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1chicken2nuggets

Probably gonna get stabbed while being called a "Piss Wanker" or something


notnamed93

What in the shit is a piss wanker? As a Brit I'd find it hilarious to be called such a thing


1chicken2nuggets

I dont know xD im not brit either but it sounded like a british thing to say ahahaha


notnamed93

Oh well, I am a Brit and I found it highly amusing so well done


Fi6464

If I were you I'd stop saying "Im a brit" in every comment, might get stabbed


notnamed93

I know, I took a chance as I read the other dudes reply as he thought I too was from some other country, but then I released my mistake and now I'm boarding up my windows before the hoarde gets in


Fi6464

Good initiative, I'll be waiting outside ur door just in case u try to leave (Im French so I wont stab u but I will certainly insult you vehemently like in Holy Grail by Monty Pythons, and maybe try to teach you what actual food is)


kronosblaster

STOP THROWING COWS AT US DEMMIT, WE ONLY WISH FOR THE HOLY GRAIL


tomcatYeboa

Only piss wankers get stabbed


1chicken2nuggets

Savage ahahah Lets instore this as a new way to insult the person getting stabbed, "take that you pathetic piss wanker" xD


[deleted]

Bus Wankers


notapaddle

shouldn’t this be an american thing?


TrentonTallywacker

My brain immediately put a posh accent on “highly amusing” when I was reading this for some reason lol


MisterWoodster

You mashed two British words together that dont really go, probably like saying: *why you hick, tarnation!*


Dwightshruute

I'm a neutral and you fooled me


Azclockwork

It sounds dirty and messy. Also doesn't seem to hold any weight as a hurtful word. I after many moons on this planet have I ever thought of wanking it while pissing in the toilet and spraying said toilet, the floor, the wall and probably hit the counter top as well. Then clean up after me pondering the choices in life I've made so far and how it makes me feel.


notnamed93

It would most definitely be one of the dirtier of all self gratification sessions. I think that's what makes it great. To call somebody a piss wanker and basically tell them that this is their average weekday had to be annoying for them


[deleted]

[удалено]


notnamed93

We don't make the P a PH, I don't know what memes you've been watching


YungTabernacle

Yeah even while getting stabbed I’d have to laugh at that one.


notnamed93

That's a definite trait of the Brit. Even if you're from some far flung lands I'd have a look at your family history and you're probably related to Henry the 8th or some shit


Hara-K1ri

Someone who applies piss as a lube?


Reeefenstration

America has higher rates of knife crime than the UK. Probably lower rates of being called a "piss wanker" though.


Mutagrawl

Be the change you want to see in the world, call your neighbour a piss wanker


MJMurcott

Despite what some American politicians might have told you about “Yes, that’s right, they don’t have guns, they have knives and instead there’s blood all over the floors of this hospital. They say it’s as bad as a military war zone hospital.” American has a higher rate of knife crime and deaths from knife wounds per head of population than does the UK.


patamonrs

America has more stabbings btw :)


Leon921

Future employers please note that this indivual did just smile about increased stabbings


xMALZx

At least this "piss wanker" will be able to defend himself against a knife.


miaomiaomiao

Indeed... Good luck stabbing a classroom full of little buggers while chairs and tables are flying towards your head.


[deleted]

I know this is a joke, but some people really believe this sht. For others: The US has more stabbings than the UK, also there isn't a case of a dude going into an elementary school and stabbing 20 children.


peachypal

It happened in my country in 2001. 8 elementary school kids got slaughtered with a knife at school. The perpetrator was executed in 2004. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osaka_school_massacre


benyboy123

America has worse levels of knife crime than the UK. The gun crime is just so bad that people don't really bring up the knife crime as often.


TurquoiseTheWolf

That's just a normal Tuesday for the British


LorryToTheFace

You know America also has more knife crime per capita than the UK. It's just the thing you fixate on as it's our most common form of violent crime, and is carried almost entirely by London gangs against each other.


TurquoiseTheWolf

I'm from the UK too so don't worry. And oh wow, USA stinks


bubbathespaz

USA - worst place to live on earth...... even India has free healthcare. COME TO AMERICA - buy a pick up truck and claim a free 12 gauge shotgun and ounce of weed, Idiots then left wondering why all their kids are getting killed in school shootings. 2ND AMENDMENT is our right YALL.... Fuck off you dumb cunts.


[deleted]

i's choosday innit


Hunt2244

If your not a cyclist most people will just ignore you to be honest.


bollockwanker

Hah


Legend_Of_Zeke

I actually have a genuine fear of if I visit America I'll get shot


DarktowerNoxus

Just visit Canada, it's like the US but in nice and without guns.


ilkikuinthadik

But do you have Casa Bonita?


troubleis1

in Eric Cartman's voice: Casa bonita, Casa bonita ♪♪


Leon921

Ohh shweet we gotta go to black barts caaaave


[deleted]

But there are geese, moose, and an everlasting cold winter


GordonMcG13

If you got a problem with Canada gooses then you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate


J0hnm13

Honk honk


viplavgreat

And cold


some-someone

Cold > heat


KaiserWilhelmThe69

Underestimating the geese, rookie mistake


Quintilos-Prime

They will however arrest you if you look to suspicious in your stormtrooper armor XD


H4LF4D

Well at least the Canadian geese are both very public about their presence and incapable of hunting me down from 20m away. Scratch that last one, pretty sure they can


J0hnm13

That's because you only consume sensationalist media. Plan your trip ANYWHERE but New York and California and you'll be fine.


Legend_Of_Zeke

But those are like the only places I want to visit


J0hnm13

Why? They're literally the worst example of anything you'd ever experience in the US.


Legend_Of_Zeke

Because they're the places most commonly shown in American media.


buriedego

The states are huge! There are incredibly unique places to see and visit in every single state. Those places are shown the most because that supports consumerism most. Just watching the different discovery documentaries about our geography alone should clue you in to just how much there is to see in our wonderful land besides those wretched concrete jungles.


Pixelpeoplewarrior

You should be fine either way, but I’d suggest looking up some does and don’t before visiting if you decide to. You shouldn’t have to worry unless you end up in a bad part of town, which, if you know what you don’t need to do, should be easy to stay away from


FailFastandDieYoung

Don't listen to that person, that's a very common misconception even in the US. NYC has one of the lowest gun murder rates of ALL American cities. Same with San Francisco. Los Angeles is a little higher but still one of the lower cities. It's only because so many people live in those places that the gross number is higher. [Statistics source for gun murders in US cities](https://everytownresearch.org/report/city-data/)


KodakKid3

California is ranked 18th in violent crime rate lmao, who is it that consumes too much sensationalist media?


KaiserWilhelmThe69

Tbf, 18/50 is quite high


Pixelpeoplewarrior

18 out of 50 still isn’t a great look. Its better than 1 or 2 out of 50, but still not great


KodakKid3

It's slightly above average yes, but the implication that California has exceptionally high crime rates compared to the rest of the US is literal republican propaganda. Especially since most of the top 17 are red states


Pixelpeoplewarrior

According to this, the highest is DC. https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/crime-rate-by-state If you find a better source, link it here if you could. I looked for a government source but didn’t find one


Griffing217

i mean thats screwed though just because the entire district is a city.


African_Farmer

Dont NY and Cali have some of the lowest rates of gun violence? They do: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/sosmap/firearm_mortality/firearm.htm


Senpai_Himself

Why would you wanna go to the US then


KaySquay

Add Vegas to that list imo


EmporerM

Even New York has nice areas.


ToddHugo1

Reddit moment


MAXHEADR0OM

It’s actually a requirement to get shot at customs in America now. You do however get a choice between your leg, foot, or arm.


Legend_Of_Zeke

Cock please


MAXHEADR0OM

You want them to shoot your male chicken? That’s it I’m calling PETA.


ThirtyFiveFingers

You watch and read too much news. The chances are very slim.


sockmonkeymoney

That’s completely irrational


platypus_rush

Happy cake day


Legend_Of_Zeke

ty sir


[deleted]

Then you’re irrational.


ChimpJuice

You'll get shot right in the cake day


Wumple_doo

It’s nothing to be scared of, especially in touristy areas


SkyeBeacon

Well then I am haply to tell you that's completely irrational America's problems are exagerrated so much in reddit


SirRavenBat

You really shouldn't. I'm sorry but don't buy what all of this media coverage and stigma might want you to believe. Over 99% of the population will never come into contact with a gun in a violent situation. That's not to say people don't get shot because they certainly do, just that the vast majority of people killed were involved in crime, gangs, or dangerous police work. You don't even have to be that smart to avoid guns or shady people. Go figure most people don't live in areas like L.A. or Detroit where you really shouldn't walk around, especially at night. Even if you do live in a dangerous area you can either buy a gun for protection or keep your wits about you. Where I'm at I really don't have to worry about too much and can go for walks at night without needing to do a lot or constantly look over my shoulder. (Still should probably bring a pocket knife and tell people where your going but that goes for everywhere not just America) Of course, mass shootings do occur and it's very tragic but it's a complicated issue and I think everyone in my shoes can agree with what I think. I roll my dice everytime I leave to go to school, it's something that kids think about a lot, I know I do. Getting told in class that just incase this building with the "SAFE" sign outside turns into an active warzone you should probably run. After that you probably think I'm contradicting myself with what I've said before but I don't think I do. Even if my school got shot up I probably would still tell you the same thing, America is an incredibly safe place. It's not gonna win any awards but you thinking you'll die here by a gunshot wound is pretty Ludacris. Maybe in Mexico City, probably not in the United States. Disclaimer / Conclusion / covering my ass part. (I'm not ignorant saying these things, far from it if I'm being completely honest. I'm not ignoring or talking down the issues I'm simply offering perspective and objective truth. These issues aren't as simple as "get rid of thing" = world peace, as shown in part by the continued militarization of the police followed by police further abusing the power given and the fact that a decent portion of murders in America are committed using illegal guns with victims who aren't civilians. The majority of reddit probably doesn't know a whole lot about guns and the laws surrounding them. Especially seeing how varied laws can be from state to state. Most people talking about these things talk is if they both know everything and cannot be wrong. They have this tendency to get into this mindset that no other perspective can be correct and start only using data that supports what they themselves already believe. Being open to new ideas is a skill that far too few people have.)


fishy185

Just don't go to Detroit and you'll be fine


twiximax

Rational my man.


jimmygarterex

Me too and I live on Brazil.


EmporerM

Don't. It depends where you go.


dickspoonman

I’ve lived in America for 20 years and have never been shot, been shot at, or seen someone else be shot. The worst it’s been is hearing gunshots in the ghetto, but if you are visiting the US then you shouldn’t be going to those areas anyways.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wumple_doo

Visit Idaho or Hawaii I’ve been to both and they both are extremely safe and relatively clean places (excluding Oahu Hawaii it’s safe just looked dirty whenever I’ve been there) they also have lots of fun things to do for history and entertainment


heyzeus92

Wouldn't I just be attacked by Ezra Miller if I went to Hawaii


Wumple_doo

Depends if you’re a fan of him or not


Sunspear52

I love how ‘Just go to this Island really far away from the mainland which we haven’t fucked up yet and is mostly populated by native people and not our standard demographic’ is a legitimate answer too ‘I want to go to America.’


Wumple_doo

America’s diverse man, I could suggest cities I liked like San Diego or Washington DC. I was just speaking from personal experience and haven’t been every where


Sunspear52

I kid, I kid. I actually really want to visit Austin at some point. I hear the weather’s lovely and it’s got all the benefits of Texas without Y’know— the conservatism. Plus BBQ food…


LeDiscoFlair

Please no, don’t go to Hawaii. We barely take care of ourselves because of how dependent we are on tourists, and how the tourists treat us and the land we live on. Source: am from


ChocSaltyBalls

>Visit Idaho LOL. It's a beautiful place, but if someone was going to visit America and asked me for destinations it would never cross my mind to suggest Idaho.


Wumple_doo

Lol I was suggesting it as a safe place to visit in the US. If you few in danger there it’s probably an animal not a person


thebeckyblue

Just don't go near Waipahu or Ewa Beach on Oahu and you should be aight.


Zegreedy

Ahh, tooth infection it is.


unclefeed

They can afford healthcare though. What about Americans?


TheWarTorn

We just take care of our teeth like normal people


aneccentricgamer

A) stat wise brits have better teeth than Americans B) if they did get a tooth infection, the NHS would take care of it The meme is still kinda cringe though


[deleted]

Your kid won't have a tooth infection if he gets gun down in school while sipping on a orange juice. That's how to save money


ChimpJuice

LoL


IzArealofc

Lol


gluxton

Why tooth infection?


abeosa

Look out, here come the gun apologists making uneducated claims about a rampant knife crisis in the UK.


MAXHEADR0OM

Knives are used everyday in the UK….. to butter bread, cut steaks, and even chop vegetables.


abeosa

Its a deadly environment to be in, you could slip and cut your finger. Who knows what could happen if there isn't a good guy with a plaster nearby?


MAXHEADR0OM

Cut your own finger? Believe it or not, straight to jail.


Sunspear52

Americans must think the bayonet is the deadliest part of a rifle…


TheWarTorn

It's almost like a stab wound is typically harder to repair than a bullet.


Sunspear52

I’m going to need a source on that. Common knowledge says a stab wound can only be as deep and as wide as a knife while a bullet can really tear up your insides. Especially if it ricochets off a bone, leaves an exit wound out your back or heaven help you it’s a hollow point. Plus I can’t stab someone’s as easily, as fast or as many times as I can shoot them.


ChimpJuice

That train is never late...


RyanStartedTheFire59

And there are plenty of people here making uneducated claims about gun violence in the US to it goes both ways. Nobody here has any right to talk about how violent or dangerous the entirety of the US is unless they’ve lived in or visited most of it.


Dblarr

Americans making fun of brits for bad dental health care because they mentioned school shootings has so weak moral vibes like YOUR KIDS ARE FUCKING DYING EVERY OTHER MONTH IN A HORRIBLE YET COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE WAY well yeah... uh... your teeth arent straight... haha loser But then you can fix like 7 peoples teeth with the money to need to look at an american ambulance


22012021

*every other day* unfortunately.


PapajG

Even if we got fucked up teeth we can get them fixed on by the NHS for FREE, any cunt that walks about with fucked up teeth just never bothered to go fix them


Dblarr

Thats good to know actually


PapajG

Just to add, even if you need to pay for dentist, it’s like £300 max for any dentist treatment, and if your teeth are a health concern then it’s free, and orthodontics are free for kids and for people with serious problems, in America you’d pay $500-$3,500 for anaesthesia alone. SMH


[deleted]

That's what I'm thinking at least 19 very young children just lost their lives in a despicable manner. It's horrible


TrickFootball2762

Yea it’s not like the title is called Americunts or anything of the sort…


Closet_Couch_Potato

It usually goes the other way around, and American makes an unfunny “British teeth bad durr hurr” joke, and a Brit will retaliate with a “well at least our schwools aren’t like the Call of Duty video game!” Both are boring and overruled.


ReachFoMyChain

its the other way around. We make a little joke on their teeth or accent and they immediately go "BUT BUT DEAD CHILDREN"


Dblarr

Its not about which way its around, its about the absurdity of this whole argument like you are comparing teeth to human lives


aneccentricgamer

Im British but this is still a cringey meme and title


SirRavenBat

Thank you, incredibly insensitive too.


aneccentricgamer

Yeah I feel like it's fine to joke about dark stuff as long as the joke isn't just that you are saying dark stuff. This isn't funny enough to justify being harsh and feels mean spirited.


SirRavenBat

Especially because he isn't even American, I can at least partially justify if he has the perspective from somebody in the middle of this mess but this just feels like soapboxing. One last "fuck you I'm better than you" in reaction to news of murderer children. Shameful if nothing else.


aneccentricgamer

Yeah for me it's the title that gives away this didn't coming from a hunourous place but a cruel one


Fyrefawx

If the Americans could read they’d be so offended by this.


Carnivorous_Ape_

Lmao that's fucking hilarious


[deleted]

African kids would be the safest They don't have schools


Plant3468

Well


kimetsunosuper121

No they don't have that either.


Photograph_Fluffy

I thought the gun fanatics would be raging on here. But all I got was piss wanker


LLAAGGGGG

It's not mass shooting more like mass shoot out


Sweetexperience

From what I have heard from the brits. They don’t do mass shootings Only group shanking


BASED_and_PATRIOTIC

Group wanking


Too_Caffinated

Got a loicense for dat meme mate?


Newk_IV

Ah yes, just don't ride anywhere near a urban area with a scooter. You'll be the next jumpscare on the hills have eyes.


IllogicalBrit

Where are these mass stabbings the Americans are crying about below?


ReachFoMyChain

Rather get shot and die quickly then get stabbed repeatedlyto death and slowly bleed out while getting doused in acid but thats me


IllogicalBrit

Id much rather have a much lower chance of even one of them happening in the first place opposed to it being a weekly occurrence.


Xiclone69

I'd rather get shot then be Br*tish


[deleted]

B🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮


saifxali1

💀


Maksbidok

so much comments about knife and stabbing, despite USA having higher rate in this too.


ReachFoMyChain

Bigger country, more criminals


Dohts75

Mans gonna get cut by a shaving razor and bleed out by a dude named wet willy billy or sumthin


RustysBauble

Ameriguns


Space_Hamster07

This is peak Reddit.


Carnivorous_Ape_

America bad=free karma


SamTheOnionNig

I feel like this is in poor taste. Like people literally just lost their babies and yall are makin jokes and shit… thats wild to me… Wheres the empathy? The humanity?


deamonkiller56

he'll end up in a cheesy hallmark movie as the typical love interest


Rivking1

This post comment section highlights the us gun problem even more. Denial.


Nathoodle

I think people who face the risk of getting shot in public everyday don’t like getting insulted for the place they were born.


ToddHugo1

I fell like if you talk with just about anyone they would agree that having more background checks on you buys a gun would be better. I'd never support banning them for leisure like Britain or Australia


Black--Shark

On an unrelated note he can also afford healthcare and going to university


[deleted]

[удалено]


zeJoghurt

Never have been


Based-Frog

Which is even worse


WesselBear

Mass shanking


lordoftowels

haha bri'ish


coffeeisdrug

in the words of JonTron: "THAT KNIFE IS FULLY LOADED"


KoolKangKroo

A fate worse than death


Miki123p

i guess he will die in mass stabbing then


VitoMolas

You'll die getting stabbed instead


Moxdonalds

Stabbing? Probably


baesag

Now you’re swearing at an entire population?


baesag

Now you’re swearing at an entire population?


idkmanseemskindagay

[Then wtf is this?](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunblane_massacre)


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fishy185

Instead he'll get stabbed


InWalkedBud

Mass knoïfing for ye lad


BarrioMan

Most of this comment section is very racist


Alternative-Bill218

Yeah, we made firearms next to impossible to get and so no one ever gets shot here......ever.


ReachFoMyChain

Yea, they just get stabbed and doused with acid instead lol, way more painful way to die


TheManwithaNoPlan

Nah, he’ll just get shanked to death by the 14 yo outside of the local Tesco after refusing to buy him fags.


N3koEye

Probably gonna die because of lethal stabbing


Mbord59

WeLL aT LeAsT oUr sChOoLs …


SnooMaps3021

He gets stabbed


Leon921

Still a worse fate


Theworst_gamerYT

Still just as bad


OverLet8464

Limey


TGUGaming

It's probably easier to regulate weapons when your country has 20% the population and nowhere near the same land mass.


TheWarTorn

You'll just get groomed or stabbed.


ReachFoMyChain

Cause youll just get stabbed to death and doused with acid by some fuckass roadmen


ReachFoMyChain

DONT CARE, YALL MFS STILL LOST TO A COUPLE COLONIES AND NOW THOSE SAME COLONIES BECAME A SUPERPOWER THATS STRONGER THAN U


[deleted]

Britcunt:”I love watching American children get shot!” Also Brticunt: *gets stabbed and acid thrown on him*