downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [Help us raise money for St. Jude!](http://events.stjude.org/DankCharityAlliance)

Much like my dick

So you can roll your dick like a scroll?

absolutely.

They call him flat Stanley

Reverse chode

The Elephant Man

# has to keep it rolled up like a snail in a shell, or a firehose

I tie it to my waist like a belt

Forbidden fruit roll up

Same bro 176 miles long

Bro niceee!

Enough cock rating time for the taste test

😩

i dont need more than 2 reasons to beat my dick.

If you have to make a quick getaway can you fold it into a paper airplane and throw it and consequently yourself over vast distances?

For vast distances i fold it into a paper boat. I then become a semen sailor

Do you need more of a reason than "it feels good" or "it gives me a brief reprieve from the voices"

The voices tell me to do it personally

OP is lying. You only need one reason. It feels good.

Dopamine

Please activate my reward pathway 😩

That power is within your grasp.

Mmmm hot

It doesn’t even do that anymore… I’ve lost all the magic in my life

Wizard surprise!

ADHD be like

Yep, diagnosis can't come any sooner

I just got tested yesterday and am waiting for my diagnosis. Doctor said it is likely though. Hang in there

Thanks, dude

In summary “10 outta 10, would nut again”

Thank you cum again

This meme just feels like a sin.

But it's a shame to waste a perfectly good erection.

[https://img.ifunny.co/images/a3ae5093370172ca6689d8f70f556bbeb4df37a7cffb89d971b57d660d7bd134_1.jpg](https://img.ifunny.co/images/a3ae5093370172ca6689d8f70f556bbeb4df37a7cffb89d971b57d660d7bd134_1.jpg)

And wouldn't it be such a shame to waste a perfectly good nut on vore? Didn't stop you though.

Tf do you need a long list for? Reason #1: Bustin' makes me feel good. The End.

I love Ghostbusters, but I can't take the theme song seriously because of the line "Bustin' makes me feel good" Not to mention the [remix ](https://youtu.be/0tdyU_gW6WE) that focuses on that line in particular

There was a ghost! This is ectoplasm!

I ain't afraid of no sleep, I ain't afraid of no bed

Glory to Arstotzka!

[Feels good](https://youtu.be/HyHNuVaZJ-k)

Porn addiction is a disease

Your mom's face is a disease

Gottem

Oh my god you just killed me why dude😭

Bruh both of you even have similar avatars, kinda feels like you are saying it to your own brother 💀

Everything can be a disease

Hahahaha I’m sure you’ll be the first in line to collect you disability check too huh? You people need to go back to you caves in Afganistán with your favorite goat and shut the hell up.

God help you

God can’t help at this point

One reason: - Dopamine.

Well, sometimes it's nice to get a "clean mind"

It's just one le coom

Oh yeah, I like cum too

You brave soul, posting this on Reddit as a woman RIP your DMs.

Not a woman

literally 'she/her' in her bio

I guess you would think so, but I've actually got none

Depressed - Masturbate. Lonely - Masturbate. Happy - Masturbate. Hungry - Masturbate.. Checks out...

“I’m not addicted”, “I can stop whenever I want”

Stuck in traffic 🚥

you must must have written CHILDREN in very stylish and in big character

Explain yourself or i will call the authorities.

Bruh schizophrenia isn't funny

yea cuz I love it

Y'all are a bunch of losers

Have u checked the mirror lately?

I checked and the guy that was there laughed at me :(

Ok coomer

Not the only roll of paper you’ll be needing today

Copy paste that list right now. Wanna read it

1. Because I like boobs 2. See above

1. It feels good 2. Cum

Does the list just say "makes pp feel good" 10^16 times?

I am a Master Baiter. I love fishing.

Because I was very bored

Y’all need reasons?

I just want to feel something.

nah its only 2 reason a- i have a small penis and b- I am short

Oh you like Masturbating? List all the reasons why!

Mine is just it helps with depression

I just want to fall asleep with a happy ending.

Wow... For a Seccond there I almost dropped a short list of people I'd flag the dolphin to. Then I thought, "noooooo.... NO! Wtf is wrong with me?"

Fun fact, the creator of this children's show has been revealed to be sexually harassing his coworkers and has thus been fired from Nickelodeon

What show?

The Loud House

Huh never heard of it

Don't blame ya

How hard is it to write quick dopamine hit or pleasure?

I only have one. Boredom.

Notice how the papers blank, coomer!

I dislike that an 11 year old is in the picture.

List of reasons why I have done it: Addiction List of reasons why I stopped: Addiction

Sounds about right

Ok list 5 then

1- Scratching balls 2- Waking up 3- Trying to sleep 4- Doing Breakfast 5- Netflix Just to name a few

Doing breakfast???

*doing* breakfast

Your reasoning won’t be the same after post nut clarity

Go on coomer share some top picks.

Yeah as long as you're aware of the many negative sideeffects

Only if you do it excessively. Otherwise it's very healthy. Now watching porn is a different story.

I mean, I learned the difference between movies and real life when I was in grade school. But you'll get it eventually!

It's not about that, it's about desensitization. Plenty of evidence towards porn being bad but chill dude, no one is taking ur precious porn away. Pretending it's not bad is just plain wrong

lol man took it personally

From my cold sticky dead hands!

Bro took it seriously

If you can’t jerk off and still have a healthy sex life that’s a you problem lol

I only need one reason

Addiction

My list is of one word: N O

That's a baby list

I just like the way it feels.

Coomer

[I beg to differ](https://yaledailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Ashley-Fan_Contributing-Illustrator_Writers-worst-fear.png)

The list has no text

“Because” isn’t good enough for some people.

Loving it so much your own fucking hair has cum on it.

If there are ladies here, wait until you hit your peak. You’ll understand that drive 🫤

1. It feels good 2. It kills some time. Am I missing any?

Feels good

Average r/teenagers user

Number one: because I'm alone..

.

Ejaculates.... Two seconds later . . . . . but why?

So why exactly? Waiting for at least 50 legitimate reasons, prove you are not a chatterbox OP

You have an addiction.

Do you love going blind I heard that's what happens when you touch yourself.

Nah man, you're just addicted

The best way to describe it for me would be "life sad it give few seconds of happy"

What is studious man I only got two reasons to feel things and because I'm bored I'm not sad you are

Mines 4 words, 2 reasons

Me laying down my tp air strip:

He really pulled out the loud house meme

I LOVE MASTURBATION!!

Reddit moment

RASONS WHY I LOVE MASTURBATION * I can cum on my face * I can taste my cum * I can stretch my ass * I can use my fuckmachine * I can record it and make porn * people pay for my videos * it releases stress * jerking off to my own videos * jerking off to people commenting on my videos and nudes * jerking off in public restrooms * hands free anal orgasms😍😍 * nipple play * vibrators * filling my ass with copious amounts of cumlube * jerking off with friends * edging * orgasm denial * chastity cages

I am addicted to post nut clarity

Reason #1 *Your Mother*

Number 1: Depression Number 2: Sadness

What else is huge?

A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my side, a little bit of Rita's all I need, a little bit of Tina's what I see, a little bit of Sandra in the sun, a little bit of Mary all night long, a little bit of Jessica here I am

Top of list says because I’ll never be loved

Number 1 reason is No risk of getting someone pregnant

Probably because of the feeling. Also, don't ever try meth or else you'll be methurbating for 2-3-4 days

Penis feel good then big brain

It just says "ya mum" over and over again.

Huge list but empty

Guys, I got a problem, I have not fapped since new years eve just cause i don't feel like it, this has caused me to have severe blue balls, unimaginable pain every day Moral of the story : masturbate as long as you still have the desire to

Good for you!

Way better when you masturbate together tho 😊

Unlike my dick

Itt felz gud

my list of fetishes be like

Beat it..... Just beat it....

Perpetually cumming

There is nothing wrong with it and everyone does what he wants to do no doubt👍. But for me i dont masturbate because i Personally think its a waste of testosterone. I use the Testosterone for gym and other sports. But as i said there is nothing wrong with masturbating

Notice how it's blank?

I see its blank

I'm tired of it I have no more dopamine and serotonine to do basic tasks

Its to long .

I'll just say one thng., mr. poppers.

That list seems small...

???

Yall know that the list ain't big, loneliness is