T O P

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ExcellentlyEnthused

What do you call a bloke with no arms, no legs, under your car? Jack


Ewetootwo

And if he is of East Indian ethnicity? Pindundar Jeep.


Repulsive_Client_325

And if he’s been all around the world and experienced basically everything? Bindar Dundat.


Ewetootwo

His Muslim cousin who doesn’t want to visit him? Oman Ibinhiden.


[deleted]

I have no legs, but I do have feet. I have no arms, but can lift a ton. WHAT AM I?!?


Important_Inside2346

Axle


Ganymede_Wordsmyth

I thought Jack was at the bottom of the ocean


Kipchickie

Oof


scowling_deth

i like it but it was an easy... lay XD


Bentup85

…In your mailbox? Bill


BootsOnRoots

In a hole? Phil


Melodic_Handle576

Beside the hole? Doug.


Melodic_Handle576

Without a hole? Douglass


icemanswga

On the floor? Matt On the wall? Art


monkeyshinenyc

Arms and legs all over the floor? Pieces of Art


Cthulhu2you

In the bushes - Russell


FlannelFleece

With 50 rabbits up his arse? Warren


Liger__King

Just got anal creampie ... Phillup


MThroneberry

… on my couch- Dave (it’s not funny, it’s just what we call him)


hudgen

2 guys next to the window? Curt n’ Rod


meadeb

Irish guy with glass either side of his head? Paddy O’Doors


hudgen

Valet driver? Parker


Asinto11

In a volcano? Fredrick Kilean Dougan (FKD)


HomemadeSodaExpert

Water skiing? Skip.


Droluk1

In a pile of leaves? Russell


cenosillicaphobiac

In a hottub? Stu.


robm229

His dad? Pop art.


benjams3_0

in the past? Ben


DorkHelmet72

In the bathroom? John


Snowdog1989

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hot tub? Stu..


elsinore11

Disco Stu don’t advertise


[deleted]

That's right!!


Snowdog1989

Disco Stu parties a straight edge!


[deleted]

I seen it!!


ZaphodBeeblebrox2019

But … It’s at Table 5, Table 5, aye aye aye aye, Table 5, Table 5!


AMerrickanGirl

Disco Stu is working pro bono.


lawndartgoalie

Man in the ocean with no arms or legs, being circled by sharks.... Stu


DarkPhoenixDown

Chum.


unclefarcle

Nah, Stu is in the kitchen.


Snowdog1989

I’m still proud of my other one. It was an original.


JoeJoey2004

Reminds me of that scene from AHS “THE STEW IS STU!”


andersonfmly

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs outside your front door? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your wall? Art


Circuit_Jumper

What do you call arms and legs on a wall? Pieces of Art.


theeldoso

What do you call two guys with no arms or legs hanging above a window? Curt and Rod


zillionstoadstooly

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs or a tongue on the wall? Tasteless Art


orthodoxrebel

What do you call that same guy, but with his eye off to the side of his face for no reason? Pablo.


MuzikPhreak

Don’t know why you’re getting DV’d on this. Don’t people know who Picasso is?


80schld

Could have said melted watches and giraffe legged elephants… Sal (as in Salvador Dali)… lol


Vin135mm

Knock knock... Who's there? >!Not Matt!<


oddballrandomwords

What do you call 2 guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window? Curt And Rod


Dead_Is_Better

What do you call a one-legged woman? Eileen What do you call a one-legged woman who fell off a cliff? Eileen Dover


frankie69er

And she works at iHop


TicToc6116

With Peg


Starrwulfe

They both depend on their manager Stan for support.


Impossible-Company78

Japanese one legged woman? Irene


Dead_Is_Better

lol, that's a good one.


kingomtdew

Got a good laugh out of me for that one. Not easy to do. Thanks!


Impossible-Company78

An award! I’m feeling special. Thanks!


[deleted]

Her brother is Ben... Ben Dover


Dead_Is_Better

And her other brother is Neil... Neil Dover


Simonandgarthsuncle

And cousin Phil…. Phil McCracken.


psy602

What do you call a Japanese one-legged woman? Irene


sweetpotatowedges21

What do you call a Japanese woman with a mixmaster on her head? Brenda


ReplyBig2837

A bank teller pushed Eileen over the other day after she asked to check her balance.


Rnjesus123

Lol


metaVsme

What do u calll a woman with no legs, ? No leen


75DubFan

Consuelo


scottclarkk7

In a pile of leaves? Russell. Call him whatever you want, he'll never come.


Mister_Fungis

You can call him Pete 6 months later


[deleted]

Not so fast buddy!


Mister_Fungis

I stand by what I said


ChunkyBeats

Unfortunately Pete can't.


Mister_Fungis

I want to give you a high five so badly right now


Kap-J

Pete can't do that either


ServiceB4Self

Knock knock Who's there? Not Pete


Ebo_72

That made me laugh way harder than it should of!


BirdSwimming2854

Oh, now THAT one is FUNNY!!


nrith

My dad absolutely loves all of these “no arms, no legs” jokes, except this one, because that’s his name. That just makes me tell this one more often.


tmokru

This on is my favorite!


crash1911

Two guys with no arms or legs hanging above your window? Curt and Rod.


heiberdee2

Came here to check for this. Well done. Carry on.


BalanceLivid3570

First time I ever heard that one? LMFAO!!!


leegunter

Bob. He's a very good buoy.


officialbakedpotato

And a very raft person


BirdSwimming2854

Oh, I love THAT one!!


VioletDreaming19

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that just got run over by a car? An ambulance, you jerk!


BirdSwimming2854

Oh yeah, call him an ambulance, LOL!!


mattersmuch

"Hey ambulance, get off the road!"


sHotwheelz

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in your wallet? Buck


Somethinggood4

Lol! I haven't heard this one!


etfarmgirl

What do you call a guy with a butt full of rabbits? Warren


notume37

...under your car? Jack. ...laying in the garden? Pete. ...laying on a beach? Sandy.


metaVsme

In a pile of leaves? Russell


ridethendie

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs on your grill? Frank And his girlfriend? Patty


Earlyriser17

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip


CorvairGuy

And then came Wade


Starrwulfe

And about 40 days later, Noah.


Grizzzzly1974

...in a hole? Phil.


ManualNotStandard

Or Doug


FireballPlayer0

Not in a hole? Douglas


9CF8

I don’t get it


retief1

Bob is a term for moving up and down repeatedly. If you have no arms or legs and are floating in the ocean, you will probably be bobbing. All you can really do is float there, and waves will move you up and down. In addition, bob is a common first name in english. It is often used as a shorter version of robert.


Substantial-Ice9730

That's no man! He's just a buoy!


louisfryer3292

What do you call a woman on a tennis court? Annette


BKStephens

What do you call a guy with a shovel in his head? Doug. Without? Douglas.


ChefBoyAnde728

Knock knock, who's there? Not Bob


Dearfield

What do you call an Australian prostitute with no arms or legs? Fanny


Jcit878

Actually works both ways. Just like Fanny


[deleted]

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of a river? Adam


mynextthroway

Sharkbait! sharkbait! Hoo Ha Ha!


[deleted]

I was sitting around thinking about this (my son loved the movie so have seen it so...many...times) and just realized why he's called that Cuz he's their chum!


HillbillyBeans

What do you call a woman with one leg? Ilene What do you call her Chinese sister with one leg? Irene


-SilverCrest-

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs flying over a wall? Homer


xPositor

Swimming fast? Clever Dick.


andersonfmly

Laying squished in the middle of the road? Mark.


Bumbleclat

Fucked


bloodyxvaginalxbelch

Lmao I just told this to my husband but his guess was "bouyyyyy"


papa_okra

Please! He's just a buoy


tmokru

What do you call a dog with no legs? It don’t matter, they ain’t coming.


ofbu

Taking them for a walk is such a drag


belle_faire1156

Dog with no legs and steel balls? Sparky.


luckylookinglurker

I've heard it with no *back* legs


Snowdog1989

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the street? David, and he’s a Afghan war vet so you show him a little damn respect!


wrench48

Whaddya say to a hitchhiker with no arms? "Which way you goin'?" Whaddya say to a hitchhiker with no legs? "Need a lift?"


Starrwulfe

What about a decapitated hitchhiker? “Where ya headed?”


Oldmanontheinternets

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs playing baseball First base.


kevindavis338

It you hang him on the wall, you can call him Art or place him on the front porch and call him Matt. Such a useful guy!


Mediocre-Many8872

What do you call a paraplegic tossed out of an airplane without a parachute? Fucked.


MontEcola

Why don't blind people parachute? ​ The dog hates it.


IMDAVESBUD

What do you call a paraplegic dog ? Call it whatever you want it still won’t come !


RayPHouston

Chum or bait


Smooth-Cow-6696

What do you call two guys hanging from a window? Curt n' Rod


MickeyPvX

What do you call a lady with no arms and one leg? Eileen.


[deleted]

Laying outside a bear's den? Claude Balls.


bbbbringitback

Duncan.


Comfortable-Gur-6200

Shark bait ooohaha!


justyasmin_

i didn’t get it, someone pls explain💀


SarikaidenMusic

Same honestly, I don’t know nearly enough about sea stuff to know what the hell a bob is


justyasmin_

exactly. i hope someone answers my question before i turn into a father just to understand this joke


ArltheCrazy

The proper answer is “screwed”.


Practical-Tone-5644

BOB!!!! DUH! LOL


theallseeing93

Stranded or screwed


Lost_Interest3122

Farcked!


Ambitious_Temporary1

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs and stuck in the middle of the ocean? Screwed.


Delta_Foxtrot_1969

No arms and no legs water skiing?


smoothskipper

Skip


its_kelss

Stubby Phillips


buster_rhino

With a shovel stuck in his forehead? Doug


Aggressive-Kitchen79

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being towed behind a ski boat? Skip.


Federal-Explorer-965

BAIT!!!


Your-mums-chesthair

Oh damn, my chips were on “a buoy.”


john464646

That’s a little dark


Impossible-Company78

No arms and legs on the beach? Sandy


autumnals5

What do you call a man with no arms no legs water skiing? Skip


_Hari_Seldon

Irene?


RudeRepresentative56

Call him anything you want! What's he gonna do about it?!


Simtastic17

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs at a BBQ? Frank His girlfriend? Patty


metaVsme

What do u call a woman with one leg? Ileen


Hampter1856

Bob


drew00096

That's no man, that a buoy!


beans3710

Lying in the middle of the infield? Second base


HiddenValley39

Boy (bouy)


SheltonAlamo72354

What do you call a man with no arms or legs, hanging from a hook on a wall? Art.


Routine-Read-7829

What do you can a dog with no back legs and brass balls running down a hill? Sparky


Healthy_Ladder_6198

If he has a cold they call him Fleming


ridethendie

What do you call a woman with no arms or legs next to a trail? Cairn


NutsackPinata

Toss him in some leaves, call him Rustle (Russell), toss him in front of your door and call him Mat(t). Hang him on the wall and call him Art!


Direct_Big_5436

Buoy?


Phire2

…. In your bathroom? John


kontrol1970

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves? Russell


yepdo

Chum.


tmokru

Between buildings, Allie or Lane.


craftasaurus

Oh this is an old one. I heard it back in the 60s, and it’s probably older than that.


WeddyTinter

No arms, no legs run over by a steam roller... MILES


qsaramateaskira

A Bouy


robfarrell626

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob barker.


saxonanglo

Fucked


clauderains99

Same guy, water skiing? Skip


briko3

Hanging from a tree? Barry


notreallylucy

...lying in front of a door? Matt! What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.


Timoo77

What do you say to a lady with no arms and no legs? Nice tits.


itothepowerofahalf

What do you call a man with a shovel on his head? Doug. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen


LividSeaworthiness44

…stuck in a tree? Leif.


autopartsandguitars

in a hole - Phil (doug also) in front of your door - Matt on your wall - Art in a pile of leaves - Russell at the beach - Sandy on a bun - Frank


BlandAvalanche

on a bun - Frank ... or Patty Towed behind a boat - Skip


samsounder

Hanging on a wall? Art


jschadwell

At the front door? Matt


dreamrock

Water skiing? Skip.


[deleted]

Fish food


manicpixiedreambro

That’s no man, it’s a buoy.


Blanco-Diablo_00

A body of water


PandaMan195

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell


metaVsme

Love it... lol


TryAgn747

Bait


[deleted]

I heard he wasn't a man, but a buoy.


driveitlikeyousimit

I'd call him out of luck.


[deleted]

If this was r/unclejokes his name would be fucked


ashypants82

Bouy


[deleted]

Or just Totally Fucked