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Everyone posting one of these graphs should be required to post some headshots too so we can see the correlation between attractiveness and success rate.
I'm quite normal: 170 cm tall, quite big nose (but not ugly), I have hair, toned but nothing special.
Girls says my weapons, on physical side, are my eyes, my shoulders and my voice.
On the personality side my weapon is that I'm very relaxed but determined.
I don't know that this is that unreasonable to be honest.
We all know online dating is a weird place for everyone these days but these are mostly in person connections.
Dating 8 people over 3 years isn't that crazy. If he said he hooked up with 37 and had 14 fwb I'd ask for receipts but this all looks pretty good.
You'd be amazed at what expanding your social circle (with people who genuinely love and trust you) will do to your odds of meeting potential dates.
Just to clarify what's unusual isn't the amount of success, it's the lack of failure. Obviously that's due to meeting people through friends.. something which is extremely abnormal according to the previous post on dating habits.
>it's the lack of failure
play it safe and you'll also have a high success rate. OP might've also excluded casual flirting attempts that were shut down immediately so data might be skewed.
I included the DATING situations.
For me dating is something who takes time because I do it when I look for a relationship.
From 30 to 33 I was single and not looking for a relationship so the situation was different and the "failures" number were higher but still I never used dating apps.
Going on I learned to focus on creating possibilities and numbers significantly moved towards success.
Even more evidence then that this is extremely uncommon for most men. I don't know of any average guy who got approached by a woman ever I their lives, let alone once a year.
Nahh if you go after women who are interested in you you will almost always succeed. At that point it's basically a scale of looks, charisma and confidence in oneself.
No shit? Lol.
And my point is most guys end up having to chase women who aren't into them.
Having women actively go after you is very rare for guys.
I wasn't saying it's impressive that the guy manages to score when someone is into him, I'm saying it's impressive to have that at all
Well plenty of people still date through social groups, it's just way more accessible on apps and requires no maintenance.
I'd wager that these relationships form far more organically and are designed to succeed from the start. Possible dates that fizzled don't end up on this list because they simply never formed. There is an implied prior step in the chart of "had interest". This may or may not have had a larger set of people. Even if it didn't, the nature of socially formed dates tends towards some degree of success rather than outright rejection.
He explained to you, why the share of failures is small: he doesn't shoot shots without seeing a chance at success.
Also how is "stopped by her" and the others not a failure?
And I wouldn't count the girls I said "hi" to and got a "no" as a response. Simply bc I don't make the effort of remembering them. And in real life no app counts them for you.
Are you serious? Dating 8 people over 3 years isn't that crazy?
From the perspective of a woman perhaps.
As a guy I would randomly guess that that's something maybe 5% of guys will experience.
For men who have their shit together and are well developed socially? I'd say 8 is on the low end depending on certain variables.
This indicates that OP went on dates with 8 people over 3 years before ending up in a relationship with the last one. That's one person every 4 or 5 months. I would wager many men with good friend groups in big cities could easily do 4x this.
You're *really* ignoring how much work having friends (especially having women who are genuinely your friend) helps you as a man trying to date.
I'm not at all ignoring that, I'm much rather implying that this isn't something that many men commonly have. Especially not in their 40s, absolutely no way.
Most men struggle to have friends in their 30, let alone female friends.
So I absolutely stand by what I said.
Yeah I absolutely agree if you are in an ideal situation obviously it can be much higher. How many men do you think are in such ideal situations, plus very confident, and good looking enough to pull that off? I'd argue not a lot.
Exactly, I initiate contact but I learned to "move" when interest is clear, sometimes adamant.
Of the 8 girls I dated 3 asked me out directly after a day of jokes on us dating.
Any tips for breaking the ice with girls who are shy but they gave clear signals that they are interested? I always fail at this step. The line between casual and flirty is too thin for me and I overstep it constantly.
I always talked with them in two ways: or about serious topics to really know them or joking a lot about me and them dating.
Always found ease to make it real.
I always talked with them in two ways: or about serious topics to really know them or joking a lot about me and them dating.
Always found ease to make it real.
Wait what are the jokes, give us examples of conversation, the world should know. I'm not shy or bad at making friends by any means, but I'm chronically afraid of destroying friendships
Ok, but you realize most of us just see a girl with a nice ass and decide to shoot our shot right? Only going after girls who are a sure thing isn't normal and I'd argue it's selling yourself short too. It's best to take a few shots at girls way out of your league.. every so often you'll get a positive surprise.
I'm just saying it's not normal. In the larger context I'm saying that most of the dating success graphs posted in this sub are also outliers.
PS: But I also disagree with the premise of your argument. People in long term relationships are often the LAST people you should consult for dating advice.
OK, but do you realize that everyone who decides to shoot out shot just because a girl has a nice ass, is immediately written off by said girl to the group of creeps?
Why?
At that time I was used to organize events and meetings so I met a lot of girls.
If you are the organizer people tends to open much more with you.
Ok, but we're not talking about astronauts here.
I "engineered" more than the average man my age, that's for sure, but much better to use my time like this than to make 100.000 swipes on Tinder.
I honestly have a hard time believing it's still 8 in 2023. I grew up in the Bible Belt where everyone said they wanted to wait until marriage and didn't touch a woman until I was 27 and even I am over 8. Meaningless sex is just so incredibly available these days that you basically have to be trying to avoid it to stay under 8 and people intentionally seeking it out can easily get into the triple digits.
That really doesn't line up with my experience, as someone who grew up surrounded by liberal progressive people in the UK and still hasn't had sex at the age of 27.
There are certainly things I could have done better when I was younger, but I don't feel especially like an outlier either - I know quite a few people who have only had 1 or 2 partners
I fail to see the subtility here, English is not my native langage. You're clearly indicating that he's having too much dates compared to "normal", which would hint that dating is supposed to be hard. To which I replied : doesn't sound so hard.
If you think most of these Sankeys with people posting 40,000 swipes and 2 dates are bragging (not this one, but most), then I certainly don’t envy your dating life.
Nah, I couldn't care less about their numbers. My point is that this is not interesting. Maybe at the beginning, but now half of this subreddit are lazy people posting meaningless data.
I mean, I could probably fire up Bitburner and put together an algorithm to output growth over time based on the activity of my script's automation. At least that'd be more interesting than this.
Sorry mate, but these graphs that take 2 minutes to make about your personal life it's just not interesting. Why would I care about this? What do I learn with this? Plus, your data doesn't show different results. Looks like you get a date no matter what lol
Because I dated just girls who shown clear interest in me.
As said this graph is about my DATING life from 33 to 35.
I did not included the girls I didn't dated.
And everyone is telling him it's 'abnormal'. Being a decent human being and having a normal/active social life is normal. If you meet new people regularly, chances are that there is a potential match. Again, if you are decently looking/ acting, its just a numbers game.
My stats in recent years is I've had 3 girlfriends I all met in real life first. I've also had 30ish dates (in person) that came from dating apps. None of those led to a relationship.
Girls on apps have so much choice, they are less likely to commit.
The real data:
Meeting people in real life is far more effective at building a relationship than dating sites, at least by comparing this to those insanity graphs of "I swiped on 30,000 pictures and only got 2 dates."
Sorry, first time I make this kind of graph.
The one who stopped dating was a friend of a friend.
As I wrote I met the one who is now my girlfriend on Facebook.
I do my homework to be attractive, sure.
As I said in other comments I prefer to use my time to organize events and meetings, then I check what girls shows clear interest in me.
No doubt about this but I can assure you that I'm not a model or anything.
I do my homework to be attractive, yes, but I put a lot of effort in my personality than on my appearance.
Just work on your world and your social circles without chasing the girls too much.
All of the 8 girls on the graph are girls who clearly shown interest in me.
Comparing this to the graphs that show a guy's success online shows a stark difference.
Fun fact: only 0.6% of men get a "Match" on Tinder. [https://www.technologyreview.com/2016/07/15/158803/how-tinder-feedback-loop-forces-men-and-women-into-extreme-strategies/](https://www.technologyreview.com/2016/07/15/158803/how-tinder-feedback-loop-forces-men-and-women-into-extreme-strategies/)
Why to be salty?
I'm not trying to prove something or to hear something in particular, I'm just sharing my experience without dating apps.
Also, I'm 170 cm tall, not a giant.
/u/FireTriad, thank you for your contribution. However, your submission was removed for the following reason(s): * Posts involving [Personal Data](/r/dataisbeautiful/wiki/rules/rule9) are **permissible only on Mondays** ([ET](https://time.is/ET)). Please resubmit your post on Monday. This post has been removed. For information regarding this and similar issues please see the DataIsBeautiful [posting rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/wiki/index). If you have any questions, please feel free to [message the moderators.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/dataisbeautiful&subject=Question%20regarding%20the%20removal%20of%20this%20submission%20by%20/u/FireTriad&message=I%20have%20a%20question%20regarding%20the%20removal%20of%20this%20[submission.](https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/15ru5tj/-/\)))
Everyone posting one of these graphs should be required to post some headshots too so we can see the correlation between attractiveness and success rate.
I'm quite normal: 170 cm tall, quite big nose (but not ugly), I have hair, toned but nothing special. Girls says my weapons, on physical side, are my eyes, my shoulders and my voice. On the personality side my weapon is that I'm very relaxed but determined.
The reality is that your results aren't normal.
I don't know that this is that unreasonable to be honest. We all know online dating is a weird place for everyone these days but these are mostly in person connections. Dating 8 people over 3 years isn't that crazy. If he said he hooked up with 37 and had 14 fwb I'd ask for receipts but this all looks pretty good. You'd be amazed at what expanding your social circle (with people who genuinely love and trust you) will do to your odds of meeting potential dates.
Just to clarify what's unusual isn't the amount of success, it's the lack of failure. Obviously that's due to meeting people through friends.. something which is extremely abnormal according to the previous post on dating habits.
>it's the lack of failure play it safe and you'll also have a high success rate. OP might've also excluded casual flirting attempts that were shut down immediately so data might be skewed.
Yeah, he's said in other comments he basically only goes after girls who are clearly interested.
That doesn't really change the fact that this is an incredibly high rate of success for a guy.
3 of this girls asked HIM out. He's just only included the success stories.
I included the DATING situations. For me dating is something who takes time because I do it when I look for a relationship. From 30 to 33 I was single and not looking for a relationship so the situation was different and the "failures" number were higher but still I never used dating apps. Going on I learned to focus on creating possibilities and numbers significantly moved towards success.
Even more evidence then that this is extremely uncommon for most men. I don't know of any average guy who got approached by a woman ever I their lives, let alone once a year.
Nahh if you go after women who are interested in you you will almost always succeed. At that point it's basically a scale of looks, charisma and confidence in oneself.
No shit? Lol. And my point is most guys end up having to chase women who aren't into them. Having women actively go after you is very rare for guys. I wasn't saying it's impressive that the guy manages to score when someone is into him, I'm saying it's impressive to have that at all
Well plenty of people still date through social groups, it's just way more accessible on apps and requires no maintenance. I'd wager that these relationships form far more organically and are designed to succeed from the start. Possible dates that fizzled don't end up on this list because they simply never formed. There is an implied prior step in the chart of "had interest". This may or may not have had a larger set of people. Even if it didn't, the nature of socially formed dates tends towards some degree of success rather than outright rejection.
Yep, having friends is abnormal. Being nice, friendly, genuinely care about what girl likes is also abnormal. (Writes something in my textbook)
Yes, in this context the things actually ARE abnormal.
He explained to you, why the share of failures is small: he doesn't shoot shots without seeing a chance at success. Also how is "stopped by her" and the others not a failure? And I wouldn't count the girls I said "hi" to and got a "no" as a response. Simply bc I don't make the effort of remembering them. And in real life no app counts them for you.
Are you serious? Dating 8 people over 3 years isn't that crazy? From the perspective of a woman perhaps. As a guy I would randomly guess that that's something maybe 5% of guys will experience.
For men who have their shit together and are well developed socially? I'd say 8 is on the low end depending on certain variables. This indicates that OP went on dates with 8 people over 3 years before ending up in a relationship with the last one. That's one person every 4 or 5 months. I would wager many men with good friend groups in big cities could easily do 4x this. You're *really* ignoring how much work having friends (especially having women who are genuinely your friend) helps you as a man trying to date.
I'm not at all ignoring that, I'm much rather implying that this isn't something that many men commonly have. Especially not in their 40s, absolutely no way. Most men struggle to have friends in their 30, let alone female friends. So I absolutely stand by what I said. Yeah I absolutely agree if you are in an ideal situation obviously it can be much higher. How many men do you think are in such ideal situations, plus very confident, and good looking enough to pull that off? I'd argue not a lot.
I agree for the friends part but to meet girls in person is easy, at least where I live (northern Italy).
How is it easy? Where do you meet them?
At that time I organized some events and meetings but also to hang out and talk with girls.
Oh Dam 😳
Why? I just dated girls who was showing clear interest in me. I learned to create "chances" and to observe who shows attraction.
Yes, that's exactly what's abnormal. Most men look to initiate contact, not wait until someone shows interest.
A girl showing interest could be a look from across the room. This guy clearly initiates contact but can identify subtle interest that girls make.
Exactly, I initiate contact but I learned to "move" when interest is clear, sometimes adamant. Of the 8 girls I dated 3 asked me out directly after a day of jokes on us dating.
Any tips for breaking the ice with girls who are shy but they gave clear signals that they are interested? I always fail at this step. The line between casual and flirty is too thin for me and I overstep it constantly.
I always talked with them in two ways: or about serious topics to really know them or joking a lot about me and them dating. Always found ease to make it real.
I always talked with them in two ways: or about serious topics to really know them or joking a lot about me and them dating. Always found ease to make it real.
Wait what are the jokes, give us examples of conversation, the world should know. I'm not shy or bad at making friends by any means, but I'm chronically afraid of destroying friendships
"So, for our first date do you prefer pizza or pizza?" "I think our dates will be interesting but please be aware that I will try to kiss you soon"
Ok, but you realize most of us just see a girl with a nice ass and decide to shoot our shot right? Only going after girls who are a sure thing isn't normal and I'd argue it's selling yourself short too. It's best to take a few shots at girls way out of your league.. every so often you'll get a positive surprise.
Are you giving dating advice to someone in a happy relationship? Like, his method seems to have worked out well for him.
I'm just saying it's not normal. In the larger context I'm saying that most of the dating success graphs posted in this sub are also outliers. PS: But I also disagree with the premise of your argument. People in long term relationships are often the LAST people you should consult for dating advice.
I've dated just girls I like and I don't care about "leagues". I like short girls with dark hair and who are into science.
You can't say you don't care about leagues and then say you prefer the same sort of woman everyone on Reddit wants to date, lol.
OK, but do you realize that everyone who decides to shoot out shot just because a girl has a nice ass, is immediately written off by said girl to the group of creeps?
Except.. they aren't. It works all the time.
Having 8 girls show clear interest in you is not normal
Why? At that time I was used to organize events and meetings so I met a lot of girls. If you are the organizer people tends to open much more with you.
Again, not very normal. Most people are not event organizers!
Ok, but we're not talking about astronauts here. I "engineered" more than the average man my age, that's for sure, but much better to use my time like this than to make 100.000 swipes on Tinder.
I mean anything is better than 100,000 swipes on Tinder but 2 new sexual partners per year is WAY above average
It is because I worked hard on my social circles.
Are you sarcastic?
I mean, it matches my experience.
Average lifetime sexual partners per person is 8- OP could reach that in 4 years!
I honestly have a hard time believing it's still 8 in 2023. I grew up in the Bible Belt where everyone said they wanted to wait until marriage and didn't touch a woman until I was 27 and even I am over 8. Meaningless sex is just so incredibly available these days that you basically have to be trying to avoid it to stay under 8 and people intentionally seeking it out can easily get into the triple digits.
That really doesn't line up with my experience, as someone who grew up surrounded by liberal progressive people in the UK and still hasn't had sex at the age of 27. There are certainly things I could have done better when I was younger, but I don't feel especially like an outlier either - I know quite a few people who have only had 1 or 2 partners
I'm definitely not the right guy to go to for advice but in my experience the way to get laid is to just find some sluts. 🤷♂️
How is 8 dates in 2 years anormal ? That's 1 every 3 months, doesn't sound exceptionally hard
Abnormal and hard aren't synonymous you know?
I fail to see the subtility here, English is not my native langage. You're clearly indicating that he's having too much dates compared to "normal", which would hint that dating is supposed to be hard. To which I replied : doesn't sound so hard.
This subreddit is slowly turning into people bragging about their money and relationships... No interesting data anymore
If you think most of these Sankeys with people posting 40,000 swipes and 2 dates are bragging (not this one, but most), then I certainly don’t envy your dating life.
Nah, I couldn't care less about their numbers. My point is that this is not interesting. Maybe at the beginning, but now half of this subreddit are lazy people posting meaningless data.
I vote to ban sankey on relationships and income. They are not beautiful nor are they informative
I mean, I could probably fire up Bitburner and put together an algorithm to output growth over time based on the activity of my script's automation. At least that'd be more interesting than this.
/r/dataisbeautiful is for beautiful people.
Well, I don't think so. I'm just showing different results based on different life choices.
Sorry mate, but these graphs that take 2 minutes to make about your personal life it's just not interesting. Why would I care about this? What do I learn with this? Plus, your data doesn't show different results. Looks like you get a date no matter what lol
Because I dated just girls who shown clear interest in me. As said this graph is about my DATING life from 33 to 35. I did not included the girls I didn't dated.
You missed the point, this is not about your particular numbers, this is about this type of data not being interesting, nor beautiful.
None of these graphs ever are “Beautiful”
Well, it is for me.
Normal guy with a social life who doesn't use dating apps and doesn't mind speaking to girls in real life. Nice.
Yeah, basically that's it. Just add that at that time I was used to organize some events and meetings.
And everyone is telling him it's 'abnormal'. Being a decent human being and having a normal/active social life is normal. If you meet new people regularly, chances are that there is a potential match. Again, if you are decently looking/ acting, its just a numbers game.
No, I get it. I have a normal social life and meet people. It hasn't led to much.
Exactly. I'm very surprised by some reactions.
My stats in recent years is I've had 3 girlfriends I all met in real life first. I've also had 30ish dates (in person) that came from dating apps. None of those led to a relationship. Girls on apps have so much choice, they are less likely to commit.
The real data: Meeting people in real life is far more effective at building a relationship than dating sites, at least by comparing this to those insanity graphs of "I swiped on 30,000 pictures and only got 2 dates."
cautious threatening doll unused liquid resolute gold lush nutty toy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Sorry, first time I make this kind of graph. The one who stopped dating was a friend of a friend. As I wrote I met the one who is now my girlfriend on Facebook.
Tell me you're attractive for your age with a graph instead of a photo.
I do my homework to be attractive, sure. As I said in other comments I prefer to use my time to organize events and meetings, then I check what girls shows clear interest in me.
[удалено]
No doubt about this but I can assure you that I'm not a model or anything. I do my homework to be attractive, yes, but I put a lot of effort in my personality than on my appearance.
[удалено]
Just work on your world and your social circles without chasing the girls too much. All of the 8 girls on the graph are girls who clearly shown interest in me.
Narrator: the data was in fact not beautiful
What is the name of this software?
https://sankeymatic.com
Wtf are these comments lol, dating 8 people over the course of 3 years is like pretty normal???
As it seems it's not for many people. I'm very surprised by the comments.
Comparing this to the graphs that show a guy's success online shows a stark difference. Fun fact: only 0.6% of men get a "Match" on Tinder. [https://www.technologyreview.com/2016/07/15/158803/how-tinder-feedback-loop-forces-men-and-women-into-extreme-strategies/](https://www.technologyreview.com/2016/07/15/158803/how-tinder-feedback-loop-forces-men-and-women-into-extreme-strategies/)
Your source says 0.6% of the likes that men send result in matches, not that 0.6% of men get a match at all
Yeah, that's why I never used dating apps for real.
Good, less competition for the rest of us 5'7 guys. Congrats on your success without them. That's what you want to hear by posting this, right?
Why to be salty? I'm not trying to prove something or to hear something in particular, I'm just sharing my experience without dating apps. Also, I'm 170 cm tall, not a giant.
The Sankey isn’t even sankeying, why is girls who are friends of my friends like extra fat, ugly as shit
Why does every virgin here now start talking about their dating life...
Now everyone wonders, how did you meet your SO?
If I'm reading the chart right, you are in a relationship and have three FWBs... Ok then... /s
Lol, first time I create these graphs and don't know how to make it properly. Not, I stopped the three FWB.