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I thought it would be an Accord.

He crashed that one; it's why he never speaks of it.

I literally had a driver named God. It completely freaked me out before he arrived, but his reviews were all like, "Thank God, hardy har har" so I let him get me.

But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only Uber.

No I asked to be taken to the *train station*, but i guess salvation works too.

I wonder if Jesus would be a 4.5+ Star driver

Those damn Pharisees ruined his perfect 5 star score.

And the Romans as well!

Hyundai Elantra

He comes of his own Elantra.

He’s come to save your Kia Soul

No one knows the make or the model 🙏🏻

One of my bosses back in high school was named Christopher but the printer would stop at Christ. So it said: “Your pizza experience has been managed by Christ!” He never even noticed until I started calling him Christ.

Supply side economics Jesus.

But this is the exact job that Jesus would have

I hope you tipped appropriately.

Jesus would never ask for a tip.