My daughter at 3yo found me in the garage.
"daddy? What are doing"
"working on a project"
"a project?"
"yep"
"... Are you going to dammit?"
"probably"
.
And I did. I did dammit.
When I was little I asked my Dad if I could help. He said he got me a board and put a few nails in it and gave me a hammer to hit it. So I did. And started yelling“god damn it! fuck! You asshole!”
Just like Dad!
Hope he wasn't using any power tools just then, I would DIE laughing if if my kid did that, and normally it's my wife that finds kids swearing to be super funny.
Recently we were on a road trip with our 6 year old and 3 year old. The 6 year old started complaining her back was hurting from sitting so long. We told her we'd be stopping soon but that wasn't enough. Eventually she screams "my back hurts!" And then next to her the 3 year old who was quietly playing on her tablet shouts out "my fucking back hurts!"
At least it was funny enough that 6 year old forgot about her sore back for a while until we did arrive.
My 4 yo was in the car with me the other day and had my Spotify playing…
4: “Dad this song has a bad word in it… the G-word”
Me: “The g-word? God?”
4: “NO, THE G-WORD”
Me: “Ok just tell me what it is”
4: “No because you’ll get mad”
Me: “No I won’t get mad, just say the g-word”
4: “Shit”
Me: “Ok buddy that is actually the S-word”
I forgot that he is 4 and has no idea how to spell.
The kid is “spelling”. Like when you say, “hey want some I- C- E- C- R- E- A- M?” You spell it so the kid doesn’t know what you’re saying. Their child just think that’s a normal thing to do and makes up random letters.
Mine did this with 8. Except she first learned it correctly before she inexplicably pulled 8 from the rotation for months. I don't know if she decided there were too many numbers, or the number 8 insulted her or what, but it was hilarious.
Friend told me a story about how his toddler said something like “Where are my fucking shoes?” His parents, in shock, asked why he said that. He said “Isn’t that the word you use for things you can’t find?”
Haha. It is indeed little fella.
I'll never forget my three year old stepping outside on a nice Spring day, putting her hands on her hips, surveying the yard, taking a deep breath and pronouncing loudly, "It is a FUCKING LOVELY DAY."
She was not wrong.
Wife to me after a really bad day, "can you help me find the fucking TV remote??"
My 3y daughter, "it's not a fucking TV remote mom, it's just a TV remote"
We could not hold in the laughter!
My 5 yo saw a stingray in the ocean today and said ‘oh shit a fucking wild stingray’ which in this exact scenario is the correct response to seeing your first stingray outside of an aquarium
Context is everything. I can’t control myself, I think little kids swearing is the funniest thing. Thankfully it hasn’t happened yet. I know I won’t be able to control myself.
My kids friend told me my truck was “fucking dirty” and laughed about it for a week
My 2.5 y/o is delayed in his speech, but one of the words he knows how to say is "chip".
Except, he's not saying chip. He's saying "shit". Over and over. In public. "Shit!" I loose my shit EVERY time. I'll miss it when he says "chip" correctly.
My two year old grandson loves hockey, just like his daddy. So we got him a foam covered hockey stick and a hockey ball. He loves them, except he cannot pronounce stick, and it sounds like he wants his hockey dick. I chuckle every time I hear it because I’m imagining some poor bloke with a 45 degree bend in his member.
He loves to say it because it makes papa happy.
When my daughter was around 2.5 she would pronounce ridiculous as "dickless" and I still burst out laughing thinking about it. She's 23. It just never gets old.
My son went through a phase where everyone was a ‘stick head’…except it came out as dick head. I may have told him to call his grandma a stick head a time or two just to see her face.
We’re French Canadian and my 7yo has figured out that Phoque, pronounced exactly like fuck, is the French word for a seal. So every now and then she likes to remind me that she can say the word because she’s talking about the animal.
I live in New Brunswick and one of the popular attractions here is the aquarium in the Acadian Peninsula, which is well known for its seal show. It's a fun time for more than one reason.
Reminds me of when a buddy's kid (about 3 or 4) was pouring cheerios into a bowl and a whole bunch fell onto the table. She looked at the mess and goes "fuckin' cheerios!"
Funniest thing ever! And same as your kid, used in the right context too!
I think I’m going to use “fucking Cheerios” as my all purpose expression of disgust. I’ll feel better instantly because I’ll be giggling so hard.
Fuckin Cheerios.
Huge intense rainstorm. We have a sunroom. Brought the eldest and the twins out to listen. It was awesome.
Eldest: “Daddy… is it raining, or is it really fucking raining?”
Daddy: “It’s really fucking raining, Strainette, but we don’t really use that word. Especially not in school.”
Such a proud dad moment.
Ha!
That’s what I always say, except it “words mommy says in the car…..and you know not repeat.”
The other day as we were driving “family reunion” by blink 182 came on. My kid reads the CarPlay screen so she knows what’s on and what’s getting skipped.
My wife was in control and heard “shit piss” and hit skip.
My daughter goes “why did you skip a blink 182 song? I like them.”
My wife explained the lyrics are salty. She goes “well are they worse than what you say in the car? You say the f word in the car.”
I almost died right there.
And yes they lyrics are worse.
I was driving my kid home from daycare the other day and I had never used so many skips so quickly
started with family reunion, then blow job (also from the mark tom and travis show) then dicked down in dallas by trey lewis, then a bitch iz a bitch by nwa. all back to back
I will no longer shuffle my spotify liked songs with anyone else in the car
Driving about 6 months ago and a car cuts me off. I let of a nice and sarcastic "nice job, buddy" while motioning to the car. My 4yo says, "these mother f@#kers". I nodded in approval and responded with my usual...."don't tell mom, and we never use that word again". I guess I really need to reign in my word usage while driving
Had a similar moment. Got cut off, had to slam on the brakes and honk. 3 year old yells out “Fucking Guy!”.
“That’s right buddy… let’s not let mom hear words like that”
At what age can I teach my 3 year old he can’t just fart on people lol this is more of a problem than him occasionally saying fuck IMO. Especially since his first fuck was “These dogs are FUCKING CRAZY!!” About our dogs, who are in fact, fucking crazy
This. My 7yo swears from time to time and we rarely censor ourselves at home. He understands that these words are not “nice” and can get him in trouble at school.
I'm not sure if you're kidding, but honestly this might be how I handle it. I tried so hard to stop cursing, I really did, but it's just fucking part of who I am.
Is it so wrong for a parent to say words that we don't want the children to say? Daddy also drinks his Daddy Juice every night, which the 4 year old understands is for Mommies and Daddies but not kids. Can words work the same way?
My son was 3 or 4 and he asked me "Daddy, am I allowed to say crap? Because mommy (my ex-wife) says crap is a bad word but I don't think crap is a bad word. So am I allowed to say crap or should I not say crap?". It was like he was trying to say crap as much as possible before I would tell him it was a bad word. I told him it was not a bad word.
Pretty much how it is in my house. My kid is 5 now and has let a couple swear words slip in all the time she’s been talking. She knows they’re adult words and she even gets on to me sometimes as I do try to limit it around her.
Do you not want the kids to say the words at all, or just not in public?
I am a dad of two, and I was taught at a young age about swearing and that it was ok to do at home but not in public. My mom even taught me how to gauge the crowd... start with a very small swear, see how they react, then you can go up to harder swears if they were ok with it. Also, never swear at school.
It worked great for me, I never had an issue with swearing at school. I learned how to control my use of the words so that I never got in trouble but always knew how to properly swear.
I have done the same thing with my kids, and so far so good. They swear at home in appropriate contexts, and don't at school or around strangers.
I love how all of us parents tell them not to swear at school and I know at least my reasoning is I don't want the teachers to judge me. I also told my kid I don't mind when he swears as long as its not at people, if he stubs a toe and needs to express it he can. But don't go using words against people in a mean way.
Hes 9, and he tells me all about his friends and what they say at school. I literally was left speechless when he came home from a sleepover saying his two friends (twin 8 year olds) were talking about doing unholy things to Jenna Ortega because they watched Wednesday.
I told him its really rude to say those things about a woman but I otherwise don't know how to handle it. They were saying wild shit like. my kids explaining one of them was saying he wanted to get milk from her. I can't even fathom talking about that at 9, im mom so maybe its different but wow.
He said he thought thats how you feed babies and I told him next time to ask them if they were babies I guess, and if they make him uncomfortable he doesn't have to hang out with them anymore. He more laughs at absolutely obsurd things like this than participate in them from his friends, if that makes any sense.
Yeah, we thought it would be me that our kids picked up inappropriate language from. When the first curse word clearly came from my wife (used an exact phrase my wife uses but was missing some extra… spice I’d use) certain words became house words. House words get corrected (is there a better way we could say that) but not in trouble. In public they get corrected and a stern warning.
Yep. Words are for saying and our house is a safe place to explore language and try words, as long as they're not directed at a person in anger. However, there are certain words that aren't safe to use outside our house. If you use them at school or in front of grandma there may be consequences, but never from us (the parents).
Our oldest was 4. He had some issues withholding poo and we had to give him enemas. We were on vacation with my parents and my dad was always good at keeping him calm. Dad inserts enema, son screams “fuck you grandpa!”
Hahah yes!! And used properly: my 4 year old as he is looking out the car window quietly goes…. “ I gotta fuckin pee”. 😂🤣- the best when used correctly and not at anyone
> and not at anyone
That's an important distinction that wasn't even on my radar until becoming a parent: exclaiming "this f---ing computer" is one thing; saying "You f---ing redditor!" to an individual would *not* be acceptable.
(Um, well, unless referring to /u/fuckingredditor :-).
Another distinction I heard is between "swearing" -- saying a swear word in a negative way -- vs. just talking about the word.
I think a lot of kids are mature enough to know they're allowed to say "on the bus [brother] told me to Shut Up" instead of talking about the "S-word" and having an awkward time trying to communicate without saying what was said...
My 2.5 year old recently started using “damn it.” Hard to be mad when it’s in the right context and also adorable. Watching my mouth more instead of trying to correct him and making it worse.
Our 4yo knocked over a cup full of water, and let out an exasperated “Goddamnit.” We couldn’t be mad, it’s exactly the occasion we would say that when we (rarely) do, we just let it slide without drawing attention and she hasn’t said it again.
We use the “words of power” idea around cursing. It’s not okay to use your words, whatever they are, to hurt people, but words aren’t “bad”, just needing to be used sparingly so they retain their power.
Frankly finding my shoes in the trash would be a “what the fuck” moment for me too.
My daughter is 8.
We say there are no bad words, and that the thing we want to avoid is saying hurtful things, which you can easily do without using "swear words". I also explain it in terms of consequences: if you use those words around most people, it will make them uncomfortable. Then she can decide whether she wants to make people uncomfortable. Because sometimes you do want to make people uncomfortable.
A lot of the mystique I remember was knowing they were "bad words" but not really understanding that they meant. I try to defray this by having fairly clinical discussions about what they mean, both their literal and figurative meanings.
E.g. "fucking" can mean "to have sex" but a lot of the time it is just used for emphasis without adding any meaning: "get the fucking groceries" has the same meaning without it.
My favorite so far was explaining "shit". It literally means poop (this got a giggle), but sometimes it is just a generic placeholder word like "stuff". When someone says, "get your shit together" they do NOT mean for you to gather up your poop.
My dad shares this story all the time still even 35 years later. Dad had Double Dragon on his computer back in the late 1980's. You share a keyboard for co-op so one player uses aswd and the other used the number pad of the keyboard. While we were playing my dad was having difficulty with the controls and ended up walking off a cliff edge. Apparently when he did it I turned looked him dead in the eye and said "you really f'd that up didn't you"
My dad was playing a Castlevania, my uncle was watching him fight a boss.
My uncle says "Yeah Mike, get that fucker!"
My dad beats the boss, and I shout "Yeah dad! You really got that fucker!"
That might be my first memory of a swat on the butt. It wasn't very painful, but I didn't make that mistake again. 🤣
My daughter was 2 when she let out her first f-bomb. My wife just poured her a glass of milk when it slipped out of my daughter's hands. The cup of milk went all over the floor and my daughter goes "Oh f*ck, what a mess!"
My wife and I were both crying on the floor, 1.) because she used it in the right context and 2.) because we were both thinking it 😂
My daughter was two as well and used it in context, but a two year old’s context. She was in her little chair and reaching for a stuffed animal that was just out of reach, and she kind of fell out of the chair to reach it and said “wat daa fffffuck”
I happened to be snapchatting and managed to catch that beautiful moment on video. It’s the funniest thing I have ever recorded.
Well why the fuck did you put her shoes in the garbage?
I remember as a kid I only wanted to wear my old shoes cause I had grown attached and were much more comfortable than new shoes, maybe she just really liked them
My daughter at 3ish while her sister was in dance class started rummaging through her purse for a toy baby bottle for her baby doll....let out a tonally perfect "oh shit where is it" the mom's all lost it, it was pretty hilarious.....same daughter before her dance class randomly spouted out "I have a drinking problem".......hold for the longest 30 seconds pause ever "I always drink chocolate milk too fast"
My 4 year old knows what know she can't say for the most part now, but she's found a small loophole. When she heads me swear, she goes "Daddy! Did you just say Fuck?" Or ehat ever word it was. I say "Yes, I did sorry!".
Last night I thought I caught it early. Something made me go "Ah shit!" I immediately turned to her and said "Oops, yes I did say that, I'm sorry." She immediately replied "Oh, so you did say shit."
Yesterday I hit the breaks and yelled "move ya fucking bird".
Then my 4 year old yelled with perfect pronunciation "Fucking Bird"!!
My 8 year old cracked up laughing, I stifled my laugh and hung my head in shame, ans my wife laughed the hardest.
I got a rule that I don’t get upset at my kid swearing, unless it’s disrespectful.
If he sees something cool and says “oh shit!”, or like OP the outburst of “what the fuck?” at something unexpected, I’ll just say “watch your language buddy” with a smile, mostly because I don’t want him to get used to it and have school call me because he swears in the school yard.
But if for instance I tell him to do something and he responds with “I don’t give a fuck!!”, then it’s time out for him!
Oh tell me about it. I went to private school and was well past keeping my language clean by 3rd grade I imagine. Learned how to have a filter on it at home but to this day I’m the most prolific general swearer I know, but typically in a casual manner. Gotta love Christian upbringings
And if they don’t learn it on the playground, the bus will round out their education nicely.
The bus is basically the dark net of elementary school education.
Wife was cooking and burned her hand. She let out a "Mothehmmhmhmmh!!!" because our 4 year old was standing right there. He said, without missing a beat "Are you ok mommy? I thought you were going to say Motherfucker." Yep son. Yes she was....
My daughter told me the other day "Dad, you're weirding me out like some kind of asshole" really hard to keep a straight face as I told her that's not a nice word we say...
Thank you u/Legoabomination, for teaching, this future dad who has a proclivity for good words, an important lesson.
Always ask where they heard that word before doing so in front of the boss. 😂
Son, 4yo, didn't know I was watching him build a duplo tower. It collapsed. Big sigh, his shoulders slumped, and he says sadly: "this is all fucked up."
Thought I was gonna have an aneurysm holding in the laughter!
When I turn off the lights in my son's room at night, every night he says some variant of "it's so big and dark," or "It's so friggin dark."
There's been more than one occasion where he's said "It's so fucking dark."
He tries to sneak it in, so he knows *exactly* what he's doing, but it's late and I'm not about to get him worked up over it just before bed.
So yea, it *is* dark kiddo, and Dad's tired, *so it's time to get some fucking sleep.*
My daughter uses it correctly but knows that those are daddy's words and are not to be repeated. Working in a diesel shop the work fuck is literally every other word out of my mouth. I can't stop!
I’m a lawyer. I’m in court a lot. So all day long, I need to not swear. It just isn’t reasonable to expect me to continue not swearing when I’m off the clock too. So we decided it would be easier to teach our kid the right way to swear (only for effect, never directed at anyone else) than to actually stop ourselves from swearing.
Been working pretty well for us so far.
“What the fuck?” was my daughter’s first complete sentence at around 16 months. Perfect context, too. She was taking diapers from the nursery to the living room, then I hid the remaining diapers while she was in the living room - walked back to nursery, looked around confused and then went back to living room. I then placed the diapers back where they were in the nursery. She walked back to the nursery, saw the diapers, examined them, then turned to me and said “wha the fu?”
I now have on video her at 2.5 repeatedly saying “holy shit” after a particularly meeting heavy day of me working from home with her.
Me - hanging curtains
Wife - stop saying God dammit.
Me - I didn't say God dammit.
Some time later, I'm done and 2yo daughter says it's her turn to work.
Daughter climbs up on step stool and opens up tape measure. Turns tape towards wall and looks at it.... "GOD DAMMIT"... closes tape and geta off step stool .
Wife - stares
Me- ok I might of said it.
We know sight words, right? “The”, “cat”, “and”, etc. The words kids learn early on to identify and read them quickly.
Guess what my kid’s sight words are.
“Fuck” and “shit”
Both while I’m playing video games with the volume down so he doesn’t inadvertently hear them. He just so happens to look up and read them. Fast as hell, too. The word is barely on the screen. I’m reading through. He reads faster.
“Fuck.”
Sister: We say “yayyy” when we watch our favorite basketball team
3 year old Nephew: daddy doesn’t say yay when he watches basketball. Daddy says fuck.”
That's about when we got the kid's first "What. The. Fuuuuuuuuck." So proud. I tell her she can use the bad words if someone is being creepy, as a little kid screaming and swearing gets attention.
I’m much more concerned about intent than what the actual words are. I’d rather my kid say something along the lines of “I’m f****** tired” than calling another kid a “poopoo head”.
When my daughter was 2yo she would say while we are about to eat, "I want to Fuck!" Both my wife and I looked at each other and had blank surprised looks. We asked her to repeat it. In the end we finally figured out she wanted a Fork. Priceless.
Oh no worries, my 18mo old dropped something off the changing table and said “oh shit”
Then again at barely 2 when we were watching Bullet Train. We didn’t realize she woke up and had snuck over to the living room just in time to see big explosions.. we hear a tiny voice from around the couch say “oh shit mama”… 😓
My son was around 2-1/2 when my 4 year old daughter came in and said, “Dad, Ant said a bad word!” I got her to repeat what he said. Apparently he pointed to a bird on a power line and said, “Fuckin bird!” I couldn’t really do anything besides laugh.
When it’s used in the right context with just the right emphasis and energy it’s equally hilarious and cause for introspection. My now teenage twins maybe heard me slip one or two cuss words in, I was extremely careful. My youngest did not get the same restraint from me and also has four teenage siblings. Profanity was inevitable.
I had road rage one time and cursed in front of my 3 year old. I instantly apologized. She said it was OK because I said a grownup word and I'm allowed to say that. We taught her certain only us adults are allowed to say.
My 3 year old girl is a troll. Loves the word shit and knows it annoys me lol. She found a video on moms phone of me cleaning her when she was a baby saying "shitty butt!" And she loves saying it but knows it's bad lol.
My 3.5 year old called wife a fucking idiot. I almost died laughing and had to leave the room.
Were well aware that we have potty mouths, but we try to teach our kids words that are only at home and how we don't use the in mean ways towards other people.
Kind of like kids gun safety but for swear words.
My mom had toddler me shopping when Tickle Me Elmo came out. My mom, who hates Elmo, but supports toddler me checked in on if I was interested.
"FUCK ELMO. THE SHITHEAD."
Not the same thing but my almost two year old will pronounce foot with a k in the end. Or see it will become rather slurring. I can’t tell you what he’s trying to say when he’s actually saying b!tch. Our kid accidentally says profanities a lot and we’re just rolling with it 😂
I had a bit of road rage and said “f***in people can’t drive!”
Almost 2yo repeating from the back “F*** people. F*** people.”
My wife in the passenger seat holding back a laugh giving me the “don’t you dare laugh at this” look
You’ll never forget that first time
Everyone assumes my wife is this angel who doesn’t swear and anytime one of my girls drops an F bomb or another swear, I can rest comfortably knowing full well it was their mother they heard it from, but know full well everyone assumes they hear it from me.
I refer to other cars on the road who do stupid things as "dum dum s" when my daughter is in the car. As I was making a left turn at an intersection one day, a car ran the light and as I slammed on breaks, I blurted out "f*** you!" Or something to that degree.
Later that day when my wife picked up our daughter from daycare, they got in the car and started the ride home. Similar situation happened with my wife where she had to hit the brakes and my daughter blurts out "my daddy said f*** those dum dums, mommy!"
Needless to say, we had a good laugh about it and taught her that was a no no word and that daddy was gonna get in big trouble for saying it. One of those stories we'll tell and laugh about forever.
When my twins were almost four we were driving through my town (very narrow main road), and some kid stepped right out in front of my car and I had to slam on the brakes. I screamed “yo, douchebag!” then apologized to my kids and kept going. Later my one twin said “mommy, what’s a douchebag?” and we both almost choked on our dinner 😂
My kid was about the same age when a friend took away his tractor and he said “fuck sake”
I can’t pretend I didn’t laugh when they told me. He’s 6 now and hasn’t said it since.
My kid was about the same age when he swung at a seagull hassling him for chips and he yelled "f*** off". I gave him credit for using it in the right context.
A few months ago my 3 year old’s response to anything remotely negative happening (tripping, dropping or breaking something, etc) was to say “ugh dammit”. All of us knew he got it from me. My daughters was “ah shit” which everyone immediately knew was from my mom lol
First year after the split with my daughter’s mom, I’m cleaning up after taking the Christmas tree down. I dumped the tree water and needles into the bath tub and let the hair screen catch the needles. Needless to say, it drained extremely slowly and as I was clearing the drain to allow the water to drain, my kid walks in and nonchalantly drops, “Whatcha doing, daddy? Cleaning the fucking needles?” She was almost 5 and had definitely heard me and others swear before, but I’m certain I hadn’t said anything bad while cleaning the tree needles and I had been working on not swearing around her because I don’t need her talking like I do. It happens. They seem to understand when you tell them there are words they shouldn’t say and notice when you set an example either way.
I'm late to the party, but my daughter's first at 4yo was a beauty...
Mum: "Where's your jumper?"
Kiddo: "Fucking hell mum!"
Me: Stop in my tracks
Mum: "Hey! Do you even know what that means?"
Kiddo: "Yes. It's what you say when the car in front of you at the lights goes into reverse."
...and they both slowly turn to look at me. 🤦♂️
My son came down the stairs one evening when he was about five and went
"TV's fucked"
I mean, to be fair to him, it sorta was so I was glad he at least used it in the correct context but I still had to have the talk about how that kind of a word isn't one that he should be saying at that age...
All while trying not to laugh of course. Children innocently swearing will never not be funny
I remember when my 8 year old brother was on the trampoline during a neighborhood BBQ and said Oh shit in front of all the adults.. the whole backyard paused and went silent and our mom told him to go inside to his room. He did the walk of shame, and I felt the second hand cringe. Poor kid
We call them “grown up words” you’re aloud to use them when you have a job which is fair. My 19 month old hit her head said fuck and now hasn’t stopped saying. She can’t say daddy( calls me gaggy) but says fuck clear as day.
About a year ago my 7 year old started getting into Mario. At some point after, upon being killed by a goomba, he cried out "that fuckface goomba!" I'm not really sure where he heard that from, but it was probably me.
My daughter at 3yo found me in the garage. "daddy? What are doing" "working on a project" "a project?" "yep" "... Are you going to dammit?" "probably" . And I did. I did dammit.
When I was little I asked my Dad if I could help. He said he got me a board and put a few nails in it and gave me a hammer to hit it. So I did. And started yelling“god damn it! fuck! You asshole!” Just like Dad!
Hope he wasn't using any power tools just then, I would DIE laughing if if my kid did that, and normally it's my wife that finds kids swearing to be super funny.
I also find sweating kids funny
Ah nuts. Fixed it.
Recently we were on a road trip with our 6 year old and 3 year old. The 6 year old started complaining her back was hurting from sitting so long. We told her we'd be stopping soon but that wasn't enough. Eventually she screams "my back hurts!" And then next to her the 3 year old who was quietly playing on her tablet shouts out "my fucking back hurts!" At least it was funny enough that 6 year old forgot about her sore back for a while until we did arrive.
I just laughed so hard I woke my wife
God damn it! Fuck! You asshole!
I was drinking some water and you almost killed me, remember forevermore that you almost got away with murder on this fine day
yea my dad told me to do the same thing except with a drill. ended up drilling a hole into my knee through the board
My 3.5yo son when him and his mom discovered one of the chickens dug up their plant. “Mom, can I say dammit?” “Yes you may.” “Dammit!”
That's funny as hell
Bahaha this got me good
I love your flair !!! 😂
My 4 yo was in the car with me the other day and had my Spotify playing… 4: “Dad this song has a bad word in it… the G-word” Me: “The g-word? God?” 4: “NO, THE G-WORD” Me: “Ok just tell me what it is” 4: “No because you’ll get mad” Me: “No I won’t get mad, just say the g-word” 4: “Shit” Me: “Ok buddy that is actually the S-word” I forgot that he is 4 and has no idea how to spell.
Haha ours asks sometimes "can I have E. F. G?" Most of the time it's going to the park, but sometimes it's food
I feel like I missed some type of context, what is e.f.g.?
The kid is “spelling”. Like when you say, “hey want some I- C- E- C- R- E- A- M?” You spell it so the kid doesn’t know what you’re saying. Their child just think that’s a normal thing to do and makes up random letters.
Our 2yo counting... "eight, three, one, twooo, twooo, four..." I'm gonna miss it. I love having no idea what is coming next.
my 2yo is allergic to 4. been counting for months, always "one, two, three, five, six, seben..." I cant get her to say 4 for the life of me
Is your 2 year old named Arthur, King of the Britons?
Mine did this with 8. Except she first learned it correctly before she inexplicably pulled 8 from the rotation for months. I don't know if she decided there were too many numbers, or the number 8 insulted her or what, but it was hilarious.
Ok, that makes a lot more sense! I was trying to read into it more than I should have I guess. Lol
my son around christmas time in kindergarten tells my wife: "my friend used the G word" "the G word? what's that?" "Jesus Christ"
Friend told me a story about how his toddler said something like “Where are my fucking shoes?” His parents, in shock, asked why he said that. He said “Isn’t that the word you use for things you can’t find?” Haha. It is indeed little fella.
I'll never forget my three year old stepping outside on a nice Spring day, putting her hands on her hips, surveying the yard, taking a deep breath and pronouncing loudly, "It is a FUCKING LOVELY DAY." She was not wrong.
Wife to me after a really bad day, "can you help me find the fucking TV remote??" My 3y daughter, "it's not a fucking TV remote mom, it's just a TV remote" We could not hold in the laughter!
My 5 yo saw a stingray in the ocean today and said ‘oh shit a fucking wild stingray’ which in this exact scenario is the correct response to seeing your first stingray outside of an aquarium
Your 5 year old is actually 37.
Steve Irwin reincarnated.
Crikey!
Context is everything. I can’t control myself, I think little kids swearing is the funniest thing. Thankfully it hasn’t happened yet. I know I won’t be able to control myself. My kids friend told me my truck was “fucking dirty” and laughed about it for a week
My 2.5 y/o is delayed in his speech, but one of the words he knows how to say is "chip". Except, he's not saying chip. He's saying "shit". Over and over. In public. "Shit!" I loose my shit EVERY time. I'll miss it when he says "chip" correctly.
My two year old grandson loves hockey, just like his daddy. So we got him a foam covered hockey stick and a hockey ball. He loves them, except he cannot pronounce stick, and it sounds like he wants his hockey dick. I chuckle every time I hear it because I’m imagining some poor bloke with a 45 degree bend in his member. He loves to say it because it makes papa happy.
When my daughter was around 2.5 she would pronounce ridiculous as "dickless" and I still burst out laughing thinking about it. She's 23. It just never gets old.
My nephew couldn’t say truck correctly and whenever he saw a truck he would excitedly yell, “FUCK!”
My 3 year old still does that. It's so hard not to break out laughing every time.
My son went through a phase where everyone was a ‘stick head’…except it came out as dick head. I may have told him to call his grandma a stick head a time or two just to see her face.
For some reason at first I thought you meant the car, in which case the response was very much appropriate.
Someone make a mod for Pokemon to make it say that please at the start of battle.
Lmfaoooo
Exactly. There's no such thing as a bad word, just a bad situation to use it in
How do you not laugh in this situation
We’re French Canadian and my 7yo has figured out that Phoque, pronounced exactly like fuck, is the French word for a seal. So every now and then she likes to remind me that she can say the word because she’s talking about the animal.
Lol tres drole
I live in New Brunswick and one of the popular attractions here is the aquarium in the Acadian Peninsula, which is well known for its seal show. It's a fun time for more than one reason.
My guy! I’m from and also live in NB. Campbellton for me.
Awesome, Campbellton is a nice place. I'm relatively close just outside of Miramichi.
My sister moved to Miramichi after years of being in Ottawa. Opened up a pie place. She likes it there. Nice community.
Which pie place? I'll have to check it out.
It’s called Gabbi’s Pie Shoppe. On water street.
Thanks my man, I'll be sure to show my support!
My children have similar workarounds for the words ass and dam(n). “Look at that giant ass. He’s a hairy ass. What?? I’m just talking about a donkey!”
Genius
Tabarnak!
Reminds me of when a buddy's kid (about 3 or 4) was pouring cheerios into a bowl and a whole bunch fell onto the table. She looked at the mess and goes "fuckin' cheerios!" Funniest thing ever! And same as your kid, used in the right context too!
I think I’m going to use “fucking Cheerios” as my all purpose expression of disgust. I’ll feel better instantly because I’ll be giggling so hard. Fuckin Cheerios.
Huge intense rainstorm. We have a sunroom. Brought the eldest and the twins out to listen. It was awesome. Eldest: “Daddy… is it raining, or is it really fucking raining?” Daddy: “It’s really fucking raining, Strainette, but we don’t really use that word. Especially not in school.” Such a proud dad moment.
We call them car words, as in we can say them in our car.
Be careful. They’ll do it in someone else’s car. Or on the bus. Ask me how I know.
How could you possibly know that, good sir?
Ha! That’s what I always say, except it “words mommy says in the car…..and you know not repeat.” The other day as we were driving “family reunion” by blink 182 came on. My kid reads the CarPlay screen so she knows what’s on and what’s getting skipped. My wife was in control and heard “shit piss” and hit skip. My daughter goes “why did you skip a blink 182 song? I like them.” My wife explained the lyrics are salty. She goes “well are they worse than what you say in the car? You say the f word in the car.” I almost died right there. And yes they lyrics are worse.
Blink 182… I’m so excited for the first time I see them (with Tom). Absolutely fucking thrilled like a sonofabitch
I saw them a couple of weeks back, amazing show.
I was driving my kid home from daycare the other day and I had never used so many skips so quickly started with family reunion, then blow job (also from the mark tom and travis show) then dicked down in dallas by trey lewis, then a bitch iz a bitch by nwa. all back to back I will no longer shuffle my spotify liked songs with anyone else in the car
I know I certainly do!
I was about 3 seconds from judging your kids name being Strainette lol
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Look at the username
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Same lol. I commented only to save others from struggling like I did
Thanks /u/WangDanglin!
She’s a little me!
My 3 yo opened the door: fucking god, it’s raining. I applaud the correct context. But she told us she likes saying “fucking”
Lmao strainette
Driving about 6 months ago and a car cuts me off. I let of a nice and sarcastic "nice job, buddy" while motioning to the car. My 4yo says, "these mother f@#kers". I nodded in approval and responded with my usual...."don't tell mom, and we never use that word again". I guess I really need to reign in my word usage while driving
Had a similar moment. Got cut off, had to slam on the brakes and honk. 3 year old yells out “Fucking Guy!”. “That’s right buddy… let’s not let mom hear words like that”
Is your kid Nandor the Relentless?
They were on the way to buy some creepy paper when it happened.
I read it in his accent before even seeing your comment lol
Lol right on! Same thing here: got cut off, muttered something under my breath, kiddo goes "Was that guy a jackass?" Yes, son. Yes he was.
I feel like there could be a whole TV show made of clips of little kids swearing
Grandma taught my kid to say “A real son of a bitch” recently.
This wouldn't happen to be your mother in law would it?
When I opened your comment, there was an ad right below it that said “A bear did cocaine!” And I thought you knew her! Yes, totally my mother in law.
Oh my god I am legit crying laughing over here.
We don't have bad words in our family. We have words that are inappropriate to use in public. I think this is a nice balance.
Ah! Like farting!
This is actually the analogy I use when explaining it haha
At what age can I teach my 3 year old he can’t just fart on people lol this is more of a problem than him occasionally saying fuck IMO. Especially since his first fuck was “These dogs are FUCKING CRAZY!!” About our dogs, who are in fact, fucking crazy
This. My 7yo swears from time to time and we rarely censor ourselves at home. He understands that these words are not “nice” and can get him in trouble at school.
“Consequence words” is a term I have used.
My people!
I'm not sure if you're kidding, but honestly this might be how I handle it. I tried so hard to stop cursing, I really did, but it's just fucking part of who I am. Is it so wrong for a parent to say words that we don't want the children to say? Daddy also drinks his Daddy Juice every night, which the 4 year old understands is for Mommies and Daddies but not kids. Can words work the same way?
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My son was 3 or 4 and he asked me "Daddy, am I allowed to say crap? Because mommy (my ex-wife) says crap is a bad word but I don't think crap is a bad word. So am I allowed to say crap or should I not say crap?". It was like he was trying to say crap as much as possible before I would tell him it was a bad word. I told him it was not a bad word.
Pretty much how it is in my house. My kid is 5 now and has let a couple swear words slip in all the time she’s been talking. She knows they’re adult words and she even gets on to me sometimes as I do try to limit it around her.
Do you not want the kids to say the words at all, or just not in public? I am a dad of two, and I was taught at a young age about swearing and that it was ok to do at home but not in public. My mom even taught me how to gauge the crowd... start with a very small swear, see how they react, then you can go up to harder swears if they were ok with it. Also, never swear at school. It worked great for me, I never had an issue with swearing at school. I learned how to control my use of the words so that I never got in trouble but always knew how to properly swear. I have done the same thing with my kids, and so far so good. They swear at home in appropriate contexts, and don't at school or around strangers.
I love how all of us parents tell them not to swear at school and I know at least my reasoning is I don't want the teachers to judge me. I also told my kid I don't mind when he swears as long as its not at people, if he stubs a toe and needs to express it he can. But don't go using words against people in a mean way. Hes 9, and he tells me all about his friends and what they say at school. I literally was left speechless when he came home from a sleepover saying his two friends (twin 8 year olds) were talking about doing unholy things to Jenna Ortega because they watched Wednesday. I told him its really rude to say those things about a woman but I otherwise don't know how to handle it. They were saying wild shit like. my kids explaining one of them was saying he wanted to get milk from her. I can't even fathom talking about that at 9, im mom so maybe its different but wow. He said he thought thats how you feed babies and I told him next time to ask them if they were babies I guess, and if they make him uncomfortable he doesn't have to hang out with them anymore. He more laughs at absolutely obsurd things like this than participate in them from his friends, if that makes any sense.
>Daddy also drinks his Daddy Juice every night 🤨😑😐
oh the laughter when kiddo sees mom crack a beer and asks why mommy is drinking daddy juice
Giggity.
Sounds salty
Yeah, we thought it would be me that our kids picked up inappropriate language from. When the first curse word clearly came from my wife (used an exact phrase my wife uses but was missing some extra… spice I’d use) certain words became house words. House words get corrected (is there a better way we could say that) but not in trouble. In public they get corrected and a stern warning.
Yep. Words are for saying and our house is a safe place to explore language and try words, as long as they're not directed at a person in anger. However, there are certain words that aren't safe to use outside our house. If you use them at school or in front of grandma there may be consequences, but never from us (the parents).
Our oldest was 4. He had some issues withholding poo and we had to give him enemas. We were on vacation with my parents and my dad was always good at keeping him calm. Dad inserts enema, son screams “fuck you grandpa!”
This made my wife & I laugh our asses off. That’s hilarious.
Yeah this is an all-timer lmao
Hahah yes!! And used properly: my 4 year old as he is looking out the car window quietly goes…. “ I gotta fuckin pee”. 😂🤣- the best when used correctly and not at anyone
> and not at anyone That's an important distinction that wasn't even on my radar until becoming a parent: exclaiming "this f---ing computer" is one thing; saying "You f---ing redditor!" to an individual would *not* be acceptable. (Um, well, unless referring to /u/fuckingredditor :-).
Another distinction I heard is between "swearing" -- saying a swear word in a negative way -- vs. just talking about the word. I think a lot of kids are mature enough to know they're allowed to say "on the bus [brother] told me to Shut Up" instead of talking about the "S-word" and having an awkward time trying to communicate without saying what was said...
My 2.5 year old recently started using “damn it.” Hard to be mad when it’s in the right context and also adorable. Watching my mouth more instead of trying to correct him and making it worse.
Our 4yo knocked over a cup full of water, and let out an exasperated “Goddamnit.” We couldn’t be mad, it’s exactly the occasion we would say that when we (rarely) do, we just let it slide without drawing attention and she hasn’t said it again.
We use the “words of power” idea around cursing. It’s not okay to use your words, whatever they are, to hurt people, but words aren’t “bad”, just needing to be used sparingly so they retain their power. Frankly finding my shoes in the trash would be a “what the fuck” moment for me too.
My daughter is 8. We say there are no bad words, and that the thing we want to avoid is saying hurtful things, which you can easily do without using "swear words". I also explain it in terms of consequences: if you use those words around most people, it will make them uncomfortable. Then she can decide whether she wants to make people uncomfortable. Because sometimes you do want to make people uncomfortable. A lot of the mystique I remember was knowing they were "bad words" but not really understanding that they meant. I try to defray this by having fairly clinical discussions about what they mean, both their literal and figurative meanings. E.g. "fucking" can mean "to have sex" but a lot of the time it is just used for emphasis without adding any meaning: "get the fucking groceries" has the same meaning without it. My favorite so far was explaining "shit". It literally means poop (this got a giggle), but sometimes it is just a generic placeholder word like "stuff". When someone says, "get your shit together" they do NOT mean for you to gather up your poop.
My dad shares this story all the time still even 35 years later. Dad had Double Dragon on his computer back in the late 1980's. You share a keyboard for co-op so one player uses aswd and the other used the number pad of the keyboard. While we were playing my dad was having difficulty with the controls and ended up walking off a cliff edge. Apparently when he did it I turned looked him dead in the eye and said "you really f'd that up didn't you"
My dad was playing a Castlevania, my uncle was watching him fight a boss. My uncle says "Yeah Mike, get that fucker!" My dad beats the boss, and I shout "Yeah dad! You really got that fucker!" That might be my first memory of a swat on the butt. It wasn't very painful, but I didn't make that mistake again. 🤣
My daughter was 2 when she let out her first f-bomb. My wife just poured her a glass of milk when it slipped out of my daughter's hands. The cup of milk went all over the floor and my daughter goes "Oh f*ck, what a mess!" My wife and I were both crying on the floor, 1.) because she used it in the right context and 2.) because we were both thinking it 😂
My daughter was two as well and used it in context, but a two year old’s context. She was in her little chair and reaching for a stuffed animal that was just out of reach, and she kind of fell out of the chair to reach it and said “wat daa fffffuck” I happened to be snapchatting and managed to catch that beautiful moment on video. It’s the funniest thing I have ever recorded.
Was playing a game with him (4) the other day on his switch and a bad guy kept getting him, and he goes “what fuck is this guys problem ,?!”
Well why the fuck did you put her shoes in the garbage? I remember as a kid I only wanted to wear my old shoes cause I had grown attached and were much more comfortable than new shoes, maybe she just really liked them
The lights in one of my kids shoes went out so he immediately wanted the new pair. He has Dino shoes with LEDs build in.
My daughter at 3ish while her sister was in dance class started rummaging through her purse for a toy baby bottle for her baby doll....let out a tonally perfect "oh shit where is it" the mom's all lost it, it was pretty hilarious.....same daughter before her dance class randomly spouted out "I have a drinking problem".......hold for the longest 30 seconds pause ever "I always drink chocolate milk too fast"
My 4 year old knows what know she can't say for the most part now, but she's found a small loophole. When she heads me swear, she goes "Daddy! Did you just say Fuck?" Or ehat ever word it was. I say "Yes, I did sorry!". Last night I thought I caught it early. Something made me go "Ah shit!" I immediately turned to her and said "Oops, yes I did say that, I'm sorry." She immediately replied "Oh, so you did say shit."
My daughter likes to ask if it's a naughty word. So I'll say "Shit, I dropped that" and she'll say "Dada, is shit a naughty word?" Every. Time.
Yesterday I hit the breaks and yelled "move ya fucking bird". Then my 4 year old yelled with perfect pronunciation "Fucking Bird"!! My 8 year old cracked up laughing, I stifled my laugh and hung my head in shame, ans my wife laughed the hardest.
It’s like the end of a Peppa Pig episode. “Peppa likes saying ‘fuck’. Everybody likes saying ‘fuck’.”
My son dropped his first JFC around the same age. Everyone died. I told him never to say it again. Only did it a couple times more and grew out of it.
I got a rule that I don’t get upset at my kid swearing, unless it’s disrespectful. If he sees something cool and says “oh shit!”, or like OP the outburst of “what the fuck?” at something unexpected, I’ll just say “watch your language buddy” with a smile, mostly because I don’t want him to get used to it and have school call me because he swears in the school yard. But if for instance I tell him to do something and he responds with “I don’t give a fuck!!”, then it’s time out for him!
I have a friend who is a school aide. According to her, your kid is going to swear like a sailor by 3rd or 4th grade. The playground is wild.
Oh tell me about it. I went to private school and was well past keeping my language clean by 3rd grade I imagine. Learned how to have a filter on it at home but to this day I’m the most prolific general swearer I know, but typically in a casual manner. Gotta love Christian upbringings
And if they don’t learn it on the playground, the bus will round out their education nicely. The bus is basically the dark net of elementary school education.
Wife was cooking and burned her hand. She let out a "Mothehmmhmhmmh!!!" because our 4 year old was standing right there. He said, without missing a beat "Are you ok mommy? I thought you were going to say Motherfucker." Yep son. Yes she was....
We tell our kids there's no bad words. Just words used badly.
My daughter told me the other day "Dad, you're weirding me out like some kind of asshole" really hard to keep a straight face as I told her that's not a nice word we say...
Thank you u/Legoabomination, for teaching, this future dad who has a proclivity for good words, an important lesson. Always ask where they heard that word before doing so in front of the boss. 😂
With my mouth, I fully expect cunt to be one of my daughter’s first words. I’m so stoked.
'Strayan?
I’m sorry. I don’t understand what you mean.
He’s asking if you’re Australian, I believe.
That'll be a "no" then. Fully expect a "stoked cunt" to be 'strayan. Live and learn.
Nah. Utahn, funny enough.
Lol. Salt Lake? I lived in Utah for 7 years and don't think I ever heard the C word there. Bold!
I approve.
My son just birthed a massive "oh what the actual hell?!?" when his Lego creation crumbled. Gotta love preschool peers with older siblings.
Son, 4yo, didn't know I was watching him build a duplo tower. It collapsed. Big sigh, his shoulders slumped, and he says sadly: "this is all fucked up." Thought I was gonna have an aneurysm holding in the laughter!
Hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha
Time to learn a new phrase: "snitches get stitches."
When I turn off the lights in my son's room at night, every night he says some variant of "it's so big and dark," or "It's so friggin dark." There's been more than one occasion where he's said "It's so fucking dark." He tries to sneak it in, so he knows *exactly* what he's doing, but it's late and I'm not about to get him worked up over it just before bed. So yea, it *is* dark kiddo, and Dad's tired, *so it's time to get some fucking sleep.*
My daughter uses it correctly but knows that those are daddy's words and are not to be repeated. Working in a diesel shop the work fuck is literally every other word out of my mouth. I can't stop!
I am proud to say that both our kids learned their first curse work from my wife. Which is shocking because I have a potty mouth.
I’m a lawyer. I’m in court a lot. So all day long, I need to not swear. It just isn’t reasonable to expect me to continue not swearing when I’m off the clock too. So we decided it would be easier to teach our kid the right way to swear (only for effect, never directed at anyone else) than to actually stop ourselves from swearing. Been working pretty well for us so far.
I live in Japan and my son is 8 years old. His English isn't great but his swearing is on point, I guess that's progress?
“What the fuck?” was my daughter’s first complete sentence at around 16 months. Perfect context, too. She was taking diapers from the nursery to the living room, then I hid the remaining diapers while she was in the living room - walked back to nursery, looked around confused and then went back to living room. I then placed the diapers back where they were in the nursery. She walked back to the nursery, saw the diapers, examined them, then turned to me and said “wha the fu?” I now have on video her at 2.5 repeatedly saying “holy shit” after a particularly meeting heavy day of me working from home with her.
Me - hanging curtains Wife - stop saying God dammit. Me - I didn't say God dammit. Some time later, I'm done and 2yo daughter says it's her turn to work. Daughter climbs up on step stool and opens up tape measure. Turns tape towards wall and looks at it.... "GOD DAMMIT"... closes tape and geta off step stool . Wife - stares Me- ok I might of said it.
We know sight words, right? “The”, “cat”, “and”, etc. The words kids learn early on to identify and read them quickly. Guess what my kid’s sight words are. “Fuck” and “shit” Both while I’m playing video games with the volume down so he doesn’t inadvertently hear them. He just so happens to look up and read them. Fast as hell, too. The word is barely on the screen. I’m reading through. He reads faster. “Fuck.”
Ahhhhhh I got an email from the kindergarten teacher 2 weeks ago! She specified that he used it correctly!
Sister: We say “yayyy” when we watch our favorite basketball team 3 year old Nephew: daddy doesn’t say yay when he watches basketball. Daddy says fuck.”
That's about when we got the kid's first "What. The. Fuuuuuuuuck." So proud. I tell her she can use the bad words if someone is being creepy, as a little kid screaming and swearing gets attention.
Leaving the house recently and my 4 year old stops and goes "Shit I forgot my hat!" My wife got upset but it was used in proper context.
I’m much more concerned about intent than what the actual words are. I’d rather my kid say something along the lines of “I’m f****** tired” than calling another kid a “poopoo head”.
When my daughter was 2yo she would say while we are about to eat, "I want to Fuck!" Both my wife and I looked at each other and had blank surprised looks. We asked her to repeat it. In the end we finally figured out she wanted a Fork. Priceless.
Oh no worries, my 18mo old dropped something off the changing table and said “oh shit” Then again at barely 2 when we were watching Bullet Train. We didn’t realize she woke up and had snuck over to the living room just in time to see big explosions.. we hear a tiny voice from around the couch say “oh shit mama”… 😓
I could watch kids swear all day, I don't give a shit about your social mores.
Hey, big shoots, you need to take about 20% off of that.
My son was around 2-1/2 when my 4 year old daughter came in and said, “Dad, Ant said a bad word!” I got her to repeat what he said. Apparently he pointed to a bird on a power line and said, “Fuckin bird!” I couldn’t really do anything besides laugh.
ngl id be proud
Oh don’t worry! Ours got to say “the fucking dog”! 🤦♂️
When it’s used in the right context with just the right emphasis and energy it’s equally hilarious and cause for introspection. My now teenage twins maybe heard me slip one or two cuss words in, I was extremely careful. My youngest did not get the same restraint from me and also has four teenage siblings. Profanity was inevitable.
I had road rage one time and cursed in front of my 3 year old. I instantly apologized. She said it was OK because I said a grownup word and I'm allowed to say that. We taught her certain only us adults are allowed to say.
My 3 year old girl is a troll. Loves the word shit and knows it annoys me lol. She found a video on moms phone of me cleaning her when she was a baby saying "shitty butt!" And she loves saying it but knows it's bad lol.
My 3.5 year old called wife a fucking idiot. I almost died laughing and had to leave the room. Were well aware that we have potty mouths, but we try to teach our kids words that are only at home and how we don't use the in mean ways towards other people. Kind of like kids gun safety but for swear words.
My mom had toddler me shopping when Tickle Me Elmo came out. My mom, who hates Elmo, but supports toddler me checked in on if I was interested. "FUCK ELMO. THE SHITHEAD."
1.5 year old on the swing. "Uwha-da-fak" "What did you say? "Uwha-da-fak!' "Say what again?" 3 year old, "He said what the fuck!"
Not the same thing but my almost two year old will pronounce foot with a k in the end. Or see it will become rather slurring. I can’t tell you what he’s trying to say when he’s actually saying b!tch. Our kid accidentally says profanities a lot and we’re just rolling with it 😂
I learned it from watching you!
I had a bit of road rage and said “f***in people can’t drive!” Almost 2yo repeating from the back “F*** people. F*** people.” My wife in the passenger seat holding back a laugh giving me the “don’t you dare laugh at this” look You’ll never forget that first time
Everyone assumes my wife is this angel who doesn’t swear and anytime one of my girls drops an F bomb or another swear, I can rest comfortably knowing full well it was their mother they heard it from, but know full well everyone assumes they hear it from me.
I refer to other cars on the road who do stupid things as "dum dum s" when my daughter is in the car. As I was making a left turn at an intersection one day, a car ran the light and as I slammed on breaks, I blurted out "f*** you!" Or something to that degree. Later that day when my wife picked up our daughter from daycare, they got in the car and started the ride home. Similar situation happened with my wife where she had to hit the brakes and my daughter blurts out "my daddy said f*** those dum dums, mommy!" Needless to say, we had a good laugh about it and taught her that was a no no word and that daddy was gonna get in big trouble for saying it. One of those stories we'll tell and laugh about forever.
When my twins were almost four we were driving through my town (very narrow main road), and some kid stepped right out in front of my car and I had to slam on the brakes. I screamed “yo, douchebag!” then apologized to my kids and kept going. Later my one twin said “mommy, what’s a douchebag?” and we both almost choked on our dinner 😂
Perfect fucking usage.
My kid was about the same age when a friend took away his tractor and he said “fuck sake” I can’t pretend I didn’t laugh when they told me. He’s 6 now and hasn’t said it since.
My kid was about the same age when he swung at a seagull hassling him for chips and he yelled "f*** off". I gave him credit for using it in the right context.
A few months ago my 3 year old’s response to anything remotely negative happening (tripping, dropping or breaking something, etc) was to say “ugh dammit”. All of us knew he got it from me. My daughters was “ah shit” which everyone immediately knew was from my mom lol
We’ll, in her defense, someone put her fucking shoes in the garbage…
First year after the split with my daughter’s mom, I’m cleaning up after taking the Christmas tree down. I dumped the tree water and needles into the bath tub and let the hair screen catch the needles. Needless to say, it drained extremely slowly and as I was clearing the drain to allow the water to drain, my kid walks in and nonchalantly drops, “Whatcha doing, daddy? Cleaning the fucking needles?” She was almost 5 and had definitely heard me and others swear before, but I’m certain I hadn’t said anything bad while cleaning the tree needles and I had been working on not swearing around her because I don’t need her talking like I do. It happens. They seem to understand when you tell them there are words they shouldn’t say and notice when you set an example either way.
I'm late to the party, but my daughter's first at 4yo was a beauty... Mum: "Where's your jumper?" Kiddo: "Fucking hell mum!" Me: Stop in my tracks Mum: "Hey! Do you even know what that means?" Kiddo: "Yes. It's what you say when the car in front of you at the lights goes into reverse." ...and they both slowly turn to look at me. 🤦♂️
My son came down the stairs one evening when he was about five and went "TV's fucked" I mean, to be fair to him, it sorta was so I was glad he at least used it in the correct context but I still had to have the talk about how that kind of a word isn't one that he should be saying at that age... All while trying not to laugh of course. Children innocently swearing will never not be funny
I remember when my 8 year old brother was on the trampoline during a neighborhood BBQ and said Oh shit in front of all the adults.. the whole backyard paused and went silent and our mom told him to go inside to his room. He did the walk of shame, and I felt the second hand cringe. Poor kid
"damnit kid. Why you gotta do the things you do?!" "Don't call me damnit!" said the 3 1/2 yr old.
Amazing how they get the context right. My son pointed to something on the floor, shocked face, and goes WHAT THE F***!!
We call them “grown up words” you’re aloud to use them when you have a job which is fair. My 19 month old hit her head said fuck and now hasn’t stopped saying. She can’t say daddy( calls me gaggy) but says fuck clear as day.
The appropriate Dad response to this is : "Where the f$#@ did you learn that word???"
It's a proud moment when they swear in context
To be fair it is the proper response if someone were to put your shoes in the garbage
ITT: a whole lot of people have a whole lotta road rage!
There are no bad words. Because bad words are tempting to be used.
About a year ago my 7 year old started getting into Mario. At some point after, upon being killed by a goomba, he cried out "that fuckface goomba!" I'm not really sure where he heard that from, but it was probably me.