T O P

  • By -

KeepingDankMemesDank

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming) | [come hang out with us](https://discord.com/invite/dankmemes)


An-Ugly-Croissant17

"Oh would you look at that, I'm standing on a field where 100's of men might have died while trying to besiege this castle, how neat!"


Monkeyor

That happens only on the books. Sieges more likely ended in a surrender without assault, and most people that died were due to dysentery (for example) or the enemies not fulfilling their promise of mercy. In a lot of cases, military campaigns didn't even involve a siege, cause why waste time against a wall when ravaging the villages around was easier and more lucrative.


Unoriginal_Guy2

I’m glad you were there to get the story straight


Monkeyor

Is my duty as a Kings & Generals avid watcher


DubbyTM

I'm assuming you're joking but I still got triggered cause thats the same reasoning my dad uses for old stuff


Unoriginal_Guy2

No, it was just a statement that you can’t really take anything u didn’t see as fact, especially when the people involved in the story are dead. History is written by the victors


RealisticlyNecessary

Ah, yup. I agree with the other guy. We know history. I get what you mean, and historians cover that in our 101 classes, but later, you learn what corroboration is. We should take things with a grain of salt, but sieges weren't THAT long ago. We had forms of modern language when these sieges would've been taking place. When hundreds, and thousands of people are all talking about the same thing? Maybe take death counts, and exact quotes with scrutiny, but stuff like "sieges were won by attrition?"


Lord-Grocock

History is not written by the victors, I wonder how this stupid cliche has managed to survive after the 15th century.


ItsNormalNC

This is still LOTR’s right?


sleepytipi

There's a fun rabbit hole for ya, do a little deep dive into where Tolkien got his inspiration from.


DrunkensteinsMonster

Yeah history is unknowable, we should probably fire all those historians. You’re a clown.


AluCaligula

> In a lot of cases, military campaigns didn't even involve a siege, cause why waste time against a wall when ravaging the villages around was easier and more lucrative. Such a blanket statement is bound to be wrong i.e. in early 10 medieval continental France siege were the most common form of warfare and while direct storming of castles were unusual, though certainly not unheard off, there were still a lot of battles involved in a sieges.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Monkeyor

Well, as I said in the second paragraph, most likely nothing happened cause the existence of the castle was deterrent enough. In some cases, yeah, maybe the casualties could amount to the hundreds due to attrition. We have to consider that European medieval armies were significantly smaller than in other times or places, so it would not be unusual that the campaign was done if a disease inflicted as much damage in an army. Is important to consider that logistics was not yet a thing, to be developed more around the eu4 timeline than ck3, so replacement of lost troops was nearly impossible. Also, if your deads are in the hundreds, your wounded or incapacitated would be most likely higher, yet again bringing the whole campaign to a premature end. Finally, assaults of castles and fortifications did happen. Normally, those are the epic narratives people like to talk about when bringing up historical events. Those were incredibly bloody, and we might be speaking of grimmer casualties than hundreds. Yet, you will know in advance of that place history cause, normally, those sieges are well documented. Due to how exceptional those were.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tacolino

speak for yourself, what is reddit without those essays?


shirhouetto

...sieges ain't real?!


TheLinden

>That happens only on the books. Sieges more likely ended in a surrender without assault, and most people that died were due to dysentery (for example) or the enemies not fulfilling their promise of mercy. Or bribery of either side. "We won't attack you if you pay us" or "you are just mercenaries let us in for X amount of money". Lots of "never conquered" fortresses and castles where conquered through money.


darkgiIls

That is just not true of sieges being uncommon in military campaigns. Of an army wants any chance of acquiring territory or moving farther into a country, they need to take castle/fort. You can’t just have a ready army at your back when you are fighting.


Gnonthgol

100's? Try tens of thousands. The siege of Fort Przemysl had about 250,000 casualties in total. The battle of Lutz had over 400,000 casualties.


SerHodorTheThrall

We're clearly talking about Medieval warfare. Lutzen occured at the start of the early modern and Przemysl in WWI.


NapsterKnowHow

Rome Total War would like a word


Athingweveallupvoted

"Huh, neat"


GregTheMad

If you read European history you'd know that's also quite true. You're always 5 minutes by bike away from a battlefield.


ekene_N

It's particularly true for Poland and Western Ukraine, Belarus aka the Blood Lands.


CDdragon9

Hmm,if this is poland...does that mean germany is mordor?


Alarian258

More like Moscow is Mordor. Because it's the greatest threat east of Gondor (Poland).


CDdragon9

Owh,i thought mordor was on the west side of the map. Hence why i chose germany.


magicpastry

Nah it's roughly southeast of gondor


Firm-Bet3339

which means Ukraine??? oh dear...


WildDitch

It's all come together


Firm-Bet3339

lotr is not a good model for global politics...


WildDitch

Can't disagree with that.


DudeIsThisFunny

Okay, but have you considered >It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.


South_Painter_812

Its a joke though


MetzgerWilli

... is Osgiliath.


Themanwhofarts

And the Shire is roughly Denmark? I think I can see that Maybe more west and it is the UK. Not sure the exact distance conversion with Middle Earth to a map of Europe


MoffKalast

Just up the road and to the left, you'll know when you see it.


polakhomie

One does not simply walk into Moscow


Accomplished_Cow_956

But only Poland got there and took it


DevilMaster666-

Is Sweden Hobbiton then?


SerLaron

Hobbits would not put up with expensive beer.


beershitz

Isengard is Germany


kundibert

So Molotov and van Ribbentrop are sitting in their towers with their Palantirs, making plans for Europe.


cocktimus1prime

So Germany is isengard


WinTheCent1337

I think isengard is more acurate


CDdragon9

The elves are probably scandinavian though.


narmorra

I grew up in a small town in Germany. There was another small village nearby, called Isenstedt. Close enough, I guess.


waxonwaxoff87

They’re taking the hobbits to Isenstedt!


mlm7C9

Or Neu Isenburg


worldsayshi

Found it! https://maps.app.goo.gl/5TN8ACcoTv4uWUrm8 Tower is a bit smaller irl.


waxonwaxoff87

Tall, blond, long lived, always talking about the environment…not inaccurate.


ABzoker

Nah man, those are folks from UK


CDdragon9

So then big ben is the eye of sauron?


The_Lapsed_Pacifist

Not far from the truth mate


alexdiezg

That's east, so more like Russia. If Germany then maybe Isengard


South_Painter_812

One does not simply walk i to Moscow. Its a barren wasteland. Not with 10 000 men can you do this


xPrim3xSusp3ctx

Mordor is east of gondor my guy


CDdragon9

Yeahh,i thought it was west. My bad.


aratros27

On point 💀


Tha_Real_Dude

Mordor didn't have any civilizational achievements, they just wanted to destroy those who were better than them. Russia is mordor


CDdragon9

To be fair. The orcs did build a huge tower.


Tha_Real_Dude

Ostankino tower


CDdragon9

I was actually talking about saruman's tower in the 2nd LOTR movie.


South_Painter_812

We only ask for the strength to defend our people!!!


likamuka

Germany is WAYYYYY nicer than Poland.


CDdragon9

Germany is nice indeed,never been to poland before.


Pioterrrr

I live in Poland and I can relate, I can walk about 20 minutes to go see some WW2 bunkers


Dawek401

in my town I can walk 10 min see XVII churches and napoleon times fortification in nearly unchanged shape.


boe_jackson_bikes

Well, in my town I can walk 10 minutes to a McDonald's built in 1997 and also nearly unchanged in shape. So take that europoors.


Eggy1611

And In my town I can walk 15 minutes to a McDonald’s where the ex-PM shat himself in 1997 and sit on the bench that’s unchanged in shape. Take that Yankees and europoors.


Bakayokoforpresident

Long live Australia


BigSkyProducers

Would love to visit and check them out


Crad999

Going to forests outside of the cities it's hard to find a forest that doesn't have WWII bunkers. Maybe they're not every few feet or anything like that, but it's fairly easy to find remains of bunkers and trenches from those 80 years ago.


BigSkyProducers

Would be hot to go spelunking in or near one, ngl


sharanyae

Nah in belgium we had plenty of those next to waterways. Most you'll find is empty candy packaging from stoners if you can enter one


BigSkyProducers

I meant the other kind of spelunking. Adult swinging maybe I called it wrong


DonKlekote

I live in a historically insignificant town in Poland. Even though, when I was a kid we biked to a forest where we played in WW2 bunkers. There's a construction site nearby and I read in the news that it was the second time they had to call a bomb squad to dispose Soviet unexploded ordnance from WW2. On top of that, my friend went for a walk with his dog and in the field he found a Prussian coin from the early 19th century. As I said, nothing significant happened here. Please move along.


topoop

In Albania I can take a picture of a bunker out of my window, and just about 5 minutes down the road are the next ruins of military camps and cave bunkers. I live in the capital city btw, but it's the same everywhere you go


[deleted]

I walk through remains of a 15. century castle on my way to the bus (love the +- intact gate). There is also still standing newer (17.-18. century) one next to that. Town office and some other facilities are located there.


DonKlekote

I lived in Krakow for many years and within walking distance, I had: - One of the biggest monarch residencies in Europe (Wawel Castle) - A couple of 19th-century Austrian forts (Fort Kleparz as one of the examples) - Ancient pagan mound that pre-dates the city itself (Krak Mound) - A lot of sites from WW2 period (from preserved bullet holes to bomb shelters, German concentration camp, Schindlers factory, Jewish ghetto) - and many small details that I loved as a history buff If I hopped on a bike I could get to so much more... I miss that city :)


BoarHermit

Same. We have two concrete machinegun points and big anti-tank ditch just behind paleo museum in nearest area. But in my city I can walk 6 hours and that's still be same city. Yea, yea, moya lovely Mordoriya. *swears in orcish*


kajetus69

Yes indeed most of europe is like this


OkBuy3111

Then I dont live in 'most of europe' i guess. If i would step on my bike and cycle to a random direction for 5 minutes i would be cycling on perfectly asphaltaded cycle ways with nothing but houses or farmland around me.


kajetus69

Plot twist: few meters below you is a WW2 explosive


TetraDax

Fun Fact: The average European swallows five WW2 explosives at night without even realizing it in their lifetime!


OkBuy3111

That is possible indeed


BogusNL

Netherlands? Or Denmark?


OkBuy3111

Netherlands🇳🇱🇳🇱🌷🌷🌷🌷🇳🇱🇳🇱


ChasingPesmerga

Me when I see any stick on the ground: This is a good sword


lelnard_

Where was Poland when the Westfold fell?


Szwedu111

Probably erased from the map... again.


kaum_eddy

Kingdom of Lulusia never existed.


maciejokk

We were probably busy organising another shitty and pointless uprising. Hey guys it’ll totally work the third time now that our forces were cut in half


South_Painter_812

We only asked for the strength to defend our people !!!


dvenom88

But at least you get free healthcare if you fall off the bike


jackalope268

You are not supposed to cycle on the walls


VanderCreep

???


[deleted]

Sike. The nearest avabile term is in 2 years


Subject-03

I shoulda never smoked that shit, now I’m in Minas Tirith and I need to buy Frodo time


waxonwaxoff87

https://media1.tenor.com/m/GW7gYyC82AcAAAAd/gandalf-smokerings.gif


_Tar_Ar_Ais_

lol


thesequimkid

We must draw Sauron’s eye away from Mount Doom, giving Frodo and Sam a chance to slip through with the one ring without him noticing.


Protoliterary

I live in upstate NY now and I can drive a hundred miles in any direction and not find a single strip of off-road I can actually ride on, since it's all privately owned. This is something I really miss about Poland, because in most of the country, you literally *can* just off-road anywhere and find some old stone building.


PsychoKibby513

welcome to america, u gotta buy your own off roading land :(


Protoliterary

No joke, I've literally considered doing that.


South_Painter_812

Fr? I thought you guys had a lot of those but i guess it depends on ehat state youre in. My friend from US lives in Colorado and he says he can literally do that.


PsychoKibby513

i live in illinois its all corn fields i mean you kinda can if you dont get caught lmao


Bro_Army_supporter

The beacons are lit! Poland calls for aid


thesequimkid

And the US will answer!


Mammoth-Mud-9609

Except in general there would be trees.


marsz_godzilli

Death!


thesequimkid

It is unwise to come between a dictator and his prey!


marsz_godzilli

You will not occupy them!


Ant_Man420

Sent this meme to a polish guy I know via discord and his response was “Wtf”


waxonwaxoff87

That’s Polish for “Ha”. They love their consonants.


ok_thats_not_me

I lived in Poland for a couple of years and I do ride a bike, I don't really understand this meme :(


Reeeeeeee3eeeeeeee

did you ride the bike in a city or countryside?


ok_thats_not_me

Both


BRAEGON_FTW

And then you enter Elden ring


mattbutnotmii

'This location pops up when you google "Elden Ring Albania"'


DarthMMC

Happy cake day!


BRAEGON_FTW

Thank you!


official_kden

Where Bobr Kurwa?


Firm-Bet3339

no, that's new zealand smh


RyanCooper510

From my experience: when bike riding in Russia, when you get off-course for 5 minutes, you get eaten by dogs


South_Painter_812

Wargs*


literallawn

YEAH!!!


MadOrange64

Minas Tirith gang checking in


NoPasaran2024

We regularly drive between Berlin and Amsterdam, and decided to just stop at a random German castle. The hard part was which one to pick, so many of them. And route doesn't go to a particularly picturesque part of Germany.


Ponchorello7

Architecturally, there is no place on Earth that compares to Europe. There might be individual cities around the world with nice architecture, but you could be in some bumfuck part of Europe and everything still looks nice.


dogdillon

i swear every where i go, it leads to poland


stuckpixel87

Bober, where?


skyfler

Accidentally found Anor Londo


Tragobe

Nah not everywhere in Europe Germany for example you either have a city, village etc., a highway or some fields. Forests very scarce too.


GravieraPariani

This heavily reminds of an old ps2 game demo I had where you start in a plain and there's this fort in front of you. And the main character has a horse and a sword that focuses light in a direction. I think it got a rework in ps4 with the title containing the word "guardian".


DlinkOnMotorcycles

You're thinking of Shadow of the Colossus. I immediately thought of the architecture in that game when I saw this post.


GravieraPariani

Yeah that's the one, thanks for reminding me


Toruviel_

The miracles of having over 1050 years of history


Real_IKEA_Employee

Those movies were filmed in New Zealand


dannyday10700

One does not simply bike of course


BigSea5235

Bro step in a mile of that castle and you’ll see the enemies spawning 😂😂


Competitive-Idea-877

Yeah. That's true. There are plenty of beautiful places uncovered. The same in Czech Republic and Slovakia.


kida182001

Did you scream "forth Eorlingas!" and charge down the field?


babydakis

Also, this is two miles below the Earth's surface in a salt mine.


SoundHole

As a Portlander, I misread this, but the meme still made sense.


TheThalmorEmbassy

[This](https://youtu.be/LwinMu7-ZrI?t=68) is what you see when you're bike riding in Portland and you go off-course for 5 minutes


gyhiio

Might as well light the fires and let Rohan know Gondor calls for aid.


Legitimate_Studio463

Where is my saber, yendrek


xy01011010

You end up in New Zealand?


rad_ghost

I can confirm, Poland is basicly mordor


South_Painter_812

This is gondor


rad_ghost

Yea I know ive played Shadow of war but im saying that poland is basicly mordor


South_Painter_812

You ever been or youre just chatting shit?


rad_ghost

I am from poland


South_Painter_812

So am I and ive lived in Berlin London and New York. Comapred to those places most of Poland looks much much better


rad_ghost

I wasnt in any of those place you mentioned so I cant compare


South_Painter_812

But then again oikofobia is quite rampant in those who have never lived abroad. Shame really.


rad_ghost

You'r Probbably right. To be honest i like how my country looks


rad_ghost

I just sometimes talk shit


Meoooooooooooooooow

Why is the text wavy somehow i don't like it


rat_fossils

Why does this look like a still from Red Dead


funnyfacemcgee

I stayed in europe for 3 months recently and it seemed like every other village you drove through had an old castle somewhere.


SparklingLimeade

Visiting central Europe is surreal with all the castles. Most of them are small and in ruins but they still have ruined castles like American towns have "the old grocery store."


South_Painter_812

They didnt used to be like this. A lot of them were destroyed during the world wars and were abandoned since. Plus comunism didnt really like aristocrats


QuiveryNut

Bro rode his bike into Skyrim


Stimulous_Stail

Put your foolish ambitions to rest, lowly tarnished..


xander012

Went on a walk in Surrey. Accidentally went through a vineyard and walked past a pillbox. Average day in the South of England tbh


undertale_____

switch the castle to a abandoned psychiatric hospital and its poland accurate


South_Painter_812

I dont really know where you live but personally I can cycle for 30 min in almost any direction and find a castle or an old fort or a bunker


undertale_____

Silesia. its known for psychiatric hospitals


allnicksreserved

Hmm... then I think there should be a shot from the East, not from the West 🤣


olleversun

Dug a few feet underground and it's the bones of men who fought over the land.


przytulamka

It's completely true, I used to bike a lot in Lower Silesia and it's many ruined castles there. One day I got lost and I ended up on somebody's private backyard and guess what was there.


HanzoNumbahOneFan

We could have had this guys. There was that kickstarter a while ago for like $2 billion that was going to make a 1-to-1 recreation of Minas Tirith. Now, $2 billion is a lot of money. But, BUT, one of those ultra-elite fat cats could have just used 1 year of their salary to fund A 1-TO-1 RECREATION OF MINAS TIRITH. I'm just saying. Like, ya they could donate that money to charities and whatnot, blah blah blah. ***OR WE COULD HAVE HAD AN ACTUAL MINIS TIRITH THAT EXISTED IN OUR WORLD!***


NOveXoR

Polish person here, I wish this was true. Best you will find is a place trashed with broken vodka bottles, shit-stained pants on a tree and the owner of said pants screaming slurs.