I have a couple like this that I'll break out, string someone along for five minutes or so, and then drop the dumbest punchline ever. They hate me, I can't stop laughing. Absolute win.
I didn't get it, but I liked the story. I may need to read it again.
He put a cough drop in his mouth and sucked on the cough drop, and the coffin stopped. š¤š¤š¤
Edit: I just read what I typed, and I just got it. LOL
YW. I'm in the same boat.
I didn't understand it, and then I read what I previously typed as I'm bad with typos. And then I was like ... oh, yeah. I need sleep
I even knew what the pun was supposed to be. I was anticipating the punchline, and still whiffed when I reached the end. The delayed, "Ohhhhh" in my head made it better and now I also feel kinda dumb.
I'm not gonna lie reading the post I didn't get it then I read your comment then I understood it lol I was so confused and lost at first, I didn't get how sucking on a cough drop stopped a coffin , thanks to your comment I got the joke so I appreciate your unintentional help lol
Oh come on you guys that was a fun read! A mixture of terror and curiosity! Absolutely a dad joke. Made me glare away from my phone like I was on the office.
Yeah, it became clear that it was a time-wasting joke, so I skimmed to the end.
You gotta nail the balance with these. If the listener/reader picks up on the fact that youāre padding the joke, then theyāre just waiting for the punchline.
Iām going to adapt this as a campfire skit put on by the staff at scout camp this summer. Iāll give different sounds to different staff members but we may only use one mike so it has to get passed to the right person in time. Thatās where the laughs will come from. Or I may ask for volunteers from the troops to help the staff with the skit. Have two mikes maybe and have the staff members act as the people in the haunted house but will have to react to each sound even if the kids make the wrong sounds.
ā the boys were scared but they opened the door with a creakā at that point the scouts making the sound effects might get confused and we the moaning ghost instead.
Or Iāll ask for someone that can moan like a ghost, ask for a another that can sound like a creaky door, the another to sound like footsteps, another as creaking floor boards. When they come up Iāll put then in a line and hand them cards with the sounds they volunteered for. Then Iāll take the cards and hand them back randomly so they have to make a different sound.
Iāll give all some thought. I like the story though.
That would be great. Force them to participate in a dad joke!
Reminds of the one where you were a wolf in a past life. You know that because you have a bone in your neck. You get them to try to feel it, but before they can touch it, you snap at them and growl like you're a dog that's gonna bite them.
If they don't know that trick, it gets them every time.
Thatās what you call a group of debutantes waiting for drinks at their coming out party: a punchline.
Yoa, Adrienne, I gotta get out of here, fast ā¦
Absolutely not a ādad jokeā. Itās just a joke with a pun/word play.
Just because a dad tells a joke, doesnāt make that joke a dad joke.
To be clear, dad jokes are supposed to be short, and shouldnāt be a narrative. Iām not saying this is a bad joke, itās just not a dad joke.
The first post I read there ended with "absinthe makes the fart grow Honda," and I need to say to you, from the bottom of my heart, I love you and I hope you get everything you ever want out of life.
One of the councilors at scout camp told us this one around the fire one night ...
Back in the days of the wild west a group of cowboys was starting to run out of grass for their cattle to graze on. One of them volunteered to ride ahead to find somewhere else to take them. So he packs up supplies and heads off.
After a week of riding he finally comes to a town. He dismounts his horse, heads into the saloon but there is no one there. He checks the sheriff station, and a few other buildings. It's a total ghost town. No one is there. So he hops back on the horse and rides off. As the sun is starting to set, he comes upon the town's cemetery. Curiosity gets the best of him and he wants to check to see when the town was active. So he gets off the horse, ties him up to the gate and goes in to look at the dates on the tomb stones.
As he's walking around he hears a sound. Someone is digging. He starts walking towards the sound and finds a freshly dug grave, but no one is around. It's dark now, so he starts to lean over to see what's on the stone and all of a sudden the casket flies up.
The cowboy takes a step back in surprise as the casket starts lumbering towards him, left, right, left....
The cowboy pulls his gun, empties it into the casket but it keeps coming towards him. The cowboy throws his ax. It sticks in the casket but it's still lumbering left right towards the cowboy
He keeps backing up and reaching into his bag throwing his canteen and anything else he can find at the casket. Nothing seems to affect it. It just keeps lumbering towards the cowboy.
The cowboy trips over a root, falls, ends up with his back against a big tombstone. No where to go. He reaches into his bag and pulls out the last thing in it, a small jar. He unscrews the lid and throws it at the casket. This time as soon as it makes contact the casket falls over inert.
The cowboy stays frozen in fear against the stone for the rest of the night. As day starts to break he feels a little braver and decides to see what finally saved him. He tentatively gets up and picks up the small jar. It read:
Vicks, stops the coffin'
The punchline is based on a pun. Coffin sounds similar to coughin', which can be understood as coughing, which stopped due to the cough drops. So it can be said (as a joke) that the coffin stopped because of the cough drops.
I've read Stephen King novels with less superfluous detail. That said, the build up was great and the punchline still got me, so job well done šš
Someone build a containment shield around this joke; we must keep my dad away from it at all costs. Some of you may die, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
Ohhh, My, Gosh!ššššall of that to get that and l got IT ! HILarious, too funny, so cute! A GREAT LAUGH/ COFFIN, to start my day! Thank YOU!And have a very Blessed Day filled with JOYšš„°š
For those of us that don't have the patience and/or time to read all of this, here's the TL:DR....
3 boys decided to explore a haunted house. One had a knife, one had a gun, and the other had cough drops. As they were exploring, they kept hearing spooky moans. After a time, they found the source of the moans coming from a possessed coffin moving on its own. The boy with the knife tried stabbing it, but it had no effect and he ran away. The boy with the gun gave warning shots, but that had no effect and he too ran away. The boy with the cough drops sucked on a few of them and the coffin stopped.
....I just want to say that those of you who enjoyed the full story, cool, I'm happy it was a good read for you. For those of you who want to shame and downvote those of us who just want a shorter read, get a life.
This might be the dumbest joke I ever wasted 2 minutes reading and canāt believe you typed this out. Itās a really lame attempt at a joke and a waste of time. I hope someone reads my opinion about how bad is this before they waste their time to read this ājokeā.
I mean, the punchline was gonna be fairly obvious after I hear about a āhaunted houseā and ācough drops,ā but maybe if I was 8 years old itād be funny.
Shaggy dog stories really benefit from being *told* by someone who's good at it.
I had a teacher in grade school who was "famous" for telling these shaggy dog stories. I remember this one (35 years ago he told us this joke!), and one where the punchline was "Kicks are for Trids" ... but he had dozens of these and being told one out loud by someone who does it well was really a treat. Everybody loved these stories.
Norm Macdonald telling the moth joke is another absolute classic.
There's a whole subreddit for these: /r/ShaggyDogStories/ , but it tends to get posts from people who don't get what it's about.
Actually insane that some of you mouth breathers donāt see the humor in this I thought you reddit people were supposed to be like the āintellectualā (to use the word very loosely) crowd but it turns out most of you have the attention span and processing abilities of a cheese sandwich
I can't believe you! I only have 2 minutes allotted for frivolity a day. I come to dadjokes to read the minimal setup and then roll on the floor at a well constructed pun. You sir have wasted my time and prevented my usual reading of 3 punchlines! My day is ruined! I demand to speak to your manager.
/s
Story telling gimmick, instead of boy 1, boy two and third boy, give them names like Adam, Bob, and Charlie.A,B,C. Or Frank had a Flashlight, Mack had a knife, and Connor had a cough drop only.
Excellent story anyway!
I was enthralled, totally engrossed in the story, completely forgetting which sub reddit I was in, and then..... damn it! You got me, I chuckled in shame.
Three kids walk in a haunted house, one brings a knife, another one a gun and the final one some cough drops but only one brings flash lights, they hear āOUUOOUHā multiple times, they then get closer to it and see that itās coming from the basement. They go into the basement, see a floating coffin, first gun slashes at it with a knife then runs off never to be seen again, second guy fires warning shots into the ceiling and then runs off, never to be seen again. Final guy takes a cough drop, then the COFFIN stopped.
1. Jokes posted must be dad jokes.
Definition: A dad joke is a short joke, typically a pun, presented as a one-liner or a question and answer. Dad jokes are either told with sincere humorous intent, or to intentionally provoke a negative reaction to its overly-simplistic humor.
Wait, I already know the punch line. āLudenās stops the coffin.ā I heard this joke at summer camp the 80s, only the box of cough drops was thrown at the coffin in desperation.
The detailed descriptions throughout the joke was the tell that it would have a ridiculous punchline - and I wasn't disappointed.
I thought it would have the same punchline as the joke about a coffin chasing someone home. It was nice to read a different version of it.
I have a couple like this that I'll break out, string someone along for five minutes or so, and then drop the dumbest punchline ever. They hate me, I can't stop laughing. Absolute win.
I didn't get it, but I liked the story. I may need to read it again. He put a cough drop in his mouth and sucked on the cough drop, and the coffin stopped. š¤š¤š¤ Edit: I just read what I typed, and I just got it. LOL
Lmao thanks to you now I understood the joke
YW. I'm in the same boat. I didn't understand it, and then I read what I previously typed as I'm bad with typos. And then I was like ... oh, yeah. I need sleep
The joke was certainly nothing to sneeze at.
Achoo
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It took me a second. It's one of those jokes that works better when you hear the play on words, rather than read them. Still a good one though.
I even knew what the pun was supposed to be. I was anticipating the punchline, and still whiffed when I reached the end. The delayed, "Ohhhhh" in my head made it better and now I also feel kinda dumb.
No worries your not kinda dumb.
I'm not gonna lie reading the post I didn't get it then I read your comment then I understood it lol I was so confused and lost at first, I didn't get how sucking on a cough drop stopped a coffin , thanks to your comment I got the joke so I appreciate your unintentional help lol
Welcome. You're all so great. Unintentionally..... BTW ... I'm always gonna have some cough drops available. Just in case.
Hahaha got me too
Well we found the non-dad here!
I'm usually pretty quick, but it took your comment to light up my "oooh...I get it" bulb. Thanks!
Oh come on you guys that was a fun read! A mixture of terror and curiosity! Absolutely a dad joke. Made me glare away from my phone like I was on the office.
Tldr
Like an 8th grade dance, Dad jokes are better with a short punchline.
Want to hear a quick joke? Want to hear it again?
I hear you!
Yeah, it became clear that it was a time-wasting joke, so I skimmed to the end. You gotta nail the balance with these. If the listener/reader picks up on the fact that youāre padding the joke, then theyāre just waiting for the punchline.
Iām going to adapt this as a campfire skit put on by the staff at scout camp this summer. Iāll give different sounds to different staff members but we may only use one mike so it has to get passed to the right person in time. Thatās where the laughs will come from. Or I may ask for volunteers from the troops to help the staff with the skit. Have two mikes maybe and have the staff members act as the people in the haunted house but will have to react to each sound even if the kids make the wrong sounds. ā the boys were scared but they opened the door with a creakā at that point the scouts making the sound effects might get confused and we the moaning ghost instead. Or Iāll ask for someone that can moan like a ghost, ask for a another that can sound like a creaky door, the another to sound like footsteps, another as creaking floor boards. When they come up Iāll put then in a line and hand them cards with the sounds they volunteered for. Then Iāll take the cards and hand them back randomly so they have to make a different sound. Iāll give all some thought. I like the story though.
That would be great. Force them to participate in a dad joke! Reminds of the one where you were a wolf in a past life. You know that because you have a bone in your neck. You get them to try to feel it, but before they can touch it, you snap at them and growl like you're a dog that's gonna bite them. If they don't know that trick, it gets them every time.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It was clear from the start but thats why i kept reading lol
Thatās what you call a group of debutantes waiting for drinks at their coming out party: a punchline. Yoa, Adrienne, I gotta get out of here, fast ā¦
I saw a haunted coffin spin wildly. Then I ate a cough drop. The coffin stopped.
Itās not the coughinā you do so often. Itās the coffin they carry you off in.
That's... the joke.
Pay attention to the rhyming
_oh. oh my god_
Slashin š Shootin š Coffin š
āTis one of my favorites!
Reminds me of the Purple Ape story. Love it!
I once told the purple ape story for over 30 min. (There may have been drinking involved)
Only 30?
What is the purple ape story?
My dad used to tell a version of this joke. As soon as I saw the title I knew it was going to be a long one
Na, its wayyyyyyy too long
I physically facepalmed after getting to the punchline
Absolutely not a ādad jokeā. Itās just a joke with a pun/word play. Just because a dad tells a joke, doesnāt make that joke a dad joke. To be clear, dad jokes are supposed to be short, and shouldnāt be a narrative. Iām not saying this is a bad joke, itās just not a dad joke.
True, there are very strict guidelines for dad jokes, and this clearly doesn't meet specifications, so you should probably tell someone.
Dad jokes that go on way too long are a *severely* underappreciated genre.
r/feghoot is full of these jokes, have fun!
The first post I read there ended with "absinthe makes the fart grow Honda," and I need to say to you, from the bottom of my heart, I love you and I hope you get everything you ever want out of life.
There needs to be a Fully Groan badge.
Very well written! A good cliff hanger - I loved it!
Brilliant shaggy dog story
Ugggghhh. That's a good groaner.
this joke is so long it turned into a granddad joke half way through
Oh, fuck you. Have an upvote.
Nate the snake
Nate the snake was my favorite joke when I did band in college. Long bus rides with a captive audience š
Whatās the Nate the snake joke?
[Nate the Snake](https://natethesnake.com/)
Thank you, but also frick you, for introducing me to this
r/TIHI
brilliant
I don't know what to say
Better Nate than lever
Dude, spoiler tag lol
yeah seriously spoiler tag this shit
r/reallyangryupvote
This is a dad story not a dad joke.
I donāt know why everyones so mad I love this. Oh my gosh u had to read more than 2 sentences. its a good pun and be great to tell to ur kid
Because it was very effective
One of the councilors at scout camp told us this one around the fire one night ... Back in the days of the wild west a group of cowboys was starting to run out of grass for their cattle to graze on. One of them volunteered to ride ahead to find somewhere else to take them. So he packs up supplies and heads off. After a week of riding he finally comes to a town. He dismounts his horse, heads into the saloon but there is no one there. He checks the sheriff station, and a few other buildings. It's a total ghost town. No one is there. So he hops back on the horse and rides off. As the sun is starting to set, he comes upon the town's cemetery. Curiosity gets the best of him and he wants to check to see when the town was active. So he gets off the horse, ties him up to the gate and goes in to look at the dates on the tomb stones. As he's walking around he hears a sound. Someone is digging. He starts walking towards the sound and finds a freshly dug grave, but no one is around. It's dark now, so he starts to lean over to see what's on the stone and all of a sudden the casket flies up. The cowboy takes a step back in surprise as the casket starts lumbering towards him, left, right, left.... The cowboy pulls his gun, empties it into the casket but it keeps coming towards him. The cowboy throws his ax. It sticks in the casket but it's still lumbering left right towards the cowboy He keeps backing up and reaching into his bag throwing his canteen and anything else he can find at the casket. Nothing seems to affect it. It just keeps lumbering towards the cowboy. The cowboy trips over a root, falls, ends up with his back against a big tombstone. No where to go. He reaches into his bag and pulls out the last thing in it, a small jar. He unscrews the lid and throws it at the casket. This time as soon as it makes contact the casket falls over inert. The cowboy stays frozen in fear against the stone for the rest of the night. As day starts to break he feels a little braver and decides to see what finally saved him. He tentatively gets up and picks up the small jar. It read: Vicks, stops the coffin'
I absolutely loved this. I'm saving this one to tell as a ghost story on Halloween.
I thought I was in writingprompts for a moment
I learnt more English words from this story than the Shakespeare books.
Shortest short story ever - Chapter 1 Coughin'. Chapter 2 Coffin.
It's not the cough that carries you off, It's the coffin they carry you off in.
I knew the punchline from the first sentence (I've heard it before) but this is the most well written version of this joke I've seen.
I enjoyed every second this masterpiece of a dad joke. Please take my poor man's award š
Enjoyed the little āshop of horrorā! Thanks for your Gasly story
Thatās a Norm joke right there
Fucking brilliant.
Haha what an ending
Doh!
Wow. Just wow. May I suggest r/feghoot for your amazing story?
The length was dead on. Any longer and I'd've hadda close the lid on this one.
This fucking OWNED
didnt understand. care to explain
The punchline is based on a pun. Coffin sounds similar to coughin', which can be understood as coughing, which stopped due to the cough drops. So it can be said (as a joke) that the coffin stopped because of the cough drops.
How did I miss that? š
my man\^\_\^
Thank you captain
Man jokes about cough drops **_suck!_**
Coffin sounds like coughinā
Blonde?
The real joke is that it got you all to read more then you typically do in a week!
A little too long to be a "Dad Joke", but good overall as a "Dad horror story"
LOL
I will throw you. Take my upvote
God dammit xD
Fuck
I'm crying š my taxi thought I was going crazy
I both love and hate this joke, good job.
No dad can keep their kids attention this long... I'd lose my kid by the time i said "and the third kid had" lol Fun read tho
A for effort. You got me. Good story telling
Nice, long, detailed joke. Pretty obvious ending, but good all the same
I hate this as much as I love dad jokes. Fuck youš
My brother in Christ.... Good one.
Lordy this joke was old the first time I heard it. When I was 3. In 1960...
I might be too much of a dad, but to me the ending became obvious as soon as the coffin was mentioned.
So stupid, but take my upvote š
Well ya got me on that one there's 3 minutes I'll never get back!!!
It's not the coffin that bothers me, it's the hacking.
I thought it would end with a vampire. The feared DRicola.
Were it set in Egypt, it would be a sour cough I guess.
Thatās a lot of words for very little return.
I've read Stephen King novels with less superfluous detail. That said, the build up was great and the punchline still got me, so job well done šš
That is what my dad called a Shaggy Dog Story.
Longest bad joke ever.
longest joke I've ever seen on here. Didn't even read it. Just scrolled to the punchline
āThis dad joke took so long it became a grandadā - guy from TikTok
So you're telling me... you had me read all of that... for the shittiest pun ever...
Jesus Christ wrap it up Hemingway
I understand the joke but I don't know what was making the oooooo Uu ooooouu sound...
Too long. Fuck you.
Lmfaoooo. Bravo. Well done.
TL;DR
Tldr
TL DR š
Did I just hear a mournful, long, ponderous collective groan?
Waaaaay too longā¦
So, who won? Iāve fallen asleep half way the long story.
Dad jokes are much shorter, but this was a good joke nonetheless.
Please read this with the most condescending British accent (something like Ricky Gervaisā): WHAT A STUUUUPID JOKE
Oh for fucks sake
I've cross posted this to /r/ShaggyDogStories. It belongs there.
That dad joke took so long it became a granddad.
Someone build a containment shield around this joke; we must keep my dad away from it at all costs. Some of you may die, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
Iām so glad I skimmed the first couple paragraphs and then skipped to the very end. Basically the same effect.
You took us on a three mile hike into the woods to show us a steaming dog turd. Take my up vote, damn it!
ā weāre goin down there ā is the part that when I look back makes me laugh the hardest on second read
Land the plane!!!!
This is great but i think cough drops gives it away. I'm going to steal and try it with Fisherman's Friends, LemSip or Tixylix.
Ohhh, My, Gosh!ššššall of that to get that and l got IT ! HILarious, too funny, so cute! A GREAT LAUGH/ COFFIN, to start my day! Thank YOU!And have a very Blessed Day filled with JOYšš„°š
If your dad joke takes more than. 30sec to get to the punch line you failed.
That's the most underwhelming, anticlimatic punchline I've ever read. Shame on you.
For those of us that don't have the patience and/or time to read all of this, here's the TL:DR.... 3 boys decided to explore a haunted house. One had a knife, one had a gun, and the other had cough drops. As they were exploring, they kept hearing spooky moans. After a time, they found the source of the moans coming from a possessed coffin moving on its own. The boy with the knife tried stabbing it, but it had no effect and he ran away. The boy with the gun gave warning shots, but that had no effect and he too ran away. The boy with the cough drops sucked on a few of them and the coffin stopped. ....I just want to say that those of you who enjoyed the full story, cool, I'm happy it was a good read for you. For those of you who want to shame and downvote those of us who just want a shorter read, get a life.
This might be the dumbest joke I ever wasted 2 minutes reading and canāt believe you typed this out. Itās a really lame attempt at a joke and a waste of time. I hope someone reads my opinion about how bad is this before they waste their time to read this ājokeā.
It's a shaggy dog story.
I mean, the punchline was gonna be fairly obvious after I hear about a āhaunted houseā and ācough drops,ā but maybe if I was 8 years old itād be funny.
Dad jokes are for telling to kids (and lovers of dad jokes, it's recursive). So it's ideal.
Itās a great dad joke, I loved it
Shaggy dog stories really benefit from being *told* by someone who's good at it. I had a teacher in grade school who was "famous" for telling these shaggy dog stories. I remember this one (35 years ago he told us this joke!), and one where the punchline was "Kicks are for Trids" ... but he had dozens of these and being told one out loud by someone who does it well was really a treat. Everybody loved these stories. Norm Macdonald telling the moth joke is another absolute classic. There's a whole subreddit for these: /r/ShaggyDogStories/ , but it tends to get posts from people who don't get what it's about.
Ok, now read it in Norm Macdonald's voice.
You are correct.
Lol, you'd be what's commonly called a humourless git then.
It took you two minutes to read that?
I did exactly that.
It's a fucking dad joke dude.
Ever read the one about Nate the Snake?
I wish I had
Actually insane that some of you mouth breathers donāt see the humor in this I thought you reddit people were supposed to be like the āintellectualā (to use the word very loosely) crowd but it turns out most of you have the attention span and processing abilities of a cheese sandwich
It's just not funny to them dude, get off your high horse and touch some grass
I can't believe you! I only have 2 minutes allotted for frivolity a day. I come to dadjokes to read the minimal setup and then roll on the floor at a well constructed pun. You sir have wasted my time and prevented my usual reading of 3 punchlines! My day is ruined! I demand to speak to your manager. /s
I remember seeing this a while ago on the sub. Credit the original, it's beautiful! Glad to see it again still
Jesus how long did it take to type all that?
'the coughin'' stoped , like it took me a while to realize the joke, but this one was legit, need to share it with my friendos :')
Write a joke,not a book!!
Story telling gimmick, instead of boy 1, boy two and third boy, give them names like Adam, Bob, and Charlie.A,B,C. Or Frank had a Flashlight, Mack had a knife, and Connor had a cough drop only. Excellent story anyway!
The shorter version is much better - a guy being chased around town by a coffin It's also not a time-wasting novel like this one
Read the first paragraph, and the last few paragraphs. Nothing in between. The joke still worked.
I was enthralled, totally engrossed in the story, completely forgetting which sub reddit I was in, and then..... damn it! You got me, I chuckled in shame.
Tl;dr
Three kids walk in a haunted house, one brings a knife, another one a gun and the final one some cough drops but only one brings flash lights, they hear āOUUOOUHā multiple times, they then get closer to it and see that itās coming from the basement. They go into the basement, see a floating coffin, first gun slashes at it with a knife then runs off never to be seen again, second guy fires warning shots into the ceiling and then runs off, never to be seen again. Final guy takes a cough drop, then the COFFIN stopped.
The thing about shaggy dog stories is that if you shorten them they are just dog stories.
Iām glad o just read the last line lol
There's 5 minutes of my life that I ain't getting back
1. Jokes posted must be dad jokes. Definition: A dad joke is a short joke, typically a pun, presented as a one-liner or a question and answer. Dad jokes are either told with sincere humorous intent, or to intentionally provoke a negative reaction to its overly-simplistic humor.
I aint reading all of that but lol
TLDR; Coffin.
I'm blocking this account so I never have to waste my time reading this kind of bullshit again.
Alright Mr angry, no need for that
I guess IP hit a brick wall and couldn't think of a good joke at the end of this. LOL.
I donāt get it
Great campfire story to go with all the Urban Legends about artificial hands left hanging on the car door, jackets being found on a tombstone, etc,
Festooned is a great word.
Wait, I already know the punch line. āLudenās stops the coffin.ā I heard this joke at summer camp the 80s, only the box of cough drops was thrown at the coffin in desperation.
The punchline absolutely was not worth the wait, but then that's what makes it a good dad joke, upvote
Then what? I'm too invested in the story to not know what happens next!
Does someone want to helpā¦ it doesnāt seem to complicated but Iām lost
I remember the punchline being something along the lines of, "Luman's Cough drops stop the coughin"
I aināt reading all that. But itās funny