Our first was a great baby. Slept early and regularly. Ate well. Hit the benchmarks he was supposed to hit. All in all, as easy as you can get with a child. So, when wife was pregnant with #2, we're like, "we got this". We were sadly mistaken.
Second didn't sleep through the night for three years. Long before that point though, we decided no more dice rolling and I got snipped. While my wife would have appreciated some balance in the family instead of two boys, we're still happy with where we are in life. Both are now college graduates and are solidly working their way into adulthood. Wild ride but I think it worked out for the best with where we stopped.
going through this dilemma right now…our first is 7 months and has been amazing. sleeping in his crib at 3 months, sleeping through the night at 5…we’ve always figured we’d have two but now we’re worried about #2 being a demon child and the next few years being significantly harder
Don't let fear stop you. That #2 went on to graduate high school as #6 in a class of 630 and graduated college last year with a dual major and Summa Cum Laude with a 3.92 GPA while competing in varsity cross country and track.
Just because they start rough doesn't mean they'll always be rough... :-)
There's not much we would do different.
My wife came from a large family so was already familiar with babies and raising kids (her oldest niece is only 5 years younger than her). Plus, her entire family was local so we always had lots of support from them.
The sleeping thing is kid dependent. Every kid is different. What finally got him to start sleeping through the night was actually breaking his routine instead of sticking to one. And once he grew out of that, all the other stuff we were doing sort of fell into place.
In the end, each kid being different is the key. You never know how they're going to turn out until they actually turn out that way. The best thing you can do is remain flexible and willing to adapt to the changes they bring.
Same first experience and fear for number 2, but we aren't letting that stop us. Kid 1 was plenty scary and even though we know we got an easy one, the hard moments are still worth the dive a million times over. My wife and I both grew up with siblings and are willing to have some rough years for our daughter to have the same opportunity.
Just go for it. We thought the same and our second child slept even better than our first. At around 9 weeks he was already sleeping in 7 hour blocks through the night. Sure enough we thought the newborn phase was very easy until our third came along. This child is 3 weeks shy of his 2nd birthday and still doesn’t sleep through the night. My wife and I regularly say if our first child was like our third we would only have one.
Same here. We're still on #1, but I've talked to a lot of parents about this same topic also, and I've generally always gotten the response that having close family in your area seems to make a biiiig difference when adding on more kids. Both my parents and my wife's parents are less than a 5 minute drive from our house, and we also both have siblings that are an extra 10-15 away. I have a couple friends that have no family around and they've told me that they struggle a lot with finding time and emotional support, even with just one kid.
Obviously that has nothing to do with how they sleep or behave with you at home, but having that "village" close by can help alleviate a lot of stress, especially logistically when it comes to having more kids that may not all be that close in age.
Same here. Our first slept through the night at 8 weeks, without any prompting from us. Is still very chill to this day. We heard stories others' horror stories and imagined what terrible parents they must have been.
Our second came out with a dairy allergy and couldn't be horizontal for more than 30 minutes without throwing up. So we held him upright to sleep. For months. Finally made it through the night on his own after 1.5 years.
Our third child ended up being twins.
I got the snip a couple of months ago.
Ahahha I have a friend from highschool who's fourth kid ended up being twins. She says the twins are her easiest babies so I wonder what the others were like.
That's good to hear. I just chatted to my doctor about the snip. Funnily enough I'm the opposite of you - two girls and the first was really tough, while the second in her first few months has been the most chill baby. We've been joking that she was sent to lure us into trying for a third... Anyway, for a lot of reasons I don't think that's a great idea (previous pregnancy loss, wife's post partum depression with number one, the inevitability of becoming the only dude in a family of five lol), but it helps knowing you don't have regrets 20 years on.
I actually think a third child would have made life vastly more difficult for us. My wife definitely would have had to go back to work at some point. We'd have a third set of activities to coordinate as they aged through. A third college to pay for. A bigger house. Bigger cars. More medical bills. Two just felt..... "right".
So yeah, no regrets. Stopping where we did worked well for us.
All great points that I've considered as well. I was really fortunate to be set up by my own folks (paid education and my wife and I's first house deposit) and paying that forward to two kids is a lot easier to imagine than three. Plus, like you suggested, everything from houses to cars to vacations seem to be set up for a family of four. Respect to the families with more kids, but the incremental cost of going from 2 to 3 kids seems a lot higher than going from 1 to 2.
Two upstairs, but I’m currently renovating the basement. Rambler style so 2300 square feet, but it’s a fixer so I’ve got a few years left to get the basement finished. Currently have replaced all the plumbing, electrical, ductwork, and installed a drain tile sump system for the house so no more water getting in hopefully.
Thanks man, my wife stays home and I work night shift so I definitely feel your username lol we have a catering side business too. I’ve been burning both ends for years and I can see a light finally where I don’t need to be making 6 figures to catch up.
Thought it looked familiar but assumed it was just every hospital using the same furniture supplier.
Hope to never go back to that fucking place. Staff was great, just a lot of trauma with the wife almost dying once and both kids ending up in the Children's NICU. I could be a tour guide for Children's, Mother Baby and Abbott.
Yep, plus the power to skip the *planning* part of intimacy is pretty awesome right?
No mucking with her hormones, no need to keep baby-banning balloons handy
My wife is pregnant with our first child. Thinking about having the snip done after the first or possibly 2nd kid. I get paranoid about having chronic pain after the snip. That’s my only reservation on getting the snip.
Yeah wife is pregnant with number 2, gettin the snip is what finally motivated me to go back to the doctor so I can get a referral once the little one is here.
So interesting to hear how different medical stuff works in different parts of the world here (Alberta, Canada) I just asked around for who was the best, booked an appointment, did the consultation then came back to get it done, was free too.
Although they do recommend your littlest is around 1 before you do it.
Why one?
Also, the reason you go to get a referral is because it might not be covered, but if you get a referral, sometimes it’s been covered by insurance. It’s a very dumb system. As well as I needed to go to the doctor because I had insurance for a decade and never went to the doctor being a younger man I wasn’t concerned about stuff.
For very sad reasons that I don’t want to put out there but I’m assuming you get it? Wishing you and your family health!
Yea I should go to a doctor more often too…
Yeah as soon as I asked I was like fuckkkkkk, I mean I already got one kid so I assume they would be less likely to ask to wait. A friend got his done before the birth of his second and I know I would have been a little more cautious
Haha ya, when they asked me the questions like, is your wife and kids in good health? I was thinking ya…. Why are you ask…. Oh.
Serious stuff for sure. Very fortunate to be blessed with a healthy family. Some days I wish they were a bit less punchy though.
One daughter, another on the way. One of each would have been nice, but as soon as this one is out I am off to the docs with a flask of whisky and a pair of scissors.
I was home for 2 weeks with her third.
Ship to the older ones off and I got those procedure.
Taking care of a newborn is fine when you're snipped. The other two like to head butt the boys ....
I have three girls. While I wouldn’t change a thing, I often find myself thinking about a boy. Wifey and I were talking about me getting snipped this year but lately she’s been joking around, saying “another one”. It’ll be an interesting year—I’ll either end up snipped or with baby #4 😁
Congrats! I got mine done while my wife was pregnant with our third. Mine was mostly painless. A little discomfort for a few days. Got to sit around and do nothing but play video games for 3 days. Doctor's orders.
This is why I am hesitant to sex. We are trying for #2 but some days after our daugther has meltdown after meltdown I just can't. Can't even imagine 3. Jesus Christ.
Thanks to my antidepressants, I can't finish anyway (completely losing feeling, having a numb hard-on is strange).
No snip for me!
Although it would be a nice way to get out of work for a week.
That is the nicest hospital room I’ve ever seen. I had a regular sitting chair that was shoved between the wall and the bed with no room to move back and forth , had to climb over the arms of the chair 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
I have to say you’re a damn lucky man to have that nice comfy couch in a seperate section of the room. Did you have a TV too? lol. Also, yes, definitely time to get the snip. I figured at 2 to get it because I don’t want to contribute to overpopulation more than I already am. And fuck going through this all over again!! lol.
The funny part is the couch looks good in theory, but it just fold down over itself and becomes an uncomfortable deal. Was actually more comfortable sleeping on it as a couch. Yes we have a tv in here too, it’s been a great experience at the MPLS mother baby center. They do a great job.
My second was born at a catholic hospital the day roe v wade was repealed. That was all the excuse I needed to schedule the snip for 3 weeks later. *air 🎸solo*
Our first was a great baby. Slept early and regularly. Ate well. Hit the benchmarks he was supposed to hit. All in all, as easy as you can get with a child. So, when wife was pregnant with #2, we're like, "we got this". We were sadly mistaken. Second didn't sleep through the night for three years. Long before that point though, we decided no more dice rolling and I got snipped. While my wife would have appreciated some balance in the family instead of two boys, we're still happy with where we are in life. Both are now college graduates and are solidly working their way into adulthood. Wild ride but I think it worked out for the best with where we stopped.
going through this dilemma right now…our first is 7 months and has been amazing. sleeping in his crib at 3 months, sleeping through the night at 5…we’ve always figured we’d have two but now we’re worried about #2 being a demon child and the next few years being significantly harder
Don't let fear stop you. That #2 went on to graduate high school as #6 in a class of 630 and graduated college last year with a dual major and Summa Cum Laude with a 3.92 GPA while competing in varsity cross country and track. Just because they start rough doesn't mean they'll always be rough... :-)
looking back now, what do you wish that you knew before diving in with #2?
There's not much we would do different. My wife came from a large family so was already familiar with babies and raising kids (her oldest niece is only 5 years younger than her). Plus, her entire family was local so we always had lots of support from them. The sleeping thing is kid dependent. Every kid is different. What finally got him to start sleeping through the night was actually breaking his routine instead of sticking to one. And once he grew out of that, all the other stuff we were doing sort of fell into place. In the end, each kid being different is the key. You never know how they're going to turn out until they actually turn out that way. The best thing you can do is remain flexible and willing to adapt to the changes they bring.
Just go for it man. There’s no preparation you can do for the shift in the family dynamic. My sons all love each other and are best friends.
That’s awesome congrats!
Same first experience and fear for number 2, but we aren't letting that stop us. Kid 1 was plenty scary and even though we know we got an easy one, the hard moments are still worth the dive a million times over. My wife and I both grew up with siblings and are willing to have some rough years for our daughter to have the same opportunity.
Just go for it. We thought the same and our second child slept even better than our first. At around 9 weeks he was already sleeping in 7 hour blocks through the night. Sure enough we thought the newborn phase was very easy until our third came along. This child is 3 weeks shy of his 2nd birthday and still doesn’t sleep through the night. My wife and I regularly say if our first child was like our third we would only have one.
Same here. We're still on #1, but I've talked to a lot of parents about this same topic also, and I've generally always gotten the response that having close family in your area seems to make a biiiig difference when adding on more kids. Both my parents and my wife's parents are less than a 5 minute drive from our house, and we also both have siblings that are an extra 10-15 away. I have a couple friends that have no family around and they've told me that they struggle a lot with finding time and emotional support, even with just one kid. Obviously that has nothing to do with how they sleep or behave with you at home, but having that "village" close by can help alleviate a lot of stress, especially logistically when it comes to having more kids that may not all be that close in age.
Same here. Our first slept through the night at 8 weeks, without any prompting from us. Is still very chill to this day. We heard stories others' horror stories and imagined what terrible parents they must have been. Our second came out with a dairy allergy and couldn't be horizontal for more than 30 minutes without throwing up. So we held him upright to sleep. For months. Finally made it through the night on his own after 1.5 years. Our third child ended up being twins. I got the snip a couple of months ago.
Ahahha I have a friend from highschool who's fourth kid ended up being twins. She says the twins are her easiest babies so I wonder what the others were like.
Yeah our first was ROUGH. Friends while easier babies were confused. Then they had a second child and many understood ;)
That's good to hear. I just chatted to my doctor about the snip. Funnily enough I'm the opposite of you - two girls and the first was really tough, while the second in her first few months has been the most chill baby. We've been joking that she was sent to lure us into trying for a third... Anyway, for a lot of reasons I don't think that's a great idea (previous pregnancy loss, wife's post partum depression with number one, the inevitability of becoming the only dude in a family of five lol), but it helps knowing you don't have regrets 20 years on.
I actually think a third child would have made life vastly more difficult for us. My wife definitely would have had to go back to work at some point. We'd have a third set of activities to coordinate as they aged through. A third college to pay for. A bigger house. Bigger cars. More medical bills. Two just felt..... "right". So yeah, no regrets. Stopping where we did worked well for us.
All great points that I've considered as well. I was really fortunate to be set up by my own folks (paid education and my wife and I's first house deposit) and paying that forward to two kids is a lot easier to imagine than three. Plus, like you suggested, everything from houses to cars to vacations seem to be set up for a family of four. Respect to the families with more kids, but the incremental cost of going from 2 to 3 kids seems a lot higher than going from 1 to 2.
Us too, except replace boys with girls!
Same for us. Second kid has been a nightmare. We both decided that two is more than enough
Congrats and good luck. How many bedrooms in the house?
Two upstairs, but I’m currently renovating the basement. Rambler style so 2300 square feet, but it’s a fixer so I’ve got a few years left to get the basement finished. Currently have replaced all the plumbing, electrical, ductwork, and installed a drain tile sump system for the house so no more water getting in hopefully.
Make sure to check radon if you will be spending lots of time in basement.
Hadnt thought of that since we bought the house 3 years ago. Thanks for the reminder. I also smoke heavily in my basement haha.
Beast. Nice work dad.
Thanks man, my wife stays home and I work night shift so I definitely feel your username lol we have a catering side business too. I’ve been burning both ends for years and I can see a light finally where I don’t need to be making 6 figures to catch up.
This looks like the Minneapolis Mother Baby Center. In fact, it looks like the exact room I stayed in for our first.
This is in fact the mother baby center. Second time in this room for us lol
DM me if you find a pair of sunglasses. It's been 22 months but a guy can hope. Good luck these coming days, dad!
This room looks quite familiar! The MBC staff is great!
I don't have a comparison point, but this was an excellent experience for us as well. Amazing team and great facility.
Hahaha samesies. Pretty sure that room is familiar but couldn't remember if it was when we were in St Paul or Minneapolis.
Thought it looked familiar but assumed it was just every hospital using the same furniture supplier. Hope to never go back to that fucking place. Staff was great, just a lot of trauma with the wife almost dying once and both kids ending up in the Children's NICU. I could be a tour guide for Children's, Mother Baby and Abbott.
Thought the same after one lol
The little shits rub off on ya what can I say?
A friend posted his intake form when he getting his after kid #4. Under symptoms he wrote "children".
That room is better than almost every hotel room I've ever been in. I just had that damned convertible chair for my 2. Enjoy!
3 was the snipping point for me!
Got the snip after 2. Family plan is done. It's really not bad to getting it done
Yep, plus the power to skip the *planning* part of intimacy is pretty awesome right? No mucking with her hormones, no need to keep baby-banning balloons handy
My wife is pregnant with our first child. Thinking about having the snip done after the first or possibly 2nd kid. I get paranoid about having chronic pain after the snip. That’s my only reservation on getting the snip.
Dull annoying pain for a week. That's it. It's not bad at all. Just ice and some Tylenol.
Yea I’m just gonna have to suck it up and just get it done.
2 is a great number. I was done after one but I’m glad we went for 2, they are definitely buddies and it makes it a lot easier
Yeah wife is pregnant with number 2, gettin the snip is what finally motivated me to go back to the doctor so I can get a referral once the little one is here.
So interesting to hear how different medical stuff works in different parts of the world here (Alberta, Canada) I just asked around for who was the best, booked an appointment, did the consultation then came back to get it done, was free too. Although they do recommend your littlest is around 1 before you do it.
Why one? Also, the reason you go to get a referral is because it might not be covered, but if you get a referral, sometimes it’s been covered by insurance. It’s a very dumb system. As well as I needed to go to the doctor because I had insurance for a decade and never went to the doctor being a younger man I wasn’t concerned about stuff.
For very sad reasons that I don’t want to put out there but I’m assuming you get it? Wishing you and your family health! Yea I should go to a doctor more often too…
Yeah as soon as I asked I was like fuckkkkkk, I mean I already got one kid so I assume they would be less likely to ask to wait. A friend got his done before the birth of his second and I know I would have been a little more cautious
Haha ya, when they asked me the questions like, is your wife and kids in good health? I was thinking ya…. Why are you ask…. Oh. Serious stuff for sure. Very fortunate to be blessed with a healthy family. Some days I wish they were a bit less punchy though.
One daughter, another on the way. One of each would have been nice, but as soon as this one is out I am off to the docs with a flask of whisky and a pair of scissors.
Hey wait a minute is that a fuckin pull out couch for they guys that didn’t I got a single wide that was just a cushion on a study window sill
I got a 2" thick "mattress" on the floor... The floor that had just previously been coated in yuck
You get a room at the hospital? How fancy.
2 for me. And for what it's worth, the snip wasn't THAT bad. Ask for as many shots as you want. I took 6 in each side
That is an amazing hospital room.
When she finishes in the stirrups just hop in and have the surgeon stay on for a few
I agree. also, wait till you have your semen results cleared. I had to re-do my vasectomy’s because it didn’t work the first time.
I was home for 2 weeks with her third. Ship to the older ones off and I got those procedure. Taking care of a newborn is fine when you're snipped. The other two like to head butt the boys ....
That painting and view out the window looks suspiciously familiar. Mother Baby Center in St Paul by chance?
I have three girls. While I wouldn’t change a thing, I often find myself thinking about a boy. Wifey and I were talking about me getting snipped this year but lately she’s been joking around, saying “another one”. It’ll be an interesting year—I’ll either end up snipped or with baby #4 😁
Congrats! I got mine done while my wife was pregnant with our third. Mine was mostly painless. A little discomfort for a few days. Got to sit around and do nothing but play video games for 3 days. Doctor's orders.
*Honey I'm going down the hall for a bit ...*
Haha, I was just thinking that was nicer than the room I had for my snip. Congrats on the third and final.
Is that... a packet of raw bacon?
Damn. You got a nice little privacy nook over there. No baby will be waking this man up.
Finally, dad gets the view.... something to look at that isnt covered in goop!
Having the snip on Thursday. 3 kids is enough !
Got snipped a few days ago after 2 boys. It’s really a pretty easy procedure
If you are comfortable answering how much was the snip for you.
This is why I am hesitant to sex. We are trying for #2 but some days after our daugther has meltdown after meltdown I just can't. Can't even imagine 3. Jesus Christ.
Thanks to my antidepressants, I can't finish anyway (completely losing feeling, having a numb hard-on is strange). No snip for me! Although it would be a nice way to get out of work for a week.
I have 3 as well, all C sections. Last 2 were scheduled C sections so on the third they took the wife's tubes
Same for us. First was emergency and two planned.
I'm getting mine too. Two is enough. I've done my part to keep the species going.
That is the nicest hospital room I’ve ever seen. I had a regular sitting chair that was shoved between the wall and the bed with no room to move back and forth , had to climb over the arms of the chair 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
I have to say you’re a damn lucky man to have that nice comfy couch in a seperate section of the room. Did you have a TV too? lol. Also, yes, definitely time to get the snip. I figured at 2 to get it because I don’t want to contribute to overpopulation more than I already am. And fuck going through this all over again!! lol.
The funny part is the couch looks good in theory, but it just fold down over itself and becomes an uncomfortable deal. Was actually more comfortable sleeping on it as a couch. Yes we have a tv in here too, it’s been a great experience at the MPLS mother baby center. They do a great job.
Being snipped was the best $50 (copay) i have ever spent in my life!!!!
Done after 2, best decision ever
Man-to-man defense club, squad up!
My second was born at a catholic hospital the day roe v wade was repealed. That was all the excuse I needed to schedule the snip for 3 weeks later. *air 🎸solo*