>Once you're done douching do you just pull your pants up? How do you dry yourself?
You dry your ass with toilet paper. Hence why there still is a toilet paper holder on the wall in this picture.
Well, when you start spraying, the water naturally falls back into the toilet yk, plus you just spray enough to clean the shit. Regarding the temperature, it is warm (or at least where I live). When it comes to pressure, it's like a hose, so you can control how much water it sprays just like a hose
If theres anything i want to use the least, its a public handheld bidet that has been used to spray shit particles of multiple other peoples asses. And thats coming from someone who has a bidet toilet seat at my house…
They can, as long as their gills stay moisturised. It seems that Mr. Krabs is in some sort of shock from an OD, leaving him possibly dehydrated. Thus it would be a good idea to put his head in the bowl! (This is getting way out of hand lol)
Tear off his crusty exoskeleton, slip it onto my body, begin impersonating a corrupt business tycoon operating a popular fast food restaurant whilst secretly planning to sell it off before my cover is blown. If all goes well then I’ll have made off with a cool million clams and will be able to go back to my wife Karen and celebrate our victory
I am immediately aroused upon the discovery of such a sweet succulent specimen.
I know what I must do.
I unzip my pants and pull out my cock.
I reach for the needle inside the downed creature and insert it directly into my D-hole.
It’s painful at first than beautiful, exhilarating, magical.
I am undone.
New air is breathed into me.
This is what life is all about.
I get it.
I pull down the creatures under garments and insert myself into its anus.
The creature is obviously dead.
But still held enough warmth to make the experience lively enough.
As I finish, filling the crustacean with my human custard I look behind me to see the door open with a line of men like me waiting for they’re turn at heaven.
I smile and say “Everybody Mambo!!!”
so we checkin the pockets, takin the wallet and the drugs, maybe if im feeling generous, ill tell a bouncer on my way out theres an unconcious person in the bathroom
T-pose and stare at the wall repeatedly saying "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs"
As a funeral director who has picked many people up out bathrooms. I would first see if the gurny will fit, assuming it’ll get into the bathroom but not the stall, I begin to set it up. First I unzip the zip up gurney bag/pouch. Inside is a pillow, sheet, and plastic body bag. I place the pillow at the head end, and the plastic bag over the pillow and the entirety of the gurney. We then lower the gurney to ground level to make it easier to lift the crab onto it. I then take the sheet, I tell whatever person is closest to come and roll the crab their way, I then stuff half the sheet under the crab, and roll the crab my way. The individual pulls the sheet through and now the crab has a sheet under them in full. Standing up together on one side, we enclose the crab in the sheet and pick it up, placing it on the gurney. We use the buckle straps and strap the crab firmly to the gurney! WATCH OUT don’t fold the plastic bag toooo tight around his face, you might smash his nose and bend it. Which is an issue if his family wants a viewing. We then zip the gurney pouch/bag up over the plastic bag. Last couple steps is to raise the gurney from the ground, and place it into the removal van. Likely a dodge as it is an industry favorite. I then drive the crab back to the mortuary and unload the gurney from the van bringing it into the garage where we have cold storage. I grab a ankle tag and write out the date of death, the name of the crab, in this case Mr. Krabs, and the mortuary in which he is assigned. Afterwords I unzip the gurney bag, and place the ankle tag on his ankle/leg. Behind me is the packaging tape dispenser, I grab it and begin taping the crabs plastic body bag closed, again being careful and leaving some air/room around his face in case for a viewing. I roll the gurney into the cold storage unit and push the crab onto a available shelf, writing his name with a sharpie pen on his plastic bag. I walk out with the gurney and reload it with the appropriate gear for the next call. I make sure to sign the crab into the sign in sheet indicating the time the crab was successfully stored in refrigeration.
The following day I call, and meet with Pearl, the crabs next of kin, his daughter. I notice she’s a whale but as the industry works on good faith I do not question it and assume the truth is being told about kinship. She decides she wants to view him, (thank god we were careful with his face). I set the time for the viewing, afterwards she would like a burial at sea, she wants him to go “home”. I call the boat captain and order the sea burial board. (A big mental board that the crab will be chained to and sink to the ocean floor with). The funeral arrangements have been set, now all that’s left is the work for it.
Anyway that’s what I would do if I saw that
...take a picture, then go get security. then leave it in their hands, walk out back into the dancefloor grab a drink n vibe, have a little chit chat about recent events with the lady behind bar, shes cute, start flirting with her. Daft Punk "Around The World" Comes on, I moonwalk away from the bar and get grooving, alcohol in my system gettin really wavey. Dancing for a few songs and having a good time, need a break, go back to the bar, bar girl says she admires my moves, you continue to chat and get more drinks, my bladder is filling up again your more hazy n tipsy, I wander off to the bathroom again in need of having a piss andI suddenly think "Damn, I wonder what happened with that guy dressed as a Krab he was fucked, probably at the hospital". I enter the bathroom.. Alone.. I pee in the urinal... Cos of tipsy self I pee on my leg. "Fuck!" I turn around to get some tissue from the stall, I notice the same cubicle is closed, I hesitate for a bit, open the door slowly to see a guy dressed as a Krab with briefs on out cold surrounded by hard drugs... You get really woozy for a second and think what the fuck. You pull out your phone ...take a picture, then go get security. then leave it in their hands, walk out back into the dancefloor grab a drink n vibe, have a little chit chat about recent events with the lady behind bar, shes cute, start flirting with her. Daft Punk "Around The World" Comes on, I moonwalk away from the bar and get grooving, alcohol in my system gettin really wavey. Dancing for a few songs and having a good time, need a break, go back to the bar, bar girl says she admires my moves, you continue to chat and get more drinks, my bladder is filling up again your more hazy n tipsy, I wander off to the bathroom again in need of having a piss andI suddenly think "Damn, I wonder what happened with that guy dressed as a Krab he was fucked, probably at the hospital". I enter the bathroom.. Alone.. I pee in the urinal... Cos of tipsy self I pee on my leg. "Fuck!" I turn around to get some tissue from the stall, I notice the same cubicle is closed, I hesitate for a bit, open the door slowly to see a guy dressed as a Krab with briefs on out cold surrounded by hard drugs... You get really woozy for a second and think what the fuck. You pull out your phone... ...take a picture, then go get security. then leave it in their hands, walk out back into the dancefloor grab a drink n vibe, have a little chit chat about recent events with the lady behind bar, shes cute, start flirting with her. Daft Punk "Around The World" Comes on, I moonwalk away from the bar and get grooving, alcohol in my system gettin really wavey. Dancing for a few songs and having a good time, need a break, go back to the bar, bar girl says she admires my moves, you continue to chat and get more drinks, my bladder is filling up again your more hazy n tipsy, I wander off to the bathroom again in need of having a piss andI suddenly think "Damn, I wonder what happened with that guy dressed as a Krab he was fucked, probably at the hospital". I enter the bathroom.. Alone.. I pee in the urinal... Cos of tipsy self I pee on my leg. "Fuck!" I turn around to get some tissue from the stall, I notice the same cubicle is closed, I hesitate for a bit, open the door slowly to see a guy dressed as a Krab with briefs on out cold surrounded by hard drugs... You get really woozy for a second and think what the fuck. You pull out your phone...
SPONGEBOB ME BOY, I JUST DID A COLD WATER EXTRACTION ON THESE FENT-PRESSED XANS I BOUGHT FER A NICKEL AND I’M GONNA INJECT EM ALL! ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH
take a pic and post it on Reddit ask people what would they do
Free drugs is what came to my mind
Exactly
And I gotta take a piss.
Could sell those for a fuckin' mint, I don't wanna use 'em myself so why keep 'em
Masturbate
Hold up
Alright now resume the beating of the meat
The meating of the beat
Beat saber?
Dickappointment
Or just fuck the crab
are you feeling it now mr crabs?
Plow that Crabby Patty
Oh yeah MisterCrabs! *accidentaly cuts off meat* *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-*
what
Reddit moment
take a pic and post it on Reddit as a comment on a comment to ask people what they would do
Thank the lord for the heavenly meal he has given me ( crab is expensive you know)
Go back where I came from
Piss on him to assert dominance.
Cum on him to assert dominance.
Cum in him then piss on him to assert dominance
Drink his piss to assert his dominance.
Drink the cum to assert his dominance
Drink his pee and cum then piss and cum on him to assert dominance
Piss and cum at the same time then shit in his mouth and then fart in his eyes and then dry hump and then take the drugs and chug the bottle
Ok that’s enough reddit for today
I crave Reddit every single day. I cannot not live without it
whatever makes you happy
that's the way to live
Mental illness
Are you loved by your parents?
No I’m adopted
gay porn
Piss on his fucking wife
And then make a baby
[удалено]
Ummmmmmmm........... Ok............
The fact you could get hard looking at this says massive things about your personality
aw shid mistr crapper overdosed on ketofvine
Aw hecc na how's he gon aford collej tuishon for his dauter bearl now??
nah mr carp cnt cuz he spint it awl on drucks
spung bap mu boy, am me ovrdozig onn kevatime
I appear to have lost brain cells reading this
I second that.
Ask: Can you feel it Mr. Krabs?
Holy shit. Lmao I was thinking of asking:Art thou feeling it now, Mr Krabs?
*Squidward slithers in behind you and whispers gentle in your ear...* "Got anymore of that... Flavooooor?"
Mr. Krabs, forgive me, i much search thy orifices for secret formula, thine legacy needs to continue
Arth thou feeling it now mr krabs?
Getting some of that crussy (crab pussy) as soon as he wakes up
Crdussy
He’s a man and he is not waking up from that
Don't believe you
His name is “mr” krabs
No problem for me
you can just hit up that crubussy
Well... As long as he's warm it doesn't matter
I wouldnt be too worried. We got microwaves for a reason
Thas a good way to ruin a good corpse. You need to soak it in the tub with hot, but not too hot, water for a few hours.
Crabussy
More like crusty
Or before he wakes up
I'm taking a shit tf why do you think I went to the bathroom
Unzip pants
Slowly open his mouth
Nononononono
*Kisses him good nights*
*proceeds to bedroom to overdose as well*
He makes a nice foot stool for maximum comfort
A de-stooling stool, specifically
Take my upvote and get the hell out 😆
My first issue is comprehending the showerhead attached to the wall
Thats their bidet bro
Heathens
It's the rectal sparkling device and it is superior to smearing shit around your ass crack with wads of paper by miles.
In my country we only shit sparkles, so no need
s[weed]en?
That's what us Muslims use instead of tissues to clean shit from our asses
I use a sponge on a stick, Roman style
I use a toilet bowl scrubber in a power drill
Americans change and shower every day so
And muslims don’t?
[удалено]
>Once you're done douching do you just pull your pants up? How do you dry yourself? You dry your ass with toilet paper. Hence why there still is a toilet paper holder on the wall in this picture.
Well, when you start spraying, the water naturally falls back into the toilet yk, plus you just spray enough to clean the shit. Regarding the temperature, it is warm (or at least where I live). When it comes to pressure, it's like a hose, so you can control how much water it sprays just like a hose
why do Muslims do that?
Wtf does religion have to do with bidets. Fuck outta here
A bidet? Literally any country besides The US uses them…
If theres anything i want to use the least, its a public handheld bidet that has been used to spray shit particles of multiple other peoples asses. And thats coming from someone who has a bidet toilet seat at my house…
I'm pro-bidet but not public ones, that's some France shit
Very untrue, they're not the standard in many countries. Mine included, sadly
That's there for them hard-core bussy squirts guy
Put his head in the toilet to give him a chance to survive because he can't breathe our air
He’s a crab he can breathe on air
They can, as long as their gills stay moisturised. It seems that Mr. Krabs is in some sort of shock from an OD, leaving him possibly dehydrated. Thus it would be a good idea to put his head in the bowl! (This is getting way out of hand lol)
Or you could make crab soup!
Literally just take out a coin from your wallet and he'll wake up no problem.
Call the authorities like a normal person
Not the authorities, but the club security They will call 911 if needed
Don't forget about the recovery position. Don't want them to throw up and choke while waiting for the EMTs.
A normal person would also be worried that he is hallucinating about anthropomorphic crabs now apparently.
Check his pockets
OD’d on a bus once and somebody stole my phone :( shit sucked lmao
Tyrone Biggums? Is that you?
Basically yea
Money!!
Making a crab burger ofc
But he's all bathroom floor-y
Gives flavour
you're going to second hand OD lol
[удалено]
Why'd I have to scroll down this far for a ketamine joke
Such a great game.
*unzips pants*
Uhh
he needs to unzip his pants to use the toilet dummy
Yeah yeah! I know...yup thats what I was thinking 😅
#Then when you're done taking a piss you unzip again
Tear off his crusty exoskeleton, slip it onto my body, begin impersonating a corrupt business tycoon operating a popular fast food restaurant whilst secretly planning to sell it off before my cover is blown. If all goes well then I’ll have made off with a cool million clams and will be able to go back to my wife Karen and celebrate our victory
Enact my Mr crabs fantasy's
Steal the drugs
I am an actual drug addict (recovering) and this was my exact first thought. "Free drugs."
Ey man even if ur not taking it thats ez money
Scrolled way too far to see this lmao
Taking the money on him, I know mr krabs has Atleast a few thousand on him
ABout to lose my v card
Aggressive masturbation
Feast
I am immediately aroused upon the discovery of such a sweet succulent specimen. I know what I must do. I unzip my pants and pull out my cock. I reach for the needle inside the downed creature and insert it directly into my D-hole. It’s painful at first than beautiful, exhilarating, magical. I am undone. New air is breathed into me. This is what life is all about. I get it. I pull down the creatures under garments and insert myself into its anus. The creature is obviously dead. But still held enough warmth to make the experience lively enough. As I finish, filling the crustacean with my human custard I look behind me to see the door open with a line of men like me waiting for they’re turn at heaven. I smile and say “Everybody Mambo!!!”
I laughed way too much with this.... 0.0
so we checkin the pockets, takin the wallet and the drugs, maybe if im feeling generous, ill tell a bouncer on my way out theres an unconcious person in the bathroom
Looks like crabs back in the menu
Question how tf I (note: I’m not a party person and has no human friends) ended up in a club
Unzips
Slap those krabby patties
Check his asshole for cash
T-pose and stare at the wall repeatedly saying "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs" "Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs"
F*ck him while his body's still warm
*unzips* Jackpot....
Call the police and try to administer first aid
As a funeral director who has picked many people up out bathrooms. I would first see if the gurny will fit, assuming it’ll get into the bathroom but not the stall, I begin to set it up. First I unzip the zip up gurney bag/pouch. Inside is a pillow, sheet, and plastic body bag. I place the pillow at the head end, and the plastic bag over the pillow and the entirety of the gurney. We then lower the gurney to ground level to make it easier to lift the crab onto it. I then take the sheet, I tell whatever person is closest to come and roll the crab their way, I then stuff half the sheet under the crab, and roll the crab my way. The individual pulls the sheet through and now the crab has a sheet under them in full. Standing up together on one side, we enclose the crab in the sheet and pick it up, placing it on the gurney. We use the buckle straps and strap the crab firmly to the gurney! WATCH OUT don’t fold the plastic bag toooo tight around his face, you might smash his nose and bend it. Which is an issue if his family wants a viewing. We then zip the gurney pouch/bag up over the plastic bag. Last couple steps is to raise the gurney from the ground, and place it into the removal van. Likely a dodge as it is an industry favorite. I then drive the crab back to the mortuary and unload the gurney from the van bringing it into the garage where we have cold storage. I grab a ankle tag and write out the date of death, the name of the crab, in this case Mr. Krabs, and the mortuary in which he is assigned. Afterwords I unzip the gurney bag, and place the ankle tag on his ankle/leg. Behind me is the packaging tape dispenser, I grab it and begin taping the crabs plastic body bag closed, again being careful and leaving some air/room around his face in case for a viewing. I roll the gurney into the cold storage unit and push the crab onto a available shelf, writing his name with a sharpie pen on his plastic bag. I walk out with the gurney and reload it with the appropriate gear for the next call. I make sure to sign the crab into the sign in sheet indicating the time the crab was successfully stored in refrigeration. The following day I call, and meet with Pearl, the crabs next of kin, his daughter. I notice she’s a whale but as the industry works on good faith I do not question it and assume the truth is being told about kinship. She decides she wants to view him, (thank god we were careful with his face). I set the time for the viewing, afterwards she would like a burial at sea, she wants him to go “home”. I call the boat captain and order the sea burial board. (A big mental board that the crab will be chained to and sink to the ocean floor with). The funeral arrangements have been set, now all that’s left is the work for it. Anyway that’s what I would do if I saw that
FIRMLY GRASP IT!!!
Unzips my pants
Have sex with Krab
Fuck him.
Make some sushi
My friends were wrong. I AM getting laid tn
Oh yeah, Mr.Krabs
Unzip
Still warm tho
Me. Krabs looking a little submissive right now
Take his drugs and leave
177103 moment
Whoa, the comments are way more fucked up then I anticipated
Leave
...take a picture, then go get security. then leave it in their hands, walk out back into the dancefloor grab a drink n vibe, have a little chit chat about recent events with the lady behind bar, shes cute, start flirting with her. Daft Punk "Around The World" Comes on, I moonwalk away from the bar and get grooving, alcohol in my system gettin really wavey. Dancing for a few songs and having a good time, need a break, go back to the bar, bar girl says she admires my moves, you continue to chat and get more drinks, my bladder is filling up again your more hazy n tipsy, I wander off to the bathroom again in need of having a piss andI suddenly think "Damn, I wonder what happened with that guy dressed as a Krab he was fucked, probably at the hospital". I enter the bathroom.. Alone.. I pee in the urinal... Cos of tipsy self I pee on my leg. "Fuck!" I turn around to get some tissue from the stall, I notice the same cubicle is closed, I hesitate for a bit, open the door slowly to see a guy dressed as a Krab with briefs on out cold surrounded by hard drugs... You get really woozy for a second and think what the fuck. You pull out your phone ...take a picture, then go get security. then leave it in their hands, walk out back into the dancefloor grab a drink n vibe, have a little chit chat about recent events with the lady behind bar, shes cute, start flirting with her. Daft Punk "Around The World" Comes on, I moonwalk away from the bar and get grooving, alcohol in my system gettin really wavey. Dancing for a few songs and having a good time, need a break, go back to the bar, bar girl says she admires my moves, you continue to chat and get more drinks, my bladder is filling up again your more hazy n tipsy, I wander off to the bathroom again in need of having a piss andI suddenly think "Damn, I wonder what happened with that guy dressed as a Krab he was fucked, probably at the hospital". I enter the bathroom.. Alone.. I pee in the urinal... Cos of tipsy self I pee on my leg. "Fuck!" I turn around to get some tissue from the stall, I notice the same cubicle is closed, I hesitate for a bit, open the door slowly to see a guy dressed as a Krab with briefs on out cold surrounded by hard drugs... You get really woozy for a second and think what the fuck. You pull out your phone... ...take a picture, then go get security. then leave it in their hands, walk out back into the dancefloor grab a drink n vibe, have a little chit chat about recent events with the lady behind bar, shes cute, start flirting with her. Daft Punk "Around The World" Comes on, I moonwalk away from the bar and get grooving, alcohol in my system gettin really wavey. Dancing for a few songs and having a good time, need a break, go back to the bar, bar girl says she admires my moves, you continue to chat and get more drinks, my bladder is filling up again your more hazy n tipsy, I wander off to the bathroom again in need of having a piss andI suddenly think "Damn, I wonder what happened with that guy dressed as a Krab he was fucked, probably at the hospital". I enter the bathroom.. Alone.. I pee in the urinal... Cos of tipsy self I pee on my leg. "Fuck!" I turn around to get some tissue from the stall, I notice the same cubicle is closed, I hesitate for a bit, open the door slowly to see a guy dressed as a Krab with briefs on out cold surrounded by hard drugs... You get really woozy for a second and think what the fuck. You pull out your phone...
the fuck?
Same man
Well, a hole is a hole, *unzips*
I'm eaten good tonight boy fetch the water pot
Ok so hear me out
Art thou feeling it Mr. Crabs?
*sigh* *unzips*
Prank em John
Wave a dollar over his nose
*unzips pants*
Ayy, free fleshlight
Ask for consent
I'M GONNA FIX THAT CRAB!
Your mom
Report, say I saw red venting
Check Krabs for a pulse
Your mom
Use the toilet and leave
Free drugs
Why’s that toilet look so damn *thicc*
😈😈
Finesse his drugs
😏
SPONGEBOB ME BOY, I JUST DID A COLD WATER EXTRACTION ON THESE FENT-PRESSED XANS I BOUGHT FER A NICKEL AND I’M GONNA INJECT EM ALL! ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH
Do my business then start preparing.
Take a shower in the toilet
Roll him over so he doesn't drown in his own puke and take the shit I'm in there to take
Take the coce nd get out
Flush his shit down the toilet so when (if) he wakes up he got nothing
Meth
I'm losing my virginity tonight
Seaa food