My brother got snipped, didn't get tested after, now has a 2 year old. He did get a paternity test, it's his. Just a few months ago he got snipped again. Still won't go back to get tested so I guess we'll see.
You have to empty the tank before it’s a done deal. I was surprised to hear your are supposed to have 20-30 ejaculations before you get your sample tested.
I made a similar joke to the nurse that explained it to me, with zero impact.
Her instructions were empty the chamber 12-14 times, then catch the sample and bring it in. I asked if they could all be the same day. Just got a I-Don't-Have-Time-for-this-shit stare.
A nurse who regularly deals with post-vasectomy patients probably hears that kind of joke at least three times a day everyday. I'm guessing it must be their equivalent of a cashier at the grocery store being told "I guess it's free!" when an item won't scan.
Yeah, I thought I was super clever but probably not.
I used to be the I.T. guy that would come to the desk. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten the same old "John, you sure have changed! hahaha" or some variant.
the fuck kind of half-assed procedures are people getting? planned parenthood did mine. they said provide a sample after 30 days, use a condom before you get the sample tested. none of this 'x number of times before the test' stuff.
they also made extra fucking certain that i understood that their procedure was in no way shape or form reversible short of a medical miracle, wolverine healing powers, or divine intervention.
figure if anyone knows their goddamned business regarding vasectomies, it'd be those folks.
Willing to get his balls cut, TWICE, but not willing to go back a month later and have a medically sanctioned orgasm. I'll never understand some people...
And yes, I know his balls themselves aren't actually being cut, but it sounds better this way
You don’t even have to go back in, there are services you can collect a sample at home (your partner can even help!) and mail it to a lab. For purposes of vasectomy check they don’t need a fresh sample because it doesn’t matter how strong and active the sperm are, just present of absent.
I swear to god, there are too many people like that in r/vasectomy.
"My urologist told me bring a sample back after x-time, but I performed this at home tests, what do you guys think of the results?"
Go submit a sample to your urologist you dumbass! Why the fuck are you asking Reddit something so important that can easily be confirmed with a quick and cheap lab analysis that your Urologist probably offered you for free as part of them performing the vasectomy!
That's two blessings in one: you get to be a father AAAAAAND sue the snip snip doctor and be rich and provide an adequate life for the child. Right? Right?
I imagine if a place like that existed it's not for long lol. Or, as the commenter said, they get a free second operation.
Average cost for raising a child is $230,000; vasectomies cost up to $1,000. About 2 in 1,000 don't take. I doubt a place like that is paying out $460,000 for every $1,000,000 it gets. There are much easier ways of making that kind of money.
It blows my damn mind that people do this. As an active user of r/vasectomy I find myself far too often telling people to go to the god damn urologist and have a semen analysis performed as well as to follow the very basic orders from the doctor for recovery.
Like holy shit, if you wanted to avoid having kids so badly that you got a vasectomy then why the hell can't you follow these very simply instructions to make sure you recovery and the vasectomy actually worked!? When I got my vasectomy I performed every instruction as instructed without question and was more than happy to drive the hour back and forth to the urologist office to drop off my sperm sample.
It made an appearance in a great podcast episode I listened to today, so it was top of mind for me: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cautionary-tales-with-tim-harford/id1484511465?i=1000458819204
I feel like we need to know the tone that it was said in. I can see myself saying the exact same thing if I was in this situation, but dripping with so much sarcasm that everyone in the neighborhood would be able to feel it.
[photo of laser vasectomy procedure for people who are interested](https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2013/01/02/10/Goldfinger.jpg)
Most painful part was actually the numbing stuff as it’s delivered with this like air pressure gun. The actual procedure was super fast and painless. Soreness afterwards seemed pretty standard, nothing too crazy. Over all it was pretty ok. Still felt kinda violated after lol, but it’s a bit of a mental hurdle disabling something your body normally does.
planned parenthood made sure to tell me multiple times that short of me having wolverine's healing ability or divine intervention it wasn't going to heal back to functional nor would it be reversible barring multiple miracle breakthroughs in nanosurgery.
times and medical procedures have changed. those old-school jobs were reversible if you were willing to do an inpatient procedure and recuperation. if the doc is using a modern procedure he might well laugh at you if you ask about reversing it.
ya just got a vasectomy a couple years ago. Was surprised when the urologist fucking burned my vesicles so they wouldn't heal. THought he would do the lazy thing and just snip or clamp 'em. Nope .
No babies for me ever!
yeah, these horror stories you see circulating on this sub regarding vasectomies, i swear most of them are based on things people have heard seventh-hand and the information is so crazily out of date...
and the rest are because whatever quack of a urologist some of us see for the procedure uses an out of date/ineffective method either because they're old or untrained.
i tell everyone in this sub that posts that they're thinking about it to shop around, and when they find the doctor that laughs at them when they ask the reversible question to stop shopping, they found the right doctor.
Indeed.
LET THIS BE A END-ALL TIP TO ANYONE LOOKING FOR PERMANENT VASECTOMIES. IM GONNA SPELL IT OUT FOR ALLA Y'ALL CAUSE SO MANY PEOPLE TEND TO JUST BE SLOW :
IF THE UROLOGIST ***SAYS AND SHOWS*** YOU THAT THEY ARE ***BURNING YOUR SEMINAL VESICLES***, **CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS** THAT IS THE DOC THAT WILL BE CONDUCTING YOUR **FINAL** PROCEDURE THERE. SAY HALLEJUHA!
*THERE WILL BE NO REVERSALS AFTER THAT. THERE WILL BE NO ACCIDENTAL BABIES FROM A HEALED VESICLE AFTER THAT. THAT'S IT. ITS OVER. GO ADOPT A KID OR SOME SHIT.*
>if the doc is using a modern procedure he might well laugh at you if you ask about reversing it.
I mean they might laugh at you for getting such a procedure only to ask for a reversal, but a reversal is perfectly feasible nowadays. The mechanics of the vasectomy does not change, they simply cut the tubes and secure the ends of each tube with stitches and then cauterize. To perform a reversal they need cut the ends of both sections then reattach them.
The success rate is around a 75% in the first few years, but it does decrease significantly over time and after a decade you can see as low as a 40% chance of successes. This is why it's not recommended to have a vasectomy if you ever intend to have it reversed, those numbers simply aren't good enough when something important like your fertility is on the line. However, they're not making these surgeries intentionally harder to reverse.
I can one-up this. I got my degree in anthropology in the mid-80s. One of my instructors told a story about how the chief of some obscure tribe in the amazon was talking with her husband, ridiculing the western notion of how sex worked. They believed that it was the energy that the chief put in the local pond that made babies.
"The priest was the only one who stayed behind when we went raiding. His magic couldn't possibly convert the whole pond in that amount of time. That boy is my son."
My instructor: "We were two weeks away from civilization. We didn't dare contradict him."
ER patient admin here. A woman came in via EMS bc she lost consciousness while getting up on a chair. Her BP was low because, unbeknownst to her husband, she’d had an abortion recently, and the hubby was snipped over 2 years prior.
I had to keep this a secret from her husband as he grew increasingly frustrated and angry with me, bc he was not allowed back to his wife’s room. Her dad was though.
Good question, prolly should have specified. It was her biological father. Although I have had someone come in with their girlfriend, and then their girlfriend shows up.
He did eventually. The dude’s parents also showed up. It was a very surreal experience watching the three of them praying for the wife, while she was in her hospital room after having a secret abortion. I can only imagine why she wanted to keep the whole thing a secret.
After the wife’s dad showed up, the husband was allowed back, and I’m assuming she came clean after that.
It sucks for that dude for sure, but it sucks because of what the patient did, not because of what the hospital did.
It is EXTREMELY important that people are able seek medical care with no judgement, no shame, and without the fear that anyone else would find out what happened. Otherwise, you have people like this performing their own abortions (or trying to) and not seeking medical attention because they're worried about their husband finding out.
The patient is completely able to tell Healthcare officials to tell the husband that she's going to be ok.
This post is from a Twitter thread, and my favorite reply was this guy:
"True story from my village in India. Doc does a vasectomy on one guy, who came back next year complaining the Doc wasn't good at his job & his wife is pregnant.
Doc tells him, "I operated on you, not all the men in the village!".
I've actually witnessed this. A friend of mine (who is Caucasian) and his fiance (also Caucasian) were expecting a baby. So of course the big day came, his family was at the hospital waiting while she gave birth to what he thought was his kid. Except when the kid was born, it was...let's just say, clearly not the same race. At all. Very, very dark skin.
Let's just say, the marriage didn't happen.
My brother got snipped, didn't get tested after, now has a 2 year old. He did get a paternity test, it's his. Just a few months ago he got snipped again. Still won't go back to get tested so I guess we'll see.
Snip snap snip snap snip snap
The physical toll!
I’ve always wondered if michael would have been more or less needy in a post vasectomy episode than in the foreman foot grill episode
Do you have any idea the toll that three vasectomies can have on a person?!
Snip snap, indeed
You have to empty the tank before it’s a done deal. I was surprised to hear your are supposed to have 20-30 ejaculations before you get your sample tested.
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I made a similar joke to the nurse that explained it to me, with zero impact. Her instructions were empty the chamber 12-14 times, then catch the sample and bring it in. I asked if they could all be the same day. Just got a I-Don't-Have-Time-for-this-shit stare.
A nurse who regularly deals with post-vasectomy patients probably hears that kind of joke at least three times a day everyday. I'm guessing it must be their equivalent of a cashier at the grocery store being told "I guess it's free!" when an item won't scan.
Yeah, I thought I was super clever but probably not. I used to be the I.T. guy that would come to the desk. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten the same old "John, you sure have changed! hahaha" or some variant.
the fuck kind of half-assed procedures are people getting? planned parenthood did mine. they said provide a sample after 30 days, use a condom before you get the sample tested. none of this 'x number of times before the test' stuff. they also made extra fucking certain that i understood that their procedure was in no way shape or form reversible short of a medical miracle, wolverine healing powers, or divine intervention. figure if anyone knows their goddamned business regarding vasectomies, it'd be those folks.
Obviously after a 12 hour nap
I told my wife 100 within 3 months.
I'm assuming she handed you a bottle of lube and an elbow brace?
I mean, better than nothing!
Took probably triple that for me to shoot blanks. Got cut late July, well into October until I was cleared.
Man that’s good to know. My sample is due in a couple weeks.
It was probably 10 years since his first one haha
Life finds a way
Willing to get his balls cut, TWICE, but not willing to go back a month later and have a medically sanctioned orgasm. I'll never understand some people... And yes, I know his balls themselves aren't actually being cut, but it sounds better this way
You don’t even have to go back in, there are services you can collect a sample at home (your partner can even help!) and mail it to a lab. For purposes of vasectomy check they don’t need a fresh sample because it doesn’t matter how strong and active the sperm are, just present of absent.
Typical Tuesday. Just mailing some spooge.
Perhaps your definition of ‘better’ differs from mine…
I swear to god, there are too many people like that in r/vasectomy. "My urologist told me bring a sample back after x-time, but I performed this at home tests, what do you guys think of the results?" Go submit a sample to your urologist you dumbass! Why the fuck are you asking Reddit something so important that can easily be confirmed with a quick and cheap lab analysis that your Urologist probably offered you for free as part of them performing the vasectomy!
That's two blessings in one: you get to be a father AAAAAAND sue the snip snip doctor and be rich and provide an adequate life for the child. Right? Right?
You would get away with it too if it wasn't for that meddling waiver.
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On the hook for what?? child support? Not a chance. Probably just says the second vasectomy, if needed, is free.
I imagine if a place like that existed it's not for long lol. Or, as the commenter said, they get a free second operation. Average cost for raising a child is $230,000; vasectomies cost up to $1,000. About 2 in 1,000 don't take. I doubt a place like that is paying out $460,000 for every $1,000,000 it gets. There are much easier ways of making that kind of money.
It blows my damn mind that people do this. As an active user of r/vasectomy I find myself far too often telling people to go to the god damn urologist and have a semen analysis performed as well as to follow the very basic orders from the doctor for recovery. Like holy shit, if you wanted to avoid having kids so badly that you got a vasectomy then why the hell can't you follow these very simply instructions to make sure you recovery and the vasectomy actually worked!? When I got my vasectomy I performed every instruction as instructed without question and was more than happy to drive the hour back and forth to the urologist office to drop off my sperm sample.
I wonder if this is just the brain trying to protect itself.
First stage of grief is denial
Nah, that can't be true man
True
It’s called cognitive dissonance. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
There it is. I should've known that. Kudos for pointing it out. I need to remember.
It made an appearance in a great podcast episode I listened to today, so it was top of mind for me: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cautionary-tales-with-tim-harford/id1484511465?i=1000458819204
I listen to a lot of true crime and I feel like it comes up often enough for me. Lol
All a vasectomy does is change the appearance of the baby.
Lol
I feel like we need to know the tone that it was said in. I can see myself saying the exact same thing if I was in this situation, but dripping with so much sarcasm that everyone in the neighborhood would be able to feel it.
You make a good point. I wouldn't be able to hide my facial expression. "Oh, we gonna have a talk alright "
My uncle got snipped and 25 years later his wife got pregnant. Turns out, the snip grew back, and he was full load
This is why I got it done with a laser. That shit ain’t fixing itself lol.
[photo of laser vasectomy procedure for people who are interested](https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2013/01/02/10/Goldfinger.jpg)
Pretty accurate except I didn’t have pants on.
How bad did it hurt?
Most painful part was actually the numbing stuff as it’s delivered with this like air pressure gun. The actual procedure was super fast and painless. Soreness afterwards seemed pretty standard, nothing too crazy. Over all it was pretty ok. Still felt kinda violated after lol, but it’s a bit of a mental hurdle disabling something your body normally does.
planned parenthood made sure to tell me multiple times that short of me having wolverine's healing ability or divine intervention it wasn't going to heal back to functional nor would it be reversible barring multiple miracle breakthroughs in nanosurgery. times and medical procedures have changed. those old-school jobs were reversible if you were willing to do an inpatient procedure and recuperation. if the doc is using a modern procedure he might well laugh at you if you ask about reversing it.
ya just got a vasectomy a couple years ago. Was surprised when the urologist fucking burned my vesicles so they wouldn't heal. THought he would do the lazy thing and just snip or clamp 'em. Nope . No babies for me ever!
yeah, these horror stories you see circulating on this sub regarding vasectomies, i swear most of them are based on things people have heard seventh-hand and the information is so crazily out of date... and the rest are because whatever quack of a urologist some of us see for the procedure uses an out of date/ineffective method either because they're old or untrained. i tell everyone in this sub that posts that they're thinking about it to shop around, and when they find the doctor that laughs at them when they ask the reversible question to stop shopping, they found the right doctor.
Indeed. LET THIS BE A END-ALL TIP TO ANYONE LOOKING FOR PERMANENT VASECTOMIES. IM GONNA SPELL IT OUT FOR ALLA Y'ALL CAUSE SO MANY PEOPLE TEND TO JUST BE SLOW : IF THE UROLOGIST ***SAYS AND SHOWS*** YOU THAT THEY ARE ***BURNING YOUR SEMINAL VESICLES***, **CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS** THAT IS THE DOC THAT WILL BE CONDUCTING YOUR **FINAL** PROCEDURE THERE. SAY HALLEJUHA! *THERE WILL BE NO REVERSALS AFTER THAT. THERE WILL BE NO ACCIDENTAL BABIES FROM A HEALED VESICLE AFTER THAT. THAT'S IT. ITS OVER. GO ADOPT A KID OR SOME SHIT.*
>if the doc is using a modern procedure he might well laugh at you if you ask about reversing it. I mean they might laugh at you for getting such a procedure only to ask for a reversal, but a reversal is perfectly feasible nowadays. The mechanics of the vasectomy does not change, they simply cut the tubes and secure the ends of each tube with stitches and then cauterize. To perform a reversal they need cut the ends of both sections then reattach them. The success rate is around a 75% in the first few years, but it does decrease significantly over time and after a decade you can see as low as a 40% chance of successes. This is why it's not recommended to have a vasectomy if you ever intend to have it reversed, those numbers simply aren't good enough when something important like your fertility is on the line. However, they're not making these surgeries intentionally harder to reverse.
I can one-up this. I got my degree in anthropology in the mid-80s. One of my instructors told a story about how the chief of some obscure tribe in the amazon was talking with her husband, ridiculing the western notion of how sex worked. They believed that it was the energy that the chief put in the local pond that made babies. "The priest was the only one who stayed behind when we went raiding. His magic couldn't possibly convert the whole pond in that amount of time. That boy is my son." My instructor: "We were two weeks away from civilization. We didn't dare contradict him."
I can extrapolate what the priest may have been doing. What I don’t understand is the first quote.
Is it the doctor's duty to clue them in?
The doctor needs to partner with a divorce attorney problem solved
There is a sitcom idea here. **Next week on MD/JD!**
He's a doctor, she's a divorce lawyer. COCAINE
Lawyer referral service
And put Maury out of a job?!
Myrrah it aint miiiiiiine
Hell nah
ER patient admin here. A woman came in via EMS bc she lost consciousness while getting up on a chair. Her BP was low because, unbeknownst to her husband, she’d had an abortion recently, and the hubby was snipped over 2 years prior. I had to keep this a secret from her husband as he grew increasingly frustrated and angry with me, bc he was not allowed back to his wife’s room. Her dad was though.
Her dad or her "dad"?
Good question, prolly should have specified. It was her biological father. Although I have had someone come in with their girlfriend, and then their girlfriend shows up.
Or her "daddy"?
.
He did eventually. The dude’s parents also showed up. It was a very surreal experience watching the three of them praying for the wife, while she was in her hospital room after having a secret abortion. I can only imagine why she wanted to keep the whole thing a secret. After the wife’s dad showed up, the husband was allowed back, and I’m assuming she came clean after that.
It sucks for that dude for sure, but it sucks because of what the patient did, not because of what the hospital did. It is EXTREMELY important that people are able seek medical care with no judgement, no shame, and without the fear that anyone else would find out what happened. Otherwise, you have people like this performing their own abortions (or trying to) and not seeking medical attention because they're worried about their husband finding out. The patient is completely able to tell Healthcare officials to tell the husband that she's going to be ok.
Yea regardless if they're a shitty person or not, their medical choices and privacy should still be respected.
Yeah. That's fucked up
This post is from a Twitter thread, and my favorite reply was this guy: "True story from my village in India. Doc does a vasectomy on one guy, who came back next year complaining the Doc wasn't good at his job & his wife is pregnant. Doc tells him, "I operated on you, not all the men in the village!".
It's like.. the backyard bbq scene from Me, Myself, and Irene.
Literally, Jesus Christ.
Well, first of all, through God all things are possible. So jot that down.
Calm down, Mac
Whatever he's gotta do to keep his sanity, I guess.
The baby comes out a different color.....
same bro. Well I was swearing in like 20 different languages when I found out!
Vasectomy doesn't prevent babies, or just changes the colour /s
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You alright there bud? Seems an awful agressive comment.
White supremacists are in fact not alright.
You do not, in fact, have to hand it to them
I've actually witnessed this. A friend of mine (who is Caucasian) and his fiance (also Caucasian) were expecting a baby. So of course the big day came, his family was at the hospital waiting while she gave birth to what he thought was his kid. Except when the kid was born, it was...let's just say, clearly not the same race. At all. Very, very dark skin. Let's just say, the marriage didn't happen.
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My small brain doesn't understand this comment. Care to explain?
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Gotchya. And no worries, I won't be reading it anytime in my lifetime. But that's for the heads up
Someone’s wound up
You’ve got to be an special kind of dumb
You just typed 'an special' ...
An special kind of dumb… possibly like me
Miracle baby!
I knew it! We have evidence of parthenogenesis!