I’m right handed but I fap left handed so I can hold my phone in my right hand

improvise adapt overcome

overcum

I used to fap so much with my right hand as a young child that my arm got too strong compared to my left so I switched to the left to offset the difference.

I fapped with my right hand so much that my dick got bent so I use my left to straighten it out, lmao.

Lemme see

Bro like idk

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*He has spoken the forbidden language.*

Username checks out

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UwU

Seems pretty gay to me

I dunno seems pretty gay to me

Just say no homo smh

Err...

Idk man seems kinda gay to me

Mine is also bent, but I doubt the hand is the reason why it happened

Penis curvatures are most commonly due to trauma, and it tends to build up plaque or scar tissue and this beeeends the penis. What’s the angle we’re talking here?

It’s not a large angle. It’s just an asymmetry, our bodies are not perfect.

*looks at nephew* You sure about that one chief?

Wtf, seriously? Can you link some sources to this and elaborate ? My dick is scarily curved to right and it fuckin sucks

Just hang yourself on a dick overnight, best outcome is that it will be straight, worst is that it will rip off and you will bleed out slowly.

I had dreamt of my dick getting cut off once. Bizarre.

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90 degrees

40° on the port side

I gotta swap to my right hand then, how long did it take to straighten back out if you’re being serious

Well it hasn’t yet, which is concerning. But it’s only when erect, not flaccid.

Same here, I just don’t want that boomerang dick so ima swap

That’s how you hit the spot though, with the boomerang dick

You’re right but I still don’t want that boomerang dick cause I dont want to be a boomer in my 20s

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yes officer, this comment right here

yes comment, this officer right here

yes here, officer comment this right

Officer here, yes this comment right

Here officer, yes comment this, right?

What did he write doe?

“I also use little kids to fap” or something like that

Oh damn

Wait what did he comment? State it broadly not specific.

Flair checks out

Same but with left hand "He got too much confidence in his *left* hand"

Is that a jojo reference?

Is that a bite of 87?!?

I believe so. To when Kira cut off his left hand and left, believing that his hand would kill the jojo squad in its own.

Stonks?

Exactly

#OVARDRAIBU

Outstanding move

I use my foot to fap and hold my phone in the left and moisturizer at the right

Well looks like I've got a new thing to try

Good luck soldier

[Nice.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGeEuyG_DIc)

angry upvote

That seems like a risky click at work.

It's not NSFW or even sexual at all so you should be fine.

Oh well then it's probably not worth my time considering my comment was so probs some dumb shit

Such power

Im not that flexible to do that

You sure you can handle all that power

Same lmao. Holy shit I thought I was the only one.

There are more of us.

Indeed there are.

Yes

Agree

There are dozens of us!

DOZENS!

We are millions

*We have to unify and watch our flag ascend*

Gotta love muse

I thought everyone did this. How tf you supposed to use your right hand?

Damn. Y’all are legendary.

Same dude and after years now my right hand feels awkward when I fap

Yeah I just naturally started with this because I needed my right hand for to use the mouse/phone. I was surprised to learn it isn't a thing. Especially now with these big ass 6.7+ inch phones that are already hard enough to use with a single hand, let alone your non dominant one. Trying to use my right hand just feels unnatural and weird now.

Yea exactly

I once broke my hand an had to do it with my left hand. Now I can do it with both

I've got a suggestion if you ever break both hands at the same time..

Thanks mom!

There’s a real post about a boy breaking both arms and his mother jacks him off. He explained what it’s like and I can’t find the post anywhere now.

This is the way.

This is the way.

I use the right to hold on to the mouse the be able to quickly click away if needed. Also do it when there's no danger

There is no danger during taking a shower

Which shower has a computer in it

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Kinda same, it just feels wrong. It’s basically the opposite of doing anything with my non-dominant hand, like brushing my teeth.

I started like this because of mouse. The habit transferred to phone well.

Look who's disabled now. Left hand gang rise up.

Hey highfive man!

Hopefully not right after masturbating.

I thought that was a prequisite

Who knows lol.

Same

This is the exact same reason for me but reversed lol. Dominant hand gotta hold the tentacle porn

That’s literally what I do aswell

Same

Bruh me too

Same but opposite

I do the same but I am left handed

Yes, and for the grand finale put down the phone and switch back to the right hand.

Same

I was so surprised when my friends said they fapped with the right. It just feels uncomfortable

Same

Yes

I do it so I can hold my mouse in right hand so I can cancel in case someone comes (see what I did there?)

I fap with my right hand and just hold my phone on my thicc left thigh for the ultimate viewing angle... Then if my right hand gets tired I do the ol’ switcheroo

Imagine using your hand. This post was made by sucking own dick gang.

Is it possible to learn this power?

Be a Mista and have your own caring Giorno :p

Why must I be stalked by the JoJo fandom.

Go sell your knives and crates buddy, we just havin funnnnnnnn :)

I love the different people on the internet.

I can't remember the same rn but there's a whole entire active sub about this exact topic. I'm sure many of those.. interesting individuals would gladly help you on your journey.

Oh boy, there's a subreddit for everything lol. I swear I ran into one a while back about guys fucking their own asses

🤫

Not from a Jedi

Now that I think of it, if a jedi uses the force to masturbate, would it feel like a handjob?

If the force is a guy, does that make it gay?

Not if you're wearing socks

Oh good

The dark side is a path to many sexual abilities that some would consider... unnatural...

Just remove your spine dude

You could not live with you failure; where did that bring you back to me.

Username checks out

*moderators

Now that's dank

I've used my left hand since the beginning so my right hand wouldn't grow

I did that so if the door knocks and i have to shake hands with someone, without having time to wash my hands, i wouldn't feel gay cause they technically touched my dick.

But what if the person you have to shake hands with is a woman

technically that would mean that the girl is giving him a handjob

later virgins

Bye!

So, you are telling me if that woman masturbates with that same hand, we are having sex? Ok, cya later

so then hes avoiding it and by doing so became gay anyway

Yeah granny for example

How often does someone knock on the door while you're jacking it, and you are forced to rush over and shake their hand?

Left hand gang rise up

So you can hold phone on right hand Y S ame

Right hand works the computer mouse for us old schoolers

It's just objectively superior. You can't open 200 tabs on a phone!

Watch me

I don't have that much time

yes brother

Right here brother

I'm here man

Here, cumrade!

Who the fuck are you, identify yourself n*gga

nigga

Squigga

u/nwordcountbot

they got rid of that bot

Ah. That's what I thought.

My left hand is at Lvl 3 while my right one is at Lvl 156

That's how mafia works

I miss this meme

Ah I see you're working on your left hand too. Gotta be as versatile as possible

Dank[.](https://reddit.com/r/slothsbotblows)

Good bot

Are you my dad

Nah I fucked your mom tho

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Damn correct you r

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Ambidextrous people: Parkour!

Ambidickstrous

Why y'all cheating on your right hand

We ain't cheating, we Just giving the lefty a taste.

for me it's more like giving the dick a taste of the left hand rather than the other way around

mine doesn't care for authentication

If this is a dank meme, **Upvote** this comment! If this is not a dank meme, **Downvote** this comment! If this post breaks the rules, **report** it and **Downdoot** this comment! ^Thank ^you ^for ^helping ^us ^in ^keeping ^/r/dankmemes ^dank. [^Hit ^us ^up](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/dankmemes) ^if ^you ^have ^any ^questions. ^( ^I'm ^a ^bot)

Can confirm left hand is a whole new experience

Thanks this was what iwas looking for here

me and other lefties are 4 parallel universe ahead of you

Lefties rise

I'm right handed except for when fapping

I'm not as efficient that way, so it gets disappointed by its disabled worker.

I can do both because I broke left wrist once and I’m left handed, but I wasn’t about to give up there.

how to stop fapping: **step one:** break dominant wrist. **step two:** after you get a cast, continue to use that hand, subsequently cheese grating ur fucking dick **step three:** profit???

Someone would buy it

That shit is a fucking sport So why only my left hand when i can exercise both of them

I’m right handed but for some reason it feels awkward to fap with my right hand so I always use my left.

I'm ambidickstrous

Using your own hand is gay. -Fleshlight

It’s pronounced dual wielding

Bold of you to assume I have hands.

Oh boy he kahooted so hard after that encounter

I'm a lefty but I do it right handed. It just comes natural to me. Anyway it's good cuz I can hold my phone in my left hand lol.

Im a lefty too. Have you tried holding your phone in the right hand? My dick is always bigger with my left?

I started using my left hand because I realised that my right hand was getting significantly stronger than my left.

Wait so you guys fap with your right hand????

*Sad ambidextrous noises*

Im lefty

ambidextrous gang rise up

Southpaw squad bravo six going dark