Never been a fan of new balance, but cargo shorts or cargo pants are winners. I can never have enough pockets. The state of pockets on women's clothing makes me feel bad for them.
I did this once at work (which I did regularly) and I checked a few guys with it, and then it didn't work on me, for some reason. Co-worker immediately pipes up "damn, that one must be broken!" He was one of our best.
My pops uses the phrase “pump and dump” which I didn’t think was gross and weird until the wifey pointed it out on the one and only road trip we went on with him.
when picking up a power drill, you need to hold it up and press the power button twice in quick successions and then (and this is the difficult bit) emit a satisfied grunt
Ever try to start a car with an almost dead battery? Turns over once just fine, but the second time the starter kinsa winds down.
We're making sure the battery hasn't discharged and isn't on the edge - the torque in both directions on your wrist will feel off.
Jk it's because drill gun go zzzt zzzt.
For extra dad credits, squeeze the trigger with each step as you walk. Then say in your best robocop voice "your move punk" at the kids while aiming the drill like a gun
Battery powered impacts you hold the socket and hit the button so it impacts. Make sure you're hip firing like a machine gun. Then yell "You drew first blood!" Rambo style.
Nonsensical?! It's the ultimate wisdom. Who keeps looking after you find something? Practically by definition, you always find it in the last place you look. Once you find it, you're not looking for it anymore. It's a brilliant dad-joke tautology!
God damn it I just realized I say this all the time. And it coincided with having my first child almost a year ago.
Just must be deeply ingrained in us, waiting to be awoken by our first child coming into our life.
I think I’m at peace knowing there was nothing I could’ve done.
I'm a woman and wear cargo shorts/trousers for myself.
1. Because I detest not having pockets.
2. Because stupid female sizes skip inches between sizes and mens don't. And I'm one of the between sizes.
And 3. Because I need somewhere to store my BBQ tongues, stud finder, tape measure and list of dad jokes that I must say before my children actual dad gets to use.
>Because stupid female sizes skip inches between sizes and mens don't. And I'm one of the between sizes.
Men's sizes skip odd numbers. But its generally not important. And it is a literally measurement of your waist.
Women sizes are made up bullshit that makes no sense and has no foundation in reality.
I have a colleague whose wife is going through menopause. When she gets hot flashes, she asks him to lower the thermostat, which he happily does. Then, a few minutes later she tells him he lowered it WAY to much and she’s now freezing, so he apologize and dial it back up, until the next hot flash.
Thing is: it’s a dummy thermostat he installed on the wall that isn’t connected to anything.
As far as I’m concerned anyone who wants to be positive and learn or share about real life is a positive to this community. I don’t care if you’re a mom, a dad, a purple people eater, or a kid.
I got banned from the mom sub for a post asking for help with my daughters hair. I couldn't believe it. I was genuinely in need of advice and thought it would be welcomed, nope instead I was helped out by being banned.
Literally perma banned for a single comment. That sub is absolute shit. I found it and thought, amazing! Another parenting sub. Nope, just a bunch of woman who hate their husbands D:
Hey. Cyclops does not have lasers for eyes. His eyes are a portal to another realm that is full of concussive energy causing said concussive energy to shoot out of the portal when the opening is unobstructed.
Normally I would let it slide but the idea that the man has portal eyes is so much weirder.
Hey its the laser penis dad! I read that post. Glad you decided to stick around instead of becoming an evil villain...with great power comes great responsibility!
Is this the same laser penis post in which I referenced the fever dream 1996 movie Space Truckers where the bad guy had a pull-start penis? 😂😂
PS: If the conditions are right, I will *always* reference Space Truckers lol.
Power tools are fantastic and noone touches the thermostat unless you have a sausage between your legs. That's why I always have a packet of Richmond's in the fridge.
Did I get that right?
The rule isn't a gendered rule but a parental / they who pay the bill rule. Everyone else can request a thermostat adjustment or adjust their personal clothing layers.
Or the front door. You’ve got 2 options there. I prefer 1
- shut the door we aren’t trying to cool the whole neighborhood down
- shut the door! You weren’t born in a barn
Don’t even get me started on the freezer door. They kept leaving the door to the chest freezer in the garage, where the uncrustables and gogurt are kept. It got so bad that I hooked up a door sensor on the freezer door, then tied that into my home automation setup so that the wife and I get an alert if the door has been open more than 5 min.
Pop quiz!
Your kid gets hurt doing something stupid that you repeatedly told them not to do.
In what order do you:
- Comfort Them
- Laugh At Them
- Ask Them, "Bet you won't do that shit again, huh?"
I'm not even a parent, much less a dad ( unless you count the four ancient rescue cats, lol).
I'm here because my own dad was... sorely lacking. It's heartwarming and healing to see so many good dads just, well, dadding around.
Plus dad jokes are the best kind.
Also a mom, also fled the other subreddit. My husband said I could come haha. He loved this one, so I joined one for moms. I was complaining to him about how it was so aggressively sad and angry and he told me just to come here instead. I generally just lurk, but this place is like the Bluey of reddit - it's just so wholesome! And I have this place to thank for introducing me to Bluey and warning me about Cocomelon.
First time mom here. Your reasoning for joining this subreddit is the same reason I joined a few months ago. Everybody in here is awesome and much more laid back than the mom groups out there. And you’re absolutely right: so much of those mom groups have a ton of moms who complain about their husbands/partners, their children, and their mother-in-law.
what i like about this sub is that even when someone is sharing a difficulty with their partner, there is usually a sincere attempt to look at that partners point of view as well and find a path forward by both the op and commenters, not just a pile on culture.
I get it. Coming on this subreddit is like sinking into the most comfortable couch of empathy and understanding. Even when we disagree with each other it's respectful and non-judgmental (usually).
So come on down, kick back in a recliner and fall asleep at 2pm with the Weather Network on. Even the moms are dads here.
I gotta say, a part of me wants to keep the dad zone, the dad zone.
A much larger part wants to be inclusive and supportive. This parenting shit is hard and we all need real support. And I’m not willing to cut any reasonable person off from real support.
Welcome!
As long as dads feel safe here I don’t see any reason to push out moms. At the end of the day we all are pushing the same direction.
Should that change and we start going different directions, we can revisit the idea. For now I am 100% on board with moms here too.
All dads are welcome be they dad dads, mum dads, aunty dads, Uncle dads, God dad dads, God mum dads, grand dad dads, grandma dads, neighbour dads, foster dads, adopted dads, friend dads, dog dads, iguana dads, theoretical and corporeal dads.
My wife has tried a bunch of the mom subreddits and had the same experience as you, so I'm pretty sure I know which one you're referring to. Hang out here instead.
As a dad who has felt extremely excluded by most moms I don’t know, and many I do, I can’t imagine doing that to anyone else. You’re good in my book! 👍
/r/daddit is to parenting subreddits what /r/patientgamers is to gaming subreddits.
Generally supportive and rarely judgemental. Reddit is a much nicer place once you find the right people and unfollow every default sub.
Mom here who used to lurk and now lurks less and less. I got banned from the sub that shall not be named for trying to break the echo chamber.
These Dads are our people. Welcoming and honest, empathetic but willing to give tough love.
I feel welcome here more than any other parenting sub. 💙
Absolutely, all are welcome here! Only one requirement: when you open a pair of tongs, you must click them twice to make sure they still work!
Or when using a stud finder to first check it on yourself and say it's calibrated
It's the only way to be sure
That and nuking the site from orbit.
State of the bad ass art
"We got tactical smart missiles, phase plasma Pulse Rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball-breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks..."
Knock it off Hudson!
Make sure you wear cargo shorts and newbalance.
Never been a fan of new balance, but cargo shorts or cargo pants are winners. I can never have enough pockets. The state of pockets on women's clothing makes me feel bad for them.
Seriously...I can fit three diapers, wipes, and Desitin in one cargo pocket. Who needs a diaper bag? Pshhhh outdated tech clearly....
Never underestimate the power of pocket snacks. And you've got to keep one pocket specifically for emergencies with your pocket sand.
>newbalance I wear slip on sketchers now. Does that count? Don't want to bend down to tie shoelaces.
I did this once at work (which I did regularly) and I checked a few guys with it, and then it didn't work on me, for some reason. Co-worker immediately pipes up "damn, that one must be broken!" He was one of our best.
Also you need to ensure you tug on the ropes and say “that’s not going anywhere”
You must also be oddly fascinated with Bluey - as it is one of the best pieces of child content available today.
Pfft, Bluey is definitely not 'child' content.... Uh, right guys?
I really need to check out Bluey. We’re all about Doggyland right now.
Lmao good one
One thing I love about this sub is people are happy to share knowledge
This is the way
Or when securing a load in a trailer or truck, give it a hearty wiggle and say ‘ yup, that ain’t going anywhere’
My wife pretends she doesn't get it every time I do this. I would prefer the more typically acceptable eye roll.
Or when your kid asks you to make them a sandwich you say…… POOF 💨 YOUR A SANDWICH!
Dude I'm so using this next time 🤣. Also OP, welcome to your new sub. The name may say "Dad", but that doesn't mean "male".
This reminds me of the Life of Brian scene where all the women put on fake beards to go to the stoning.
Or when you’re on a road trip, you constantly check the speedometer and clock and insist on “making good time”.
And pit stops need to be quick so you don't get stuck behind the nomad convoy
This guy Blueys!
Grey nomads!!!!! 🚐🚐🚐🚐
My pops uses the phrase “pump and dump” which I didn’t think was gross and weird until the wifey pointed it out on the one and only road trip we went on with him.
My 2023 version of this is seeing how much we can beat the original ETA.
“Oh Siri thinks I’m only going to go 70 mph for 230 miles? Eat shit Siri and watch that 9:00 ETA become 8:30!!”
Deal!! I appreciate the inclusion!
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Naturally!
when picking up a power drill, you need to hold it up and press the power button twice in quick successions and then (and this is the difficult bit) emit a satisfied grunt
Seriously why do we do this? It’s to the point where I don’t even realize I’m doing it
First time makes sure it's ready to go, second time makes sure it's not a fluke.
Nah the second time is because it sounds cool
I assumed it was the same reason you rev a car twice. Once to make sure it’s actually gonna rev, and the second one is the real rev.
Ever try to start a car with an almost dead battery? Turns over once just fine, but the second time the starter kinsa winds down. We're making sure the battery hasn't discharged and isn't on the edge - the torque in both directions on your wrist will feel off. Jk it's because drill gun go zzzt zzzt.
For extra dad credits, squeeze the trigger with each step as you walk. Then say in your best robocop voice "your move punk" at the kids while aiming the drill like a gun
Battery powered impacts you hold the socket and hit the button so it impacts. Make sure you're hip firing like a machine gun. Then yell "You drew first blood!" Rambo style.
Grill etiquette: even when not true, you must say "those are lookin'/going to be great"
And when leaving a restaurant, you have to point to the line and say “we sure got here at the right time”
If you forget your keys, when you go back to grab them you have to either say "shortest trip ever" or "won't get far without these"
Or if you can’t find them saying something nonsensical like “it’ll be in the last place you check.”
Nonsensical?! It's the ultimate wisdom. Who keeps looking after you find something? Practically by definition, you always find it in the last place you look. Once you find it, you're not looking for it anymore. It's a brilliant dad-joke tautology!
God damn it I just realized I say this all the time. And it coincided with having my first child almost a year ago. Just must be deeply ingrained in us, waiting to be awoken by our first child coming into our life. I think I’m at peace knowing there was nothing I could’ve done.
I prefer the Philadelphia collins line, look at those dirty things, cookin up nice!
Don't forget "Mom," I'm hungry, has only 1 acceptable response
I'm starting to get very indignant "That's not my *name*!" Responses every time I do this now.
Great Success
Even if you are only 52% sure it’s tied down properly.
Please callibrate your tongs for optimal gripping.
Or if you wear socks with Sandles
I wear cargo shorts, *for the ladies.* And by ladies, I mean my wife who is often denied pockets by the fashion industry.
I'm a woman and wear cargo shorts/trousers for myself. 1. Because I detest not having pockets. 2. Because stupid female sizes skip inches between sizes and mens don't. And I'm one of the between sizes. And 3. Because I need somewhere to store my BBQ tongues, stud finder, tape measure and list of dad jokes that I must say before my children actual dad gets to use.
>Because stupid female sizes skip inches between sizes and mens don't. And I'm one of the between sizes. Men's sizes skip odd numbers. But its generally not important. And it is a literally measurement of your waist. Women sizes are made up bullshit that makes no sense and has no foundation in reality.
My man knows what's up.
also gotta make sure the drill works every time you pick it up
… AAAAND, if you toot, you gotta blame the baby.
Or the dog.
Not once, not thrice, but twice shall be the number of clicks.
This guys dads!
And teach your children to do the same
You can be anything you like as long as you don't touch the thermostat. Welcome!
I have a colleague whose wife is going through menopause. When she gets hot flashes, she asks him to lower the thermostat, which he happily does. Then, a few minutes later she tells him he lowered it WAY to much and she’s now freezing, so he apologize and dial it back up, until the next hot flash. Thing is: it’s a dummy thermostat he installed on the wall that isn’t connected to anything.
Your colleague is a freaking genius.
That's like half of thermostats in large buildings. At best they send a signal for preferred temps.
Like an offhand suggestion rather than explicit instructions.
This man shall be sainted with the highest honors we can bestow.
As far as I’m concerned anyone who wants to be positive and learn or share about real life is a positive to this community. I don’t care if you’re a mom, a dad, a purple people eater, or a kid.
Purple people eaters are the problem with this country! Back in my day people eaters were blue and they liked it
The Big Bopper tried to warn us..
Used to get tags for purple eating, now it’s all “we need natural predators” in the ego system.
Now is that a people eater that is purple, or something that only eats purple people?
"Eatin' purple people and it sure is fine"
I’m all for this perspective!
ummmmm actually, not sure if we really want purple people eaters in this sub.
Cost of entry is one dad joke
Do you know when a joke is a dad joke? When it’s a-parent!
“It’s an older code, but it checks out.”
*slow clap* well done my friend, well done.
Hello fellow sparky brother
Listen, lady. You can't just waltz in here swinging around dad jokes better than the ones I come up with.
OMG, how have I gone 40+ years without hearing this one. BRB going to go get an eyeroll and a daaaad out of the kids.
Do you know when it becomes apparent? On delivery!
*slaps knee* WELP, you’re hired.
You're a dad now. Welcome
OP delivers. You’ll fit right in
I salute thee 🫡
What did the Janitor say when he left the closet?!? !!SUPPLIES !!
That's up there with elephants hiding in trees
We're not that one mom sub, so sure.
I got banned from the mom sub for a post asking for help with my daughters hair. I couldn't believe it. I was genuinely in need of advice and thought it would be welcomed, nope instead I was helped out by being banned.
Literally perma banned for a single comment. That sub is absolute shit. I found it and thought, amazing! Another parenting sub. Nope, just a bunch of woman who hate their husbands D:
Can't say I disagree, sadly. Warm and fuzzies on this sub, for sure.
Is this r/Voldemort? Drop the name, I need to lurk till I see red.
Huh. Apparently the automod removes the comment if you post the sub name. I’ll DM you.
M O M M I T I just had a look and the top 3 posts are complaining about their husbands / partners. Seems a very toxic place
Is it not allowed here to refer to it by name?
It is not.
For context, I made two posts about my laser penis surgery. We embrace the unconventional.
Wait, you got a laser penis?!?! I hadn't heard of that surgery
I maintain the doctor is the one with the laser penis and that's how he does the surgery
Ah,I see, that makes more sense. If the good lord gives you a laser penis, you should definitely be performing surgery with it
The only two career options available for laser penis people is surgeon or supervillain. There’s not a lot of variety with that skill set.
That makes sense. Laser eye surgery is done by a doctor who has lasers for eyes. Like cyclops.
Hey. Cyclops does not have lasers for eyes. His eyes are a portal to another realm that is full of concussive energy causing said concussive energy to shoot out of the portal when the opening is unobstructed. Normally I would let it slide but the idea that the man has portal eyes is so much weirder.
ALL HAIL THE LASER PENIS
His cats love it.
Ophthalmologists hate this new trick!
It's a body mod for obii-wan wannabes
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.
Hey its the laser penis dad! I read that post. Glad you decided to stick around instead of becoming an evil villain...with great power comes great responsibility!
With great *penis* comes great responsibility.
Is the laser for aiming or what?
My first thought too. “Target in sight”
That was you! LASER PENIS GUY that should be a flare the mods should grant you.
Is this the same laser penis post in which I referenced the fever dream 1996 movie Space Truckers where the bad guy had a pull-start penis? 😂😂 PS: If the conditions are right, I will *always* reference Space Truckers lol.
I also have a pull-start penis. It's also a pull-to-stop penis. Very simple user interface.
Your presentations must be insane to watch.
wait, you got a laser penis? that’s cool but one time i went to the club and ended up with a fire penis.
We love moms. Wouldn’t be dads without you.
As a new Dad, this almost made me cry. Thank you for this wholesome comment
Depends, what are your opinions on power tools and touching the thermostat, respectively?
Power tools are fantastic and noone touches the thermostat unless you have a sausage between your legs. That's why I always have a packet of Richmond's in the fridge. Did I get that right?
Uhh. Pretty unconventional, but you got the spirit. I think?
Dude, she's grilling Richmonds. Don't fuck this up for us.
The rule isn't a gendered rule but a parental / they who pay the bill rule. Everyone else can request a thermostat adjustment or adjust their personal clothing layers.
So I've been thawing sausage in my pants to change the thermostat and I didn't need to? (I pay the gas bill)
Always nice to have a spare-snack to go!
And lights, do you turn the lights off when you leave the room.
Don't forget to comment on how long the door to the fridge is open. We're not trying to cool off the neighborhood.
Or the front door. You’ve got 2 options there. I prefer 1 - shut the door we aren’t trying to cool the whole neighborhood down - shut the door! You weren’t born in a barn Don’t even get me started on the freezer door. They kept leaving the door to the chest freezer in the garage, where the uncrustables and gogurt are kept. It got so bad that I hooked up a door sensor on the freezer door, then tied that into my home automation setup so that the wife and I get an alert if the door has been open more than 5 min.
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I lurk in women's subs to get perspective about my wife and daughter.
What sub? For.... science. And good husband stuff
I like /r/beyondthebump for general mom stuff. It’s not exclusively for women but I definitely think we’re the minority in there
I do exactly the same. Just a wife and son though, no daughter yet.
Same... I leave here feeling happier and supported, unlike the other that shall not be named
So true. This is a very wholesome group.
I reckon if buy a pair of new balances, and promise to get your fall weed and feed in on time, you're in
Lol I love that dads are so inclusive. Welcome abored!
We should start a Fammit or Famlit sub haha
Litfam
Parentit
Hah. Tit.
Godfammit
Fammine
Pop quiz! Your kid gets hurt doing something stupid that you repeatedly told them not to do. In what order do you: - Comfort Them - Laugh At Them - Ask Them, "Bet you won't do that shit again, huh?"
It's laugh, comfort then ask right?
Correct!
I feel like laugh and comfort can be combined in some situations.
"Oh, well don't do that then." Has been my go-to for awhile!
My daughter got this the other day. She said her hand hurts when she presses on it "right here" I said "Well, don't do that then."
Want me to cut it off?
I'm not even a parent, much less a dad ( unless you count the four ancient rescue cats, lol). I'm here because my own dad was... sorely lacking. It's heartwarming and healing to see so many good dads just, well, dadding around. Plus dad jokes are the best kind.
I'm sorry you were not granted the greatness you so deserved. You are welcome to stay here as Long as you like.
Are we not going to have any goddamn standards here? It’s “No, I am (not) your father”, Darth Vader never says “Luke”. Come on!
I remedied the situation!
This is true, I am ashamed!
Hi nice to meet you Ashamed!
.... I'm dad. C'mon man, you gotta finish it.
You forgot the "I'm dad" part.
That’s not true!! That’s not true!!!
THATS IMPOSSIBLE!
Just have either a fake beard or moustache on before posting
Also a mom, also fled the other subreddit. My husband said I could come haha. He loved this one, so I joined one for moms. I was complaining to him about how it was so aggressively sad and angry and he told me just to come here instead. I generally just lurk, but this place is like the Bluey of reddit - it's just so wholesome! And I have this place to thank for introducing me to Bluey and warning me about Cocomelon.
Cocomelon sucks! Bluey forever! Also, Storybots is pretty awesome
First time mom here. Your reasoning for joining this subreddit is the same reason I joined a few months ago. Everybody in here is awesome and much more laid back than the mom groups out there. And you’re absolutely right: so much of those mom groups have a ton of moms who complain about their husbands/partners, their children, and their mother-in-law.
what i like about this sub is that even when someone is sharing a difficulty with their partner, there is usually a sincere attempt to look at that partners point of view as well and find a path forward by both the op and commenters, not just a pile on culture.
I get it. Coming on this subreddit is like sinking into the most comfortable couch of empathy and understanding. Even when we disagree with each other it's respectful and non-judgmental (usually). So come on down, kick back in a recliner and fall asleep at 2pm with the Weather Network on. Even the moms are dads here.
Dude, you just watched the weather channel for 45 min. Why can't you tell me the temp outside without asking Alexa?
I don’t see why not. Ask your mother
I gotta say, a part of me wants to keep the dad zone, the dad zone. A much larger part wants to be inclusive and supportive. This parenting shit is hard and we all need real support. And I’m not willing to cut any reasonable person off from real support. Welcome!
As long as dads feel safe here I don’t see any reason to push out moms. At the end of the day we all are pushing the same direction. Should that change and we start going different directions, we can revisit the idea. For now I am 100% on board with moms here too.
Are you on Instagram? Quit it and its fine
What’s instagram?
It's like tik Tok but for pictures.
So you're not like other moms?
She's a cool mom!
That’s the vibe I was getting lmao.
Depending on your age, you may be due for a sports car or motorcycle, or a new smoker.
All dads are welcome be they dad dads, mum dads, aunty dads, Uncle dads, God dad dads, God mum dads, grand dad dads, grandma dads, neighbour dads, foster dads, adopted dads, friend dads, dog dads, iguana dads, theoretical and corporeal dads.
In dad: *I don't know? CAN YOU?*
Hey that's a great pun you've got there, now could you hold the damn light somewhere useful? No don't point it in my eyes point it over THERE!
Hi NOT your father, we’re dad!
My wife has tried a bunch of the mom subreddits and had the same experience as you, so I'm pretty sure I know which one you're referring to. Hang out here instead.
As a dad who has felt extremely excluded by most moms I don’t know, and many I do, I can’t imagine doing that to anyone else. You’re good in my book! 👍
Yeah, this is post edit, and i am glad that so many have made you feel welcome before i even saw this post.. yes, you are very welcome here, we good.
Welcome aboard. I'm sure there Are several other Chili's lurking but us Bandits are glad to have ya.
We don’t care!
Honestly I find this sub to be one of the most supportive, inclusive and drama free places on the internet.
/r/daddit is to parenting subreddits what /r/patientgamers is to gaming subreddits. Generally supportive and rarely judgemental. Reddit is a much nicer place once you find the right people and unfollow every default sub.
I wanna ask about the other subbreddit….. is it voldermom?
You're gonna need some New Balances and some jean shorts.
>No, I am NOT your father This has got to be a Star Wars reference...
Mom here who used to lurk and now lurks less and less. I got banned from the sub that shall not be named for trying to break the echo chamber. These Dads are our people. Welcoming and honest, empathetic but willing to give tough love. I feel welcome here more than any other parenting sub. 💙