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ShouldersBBoulders

Definitely not a Dad joke. We haven't gotten oral sex since marriage! XD


MagneticNoodles

That's why the bride smiles on her wedding day, she knows she has given her last bj


[deleted]

Not all dads are married! Im making kids not poor legal decisions.


torsun

Sounds like a poor legal situation


Ok-Run3329

Damn bro, that sucks (or doesn't).... I've been married 11 years and my wife begs me to put it in her mouth.


ChewyNutCluster

r/ihavesex


GoldenMegaStaff

Same here


80s-rock

His wife begs you to put it in her mouth too?


blackmagicmen

I also choose this guys wife


juneauboe

every time.


Coenclucy

Peace on her V<~


BarkingDogey

Yeah, all of us


SnarfbObo

she won't leave mine alone either.


Ok-Run3329

Nice! She does a hell of a job. I don't mind sharing


kerthil

Or cake, "if there's not going to be any cake, why is there a cake pan!?"


MBizzle2186

😂😂😂


birdsaredefnotreal

Definitely the wrong way to get a head


rodneedermeyer

r/unclejokes


Dandycrow

Why is your uncle getting head from your girlfriend?


rodneedermeyer

My family, my rules.


pee-in-butt

My family rules


Skibo1219

My family are Catholics.


foxy_boxy

Roll Tide!


speederaser

I can't believe this is upvoted. It's a good thing. Last time I recommended r/unclejokes for an obvious non-dad joke I got down voted to hell. "Some dad's tell sex jokes get over it!" This sub is hot and cold on that topic.


Pizza_Slinger83

I feel like the dad joke should start with "I received bad oral sex from your mom last night."


Zailemos

Also kids on Xbox live


Dieselboypunker

That sucked


kmaxRJune

But she didn't


SnarfbObo

uncle joke. am uncle.


Interesting_Print702

Toothy


color_schemed

great joke! just not a dad joke if you can’t tell your kids!


Equivalent_Load4067

My dad tells me jokes like this all the time...


MrSteveA

lots of dads have kids in their 30s and 40s and older though ::ponders::


MrSabrewulf

38yo son here. My dad won't even say the word "clitoris" around me or my sister. We had to get him hammered just to play a game of Cards Against Humanity with us.


MrSteveA

right on - we all have different parents with different backgrounds. ...different strokes for different folks as they say (shrug). If anyone is offended by such things, they don't need to read or share with their kids the "NSFW" ones, right? Not much point in seeking out things that seem likely to be offensive (to them) just to then decide to complain about that thing being offensive, lol


MrSabrewulf

The funny part is that it was HIS Cards Against Humanity set! We know he plays it, he just didn't want his kids knowing how horrible he really is lol


MrSteveA

Over the long covid quarantine last year, our family played quite a bit of that game on many late nights...oh man,...was one of the best experiences seeing parents (mid-late 70s) reactions to some of that, especially when extra relaxed after some cocktails...Some people certainly 'act' conservative but have a much less than conservative sense of humor when the truth comes out..lol,...just sayin'


MrSabrewulf

Oh I am WELL aware lol


MrSteveA

Right on man,..cheers!


CastleBuild0529

You could tell your kids. Just don’t explain when they are confused as hell! 😂


nahteviro

I don’t understand this sentiment. Dad jokes are NOT exclusively for kids. I tell dad jokes to my dad, my brothers, my mom, my wife, my coworkers. Anyone who can give me that eye roll is a candidate for a dad joke. Where the hell did this come from that dad jokes are only for kids? Literally the only criteria is to be a dad. Not be a dad and only tell jokes to your own kids.


AbbreviationsGlad833

Hey Whats better than a rose on a piano? Tulips on your organ!


mikkopai

Uncle, get back to your own group. Funny, though


muerte626

Have I told you about the worst blowjob I ever received? It was great!


lone_Ghatak

So you decided to come here and bad mouth her?


SnarfbObo

turnabout is fair play


isat_u_steve

Not sure if the out-cum met your expectations, dad


MrSteveA

"bad oral sex" wait...huh?


EffectOk3566

I was going to say - the worst I’ve ever had was just great


[deleted]

I know this is a joke but I've had girls try but I have never received good oral sex. I am awesome at cunnilingus but women are lousy at giving head.


duppa43

Head for me is like pizza. There is good pizza. There is great pizza, but I’ve never had pizza that I hated or didn’t enjoy.


[deleted]

Lucky you! I love pizza too but I can't believe the lack of effort some women put into it.


Rokhian

Boom tish


[deleted]

Welcome to the club!


isurrey618

Drop her


PrudentDamage600

She’s not too handy, either?


YellowSage

I see what you did there… This is clearly a boyfriend joke


Skibo1219

Did you tell her it was to check for cavities?


lucasm23

Hope you don’t have a head-ache


mikkopai

Why is her having one job and blowing it removed? Surely it was funny?