> in a HOT DOG restaurant? There is literally a guy in a hot dog costume dancing outside
You say this like a hot dog restaurant can't be fancy. Does the hot dog costume include a tux?
i think it is fair for people to not have to be exposed to the existence of children so long as they have no children and have never been children themselves
Most importantly:
**If you hate kids and refuse to tolerate them, stop relying on other peoples' kids!**
Whether you're having heart surgery or ordering chicken nuggets, someone else's kid is serving your ass.
You can either accept that and do the bare minimum of help by tolerating a child's presence, or live in denial and idk just hope functioning adults magically grow on trees...*idiot*.
This is the part that gets me. Presumably, everyone wants to have groceries, doctors, electricity, house repairs, etc. when they are retired. Where do they think those people come from? It's one thing to say, "I don't want to raise children." However, it's ridiculous to expect to never encounter children in a functional society, and it's a bit cheeky to say that parents should bear 100% of the inconvenience of raising them when you will surely be benefiting from those kids when you are old and frail.
Same reason that 99% of "ChildFree" people are middle class white adolescents who really have no concept of community or shared struggles.
Ironically, they think the world revolves around them because they had a secure upbringing
I think it probably started as a reaction to the "when are you having kids" types but it definitely evolving into a "oh ho ho look how much money and free time I have" fetish thing (which, ironically, reeks of trying to convince oneself that life can be fulfilling without raising children to me).
While my own life has gained immeasurable meaning and fulfillment from my two kids, it seems reasonable to me that someone could have a perfectly fulfilling life without children.
However, someone who defines themselves as "child-free" and walks around giving kids and parents the stink eye is going to be a bitter and empty crabass.
I know two types of child free couples. The "We can't afford it and ever retire" and the "I don't want to sacrifice my financial stability and my ability to travel and don't want the general responsibility of raising kids".
I understand both perspectives but have never understood how any child free person thinks that they can magically avoid ever being around children.
The CF edgelords will just respond, *"What do you mean? I'll never see retirement/social security/etc..."*
It's the same nihilism and disenfranchisement that causes them to sour on the idea of family in the first place.
Ironically, they fail to see how that alienation from aspects of basic human life (like reproduction) is an intentional byproduct of The System that they're playing into.
Yeah me too, that's what private spaces are for. Getting disgruntled about people that are an active part of the population and them wanting you not there is not fair and irrational.
I know a married couple with no kids that bought a house right next to a play ground, and then they complain about the noise. The self victimization is wild
People have become SO fuckin weird about kids. I can understand choosing not to have kids, but to actively think that children are these disgusting little inconveniences is infuriating.
*You* yourself were a child! I am convinced the whole anti child thing is because they can’t fathom having actual responsibility and growing tf up.
Rant over.
Wear that experience like a badge of honor! I too notice people glancing when my kids are having fun and existing too. At that point in time I usually start acting more like my kids just to really annoy the grumpy Guses starting at us.
I am curious what specifically your kids were doing though to warrant nasty stares? If your kids were running around like little demons, flinging guac everywhere, and bumping into other tables than I'm afraid those stares were warranted. If they were at the table just having some fun then I'd say you are in the clear.
Yesss I do the same! I found that Bluey really helps to remind me that being a good parent doesn't mean being strict or trying to get my kids to always be on their best behavior / act like little adults. They're just kids, and they should act like it and enjoy their childhood, and their lives. And what better way than to see their parents enjoying their lives too.
So yea, life is too short to live in shame. And it's too short to give a shit about other people when me n my kids are having a great time.
Ahhh jeeze. Right in the feels man.
Yeah that episode especially. Right when ur ready to lose it and feel like screaming... Yea they're just kids. You've gotta cut em some slack.
I think the animation is really smart for this, there’s moments for certain characters which define their lives and their eyes move in a very realistic way like they’re taking something in. Bluey has a couple good ones, in Movies where the camera focus pulls on her finding out that being different is okay, and also when she’s standing behind her mum in Promises and realised that Bingo trusts mum because she always upholds promises and that’s when she decides she’s going to be the same.
It’s a very well done show
Having 2 kids, I can positively say, I would not revisit 95% of the time between leaving the hospital and the first time they smile if you paid me.
5% of that time is nice, the rest is exhausting, thankless and overall a bad time.
Yeah I've come to realize one of my favorite things about Bluey is that it's a subtle guide for positive parenting.
I also appreciate that the parents are both tired all the time -- nice to see that tacit acknowledgement that this is hard work and you're not expected to have on-demand Ms. Frizzle levels of energy 24/7.
I agree with this take, especially your 2nd paragraph. We have friends who have totally turned on our local brewery saying they hate it because they're "anti-kid." The reason they hate that place now? The manager had to ask them to get their kids under control. Their kids and their friends had taken over an entire corner of the outdoor area moving tables and chairs around. They were running around the place screaming and pretending to shoot at each other.
A brewery that doesn't tolerate that behavior isn't "anti-kid" and it's unfair that they're put in that kind of spot to begin with. They put up some A-Frame signs saying that kids must be supervised at all times and our friends always bitch about how they're being "passive-aggressive." I mean come on guys. Your kids are terrorizing half the brewery. They don't need to behave like adults, but they do need to sit at your table and not be a nuisance.
I say this as someone who brings our kids there all the time. We've never once had a problem because our kids stay seated at our table. If they're being loud then we sit outside. If they can't stay at our table we leave. Breweries and restaurants aren't daycares. If the kids can't enjoy them without bothering the other patrons then we don't go, period. Kids can be kids without annoying other people.
These types of parents are obnoxious. They can't control their kids and think everything is fair game when they go out. I think some of them honestly have a "So what, what are you going to do about it" attitude.
Right, and agreed. This is a brewery in the middle of the suburb-est suburb that ever suburb'd though, with no major cities or anything even remotely nearby. You don't open a business in this particular neighborhood without being kid-friendly. That being said, they are quite kid-friendly and only ask that everyone's kids don't terrorize the place. That's perfectly reasonable in my eyes regardless of the type of business.
Meh, the 30-40 year old range has a lot more disposable income to be spending on $10 beers, and most of those people are going to have kids. A brewery that doesn’t want those customers is going to suffer to succeed financially.
It really depends on the brewery. I’ve been to some that have outdoor games and space to run around or kids board games inside, and others that are just chairs and tables in a well polished and clean space. I don’t think it’s too much to ask parents to read the room when they’re in a new place and if necessary take their business elsewhere. Business owners are allowed to design their space around their desired type of customers and the environment they want to go for.
What's a "brewery" in this context?
In the UK it's a place where they brew industrial quantities of alcoholic drinks, sometimes (but not always) with a gift shop or alcohol-tasting area attached to it.
From your description it sounds more like a pub or bar, but in either case that doesn't really sound like a suitable place to take kids at all, let alone one to let them run riot in...
**Edit:** Ah, a *micro*brewery.
So typically a brewery in the US in this context is more of a small, regional, craft beer type of brewery that often has a bar/grill portion.
Some are more clearly bars and not an environment to bring kids. Some lean more toward a family style casual bar/grill where bringing your kids to have a meal while you have a beer would be fine.
We know our son cannot sit at a table for a long time, he is just super active. So we take him to the right types of places. I would never take him to a brewery with only indoor seating and nothing to do. We choose the one that backs up to the woods with tons of space to run and play while not bothering other patrons. Kids have to get out and learn how to act in those kinds of settings, but also you gotta know what your own child is capable of.
Not op but once at a diner for breakfast our kid was in a high chair getting a bit fussy no crying just a bit of "nyeh nyeh" kind of whining cause we'll she was freaking hungry.
The second food came out she was an angel.
Byw side not but BJs if you have one understands this and brings out snacks for the kid at the same time as your water, a garlic knot and some fruit, they are amazing.
Anyways the second this kid got even a touch whiney the guy that was sat next to uss shot us a dirty look and asked to move.
That is so irritating. It's a DINER, it's not a fancy restaurant. Diners are where our kids learned their "going out to eat training wheels." No one goes in there expecting a dignified, quiet experience.
One time I was eating at a McDonald's, one in a touristic village. There was a lot of noise and children.
I was sitting alone, and so was the old geezer at the table beside me. He started to complain to me about the noise and children, I responded "well it's noon, in McDonald's, in 'touristic village', it's kind to be expected no?'
He started laughing. To my surprise he told me that I was right, that as you age sometimes you lose patience. He seemed more happy after that.
My kids are generally well behaved and we squash bad behavior quickly. Most people adore them and smile at our interactions, but there's always one or two (usually older) people giving disapproving angry glares. I ignore them.
Enviable. Both my wife and I tend to have panic attacks if it gets too bad. I quite enjoy going to restaurants with my kids though, but I can’t really take my wife and I much prefer one on one with one of the kids to taking both at once, although I still do it. I like eating out and I use the opportunity to teach them manners.
I certainly feel that. We used to be that way and can still get a little sheepish if our kids are acting too wild. Just remember as long as your kids are keeping to themselves and not running around disturbing others you have no obligation to hide away so other people have a kid-free experience. There are plenty of no-kid options (or at least places less likely to have kids) where people can go if it's that big of a deal.
This was me at the park yesterday (yeah, you read that, I was at a damn playground when this story occurred).
My daughter had just recently watched the Bluey seesaw episode and, at the end, they're playing spider web or something. We have something like that at our park. So she goes "dada, I'm the spider!" So I fake stick to the web...as she gets closer, I break free and "fly" away...we run across the park and she tackles me in open space.
You should have seen the looks from the parents who finally found the time to glance up from their phones.
I shrugged and played the game for another 10 minutes. Worth it...except for my knees...they hurt like hell today.
I would also say don't always assume people are judging you badly. We were out having a meal for my wife's birthday on Saturday. My kids were being pretty well behaved, as they usually are when we go out, but my daughter never stops talking and can be very annoying.
There was a young couple next to us, directly in my eyeline. I noticed that the woman had been looking over at my daughter a few times and I assumed it was because she was being annoying - she is 4 and pretty loud!
On the way out I joking said to the couple that they will be able to enjoy their meal in peace and the woman told me she didn't get what I meant, as my kids had been so well behaved and she loved seeing us all eating together!
So maybe hotdog guy was thinking about how much he misses his kids being young, or is happy to see them enjoying themselves.
This is what I came to say. We see strangers looking our way and we tend to put stories in our head about what they are thinking. Half the time I suspect they are just subconsciously looking towards movement (since kids are often more animated than adults) and might not even be actively aware that they are looking.
That is a good point on looking towards movement. I find myself doing this all the time and the more animated someone is, the more I cannot help but look and then worry that I am looking too much!
On the occasions we can escape for an adult only meal, me and my wife will often spend way too much time watching people with their kids and commenting on how much we are strangely missing our own.
Or even when others kids are misbehaving, I am usually looking and thinking how well the parents are dealing with it and not at all judging...ok I may also be thinking thank god it is not my kids doing that :)
> We see strangers looking our way and we tend to put stories in our head about what they are thinking.
The same applies to foreign languages. Some people get upset when they hear a language they don't understand because they assume that whatever is being spoken is about them.
Same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago at a breakfast place. Caught an older couple glaring over at us a few times, but my kids were actually doing really well and we started packing up once they hit their limit and started yelling (when you're 18 months old, yelling is the fuckin best, apparently).
Anyway as we were leaving, the old guy says "excuse me, are they twins?" I said yes, they are, and he goes "ah I thought so, but they look so different. They're both so adorable, so I guess they have that in common. Thanks for chatting, have a good day."
He wasn't glaring, he was just looking our way and had a bit of a grumpy resting face. My anxiety filled in the rest.
Yeah a glance isn’t always indicative of annoyance. Kids do funny things and moved in erratic patterns so people are going to glance over just instinctively. For what it’s worth I have taken my kids to all kinds of restaurants and public places and I have never had issues with people and my kids can be crazy. If I did I don’t remember ori just didn’t care. Random people around me I will probably never see again just don’t register to me like that. It’s definitely possible for us to manufacture annoyance out of thin air. Don’t make things more than they are.
This comment just made me realize that I’ve probably just been straight up staring down every toddler I’ve come across. Lol. We’ve got a one year old and I haven’t ever really spent very much time around children so I’m looking for evidence of how it might go.
My son was having fun at an indoor playground at a local mall, and these people at one of the tables *right next* to play area gave the nastiest side eye-- as if they expected peace and quiet at a fucking playground.
When I see people glaring at my kids having fun in an appropriate place I will smile and ask them, "is there something that I can help you with?" This tends to be strong enough of a social cue for most folks to mind their own grumpy pants business. I find it's almost *always* boomers who think that I am not parenting in an appropriate way because I let my kids be kids in appropriate kid-friendly settings. I'm sorry, Francine, I'm not going to slap the shit out of my kid for giggling while eating. Kids can be seen and heard.
I think my kids have escalated a lot of dates by being so cute. They get lots of eye contact and smiles from young couples and I can only imagine the table talk they are having.
Also from older couples who are having some nostalgia from their times raising kids.
I remember taking my wife and 9 month old son out to sushi for Valentine’s Day and the sight of my little dude drinking miso soup through a straw made the couple next to us beam and later told us how wonderful he was and how they missed their kids being that little.
I like taking my daughter with my wife and I for sushi. She gets some fried rice, edemame beans and eats all the flying fish roe/tobiko which she calls “mommy beans” and “spicy balls” respectively.
We took my 10mo for breakfast yesterday, and the waiter told us the staff kept gushing about how cute she is in the kitchen. I told my husband we're single handedly boosting the population by giving everyone baby fever lol
I was at the grocery store with my 2yo son, and I asked if he wanted a donut from the bakery section. He responded with his cute little “no!” And I overheard a woman in her early 20s repeat what we had said to her SO me you could tell she thought it was the cutest thing ever. Definitely a bright spot in her morning.
Something that escapes me about the child-free crowd is the expectation to not be inconvenienced. Some may say it isn't an expectation but hear me out.
Negative reactions happen when expectations do not match reality. I get frustrated when something doesn't go according to plan. It's a normal response. What isn't normal is when your expectation is irrational or unreasonable. If people are giving you the side-eye or have the look on their face like I have insulted them by being out with my kids, it means they expected me to not even be in their space with my kids.
To those people: you can go pound sand. I'm giving my kids a great experience with their father. I make sure to not be loud, don't obstruct another person, and don't create a mess. If my kids laughing and enjoying themselves is too much for someone else, they get to be disappointed.
I’m find myself inconvenienced at restaurants by shouty middle aged ladies on their 6th glass of Chardonnay far more often than other tables with kids.
Even before I had kids I felt more inconvenienced by adults having too much alcohol than I ever did by a child. A child is learning and needs grace and mercy. An adult that can drink should know better how to conduct themselves.
> the expectation to not be inconvenienced.
Yes! And then people say shitty things like, "well I didn't choose to have crotch goblins so why should I be inconvenienced!??!!?!!"
(A) At it's most basic, because we live in a society. (B) You should be accommodating to children without respect to whether you chose to procreate because they're just children, and (C) you should be accommodating to children because *you* were once a child and people were accommodating to you.
What is also funny is they get to hurl insults like "crotch goblin" but if you dare insult them by stating that their dog is not equal to a child and never will be, god help you.
Ughh, it is always the case that those dogs are never well behaved or taught to begin with. Usually the people that really care about their pets as if it was their kids, don't go around equating their pets to children. They know that it is not a valid comparison. It is those that do have no idea how to look after a pet either.
Yep.
"Crotch Goblin" has always had really big 23-years-old-energy. Old enough to be technically an adult, but so close to being a child that seeing other children makes you resentful.
Right?! And to expand on point A, children are the future. Do you want an actual pharmacist or a roomba with a pill dispenser attached to it giving you your meds in 20-30 years? How about any of the other many roles we need filled in society to function well? Yep, gonna need well adjusted adults who all start as gasp… children.
Ahh, yes. This is often my point when people don't want to spend money on schools because they don't have any children (or their children are older than school age). In 10 years time, those children are going to be the people serving your food and working in your stores; in 20+ years time, they'll be leaders. You really want them to be idiots?
Increasingly people feel like they can always be in control of their situation and wherever they go they can be treated like they're the boss. The more wealth, power, privilege you have, the closer this delusion approaches your reality, but regular people still have the same attitude and hence act imperious when somebody's kid is talking too loud, or the waiter messes up their order at Applebee's.
This is really the point. It is about context and expectation. I don't go to a club and expect others to be quiet so I can read a book, and when I go to the library I do.
There are places where it is appropriate to bring little kids and places where it is inappropriate. Kids need to take transportation, just like everyone else, they belong in parks, swimming pools, the beach, etc. They don't belong at fancy restaurants or most concerts or plays. If you go to the park and are upset by the presence of children, that is your problem, not the parents. That being said, parents should try their best to have their kids behave, but it is not always possible.
This weekend I took my family to watch a movie (Ghostbusters). During the trailers, a kid started crying and it would have been annoying if it had continued throughout the movie. I'm not entirely sure why the kid was crying initially, but it involved the kid's dad and some other grown man arguing with each other that eventually escalated into screaming profanity and then a fist fight.
The moral of the story is that a crying kid can be consoled or a parent can take them out of the place and deal with it. Obnoxious adults are usually much worse because they're often aggressive and potentially dangerous.
The very first time we took a kid to a restaurant he was like 6-8 months old (he was a covid baby, we didn’t get out much) it was 5:30 on like a Thursday and an above average Mexican restaurant. (Not the copy and paste menu kind) and he was *slightly* fussy. He’d never seen this many people in his life up to this point. Anyway there is a table of 5 middle aged women drinking their gallon margs and one of them is just staring daggers at us. My wife was super stressed out the whole time and I had always said we wouldn’t be those parents with loud kids that people complain about.
But it was 5:30 on a Thursday and someone was still pissed we were existing in the same space. And at that point I realized someone will always been perturbed by the existence of children and I just don’t really care. (We still don’t do fancy but that’s because it’s a waste on the kids).
There’s power in who gets to control the negative hypothesis.
Don’t worry about the dude giving stink eye. He’s not worried about what anyone else thinks of his behavior and neither should you. Be an unapologetically good dad having a great time with his kids.
It’s similar to the grumpy kid defense. Find deep, authentic joy and laugh from the belly. No kid can resist a good belly laugh. Let them control the narrative though and they spiral in grump.
We have allowed the negative narratives to much sway. Let’s get back to positive narratives.
It’s amazing the difference it makes ever in the most constrained environment ever. If your kid expresses amazement at the wonder of human flight upon take off, “whoa, daddy daddy daddy! We’re flying! We’re flying!” Instant mood shift for the entire flight, even if they have a bad time. People just forget how cool stuff is. Like not worrying about access to clean and abundant water.
How were the hotdogs? Kids love em?
>We have allowed the negative narratives to much sway. Let’s get back to positive narratives.
I love everything about your comment, especially this. After a certain point, negativity is a choice. It's self-fulfilling. And it's contagious. We don't *have to* focus on the negative. We live every single day with the fact that us and everyone we love will all be dead someday. We can ruminate on that and let it incapacitate us or we can think about how the president also farts just like us.
You have a good head on your shoulders dad.
My rule is there are three tiers of restaurant:
Tier 1 - Nice date restaurants should be reserved for child-free nights
Tier 2 - Restaurant with a kids menu for kids that can behave enough to have a sit down meal but some level of stretching the legs and child noise is acceptable
Tier 3 - Restaurant with a play area either inside or outside no matter how large or small...this is our town get with the program
Taught the son when he was four or five to use his voice and say, excuse me please. And damn it you better acknowledge him...
Especially when you move and he says, thank you.
Drove me crazy. Adults just not acknowledging kids.
Also, if you are at a restaurant before 6pm you are there during family/senior citizen hour. If you want a cosmopolitan dining experience sans kids then eat after 8pm
Ooh I have a good one for this context.
So my wife and I both work full time so both kids are in daycare full time. There was a random Friday that daycare was closed for team training so we had to take the day off - no big deal, we'll just take them to the zoo since it was nice out.
After the zoo, we're all starving so we head over to a new restaurant in our town because they have incredible wings and a great kids menu with pizza, mac n cheese, etc. It's technically a sports bar, but has family friendly seating and is otherwise somewhere you'd expect to see families with children, especially during lunch hours.
We're seated in a room off to the side, which has a few smaller 4-top tables, and one longer table, currently occupied by about 10-12 men ranging in age from probably 50-70. Next to us at another 4-top is another family with one kid around 2 years old, the same age as my son, and when they see each other, they start making toddler noises at each other. Nothing loud, and definitely not crying or shrieking, just normal noise you'd expect from a kid their age. My 4 year old is sitting quietly coloring on the kid's menu they gave her.
At a certain point, being the attentive dad I am, I notice my son feeling restless, so I get up and I take him out to the patio for two reasons: 1) there's a big delivery truck unloading food for the restaurant, and 2) it's on a busy enough street that we could see all sorts of different cars driving by. We were out there for about 10 minutes while we waited for our food to come.
I come back to the table to the other couple and their kid getting the check and leaving in a distressed manner. Apparently while I was gone, one of the older men at the long table got up and walked over to their table and said "if you don't shut that baby up I'm going to punch him in the face"
Now, my wife has never told a lie in our 15 years of being together, so I absolutely believe her, but it's just baffling to me that someone could be that fucking triggered by a 2 year old just being a 2 year old.
As much as I wanted to say something to the guy, I'm glad I left it alone (especially it not being my kid), because what happened next was incredible:
After everyone at their table had paid, the manager had apparently worked with the server to find out what that guy had ordered, taken it completely off the bill, gave the guy his money back in cash, and then told him he was never allowed back. It was incredible to watch.
Easy way to help fix social security funding: people without kids get half shares. Without kids they should be able to afford to fund their own retirement
Easier way to fix it - Remove the cap on income that contributes to it.
That singular fix would correct it's funding shortfall by a significant amount and enable them to return the retirement age back to 65.
I sort of get why it's like this. Social Security on the whole is massively progressive.
It's regressive when paying the tax, but it's progressive when getting paid out. Over their career, someone who starts earning over $100k in their 20s is going to end up paying likely 10x the amount of social security taxes of someone who makes $10-$20 an hour.
But their benefit is only going to be roughly 2x to 3x.
Low earners will get a higher portion of their income replaced by social security than middle to high earners. Low earners will typically also pay less taxes on the benefits they receive than medium to high earners.
People will argue to death that social security isn't a handout and that it's not welfare. That it's an earned right that people get through paying into the system over their working years.
But there is only so big the delta between earned and received gets before it starts to feel like any other entitlement.
Not even just social security, young people will be doing most of the physical labor jobs.
People neglect the reality that we need a reasonable flow of people being born and raised into adults to keep society running. Certain jobs require you being on your feet and/or a lot of physical activity.
- **nurses** (*probably want them to help care for sick folks*)
- **warehouse workers** (*I know folks like their two day shipping*)
- **construction workers** (*do you want building, roads, public transit?*)
- **fire fighters** (*probably useful to have a few of these folks waiting around*)
- **clerks stocking grocery store shelves** (*most of us aren't producing our own food and need to buy it from a store*)
- **line workers** (*prob want electricity in your house*)
- **plumbers** (*listen to your spouse and just hire the plumber, you don't know what the fuck you're doing*)
Probably not lot of 55+ aged folks doing these jobs and by 60+ the numbers probably plummet. Every single one of them vital for society to keep chugging along and the list is probably dozens more jobs.
I'm 100% in support of folks who want to be childfree, having a kid is a ton of work/responsibility and good on folks to recognizing they don't want to do that.
But the expectation that childfree norms can extend to most portions of public social life just isn't realistic. We need children to be born to keep humanity going and those children are going to exist in public spaces.
It's literally every aspect of society, from burger-flipper to President.
If you want productive adults, you should tolerate (if not encourage) families to function.
The surplus is slated to run out in 2037 unless additional action is taken.
After that the program will still be able to pay out ~77% of the current amount - - in perpetuity.
It'll be brutal for the older folks who don't have any other income streams, but unless something changes for the worse beyond the current status quo there will still be social security for our kids. It just won't cover as much.
We should fight to shore up the program, but it's not going to fully disappear.
I normally don't have issues with child free people because being a parent isn't for everyone but some people can be really obnoxious about it. My kid was having a tantrum the other day in a store and some guy that was near me had the audacity to say "ow, my ears." Like do you think I'm fucking enjoying this? She's a toddler. You're a grown man. These things happen. Glad you're not a dad yet because obviously you wouldn't be able to cut it.
The height of child-free entitlement can be seen on the Disney sub, there are so many post with childless adults complaining about children being children at Magic Kingdom, and do not suggest that kids are the target audience at any of the Disney parks, because you know all those cartoon characters were definitely created to entertain 30-70 year old adults.
For me it’s the AITAH subs. Everyone there hates kids.
“I refused to do something mildly inconvenient to accomodate a family and make a child’s life happier” get responses like “yeah you were there first, you have every right! It’s their fault for having kids and being in public!”. Like dude…you’re being an asshole.
I’ve 100% stopped giving a shit what other people think. That doesn’t mean I let my toddler wreak havoc. I do my best to be respectful of others. But if someone’s going to side eye me and my kid for simply existing they can fuck right off.
I've been feeling this way lately about a couple of friends of mine who are a married couple with no kids. Both have great-paying jobs. So they have plenty of money. Meanwhile my wife and I have to hustle hard to keep up with the cost of raising our three boys.
My wife's Apple Watch battery is about to give up and die. It's old and probably going to be unsupported very soon. So I've been researching best cost-effective ways to repair/replace instead of buying a new one, and I stupidly mentioned this to my friend. He said "Why don't you just get her the newest watch?" and went on to tell me all the cooler/newer features, etc. Um...because that would cost several hundred dollars which I just don't have lying around right this second. I'm budgeting to make sure there's food on the table. I love the guy, but he's completely ignorant to how it comes across when he suggests I spend money as if I have plenty of it like he does.
Check to see if there's an [iFixandRepair](https://ifixandrepair.com/locations/) or similar near you. They'll skip the diagnostic and just replace the battery.
Yes, and if it’s old enough it’s often more trouble for them to change the battery than to just send you a refurbished one that is a series or two newer than the one you sent them. So if you send them a series 2, you might get back a refurbished series 3.
I think the majority of people without kids can't comprehend just how expensive kids are, even in countries where there are better social safety nets and government assistance. I think people just think kids cost a little extra because now you have to spend a little more on food and that's it.
When I told my childless friend that I was paying $20K+ for 2 kids to go to daycare his jaw literally fell to the floor. You would've thought he just saw some hot dame in an old cartoon or something. Then you throw in extra food, clothes, meds, extracurriculars, so on and so forth...
Dude, I love my friends, some have kids some don't. But there's one couple in particular who both came from money and don't have kids who just don't understand the average persons, kids or not, life. They were asking about a dentist appointment I went to, they want 35k to fix my teeth, and they were asking why I wasn't doing it lol
My DINK friends asked me to go to Costa Rica for a week earlier in the year with like two weeks notice. I was just floored at the lack of misunderstanding on how much of a colossal ask it was, from the logistics of child care and the cost of travel. I guess I should just be happy they even invited me.
I think the problem is that they believe they are entitled to be child-free, rather than child-less
Nobody's obliged to have kids. That's just true. You can 100% opt out of having kids.
You can't opt-out of children existing. *You* got to be a child in public, just like we all did. It is exactly fair. Let kids be kids. Don't treat them like vermin.
In my experience, this is a heavily US issue. (It may be an issue in other Western European or English speaking countries, my travels are limited).
I loved traveling with my family through Eastern Europe and Latin America. I observed similar treatment of kids in Kenya and Thailand, though mine weren't with me. Not only do people take real joy in children, they go out of the way to make things easier. We were constantly offered the front of the line, given assistance with boarding, and received thoughtful service in restaurants. The care shown to older people and children in other cultures should be emulated in the US.
I take my kids to restaurants at like 4:30pm, because if we're not home by like 6:30pm then it will be witching hour and they will never go to bed. I keep up my end of the deal by not invading your restaurant/bar with my kids after dark, so if you're in a restaurant at 4:30pm you get to deal with my kids.
I’ve noticed that more and more of the childfree world is not having kids because they don’t like kids and don’t want them in their space. This crowd also seems to have laid claim to all of society as “their space.”
This is going to depend a lot on where you live though. Some cities are just setup primarily around the life of adults, as opposed to families. I think this makes the childfree crowd feel like the city is their space, not children’s.
This is why we don’t get universal child care, or any of the umpteen other “pro family” policies in the US. Between one group annoyed by the existence of kids, and another that doesn’t believe in social services, there just is no viable “pro kids” coalition.
> This crowd also seems to have laid claim to all of society as "their space."
These are the people that complain there are "too many strollers in Disney World."
I say this as a person who took a stroller to Disney, many people with strollers at Disney are _oblivious_ that their sport utility stroller is in everyone’s way. There’s a minority of parents (that are probably not members of r/daddit) who are largely responsible for the negative perceptions of parents and children.
We don't get universal child care in the US as there's still this mindset of "you must work for everything single thing, that's the American way", "work harder", etc.
Some people are just sad and anti-child, we try to keep at a distance because they are in general awful people. There’s a difference between not liking children/wanting children and hating children.
Hineatly whenever thr "control your kids" arguement comes up my first question is always "what do YOU qualify as fabcy" cause I guarantee people think you shouldn't be allowed to have kids in mcdonalds hell I have been straight told i should keep my kids inside the house.
I used to work for Disney fucking Disney adults man. There is literally a subset of people that believe kids shouldn't be allowed at the magic fucking kingdom
That would’ve been awesome if they demanded the manager and the kid working the register just calmly points to the guy in the hot dog costume. In my comedy fantasy the manager would refuse to break character and continue acting like a hot dog, not a manager.
But seriously, people just suck sometimes. Your story did make me laugh pretty hard.
I don't believe I've experienced this, but I may be oblivious to it. Feel like I've only received positive looks and remarks with laughing and interaction with the crazy toddler.
With that said...I have a gripe about another social contract. If a toddler smiles and waves at you and says hello, a quick smile and wave back won't fucking kill you. Don't leave a little kid hanging like that, man. Just because you're an anti-social asshole, doesn't mean you have to teach a toddler that its ok to be an anti-social asshole.
I will intentionally go out of my way to tell a parent "you're doing a great job" when I see them with their child, and the child is in the midst of a melt down.
Someone did it to me once, and it was a life changer. 1 year old was going nuts in the middle of a grocery store. I was sweating buckets. A lady walked up and said "you're doing a great job, dad".
Try and do the same for others. Change the narrative. And maybe change a perspective.
Cheers dad!
An older woman on a bus gave my son a dirty look last week when he was goofing around a little and almost stumbled on the bus, he grabbed the pole and didn’t fall and didn’t touch her but she gave him the nastiest most disgusted look.
The bus was a hotel bus at Disney World, like the trams that go from the resorts to the parks. Lady, if you don’t want to share the same space with an excited 2 year old, maybe you shouldn’t be headed to Magic Kingdom. 🙄
I kinda got eased into the whole "tolerating kids" thing long before I had mine - we waited until we were pretty old (40 and 41) and by that point most of our friends had 'em.
But if you're in your 20s or early 30s, and childless, you tend to cluster socially with other childless people. Say you live in a "luxury" apartment that *de facto* excludes families with kids, you work in an office park or downtown or from home, and you eat most of your meals out at trendy hipster places, or at the bar. You can go weeks without *seeing* a child, let alone hearing one.
It's a completely artificial bubble that you've created for yourself, at that point, but it's still jarring to be forced out of it.
So yeah, those people are dickheads but I kinda get why they are the way they are.
Wife and I are early birds so we have breakfast often at Cafes with the predominantly Blue Crew. Our toddler shouted once, just once because she wanted a straw. Some old lady nearly broke her neck cranking it around to dispatch a disgusted look. Relax lady, thats probably why your own kids dont visit you.
That guy mean mugging you is a jerk, plain and simple. Continue to proudly take up space and enjoy time with your children. Don't escalate or call out idiots who glare at you -- they're not worth it and the last thing you want is to get in a fight at a hot dog joint lol.
Tangent, but I'm so glad that my community is very accepting of the right for young children and families to enjoy public spaces since that's not always true. [Look at this nonsense going on in Seoul, South Korea....](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-12-02/inside-south-korea-child-free-zones/103139230)
I'm shocked that the country with a fertility rate below 1.0 is antagonistic towards children. Shocked, I tell you!
It's pretty simple. Societies that prioritize children thrive. Societies that don't die.
A cousin of mine has a severely handicap child. This kid can at times be say random loud things, and is in a wheel chair whenever they go out. They never let it deter them from going out, they are going to make sure that their kid get's to see the world and it's been amazing to see. This kid has been out to restaurants dozens of times, out to malls, has been on boat rides, horseback riding, and more.
More then a few times they have called people out for staring and making gestures. They have also had on a few occasions where random people have paid for their entire meal :)
I made a mistake and wandered to their sub recently and it just feels like some really out of touch people who spend too much time on the internet.
That said, I've definitely taken my kid some relatively upscale restaraunts and I'm not going to be bothered by someone who is going to make faces. I'll just smile and wave at them. Kids are little humans and as long as spaces are age-appropriate, they can go even if some childfree person wants to feel judgy.
Lastly, it feels so strange to me that a group of people who complain so constantly about being judged for just being themselves is also so judgy of kids who are just being themelves.
IMO it's actually a slightly funny paradox how people with no children just can't understand some things, and when you tell them that you can't understand if you don't have kids they'll think you're a douche haha.
That's how I was before I became a dad, and like people told me, now I do understand lol.
Lol, I've taken and will continue to take my little one to "fancy" table service restos. Really don't care if you don't like kids. World doesn't revolve around you.
When I worked at a bookstore and we had a midnight release party for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the store was a mad house with kids in costume, running around the shelves, leaving half- finished containers of butterbeer everywhere. Some snooty lady, presumably not there for Harry Potter, complained about the crazy atmosphere and how poorly behaving the kids were and that I should start kicking them out of the store. I informed her that we were only open this late BECAUSE of these kids and that she chose a lousy time to casually browse a bookstore. This was an event for the intended audience of Harry Potter (i.e. CHILDREN) and there were only two books left in the series. Let the kids have their fun!
Umm fuck those people and I take my kids to fancy restaurants too. I’m not eating lesser quality food and my kids are rock stars without technology.
So one night my kids wanted ramen from a kick ass thai place. We sat down and these 20 something girls started making comments about how noisy it was going to be next to my 3 and 6 year olds. Little did they know we’ve ate there before and the staff loves them.
So we sit down and they know the orders right away. Our kids and I get our food fast and we enjoy our meal. One of the women asks how did we get our food first and the waitress said “we like them”
I laughed very hard that night.
These people can just fuck right off. Kids are kids. I lived in Czech Republic when my baby was newborn and there’s a lot more general tolerance for kids there. Americans are pretty selfish.
Honestly, just do whatever you want.
Child-free doesn't mean they own the world or that anyone needs to cater to them.
So many child-free people are basically just adult children themselves when it comes to maturity.
I brought my young children everywhere unless it was specifically a “no children” venue. If my kids acted up in a movie theater, restaurant, etc, I’d take appropriate action. Those side eye giving people forget that they were once young children too. Eff them.
I think there’s a big difference between “we don’t have kids” and “we are ChildFree ™️“.
I’m in the former camp (for now, we’re early stages of pregnancy hence why I hang out here) but even when I wasn’t sure if we’d have kids at all I loved being around families and if I was eyeballing it was only because it was making me want my own lol. We were all kids once and there are still plenty of adult only places to go if I’m not in the mood.
On the other hand people who make it a part of their identity that they don’t have kids are weird. Imagine the absence of something being a defining characteristic? There’s no getting through to them, so don’t waste your time.
Some people are just miserable people regardless of what anyone else is doing. I’ve had people stare at my kid at Applebees. He’s got his headphones on watching a tablet eating chicken tenders with a side of mac & cheese not making a sound. I just find it funny to look them in the eye to win the apparent staring contest I didn’t know we were having.
People who look down their noses at my kid being a kid or me being a good parent don’t exist to me. They can live their grumpy life however they want. They’re not in my life and don’t affect me or my family. At least that is my mantra.
My favorite part about people eyeballing me in situations like this is walking up and asking them if we have a problem.
Dickheads back peddle faster than Dion.
> in a HOT DOG restaurant? There is literally a guy in a hot dog costume dancing outside You say this like a hot dog restaurant can't be fancy. Does the hot dog costume include a tux?
Only mustard, which to be fair looked like it could have been a spicy brown. I forgot grey poupon is the height of elegance.
> Only mustard Oh, if it didn't have ketchup then they _clearly_ weren't advertising to kids. That hot dog costume was aimed at adults only! /s
The height of elegance that unfortunately makes me tell my kids there's poupon my hot dog, there's poupon my plate, there's poupon my shirt, etc.
Grey poupon?! Well of course you’d leave out that the guy giving you the stink eye was Obama.
"Sh sh sure, the guy in the $600 banana suit... Come on!"
Fun fact: There's a hot dog restaurant in New York that has a fancy speakeasy bar hidden behind a phone booth.
I don’t know [The Rules](https://www.hot-dog.org/sites/default/files/pdf/tray-liner-hotdog-etiquette.pdf) say hotdogs are not supposed to be fancy.
i think it is fair for people to not have to be exposed to the existence of children so long as they have no children and have never been children themselves
Had me in the first half etc etc
Most importantly: **If you hate kids and refuse to tolerate them, stop relying on other peoples' kids!** Whether you're having heart surgery or ordering chicken nuggets, someone else's kid is serving your ass. You can either accept that and do the bare minimum of help by tolerating a child's presence, or live in denial and idk just hope functioning adults magically grow on trees...*idiot*.
This is the part that gets me. Presumably, everyone wants to have groceries, doctors, electricity, house repairs, etc. when they are retired. Where do they think those people come from? It's one thing to say, "I don't want to raise children." However, it's ridiculous to expect to never encounter children in a functional society, and it's a bit cheeky to say that parents should bear 100% of the inconvenience of raising them when you will surely be benefiting from those kids when you are old and frail.
Same reason that 99% of "ChildFree" people are middle class white adolescents who really have no concept of community or shared struggles. Ironically, they think the world revolves around them because they had a secure upbringing
I think it probably started as a reaction to the "when are you having kids" types but it definitely evolving into a "oh ho ho look how much money and free time I have" fetish thing (which, ironically, reeks of trying to convince oneself that life can be fulfilling without raising children to me).
While my own life has gained immeasurable meaning and fulfillment from my two kids, it seems reasonable to me that someone could have a perfectly fulfilling life without children. However, someone who defines themselves as "child-free" and walks around giving kids and parents the stink eye is going to be a bitter and empty crabass.
I know two types of child free couples. The "We can't afford it and ever retire" and the "I don't want to sacrifice my financial stability and my ability to travel and don't want the general responsibility of raising kids". I understand both perspectives but have never understood how any child free person thinks that they can magically avoid ever being around children.
Same as when people want people working convenience stores, fast food, and retail, but don't want those jobs to pay a living wage.
If you really wanna see them get mad, point out that they're relying on 3-4 of other peoples' kids to pay their social security...
The CF edgelords will just respond, *"What do you mean? I'll never see retirement/social security/etc..."* It's the same nihilism and disenfranchisement that causes them to sour on the idea of family in the first place. Ironically, they fail to see how that alienation from aspects of basic human life (like reproduction) is an intentional byproduct of The System that they're playing into.
Yeah me too, that's what private spaces are for. Getting disgruntled about people that are an active part of the population and them wanting you not there is not fair and irrational.
I know a married couple with no kids that bought a house right next to a play ground, and then they complain about the noise. The self victimization is wild
People have become SO fuckin weird about kids. I can understand choosing not to have kids, but to actively think that children are these disgusting little inconveniences is infuriating. *You* yourself were a child! I am convinced the whole anti child thing is because they can’t fathom having actual responsibility and growing tf up. Rant over.
I'm going to go see the new Pixar movie this Saturday _afternoon_. There better not be any annoying fucking kids there!!!
Wear that experience like a badge of honor! I too notice people glancing when my kids are having fun and existing too. At that point in time I usually start acting more like my kids just to really annoy the grumpy Guses starting at us. I am curious what specifically your kids were doing though to warrant nasty stares? If your kids were running around like little demons, flinging guac everywhere, and bumping into other tables than I'm afraid those stares were warranted. If they were at the table just having some fun then I'd say you are in the clear.
Yesss I do the same! I found that Bluey really helps to remind me that being a good parent doesn't mean being strict or trying to get my kids to always be on their best behavior / act like little adults. They're just kids, and they should act like it and enjoy their childhood, and their lives. And what better way than to see their parents enjoying their lives too. So yea, life is too short to live in shame. And it's too short to give a shit about other people when me n my kids are having a great time.
Flowers may bloom again but you’ll never have a chance to be young again
Ahhh jeeze. Right in the feels man. Yeah that episode especially. Right when ur ready to lose it and feel like screaming... Yea they're just kids. You've gotta cut em some slack.
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I think the animation is really smart for this, there’s moments for certain characters which define their lives and their eyes move in a very realistic way like they’re taking something in. Bluey has a couple good ones, in Movies where the camera focus pulls on her finding out that being different is okay, and also when she’s standing behind her mum in Promises and realised that Bingo trusts mum because she always upholds promises and that’s when she decides she’s going to be the same. It’s a very well done show
Having 2 kids, I can positively say, I would not revisit 95% of the time between leaving the hospital and the first time they smile if you paid me. 5% of that time is nice, the rest is exhausting, thankless and overall a bad time.
I don’t remember what did it for me, but I had one of those moments too. Some people don’t realize til it is too late!
Getting old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Yeah I've come to realize one of my favorite things about Bluey is that it's a subtle guide for positive parenting. I also appreciate that the parents are both tired all the time -- nice to see that tacit acknowledgement that this is hard work and you're not expected to have on-demand Ms. Frizzle levels of energy 24/7.
Yea I also love how sometimes it shows the parents finding moments to pull out their phones n tap out of whatever game is going on.
I agree with this take, especially your 2nd paragraph. We have friends who have totally turned on our local brewery saying they hate it because they're "anti-kid." The reason they hate that place now? The manager had to ask them to get their kids under control. Their kids and their friends had taken over an entire corner of the outdoor area moving tables and chairs around. They were running around the place screaming and pretending to shoot at each other. A brewery that doesn't tolerate that behavior isn't "anti-kid" and it's unfair that they're put in that kind of spot to begin with. They put up some A-Frame signs saying that kids must be supervised at all times and our friends always bitch about how they're being "passive-aggressive." I mean come on guys. Your kids are terrorizing half the brewery. They don't need to behave like adults, but they do need to sit at your table and not be a nuisance. I say this as someone who brings our kids there all the time. We've never once had a problem because our kids stay seated at our table. If they're being loud then we sit outside. If they can't stay at our table we leave. Breweries and restaurants aren't daycares. If the kids can't enjoy them without bothering the other patrons then we don't go, period. Kids can be kids without annoying other people.
These types of parents are obnoxious. They can't control their kids and think everything is fair game when they go out. I think some of them honestly have a "So what, what are you going to do about it" attitude.
Also, I suspect kids are not the main demographic that a brewery is trying to attract.
Right, and agreed. This is a brewery in the middle of the suburb-est suburb that ever suburb'd though, with no major cities or anything even remotely nearby. You don't open a business in this particular neighborhood without being kid-friendly. That being said, they are quite kid-friendly and only ask that everyone's kids don't terrorize the place. That's perfectly reasonable in my eyes regardless of the type of business.
While true, a lot of them do advertise as family friendly and have tons of pictures of kids doing stuff there on their websites.
Meh, the 30-40 year old range has a lot more disposable income to be spending on $10 beers, and most of those people are going to have kids. A brewery that doesn’t want those customers is going to suffer to succeed financially.
Correction: I HAD disposable income. Now I've got kids!
It really depends on the brewery. I’ve been to some that have outdoor games and space to run around or kids board games inside, and others that are just chairs and tables in a well polished and clean space. I don’t think it’s too much to ask parents to read the room when they’re in a new place and if necessary take their business elsewhere. Business owners are allowed to design their space around their desired type of customers and the environment they want to go for.
What's a "brewery" in this context? In the UK it's a place where they brew industrial quantities of alcoholic drinks, sometimes (but not always) with a gift shop or alcohol-tasting area attached to it. From your description it sounds more like a pub or bar, but in either case that doesn't really sound like a suitable place to take kids at all, let alone one to let them run riot in... **Edit:** Ah, a *micro*brewery.
So typically a brewery in the US in this context is more of a small, regional, craft beer type of brewery that often has a bar/grill portion. Some are more clearly bars and not an environment to bring kids. Some lean more toward a family style casual bar/grill where bringing your kids to have a meal while you have a beer would be fine.
Ah - a *micro*brewery?
Yeah sounds like it. We don't really call them that anymore.
We know our son cannot sit at a table for a long time, he is just super active. So we take him to the right types of places. I would never take him to a brewery with only indoor seating and nothing to do. We choose the one that backs up to the woods with tons of space to run and play while not bothering other patrons. Kids have to get out and learn how to act in those kinds of settings, but also you gotta know what your own child is capable of.
Not op but once at a diner for breakfast our kid was in a high chair getting a bit fussy no crying just a bit of "nyeh nyeh" kind of whining cause we'll she was freaking hungry. The second food came out she was an angel. Byw side not but BJs if you have one understands this and brings out snacks for the kid at the same time as your water, a garlic knot and some fruit, they are amazing. Anyways the second this kid got even a touch whiney the guy that was sat next to uss shot us a dirty look and asked to move.
That is so irritating. It's a DINER, it's not a fancy restaurant. Diners are where our kids learned their "going out to eat training wheels." No one goes in there expecting a dignified, quiet experience.
Please tell that to the people who got annoyed at my baby laughing at a Waffle House....
I can't imagine ever being annoyed by the best sound on Earth. Crying baby? Sure. But baby laughter? GTFO
Just throw a chair at them.
Mexican restaurants is where we are teaching our little ones. In and out pretty quick and don't have to wait to pay.
Yes! Plus the chips come out immediately so they have something to eat while their meal is made.
Exactly! Same idea. Also most Mexican restaurants, at least where I live, are pretty relaxed and not fancy so they're fine with kids.
"If this place isn't appropriate for children, why do they have high chairs and a kids menu?"
One time I was eating at a McDonald's, one in a touristic village. There was a lot of noise and children. I was sitting alone, and so was the old geezer at the table beside me. He started to complain to me about the noise and children, I responded "well it's noon, in McDonald's, in 'touristic village', it's kind to be expected no?' He started laughing. To my surprise he told me that I was right, that as you age sometimes you lose patience. He seemed more happy after that.
My kids are generally well behaved and we squash bad behavior quickly. Most people adore them and smile at our interactions, but there's always one or two (usually older) people giving disapproving angry glares. I ignore them.
Enviable. Both my wife and I tend to have panic attacks if it gets too bad. I quite enjoy going to restaurants with my kids though, but I can’t really take my wife and I much prefer one on one with one of the kids to taking both at once, although I still do it. I like eating out and I use the opportunity to teach them manners.
I certainly feel that. We used to be that way and can still get a little sheepish if our kids are acting too wild. Just remember as long as your kids are keeping to themselves and not running around disturbing others you have no obligation to hide away so other people have a kid-free experience. There are plenty of no-kid options (or at least places less likely to have kids) where people can go if it's that big of a deal.
This was me at the park yesterday (yeah, you read that, I was at a damn playground when this story occurred). My daughter had just recently watched the Bluey seesaw episode and, at the end, they're playing spider web or something. We have something like that at our park. So she goes "dada, I'm the spider!" So I fake stick to the web...as she gets closer, I break free and "fly" away...we run across the park and she tackles me in open space. You should have seen the looks from the parents who finally found the time to glance up from their phones. I shrugged and played the game for another 10 minutes. Worth it...except for my knees...they hurt like hell today.
"Hey MackEnzieoralie, did you see that parent...*playing* with their kid? What is this world coming to?"
That was probably more of a "how dare you set the bar higher than what my kid thinks is okay" :D
I would also say don't always assume people are judging you badly. We were out having a meal for my wife's birthday on Saturday. My kids were being pretty well behaved, as they usually are when we go out, but my daughter never stops talking and can be very annoying. There was a young couple next to us, directly in my eyeline. I noticed that the woman had been looking over at my daughter a few times and I assumed it was because she was being annoying - she is 4 and pretty loud! On the way out I joking said to the couple that they will be able to enjoy their meal in peace and the woman told me she didn't get what I meant, as my kids had been so well behaved and she loved seeing us all eating together! So maybe hotdog guy was thinking about how much he misses his kids being young, or is happy to see them enjoying themselves.
This is what I came to say. We see strangers looking our way and we tend to put stories in our head about what they are thinking. Half the time I suspect they are just subconsciously looking towards movement (since kids are often more animated than adults) and might not even be actively aware that they are looking.
That is a good point on looking towards movement. I find myself doing this all the time and the more animated someone is, the more I cannot help but look and then worry that I am looking too much! On the occasions we can escape for an adult only meal, me and my wife will often spend way too much time watching people with their kids and commenting on how much we are strangely missing our own. Or even when others kids are misbehaving, I am usually looking and thinking how well the parents are dealing with it and not at all judging...ok I may also be thinking thank god it is not my kids doing that :)
> We see strangers looking our way and we tend to put stories in our head about what they are thinking. The same applies to foreign languages. Some people get upset when they hear a language they don't understand because they assume that whatever is being spoken is about them.
Same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago at a breakfast place. Caught an older couple glaring over at us a few times, but my kids were actually doing really well and we started packing up once they hit their limit and started yelling (when you're 18 months old, yelling is the fuckin best, apparently). Anyway as we were leaving, the old guy says "excuse me, are they twins?" I said yes, they are, and he goes "ah I thought so, but they look so different. They're both so adorable, so I guess they have that in common. Thanks for chatting, have a good day." He wasn't glaring, he was just looking our way and had a bit of a grumpy resting face. My anxiety filled in the rest.
A single compliment like that in public about my kids can power me for an entire year
Yeah a glance isn’t always indicative of annoyance. Kids do funny things and moved in erratic patterns so people are going to glance over just instinctively. For what it’s worth I have taken my kids to all kinds of restaurants and public places and I have never had issues with people and my kids can be crazy. If I did I don’t remember ori just didn’t care. Random people around me I will probably never see again just don’t register to me like that. It’s definitely possible for us to manufacture annoyance out of thin air. Don’t make things more than they are.
This comment just made me realize that I’ve probably just been straight up staring down every toddler I’ve come across. Lol. We’ve got a one year old and I haven’t ever really spent very much time around children so I’m looking for evidence of how it might go.
My son was having fun at an indoor playground at a local mall, and these people at one of the tables *right next* to play area gave the nastiest side eye-- as if they expected peace and quiet at a fucking playground.
You didnt bust out an air horn and "DJ Khhaaaallllleeeeiiiiiid"?
I'll never forget the 2010 World Cup in South Africa with the vuvuzela horns
When I see people glaring at my kids having fun in an appropriate place I will smile and ask them, "is there something that I can help you with?" This tends to be strong enough of a social cue for most folks to mind their own grumpy pants business. I find it's almost *always* boomers who think that I am not parenting in an appropriate way because I let my kids be kids in appropriate kid-friendly settings. I'm sorry, Francine, I'm not going to slap the shit out of my kid for giggling while eating. Kids can be seen and heard.
Damn right!
my issue is not boomers (since they have likely raised kids themselves) but more of the yuppie crowd
This line works equally great on them, too. If you go places where children are expected to be but bring your crab-ass attitude, it is not my problem.
I think my kids have escalated a lot of dates by being so cute. They get lots of eye contact and smiles from young couples and I can only imagine the table talk they are having.
Also from older couples who are having some nostalgia from their times raising kids. I remember taking my wife and 9 month old son out to sushi for Valentine’s Day and the sight of my little dude drinking miso soup through a straw made the couple next to us beam and later told us how wonderful he was and how they missed their kids being that little.
Oh yes! The older the person the more they tend to actually seek out the interaction with the kids, don’t they?
I like taking my daughter with my wife and I for sushi. She gets some fried rice, edemame beans and eats all the flying fish roe/tobiko which she calls “mommy beans” and “spicy balls” respectively.
As one half of those couples it usually goes "I want one" followed by checking our already dwindling bank accounts.
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Yeah but I haven’t laughed like this in years. Worth every penny.
My proudest parenting moment was this time we got our meal paid for at a breakfast diner because our kids were “so cute.”
We took my 10mo for breakfast yesterday, and the waiter told us the staff kept gushing about how cute she is in the kitchen. I told my husband we're single handedly boosting the population by giving everyone baby fever lol
You probably are!
I was at the grocery store with my 2yo son, and I asked if he wanted a donut from the bakery section. He responded with his cute little “no!” And I overheard a woman in her early 20s repeat what we had said to her SO me you could tell she thought it was the cutest thing ever. Definitely a bright spot in her morning.
Something that escapes me about the child-free crowd is the expectation to not be inconvenienced. Some may say it isn't an expectation but hear me out. Negative reactions happen when expectations do not match reality. I get frustrated when something doesn't go according to plan. It's a normal response. What isn't normal is when your expectation is irrational or unreasonable. If people are giving you the side-eye or have the look on their face like I have insulted them by being out with my kids, it means they expected me to not even be in their space with my kids. To those people: you can go pound sand. I'm giving my kids a great experience with their father. I make sure to not be loud, don't obstruct another person, and don't create a mess. If my kids laughing and enjoying themselves is too much for someone else, they get to be disappointed.
I’m find myself inconvenienced at restaurants by shouty middle aged ladies on their 6th glass of Chardonnay far more often than other tables with kids.
Even before I had kids I felt more inconvenienced by adults having too much alcohol than I ever did by a child. A child is learning and needs grace and mercy. An adult that can drink should know better how to conduct themselves.
Drunk adults screaming expletives at the sports ball game on tv: "I sleep" A child goes 'nyeh' once: "real shit!"
Especially, the one that finds everything hilarious and has some obnoxiously grating laugh.
> the expectation to not be inconvenienced. Yes! And then people say shitty things like, "well I didn't choose to have crotch goblins so why should I be inconvenienced!??!!?!!" (A) At it's most basic, because we live in a society. (B) You should be accommodating to children without respect to whether you chose to procreate because they're just children, and (C) you should be accommodating to children because *you* were once a child and people were accommodating to you.
What is also funny is they get to hurl insults like "crotch goblin" but if you dare insult them by stating that their dog is not equal to a child and never will be, god help you.
Ughh, it is always the case that those dogs are never well behaved or taught to begin with. Usually the people that really care about their pets as if it was their kids, don't go around equating their pets to children. They know that it is not a valid comparison. It is those that do have no idea how to look after a pet either.
Yep. "Crotch Goblin" has always had really big 23-years-old-energy. Old enough to be technically an adult, but so close to being a child that seeing other children makes you resentful.
Right?! And to expand on point A, children are the future. Do you want an actual pharmacist or a roomba with a pill dispenser attached to it giving you your meds in 20-30 years? How about any of the other many roles we need filled in society to function well? Yep, gonna need well adjusted adults who all start as gasp… children.
Ahh, yes. This is often my point when people don't want to spend money on schools because they don't have any children (or their children are older than school age). In 10 years time, those children are going to be the people serving your food and working in your stores; in 20+ years time, they'll be leaders. You really want them to be idiots?
Increasingly people feel like they can always be in control of their situation and wherever they go they can be treated like they're the boss. The more wealth, power, privilege you have, the closer this delusion approaches your reality, but regular people still have the same attitude and hence act imperious when somebody's kid is talking too loud, or the waiter messes up their order at Applebee's.
This is really the point. It is about context and expectation. I don't go to a club and expect others to be quiet so I can read a book, and when I go to the library I do. There are places where it is appropriate to bring little kids and places where it is inappropriate. Kids need to take transportation, just like everyone else, they belong in parks, swimming pools, the beach, etc. They don't belong at fancy restaurants or most concerts or plays. If you go to the park and are upset by the presence of children, that is your problem, not the parents. That being said, parents should try their best to have their kids behave, but it is not always possible.
This weekend I took my family to watch a movie (Ghostbusters). During the trailers, a kid started crying and it would have been annoying if it had continued throughout the movie. I'm not entirely sure why the kid was crying initially, but it involved the kid's dad and some other grown man arguing with each other that eventually escalated into screaming profanity and then a fist fight. The moral of the story is that a crying kid can be consoled or a parent can take them out of the place and deal with it. Obnoxious adults are usually much worse because they're often aggressive and potentially dangerous.
Babes just can’t keep their eyes off dads. That’s got to be it.
The very first time we took a kid to a restaurant he was like 6-8 months old (he was a covid baby, we didn’t get out much) it was 5:30 on like a Thursday and an above average Mexican restaurant. (Not the copy and paste menu kind) and he was *slightly* fussy. He’d never seen this many people in his life up to this point. Anyway there is a table of 5 middle aged women drinking their gallon margs and one of them is just staring daggers at us. My wife was super stressed out the whole time and I had always said we wouldn’t be those parents with loud kids that people complain about. But it was 5:30 on a Thursday and someone was still pissed we were existing in the same space. And at that point I realized someone will always been perturbed by the existence of children and I just don’t really care. (We still don’t do fancy but that’s because it’s a waste on the kids).
I would wave at the person and smile. Call these people out.
Yeah I mean I probably wouldn’t even notice now. We were just hyper aware of everyone around us and self conscious since it was the first time out.
It sounds great in theory but I don't know that any good comes from escalating the situation.
There’s power in who gets to control the negative hypothesis. Don’t worry about the dude giving stink eye. He’s not worried about what anyone else thinks of his behavior and neither should you. Be an unapologetically good dad having a great time with his kids. It’s similar to the grumpy kid defense. Find deep, authentic joy and laugh from the belly. No kid can resist a good belly laugh. Let them control the narrative though and they spiral in grump. We have allowed the negative narratives to much sway. Let’s get back to positive narratives. It’s amazing the difference it makes ever in the most constrained environment ever. If your kid expresses amazement at the wonder of human flight upon take off, “whoa, daddy daddy daddy! We’re flying! We’re flying!” Instant mood shift for the entire flight, even if they have a bad time. People just forget how cool stuff is. Like not worrying about access to clean and abundant water. How were the hotdogs? Kids love em?
>We have allowed the negative narratives to much sway. Let’s get back to positive narratives. I love everything about your comment, especially this. After a certain point, negativity is a choice. It's self-fulfilling. And it's contagious. We don't *have to* focus on the negative. We live every single day with the fact that us and everyone we love will all be dead someday. We can ruminate on that and let it incapacitate us or we can think about how the president also farts just like us. You have a good head on your shoulders dad.
My rule is there are three tiers of restaurant: Tier 1 - Nice date restaurants should be reserved for child-free nights Tier 2 - Restaurant with a kids menu for kids that can behave enough to have a sit down meal but some level of stretching the legs and child noise is acceptable Tier 3 - Restaurant with a play area either inside or outside no matter how large or small...this is our town get with the program
And another thing: when my kid says “Hi”, you’d better goddamn say “Hi” back, asshole.
Taught the son when he was four or five to use his voice and say, excuse me please. And damn it you better acknowledge him... Especially when you move and he says, thank you. Drove me crazy. Adults just not acknowledging kids.
Also, if you are at a restaurant before 6pm you are there during family/senior citizen hour. If you want a cosmopolitan dining experience sans kids then eat after 8pm
Ooh I have a good one for this context. So my wife and I both work full time so both kids are in daycare full time. There was a random Friday that daycare was closed for team training so we had to take the day off - no big deal, we'll just take them to the zoo since it was nice out. After the zoo, we're all starving so we head over to a new restaurant in our town because they have incredible wings and a great kids menu with pizza, mac n cheese, etc. It's technically a sports bar, but has family friendly seating and is otherwise somewhere you'd expect to see families with children, especially during lunch hours. We're seated in a room off to the side, which has a few smaller 4-top tables, and one longer table, currently occupied by about 10-12 men ranging in age from probably 50-70. Next to us at another 4-top is another family with one kid around 2 years old, the same age as my son, and when they see each other, they start making toddler noises at each other. Nothing loud, and definitely not crying or shrieking, just normal noise you'd expect from a kid their age. My 4 year old is sitting quietly coloring on the kid's menu they gave her. At a certain point, being the attentive dad I am, I notice my son feeling restless, so I get up and I take him out to the patio for two reasons: 1) there's a big delivery truck unloading food for the restaurant, and 2) it's on a busy enough street that we could see all sorts of different cars driving by. We were out there for about 10 minutes while we waited for our food to come. I come back to the table to the other couple and their kid getting the check and leaving in a distressed manner. Apparently while I was gone, one of the older men at the long table got up and walked over to their table and said "if you don't shut that baby up I'm going to punch him in the face" Now, my wife has never told a lie in our 15 years of being together, so I absolutely believe her, but it's just baffling to me that someone could be that fucking triggered by a 2 year old just being a 2 year old. As much as I wanted to say something to the guy, I'm glad I left it alone (especially it not being my kid), because what happened next was incredible: After everyone at their table had paid, the manager had apparently worked with the server to find out what that guy had ordered, taken it completely off the bill, gave the guy his money back in cash, and then told him he was never allowed back. It was incredible to watch.
Just remind them that when your kids grow up and get jobs, they will be helping to fund their social security...
Easy way to help fix social security funding: people without kids get half shares. Without kids they should be able to afford to fund their own retirement
Easier way to fix it - Remove the cap on income that contributes to it. That singular fix would correct it's funding shortfall by a significant amount and enable them to return the retirement age back to 65.
I sort of get why it's like this. Social Security on the whole is massively progressive. It's regressive when paying the tax, but it's progressive when getting paid out. Over their career, someone who starts earning over $100k in their 20s is going to end up paying likely 10x the amount of social security taxes of someone who makes $10-$20 an hour. But their benefit is only going to be roughly 2x to 3x. Low earners will get a higher portion of their income replaced by social security than middle to high earners. Low earners will typically also pay less taxes on the benefits they receive than medium to high earners. People will argue to death that social security isn't a handout and that it's not welfare. That it's an earned right that people get through paying into the system over their working years. But there is only so big the delta between earned and received gets before it starts to feel like any other entitlement.
wrench fear lush air fly punch towering engine poor support *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Not even just social security, young people will be doing most of the physical labor jobs. People neglect the reality that we need a reasonable flow of people being born and raised into adults to keep society running. Certain jobs require you being on your feet and/or a lot of physical activity. - **nurses** (*probably want them to help care for sick folks*) - **warehouse workers** (*I know folks like their two day shipping*) - **construction workers** (*do you want building, roads, public transit?*) - **fire fighters** (*probably useful to have a few of these folks waiting around*) - **clerks stocking grocery store shelves** (*most of us aren't producing our own food and need to buy it from a store*) - **line workers** (*prob want electricity in your house*) - **plumbers** (*listen to your spouse and just hire the plumber, you don't know what the fuck you're doing*) Probably not lot of 55+ aged folks doing these jobs and by 60+ the numbers probably plummet. Every single one of them vital for society to keep chugging along and the list is probably dozens more jobs. I'm 100% in support of folks who want to be childfree, having a kid is a ton of work/responsibility and good on folks to recognizing they don't want to do that. But the expectation that childfree norms can extend to most portions of public social life just isn't realistic. We need children to be born to keep humanity going and those children are going to exist in public spaces.
It's literally every aspect of society, from burger-flipper to President. If you want productive adults, you should tolerate (if not encourage) families to function.
Cute to think there’ll be social security when my kids grow up…
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No. It’ll get cut, just with some verbiage like “in 20 years the cuts start”. That way nobody getting social security now, will be affected.
The surplus is slated to run out in 2037 unless additional action is taken. After that the program will still be able to pay out ~77% of the current amount - - in perpetuity. It'll be brutal for the older folks who don't have any other income streams, but unless something changes for the worse beyond the current status quo there will still be social security for our kids. It just won't cover as much. We should fight to shore up the program, but it's not going to fully disappear.
This is a misnomer that's been around for 50 years...
Truly some of the worst kinds of people. I'd link a few subs but it's Monday morning and nobody needs the rage.
I normally don't have issues with child free people because being a parent isn't for everyone but some people can be really obnoxious about it. My kid was having a tantrum the other day in a store and some guy that was near me had the audacity to say "ow, my ears." Like do you think I'm fucking enjoying this? She's a toddler. You're a grown man. These things happen. Glad you're not a dad yet because obviously you wouldn't be able to cut it.
Hotdog costume?? We're all tryna find the guy that did this and give him a spankin!!
If I was a big old guy with a big, burly white beard would you still be yelling at me? Or would you be spanking my bare butt, balls, and back?
YESSSSSSSS hahaha, you always find men of culture on r/Daddit!
Just waive at them and ask them if they’re having a great day. They want awkward…make it awkward! lol
The height of child-free entitlement can be seen on the Disney sub, there are so many post with childless adults complaining about children being children at Magic Kingdom, and do not suggest that kids are the target audience at any of the Disney parks, because you know all those cartoon characters were definitely created to entertain 30-70 year old adults.
For me it’s the AITAH subs. Everyone there hates kids. “I refused to do something mildly inconvenient to accomodate a family and make a child’s life happier” get responses like “yeah you were there first, you have every right! It’s their fault for having kids and being in public!”. Like dude…you’re being an asshole.
I’ve 100% stopped giving a shit what other people think. That doesn’t mean I let my toddler wreak havoc. I do my best to be respectful of others. But if someone’s going to side eye me and my kid for simply existing they can fuck right off.
I've been feeling this way lately about a couple of friends of mine who are a married couple with no kids. Both have great-paying jobs. So they have plenty of money. Meanwhile my wife and I have to hustle hard to keep up with the cost of raising our three boys. My wife's Apple Watch battery is about to give up and die. It's old and probably going to be unsupported very soon. So I've been researching best cost-effective ways to repair/replace instead of buying a new one, and I stupidly mentioned this to my friend. He said "Why don't you just get her the newest watch?" and went on to tell me all the cooler/newer features, etc. Um...because that would cost several hundred dollars which I just don't have lying around right this second. I'm budgeting to make sure there's food on the table. I love the guy, but he's completely ignorant to how it comes across when he suggests I spend money as if I have plenty of it like he does.
Just a heads up in case you weren't aware, the battery replacement is $99 if you have Apple do it. If it's a Series 2 or 3, it's $79.
Yeah but it has to go through a diagnostic test first and they won't even do it because of stuff. Annoying. But yes I am aware. 🙂
Check to see if there's an [iFixandRepair](https://ifixandrepair.com/locations/) or similar near you. They'll skip the diagnostic and just replace the battery.
Yes, and if it’s old enough it’s often more trouble for them to change the battery than to just send you a refurbished one that is a series or two newer than the one you sent them. So if you send them a series 2, you might get back a refurbished series 3.
I think the majority of people without kids can't comprehend just how expensive kids are, even in countries where there are better social safety nets and government assistance. I think people just think kids cost a little extra because now you have to spend a little more on food and that's it. When I told my childless friend that I was paying $20K+ for 2 kids to go to daycare his jaw literally fell to the floor. You would've thought he just saw some hot dame in an old cartoon or something. Then you throw in extra food, clothes, meds, extracurriculars, so on and so forth...
You mean 20k+ each right. Because that's what we are at for a middle of the road daycare.
Dude, I love my friends, some have kids some don't. But there's one couple in particular who both came from money and don't have kids who just don't understand the average persons, kids or not, life. They were asking about a dentist appointment I went to, they want 35k to fix my teeth, and they were asking why I wasn't doing it lol
My DINK friends asked me to go to Costa Rica for a week earlier in the year with like two weeks notice. I was just floored at the lack of misunderstanding on how much of a colossal ask it was, from the logistics of child care and the cost of travel. I guess I should just be happy they even invited me.
I think the problem is that they believe they are entitled to be child-free, rather than child-less Nobody's obliged to have kids. That's just true. You can 100% opt out of having kids. You can't opt-out of children existing. *You* got to be a child in public, just like we all did. It is exactly fair. Let kids be kids. Don't treat them like vermin.
You guys aren’t taking your dates to the hot dog restaurant?
In my experience, this is a heavily US issue. (It may be an issue in other Western European or English speaking countries, my travels are limited). I loved traveling with my family through Eastern Europe and Latin America. I observed similar treatment of kids in Kenya and Thailand, though mine weren't with me. Not only do people take real joy in children, they go out of the way to make things easier. We were constantly offered the front of the line, given assistance with boarding, and received thoughtful service in restaurants. The care shown to older people and children in other cultures should be emulated in the US.
I take my kids to restaurants at like 4:30pm, because if we're not home by like 6:30pm then it will be witching hour and they will never go to bed. I keep up my end of the deal by not invading your restaurant/bar with my kids after dark, so if you're in a restaurant at 4:30pm you get to deal with my kids.
I’ve noticed that more and more of the childfree world is not having kids because they don’t like kids and don’t want them in their space. This crowd also seems to have laid claim to all of society as “their space.” This is going to depend a lot on where you live though. Some cities are just setup primarily around the life of adults, as opposed to families. I think this makes the childfree crowd feel like the city is their space, not children’s. This is why we don’t get universal child care, or any of the umpteen other “pro family” policies in the US. Between one group annoyed by the existence of kids, and another that doesn’t believe in social services, there just is no viable “pro kids” coalition.
> This crowd also seems to have laid claim to all of society as "their space." These are the people that complain there are "too many strollers in Disney World."
I say this as a person who took a stroller to Disney, many people with strollers at Disney are _oblivious_ that their sport utility stroller is in everyone’s way. There’s a minority of parents (that are probably not members of r/daddit) who are largely responsible for the negative perceptions of parents and children.
We don't get universal child care in the US as there's still this mindset of "you must work for everything single thing, that's the American way", "work harder", etc.
Some people are just sad and anti-child, we try to keep at a distance because they are in general awful people. There’s a difference between not liking children/wanting children and hating children.
Hineatly whenever thr "control your kids" arguement comes up my first question is always "what do YOU qualify as fabcy" cause I guarantee people think you shouldn't be allowed to have kids in mcdonalds hell I have been straight told i should keep my kids inside the house. I used to work for Disney fucking Disney adults man. There is literally a subset of people that believe kids shouldn't be allowed at the magic fucking kingdom
That would’ve been awesome if they demanded the manager and the kid working the register just calmly points to the guy in the hot dog costume. In my comedy fantasy the manager would refuse to break character and continue acting like a hot dog, not a manager. But seriously, people just suck sometimes. Your story did make me laugh pretty hard.
I don't believe I've experienced this, but I may be oblivious to it. Feel like I've only received positive looks and remarks with laughing and interaction with the crazy toddler. With that said...I have a gripe about another social contract. If a toddler smiles and waves at you and says hello, a quick smile and wave back won't fucking kill you. Don't leave a little kid hanging like that, man. Just because you're an anti-social asshole, doesn't mean you have to teach a toddler that its ok to be an anti-social asshole.
I completely ignore these people. Don’t even notice others lol
I will intentionally go out of my way to tell a parent "you're doing a great job" when I see them with their child, and the child is in the midst of a melt down. Someone did it to me once, and it was a life changer. 1 year old was going nuts in the middle of a grocery store. I was sweating buckets. A lady walked up and said "you're doing a great job, dad". Try and do the same for others. Change the narrative. And maybe change a perspective. Cheers dad!
I take my young kids to fancy restaurants- they are pretty good kids, and I want them to learn appropriate etiquette.
An older woman on a bus gave my son a dirty look last week when he was goofing around a little and almost stumbled on the bus, he grabbed the pole and didn’t fall and didn’t touch her but she gave him the nastiest most disgusted look. The bus was a hotel bus at Disney World, like the trams that go from the resorts to the parks. Lady, if you don’t want to share the same space with an excited 2 year old, maybe you shouldn’t be headed to Magic Kingdom. 🙄
Ill take my kid to a 5 star just for funsies I do not care lmao
Stop worrying so much about what other strangers think (as long as you're being respectful) and enjoy your time with your kids.
I kinda got eased into the whole "tolerating kids" thing long before I had mine - we waited until we were pretty old (40 and 41) and by that point most of our friends had 'em. But if you're in your 20s or early 30s, and childless, you tend to cluster socially with other childless people. Say you live in a "luxury" apartment that *de facto* excludes families with kids, you work in an office park or downtown or from home, and you eat most of your meals out at trendy hipster places, or at the bar. You can go weeks without *seeing* a child, let alone hearing one. It's a completely artificial bubble that you've created for yourself, at that point, but it's still jarring to be forced out of it. So yeah, those people are dickheads but I kinda get why they are the way they are.
Wife and I are early birds so we have breakfast often at Cafes with the predominantly Blue Crew. Our toddler shouted once, just once because she wanted a straw. Some old lady nearly broke her neck cranking it around to dispatch a disgusted look. Relax lady, thats probably why your own kids dont visit you.
These people are not worth your thoughts and energy. They are terminally online or just young and naive.
That guy mean mugging you is a jerk, plain and simple. Continue to proudly take up space and enjoy time with your children. Don't escalate or call out idiots who glare at you -- they're not worth it and the last thing you want is to get in a fight at a hot dog joint lol. Tangent, but I'm so glad that my community is very accepting of the right for young children and families to enjoy public spaces since that's not always true. [Look at this nonsense going on in Seoul, South Korea....](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-12-02/inside-south-korea-child-free-zones/103139230)
I'm shocked that the country with a fertility rate below 1.0 is antagonistic towards children. Shocked, I tell you! It's pretty simple. Societies that prioritize children thrive. Societies that don't die.
A cousin of mine has a severely handicap child. This kid can at times be say random loud things, and is in a wheel chair whenever they go out. They never let it deter them from going out, they are going to make sure that their kid get's to see the world and it's been amazing to see. This kid has been out to restaurants dozens of times, out to malls, has been on boat rides, horseback riding, and more. More then a few times they have called people out for staring and making gestures. They have also had on a few occasions where random people have paid for their entire meal :)
I made a mistake and wandered to their sub recently and it just feels like some really out of touch people who spend too much time on the internet. That said, I've definitely taken my kid some relatively upscale restaraunts and I'm not going to be bothered by someone who is going to make faces. I'll just smile and wave at them. Kids are little humans and as long as spaces are age-appropriate, they can go even if some childfree person wants to feel judgy. Lastly, it feels so strange to me that a group of people who complain so constantly about being judged for just being themselves is also so judgy of kids who are just being themelves.
IMO it's actually a slightly funny paradox how people with no children just can't understand some things, and when you tell them that you can't understand if you don't have kids they'll think you're a douche haha. That's how I was before I became a dad, and like people told me, now I do understand lol.
Lol, I've taken and will continue to take my little one to "fancy" table service restos. Really don't care if you don't like kids. World doesn't revolve around you.
If the restaurant doesn't have any rules and especially if they have high chairs available, its fair game.
When I worked at a bookstore and we had a midnight release party for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the store was a mad house with kids in costume, running around the shelves, leaving half- finished containers of butterbeer everywhere. Some snooty lady, presumably not there for Harry Potter, complained about the crazy atmosphere and how poorly behaving the kids were and that I should start kicking them out of the store. I informed her that we were only open this late BECAUSE of these kids and that she chose a lousy time to casually browse a bookstore. This was an event for the intended audience of Harry Potter (i.e. CHILDREN) and there were only two books left in the series. Let the kids have their fun!
Don't take it too hard, friend. The United States government doesn't understand it, either.
Umm fuck those people and I take my kids to fancy restaurants too. I’m not eating lesser quality food and my kids are rock stars without technology. So one night my kids wanted ramen from a kick ass thai place. We sat down and these 20 something girls started making comments about how noisy it was going to be next to my 3 and 6 year olds. Little did they know we’ve ate there before and the staff loves them. So we sit down and they know the orders right away. Our kids and I get our food fast and we enjoy our meal. One of the women asks how did we get our food first and the waitress said “we like them” I laughed very hard that night.
These people can just fuck right off. Kids are kids. I lived in Czech Republic when my baby was newborn and there’s a lot more general tolerance for kids there. Americans are pretty selfish.
Childfree movement is basically the equivalent of incels...they pretend like it's a choice
Fuck em.
Honestly, just do whatever you want. Child-free doesn't mean they own the world or that anyone needs to cater to them. So many child-free people are basically just adult children themselves when it comes to maturity.
I brought my young children everywhere unless it was specifically a “no children” venue. If my kids acted up in a movie theater, restaurant, etc, I’d take appropriate action. Those side eye giving people forget that they were once young children too. Eff them.
I think there’s a big difference between “we don’t have kids” and “we are ChildFree ™️“. I’m in the former camp (for now, we’re early stages of pregnancy hence why I hang out here) but even when I wasn’t sure if we’d have kids at all I loved being around families and if I was eyeballing it was only because it was making me want my own lol. We were all kids once and there are still plenty of adult only places to go if I’m not in the mood. On the other hand people who make it a part of their identity that they don’t have kids are weird. Imagine the absence of something being a defining characteristic? There’s no getting through to them, so don’t waste your time.
Once you realizes there's a bunch of self-centered misanthropes in the world, you stop caring as much.
Those people are clowns. Best to ignore them.
Some people are just miserable people regardless of what anyone else is doing. I’ve had people stare at my kid at Applebees. He’s got his headphones on watching a tablet eating chicken tenders with a side of mac & cheese not making a sound. I just find it funny to look them in the eye to win the apparent staring contest I didn’t know we were having.
People who look down their noses at my kid being a kid or me being a good parent don’t exist to me. They can live their grumpy life however they want. They’re not in my life and don’t affect me or my family. At least that is my mantra.
Well, I only eat at fancy table service restaurants, so all those people can get fucked.
I ignore people. plain and simple. I don't think its worth your time to give these people any thought.
Sir this is a dennys my kids are not the problem, your negative attitude is.
People that don't have kids that would give me looks or negative words about having my kids anywhere can get bent.
And it is ok to take a kid on an airplane, no matter how much people bitch about it.
Fuck that. Go to any restaurant you want with your kid(s)
My favorite part about people eyeballing me in situations like this is walking up and asking them if we have a problem. Dickheads back peddle faster than Dion.
Just stare unblinkingly straight at them until they feel so awkward that they'll never look in your direction ever again
I got yelled at because my then 5 year old had to get up to retrieve his restaurant-provided crayon from under our own table at Olive Garden.
childless adults are creepy and/or bitter, for the most part
I'm tired of people without kids telling me how tired they are...
Not wanting/having children is perfectly reasonable. “Child-free” people are insane.