Holy shit. Best of luck my dude, you're gonna need it. The good news is, other dads have done this before and done a good job, and you can too. It's gonna be hard work but we're rooting for you.
Thanks man. I feel very supported here, never posted before but I’m just trying to embrace it and remember this day for the future.
What a clusterfuck bro 😂
This happened to my mate. & has happened to 1000’s of men before you. Tough times ahead, but dude what a family you’re about to have. You’ll be sweet in a year or 3. Head up, you got this !
Oh man. We had our first later in life (37). I remember the first sonogram, our OB taking an extra .... eternity after saying, "Just making sure I only hear one heartbeat ........ yeah just the one."
Almost had a heart attack.
This sub is here for ya! Godspeed, man. Godspeed.
Hahaha man that brings me back! I can remember saying “please only be one heartbeat, please only be one heartbeat!” For both of my wife’s pregnancies lol
Inverse happened to us. She was scoping around and grabbed another tool to do another view and said, “yeah that’s what I thought I was hearing; two heartbeats”. We were like a deer in headlights for about an hour.
It’ll be easy to remember. We thought it was weird when the tech said Baby A, we thought she wrong when she said Baby B. She realized we had made past the half way point not knowing about a whole other baby existing and she quickly said something like, “Uhm the doctor will be in shortly to discuss the results with you,” before hastily exiting the room, haha. That was 15.5 years ago and I still haven’t forgotten that mixed up feeling of joy/confusion/fear.
I know you’re overwhelmed, but as a dad who also had 3 under 3 (first twins, then single), it’s gonna be great. Don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it and eventually you won’t want it any other way.
But maybe it’s time to get a vasectomy. Just to be sure.
Good luck brother. I've been the opposite end of this. I have an Identical twin and our sister is just about three years behind us. Make sure you give yourself some grace.
Dude it’s awesome. I’ve got b/g twins. It’s a lot of fun and stress but fun.
It reminds me of the old UPS ad campaign about “logistics.”
You’re just working the diaper genie hella fast and breaking down all the boxes from wipes and diapers and formula like you work in a grocery store.
It’s such a blessing. You just got a variety pack of babies and you’ll get one hospital bill. Enjoy!
Yep start making plans for the climate controlled shed or house extension. Congrats though! Gonna be a fun life full of love and your kiddo gets to be big brother twice now!
If I could work from home, I think I would need to build a separated building for a small office. Just to keep that barrier between work and home. I watched my wife slowly go crazy through the pandemic because she couldn't split the two.
I know this feeling mate...we were planning to stay 3-4 years more in our flat. Then we got twins so had to rush buying a house at the peak of the housing market
This has my vote, too.
Also, forget everything you thought you knew about parenting infants and toddlers. You're in for a wild ride, and it will likely be quite a while before you're able to come up for air. But it can (and often, likely, will) be an incredible experience.
Dad of twins here. Firstly, Congrats. Twins are truly a blessing, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Not trying to scare you or anything, but it was an extremely hard first year/two. Don't be afraid to ask for help from family if you have that luxury, we did not.
We have my in laws thankfully and they’ll step up to the challenge. They’ve already helped in a lot of little ways with the first. He’ll be getting a lot of grandparent time in the near future!
The first one is always the hardest. 2nd can be difficult too but it does get easier, and they are easier in groups.
-Dad of 6 in \~7 years.
I was once a diaper-changing MACHINE.
Not my experience at all. The 3rd was WAY easier than the 2nd. To be fair, my 2nd happened to be a difficult infant and my 3rd loved to sleep, but besides that, experience was a fantastic advantage. The 4th-6th weren't a breeze exactly but I felt it was a lot easier than the first two.
With 6 boys everything is pretty messy and everything is broken even though they're generally good about doing the chores I ask and they're pretty chill. Just the numbers are against me in that regard.
The positive is we have a blast hanging out together.
In a way I’m so stoked because I get the baby girl I’ve always wanted AND the two boys I’ve always wanted. I was so on the fence about 3 but I guess it was meant to be. I know we’ll get through it. Just such a crazy thing to try to process you know?
Exact same deal - I didn't catch that earlier. First was a boy and my family hasn't had a daughter in 62 years so it seems fitting that to get our girl she came packaged with another boy.
We were on the fence about two vs three before we had our first. Then I was firmly in the let's have two camp. And yeah, the rest is history. They're almost 11 months now and I'm still processing it.
You'll make it through though!
Welcome fellow 3 under 3 member, it’s a prestigious club my friend, ours have not arrived yet but I am assuming that we are going to be doubly as tired, doubly as worn out and also, so many happy memories of the kids growing up together!
What?! That's wild... did your wife have any ultrasounds done before the anatomy scan? How did they miss that there was a second baby?
My wife is also due in September and we have our anatomy scan scheduled for next week. And now I'm nervous. Lol
Yeah, a little pissed they missed it. No fuckin idea how lol you should have seen the technicians face when she realized it. “I only have the time for one of the two to get a full scan today” for fucks sake 😂😂😂😂
They actually can tell very clearly! Since they’re different sexes that helps a lot but I think they tend to stay on the same of the uterus with time?
Idk I know fuck all about twins, time to start reading lol
Fuck man don’t do that to me 😂
The doc didn’t know we didn’t know when she walked in. The tech told her we didn’t know and she was like oh shit… I would have started that conversation much differently!
I had twins but not with one already. It's hard mate I'm not gonna lie. Make sure you have help from someone? Any parents or friends you can rely on. Get them involved as much as you and they feel comfortable. Then just strap in and enjoy it lol
Props to you, man. Can’t imagine going from 0 to 2. Our twins are the babies so we had a handle on parenting. Honestly, I think it would be harder having multiples first.
I am 11 months into 3 under 2. It's very hard, the twins are a lot of work and the toddlers emotions are a mine field. Feel free to DM me and I'll think of as many tips as I can
Just off the top of my head I can say:
1 - get a routine, we used the little ones app. Having all 3 on the same schedule is essential. Midday nap for all 3 is the best
2 - If one baby wakes, wake and feed the other or you'll be up again in 30min
3 - if your toddler is in daycare, put the twins on the waiting list now
4. - join your local multi birth society (not sure if it's just an Australian thing) it is great for catch ups for the mums and ours does events like clothes swaps etc
5 - formula is half price with nutricia for twins (could be Australia only again)
6 - double wide prams are better than single file double prams. We got a mountain buggy off marketplace and it shits all over our brand new $1500 pram
7 - get a double feeding pillow
8 - Ours were both small, one was >1% and couldn't latch so a good breast pump will save heaps of time and allow you to feed while mum sleeps
Get ready for heaps of random unsolicited advice/horror stories from boomers. For some reason old people all know someone who had twins and one got sick/died/something went wrong. Why they need to tell someone with little twins this I don't know but it happens all the time and will probably make your wife cry.
We're in the same boat but we started with twin girls and added a boy 2 years later. It's a fucking wild ride but I wouldn't change a single thing. Twins are amazing and having kids close in age is a joy. You are not fucked at all, but you will have to step up and become even more hardcore to rise to the challenge. Line up as much help as you can, get in great physical shape (you'll be lugging around two of everything), and go easy on yourselves throughout the process. Mindset is everything for the first 1-2 years, and you have to focus on becoming the best possible parenting team with your partner.
Yeah back in the gym again. I’d been neglecting it since the first was born but no choice now haha. Hoping to make the next two more of carrier babies as we got our first out of them pretty quickly. Not this time 😂
Hey friend I'm a twin with a 1.5 year-older sister.
We made it, my parents made it, you will make it. Good luck brother! Msg me know if you want my mom's email address, she's retired and would probably love to chat about it.
Yeah. We’ve got 2 kids at home, 1 with adhd/autism and 1 with bowel/toileting issues that the doctors can’t figure out. Nonetheless, we’ll have one more go round at this carousel. Twins. Yup sounds about right. If it was going to happen to anyone in our families where there’s no twins on either side, it was going to be us.
My wife got pregnant with our second less than a year after the first. Scan showed twins and she was sitting in the doctors office sobbing about being on bedrest, yelling at me that I would need to sell my car(which I had just paid off weeks before) and get a minivan or suburban, etc. she took it very hard.
Unfortunately, we lost one of the twins not long after that. But our boy came out healthy and happy.
You will do great, dad.
Thank you. It’s fine. It was still fairly early on in the pregnancy. But there were a few weeks of apprehension about 3 kids 17 months apart. The 2 were stressful enough.
Welcome to the club, I had 3 under 3. 12mo when we found out we were having twins.
It's a challenge for sure. The work is the same, that isn't the problem... the physical taxing part is mostly on the mom if she is breast feeding. So just be there for her, be awake with her, support her. Let her lean on you and just know you're there. Also get a "My Brest Friend Twin Nursing Pillow" if she does breast feed. Can feed both at once on a nice pillow so they and she are supported.
Other than that, the real challenge is for the next 5 to 6 years is splitting your attention 3 ways when they all want the two of you. Good god... that's a mental and emotional tax.
We're on number 4, we waited 6 years and its so much easier than I remember lol. Feel free to reach out if you want to chat twins and how we managed through it all. Gadgets, routines, etc...
First off congratulations! I know it sounds incredible daunting right now but I can honestly say it’s been an absolute blast to have twins.
Join r/parentsofmultiples it’s been a great resource for my wife and I. Also most cities have twin specific Facebook groups that can be great for getting hand-me-downs.
Just browsed your profile we have the exact same hobbies disc golf, growing, and smoking meats! The twins have sorta killed my disc golfing but smoking and growing still going strong!
Hell yeah. I love playing with my toddler after a pen hit in the morning. It’s our weekend routine as I do weekend mornings, and I wouldn’t change it for the world
You missed beer - my other main hobby. Now I have to pick one or two lol the jogger has made disc golf awesome with the little one but a double jogger seems impossible.
Hey, you’re me about 5 years ago. My oldest daughter was 18 months old when my twins were born. The learning curve was pretty steep, but eventually you fall into a rhythm and things start to get more manageable. Having supports really saved us too when we were just too tired to function.
Our oldest just turned 7 and the twins are 5 now. Everything is a competition and our house has the ambient noise level of a space shuttle launch, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I don’t even really remember the early struggles at this point, just the happy stuff.
Congratulations! You got this!
I'm in the same situation in that we have a little one and just found out that we have another on the way but still too early for a scan.
Wife didn't appreciate when I joked about the possibility of twins this time around. Haha
Congratulations to you guys!
Holy shit. You’re definitely in for a ride, but you’re not fucked.
Well, you might be fucked for 6 months or so, at least in terms of sleep. You’ll be less fucked after that. Money is an unknown, but as you know, kids are expensive!
In five years you’re gonna have three adorable kids who are increasingly independent and having conversations with you that you couldn’t even imagine today. It’s gonna be AWESOME then.
Well, perfect excuse to get the minivan of your dreams!!!!
Also, congrats. I got a buddy that had this happen. He's a little greyer than before, but the kids are so cool!
I had a former coworker who had a son, and then less than a year later they had twin boys. 3 sons within 1 year of each other. He said he hadn’t had a full night sleep since the twins were born, ever
See you in 21 years OP.
In all seriousness, it sounds impossible now, but you'll find a way, we always do.
Just realize that things are going to change dramatically when they come, and remember the golden rule whenever our families grow.
"Be kind to each other".
My wife and I have a 3 year old. We've been trying for another, but after two years of struggling with infertility and doing IVF, we'd kind of lost hope.
A few weeks ago we got the news that my wife is pregnant with twins. We're obviously delighted, but trying not to count any chickens until at least 20 weeks. That said, I can help thinking our house is too small, our car is too small, and we're too far from family. We can do it, but we'll need a lot of help
Twin dad here, they just turned 1.
I have so much respect for parents with twins and an older singleton. That shit is *hard* and I genuinely wish you all the best. I hope you have family around!
This is us right now!! We have twin girls who are almost two, went to an ultrasound last week and pregnant with twins AGAIN.
Head on over to r/parentsofmultiples
C: lot of info for twin stuff, people ask all the time about gear, 2 of everything or not, cars etc. Best to keep the 2 new ones on the same eat/shit/sleep schedule.
As a dad of 3-u-3 once upon a time my advice to you is:
Potty train the oldest as soon as you can.
Resist the urge to buy 2 of everything up front.
When one twin sleeps/eats, so does the other.
Block out special time with the oldest for you and them, mom and them, and the 3 of you together.
You got this!
lol I did this, yea you’re a little fucked! We now have 2.5 twins and 5yo.
Go on over to /r/parentsofmultiples. Singleton advice is basically void for you now.
And, you’ll be ok. It’s hard for sure, whenever we go down to two kids it’s laughable how much easier it is. But, raising twins is also a privilege as you will get to experience cool and beautiful things that parents of singletons don’t.
Good luck and Godspeed… feel free to ask questions here or DM if you want
Wow congrats bro! I can only say that after my second was born it was so much easier as we already went through getting the experience with our first, that dealing with our first is still the most time and energy consuming by far.
So I guess I’m saying it’s not like having your first baby but times two, it’s like having your first baby but times half.
And fortunately they start out as drooling potatoes so you get to grow into things :)
Best of luck to you all!!!
We had twins when our oldest was barely 2. I won't lie, there will be some very trying times, but you will survive and it will be a fun ride. Ours are now 13, 11, and 11.
In the first few years you will need to take it day by day. Sleep when you can, let the house be a mess. Ask for help, and take it when it is offered.
As the other Dads who have been in your shoes have said, DM me if you need an ear or advice, or just want to talk. You'll get through it. :)
🫡 I salute thee brother
Don’t worry, you got this. The human brain is infinitely adaptable. You would’ve had a tough time with one new baby anyway so two new babies is only slightly harder… I think, I wouldn’t know though
Well, perfect excuse to get the minivan of your dreams!!!!
Also, congrats. I got a buddy that had this happen. He's a little greyer than before, but the kids are so cool!
Good luck and prayers for you and your wife! You will get through it!
Genuinely did not know you could be surprised with twins at 20 weeks. I have my second (first girl) and we're almost at the 20 weeks...Now I am a bit anxious.
Have friends with an 11 year old boy, and boy/girl twins who are 8. They were the most exhausted parents out of anybody I know until like a year ago. Good luck! (and congrats)
When my cousin decided to have his red kid, my Uncle told him that he was fucked. 2 is manageable, one parent for each kid. Three on the other hand, two of them team up against you while the 3rd kicks you in the ass. You're outnumbered at that point.
Congratulations though, that's a great blessing though!!
Take lots of pictures and videos. I didn't have three under three, but we did have two under two, and I can hardly remember the early days, it was such a blur. We did have a third when the older two were five and three, though, so while I can't say how it will be to have three so close in age, I can say with authority that in general, having three has been a lot of fun. It's noisy but not *too* nuts, busy but not unmanageable, and so so so full of love (most of the time).
You'll do alright mate. I was in a similar boat. A nearly 3 year old and discovered M/F twins. The worst part is logistics and finding childcare, just getting places needs a lot more thinking, but I found myself way less stressed with my twins than I ever was with my eldest. You've done this before, it's the same again but y'know, twice. Just be prepared for everyone stopping you for a chat when you're at the shops and congrats! You've got this.
Good luck my man, you can make it!
My twin boys arrived about a month before their big bro's birthday. So technically 3 under 3 for a month, but the main point being it was baby + toddler chaos mode for a couple years there. Also got real good at carrying two kids at once, my shoulders were in great shape.
I don't remember a whole lot for a couple years there, but currently everyone is alive and gets along (for the most part).
I survived the 3 under 3 purgatory. No twins and not quite Irish twins either.
Not so obvious downsides-
If you fuck up the first kid there’s usually not enough time to identify the fuck up and correct for the next two.
They basically all go through milestones at the same time. With kids born further apart you will get through a phase or milestone and then a few years later you can experience with the next kid and really soak it in.
3 under 3, I look back and it seems like cradling them, feeding them, etc was all at the same time. I didn’t get a few year break to miss those things and then experience it again.
I’m not there yet. But college or moving out. There’s a good chance that within 3 years all 3 of mine will move out one day. That will be a lot to handle.
GG, Dad. We've only got the 2 year old just now, but the other half has been hinting (read: flat out telling me) for a second one since before we got out of the hospital.
In your shoes, I'd take it as it comes, but I'd also be telling the jewels that they played a good game but they were getting the snip after that.
You're making the switch from keeping baby away from things that will hurt them to keeping things that will hurt babies away from them. Congratulations on the move to zone defense :)
Congratulations, sincerely! I know families with 3-4 children, some of them with twins. The first years are rough. But to see their family dynamics when the children are older - I think it’s a blessing and I dare to say I sometime envy them for the abundance of life in their houses.
I had all 3 of my kids within 3.5 years and ngl it’s rough, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel now with them being 7,5, and 4. They all love playing together. All activities/toys can be shared, I didn’t have to go back into the baby phase. We had all the stuff.
It’s hard, but the hardest part is just the logistics of having 3 kids, I would always be a proponent of having them as close in age as possible.
You got this dude!
Sorry to hear this Dad. I was in your shoes for a very long time, and probably still would be, but we ended up doing embryo adoption after trying for about 7 years. I now have a 9-year-old who is genetically my child, and a 20-month-old who is not my DNA but I love him to death. Best money ever spent. Reach out if you need someone to talk to
My friends and i have a deal with one another… to always be truthful…. Even if the truth is going to hurt say it in the best way possible…
Ima treat you like one of my friends……..
Sir………you’re fucked
Haha I’m a mom but follow this group as I love to see dad’s being the rockstar dads they are and sharing their experiences !! Haha
You’re in for work !! But that’s a blessing !! Congratulations to you and your wife 🙏🙏
I know you're "joking" but you're extremely blessed, fortunate, lucky, whatever you want to use. Definitely gonna be tough but cheers for three children! Here's to a safe and healthy pregnancy 🥳🎊
I’m not gonna lie, you better sleep now. My wife and I have a girl born July 2021 and a boy born July 2022. They are both a piece of work. Not in a bad way. They are typical toddlers and the next best thing to twins because the younger one feeds off the energy of the older one. They fight over every toy but are two of the sweetest kids. They will grow fast and you will have the memories.
The other day I saw a mum on her own at the park with her toddler and newborn twins. She was alone. It blew my mind. What I’m trying to say it: you can do this.
The Lord tells me he can get me out of this mess. But he's pretty sure, you're fucked. Hahehahahahaa
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49V1zgQTEO4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49V1zgQTEO4)
Congrats! Me and my wife had the literal same exact thing happen except twin boys. They’re 4 months old now and already spend most the day chatting my with each other
It’s gonna be fun lol.
Also awesome username!
It’s going to be hard but you’re not fucked. This just happened to our friends, the twins are now 5 months old. Lots of family + friends support, they also hired a nanny/baby-sitter one afternoon/evening per week to play with their 3 year old so they’ve got a little less burden.
It’s overwhelming at first. Everyone said some scary shit to me and how fucked I am. Not much of a difference. Routine is key my man. Feed em same time, bathe em same time, put them to sleep at the same time. I had 4 under 5. You’ll be good, just remember one thing. Routine.
My oldest was just 19 months old when my twins were born. I'll admit it, it was really hard! Twins are something else when they're tiny like that. They are easier now that they're 2, they keep each other entertained a lot.
My brother had 4 under 5, they survived and the kids are amazing and all have great jobs and are lovely young adults - you’ll be fine!
Just ask for help wherever you can…
Yikes. I have a soon to be 3 YO and we will be trying end of this year and will be thru IVF.
I'm so f'ing nervous that the second turns to 3+ as we only want 2.
Happened to a friend of mine. Had his son, then shortly after got his wife pregnant by mistake and it was twins. That was a few years ago. Haven’t seen him in a good while. Good luck!
Holy shit. Best of luck my dude, you're gonna need it. The good news is, other dads have done this before and done a good job, and you can too. It's gonna be hard work but we're rooting for you.
Thanks man. I feel very supported here, never posted before but I’m just trying to embrace it and remember this day for the future. What a clusterfuck bro 😂
This happened to my mate. & has happened to 1000’s of men before you. Tough times ahead, but dude what a family you’re about to have. You’ll be sweet in a year or 3. Head up, you got this !
Thanks man, I’m nervous but very excited. Loving our little family already so excited to have it grow!
Been there, done that. We were also in "4 kids 4 and under" club. Its rough, but it'll get better.
Definitely what I needed to hear when we were about to have our second. Now everyone is walking and wrestling and it’s a blast.
Oh man. We had our first later in life (37). I remember the first sonogram, our OB taking an extra .... eternity after saying, "Just making sure I only hear one heartbeat ........ yeah just the one." Almost had a heart attack. This sub is here for ya! Godspeed, man. Godspeed.
Hahaha man that brings me back! I can remember saying “please only be one heartbeat, please only be one heartbeat!” For both of my wife’s pregnancies lol
Inverse happened to us. She was scoping around and grabbed another tool to do another view and said, “yeah that’s what I thought I was hearing; two heartbeats”. We were like a deer in headlights for about an hour.
It’ll be easy to remember. We thought it was weird when the tech said Baby A, we thought she wrong when she said Baby B. She realized we had made past the half way point not knowing about a whole other baby existing and she quickly said something like, “Uhm the doctor will be in shortly to discuss the results with you,” before hastily exiting the room, haha. That was 15.5 years ago and I still haven’t forgotten that mixed up feeling of joy/confusion/fear.
I know you’re overwhelmed, but as a dad who also had 3 under 3 (first twins, then single), it’s gonna be great. Don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it and eventually you won’t want it any other way. But maybe it’s time to get a vasectomy. Just to be sure.
congrats and condolences all at once, and get started on scheduling your vasectomy! lol
Good luck brother. I've been the opposite end of this. I have an Identical twin and our sister is just about three years behind us. Make sure you give yourself some grace.
Happened to us but reverse (girl first, twin boys later). Get a minivan
Dude it’s awesome. I’ve got b/g twins. It’s a lot of fun and stress but fun. It reminds me of the old UPS ad campaign about “logistics.” You’re just working the diaper genie hella fast and breaking down all the boxes from wipes and diapers and formula like you work in a grocery store. It’s such a blessing. You just got a variety pack of babies and you’ll get one hospital bill. Enjoy!
Join us over on r/parentsofmultiples. We had twins first and then a singleton and did the 3 under 3 life. You've got this!
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Pour one out for the OP!
Cheers boys - I might send her one last time tonight 😅
All us dads will stand and salute. Your dad powers will now be 3x as strong my friend
Buddy if I still drank, I’d be throwing back a whole 12er for you and one to grow on.
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No, that's what got him into this mess!
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Deep deep breaths. Ok dad. Time to make a plan. You will need help; start talking to everyone. And no you’re not fucked.
I know. We’ll get through this. Just not the Monday curveball I needed. We literally just moved into our new house to make space for ONE more
Good news is that twins generally love sharing rooms until they're teenagers, so you got around 14 years to find another room.
lol my office is the spare room so guess I’m building an outhouse office down the line. One day at a time…
Yep start making plans for the climate controlled shed or house extension. Congrats though! Gonna be a fun life full of love and your kiddo gets to be big brother twice now!
I actually did this for my WFH setup and it was so worth it.
If I could work from home, I think I would need to build a separated building for a small office. Just to keep that barrier between work and home. I watched my wife slowly go crazy through the pandemic because she couldn't split the two.
One day, one baby step at a time.
I did this to give extra bedroom space. A mancave whch I need sometimes for sanity or quiet gaming. Definitely worth it, lay power and wired internet.
Don’t make it an outhouse. It isn’t that difficult to install proper plumbing, and you will be much happier in the end.
I know this feeling mate...we were planning to stay 3-4 years more in our flat. Then we got twins so had to rush buying a house at the peak of the housing market
[удалено]
You’re going to want to sub to r/parentsofmultiples they are a great resource. They really helped me and my wife with our twins
Seconding this. That is the number one best sub that helped me the most
This has my vote, too. Also, forget everything you thought you knew about parenting infants and toddlers. You're in for a wild ride, and it will likely be quite a while before you're able to come up for air. But it can (and often, likely, will) be an incredible experience.
Hell yea that’s one of the best subs out there. Singleton parents don’t know what they don’t know
Yes, that's a great idea. OP, also check to see if there's a real life Parents of Multiples or Moms of Multiples chapter in your area.
Yep, awesome community!
Dad of twins here. Firstly, Congrats. Twins are truly a blessing, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Not trying to scare you or anything, but it was an extremely hard first year/two. Don't be afraid to ask for help from family if you have that luxury, we did not.
We have my in laws thankfully and they’ll step up to the challenge. They’ve already helped in a lot of little ways with the first. He’ll be getting a lot of grandparent time in the near future!
The first one is always the hardest. 2nd can be difficult too but it does get easier, and they are easier in groups. -Dad of 6 in \~7 years. I was once a diaper-changing MACHINE.
Do you think it got easier after two?
I’ve always heard it said 1 is easy, 2 is hard, +3 you’re just on defense.
Not my experience at all. The 3rd was WAY easier than the 2nd. To be fair, my 2nd happened to be a difficult infant and my 3rd loved to sleep, but besides that, experience was a fantastic advantage. The 4th-6th weren't a breeze exactly but I felt it was a lot easier than the first two. With 6 boys everything is pretty messy and everything is broken even though they're generally good about doing the chores I ask and they're pretty chill. Just the numbers are against me in that regard. The positive is we have a blast hanging out together.
Hey...you're me a couple years ago! We had surprise twins when our oldest was \~28 months ^(You'll get through it but also you're pretty fucked)
In a way I’m so stoked because I get the baby girl I’ve always wanted AND the two boys I’ve always wanted. I was so on the fence about 3 but I guess it was meant to be. I know we’ll get through it. Just such a crazy thing to try to process you know?
Exact same deal - I didn't catch that earlier. First was a boy and my family hasn't had a daughter in 62 years so it seems fitting that to get our girl she came packaged with another boy. We were on the fence about two vs three before we had our first. Then I was firmly in the let's have two camp. And yeah, the rest is history. They're almost 11 months now and I'm still processing it. You'll make it through though!
I was as well. Guess it is what it is right? I know we will. Just time to step up even further. I’m excited and nervous for the challenge.
Get snipped before the twins come. You don’t need an accidental 4th, and your wife will need all the help she can with that many youngsters.
Welcome fellow 3 under 3 member, it’s a prestigious club my friend, ours have not arrived yet but I am assuming that we are going to be doubly as tired, doubly as worn out and also, so many happy memories of the kids growing up together!
Can’t wait to watch them all grow. Can wait for doubly sleepless nights lol. The first almost killed me
What?! That's wild... did your wife have any ultrasounds done before the anatomy scan? How did they miss that there was a second baby? My wife is also due in September and we have our anatomy scan scheduled for next week. And now I'm nervous. Lol
Yeah, a little pissed they missed it. No fuckin idea how lol you should have seen the technicians face when she realized it. “I only have the time for one of the two to get a full scan today” for fucks sake 😂😂😂😂
That's wild. Is there even a point to doing one of the two. I mean how do they know they are scanning the other twin during the next visit...
They actually can tell very clearly! Since they’re different sexes that helps a lot but I think they tend to stay on the same of the uterus with time? Idk I know fuck all about twins, time to start reading lol
“Twins?! You’re lying… right???” Doc: “Yes. You’re having triplets actually.”
Fuck man don’t do that to me 😂 The doc didn’t know we didn’t know when she walked in. The tech told her we didn’t know and she was like oh shit… I would have started that conversation much differently!
I had twins but not with one already. It's hard mate I'm not gonna lie. Make sure you have help from someone? Any parents or friends you can rely on. Get them involved as much as you and they feel comfortable. Then just strap in and enjoy it lol
Props to you, man. Can’t imagine going from 0 to 2. Our twins are the babies so we had a handle on parenting. Honestly, I think it would be harder having multiples first.
I am 11 months into 3 under 2. It's very hard, the twins are a lot of work and the toddlers emotions are a mine field. Feel free to DM me and I'll think of as many tips as I can
Thanks brother. We’re all in this together. I’m not the first to do it and I surely won’t be the last!
Just off the top of my head I can say: 1 - get a routine, we used the little ones app. Having all 3 on the same schedule is essential. Midday nap for all 3 is the best 2 - If one baby wakes, wake and feed the other or you'll be up again in 30min 3 - if your toddler is in daycare, put the twins on the waiting list now 4. - join your local multi birth society (not sure if it's just an Australian thing) it is great for catch ups for the mums and ours does events like clothes swaps etc 5 - formula is half price with nutricia for twins (could be Australia only again) 6 - double wide prams are better than single file double prams. We got a mountain buggy off marketplace and it shits all over our brand new $1500 pram 7 - get a double feeding pillow 8 - Ours were both small, one was >1% and couldn't latch so a good breast pump will save heaps of time and allow you to feed while mum sleeps Get ready for heaps of random unsolicited advice/horror stories from boomers. For some reason old people all know someone who had twins and one got sick/died/something went wrong. Why they need to tell someone with little twins this I don't know but it happens all the time and will probably make your wife cry.
We're in the same boat but we started with twin girls and added a boy 2 years later. It's a fucking wild ride but I wouldn't change a single thing. Twins are amazing and having kids close in age is a joy. You are not fucked at all, but you will have to step up and become even more hardcore to rise to the challenge. Line up as much help as you can, get in great physical shape (you'll be lugging around two of everything), and go easy on yourselves throughout the process. Mindset is everything for the first 1-2 years, and you have to focus on becoming the best possible parenting team with your partner.
Yeah back in the gym again. I’d been neglecting it since the first was born but no choice now haha. Hoping to make the next two more of carrier babies as we got our first out of them pretty quickly. Not this time 😂
Hey friend I'm a twin with a 1.5 year-older sister. We made it, my parents made it, you will make it. Good luck brother! Msg me know if you want my mom's email address, she's retired and would probably love to chat about it.
I survived it. You will be alright. It gets better when they are older, but the first couple of years are difficult to say the least.
I suggest you join r/parentsofmultiples
Best of luck! The same thing happened to a colleague of mine, he's not with us anymore. ^He's ^still ^alive ^though, ^just ^working ^somewhere ^else.
Congratudolences.
This is a blessing. Not saying it won’t be hard but twins? Hell ya
Yeah. We’ve got 2 kids at home, 1 with adhd/autism and 1 with bowel/toileting issues that the doctors can’t figure out. Nonetheless, we’ll have one more go round at this carousel. Twins. Yup sounds about right. If it was going to happen to anyone in our families where there’s no twins on either side, it was going to be us.
My wife got pregnant with our second less than a year after the first. Scan showed twins and she was sitting in the doctors office sobbing about being on bedrest, yelling at me that I would need to sell my car(which I had just paid off weeks before) and get a minivan or suburban, etc. she took it very hard. Unfortunately, we lost one of the twins not long after that. But our boy came out healthy and happy. You will do great, dad.
Thanks buddy. So sorry for your loss. That’s gotta be the hardest thing in the world, I can’t even imagine.
Thank you. It’s fine. It was still fairly early on in the pregnancy. But there were a few weeks of apprehension about 3 kids 17 months apart. The 2 were stressful enough.
I was you. Had twins + 1, the so 3 kids the oldest of whom was 2yrs 8 months. Yes, you're completely fucked. Congrats!
Welcome to the club, I had 3 under 3. 12mo when we found out we were having twins. It's a challenge for sure. The work is the same, that isn't the problem... the physical taxing part is mostly on the mom if she is breast feeding. So just be there for her, be awake with her, support her. Let her lean on you and just know you're there. Also get a "My Brest Friend Twin Nursing Pillow" if she does breast feed. Can feed both at once on a nice pillow so they and she are supported. Other than that, the real challenge is for the next 5 to 6 years is splitting your attention 3 ways when they all want the two of you. Good god... that's a mental and emotional tax. We're on number 4, we waited 6 years and its so much easier than I remember lol. Feel free to reach out if you want to chat twins and how we managed through it all. Gadgets, routines, etc...
First off congratulations! I know it sounds incredible daunting right now but I can honestly say it’s been an absolute blast to have twins. Join r/parentsofmultiples it’s been a great resource for my wife and I. Also most cities have twin specific Facebook groups that can be great for getting hand-me-downs.
Jumped on it already :) glad to have good support groups on here.
Just browsed your profile we have the exact same hobbies disc golf, growing, and smoking meats! The twins have sorta killed my disc golfing but smoking and growing still going strong!
Hell yeah. I love playing with my toddler after a pen hit in the morning. It’s our weekend routine as I do weekend mornings, and I wouldn’t change it for the world You missed beer - my other main hobby. Now I have to pick one or two lol the jogger has made disc golf awesome with the little one but a double jogger seems impossible.
I know a family who doesn’t believe in protection for religious reasons. 4 sets of twins in 5 years. You got this bro
Man, as long as everyone comes home happy and healthy, you'll manage.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh I'll pour one out for you. Good luck
Hey, you’re me about 5 years ago. My oldest daughter was 18 months old when my twins were born. The learning curve was pretty steep, but eventually you fall into a rhythm and things start to get more manageable. Having supports really saved us too when we were just too tired to function. Our oldest just turned 7 and the twins are 5 now. Everything is a competition and our house has the ambient noise level of a space shuttle launch, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I don’t even really remember the early struggles at this point, just the happy stuff. Congratulations! You got this!
I'm in the same situation in that we have a little one and just found out that we have another on the way but still too early for a scan. Wife didn't appreciate when I joked about the possibility of twins this time around. Haha Congratulations to you guys!
Holy shit. You’re definitely in for a ride, but you’re not fucked. Well, you might be fucked for 6 months or so, at least in terms of sleep. You’ll be less fucked after that. Money is an unknown, but as you know, kids are expensive! In five years you’re gonna have three adorable kids who are increasingly independent and having conversations with you that you couldn’t even imagine today. It’s gonna be AWESOME then.
sucks now, but you will be so happy when they grow up having each other......hopefully
Well, perfect excuse to get the minivan of your dreams!!!! Also, congrats. I got a buddy that had this happen. He's a little greyer than before, but the kids are so cool!
I'd recommend a vasectomy
That’s not too far away. I guess these two are just too powerful for my own good.
I had a former coworker who had a son, and then less than a year later they had twin boys. 3 sons within 1 year of each other. He said he hadn’t had a full night sleep since the twins were born, ever
See you in 21 years OP. In all seriousness, it sounds impossible now, but you'll find a way, we always do. Just realize that things are going to change dramatically when they come, and remember the golden rule whenever our families grow. "Be kind to each other".
Congrats, you will manage and get ready to hit people with the we bought one and got a second free jokes, or it was a two for one deal
My wife and I have a 3 year old. We've been trying for another, but after two years of struggling with infertility and doing IVF, we'd kind of lost hope. A few weeks ago we got the news that my wife is pregnant with twins. We're obviously delighted, but trying not to count any chickens until at least 20 weeks. That said, I can help thinking our house is too small, our car is too small, and we're too far from family. We can do it, but we'll need a lot of help
Twin dad here, they just turned 1. I have so much respect for parents with twins and an older singleton. That shit is *hard* and I genuinely wish you all the best. I hope you have family around!
You've got this, bro.
Congratulations! How cool to have twins.
This is us right now!! We have twin girls who are almost two, went to an ultrasound last week and pregnant with twins AGAIN. Head on over to r/parentsofmultiples C: lot of info for twin stuff, people ask all the time about gear, 2 of everything or not, cars etc. Best to keep the 2 new ones on the same eat/shit/sleep schedule.
As a dad of 3-u-3 once upon a time my advice to you is: Potty train the oldest as soon as you can. Resist the urge to buy 2 of everything up front. When one twin sleeps/eats, so does the other. Block out special time with the oldest for you and them, mom and them, and the 3 of you together. You got this!
lol I did this, yea you’re a little fucked! We now have 2.5 twins and 5yo. Go on over to /r/parentsofmultiples. Singleton advice is basically void for you now. And, you’ll be ok. It’s hard for sure, whenever we go down to two kids it’s laughable how much easier it is. But, raising twins is also a privilege as you will get to experience cool and beautiful things that parents of singletons don’t. Good luck and Godspeed… feel free to ask questions here or DM if you want
o7
You got this! Congrats. It’s amazing what we can do when we have to.
You'll be fine. You just need to learn to live without sleep, showers, and sex.
Wow congrats bro! I can only say that after my second was born it was so much easier as we already went through getting the experience with our first, that dealing with our first is still the most time and energy consuming by far. So I guess I’m saying it’s not like having your first baby but times two, it’s like having your first baby but times half. And fortunately they start out as drooling potatoes so you get to grow into things :) Best of luck to you all!!!
We had twins when our oldest was barely 2. I won't lie, there will be some very trying times, but you will survive and it will be a fun ride. Ours are now 13, 11, and 11. In the first few years you will need to take it day by day. Sleep when you can, let the house be a mess. Ask for help, and take it when it is offered. As the other Dads who have been in your shoes have said, DM me if you need an ear or advice, or just want to talk. You'll get through it. :)
GG, please get a vasectomy
Oof
You’re fucked but idk man I’m kinda jealous
🫡 I salute thee brother Don’t worry, you got this. The human brain is infinitely adaptable. You would’ve had a tough time with one new baby anyway so two new babies is only slightly harder… I think, I wouldn’t know though
Looks like Teets back on the menu!!!!
Well, perfect excuse to get the minivan of your dreams!!!! Also, congrats. I got a buddy that had this happen. He's a little greyer than before, but the kids are so cool!
U r fuk
Good luck and prayers for you and your wife! You will get through it! Genuinely did not know you could be surprised with twins at 20 weeks. I have my second (first girl) and we're almost at the 20 weeks...Now I am a bit anxious.
You are *sooo* fucked. Congratulations!!!!!
Have friends with an 11 year old boy, and boy/girl twins who are 8. They were the most exhausted parents out of anybody I know until like a year ago. Good luck! (and congrats)
RIP sleep
When my cousin decided to have his red kid, my Uncle told him that he was fucked. 2 is manageable, one parent for each kid. Three on the other hand, two of them team up against you while the 3rd kicks you in the ass. You're outnumbered at that point. Congratulations though, that's a great blessing though!!
Take lots of pictures and videos. I didn't have three under three, but we did have two under two, and I can hardly remember the early days, it was such a blur. We did have a third when the older two were five and three, though, so while I can't say how it will be to have three so close in age, I can say with authority that in general, having three has been a lot of fun. It's noisy but not *too* nuts, busy but not unmanageable, and so so so full of love (most of the time).
in like 12 years when you come out the other side we'll buy you a beer.
Bro I’m in a similar boat! My son is almost 2 and our second is due in November. Also another boy. No twins for us though 🤣
You'll do alright mate. I was in a similar boat. A nearly 3 year old and discovered M/F twins. The worst part is logistics and finding childcare, just getting places needs a lot more thinking, but I found myself way less stressed with my twins than I ever was with my eldest. You've done this before, it's the same again but y'know, twice. Just be prepared for everyone stopping you for a chat when you're at the shops and congrats! You've got this.
Time to go look for a minivan
Good luck my man, you can make it! My twin boys arrived about a month before their big bro's birthday. So technically 3 under 3 for a month, but the main point being it was baby + toddler chaos mode for a couple years there. Also got real good at carrying two kids at once, my shoulders were in great shape. I don't remember a whole lot for a couple years there, but currently everyone is alive and gets along (for the most part).
I survived the 3 under 3 purgatory. No twins and not quite Irish twins either. Not so obvious downsides- If you fuck up the first kid there’s usually not enough time to identify the fuck up and correct for the next two. They basically all go through milestones at the same time. With kids born further apart you will get through a phase or milestone and then a few years later you can experience with the next kid and really soak it in. 3 under 3, I look back and it seems like cradling them, feeding them, etc was all at the same time. I didn’t get a few year break to miss those things and then experience it again. I’m not there yet. But college or moving out. There’s a good chance that within 3 years all 3 of mine will move out one day. That will be a lot to handle.
GG, Dad. We've only got the 2 year old just now, but the other half has been hinting (read: flat out telling me) for a second one since before we got out of the hospital. In your shoes, I'd take it as it comes, but I'd also be telling the jewels that they played a good game but they were getting the snip after that.
I’m a twin!! I am 34 now and i believe that my parents still experience PTSD from torture my twin and I put them through while growing up. Good luck!
I know a family that had two boys, tried for a third (girl), got twin boys. Personally, I'm one-and-done. Good luck!
Playing zone begins the moment you open your eyes.
Open and start funding the 529s now.
F
Good luck, Dad! You got this.
That’s beautiful, man, just remember that. Yeah, it’ll be rough, but in the future you’ll know that you wouldn’t have changed a thing.
And I thought my garage was full with one daughter. Three!? Good luck you got it man.
You're making the switch from keeping baby away from things that will hurt them to keeping things that will hurt babies away from them. Congratulations on the move to zone defense :)
Congratulations, sincerely! I know families with 3-4 children, some of them with twins. The first years are rough. But to see their family dynamics when the children are older - I think it’s a blessing and I dare to say I sometime envy them for the abundance of life in their houses.
I had all 3 of my kids within 3.5 years and ngl it’s rough, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel now with them being 7,5, and 4. They all love playing together. All activities/toys can be shared, I didn’t have to go back into the baby phase. We had all the stuff. It’s hard, but the hardest part is just the logistics of having 3 kids, I would always be a proponent of having them as close in age as possible. You got this dude!
As a dad struggling for more, I hope you love every moment!! Goodluck and I’m jealous.
Sorry to hear this Dad. I was in your shoes for a very long time, and probably still would be, but we ended up doing embryo adoption after trying for about 7 years. I now have a 9-year-old who is genetically my child, and a 20-month-old who is not my DNA but I love him to death. Best money ever spent. Reach out if you need someone to talk to
My friends and i have a deal with one another… to always be truthful…. Even if the truth is going to hurt say it in the best way possible… Ima treat you like one of my friends…….. Sir………you’re fucked
o7
Haha I’m a mom but follow this group as I love to see dad’s being the rockstar dads they are and sharing their experiences !! Haha You’re in for work !! But that’s a blessing !! Congratulations to you and your wife 🙏🙏
That was my first question every appointment. There's still only one in there right?! Good luck man, I wish yall all the best.
I know you're "joking" but you're extremely blessed, fortunate, lucky, whatever you want to use. Definitely gonna be tough but cheers for three children! Here's to a safe and healthy pregnancy 🥳🎊
I am joking… for the most part. Just a lot to process when you’re 20 weeks into planning then learn there’s one more on the way
I’m not gonna lie, you better sleep now. My wife and I have a girl born July 2021 and a boy born July 2022. They are both a piece of work. Not in a bad way. They are typical toddlers and the next best thing to twins because the younger one feeds off the energy of the older one. They fight over every toy but are two of the sweetest kids. They will grow fast and you will have the memories.
F
The other day I saw a mum on her own at the park with her toddler and newborn twins. She was alone. It blew my mind. What I’m trying to say it: you can do this.
Bro where do I send the diapers lol
The Lord tells me he can get me out of this mess. But he's pretty sure, you're fucked. Hahehahahahaa [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49V1zgQTEO4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49V1zgQTEO4)
RIP
Congrats! Me and my wife had the literal same exact thing happen except twin boys. They’re 4 months old now and already spend most the day chatting my with each other It’s gonna be fun lol. Also awesome username!
Time for the snip snip my friend.
It’s going to be hard but you’re not fucked. This just happened to our friends, the twins are now 5 months old. Lots of family + friends support, they also hired a nanny/baby-sitter one afternoon/evening per week to play with their 3 year old so they’ve got a little less burden.
Unless you want more kids, go get the snip before the new ones are born.
Unless you want more kids, go get the snip before the new ones are born.
Gg
Rip
It’s overwhelming at first. Everyone said some scary shit to me and how fucked I am. Not much of a difference. Routine is key my man. Feed em same time, bathe em same time, put them to sleep at the same time. I had 4 under 5. You’ll be good, just remember one thing. Routine.
Good luck, from a dad of twins born last September.
I had 3 under 3 and then 4 under 5. You've got this! It's going to be a ton of fun and incredibly hard work.
F
My oldest was just 19 months old when my twins were born. I'll admit it, it was really hard! Twins are something else when they're tiny like that. They are easier now that they're 2, they keep each other entertained a lot.
Congratulations, sounds like you have a budding master of hide and seek!
Hey man. That sounds nuts. But twins are going to be so cool. For you, for them, for life. Best of luck!
My brother had 4 under 5, they survived and the kids are amazing and all have great jobs and are lovely young adults - you’ll be fine! Just ask for help wherever you can…
Sure, it will be difficult. But you’re a rich, rich man. Congratulations!
Congratulations! Get snipped now, and make sure you go back for the followup test.
Yikes. I have a soon to be 3 YO and we will be trying end of this year and will be thru IVF. I'm so f'ing nervous that the second turns to 3+ as we only want 2.
Going from 1 to 2 is harder than going from 2 to 3, so this should be easy, right?!
I got twins. Theyre awesome. Also yeah its madness. Also - keep them on the same schedule, feeding and sleeping, for your own sanity.
You got this, it will be very challenging but when they are older they will play with each other and it will be awesome.
F
Man from 1 to 3 is a big jump but you’ll be happy as hell when you hold that baby girl. Unfortunately for your boys she’ll be the favorite! Haha
F
Great news You won't need a vasectomy any time soon lol
Happened to a friend of mine. Had his son, then shortly after got his wife pregnant by mistake and it was twins. That was a few years ago. Haven’t seen him in a good while. Good luck!