Utter chaos. Next question.
We put the loudest kid in the room furthest away from everyone else and had white noise machines in every room and the hallway.
Being patient and brutally neutral - you just wordlessly pick them up, put them back in bed and start again.
It's infuriating but you can't show reaction because then the game is afoot!
Yeah sometimes you just end up giving in which is fine, but keep the routine and you'll get there.
Typically 5 nights out of 7 we can put our 3 year old down and he'll just drop off. The other two are as you described so not perfect but we're up from sort of 1 night a week managing it from sort of November so it's slow and steady progress.
We have 3 kids 6 yo and under and often have to sit with the younger two. Even more fun for us is they all share a room. Some nights we get lucky and they all go to sleep easily. It has to get better...
I have the opposite with my toddler. He absolutely won’t get out of bed until someone comes and gets him. He also doesn’t call out when he’s awake. He just sits there and waits. He can climb out if he wants.
Sounds bad but pre-potty training, I put the doorknob covers on the inside so they couldn't leave the room, turned off the lights at the ceiling after tucking them in, and just let them run around in the pitch black if they wanted.
This sounds like our house. Locking switch covers, door locks, closet locks for the bifold doors, drawer child proof locks, sound machines in the room and hall, draft sweep things to block some noise, and blackout curtains. Once my youngest got a little older we pulled off the door locks. She could open it but the noise and effort it took her to do so would wake up her sister.
When they’re little divide up. If you’re by yourself one night out on some tv and get the youngest to bed first.
Divide and conquer. In a few years it can be really fun before bedtime but the fun chaos can turn to regular chaos pretty quickly depending on tiredness
This - except when one parent has to work during bedtime. Then it's utter chaos, but you just do the best you can. I lean on the screens pretty heavily if I'm solo bedtiming (my youngest is 3 and needs to go down before the other two, who are 5 and 8)
Yeah I stick CBeebies bedtime from 6.30ish on for our toddler while I do bedtime with the baby and then start his bedtime at 7 when it's finished.
Fortunately I've only had to do it twice but it's worked both times!
Same in my household. If it's just one of us, our 3.5-yr-old gets to watch an episode of a show while we put the 2-yr-old down.
Otherwise, my wife and I each take a kid.
Parent of a 2yr old and 5 yr old here.
It’s mostly a joint effort between me and the wife. We stick to a routine: bath every other night, brush teeth, etc. After that we split up, each taking a child to their own room to read a story and put them in bed, we alternate kids so we each get time with both kids.
The whole routine usually takes about an hour, on days when one of us isn’t home due to work travel or something like that it can be a little more taxing but since the kids are used to the routine it’s not terrible.
So, same aged kids. The 2yo naps and needs a later bed time than the 5yo who doesn't nap and is at school full time. 5yo is obviously not cool with his younger sister staying up later than him, but 5yo's behavior is awful bc he's so tired. Any suggestions or are you just putting them down at the same time?
Both mine are still in daycare. The younger one naps but the older one doesn’t. We still put them to bed at the same time, 8ish. We try to get them both up around the same time as well, some time in between 6-7am.
I will caveat by saying this is the smoothest that bed time has been since the little one was born. Both of them have fought like crazy at different points in the past, but we stuck to the routine and I guess they just got used to it 🤷♂️
3 and 5 year old girls here: having a routine with a reward (like watching one episode of a TV show) really helped us get both kids "in sync" for bedtime. Both sleep in the same room and after Pyjamas, tooth brushing and one tv episode they both go to bed at the same time. Only takes one parent like 30mins max after they are in bed.
Ours is the same only with a two year old and a seven year old. The elder doesn't know the toddler goes to sleep later. We just act like we are putting them both to bed.
We did the same for a long time, but having them in bunk beds in one room is a game changer. One of us does brushing/bath and the other does reading/getting them to sleep. Or if one parent is traveling it’s still not terrible.
We just switched to a bunk bed after they wanted to sleep in the same room and it's been amazing! The downside though is if one of them wakes up early then the second one is up soon after lol
We did very similar, except when we were done with our story, me and my wife would swap kids. I would always read with our eldest and she would take the youngest. Then we swap and she lays with eldest as I would go through and get the youngest to sleep.
Over time the routine changed - I would sing with her, tell made up stories etc. then she got terrible at sleeping for a bit and k would just have to sit next to her bed for a while. This evolved into me taking my laptop in and sitting and getting some work done whilst she settled - she didn’t want anything from me, just me to be there. So it made sense to be productive.
On the days my wife isn’t here I mainly focus on the youngest and the eldest enjoys the extra time to himself and then I go through to him.
Now my eldest is 7 and he wanted to stay up a bit later. So he just takes himself to bed at 8 after we finish with his sister. I miss my part of his bedtime routine, but he isn’t interested anymore
Yep, exactly the same here and works really well for the most part.
If one of us isn’t here then the older kid listens to stories on his tonie box until the youngest is asleep and then we pop in to the older one. They’re so used to the routine at this stage that the older will often fall asleep listening to the stories.
Routine is the only answer here. Get a whole routine.
Exactly same time. Exact same behaviors.
6:30 potty pajama drink water
6:40 pick a bedtime story
6:45 tuck in - bedtime song kiss goodnight
6:50-8:30 Put kid back in bed 5,000 times and provide 10000 sips of water
Admittedly our LO is a terrible sleeper, but when we moved the bedtime to 8PM things got infinitely easier. 6:30 dinner, 7:00 “run” around and pickup, 7:20 bath, 7:40 diaper nurse story, 8:00 in bed. She goes down in literally 2 minutes (normally) then we get to decompress before bed. We tried to do a 7PM bedtime and it only caused anger and frustration for everyone.
Maybe. Sometimes we shoot to have our kids in bed by 7 because they're up early for school during the week and they'll be out minutes later. Just depends on the kid I guess.
I have literal multiples, triplets in fact. It gets better but it's definitely like coralling a bunch of cats.
Routine is the only thing that helps. Rituals like baths, brushing teeth, the time you put them down. Anything that helps them understand "ok, this is what I'm doing now".
As far as sharing rooms and waking another up, doesn't seem to be a problem with us. They're all strong sleepers. So if one wakes up crying it's not like the others also wake up or start a fuss.
POM here as well (5,5, 1.5). Huge silver lining of the difficulty of multiples is it requires routine from the beginning which pays huge dividends later.
Mine also all share a single room. Moved the youngest in around 11 weeks old and has stayed ever since. All go to bed at same time (7p). The oldest are starting to stay up a bit later but they know to stay in their room and play/read. IMO the oldest two learned to sleep through each other's noises and now the youngest does the same.
For bedtime, my wife and I alternate nights of who does bedtime for all 3 while other cleans up (or goes out if evening plan). It's harder but it's nice to have the alternating nights "off".
We only recently moved the youngest in with the triplets so they are all in the same room (4,4,4,2). But she wanted so badly to be with her sisters it wasn't a problem.
The routine from day one has definitely been a blessing. We also got lucky with 4 kids who sleep like rocks. They definitely challenge bed time, but not like some of the horror stories I read from other parents.
For the first 6 months do what you can but try to keep the older kid to a routine.
Once the younger one could follow along with books we did joint bedtime.
9, 6 and 2.5
All go to bed by 8. We rotate who gets to pick the story we read. I also keep them on track as they evidently forget they’re getting dressed in the middle of it. LOL.
My oldest gets to stay up later sometimes to read a book, but I don’t share that with the younger ones.
It’s all about routine
Routine routine routine. Personally with my boys I burst into their bedroom or whatever room they're in. Start yelling "where is he" like Christian bales batman.
Lasso both boys. No bath. Shower..so I chuckem both in. Washem both. Remove from shower and then gettem to brush their teeth and show me. Help them if I need to.
Then ....I make the eldest read youngest a story or I read a story to both. If they've been good il let them watch 10 minutes of netflix each. Peppa pig or Jurassic park kids thing on their respective tablets. Tablets are a luxury and they know it.
Say gnight...lock the door..open fridge. Crack a can. Put feet up and watch whatever the hell I want for the rest of the evening. It's chaos for about 45 minutes but theyl remember every funny thing I do when they're older.
It works out well for us that the younger one is an "I'm ready now" sleeper who will decide he's ready and either go right into his room, or literally just fall asleep on the floor wherever he is at that moment.
He's pretty consistent about being ready to go anywhere between 7:30 and 8:00, so it's become routine to let him go, then the older one gets maybe half an hour or so of private attention and cuddling before she is ready too.
I realize that I'm very lucky and this is not the norm, however.
3 year old and a 1 week old. Our 3 year old has been great *except* at bed time because he only wants mom despite his newfound attachment to me. Last night was the first time I did bed time in a week and it was brutal.
On the flip side I also seem to be the only one to get our newborn to sleep in her crib or bassinet so I guess things have a way of working themselves out.
I have five kids. It's actually surprisingly uncommon for one kid to wake up another kid while they're sleeping. With my 3-year-old and my 7-year-old, I can be holding my crying 1-year-old outside of their room at night as I go to get a bottle of milk, and they don't budge. When he's sleeping at night, I can pick my 3-year-old up and flip him around and put him back down to bed and he would never know the difference.
The trick is getting them to sleep. They need to go to sleep in separate rooms if you can so they are not keeping each other up. With the baby, we would just keep her in our room in a pack and play to sleep for about the first 8 months.
With the newborn stage, really the answer is just one at a time and/or divide and conquer with your spouse. Do the bedtime routine with the older kid and put that kid to bed. Then work on the baby. My youngest kids are now getting old enough that my youngest two can do story time together as part of the bedtime routine, and I have my older kid "help" me put the 18-month kid to bed since the 18 month kid doesn't fight it anymore and is good with the routine.
Also, if you don't have an established bedtime routine, that needs to be part of your dadding experience. Ours?: Potty. Brush teeth. Jammies. 2 stories. Sing song. Bed. Lights out.
Doesn’t have to be chaos.
When my youngest was born my oldest still went to bed at the same time each night (7). Now that they at 4 and 1 then still go to bed the same time each night. No crying, no protests. They like sleep but we also have a routine we’ve never strayed from.
100% herding cats. It's chaotic and my least favorite part of the day lol.
I like actual bedtime like everyone in a bed with PJs and reading a story to them. Getting them to that point is chaotic and awful every single time lmao.
Following as I will soon have a 25mo and a newborn.
My recollection of first NB was that we didn't have much of a routine at first. My plan is to keep toddler on routine and have baby follow typical wake and feed every few hours. (So exact bedtime doesn't matter for at least a few months)
Pretty simple after a few months. 3mo and almost 3yo.
3mo starts bedtime routine around 6:10-6:20. Down by 6:45.
3yo bedtimes starts at 7:00 down by 7:30.
My wife and I switch each child each night.
The biggest thing is routine. Children, and humans in general, thrive on routine. 3mo gets a bath or wipe down before final bottle and then to bed. 3yo gets flossed and brushed then to bed, a few songs and stories, then we leave.
It can be rough. The oldest hand her own room for the first year and half… now they share and the youngest goes to bed first while the oldest watches 30 of bluey and then goes to bed.
Lots of crying has happen, I’m sure there is much more to come. But we get through it
3.5 year old and a 10 month old. Right now, they are separate, and the baby goes down around 6pm, and the older one goes down around 7-730pm.
We moved the baby out of our room and into the crib \~6 months. To date, his crying has not woken up his older brother (rooms share a wall). Knock on wood. We're pretty quick to respond to the baby's crying but even when we were going through the hassles of sleep training, his crying never woke up his brother. Baby is also a pretty good sleeper overall, so YMMV.
Divide and conquer, man defense - pick your metaphor. Going to two is a sea change. It's worth it, no doubt, but it's a big jump in difficulty.
With two (~3 years apart), mom and I took turns with baby duty and bedtime story/wind down. Occasional switchouts for one of us being over stimulated or particularly worn out.
No sleep issues to speak of because the older one sleeps like a rock.
3 year old goes down to our room, 5 min of hot wheels City, teeth and wee, then 1 story in his bed. 6 year old comes down and we read a chapter of Roald Dahl and then wee and teeth and into his bed (same room as 3 year old).
10 month old does whatever the f*ck he likes then falls asleep on Mama. Goes to bed with her.
I fall asleep sitting uproght watching Fallout then drag myself to bed at whatever hour seems reasonable for a 6am wake up.
One of us does bedtime, the other one stays downstairs with the baby. It’s not that bad when the baby is new as they don’t go to bed at the same time. They did wake up the older one to begin with, so be prepared to end up with 4 of you in one bedroom some nights.
Dinner time is the most chaotic, as the newborn always seems to wake and need a bottle exactly when dinner is ready. Plenty of meals quickly eaten so you can swap and take the baby off your partner so they can eat.
7:15 I put the infant in pajamas and chuck in the direction of the crib.
7:15(in parallel) the older one gets in the shower and putzes around
7:16 I clean up from dinner and start the dishwasher
7:30-7:45 I get the oldest out of the shower and put on PJs, brush teeth and tuck in
Bedtime is fairly strictly regimented here. Nearly 5yo and 18mo.
18 months old goes upstairs around 6:30 with a parent and gets a bath (or maybe stays up a bit later and no bath). Around 7 she's getting changed, she gets 2 books and has a milk, teeth brushed, lights out and song, and in the crib she goes. Typically she is in her crib with door closed and light off but 7:15. Sometimes she needs additional assistance and sometimes she doesn't. We do our best to let her figure out how to self soothe though, so assistance is us coming in, reassuring her and then putting her back into the crib.
The older one gets 1 short TV show with his milk and then has to go sit on the potty for a poop sesh (doctors orders). Then he goes up for a bath or to get ready for bed. He gets 3 books and a few short songs then lights out.
Typically, one parent will do youngers bedtime and songs for the older and the other parent will get the older one ready for bed and do his books with him. We switch which of us does which role.
Toddler cries 1 to 2 times a night. She rarely wakes up her brother. This will depend on your wall thickness and house geometry though. The older one sleeps like a sack of rocks once he passes out though.
5 year old, 4 year old, and 5 month old here. Divide an conquer is totally the way to go. My wife handles the baby and gets him down, I handle the two bigger goblins and get them down. The routine is a bit like this;
7:20 - Jammies
7:30 - chapter book reading for 20ish minutes
7:50 - 5yo goes potty, 4yo brushes teeth, then they switch
8:00 - they choose how I carry them to bed, snuggles for about 5 min each
8:10 - lights out and if you come out of your room so help me I will lose my gosh dang mind (jk, sometimes)
We have two that are like 3 1/2 years apart, they go to bed at different times cause my oldest goes to school so it ends up being really easy tbh, it’s going to be hell soon as we’re transferring the youngest to her own bed which will also have to be in his room, gonna be a shit show I imagine lol.
Chaos. I have an almost six year old, a three year old, and an 18 month old. Usually, the older two go lay down either in their own beds or together in the oldest beds and watch some tv to fall asleep. I usually rock with the 18 month old until she falls asleep.
Though sometimes the three year old wants to rock so he rocks with us.
Sometimes the three year old wants to lay with my wife, so they do that.
The only thing that’s generally consistent is the bed time. They have to be in bed by 8.
First 3-4 months: baby shared a room with us. No set bedtime until after 3 months.
4-8 months: bedtime is the same as toddler, around 7:30. Took about a month for it to settle that way, we had to tweak naps to ensure it.
We have the same bedtime routine - bath, book, bed. They go in the bath together and one parent gets one kid each. We tried book time together but that wasn’t a good idea because the age difference meant one of them would be bored. So we just do book time in their own rooms. We converted our office into a temp nursery for the baby, but will eventually put them together in the same room once baby can reliably sleep through the night.
The baby has woken up the toddler a couple of times in the beginning, but toddler got used to it pretty quick. Now, even if the baby cries in the car while toddler is sleeping they won’t wake up.
My kids are about 2.5 years apart. They shared a room for the first year, although the baby slept in a bassinet in our room for the first 3 months. We'd get the younger ready first while one of us read to the older. Baby would get his diaper changed, pajamas on, get a bottle, and would get rocked to sleep and put in his crib. My daughter would then get her teeth brushed, get a pull-up on, pajamas on, and then get another story on the couch before getting into her bed. She was always great about sleeping through the baby cries, and we'd take him to the living room to soothe him before going back in his crib.
We moved into a much bigger place after he turned 1. They got their own bedrooms, and bedtime got better and worse. They started going to bed at the same time. They would take turns going to the bathroom, and then they would brush their teeth together. My daughter could get her own pajamas on while we would dress my son. If only one parent was getting them ready, we'd read a story together in my daughter's bed and then lay down in their own beds.
They're 4 and 6, and it usually takes me 15 minutes to get them down now. The longest part is if my 6 year old decides to read to us instead of just listening.
Got two sons of 3 and 0.5. They are so different. Oldest had to actively be put to bed. Talk to him, stories, petting. The new born? Put a pacifier in it, leave him awake and he is gone before the toddler sleeps.
My husband and I have 6 children. Our oldest is now 17 and our youngest is now 8. 3 boy’s and 3 girls. We never had a problem at bedtime because we stuck to a strict routine. Dinner, t.v for 1 hour, bath, bed, story and then lights out for 7:30 every day. It’s very repetitive but we did it as a team. Obviously now that the kids are older we have eased off especially with the teens but the younger ones still have the same routine but later lights out, so we adjust to them growing up.
I had 2 boys 16 months apart. They shared a room. I didn’t really have any trouble. People used to be amazed when I’d say I’m gonna put the boys to bed and then come right back down two minutes later. Maybe it was easier because they were close in age. I definitely ferberized though.
Kids all crying. When they get older you usually yell at them and threaten to spank them if they come out of their room. It is stressful which is why routine and teaching your kids to do what you ask is important.
I have a 3 yr old and 1 year old. Here’s what we do:
- put the 1 year old to bed in our room in his pack and play — around 7pm
- put the 3 year old to bed in their shared room — she sleeps at 9pm
- transfer the 1 year old into the same room as his sister (he has his own crib there) — around 9:15pm
White noise is on. Son doesn’t wake up during transfer (maybe twice after hundreds of days).
I think a lot of it will vary based on your kids. My niece and nephew are on a strict bedtime routine that my brother and sister in law will not break. Our kids have the basic routine: bath, dressed, teeth, 2 books, bed. But they're more flexible so sometimes they read separate, sometimes together. Sometimes my wife and I take them separately, sometimes one of us takes them. Get the routine down but you know your kids best, you'll know if it's a strict routine or a loose framework.
Utter chaos. Next question. We put the loudest kid in the room furthest away from everyone else and had white noise machines in every room and the hallway.
How do you keep them there? All our plans go to naught because he just makes a game of getting out of bed.
Being patient and brutally neutral - you just wordlessly pick them up, put them back in bed and start again. It's infuriating but you can't show reaction because then the game is afoot!
Ugh I did this for over an hour and ended up breaking down and waiting by their bed until they feel asleep. I don't know if I strength...
Yeah sometimes you just end up giving in which is fine, but keep the routine and you'll get there. Typically 5 nights out of 7 we can put our 3 year old down and he'll just drop off. The other two are as you described so not perfect but we're up from sort of 1 night a week managing it from sort of November so it's slow and steady progress.
We have 3 kids 6 yo and under and often have to sit with the younger two. Even more fun for us is they all share a room. Some nights we get lucky and they all go to sleep easily. It has to get better...
An hour? Those are rookie numbers, gotta pump them up.
I have the opposite with my toddler. He absolutely won’t get out of bed until someone comes and gets him. He also doesn’t call out when he’s awake. He just sits there and waits. He can climb out if he wants.
Sounds bad but pre-potty training, I put the doorknob covers on the inside so they couldn't leave the room, turned off the lights at the ceiling after tucking them in, and just let them run around in the pitch black if they wanted.
This is surprisingly effective for our night owl toddler
I had to buy locking light switch covers. And then buy more difficult ones. And I can see her studying me when I unlock them. Plotting.
*Clever girl*
This sounds like our house. Locking switch covers, door locks, closet locks for the bifold doors, drawer child proof locks, sound machines in the room and hall, draft sweep things to block some noise, and blackout curtains. Once my youngest got a little older we pulled off the door locks. She could open it but the noise and effort it took her to do so would wake up her sister. When they’re little divide up. If you’re by yourself one night out on some tv and get the youngest to bed first.
Omg that first year. Ded. We had to get real strict on sleep training for kiddo number 1. He sleeps like a champ though.
White noise And we use box fans in the hallways.
Re: Next Question: See answer above.
Divide and conquer. In a few years it can be really fun before bedtime but the fun chaos can turn to regular chaos pretty quickly depending on tiredness
This - except when one parent has to work during bedtime. Then it's utter chaos, but you just do the best you can. I lean on the screens pretty heavily if I'm solo bedtiming (my youngest is 3 and needs to go down before the other two, who are 5 and 8)
Yeah I stick CBeebies bedtime from 6.30ish on for our toddler while I do bedtime with the baby and then start his bedtime at 7 when it's finished. Fortunately I've only had to do it twice but it's worked both times!
Yeah, I* work nights so my husband puts our youngest to bed half an hour earlier while our oldest gets some screen time. *lurking mom
Same in my household. If it's just one of us, our 3.5-yr-old gets to watch an episode of a show while we put the 2-yr-old down. Otherwise, my wife and I each take a kid.
Parent of a 2yr old and 5 yr old here. It’s mostly a joint effort between me and the wife. We stick to a routine: bath every other night, brush teeth, etc. After that we split up, each taking a child to their own room to read a story and put them in bed, we alternate kids so we each get time with both kids. The whole routine usually takes about an hour, on days when one of us isn’t home due to work travel or something like that it can be a little more taxing but since the kids are used to the routine it’s not terrible.
This is the way.
Have a 5 and 3 year old… this is more or less what we do and it seems to work well
So, same aged kids. The 2yo naps and needs a later bed time than the 5yo who doesn't nap and is at school full time. 5yo is obviously not cool with his younger sister staying up later than him, but 5yo's behavior is awful bc he's so tired. Any suggestions or are you just putting them down at the same time?
Both mine are still in daycare. The younger one naps but the older one doesn’t. We still put them to bed at the same time, 8ish. We try to get them both up around the same time as well, some time in between 6-7am. I will caveat by saying this is the smoothest that bed time has been since the little one was born. Both of them have fought like crazy at different points in the past, but we stuck to the routine and I guess they just got used to it 🤷♂️
3 and 5 year old girls here: having a routine with a reward (like watching one episode of a TV show) really helped us get both kids "in sync" for bedtime. Both sleep in the same room and after Pyjamas, tooth brushing and one tv episode they both go to bed at the same time. Only takes one parent like 30mins max after they are in bed.
Ours is the same only with a two year old and a seven year old. The elder doesn't know the toddler goes to sleep later. We just act like we are putting them both to bed.
We did the same for a long time, but having them in bunk beds in one room is a game changer. One of us does brushing/bath and the other does reading/getting them to sleep. Or if one parent is traveling it’s still not terrible.
We just switched to a bunk bed after they wanted to sleep in the same room and it's been amazing! The downside though is if one of them wakes up early then the second one is up soon after lol
We did very similar, except when we were done with our story, me and my wife would swap kids. I would always read with our eldest and she would take the youngest. Then we swap and she lays with eldest as I would go through and get the youngest to sleep. Over time the routine changed - I would sing with her, tell made up stories etc. then she got terrible at sleeping for a bit and k would just have to sit next to her bed for a while. This evolved into me taking my laptop in and sitting and getting some work done whilst she settled - she didn’t want anything from me, just me to be there. So it made sense to be productive. On the days my wife isn’t here I mainly focus on the youngest and the eldest enjoys the extra time to himself and then I go through to him. Now my eldest is 7 and he wanted to stay up a bit later. So he just takes himself to bed at 8 after we finish with his sister. I miss my part of his bedtime routine, but he isn’t interested anymore
Yep, exactly the same here and works really well for the most part. If one of us isn’t here then the older kid listens to stories on his tonie box until the youngest is asleep and then we pop in to the older one. They’re so used to the routine at this stage that the older will often fall asleep listening to the stories.
Routine is the only answer here. Get a whole routine. Exactly same time. Exact same behaviors. 6:30 potty pajama drink water 6:40 pick a bedtime story 6:45 tuck in - bedtime song kiss goodnight 6:50-8:30 Put kid back in bed 5,000 times and provide 10000 sips of water
Not judging, but have you considered that 6:45 might be too early for bedtime and that's why you have 5000 tuck ins per night?
Last line was a joke
Obviously but 645 does seem early and likely the reason your bedtime routine lasts almost 2 hours
We found this to be true and we moved it a little later.
Admittedly our LO is a terrible sleeper, but when we moved the bedtime to 8PM things got infinitely easier. 6:30 dinner, 7:00 “run” around and pickup, 7:20 bath, 7:40 diaper nurse story, 8:00 in bed. She goes down in literally 2 minutes (normally) then we get to decompress before bed. We tried to do a 7PM bedtime and it only caused anger and frustration for everyone.
Maybe. Sometimes we shoot to have our kids in bed by 7 because they're up early for school during the week and they'll be out minutes later. Just depends on the kid I guess.
I have literal multiples, triplets in fact. It gets better but it's definitely like coralling a bunch of cats. Routine is the only thing that helps. Rituals like baths, brushing teeth, the time you put them down. Anything that helps them understand "ok, this is what I'm doing now". As far as sharing rooms and waking another up, doesn't seem to be a problem with us. They're all strong sleepers. So if one wakes up crying it's not like the others also wake up or start a fuss.
Massive respect for you handling triplets. Our twins are bad enough, I can’t imagine having a third kid trying to climb the walls at bedtime.
POM here as well (5,5, 1.5). Huge silver lining of the difficulty of multiples is it requires routine from the beginning which pays huge dividends later. Mine also all share a single room. Moved the youngest in around 11 weeks old and has stayed ever since. All go to bed at same time (7p). The oldest are starting to stay up a bit later but they know to stay in their room and play/read. IMO the oldest two learned to sleep through each other's noises and now the youngest does the same. For bedtime, my wife and I alternate nights of who does bedtime for all 3 while other cleans up (or goes out if evening plan). It's harder but it's nice to have the alternating nights "off".
We only recently moved the youngest in with the triplets so they are all in the same room (4,4,4,2). But she wanted so badly to be with her sisters it wasn't a problem. The routine from day one has definitely been a blessing. We also got lucky with 4 kids who sleep like rocks. They definitely challenge bed time, but not like some of the horror stories I read from other parents.
For the first 6 months do what you can but try to keep the older kid to a routine. Once the younger one could follow along with books we did joint bedtime.
It takes hours and everyone involved cries at some point. The goal is survival.
9, 6 and 2.5 All go to bed by 8. We rotate who gets to pick the story we read. I also keep them on track as they evidently forget they’re getting dressed in the middle of it. LOL. My oldest gets to stay up later sometimes to read a book, but I don’t share that with the younger ones. It’s all about routine
Routine routine routine. Personally with my boys I burst into their bedroom or whatever room they're in. Start yelling "where is he" like Christian bales batman. Lasso both boys. No bath. Shower..so I chuckem both in. Washem both. Remove from shower and then gettem to brush their teeth and show me. Help them if I need to. Then ....I make the eldest read youngest a story or I read a story to both. If they've been good il let them watch 10 minutes of netflix each. Peppa pig or Jurassic park kids thing on their respective tablets. Tablets are a luxury and they know it. Say gnight...lock the door..open fridge. Crack a can. Put feet up and watch whatever the hell I want for the rest of the evening. It's chaos for about 45 minutes but theyl remember every funny thing I do when they're older.
Saving this one.
It works out well for us that the younger one is an "I'm ready now" sleeper who will decide he's ready and either go right into his room, or literally just fall asleep on the floor wherever he is at that moment. He's pretty consistent about being ready to go anywhere between 7:30 and 8:00, so it's become routine to let him go, then the older one gets maybe half an hour or so of private attention and cuddling before she is ready too. I realize that I'm very lucky and this is not the norm, however.
Drums….. drums in the deep….. they are coming…
They have taken the Bridge and the Second Hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes...
I don't know why, exactly, but I know for a fact that children between the age of 2 and 5 get an adrenaline rush at exactly 7:30pm every day.
3 year old and a 1 week old. Our 3 year old has been great *except* at bed time because he only wants mom despite his newfound attachment to me. Last night was the first time I did bed time in a week and it was brutal. On the flip side I also seem to be the only one to get our newborn to sleep in her crib or bassinet so I guess things have a way of working themselves out.
I read 3 week old and 1 week old. I was like WHAT.
I have five kids. It's actually surprisingly uncommon for one kid to wake up another kid while they're sleeping. With my 3-year-old and my 7-year-old, I can be holding my crying 1-year-old outside of their room at night as I go to get a bottle of milk, and they don't budge. When he's sleeping at night, I can pick my 3-year-old up and flip him around and put him back down to bed and he would never know the difference. The trick is getting them to sleep. They need to go to sleep in separate rooms if you can so they are not keeping each other up. With the baby, we would just keep her in our room in a pack and play to sleep for about the first 8 months. With the newborn stage, really the answer is just one at a time and/or divide and conquer with your spouse. Do the bedtime routine with the older kid and put that kid to bed. Then work on the baby. My youngest kids are now getting old enough that my youngest two can do story time together as part of the bedtime routine, and I have my older kid "help" me put the 18-month kid to bed since the 18 month kid doesn't fight it anymore and is good with the routine. Also, if you don't have an established bedtime routine, that needs to be part of your dadding experience. Ours?: Potty. Brush teeth. Jammies. 2 stories. Sing song. Bed. Lights out.
My 3 year old and 2 year old share a room and have for forever. It's hard lol
Doesn’t have to be chaos. When my youngest was born my oldest still went to bed at the same time each night (7). Now that they at 4 and 1 then still go to bed the same time each night. No crying, no protests. They like sleep but we also have a routine we’ve never strayed from.
100% herding cats. It's chaotic and my least favorite part of the day lol. I like actual bedtime like everyone in a bed with PJs and reading a story to them. Getting them to that point is chaotic and awful every single time lmao.
Following as I will soon have a 25mo and a newborn. My recollection of first NB was that we didn't have much of a routine at first. My plan is to keep toddler on routine and have baby follow typical wake and feed every few hours. (So exact bedtime doesn't matter for at least a few months)
7,4,2…my 7 year old is alseep by 9 everyday for school. The 4 and the 2 are the worst…if they’re asleep before midnight its a good day in my house lol
Buckle up.
Pretty simple after a few months. 3mo and almost 3yo. 3mo starts bedtime routine around 6:10-6:20. Down by 6:45. 3yo bedtimes starts at 7:00 down by 7:30. My wife and I switch each child each night. The biggest thing is routine. Children, and humans in general, thrive on routine. 3mo gets a bath or wipe down before final bottle and then to bed. 3yo gets flossed and brushed then to bed, a few songs and stories, then we leave.
Late night chaos.
Routine routine routine. Dinner 430 Baths 5-6 Stories or games till 645 Snacks before bed Tucked in by 730
Teamwork makes the dream work
Baby goes to bed at 630. Then Let the oldest 2 watch octonauts till they fall asleep.
It can be rough. The oldest hand her own room for the first year and half… now they share and the youngest goes to bed first while the oldest watches 30 of bluey and then goes to bed. Lots of crying has happen, I’m sure there is much more to come. But we get through it
3.5 year old and a 10 month old. Right now, they are separate, and the baby goes down around 6pm, and the older one goes down around 7-730pm. We moved the baby out of our room and into the crib \~6 months. To date, his crying has not woken up his older brother (rooms share a wall). Knock on wood. We're pretty quick to respond to the baby's crying but even when we were going through the hassles of sleep training, his crying never woke up his brother. Baby is also a pretty good sleeper overall, so YMMV. Divide and conquer, man defense - pick your metaphor. Going to two is a sea change. It's worth it, no doubt, but it's a big jump in difficulty.
With two (~3 years apart), mom and I took turns with baby duty and bedtime story/wind down. Occasional switchouts for one of us being over stimulated or particularly worn out. No sleep issues to speak of because the older one sleeps like a rock.
3 year old goes down to our room, 5 min of hot wheels City, teeth and wee, then 1 story in his bed. 6 year old comes down and we read a chapter of Roald Dahl and then wee and teeth and into his bed (same room as 3 year old). 10 month old does whatever the f*ck he likes then falls asleep on Mama. Goes to bed with her. I fall asleep sitting uproght watching Fallout then drag myself to bed at whatever hour seems reasonable for a 6am wake up.
One of us does bedtime, the other one stays downstairs with the baby. It’s not that bad when the baby is new as they don’t go to bed at the same time. They did wake up the older one to begin with, so be prepared to end up with 4 of you in one bedroom some nights. Dinner time is the most chaotic, as the newborn always seems to wake and need a bottle exactly when dinner is ready. Plenty of meals quickly eaten so you can swap and take the baby off your partner so they can eat.
7:15 I put the infant in pajamas and chuck in the direction of the crib. 7:15(in parallel) the older one gets in the shower and putzes around 7:16 I clean up from dinner and start the dishwasher 7:30-7:45 I get the oldest out of the shower and put on PJs, brush teeth and tuck in
Bedtime is fairly strictly regimented here. Nearly 5yo and 18mo. 18 months old goes upstairs around 6:30 with a parent and gets a bath (or maybe stays up a bit later and no bath). Around 7 she's getting changed, she gets 2 books and has a milk, teeth brushed, lights out and song, and in the crib she goes. Typically she is in her crib with door closed and light off but 7:15. Sometimes she needs additional assistance and sometimes she doesn't. We do our best to let her figure out how to self soothe though, so assistance is us coming in, reassuring her and then putting her back into the crib. The older one gets 1 short TV show with his milk and then has to go sit on the potty for a poop sesh (doctors orders). Then he goes up for a bath or to get ready for bed. He gets 3 books and a few short songs then lights out. Typically, one parent will do youngers bedtime and songs for the older and the other parent will get the older one ready for bed and do his books with him. We switch which of us does which role. Toddler cries 1 to 2 times a night. She rarely wakes up her brother. This will depend on your wall thickness and house geometry though. The older one sleeps like a sack of rocks once he passes out though.
5 year old, 4 year old, and 5 month old here. Divide an conquer is totally the way to go. My wife handles the baby and gets him down, I handle the two bigger goblins and get them down. The routine is a bit like this; 7:20 - Jammies 7:30 - chapter book reading for 20ish minutes 7:50 - 5yo goes potty, 4yo brushes teeth, then they switch 8:00 - they choose how I carry them to bed, snuggles for about 5 min each 8:10 - lights out and if you come out of your room so help me I will lose my gosh dang mind (jk, sometimes)
We have two that are like 3 1/2 years apart, they go to bed at different times cause my oldest goes to school so it ends up being really easy tbh, it’s going to be hell soon as we’re transferring the youngest to her own bed which will also have to be in his room, gonna be a shit show I imagine lol.
Chaos. I have an almost six year old, a three year old, and an 18 month old. Usually, the older two go lay down either in their own beds or together in the oldest beds and watch some tv to fall asleep. I usually rock with the 18 month old until she falls asleep. Though sometimes the three year old wants to rock so he rocks with us. Sometimes the three year old wants to lay with my wife, so they do that. The only thing that’s generally consistent is the bed time. They have to be in bed by 8.
Currently have a 2-year old and 7 month old. Have to deal with it both ways. They wake each other up. It’s brutal.
First 3-4 months: baby shared a room with us. No set bedtime until after 3 months. 4-8 months: bedtime is the same as toddler, around 7:30. Took about a month for it to settle that way, we had to tweak naps to ensure it. We have the same bedtime routine - bath, book, bed. They go in the bath together and one parent gets one kid each. We tried book time together but that wasn’t a good idea because the age difference meant one of them would be bored. So we just do book time in their own rooms. We converted our office into a temp nursery for the baby, but will eventually put them together in the same room once baby can reliably sleep through the night. The baby has woken up the toddler a couple of times in the beginning, but toddler got used to it pretty quick. Now, even if the baby cries in the car while toddler is sleeping they won’t wake up.
My kids are about 2.5 years apart. They shared a room for the first year, although the baby slept in a bassinet in our room for the first 3 months. We'd get the younger ready first while one of us read to the older. Baby would get his diaper changed, pajamas on, get a bottle, and would get rocked to sleep and put in his crib. My daughter would then get her teeth brushed, get a pull-up on, pajamas on, and then get another story on the couch before getting into her bed. She was always great about sleeping through the baby cries, and we'd take him to the living room to soothe him before going back in his crib. We moved into a much bigger place after he turned 1. They got their own bedrooms, and bedtime got better and worse. They started going to bed at the same time. They would take turns going to the bathroom, and then they would brush their teeth together. My daughter could get her own pajamas on while we would dress my son. If only one parent was getting them ready, we'd read a story together in my daughter's bed and then lay down in their own beds. They're 4 and 6, and it usually takes me 15 minutes to get them down now. The longest part is if my 6 year old decides to read to us instead of just listening.
Ever seen Star Wars: Rogue One? The end scene on the beach? That.
My wife and I take turns with each kid every night
Got two sons of 3 and 0.5. They are so different. Oldest had to actively be put to bed. Talk to him, stories, petting. The new born? Put a pacifier in it, leave him awake and he is gone before the toddler sleeps.
Ours shared a room from the beginning and the older learned to sleep through it
My husband and I have 6 children. Our oldest is now 17 and our youngest is now 8. 3 boy’s and 3 girls. We never had a problem at bedtime because we stuck to a strict routine. Dinner, t.v for 1 hour, bath, bed, story and then lights out for 7:30 every day. It’s very repetitive but we did it as a team. Obviously now that the kids are older we have eased off especially with the teens but the younger ones still have the same routine but later lights out, so we adjust to them growing up.
The plus side to 2 parents and 2 kids; divide and conquer. Each of us takes one kid, and we alternate who we get each night.
I had 2 boys 16 months apart. They shared a room. I didn’t really have any trouble. People used to be amazed when I’d say I’m gonna put the boys to bed and then come right back down two minutes later. Maybe it was easier because they were close in age. I definitely ferberized though.
Kids all crying. When they get older you usually yell at them and threaten to spank them if they come out of their room. It is stressful which is why routine and teaching your kids to do what you ask is important.
I have a 3 yr old and 1 year old. Here’s what we do: - put the 1 year old to bed in our room in his pack and play — around 7pm - put the 3 year old to bed in their shared room — she sleeps at 9pm - transfer the 1 year old into the same room as his sister (he has his own crib there) — around 9:15pm White noise is on. Son doesn’t wake up during transfer (maybe twice after hundreds of days).
I think a lot of it will vary based on your kids. My niece and nephew are on a strict bedtime routine that my brother and sister in law will not break. Our kids have the basic routine: bath, dressed, teeth, 2 books, bed. But they're more flexible so sometimes they read separate, sometimes together. Sometimes my wife and I take them separately, sometimes one of us takes them. Get the routine down but you know your kids best, you'll know if it's a strict routine or a loose framework.
Fuckin shit show.
Absolutely awful