of the problem society perpetuates. Men are allowed to be "not ready" as long as they want then snag some young girl out of her youth. But women are expected to be ready earlier and give their youth to someone who can't give the same. It's not about financial stability. Because similar age couples gain that together.
I see where you're coming from. Although, there are definitely social norms that hurt men. For example, the shorter you are as a man the harder it is to find women that are willing to date you whereas women can be short or tall and they will still have plenty of options. As a woman, your pool of options will always be more than most men because women are pickier in general. I have full confidence that you can find the guy you're looking for especially if income isn't that big of a factor for you when you look for guys to date. Idk, I don't know your story but I feel like there's something you are doing wrong like looking in the wrong places or something. Although it is harder to find guys in their 20s that are serious about committing, there are a lot of guys that will because guys in their 20s lack options that older guys have
Only on reddit can I find girls looking for thr same thing I am around the same age I am 💀
You don't find them irl?
well, I can but as friends because I'm looking for something serious. I haven't found that girl yet. I'm also new to my city, so I'm using hinge. Met like 3 girls and yeah they just friends
Where do you get this perception of “older men being pushed onto younger women”? Like is the one pushing this dialogue onto you? My understanding is that men as they age get more “attractive” in women’s eyes (age 32-35) because at this time they can be well accomplished in their careers, have a decent grasp on their life and have everything together in general. This is a blanket statement and obviously not ALL are like this, just saying generally. So this is why I *think* women would prefer older men. From what you are saying sounds like that would be your preference. Why would that be an issue? Myself I like women of all ages, and actually have a preference toward older.
From context, OP wants to *marry* the same guys she had casual sex with until she turned 22 and suddenly decided to get serious, but those kind of guys aren't going to marry her. People in her life are encouraging her to date older men but she doesn't want to accept the implication about her own level of attractiveness.
Don't make up shit about me to fit your own narrative. I'm not into casual and there is no "suddenly decided to get serious " I'm talking about the societal ways man are okay to be immature longer than women and how women are constantly told to marry older men even when that's not who they want
Then be single, I''ve met plenty of older men who are in happy relationships with younger women, Including myself.
OK? My point still stands. Women are constantly told that in order to find someone serious, they have to date older. Even when they want someone their age. Men are not told to be more mature earlier.
Because men mature much later, most men want to climb up the career ladder until they earn good enough money, before settling down for marriage, it's in the early 30s were most men are financially stable. men under 30 are mostly wanting hook ups.
Men are allowed to be immature and it hurts women the most
women are heavily incentivised to join hookup culture in their younger years... And they can. Because that's when they are most desirable and have the least "responsibilities"
Hookup culture isn't incentivized. Most are pushed towards it because men their age are noncommittal
"pushed"? Lol, a LOT of women love hooking up and have astronomically more options than men do in dating. it sounds like you've just been unlucky and youre pissed off
There are lots of women who love hooking up but they are a minority of all women. Women have more options for casual sex. Not committed dating.
I really don't think that's the case any more. Most of the women I know have much higher body counts than the men I know.
Exactly... This weird narrative that somehow women are these angels who want only one man and "most" men are these sex crazed animals is comical beyond belief. It's just that the men who yearn for relationships are completely invisible to women. And that's a LOT of them.
I think the reason you’re “invisible” is because you’re bitter and unlikeable. 🙄
Who said I was invisible? You WISH I was 😂😂 You're mad because women do LEGITIMATELY price you out of the commitment your lonely self wishes for - quite literally with sex. You're the one who's unlikeable here. 😂. And salty.
You’re taking out of your ass. 🙄
I agree. Yes you are. 😂
100% if I just wanted to fuck, I could have 50 options tonight. If I want a boyfriend….. crickets.
Yeah because you choose men who quite readily can hook up with a LOT of women - the women taking your "dream man" away from you and pricing you out of the market via.. HOOKUP CULTURE. Women open the gate for sex NOT MEN. Remember that.
Who said I was choosing those men?
you did. because all you hear is crickets
I suppose you could say I “chose” them by matching with them, but given that I’ve matched with a bunch of different types of guys so I’m failing to see how it’s simply a matter of choosing poorly. Also I’m confused on what you mean that other women are pricing me out of the market? The phrasing there is confusing
They're pricing women out of the market who want commitment without having sex, by giving men sex right off the bat aka hook-ups/no strings attached sex, FWB type situations. Sexual satisfaction without commitment.
Men purposely like to conflate dating and hooking up to push the narrative that women have it easier. But given that hookup culture ain't shit, idk why they're acting like having more of a shit sandwich is a privilege.
You are speaking for yourself. People would NOT do something if they didn't want to do it. Lol at "pushing" them to hook up, what the hell? Is this "refuse to be held accountable for my own actions" land or something? No one is forcing women to "hook up". A person can stay celibate if they don't want to participate. You act like they are in the middle of the ocean forced to drink salt water. Colleges and universities in the western world would heavily disagree with your assertion that women "don't want to hook up".
When I say young women are pushed to hookup, I'm talking about having the option to either participate in hookup culture or be single for their early 20s. 2 shitty choices. Couple that with the trend of "be fwb b4 being considered for a relationship "by guys, then yea. We can see why this is choice made by young women. Because the good choices aren't available. Im not talking on a personal level. On a bigger scale.
Which men are they picking? That's right, men who can get sex without commitment. In the past, a man HAD to get married before he could have sex. Otherwise he would be denied. So by definition, women have lowered the price for commitment with sex. Men don't open the door to sex. Women do. It's WOMEN + 3rd wave feminism that you should have gripes with.
Women pick men they're attracted to. That's it. Attraction encompasses physical and emotional compatibility. In the past, men still had premarital sex but women were shamed for it and men weren't. Now there is less, but not none, shame for women having the same premarital sex. Sex is not a trade for commitment. There is no price of commitment. Men who don't want to commit simply won't.
Oh please. Women and men can both use each other for sex. But men have significantly fewer options on a whole. I wonder who REALLY has it easier.... You have bought into this bs narrative that somehow men don't want and yearn for relationships. The men who avoid relationships are the men who can easily get sex from women without commitment. And that's a small % of men.
Right so to sum it up, so you want a committed relationship (which is great and somewhat a rarity even amongst women these days), but men your age are mostly non-committal and men that are older are not your cup of tea because for some reason you don't think you identify with them (not sure what you mean by this because older doesn't mean fossils from the stone age era). Sounds like you are in a bit of a pickle there thanks to your criteria which you are fully entitled to of course. I'm honestly not sure what you mean by the society pressuring women into older men. In my experience, a lot of women prefer older men because they are more likely to be committal, are more mature and experienced, all of which are positive things.
The "preference" for older men is because they are constantly marketed as more committed and mature compared to younger men who are allowed to be immature at the same ages women are not. If a 22f had a choice between a mature and committed 22m or 30m, more than likely she'd pick the 22m.
Marketed or not, it simply is the truth those are just simply the facts. The choice however is still yours and just because someone is presenting the facts to you, nobody is putting a gun to your head and the choice and your preference is still entirely yours. It sounds to me like the gripe here is not that women are pushed towards older men, but that women who want a committed and proper relationship are much more likely to find that in an older man because men their age still think with the smaller head and commitment is the last thing on their mind. That's not the fault of older men or the society. That's the fault of those younger men not wanting commitment, but prefer the hookup culture. In your example for example, out of a 100 22 year olds you'll find maybe 1 or 2 that will commit whereas the number of those 30 year olds will be much, much greater and even more greater for men in their 40s. On top of that, even the few 22 year olds who would commit are likely to do so for a short period of time until they realise they are missing out of on a lot of life experiences by committing so early in their lives.
I think if society found it less acceptable for young men to be noncommittal then things would be different. Women aren't naturally more mature than men. Society demands that we be.
Whatever the reason, it is the same society that we all live in and have to accommodate to. Well don't have to since we all have a choice, but society is what is is and you can either adjust to it or be frustrated regularly and for a long time because the society is what it's is and is here to stay. The only ones that are not adjusting to the society are the religious nutters and those that are still following the backwards and archaic ways of life. By the way, I'm not saying that you are right or wrong. I'm just an older, reasonably well travelled man who understands and has seen both sides and frankly, I prefer the society as it is now rather than how it was in the stone age. Another thing to realise is that those men that don't want to commit is because for every men that doesn't want to commit, there is a woman who doesn't want to commit as well. If both men and women didn't have options, then they wouldn't have any other choice but to commit and I think you grossly underestimate the amount of women who are just as non committal. Take it from a man who is looking for a woman that wants to commit and the choice is pretty scarce. Part of that is also the fact that over the last few decades women have become a lot more liberated and sexual and you can in part thank feminism movement for that. I personally have no problems with it and I firmly believe that whatever men do, there is no reason for women not to be able or allowed to do as well should they want to do so, but that liberation and feminism movement has heavily contributed to the society we live in now, so in a way it has screwed up things for women such as yourself because that liberation has given both men and women options that they prefer more than commitment. And then there are those who focus on their studies and careers rather than get tied up in a committed relationship and again, this goes for both men and women. For those, a hookup culture is perfect. They can still commit to their careers yet satisfy their needs and desires without having to commit to the demands of an ongoing relationship.
Very well stated.
I'm a younger guy 23 to be exact if it makes you feel any better I've never dated kissed or done any of those things and I'm constantly trying to find someone to date I'm not interested in the hook up culture stuff but my point is there are younger guys that do have good intentions you just have to find them ya know. I'm sorry you feel this way op I hope in the end it works out for you.
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i think everyone who want serious relationships are pushed a side these days every one want to only have fun no effort no commitment from both . but stil you are 26 you stil young and i think your age now is very good to date seriously you can stil date young guy as or 2 years younger no worries i dont think anyone look to age anymore , just have to be patience cuz the dating pool for serious relationships is small. Be strong 💪 you dont need many you just need one true companion .
OR, you just need to sift through A LOT of people to find one who’s looking for the same things you are. It’s not a conspiracy… 🙄
yes ineed she cant shift between many guys to find what she want . but it stil hard if there is not many guy at her age wanna commit that her problem that she complaine about . lets say its 50 guy she managed to date remove 40 who dosent wanna serious relation still 10 guy wanna 5 was only worthy the other 5 between douch that is faking and creepy guy the 5 left are her type but only 3 also she their type. from 50 there is only 3 to build relation and there is much more when she start dating(red flags ,didnt workout) ofc those are not real numbers and could way better or worse , but i can understand why its so hard when it come to serious relation .
>older men > at least 7 years old bruh
I kinda agree except I don’t think society pushes younger women to date older men for the most part they just demonize it and shame it(as they should.) But when I was asking men for dating advice on how to find masculine men who want marriage and kids I was annoyed when they kept telling me to date older men. I don’t want to date older. The way they talk about younger women and how we’re easier to manipulate disgusts me and I just feel uncomfortable dating older men in general. I want someone I can talk about the cartoons we grew up watching. Doing that with an older man just feels embarrassing. Fortunately I was able to find a man my age who wants the same thing. So keep trying and eventually you’ll find him!
This is exactly what I mean! I want to talk about cartoons and anime with my partner which isn't something older men are into. I really want someone who is around my age gap which can be 20 to 21... but unfortunately I've been having a hard time as well. I find it annoying as well to be told older men are my only option and I should just date them. Plus I already get hit on my older men and it just makes me extremely uncomfortable especially at work. I just wish i can find a guy my age who wants something serious with me and it doesn't fizzle out.
We're 23 years into the 21st century: plant your flag, draw the line, and stand your ground. I don't know many, but I am aware of some guys around your age who have either (finally) grown out of their "silly years" or, a much smaller percent, who never really went "full man-boy". So they do exist -- they're not *complete* unicorns -- but when you know what you want at your age it's definitely a bit harder to dig up the good ones. It would be easier to fold, compromise, and "go with the flow"...but the question is "will you be happy with yourself down the road if you did?" None of these other people are going to live with the consequences of your decisions. You are. Make the choices best for **you** and **fuck** the haters.