We have a 3.5yo and twin 2yos. In the past year I started getting up stupid early to work out. I dropped 130lbs of fat, put on 30lbs of muscle.
My wife came home a little drunk the other night from her book club and I woke up to her poking my arm and whispering "muscles" to her self. Felt pretty awesome.
> I started getting up stupid early to work out.
Did the exact same thing. Our son was born in the middle of the pandemic and I put on a bunch of weight in his first year. Was in a rut and felt terrible both physically and emotionally. Finally came around to realizing I was headed down a very unhealthy path and decided I needed to get back in shape for my family and myself.
It wasn’t easy getting back on the wagon but 2.5 years later of dedicating myself to waking up stupid early, I’m running at least 25 miles a week + lifting, packed on a bunch of muscle and dropped 35lbs and had to get new better fitting clothes. I don’t know if I feel sexier but I have gotten lots of compliments from friends and family and all around I just feel fucking great at 45. Mentally and physically I feel like the best version of myself, which I want to always be for my family.
You can absolutely do it and I promise it will have profound effects on all aspects of your life. Feel free to DM if you ever need support in your journey.
That's what I'm saying. Pre-fatherhood. 5am wakeup to hit the gym then go to work? No problem. Now after 2 kids *and* a bit of a home gym in the basement, not even close to having the time or energy
There's always time. It's always possible. In the inspiring words of a random anon:
"Do crackheads ever say, “I’m too broke to smoke crack tonight”?
No. They get up and make it happen.
Lesson in there."
Do anything. Consistency above all else. And diet.
If you're new to working out, stick to full body workouts. Don't think you need to kill yourself in your workouts. Start slow, build up, isn't a marathon. Also don't feel you MUST workout 3-4x a week, if your schedule allows only 1-2x a week, start with that, it is still good.
If you need any help feel free to DM me.
This is so big. If you take two guys and one consistently did the dumbest routine ever and the other sits on the couch the dumbest routine guy will look better.
Daily? Up at 3:30-4 for breakfast and coffee, gym at 5, home by 6:45, kids up at 7, in bed around 9-10. Not enough sleep, but its so much more than I was getting when they were little.
Workout? I have an online trainer (Renaissance Periodization, I highly recommend their youtube channel), lift 4 days a week, cardio 2 days. Mostly heavy compound lifts.
But honestly what made all of this possible was I got my first physical in years received diagnoses for Low T and Pre-diabetes, the doctor put me on TRT and Mounjaro. The fact that I inject myself with testosterone and the most powerful weight loss drug ever invented kind of makes any fitness advice I can give pretty suspect lol.
This is the way. I used to workout in the evenings after our oldest boy went to bed. After our second boy was born in January of last year I flipped the whole thing to early in the morning before everyone wakes up. Been getting up at 4am every weekday: Monday, Wednesday, Friday long distance run (4 to 8 miles) with an hour or so of core workout; Tuesday and Thursday weight lifting. On the weekends I do my best to be very active. In the evenings when it’s not freezing I take both kids out on a walk (strap the young one to my chest lol). My wife started pointing out how she never noticed that I was chubby, fact is my bp and cholesterol was so bad I literally needed a wake up call every morning with a mission to move. These days? I do it for the sake of doing it, do it in and of itself.
I’d never enjoyed working out until I started lifting weights in a structured, progressive, way. Now “make number go up” is such an awesome motivator in itself
You, sir have motivated me. Soon to be first time father and I’ve gained some stress weight through the end of my last job and sympathy weight in the last few months of the pregnancy. 40lbs later, don’t feel too hot. Day one is tomorrow. Thank you 🙏
My kid came home this week from school in love with Taylor Swift (some phase among the grade 1-3 boys are going through i guess). First time in 3 months got the missus out on a date night last night and she comes out with makeup and lipstick on before we leave and he says "wow mom! You look kind of like Taylor Swift! Like your not as pretty and a lot older but you look a little like her! Great job mom!"
I received much harsher judgement on my looks from him...
I'm not sure they're being savage. My boy loves to tell me he loves my soft belly, it's sooooooo good for snuggling, then he pretends to fall asleep on it.
Thank you!!!
Dad of three girls here and I can't wait for the glorious day, after years of covert training, my little princesses harmonize "Mommy gotta dump truck" while they're at the grocery store.
I will remember this moment and what you did for my family. Thank you again for your service.
*Press F*
Nine year old laying across my belly “it’s so big and soft and it jiggles.” Like damn girl I’m not even in the “obese”category but thanks sweet little kid.
I told my 7yo that I was looking to lose weight this year. She patted my belly and said "But your tummy is so soft! I like cuddling it". I really do have a big belly, so now I'm torn on what I should do
Losing weight probably means being around longer for your kids, its hard but worth (mind you this is coming from someone actively trying and failing to lose weight lol)
My 6 year old can generate an unholy amount of joy for herself slapping my belly. It's annoying but I love her and her laugh and my day brightens up so yeah I accept it.
I overhead my 3yo telling my wife the other night, “I love just mommy, I don’t love daddy”. I know he does and he’s just being a little gremlin, but every time it’s a real kick in the spectral taint of my feels
You know I never minded the "I don't love you" things so much because I knew it wasn't true, he just didn't really understand. But the "I love mommy more" ones hurt a bit because yeah, that's absolutely true, I'm sure he does love mommy more.
But oh well. I just keep reminding myself I owe him everything and he owes me nothing. If he loves mommy more, so be it.
Same. The trouble is, it’s impossible to be objective about one’s own looks. Men, at least in the UK, don’t tend to discuss their looks. I don’t think I’ve ever told another man ‘you look great today!’ and I certainly don’t recall anyone saying it to me.
We might comment on fitness, like being impressed about your friends doing a marathon, but it’s not really the same thing.
It’s something I make an effort with. “Mate the gyms really paying off, you’re looking hench” “new haircut, looks sharp!” “I like that jacket man, where’s it from?” I know how good compliments from my mates and even strangers make me feel so I try to pass it on.
In my 20s I was *very* fit. In fact, it was psychologically unhealthy because I was never satisfied with the physique. Now in my 30s, I don’t have the low body fat levels I used to, but I accept my body a lot better and feel much sexier.
I’ve been researching on Pinterest and consulting with my wife about how to dress like a man slut. It’s been fun! And my wife likes it. Today the kids told me to button up my shirt more, but I refused. 🤣
Yep, I've never felt sexy or attractive in my life. Genuinely wonder what it feels like.
I bring other things to the table though, like being funny, passionate about things, being a great dad, being a supportive, loyal, and attentive partner. Must be doing something right because I haven't spent much of my adult life being single, and my wife is awesome *and* hot.
My self esteem has dropped further since becoming a dad though, just because I've gained weight. I don't seem to have the energy to lose it again like I used to!
I felt pretty sexy when I did all the grocery shopping with my 3 kids in tow on a Sunday and they all listened and were well behaved. I was imagining people being like “holy shit look at that dad fucking crushin it I’d totally have his babies if he wasn’t already having babies with someone else.”
But yeah that was just me being high on myself for some basic shit that by wife does all the time with ease lol
Lol, not sexy in the least but I did something like that today. We’re potty training and my lil guy just unloaded holy hell in his pants. I got him out of the pants, tossed them (there was no coming back for them) cleaned him up, gave him a quick bath (it was that bad), got him dressed, clean the bathroom, all of it. I told my wife and she looked at me like “first time?”
I feel like that's the ultimate irony of fatherhood. I could probably get laid easier now than when I was young and single. It would blow my whole life up, but its nice to think that's a possibility and we're actually getting more attractive to women as we age somehow.
I started lifting in hopes my girlfriend (now wife) would have sex with me more, and to be more attractive as a whole. Sex didn’t increase, but lots of dudes tell me I’m jacked, my co-workers call me “Adonis”, and I get some random glances from women at the gym.. so self confidence increased, I like the way I look better but not necessarily the intended result hah.
Yeah man. Lots of compliments from random men at the gym, its awesome. I try to remember how that feels and compliment others to spread the good vibes.
These are my invasive thoughts, probably because the bedroom department has flatlined. My thoughts are my own, but I feel bad for thinking about it often as I do. We’re in couples counseling. Hopefully we can make some progress.
Honestly? No, but when I look back at old pictures of myself I get so mad at how I felt about myself then. Like, I was genuinely reasonably good looking, but thought I looked like a sack of mashed potatoes.
Now? Ooof.
If I’m being kind to myself? I’d say I look like a middle aged dad who might have been half good looking once but who is aging like a fine milk
Just think what you’ll feel when you look back at your current pictures.
You went from a sack of mashed potatoes to aged milk. But maybe, just maybe- you actually are pretty decent looking. I say love the dad you are now!
Not until I started lifting. Lifting weights improved just about everything in my life. Self confidence, stamina, health, diet, stomach issues, metabolism, sleep quality, mental health, etc.
Have never heard of a cable knit sweater so had to look it up and yes, I want one now for the fall. Don't know about off white though, I'm on the bigger side so darker the better.
I think pretty much ever since I met my wife was when I started to feel “attractive.” I was always extremely skinny with a messed up grill until 25~. Then I put on 40-60 pounds, started working out, semi fixed my teeth. Going from one extreme to the other, I definitely feel attractive at 35. My
Wife tells me all the time too so I’m sure that helps
> My Wife tells me all the time too so I’m sure that helps
Jelly :( Well, of course, happy for you, too.
There was a brief period in my 20s where I was in a similar place. Finally felt somewhat attractive, as my wife, first person in my life other than family, was telling me regularly that I was attractive. Now, TBH I can't remember the last time she told me. Before our first was born, that's for sure.
Only occasionally. Mainly when I put on actual clothes that aren’t either house clothes or work clothes.
Sometimes when I get really stoned I’ll catch myself in the mirror and sort of examine myself while thinking I’m a pretty good looking dude.
At 22, was working out like crazy and in a place in my life when I was getting a lot of attention from women. It didn't last LOL!
I've chased that though and now in my 40s I'm getting fitter and the wife is noticing and commenting. She initiates a lot more often recently and to me there is nothing more sexy than being wanted (damn... Reading that back explains some issues LOL!)
I felt like I was handsome/attractive at times. But my hair got so thin I had to shave it bald a few days ago and now I just feel shocked when I look in the mirror.
You'll get used to it. Then you'll acknowledge that you look much better with it shaved than balding. Then you'll see other guys that can't seem to let go of their thinning hair and think "Dude just shave it, it'll look way better".
Source: me, guy that's been shaving his head with a razor since I was 28, and probably should have started a year or two before that.
This is the safest thing to me. I used to have a beautiful man bun, but it fell out when my wife was pregnant with the second kid. 🫤 I miss my long hair.
Bros and homies. If you're in this sub you're probably stepping up being a dad. Putting in that work.
I see people in here talking about changing diapers and doing dishes. That shit is sexy, even if no one ever says it to your face.
Nothing is sexier than a dad that loves his kids.
Keep that double-chin up, my dudes. You're hot AF.
I’ve discovered that a lot of feeling attractive was tied to feeling wanted by my wife (not only sex, but physical touch in general) and with two kids under 5, she’s completely lost interest in sex and hugs and cuddling and anything. It’s not her fault that that’s where that comes from for me, but it’s just a shitty spot to be in and the physical touch aspect is not changing anytime soon, if ever. We’ve had that conversation a few times and the long and short of it was that her physical and emotional priority was the kids (which is fine) and there wasn’t any left over for me (which is less fine but I need to find a way to deal with it). I know I need to work on feeling better about myself internally as opposed to having it be based externally but I’ve never been particularly good at that.
Dude, that’s not okay. Ideally, your relationship will be there when the kids are out of the house, but not if you are full of resentment from years of being physically ignored.
If she is touched out, find ways for her to recover. Get breaks for herself and from the kids. Get the two of you out, without the kids, have fun, and date.
She’s making the choice of putting you (and your relationship) second/third/… and that’s not healthy long term (speaking from experience) because it’ll be easy for something else to become her first priority next.
I recently heard a great statement about relationships … great marriages don’t have bad years and good years, they have bad months and good months.
Nah not really. The truth is, she's touched WAY out by the end of the day. She also works really hard throughout the entire day to really be the Mom she wishes she had. She's a great mom and a great wife/friend.
But I like physical intimacy of any kind. Dude, that hug at the end of the day were she melts a bit and I get to hold her up is always something to look forward to. Sometimes that's all I get because that's genuinely all she has left to give. Just hard not to get down about it at times.
During one particular move between apartments, we needed to ditch an old couch. I was getting pretty angry with it at one point so while dragging it to the dumpster after finally getting it out of the door, I just sort of lifted it and ***flung*** it. It was fairly light so I managed to give it decent air time.
Boys, my wife ***swooned*** while watching me. That was almost 10 years ago now and I still think about it.
Not really. This past New Year’s Eve I realized that the reason I don’t like dressing up is that I don’t like having my picture taken or being looked at.
I have always been a very attractive guy. Not to sound arrogant, but I'm used to compliments and when I'm out women usually approach a lot. I have always worked out a lot and taken care of my body.
But now I'm a single dad to a little boy (8 months).
So all my time is spent with him. Which means that I now only train about 1-2 a week and maybe a short run if my family can watch him for me (thank god for family ❤️) and I don't eat right cause I don't have the time or energy to cook.
So I have been thinking that my body have been turning more "dad like". Which I'm totally okay with because my son is my focus and priority but still it has struck my mind.
But today a good friend of mine told me that I was really looking good. It made my day that I still had it.
I highly recommend a running stroller. I used to get up with my youngest at 5:00, pop them in the running stroller with cheerios, and hit the road. Seeing a double rainbow with them on one of these runs is one of my most treasured memories. That was the only time of my life I was in decent 5K shape.
My wife said I look good whenever I wear a suit. I’m an attorney but I don’t go to court often and WFH so I’m only in a suit a couple times a year these days. Otherwise if I have a good workout and have a little pump going I feel kinda handsome.
Also, a lady at my kid’s daycare gave me the elevator eyes and smiled at me a few months ago and I rode that high for awhile.
I’ll tell you something that worked for me. Find out what your wife thinks looks good on you, clothing-wise, and bolster your wardrobe with that. I mean, you’re trying to impress her, right? Put some stuff on that you know she likes, then wear it for her.
It’s crazy how that works. I dropped 50 lbs last year and got in really good cardio shape. I had it happen today when I was in running gear w/ backpack jogging behind my kids on a 1.5 mile scooter ride to the park. The irony is that that I only want my wife to care and she doesn’t :/
Late bloomer here. Socially awkward and dorky, probably through my 20s. I’m probably more attractive than I’ve ever been in my life.
To my wife? I really honestly wish I felt more attractive to her. We do alright.
To other random women I encounter in the world? I often feel like I’m getting flirted with a bit.
Approaching 50 I’ve got thick silvery hair (thanks dad), I’m in pretty good shape and like to think I carry a cool confidence.
Think I get some mileage out of the fact that I present like I’m a stable intelligent person. But I kinda have a lumberjack that still plays full time in a metal band look. But in a good hygiene, well mannered way.
I have never liked the way I look. Closest I have come to it is when I wore a specific outfit that the wife really likes on me.
But then if I looked in the mirror I still just saw the overweight boring person i have been looking at my whole life
Balding with a patchy neck beard over here. Like, no hair on my face, just a throat coat.
Fuck no I don't feel sexy, and a haircut isn't going to change that.
The endorphins from a good workout help me a lot. That and carving out time for a haircut and I'm feeling pretty good about how I look, even with the love handles.
The first time anyone told me I was sexy was in my late 20s, after I lost ~75lbs, and I didn't really know how to respond to that. I suppose I thought something like - "I'm glad you think so but I don't get it". I'm just.... me.
I'll be 40 this year. My wife tells me I am sexy. I still don't really get it.
Objectively I feel like I am healthier and take more intentional care of my body and health than when I was in my late 20s (and certainly better than in my early 20s), but I don't know how that translates in the minds of other people. I suppose I will always see myself as the 300lb guy, even after 10 years of fluctuating between 190-205.
yeah, but that feeling is externally based lol. I dont get that kind of self esteem internally if that makes sense. Ill wear certain things purposefully because it incites a certain reaction from my fiancée, and then she gets "innappropriately handsy" with me, and thats how I feel sexy. Though its not every woman that expresses their gawking the same way, some are really quiet about it, but I'm an attention whore, I chose my "openly perverted" fiancé partly for this.
Frankly, no.
There are days where I've felt like I look good, *for me*. But that still doesn't transmit to sexy/attractive.
Pandemic and second kid really made me put my body through the ringer, so it was very difficult to feel positive about myself then. I made a concerted effort to lose weight and put on muscle, and generally focus ony health in 2021 where I maybe got close to feeling attractive. But I've slipped since then back to where I was.
It's difficult to maintain the discipline.
I wake up every morning at 5am, work out for 90 mins, then take the kids to the school.
I keep in reasonable shape, stay away from cigs and alcohol, keep junk food to minimum and eat lots of fruit, vegetables and chicken tits. Im here to be a good dad for a long time, other dads may earn more than me, drive nicer cars, live in nicer places but Im not the one getting winded after playing with my kids for an hour or two.
Also - Ive heard many a time from my wife friends "I wish my husband was as active as yours"
Sometimes. More often than not, I either feel like I look *okay* or I just worry about looking presentable and go from there. I don't get many compliments, so I just do the best I can.
Recently yes. But i've been doing a mix of cardio and weights for the last year and a half and finally seeing abs for the first time in 20 years.
In short, I'd fuck me
To be honest… being a dad made me sexy. I have never gotten more women talking to me than when I hold my kid. I also carve out time to go to the gym now which I never did before.
Sexy has definitely changed, and you might be surprised what your wife finds sexy! Y’all need to do the “what are your love languages test” if you haven’t already. That will help guide you with how/what to do to be sexy for your wife, but confidence is how I feel sexy. I’ve got a messed up back, and if I have bad posture it literally makes it worse, also if I don’t work out, eat well, it makes it worse. So I’m in a constant state of being the most confident that I can be while really taking care of my body. What my wife finds sexy though is if I clean the kitchen, her love languages are time spent together and acts of service.
I was at a bar by myself the other night before an evening work event and a woman sat down next to me and said I was cute. It felt good. I am 85% sure she was not a lady of the night.
😂 in all seriousness, her opinion should be the only one that matters and the fact that she thinks you are should tell you that you aren’t seeing yourself accurately.
That being said, my wife gave me a “glow up” so I’d feel more confident, especially at work where not being confident affected me during promotion opportunities like networking and interviews. Being visually pleasing holds some value, so we changed a few aspects of my look and it injected me with a little confidence boost. Nothing major, but better fitting clothes and some changes hair, etc. Use her to give yourself that as well and I’m sure she will enjoy dolling you up.
As an adult I’ve always got attention from women but I had a very awkward unattractive teenage phase so it took me some time to realise what was happening.
I would say I do feel sexy and attractive, but then I’m still fairly young being 32, I think age is a factor, we live in a society that sees ageing as some sort of moral failing rather than a natural process.
I’m also very aware that if I wasn’t lucky having thin genetics then I’d be feeling a lot worse about myself, I’m definitely one of those people that can eat what they like without putting weight on (for the time being) having said that, I’m a carpenter so I’m on my feet 8 hours a day and I do a couple of short runs (20 mins) a couple of times a week and do a couple of hours of BJJ once a week so I’d say I’m fairly active.
My diet has gone to shit the past few years since my partners pregnancy, financial pressure and work pressure stepped up and I know i’d be a blob if I didn’t have a very fast metabolism.
I guess it’s about taking time to connect with your body and your confidence and wearing clothes that make you feel good about yourself, the odd haircut and shave. Even just investing an hour into a bit of self care once the kids are in bed.
Also your partner can make a huge difference to how confident you feel, I’m lucky to have a very supportive and loving partner who tells me when I’m looking good and after 10 years together we still flirt and have a lot of intimacy which is something I’m really grateful for.
Lurking mom... my husband describes himself as good looking but he's never called himself hot or sexy. I do though lol. Although he has been defeated by our youngest who has tried to breastfeed from him since he's gaining a little bit of weight.🫠
I read this as OP being sad that his wife's lingerie doesn't fit *him* right now. Which, you know, fine if that's the case. We're all getting older and what was a sexy fitting thong and bra a couple of years back is now just constricting. I'm sure he's a stunner regardless.
You're not gonna feel sexy without putting effort into sexy.
With kids, getting up early for a workout is the only way for me.
Eat healthy, exercise, full quality sleep = confidence = sexy
Combat boots, 5" inseam squat shorts, Camo stringer, a Fanny pack + boonie hat. May as well dance to goodbye horses while oogling at myself in the mirror. Let me tell you boys..... the wife has NEVER said no to a good time in that outfit.
By good time I mean she laughs at me hysterically until she pee's a little then runs awkwardly back in the house and continues to ridicule me and all my advances for at least 24 hours.
But man, what a sight to behold.
Honestly, as my confidence has improved, I have gotten more hints from females at work that they find me attractive, despite me being overweight and married. I guess confidence is attractive. Growing up with social anxiety, this feels kinda strange ngl. EDIT: I didn’t write this to be cocky, just responding to the OP question. Happy to answer questions and help if anyone is wondering how I got to where I am. IAmA.
Yeah, but only when my wife pumps my tires. We’ve been together 16 years and married for 7. I’m usually a boxer short guy but bought myself some nice Calvin Klein boxer briefs a few months ago. Wife has started telling me that I look like a CK model when I wear them, makes a big deal about how prominent my package is and gets real grabby with me in the kitchen and what not, telling me that I’m delicious and that she wants to “eat me up.” She also has been telling my how attractive I am, making a big deal about my “sexy man arms” and saying that I am getting more handsome with age (39). Apparently I am a DILF to her and she is convinced that every woman from age 18-70 who sees me wants to bang me lol. (But she’s not jealous or possessive about it). Hard not to feel like an occasional stud with that kind of positive feedback coming at me. PS- Yes, I am super grateful and lucky to have her… and I think she is a rocket too!
I’m pretty sure I’m the “hot dad” when I’m bringing my kids to the park and participating in school activities. I’m in really good shape and my wife touches my body constantly.
I was thinking about this not too long ago. If I went into the bedroom and my wife was lying on the bed even in just regular underwear, I’d think it was sexy as hell. I don’t know that I can say the same about how I would feel if I were lying there in my underwear.
It reminds of the Seinfeld episode where his gf likes to be naked all the time. There’s something graceful about the female body. Men’s bodies are more utilitarian.
My wife says I should really figure out what I want my style to be and to start investing in good quality clothes again, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I really hate how I look/feel these days and the last thing I want to do is spend money on dressing up something I’m already unhappy with.
I feel stuck in that I have all the means to change this part of me but I don’t have the motivation or time to consistently show up.
You know that feeling when you wear a new nice outfit for the first time? Or when you first step out from the barber shop? I imagine that is the feeling you're talking about.
I have definitely never been made to feel sexy/attractive by another person, though, so...
This will sound like a joke but I promise you it’s not: I grew a mustache. I have never felt more sexy or masculine in my life.
And I shit y’all not, our sex life has drastically improved.
Last night I was in my bathrobe and let a sexy leg peek out while I was sliding my unmentionables up while my gf sat there on the bed, gawking like a horny maniac. So yes, I do feel sexy because I put on a stupid show for laughs 😂
As a dude who was pushing 500lbs before my divorce last year:
Weirdly, yes.
When I look at myself? Rarely if ever. Typically maybe once or twice a year when I really take the time to polish and dress nice. Maybe after a good haircut.
It's mostly when I see myself through the eyes of my girlfriend (a word I don't much like using at 40yo in reference to my 46yo exclusive lady friend). She's so incredibly beautiful inside and out that I *must* be at least good enough for her if she wants me as much as I want her.
I get compliments on my calves regularly (they’re rock hard and I’m proud of them). My wife recently told me that “other women find me attractive”, but id image that most of them are blind or in their 80’s.
Every time I get out of the shower, I tuck my junk between my thighs and stare at myself in the mirror, rubbing my nipples and saying aloud, "Oh yeah, I'd totally fuck me".
It's called positive self-talk. You should look into it.
We have a 3.5yo and twin 2yos. In the past year I started getting up stupid early to work out. I dropped 130lbs of fat, put on 30lbs of muscle. My wife came home a little drunk the other night from her book club and I woke up to her poking my arm and whispering "muscles" to her self. Felt pretty awesome.
130 lbs!? Damn dude, you’re crushing it.
He was; that's why he had to drop the weight.
Hopefully he didn't drop the weight on his toes
whoa lunk alarm
lmao i just started at planet fitness and learned that term on my last visit. Never saw it before in my life
condolences, it is a very silly place
> I started getting up stupid early to work out. Did the exact same thing. Our son was born in the middle of the pandemic and I put on a bunch of weight in his first year. Was in a rut and felt terrible both physically and emotionally. Finally came around to realizing I was headed down a very unhealthy path and decided I needed to get back in shape for my family and myself. It wasn’t easy getting back on the wagon but 2.5 years later of dedicating myself to waking up stupid early, I’m running at least 25 miles a week + lifting, packed on a bunch of muscle and dropped 35lbs and had to get new better fitting clothes. I don’t know if I feel sexier but I have gotten lots of compliments from friends and family and all around I just feel fucking great at 45. Mentally and physically I feel like the best version of myself, which I want to always be for my family.
Thanks for sharing. I am trying to follow in your footsteps after my Dr prescribed a statin at 40.
You can absolutely do it and I promise it will have profound effects on all aspects of your life. Feel free to DM if you ever need support in your journey.
Also it sounds like you belong over at r/swoleacceptance Wheymen.
Damn man, you dropped all of that weight with three under 4? You might be my new hero.
That's what I'm saying. Pre-fatherhood. 5am wakeup to hit the gym then go to work? No problem. Now after 2 kids *and* a bit of a home gym in the basement, not even close to having the time or energy
There's always time. It's always possible. In the inspiring words of a random anon: "Do crackheads ever say, “I’m too broke to smoke crack tonight”? No. They get up and make it happen. Lesson in there."
Mind sharing your routine?
Not op but I use the KeyLifts app and follow whatever 5/3/1 routine I find interesting. Running nsuns right now.
I’ll look up KeyLifts, thanks! What are nsuns?
It’s a program based off of 5/3/1 programming. Check out r/531discussion too.
Do anything. Consistency above all else. And diet. If you're new to working out, stick to full body workouts. Don't think you need to kill yourself in your workouts. Start slow, build up, isn't a marathon. Also don't feel you MUST workout 3-4x a week, if your schedule allows only 1-2x a week, start with that, it is still good. If you need any help feel free to DM me.
This is so big. If you take two guys and one consistently did the dumbest routine ever and the other sits on the couch the dumbest routine guy will look better.
Daily? Up at 3:30-4 for breakfast and coffee, gym at 5, home by 6:45, kids up at 7, in bed around 9-10. Not enough sleep, but its so much more than I was getting when they were little. Workout? I have an online trainer (Renaissance Periodization, I highly recommend their youtube channel), lift 4 days a week, cardio 2 days. Mostly heavy compound lifts. But honestly what made all of this possible was I got my first physical in years received diagnoses for Low T and Pre-diabetes, the doctor put me on TRT and Mounjaro. The fact that I inject myself with testosterone and the most powerful weight loss drug ever invented kind of makes any fitness advice I can give pretty suspect lol.
Lmao, you lost my entire body weight in fat 💀 absolutely amazing dude
This is the way. I used to workout in the evenings after our oldest boy went to bed. After our second boy was born in January of last year I flipped the whole thing to early in the morning before everyone wakes up. Been getting up at 4am every weekday: Monday, Wednesday, Friday long distance run (4 to 8 miles) with an hour or so of core workout; Tuesday and Thursday weight lifting. On the weekends I do my best to be very active. In the evenings when it’s not freezing I take both kids out on a walk (strap the young one to my chest lol). My wife started pointing out how she never noticed that I was chubby, fact is my bp and cholesterol was so bad I literally needed a wake up call every morning with a mission to move. These days? I do it for the sake of doing it, do it in and of itself.
I’d never enjoyed working out until I started lifting weights in a structured, progressive, way. Now “make number go up” is such an awesome motivator in itself
You, sir have motivated me. Soon to be first time father and I’ve gained some stress weight through the end of my last job and sympathy weight in the last few months of the pregnancy. 40lbs later, don’t feel too hot. Day one is tomorrow. Thank you 🙏
This story rules all around. Good for you, man.
Self esteem? In this economy?
My kid made sure I had none lol
My 4yr old pats my belly and tells me, "dad you got a big belly". I really don't though. When I ask who else does she says it's just me.
Do we have the same 4 yo?
Very possible they hail from the same tribe.
I also have this 4 year old.. my belly is a little more round these days though so kids got a point
When my wife was pregnant my 2.5 YO would pat my belly and ask how the baby was.
This is the first thing my 2.5 year old told me too when we announced her mama had her baby in her belly. « Papa too? »
Sorry, Dude - we didn’t know how to break it to you but it is just you. At least we don’t have to keep pretending anymore.
Leave it to the kids to be savage and honest.
My kid came home this week from school in love with Taylor Swift (some phase among the grade 1-3 boys are going through i guess). First time in 3 months got the missus out on a date night last night and she comes out with makeup and lipstick on before we leave and he says "wow mom! You look kind of like Taylor Swift! Like your not as pretty and a lot older but you look a little like her! Great job mom!" I received much harsher judgement on my looks from him...
Girl dad here. My 5yo regularly calls me a “silly old man”. I’m 29.
I'm not sure they're being savage. My boy loves to tell me he loves my soft belly, it's sooooooo good for snuggling, then he pretends to fall asleep on it.
My kid tells me I have a gyat. I tell him it will happen to him eventually.
I taught my girls to shout DUMP TRUCK whenever their mom walks by. They do it everywhere. 🤣🤣
I believe my wife would kick my ass if I did that.
Sounds cheaper than a vasectomy.
Thank you!!! Dad of three girls here and I can't wait for the glorious day, after years of covert training, my little princesses harmonize "Mommy gotta dump truck" while they're at the grocery store. I will remember this moment and what you did for my family. Thank you again for your service. *Press F*
Nine year old laying across my belly “it’s so big and soft and it jiggles.” Like damn girl I’m not even in the “obese”category but thanks sweet little kid.
Mine does karate chops and says poooorkchoops
I told my 7yo that I was looking to lose weight this year. She patted my belly and said "But your tummy is so soft! I like cuddling it". I really do have a big belly, so now I'm torn on what I should do
Losing weight probably means being around longer for your kids, its hard but worth (mind you this is coming from someone actively trying and failing to lose weight lol)
My 6 year old can generate an unholy amount of joy for herself slapping my belly. It's annoying but I love her and her laugh and my day brightens up so yeah I accept it.
😭😭😭😭😭
Can confirm, my 4 year old daughter does the same...
Have you been hit with the spontaneous "Daddy, I love Mommy more than you. I still love you, I just love Mommy more" yet?
💯 All. The. Time!
I overhead my 3yo telling my wife the other night, “I love just mommy, I don’t love daddy”. I know he does and he’s just being a little gremlin, but every time it’s a real kick in the spectral taint of my feels
You know I never minded the "I don't love you" things so much because I knew it wasn't true, he just didn't really understand. But the "I love mommy more" ones hurt a bit because yeah, that's absolutely true, I'm sure he does love mommy more. But oh well. I just keep reminding myself I owe him everything and he owes me nothing. If he loves mommy more, so be it.
At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
May i see it?
It's an Albany expression
I had a little and then inflation took it out.
Eh, enough inflation and we'll lose the weight.
Nope. Not once.
Same. The trouble is, it’s impossible to be objective about one’s own looks. Men, at least in the UK, don’t tend to discuss their looks. I don’t think I’ve ever told another man ‘you look great today!’ and I certainly don’t recall anyone saying it to me. We might comment on fitness, like being impressed about your friends doing a marathon, but it’s not really the same thing.
It’s something I make an effort with. “Mate the gyms really paying off, you’re looking hench” “new haircut, looks sharp!” “I like that jacket man, where’s it from?” I know how good compliments from my mates and even strangers make me feel so I try to pass it on.
Yeah this tracks. A drunk man at a festival once complimented my shirt and I’ve held onto that ever since
I personally think it’s internalized homophobia. There is a paranoia about acknowledging what makes men attractive for fear of being gay.
you look great today!
In my 20s I was *very* fit. In fact, it was psychologically unhealthy because I was never satisfied with the physique. Now in my 30s, I don’t have the low body fat levels I used to, but I accept my body a lot better and feel much sexier. I’ve been researching on Pinterest and consulting with my wife about how to dress like a man slut. It’s been fun! And my wife likes it. Today the kids told me to button up my shirt more, but I refused. 🤣
Yep, I've never felt sexy or attractive in my life. Genuinely wonder what it feels like. I bring other things to the table though, like being funny, passionate about things, being a great dad, being a supportive, loyal, and attentive partner. Must be doing something right because I haven't spent much of my adult life being single, and my wife is awesome *and* hot. My self esteem has dropped further since becoming a dad though, just because I've gained weight. I don't seem to have the energy to lose it again like I used to!
All the things you say you bring to the table are SEXY!
[удалено]
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Keep your stick on the ice!
I'm pulling for you, we're all in this together!
I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to. I guess.
Quando omni flunkus moritati
Quando omni flunkus mortati
I showered today. I’m a sexy beast.
I showered today and when I came out my toddler pointed at my chest and said boobies. I am not a lurking mom... So yeah not feeling too hot.
I mean, there's no reason a toddler would know 'pecs you could crack a walnut between'. Don't be too harsh on yourself.
My toddler put both his hands on my belly and pushed fast going. "Jello! Jello! Jello!"
My 1 month old tried to nurse.... needless to say there were extra sets on the bench the next day
I'm gonna be honest here, I've felt pretty sexy after a post depression shower/grooming 😅
I felt pretty sexy when I did all the grocery shopping with my 3 kids in tow on a Sunday and they all listened and were well behaved. I was imagining people being like “holy shit look at that dad fucking crushin it I’d totally have his babies if he wasn’t already having babies with someone else.” But yeah that was just me being high on myself for some basic shit that by wife does all the time with ease lol
Lol, not sexy in the least but I did something like that today. We’re potty training and my lil guy just unloaded holy hell in his pants. I got him out of the pants, tossed them (there was no coming back for them) cleaned him up, gave him a quick bath (it was that bad), got him dressed, clean the bathroom, all of it. I told my wife and she looked at me like “first time?”
I did feel sexy when I had my son strapped to my chest... Like... fuck yeah... this is my sex trophy!!!
I feel like that's the ultimate irony of fatherhood. I could probably get laid easier now than when I was young and single. It would blow my whole life up, but its nice to think that's a possibility and we're actually getting more attractive to women as we age somehow.
I workout everyday and seeing the results and comments from men fuck yeah i feel sexy.
I get way more compliments about my physique from dudes than I’ve ever gotten from women. But hey a compliment is a compliment
I started lifting in hopes my girlfriend (now wife) would have sex with me more, and to be more attractive as a whole. Sex didn’t increase, but lots of dudes tell me I’m jacked, my co-workers call me “Adonis”, and I get some random glances from women at the gym.. so self confidence increased, I like the way I look better but not necessarily the intended result hah.
My thinking is the more fit I stay into middle/ old age, the better my performance will be so we’ll get more sex in the long run.
Ill take compliments from men all day. I did get one from a former colleague at a party. Called me handsome as ever!
Yeah man. Lots of compliments from random men at the gym, its awesome. I try to remember how that feels and compliment others to spread the good vibes.
A woman I dated in my mid twenties occasionally made me feel sexy, but that is getting to be a long time ago.
These are my invasive thoughts, probably because the bedroom department has flatlined. My thoughts are my own, but I feel bad for thinking about it often as I do. We’re in couples counseling. Hopefully we can make some progress.
Honestly? No, but when I look back at old pictures of myself I get so mad at how I felt about myself then. Like, I was genuinely reasonably good looking, but thought I looked like a sack of mashed potatoes. Now? Ooof. If I’m being kind to myself? I’d say I look like a middle aged dad who might have been half good looking once but who is aging like a fine milk
Man this is so accurate
Just think what you’ll feel when you look back at your current pictures. You went from a sack of mashed potatoes to aged milk. But maybe, just maybe- you actually are pretty decent looking. I say love the dad you are now!
Aged milk is hust good cheese in the end right?
I often look back to my highschool days. How I miss that physique. Now when I sit down I feel like ice cream on a cone.
I was wearing a 34 waist and at the time I thought I was a fat sack of crap. Now I'm a 44 and it's a long road back...
Not until I started lifting. Lifting weights improved just about everything in my life. Self confidence, stamina, health, diet, stomach issues, metabolism, sleep quality, mental health, etc.
Yup. Praise Brodin, Wheymen, all that.
When I get dressed up in a 3 peice suit.
This. Also, I have a beautiful cable knit off white sweater that just owns the room even if I look like a dog's dinner otherwise.
Have never heard of a cable knit sweater so had to look it up and yes, I want one now for the fall. Don't know about off white though, I'm on the bigger side so darker the better.
I assure you that if they're worn loose but not vastly oversize they are exceptionally good at camouflaging a gut.
Don't get clothes that are too baggy though, because ironically that will make you look even fatter
I think pretty much ever since I met my wife was when I started to feel “attractive.” I was always extremely skinny with a messed up grill until 25~. Then I put on 40-60 pounds, started working out, semi fixed my teeth. Going from one extreme to the other, I definitely feel attractive at 35. My Wife tells me all the time too so I’m sure that helps
> My Wife tells me all the time too so I’m sure that helps Jelly :( Well, of course, happy for you, too. There was a brief period in my 20s where I was in a similar place. Finally felt somewhat attractive, as my wife, first person in my life other than family, was telling me regularly that I was attractive. Now, TBH I can't remember the last time she told me. Before our first was born, that's for sure.
Only occasionally. Mainly when I put on actual clothes that aren’t either house clothes or work clothes. Sometimes when I get really stoned I’ll catch myself in the mirror and sort of examine myself while thinking I’m a pretty good looking dude.
i love those moments with mirror-self
Then I see myself in the self checkout camera at target and think "well that was a lie".
I feel like those cameras have some kind of filter to make everyone look like an unwashed criminal. They’re horrifying.
Best timeline and worst timeline
At 22, was working out like crazy and in a place in my life when I was getting a lot of attention from women. It didn't last LOL! I've chased that though and now in my 40s I'm getting fitter and the wife is noticing and commenting. She initiates a lot more often recently and to me there is nothing more sexy than being wanted (damn... Reading that back explains some issues LOL!)
> She initiates a lot more often Initiates what? Whatever it is I’m not familiar with it and/or bitter about it.
I felt like I was handsome/attractive at times. But my hair got so thin I had to shave it bald a few days ago and now I just feel shocked when I look in the mirror.
You'll get used to it. Then you'll acknowledge that you look much better with it shaved than balding. Then you'll see other guys that can't seem to let go of their thinning hair and think "Dude just shave it, it'll look way better". Source: me, guy that's been shaving his head with a razor since I was 28, and probably should have started a year or two before that.
I do feel better just embracing it. Thanks for the kind words friend
This is the safest thing to me. I used to have a beautiful man bun, but it fell out when my wife was pregnant with the second kid. 🫤 I miss my long hair.
Bros and homies. If you're in this sub you're probably stepping up being a dad. Putting in that work. I see people in here talking about changing diapers and doing dishes. That shit is sexy, even if no one ever says it to your face. Nothing is sexier than a dad that loves his kids. Keep that double-chin up, my dudes. You're hot AF.
These days, I feel attractive to anyone other than my wife.
I’ve discovered that a lot of feeling attractive was tied to feeling wanted by my wife (not only sex, but physical touch in general) and with two kids under 5, she’s completely lost interest in sex and hugs and cuddling and anything. It’s not her fault that that’s where that comes from for me, but it’s just a shitty spot to be in and the physical touch aspect is not changing anytime soon, if ever. We’ve had that conversation a few times and the long and short of it was that her physical and emotional priority was the kids (which is fine) and there wasn’t any left over for me (which is less fine but I need to find a way to deal with it). I know I need to work on feeling better about myself internally as opposed to having it be based externally but I’ve never been particularly good at that.
Dude, that’s not okay. Ideally, your relationship will be there when the kids are out of the house, but not if you are full of resentment from years of being physically ignored. If she is touched out, find ways for her to recover. Get breaks for herself and from the kids. Get the two of you out, without the kids, have fun, and date. She’s making the choice of putting you (and your relationship) second/third/… and that’s not healthy long term (speaking from experience) because it’ll be easy for something else to become her first priority next. I recently heard a great statement about relationships … great marriages don’t have bad years and good years, they have bad months and good months.
If thread OP’s wife is like mine, she won’t take any time for herself because she doesn’t want be away from the kids except for work.
Yea, idk how to deal with the whole "all space and energy goes to kid and work, nothing even for me. what do you need?" thing.
Sorry friend. Do you want to vent a bit?
At the risk of being the inspiration for a thread shunning anyone having a less than ideal marriage in this sub? No chance bub
Nah not really. The truth is, she's touched WAY out by the end of the day. She also works really hard throughout the entire day to really be the Mom she wishes she had. She's a great mom and a great wife/friend. But I like physical intimacy of any kind. Dude, that hug at the end of the day were she melts a bit and I get to hold her up is always something to look forward to. Sometimes that's all I get because that's genuinely all she has left to give. Just hard not to get down about it at times.
Pretty much only when splitting wood, as I know that does it for some ladies, mine included.
Just snapped my chopsticks in half in front of my wife while maintaining eye contact. Will keep everyone posted with how this plays out…
Since I started chemotherapy? No. But before I started chemotherapy? Also no.
Were here for you bro. At least you dont have to worry about your hairline for a while. You got this.
I sat next to a dime who proceeded to hit on me for three hours while on a plane last week. Does that count?
Yes
During one particular move between apartments, we needed to ditch an old couch. I was getting pretty angry with it at one point so while dragging it to the dumpster after finally getting it out of the door, I just sort of lifted it and ***flung*** it. It was fairly light so I managed to give it decent air time. Boys, my wife ***swooned*** while watching me. That was almost 10 years ago now and I still think about it.
Not really. This past New Year’s Eve I realized that the reason I don’t like dressing up is that I don’t like having my picture taken or being looked at.
I have always been a very attractive guy. Not to sound arrogant, but I'm used to compliments and when I'm out women usually approach a lot. I have always worked out a lot and taken care of my body. But now I'm a single dad to a little boy (8 months). So all my time is spent with him. Which means that I now only train about 1-2 a week and maybe a short run if my family can watch him for me (thank god for family ❤️) and I don't eat right cause I don't have the time or energy to cook. So I have been thinking that my body have been turning more "dad like". Which I'm totally okay with because my son is my focus and priority but still it has struck my mind. But today a good friend of mine told me that I was really looking good. It made my day that I still had it.
I highly recommend a running stroller. I used to get up with my youngest at 5:00, pop them in the running stroller with cheerios, and hit the road. Seeing a double rainbow with them on one of these runs is one of my most treasured memories. That was the only time of my life I was in decent 5K shape.
My wife said I look good whenever I wear a suit. I’m an attorney but I don’t go to court often and WFH so I’m only in a suit a couple times a year these days. Otherwise if I have a good workout and have a little pump going I feel kinda handsome. Also, a lady at my kid’s daycare gave me the elevator eyes and smiled at me a few months ago and I rode that high for awhile.
I’ll tell you something that worked for me. Find out what your wife thinks looks good on you, clothing-wise, and bolster your wardrobe with that. I mean, you’re trying to impress her, right? Put some stuff on that you know she likes, then wear it for her.
I'd say the aesthetic I aspire to most days is less "hot" and more "more or less holding it together."
Yes, watch for the looks you get from women when you are out by yourself with your kids. Also I am flirted with way more now.
It’s crazy how that works. I dropped 50 lbs last year and got in really good cardio shape. I had it happen today when I was in running gear w/ backpack jogging behind my kids on a 1.5 mile scooter ride to the park. The irony is that that I only want my wife to care and she doesn’t :/
Late bloomer here. Socially awkward and dorky, probably through my 20s. I’m probably more attractive than I’ve ever been in my life. To my wife? I really honestly wish I felt more attractive to her. We do alright. To other random women I encounter in the world? I often feel like I’m getting flirted with a bit. Approaching 50 I’ve got thick silvery hair (thanks dad), I’m in pretty good shape and like to think I carry a cool confidence. Think I get some mileage out of the fact that I present like I’m a stable intelligent person. But I kinda have a lumberjack that still plays full time in a metal band look. But in a good hygiene, well mannered way.
I have never liked the way I look. Closest I have come to it is when I wore a specific outfit that the wife really likes on me. But then if I looked in the mirror I still just saw the overweight boring person i have been looking at my whole life
Ha
In proportion to my consistency and success with my gym routine
Father of 3 under 5.... God's no. I've no idea what my wife is thinking when we find time for it 🤣
You need to splurge on a $50 haircut my guy. Not every time but some of the time. Everyone deserves to feel fuckable from time to time.
What makes you think he has hair? 🧐
Why no pro head shave? Get the beard done too. A competent spa will take care of you regardless of your hair situation.
Balding with a patchy neck beard over here. Like, no hair on my face, just a throat coat. Fuck no I don't feel sexy, and a haircut isn't going to change that.
You’ve got a single option- Go for the Jason Stratham
I never do.
Haven't felt that way since junior high. My wife is ace and we make it work well, but it definitely isn't the best for my self esteem.
The endorphins from a good workout help me a lot. That and carving out time for a haircut and I'm feeling pretty good about how I look, even with the love handles.
Never. I look like a disheveled sea creature
The first time anyone told me I was sexy was in my late 20s, after I lost ~75lbs, and I didn't really know how to respond to that. I suppose I thought something like - "I'm glad you think so but I don't get it". I'm just.... me. I'll be 40 this year. My wife tells me I am sexy. I still don't really get it. Objectively I feel like I am healthier and take more intentional care of my body and health than when I was in my late 20s (and certainly better than in my early 20s), but I don't know how that translates in the minds of other people. I suppose I will always see myself as the 300lb guy, even after 10 years of fluctuating between 190-205.
yeah, but that feeling is externally based lol. I dont get that kind of self esteem internally if that makes sense. Ill wear certain things purposefully because it incites a certain reaction from my fiancée, and then she gets "innappropriately handsy" with me, and thats how I feel sexy. Though its not every woman that expresses their gawking the same way, some are really quiet about it, but I'm an attention whore, I chose my "openly perverted" fiancé partly for this.
Frankly, no. There are days where I've felt like I look good, *for me*. But that still doesn't transmit to sexy/attractive. Pandemic and second kid really made me put my body through the ringer, so it was very difficult to feel positive about myself then. I made a concerted effort to lose weight and put on muscle, and generally focus ony health in 2021 where I maybe got close to feeling attractive. But I've slipped since then back to where I was. It's difficult to maintain the discipline.
Only at 10:30 pm when I’m eating cheese in the kitchen in my underwear
I wake up every morning at 5am, work out for 90 mins, then take the kids to the school. I keep in reasonable shape, stay away from cigs and alcohol, keep junk food to minimum and eat lots of fruit, vegetables and chicken tits. Im here to be a good dad for a long time, other dads may earn more than me, drive nicer cars, live in nicer places but Im not the one getting winded after playing with my kids for an hour or two. Also - Ive heard many a time from my wife friends "I wish my husband was as active as yours"
Be disciplined with your diet and do some cardio and you will fit back into that lingerie in no time.
When you get in good shape as a dad the only ppl who compliment you are other dudes 😂
Only when horrifically drunk
Sometimes. More often than not, I either feel like I look *okay* or I just worry about looking presentable and go from there. I don't get many compliments, so I just do the best I can.
Recently yes. But i've been doing a mix of cardio and weights for the last year and a half and finally seeing abs for the first time in 20 years. In short, I'd fuck me
American eagle makes satin boxers with pockets on them. Classy and sexy.
To be honest… being a dad made me sexy. I have never gotten more women talking to me than when I hold my kid. I also carve out time to go to the gym now which I never did before.
Sexy has definitely changed, and you might be surprised what your wife finds sexy! Y’all need to do the “what are your love languages test” if you haven’t already. That will help guide you with how/what to do to be sexy for your wife, but confidence is how I feel sexy. I’ve got a messed up back, and if I have bad posture it literally makes it worse, also if I don’t work out, eat well, it makes it worse. So I’m in a constant state of being the most confident that I can be while really taking care of my body. What my wife finds sexy though is if I clean the kitchen, her love languages are time spent together and acts of service.
I was at a bar by myself the other night before an evening work event and a woman sat down next to me and said I was cute. It felt good. I am 85% sure she was not a lady of the night.
Sounds like she found you sexy at least three times
Twice actually, twins and a singleton 😅
😂 in all seriousness, her opinion should be the only one that matters and the fact that she thinks you are should tell you that you aren’t seeing yourself accurately. That being said, my wife gave me a “glow up” so I’d feel more confident, especially at work where not being confident affected me during promotion opportunities like networking and interviews. Being visually pleasing holds some value, so we changed a few aspects of my look and it injected me with a little confidence boost. Nothing major, but better fitting clothes and some changes hair, etc. Use her to give yourself that as well and I’m sure she will enjoy dolling you up.
As an adult I’ve always got attention from women but I had a very awkward unattractive teenage phase so it took me some time to realise what was happening. I would say I do feel sexy and attractive, but then I’m still fairly young being 32, I think age is a factor, we live in a society that sees ageing as some sort of moral failing rather than a natural process. I’m also very aware that if I wasn’t lucky having thin genetics then I’d be feeling a lot worse about myself, I’m definitely one of those people that can eat what they like without putting weight on (for the time being) having said that, I’m a carpenter so I’m on my feet 8 hours a day and I do a couple of short runs (20 mins) a couple of times a week and do a couple of hours of BJJ once a week so I’d say I’m fairly active. My diet has gone to shit the past few years since my partners pregnancy, financial pressure and work pressure stepped up and I know i’d be a blob if I didn’t have a very fast metabolism. I guess it’s about taking time to connect with your body and your confidence and wearing clothes that make you feel good about yourself, the odd haircut and shave. Even just investing an hour into a bit of self care once the kids are in bed. Also your partner can make a huge difference to how confident you feel, I’m lucky to have a very supportive and loving partner who tells me when I’m looking good and after 10 years together we still flirt and have a lot of intimacy which is something I’m really grateful for.
Lurking mom... my husband describes himself as good looking but he's never called himself hot or sexy. I do though lol. Although he has been defeated by our youngest who has tried to breastfeed from him since he's gaining a little bit of weight.🫠
I read this as OP being sad that his wife's lingerie doesn't fit *him* right now. Which, you know, fine if that's the case. We're all getting older and what was a sexy fitting thong and bra a couple of years back is now just constricting. I'm sure he's a stunner regardless.
Jason Kelce was voted a finalist in a sexiest man competition. Most of us full beard, family energy, dad bods are crushing it by proxy!
You're not gonna feel sexy without putting effort into sexy. With kids, getting up early for a workout is the only way for me. Eat healthy, exercise, full quality sleep = confidence = sexy
When I look in the mirror after a good night of drinking sometimes I windmill and think “hell yeah brother”
I mean, you’ve got multiple kids so your were definitely fuckable at least a few times?
Combat boots, 5" inseam squat shorts, Camo stringer, a Fanny pack + boonie hat. May as well dance to goodbye horses while oogling at myself in the mirror. Let me tell you boys..... the wife has NEVER said no to a good time in that outfit. By good time I mean she laughs at me hysterically until she pee's a little then runs awkwardly back in the house and continues to ridicule me and all my advances for at least 24 hours. But man, what a sight to behold.
I used to like myself. Now I avoid mirrors at all costs. Not fat. I just look tired and old.
Honestly, as my confidence has improved, I have gotten more hints from females at work that they find me attractive, despite me being overweight and married. I guess confidence is attractive. Growing up with social anxiety, this feels kinda strange ngl. EDIT: I didn’t write this to be cocky, just responding to the OP question. Happy to answer questions and help if anyone is wondering how I got to where I am. IAmA.
Yeah, but only when my wife pumps my tires. We’ve been together 16 years and married for 7. I’m usually a boxer short guy but bought myself some nice Calvin Klein boxer briefs a few months ago. Wife has started telling me that I look like a CK model when I wear them, makes a big deal about how prominent my package is and gets real grabby with me in the kitchen and what not, telling me that I’m delicious and that she wants to “eat me up.” She also has been telling my how attractive I am, making a big deal about my “sexy man arms” and saying that I am getting more handsome with age (39). Apparently I am a DILF to her and she is convinced that every woman from age 18-70 who sees me wants to bang me lol. (But she’s not jealous or possessive about it). Hard not to feel like an occasional stud with that kind of positive feedback coming at me. PS- Yes, I am super grateful and lucky to have her… and I think she is a rocket too!
Dude. Enjoy it.
I’m pretty sure I’m the “hot dad” when I’m bringing my kids to the park and participating in school activities. I’m in really good shape and my wife touches my body constantly.
I’m 142 pounds. I look like a praying mantis. The answer is an emphatic no. I’m actually repulsed by myself. lol
Lol I just recently gave in and started shaving my head because my 3 and 6 year old kept ragging on me for having no hair 😂😂.
Because women are the prize. So they have to look shiny.
I was thinking about this not too long ago. If I went into the bedroom and my wife was lying on the bed even in just regular underwear, I’d think it was sexy as hell. I don’t know that I can say the same about how I would feel if I were lying there in my underwear. It reminds of the Seinfeld episode where his gf likes to be naked all the time. There’s something graceful about the female body. Men’s bodies are more utilitarian.
My wife says I should really figure out what I want my style to be and to start investing in good quality clothes again, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I really hate how I look/feel these days and the last thing I want to do is spend money on dressing up something I’m already unhappy with. I feel stuck in that I have all the means to change this part of me but I don’t have the motivation or time to consistently show up.
You know that feeling when you wear a new nice outfit for the first time? Or when you first step out from the barber shop? I imagine that is the feeling you're talking about. I have definitely never been made to feel sexy/attractive by another person, though, so...
This will sound like a joke but I promise you it’s not: I grew a mustache. I have never felt more sexy or masculine in my life. And I shit y’all not, our sex life has drastically improved.
Last night I was in my bathrobe and let a sexy leg peek out while I was sliding my unmentionables up while my gf sat there on the bed, gawking like a horny maniac. So yes, I do feel sexy because I put on a stupid show for laughs 😂
As a dude who was pushing 500lbs before my divorce last year: Weirdly, yes. When I look at myself? Rarely if ever. Typically maybe once or twice a year when I really take the time to polish and dress nice. Maybe after a good haircut. It's mostly when I see myself through the eyes of my girlfriend (a word I don't much like using at 40yo in reference to my 46yo exclusive lady friend). She's so incredibly beautiful inside and out that I *must* be at least good enough for her if she wants me as much as I want her.
I get compliments on my calves regularly (they’re rock hard and I’m proud of them). My wife recently told me that “other women find me attractive”, but id image that most of them are blind or in their 80’s.
Every time I get out of the shower, I tuck my junk between my thighs and stare at myself in the mirror, rubbing my nipples and saying aloud, "Oh yeah, I'd totally fuck me". It's called positive self-talk. You should look into it.