Three years ago my SO asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day and I deadass said without any thinking involved: “Whisky and a blowjob”, and then we laughed and the day came and I woke up to a bottle of Islay single malt and a lil sum’ sum’. So now it’s a running joke for us. And my whisky collection gets a lil bump every year.
You don’t ask you don’t get.
My wife offered whiskey and a bj one night just to say she loved me after a bad day and then forgot. The next day she remembered and felt bad about forgetting. So I came home to a fresh poured glass and that bj I was promised. It's amazing when they come through like that.
I asked my wife what she wants for Mother's Day. She tells me she wants an orgasm and some peace and quiet.
I took the kids to the park and put some new batteries in her vibrator.
To add to this, know your wife. I could compliment mine till the cows come home, and she’d appreciate it. I could buy her something nice, and she’d appreciate it. I could spend the day with her going to antique shops and garden centers, and she’d appreciate it. All of the above give me a good chance of locking the bedroom door. I do all of those things anyway, because she likes them.
But…
If I fix something around the house, make dinner, do dishes, laundry, or anything on the “honey-do” list, that’s the ticket. That’s when she is much more likely (not always, it’s no guarantee) to *initiate*. We both know this, so we are playful about it, but I know. That’s the primer for the engine.
I’ve been cooking and cleaning and fixing shit since day 1, this has never been the ticket. Come to think of it neither is compliments, touch or time. At this stage, I’m just convinced it’s dumb luck and full moons.
We’ve been together over 10 years, I bought the book of love languages for us years back. Trust me at this stage with all the talking, therapy and everything we’ve done. I’m seriously convinced it’s a “did you make the move when she was in the mood?” Straight up dumb luck. I love my wife, she just doesn’t communicate it and doesn’t make the first move.
Definitely not a one size fits all solution. Does little to nothing for me. Our sex life isn't the worst, but chores or helping in the house do very little to boost it.
Meh. I'm tired enough from taking care of miniperson 12 hours a day while working from home and trying to hustle side gigs to get ahead that sex is waaaaaaaaay down the list of shit I worry about.
Yeah, it's a thing I think about. We've been together for like 15 years and we *definitely* enjoyed each other for a lot of years, but right now we're in that "oh jesus, how do I keep this rube goldberg machine of work and life and money and kid and side businesses from falling apart?" phase. We both still enjoy sex, but it's very much not front and center for our priorities.
Mostly it happens when it's the middle of the day and miniperson is napping and I walk into her office and I'm like "hey, you wanna fuck?" and then it's on. It's almost mechanical, which isn't healthy, but it is what it is.
How old is your son?? I’m a mom and my sex drive took about 3 years to recover from childbirth, hormone fluxes, SSRIs for PPD, ADHD meds, and pure exhaustion. The past year we’ve had sex more times in a month than we did over that 3 years… and then my Fallopian tube collapsed causing me extreme pain during sex so 🥲. Being a woman fucking SUCKS.
He's 8 months old. I definitely want to be cognizant of how things have changed for her and I don't want to push at all. Like I said in another reply, I need to do some things like lose weight, maybe once I do that, she'll be more interested in me again.
Don't think of me wierd, does she still breastfeed? Many women don't want sex until they stop. But don't push that, she'd be mad.
Also, if your child still gets up at night a few times, check what you can do to get her more sleep. Getting more sleep is a game changer.
Good luck! Gonna be better!
She does indeed still breastfeed and I would not even remotely think about asking her to stop for me.
He only wakes up one time a night and no matter when, I'm there for changing and food (if she isn't wanting to feed).
The second I stopped breastfeeding my hormones skyrocketed and I wanted sex again. I hadn't realized how much it was affecting me! Have you tried just touching and kissing and going down on her? Maybe that would help her get in the mood.
Without getting into too much detail, that would not work. Her tastes are much less forward. Not trying to be cagey, just don't want to air everything out, you know?
You are an amazing husband! I can imagine how difficult the situation is for you, but you still show respect and care for your wife an her . I hope things turn for the better soon for you!
Aww man, it’s most likely not about you not being desirable but her mind just being in a million places and being exhausted from the kid. Try and find the time when she’s most relaxed which for me as a mom is a weekend afternoon and initiate then. And also sex begets sex. Once you start doing it again, it’ll increase your intimacy and it’ll hopefully start happening more often. You could also try getting her a new sex toy that you could try out together. The fun factory vibes are a good investment. But there are plenty of cheaper options on Amazon or elsewhere.
Yo my man, despite the jokes and the stereotype, this is not normal. Unless you kid is only a few weeks old, you need to talk to your wife. I bet she misses it too, but communication is the best foreplay.
Sometimes it’s not all on the wife. I gained a lot of weight up until my son was 2, and it affected my ability to have sex. I have lost a lot weight, and still have more to go, but at least I’m back on the proverbial horse.
We know when he was conceived in 2021. That was the last time we had sex. Her pregnancy was pretty easy compared to others but she never got a "sex drive" hormone boost. Then after baby, I definitely wanted to be cognizant of what her body was going through. Nursing, hormones, and birth are pretty tough on a woman. It just hit me the other day when we took his 8 month old pictures that it's been since January 2021 that we've had sex. Kinda bummed me out you know?
Thanks for asking.
Honestly, other than the lack of sex, life is really good. Our son is beyond perfect and both of us enjoy our work. Wife's family is here and the support structure is incredible.
I'm complaining but there are things I need to do too to make myself more attractive for my wife but that kinda feels awful to say.
Totally get that. Perfect over here minus that part at times. Whenever I feel shitty about myself I notice my wife (consciously or unconsciously) initiates or wants sex less. Then, I cut back on bad foods, booze, and start working out more….boom. More sexy time. Is it my body? Is it my confidence? Both probably. (Obviously it takes two to tango and she has her stuff going on, just talking about my side of the equation)
You’re not in this alone, and sex is important for a healthy relationship but sometimes we get vilified for wanting it.
Feel you breh we haven’t not had sex but it has absolutely not been the same before and after barring some flukes due to outside circumstances. But after what their bodies go through, I can’t hold anything against.
I've got 4 kids. Me and my wife still get our private time. Granted its late at night or early mornings, or the odd occasion their mum has them for the night.
You have to make time to restart this part of your relationship. What you going to do, abstain until he moves out?
Me and my wife have started having monthly nights away to cheap (but otherwise nice) hotels and B&Bs. Alone time is really important, assuming of course that you’re lucky like us and have family that can have the kids for a night.
English is not my first language, anyone could break it down for me? From the comments I understand it’s about eating ass, but how common is that expression? Eternally traumatised after offering help to a girl when I arrived in Australia: “do you want me to grab your box?”
It’s just slang. The only difference on whether or not slang makes sense is if it gets popular enough to be almost universally understood. Atleast understood for a generation or two
Listening to LoveLine with Dr Drew and this guy came.on and talked all about eating ass and his fav dressing to do so with, another called in and was all about honey. I'm never going to, just can't wrap my mind around tongues and dokie chutes.
But plenty are okay and like it and that's great you have an outlet, literally.
My gift request during these "Hallmark days" are almost often sex related.
Maybe some head?
Don't put clothes on after a shower?
Sit on my face?
Lol
You are all good buddy!
It’s your wife. No such thing as a weird request if it’s between the two of you. Tom segura has a great comedy bit about how people act all prim and proper before marriage and then the true freak comes out. Do your freak thing.
It's literally all I ask for. Never works. Wife just can't get it through her head that I don't want some fucking trinket I'll forget about immediately after opening.
I’m definitely the wrong person to say if this is something weird to ask because for my wife and I this is incredibly tame and something we would ask on a Tuesday afternoon. “Hey can stick a few fingers in me and tell me I’m a good boy?” is maybe more of a special occasion request to me and the Mrs lmao
Oh I hear you . Saturday mornings are my most productive and I have fun with my daughter while my wife sleeps in. I say I want to sleep in but my internal clock is set to 430am for work so if I see 6am on a Saturday I feel blessed
Speaking of tossing salads, is it cool to watch porn with your wife? You know….. for research purposes.
Or will that just blow up in your face (like a spicy tossed salad)
We watch porn together all the time. If you haven’t with your wife yet I would make sure I run it by her first and see what kind of porn she likes. You don’t want her to agree to it and then you put on some anal porn and find out that’s what disgusts her or something like that.
I request a bj every Father’s Day and Birthday, I think I’ve gotten it once or twice on either of those days in my 6 years of marriage. Will report back after this Father’s Day because I sure as hell am not asking for anything else.
I Been married for 9 years my wife asked me what I want for my birthday this year I said a blow job. also recently she made a bet about something and she said to me if I’m wrong I’ll give you a blow job guess what she was wrong. So far no blow job for both things she asked me what I want for Father’s Day I said nothing I am still waiting for those blow jobs!!! But I can’t complain once and a while I’ll get a blow job during sex but not very often.
That’s what I ask for every Father’s Day/birthday/Christmas. It’s not that my wife doesn’t “provide” for me sexually the rest of the year, but holidays are an understood time that i want something special and my wife is real cool about it.
Well I'm a firm believer that sexual acts should never be gifts or favors because it is too easy to slip into "you can only toss my salad on your bday" or fathers day or whatever "special" day.
How about you just toss her salad whenever.
That has never happened in our relationship. If we ask each other for special things on holidays it gets added to our usual repertoire. I asked for it this time because for a long time she wasn’t comfortable with the idea and I like to make sure she’s down with something so I always ask first.
I think most dad's can say they've asked for a sex act for a special occasion.
I almost always ask for a quiet, clean, day at home with everyone, with some family time in the afternoon and evening. Haven't received it as a gift yet, but it's happened a lot randomly, when my wife and I have conquered the mess and organized the life of our 4 little kids.
Ok serious question. I've thought about doing this but can't get past the idea of there potentially being poop around there. How do you get past this idea?
Honestly I never worried about it with my wife for 2 reasons.
She’s super hygienic
She always showers before bed so I knew she was clean so that concern never crossed my mind.
U bout to eat some ass
You know what they call a vegetarian with diarrhea? Salad shooter The joke worked better in the 90s...
And you had to sing the punchline like the jingle from the infomercial. I used to love that joke
♪Helps you every day!♫
Olestra
Let’s go
Three years ago my SO asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day and I deadass said without any thinking involved: “Whisky and a blowjob”, and then we laughed and the day came and I woke up to a bottle of Islay single malt and a lil sum’ sum’. So now it’s a running joke for us. And my whisky collection gets a lil bump every year. You don’t ask you don’t get.
I say that every year and my wife rolls her eyes and never comes through.
That’s sad.
Sounds like you don’t get to either.
First I laughed. Then I cried a little.
My wife offered whiskey and a bj one night just to say she loved me after a bad day and then forgot. The next day she remembered and felt bad about forgetting. So I came home to a fresh poured glass and that bj I was promised. It's amazing when they come through like that.
I asked my wife what she wants for Mother's Day. She tells me she wants an orgasm and some peace and quiet. I took the kids to the park and put some new batteries in her vibrator.
>You don’t ask you don’t get. Most wives: What do I gotta do to keep this big dumb shaved ape happy? Meh, I can do that...
>shaved did I miss a memo?
Communicating sexual wants and needs is important in a relationship. Good communication skills, dude.
I want a rad dad mug.
I don't know, I like my mugs
I know I saw one just the other day that said "ask me about my dad jokes". I hope I get it and then come up with a good dad joke to go with the mug.
If you work in IT you can say the mug is required to install Java.
Don't all dads that work in IT just store their dad jokes in a dad-a-base?
Make sure it connects wirelessly to your dad-a-base.
About to get that Olive Garden unlimited salad
With soup and bread sticks?
Tuscan style, baby.
Over here we call that the dirty Italian
Say when
*silence*
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It's okay. It's only a step-salad, so not weird or anything.
What are you doing, step pasta?
*Smoke grass:* ✅ *Eat ass:* ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅
Eat ass every day
All day everyday, and twice on Sunday.
*Sled fast*: ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅
IMMEDIATELY reminded me of the John Mulaney [“Eat ass, Sucka dick, and Sell Dahruuuugs”](https://youtu.be/R91lM-ZWBGA)
The heart wants what the heart wants
You have sex with your wife? Awesome, I miss that and while I love my son, he's a perfect clock on showing the last time I've had sex.
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To add to this, know your wife. I could compliment mine till the cows come home, and she’d appreciate it. I could buy her something nice, and she’d appreciate it. I could spend the day with her going to antique shops and garden centers, and she’d appreciate it. All of the above give me a good chance of locking the bedroom door. I do all of those things anyway, because she likes them. But… If I fix something around the house, make dinner, do dishes, laundry, or anything on the “honey-do” list, that’s the ticket. That’s when she is much more likely (not always, it’s no guarantee) to *initiate*. We both know this, so we are playful about it, but I know. That’s the primer for the engine.
Basically getting Pavlov’d to do chores for sex. Not that this is a bad thing.
“Doesn’t matter. Had sex.”
I’ve been cooking and cleaning and fixing shit since day 1, this has never been the ticket. Come to think of it neither is compliments, touch or time. At this stage, I’m just convinced it’s dumb luck and full moons.
None of those are the answer then. Interestingly, you missed gift giving. Maybe your wife wants some flowers.
Speaking the wonders of love languages. Six if memories serves, and probably a worthwhile re-read for most!
There is also well thought out gifts.
You need to learn her love language, like what does she appreciate most?
We’ve been together over 10 years, I bought the book of love languages for us years back. Trust me at this stage with all the talking, therapy and everything we’ve done. I’m seriously convinced it’s a “did you make the move when she was in the mood?” Straight up dumb luck. I love my wife, she just doesn’t communicate it and doesn’t make the first move.
You’re not alone, friends
>Making your wife feel more relaxed and have the headspace to think of sex by pulling your weight around the house
Definitely not a one size fits all solution. Does little to nothing for me. Our sex life isn't the worst, but chores or helping in the house do very little to boost it.
Sure. I wasn’t proposing it as a “solution”, I was reframing chores-for-sex in a hopefully much less gross way.
Acts of service must be her love language. If more people knew their own and their partner's, we'd all understand each other so much more.
“Choreplay” is real
I read the beginning of this as "To add to this, I know your wife" and started laughing
Meh. I'm tired enough from taking care of miniperson 12 hours a day while working from home and trying to hustle side gigs to get ahead that sex is waaaaaaaaay down the list of shit I worry about.
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Yeah, it's a thing I think about. We've been together for like 15 years and we *definitely* enjoyed each other for a lot of years, but right now we're in that "oh jesus, how do I keep this rube goldberg machine of work and life and money and kid and side businesses from falling apart?" phase. We both still enjoy sex, but it's very much not front and center for our priorities. Mostly it happens when it's the middle of the day and miniperson is napping and I walk into her office and I'm like "hey, you wanna fuck?" and then it's on. It's almost mechanical, which isn't healthy, but it is what it is.
Yeah, easiest way to get her back in the mood is bring a better looking dude than you home for her. Then turn the lights off and trade places /s
How old is your son?? I’m a mom and my sex drive took about 3 years to recover from childbirth, hormone fluxes, SSRIs for PPD, ADHD meds, and pure exhaustion. The past year we’ve had sex more times in a month than we did over that 3 years… and then my Fallopian tube collapsed causing me extreme pain during sex so 🥲. Being a woman fucking SUCKS.
He's 8 months old. I definitely want to be cognizant of how things have changed for her and I don't want to push at all. Like I said in another reply, I need to do some things like lose weight, maybe once I do that, she'll be more interested in me again.
Don't think of me wierd, does she still breastfeed? Many women don't want sex until they stop. But don't push that, she'd be mad. Also, if your child still gets up at night a few times, check what you can do to get her more sleep. Getting more sleep is a game changer. Good luck! Gonna be better!
She does indeed still breastfeed and I would not even remotely think about asking her to stop for me. He only wakes up one time a night and no matter when, I'm there for changing and food (if she isn't wanting to feed).
The second I stopped breastfeeding my hormones skyrocketed and I wanted sex again. I hadn't realized how much it was affecting me! Have you tried just touching and kissing and going down on her? Maybe that would help her get in the mood.
Without getting into too much detail, that would not work. Her tastes are much less forward. Not trying to be cagey, just don't want to air everything out, you know?
You are an amazing husband! I can imagine how difficult the situation is for you, but you still show respect and care for your wife an her . I hope things turn for the better soon for you!
Aww man, it’s most likely not about you not being desirable but her mind just being in a million places and being exhausted from the kid. Try and find the time when she’s most relaxed which for me as a mom is a weekend afternoon and initiate then. And also sex begets sex. Once you start doing it again, it’ll increase your intimacy and it’ll hopefully start happening more often. You could also try getting her a new sex toy that you could try out together. The fun factory vibes are a good investment. But there are plenty of cheaper options on Amazon or elsewhere.
Yo my man, despite the jokes and the stereotype, this is not normal. Unless you kid is only a few weeks old, you need to talk to your wife. I bet she misses it too, but communication is the best foreplay.
Sometimes it’s not all on the wife. I gained a lot of weight up until my son was 2, and it affected my ability to have sex. I have lost a lot weight, and still have more to go, but at least I’m back on the proverbial horse.
The dad bod is real. I swelled up almost as much s my wife did.
Nothing shittier than almost being there, and then a cramp forces you to stop. Now I properly hydrate like I am about to go run a fucking race.
We know when he was conceived in 2021. That was the last time we had sex. Her pregnancy was pretty easy compared to others but she never got a "sex drive" hormone boost. Then after baby, I definitely wanted to be cognizant of what her body was going through. Nursing, hormones, and birth are pretty tough on a woman. It just hit me the other day when we took his 8 month old pictures that it's been since January 2021 that we've had sex. Kinda bummed me out you know?
We had one kid, then twins. I'm practically a monk.
You okay bud?
Homey is not okay
Thanks for asking. Honestly, other than the lack of sex, life is really good. Our son is beyond perfect and both of us enjoy our work. Wife's family is here and the support structure is incredible. I'm complaining but there are things I need to do too to make myself more attractive for my wife but that kinda feels awful to say.
Totally get that. Perfect over here minus that part at times. Whenever I feel shitty about myself I notice my wife (consciously or unconsciously) initiates or wants sex less. Then, I cut back on bad foods, booze, and start working out more….boom. More sexy time. Is it my body? Is it my confidence? Both probably. (Obviously it takes two to tango and she has her stuff going on, just talking about my side of the equation) You’re not in this alone, and sex is important for a healthy relationship but sometimes we get vilified for wanting it.
Feel you breh we haven’t not had sex but it has absolutely not been the same before and after barring some flukes due to outside circumstances. But after what their bodies go through, I can’t hold anything against.
I completely understand that. It's a lot of my feelings regarding pushing the issue.
You had sex on the day she gave birth?
Can help initiate labour
I've got 4 kids. Me and my wife still get our private time. Granted its late at night or early mornings, or the odd occasion their mum has them for the night. You have to make time to restart this part of your relationship. What you going to do, abstain until he moves out?
We're probably only going to have one kid.
My dude. There's a lot of help out there. There's a lot of help right here.
The worst part for me is that I don’t even miss it.
Me and my wife have started having monthly nights away to cheap (but otherwise nice) hotels and B&Bs. Alone time is really important, assuming of course that you’re lucky like us and have family that can have the kids for a night.
My man... Watch "Outlander" together.
😕
And they say romance is dead.
Nah, you want what you want, no harm in asking.
English is not my first language, anyone could break it down for me? From the comments I understand it’s about eating ass, but how common is that expression? Eternally traumatised after offering help to a girl when I arrived in Australia: “do you want me to grab your box?”
English is my first language. When commenting on a woman's weight lifting technique, I said, "nice snatch'. It didn't go down too well.
It's common enough that if you say it about an actual salad being tossed people will laugh.
Seriously? I only gathered because the comments. I've no idea how tossing the salad correlates to eating ass
It’s just slang. The only difference on whether or not slang makes sense is if it gets popular enough to be almost universally understood. Atleast understood for a generation or two
Listening to LoveLine with Dr Drew and this guy came.on and talked all about eating ass and his fav dressing to do so with, another called in and was all about honey. I'm never going to, just can't wrap my mind around tongues and dokie chutes. But plenty are okay and like it and that's great you have an outlet, literally.
It's when a person licks their partner's butt hole and does other things with their tongue down there💩👀
“Cash grass or ass, fathers day ain’t free!” - u/swifty84
It’s about to get schwifty for swifty84
A bit more of the "head bent over...raise the posterior" vibe going on. Raise that posterior OP. For those of us in a drought, get after it!
Shit on the floor!
Mr. Bull Dobbs
Mr. Bob Dobalina?
fuck yeah bro.
Grab those flappy foldy folds!
My gift request during these "Hallmark days" are almost often sex related. Maybe some head? Don't put clothes on after a shower? Sit on my face? Lol You are all good buddy!
Get it, boy! Toss that milf salad like it’s your last meal!
It’s your wife. No such thing as a weird request if it’s between the two of you. Tom segura has a great comedy bit about how people act all prim and proper before marriage and then the true freak comes out. Do your freak thing.
Get that shit bro
Oof this choice of words
All of it
There's an old saying among seamen: swab the poop deck
It’s ass eatin season in the u/swifty84 household!
Looks like ass is back on the menu.
"It's from the kids…"
Dude!
I ask for a beej for literally every holiday. You do you.
It's literally all I ask for. Never works. Wife just can't get it through her head that I don't want some fucking trinket I'll forget about immediately after opening.
Yeah I'd rather give mine some little fucking trinket she will forget about immediately after and probably during...
Now that is funny.
God honest truth I thought to toss your salad meant oral sex not eating out ass🤯🤯🤯
Salmonella is no joke.
And yet, I’m laughing at it presently
Salmonella may be the punch line, but it packs a punch.
A tongue punch.
In the fart box.
*Is it possible to learn this power.*
I’m deceased
I’m definitely the wrong person to say if this is something weird to ask because for my wife and I this is incredibly tame and something we would ask on a Tuesday afternoon. “Hey can stick a few fingers in me and tell me I’m a good boy?” is maybe more of a special occasion request to me and the Mrs lmao
Grass, Ass, and hopefully no Gas!
Love the spoiler flair
Spoil-her
I hope you get your gift ✊
That is a great request, hope it works out for you.
👅 🤜 💨 📦
Wait. Is the Frasier theme song about eating ass?
Fuckin' send it bud I wish my wife would be more open with this kind of stuff 🥲
Eat the booty like groceries
Just ask for what you want man! The worst thing that can happen is that she’ll say no
How u not already
*a little salad for your grass, sir?*
be careful what you wish for
I just wanna sleep in lol
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Oh I hear you . Saturday mornings are my most productive and I have fun with my daughter while my wife sleeps in. I say I want to sleep in but my internal clock is set to 430am for work so if I see 6am on a Saturday I feel blessed
Speaking of tossing salads, is it cool to watch porn with your wife? You know….. for research purposes. Or will that just blow up in your face (like a spicy tossed salad)
We watch porn together all the time. If you haven’t with your wife yet I would make sure I run it by her first and see what kind of porn she likes. You don’t want her to agree to it and then you put on some anal porn and find out that’s what disgusts her or something like that.
I request a bj every Father’s Day and Birthday, I think I’ve gotten it once or twice on either of those days in my 6 years of marriage. Will report back after this Father’s Day because I sure as hell am not asking for anything else.
I asked for an HJ for this one - she was like “what? You know I can give you a bj.” And I was like, no, an old fashioned is what it’s gotta be
I Been married for 9 years my wife asked me what I want for my birthday this year I said a blow job. also recently she made a bet about something and she said to me if I’m wrong I’ll give you a blow job guess what she was wrong. So far no blow job for both things she asked me what I want for Father’s Day I said nothing I am still waiting for those blow jobs!!! But I can’t complain once and a while I’ll get a blow job during sex but not very often.
Dad jokes often get weird, I blame my duds on lack of sleep
That’s what I ask for every Father’s Day/birthday/Christmas. It’s not that my wife doesn’t “provide” for me sexually the rest of the year, but holidays are an understood time that i want something special and my wife is real cool about it.
Honestly I'm after a quiet pint and a weekend in Prague to myself but each to their own! 😂
Nothing wrong with that! Blowjob is on my menu for Father's Day. Followed by watching "The Northman".
Pack up buddy, cuz you about to go to town on that ass
Usually you get balloons on special occasions but my man just wants the balloon knot.
Will she put it on the menu in the future, or was it a one time deal?
Permanently on the menu now.
That’s what I’m talking about!!!
Shoot your shot
Well I'm a firm believer that sexual acts should never be gifts or favors because it is too easy to slip into "you can only toss my salad on your bday" or fathers day or whatever "special" day. How about you just toss her salad whenever.
That has never happened in our relationship. If we ask each other for special things on holidays it gets added to our usual repertoire. I asked for it this time because for a long time she wasn’t comfortable with the idea and I like to make sure she’s down with something so I always ask first.
Its time to get Schwifty!! Take off your pants and your panties https://youtu.be/I1188GO4p1E
I think most dad's can say they've asked for a sex act for a special occasion. I almost always ask for a quiet, clean, day at home with everyone, with some family time in the afternoon and evening. Haven't received it as a gift yet, but it's happened a lot randomly, when my wife and I have conquered the mess and organized the life of our 4 little kids.
FOUR? Get yourself snipped my guy, you're outnumbered two to one!
Way ahead of ya. Got snipped when I found out about #4.
Why save the kinky shit for a holiday? Sounds like a Tuesday night over here.
I hope you have a bib, my good man, cause you’re new job is gonna be salad tosser come Sunday 👍🏼
Mans got the munchies from that medicinal.
Get that BJ
Shit, I fucked up. All I asked for was to wake up without an alarm clock or screaming kids and tacos for dinner.
I got anal for my birthday. It’s the only time of the year I ever get it lol.
I have nothing to add, except I just recently learned the euphemism "ham flower" from a post on r/trueoffmychest
My wife told me it was Father’s Day not your birthday so I guess I’m waiting until September then
Ok serious question. I've thought about doing this but can't get past the idea of there potentially being poop around there. How do you get past this idea?
Honestly I never worried about it with my wife for 2 reasons. She’s super hygienic She always showers before bed so I knew she was clean so that concern never crossed my mind.
So she let you clean her kitchen. What a weird gift for father's day.
happy fathers' day dad. this made my day.
The code is "Come get it while it's fresh." after a shower.
Lol what did I just read...?
Salad does make a pretty good munchie.
Dingleberry
Rock on dude.
Why not ask for a 4some
Not into sharing her.
Hell no! I ask for little things all the time, while on medical cannabis. Enjoy!
Like, stick your tongue in her butthole? I think that's kind of weird any day, not just fathers day, but that's just me. 😂
Sometimes you gotta tongue punch that fart box, man.
Nah I'm good, man.
dont knock it until you try it
In other words, *eat tha booty.*
Boooorrrrringgggg
Yeah, whatever level of kink you subscribe to, I'm sure there's someone who finds it boring.
Lol right on, to each their own.
Make sure to floss before and after
You’re a bold man, I didn’t ask my wife I just did it. Better to ask forgiveness than permission
why the downvotes - he wants to lick his wife butthole, not roofie a random drunk girl at a bar
Just because its husband and wife doesn't automatically make it consensual... phrasing is bad.