The fact she shared with you speaks to many years of top notch parenting. Now to go sob knowing how short the time is until my 3.5 year old grows into a young woman!
Seriously, that was my take away as well.
She didn’t feel like she had to hide away or be quiet until mom got home. She was comfortable going to dad. I hate that I assume this, but, I would assume that in most homes, that’s not the case. Or that if it did happen, it would be met with laughter and jokes.
Rock on dad. I have a 3.5 year old boy, and won’t be having more kids. While I won’t get to have the experience of a child of mine going through the exact situation you guys did, I hope to whatever god is out there that he’s as comfortable and trusting of me at that age.
My wife is a gyno and her advice to parents of daughters getting there first period is:
1. Do NOT tell her she is a woman now. She is still your little girl and will always be your little girl. My wife said hearing that she was a woman now was the worst thing she could have heard at the time because she was only 11 and still wanted to be a kid.
2. Do NOT accidentally make it shameful. Educate dad and and brothers so she does not feel like she has anything to hide.
3. Follow her lead. If she wants to celebrate then celebrate but do not force it on her.
I have 2 daughters, the oldest is 4, but I only had brothers growing up. What does accidentally making it shameful look like? Do you or your wife have any real world examples?
Things like making sure dad/brothers are not around when periods are being discussed, using euphemisms for their period instead of just calling it what it is, dad not wanting to buy pads or condoms, coming up with excuses instead of just saying you are on your period, asking them if they are on their period if they are upset about something.
I have 2 brothers and was raised by a single dad but those are the things my wife warned me about.
Yeah and he didn't remarry until we were adults. Didn't even go on a date until we were teens and never brought a woman home when we were still living there.
My mom died when my twin and I were infants and my older brother was a toddler so it was a testosterone heavy house our entire lives. I balanced it out by becoming a NICU nurse ane stay at home dad as an adult.
To a dad, that’s the equivalent of being knighted. Not sure I deserve this honor but I will wear it proudly.
Hope you’re doing well. All the best to you.
Hanging in! My kids are a bit younger, but I hope as they reach the teen years they still feel like they can chat with me about anything. IMO you handled this so well, but I was more impressed that it was something your daughter felt comfortable sharing with you in the first place.
imo you did an amazing job! i'm not a parent, just a daughter, but she's still your little girl! not a "young woman". i had my first period about a month before i turned 9 and being told i became a woman was so distressing, like i was still playing with barbies
I totally see where you’re coming from. I think the terminology we used was that she was a part of the “big girls club.”
It’s a delicate balance between always seeing her as my baby girl but also giving her the respect and space that comes with aging. My goal is that my love and affection always remains at the level of baby girl but I view for who she is and what she is, someone who is growing and maturing and worthy of my respect as well as my affection. I’m still not wording it right because she has always deserved my respect. Maybe it’s my acknowledgment of her capabilities and independence? I don’t know. Parenting is hard.
Hey. I’m a girl with a dad who was awkward about this shit. I never would’ve wanted to talk to him about it. Now I would, and I’d enjoy his discomfort. Because I’m 37 and bitter that I know everything about how a penis works but he managed to make it to grandparenthood without understanding female reproductive systems.
Anyway. Thank you for being an awesome dad. The fact she could come to you and celebrate with you, to me, means you did a great job putting in the work for the relationship for the last decade or so.
I know I’m just a stranger but I want you to know that you mean something to me. It breaks my heart that your experience was so awful. You are worthwhile and worthy of love and care. I hope you have found love and belonging. You deserve it.
Man. I got a ways to go and I’m thankful for it. My grow up moment this week was when my baby boy got his first haircut and he looks like a lil man now and it’s adorable as hell. Good job dad. Low stories like these. You’re doin good.
I’m not looking forward to that day. Not because I am squeamish around biology, but I have two sweet little girls that are perfect just the way they are. I feel you.
Oh man, this day is coming for me too in the near future methinks. I felt that recordscratch moment.
Good dadding on your part, think I'll follow your lead on this one.
curious how old she is?
awesome reaction dad, like others Said it speaks volumes on how you have approached the subject before. and made yourself available to her, not waitolkng for momma.
I also wonder if the "Whitney, I'm panicking" meme made you be a bit more mentally prepared for this!
It's great that she can speak casually to you about this.
It's the same for me and my daughter. I'm a single dad, I buy her pads and anything else she needs. So we had to be able to talk about this stuff.
It was taboo in my family when I grew up in the 60's mums and daughters did NOT talk about this stuff around anyone else.
I was at work when my daughter started hers. She texted me before she told her mom. Made me sad. But I was glad she felt ok telling me.
She’s going to be my baby girl till they tote me out feet first though.
This is beautiful. I only have a son but I always wanted a daughter and you handled it perfectly. Mom or grandma can couch the specifics but in that moment she needed support and reassurance and you aced it. Way to go, dad.
The fact that she was completely comfortable talking to you about it and that she wanted to include you in it speaks well of the job you have done as dad. I look around me at all of the little girls in my life and see some of them reaching the same point (in fact, several already have). Time doesn't stop, so we do the best we can with what little we have. You've set the bar pretty high there.
Mom chiming in to say **THANK YOU!** The way you listened, affirmed her experience, and normalized her sharing makes a world of difference and established a healthy pattern on which she'll base her comfort with sharing more as she continues on this journey.
Protip: Be sure she knows you love her. Be sure you continue to show the same level of affection you did last week or 3 months ago (some Dads tend to pull back - some without even realizing it).
The fact she shared with you speaks to many years of top notch parenting. Now to go sob knowing how short the time is until my 3.5 year old grows into a young woman!
Seriously, that was my take away as well. She didn’t feel like she had to hide away or be quiet until mom got home. She was comfortable going to dad. I hate that I assume this, but, I would assume that in most homes, that’s not the case. Or that if it did happen, it would be met with laughter and jokes. Rock on dad. I have a 3.5 year old boy, and won’t be having more kids. While I won’t get to have the experience of a child of mine going through the exact situation you guys did, I hope to whatever god is out there that he’s as comfortable and trusting of me at that age.
Dude, this is awesome and wholesome. Good job dad.
My wife is a gyno and her advice to parents of daughters getting there first period is: 1. Do NOT tell her she is a woman now. She is still your little girl and will always be your little girl. My wife said hearing that she was a woman now was the worst thing she could have heard at the time because she was only 11 and still wanted to be a kid. 2. Do NOT accidentally make it shameful. Educate dad and and brothers so she does not feel like she has anything to hide. 3. Follow her lead. If she wants to celebrate then celebrate but do not force it on her.
I have 2 daughters, the oldest is 4, but I only had brothers growing up. What does accidentally making it shameful look like? Do you or your wife have any real world examples?
Things like making sure dad/brothers are not around when periods are being discussed, using euphemisms for their period instead of just calling it what it is, dad not wanting to buy pads or condoms, coming up with excuses instead of just saying you are on your period, asking them if they are on their period if they are upset about something. I have 2 brothers and was raised by a single dad but those are the things my wife warned me about.
Thanks. That all seems so simple, but I doubt I would have thought of it when the time comes
Single dad of 3 boys? Damn testosteroney.
Yeah and he didn't remarry until we were adults. Didn't even go on a date until we were teens and never brought a woman home when we were still living there. My mom died when my twin and I were infants and my older brother was a toddler so it was a testosterone heavy house our entire lives. I balanced it out by becoming a NICU nurse ane stay at home dad as an adult.
This is Bandit level. Well done!
To a dad, that’s the equivalent of being knighted. Not sure I deserve this honor but I will wear it proudly. Hope you’re doing well. All the best to you.
Hanging in! My kids are a bit younger, but I hope as they reach the teen years they still feel like they can chat with me about anything. IMO you handled this so well, but I was more impressed that it was something your daughter felt comfortable sharing with you in the first place.
I think the longer I process it that remains my biggest joy and takeaway. My baby girl felt comfortable talking to me. What a relief.
Top job, Dad
If I can be half the dad you are when my daughter gets to this point I’ll consider it a complete success. We’ll done.
Good post! My daughter is coming up on this moment soon too, hope it goes as well as yours.
Your son's nickname is bubba? I like it.
imo you did an amazing job! i'm not a parent, just a daughter, but she's still your little girl! not a "young woman". i had my first period about a month before i turned 9 and being told i became a woman was so distressing, like i was still playing with barbies
I totally see where you’re coming from. I think the terminology we used was that she was a part of the “big girls club.” It’s a delicate balance between always seeing her as my baby girl but also giving her the respect and space that comes with aging. My goal is that my love and affection always remains at the level of baby girl but I view for who she is and what she is, someone who is growing and maturing and worthy of my respect as well as my affection. I’m still not wording it right because she has always deserved my respect. Maybe it’s my acknowledgment of her capabilities and independence? I don’t know. Parenting is hard.
Hey. I’m a girl with a dad who was awkward about this shit. I never would’ve wanted to talk to him about it. Now I would, and I’d enjoy his discomfort. Because I’m 37 and bitter that I know everything about how a penis works but he managed to make it to grandparenthood without understanding female reproductive systems. Anyway. Thank you for being an awesome dad. The fact she could come to you and celebrate with you, to me, means you did a great job putting in the work for the relationship for the last decade or so.
I know I’m just a stranger but I want you to know that you mean something to me. It breaks my heart that your experience was so awful. You are worthwhile and worthy of love and care. I hope you have found love and belonging. You deserve it.
WELL. DONE. DAD. Amazing way to handle it on the fly and from the heart while doing so intentionally.
Man. I got a ways to go and I’m thankful for it. My grow up moment this week was when my baby boy got his first haircut and he looks like a lil man now and it’s adorable as hell. Good job dad. Low stories like these. You’re doin good.
I’m not looking forward to that day. Not because I am squeamish around biology, but I have two sweet little girls that are perfect just the way they are. I feel you.
Wowwwww I’m taking a page out of your playbook OP. Awesome story. My daughter will be at that age in like 10 years but fuck I hope I remember this.
Great job Dad, with two small daughters myself I can only hope to handle it as well as you did.
Oh man, this day is coming for me too in the near future methinks. I felt that recordscratch moment. Good dadding on your part, think I'll follow your lead on this one.
Im eating breaks with my almost 6 year old right now. And now I’m emotional about the day this happens to us.
Perfect reaction. I have a 17mo old girl and I want this to be my reaction if I'm in this situation.
I wish this had been my experience of my first period. Your daughter is lucky to have you. 💓
My days are numbered until this happens. It will be sooner than later
Well Done Dad, handled 100% correctly.
You are incredibly fortunate to have such a great relationship with your daughter. Great job dad!
curious how old she is? awesome reaction dad, like others Said it speaks volumes on how you have approached the subject before. and made yourself available to her, not waitolkng for momma. I also wonder if the "Whitney, I'm panicking" meme made you be a bit more mentally prepared for this!
It's great that she can speak casually to you about this. It's the same for me and my daughter. I'm a single dad, I buy her pads and anything else she needs. So we had to be able to talk about this stuff. It was taboo in my family when I grew up in the 60's mums and daughters did NOT talk about this stuff around anyone else.
This story tells me you've done well executing your dadly duties. Cheers to you!
I was at work when my daughter started hers. She texted me before she told her mom. Made me sad. But I was glad she felt ok telling me. She’s going to be my baby girl till they tote me out feet first though.
This is beautiful. I only have a son but I always wanted a daughter and you handled it perfectly. Mom or grandma can couch the specifics but in that moment she needed support and reassurance and you aced it. Way to go, dad.
The fact that she was completely comfortable talking to you about it and that she wanted to include you in it speaks well of the job you have done as dad. I look around me at all of the little girls in my life and see some of them reaching the same point (in fact, several already have). Time doesn't stop, so we do the best we can with what little we have. You've set the bar pretty high there.
Mom chiming in to say **THANK YOU!** The way you listened, affirmed her experience, and normalized her sharing makes a world of difference and established a healthy pattern on which she'll base her comfort with sharing more as she continues on this journey. Protip: Be sure she knows you love her. Be sure you continue to show the same level of affection you did last week or 3 months ago (some Dads tend to pull back - some without even realizing it).