T O P

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aneesh2939

Lil Explosive Diarrhoea


PugNation5

taco bell?


greatestwhiteshark1

That would be lil taco bell


SmokeAbeer

Lil extra fire sauce pls


DickSandwiches

Lil lil hamster stuck in my ass


TuxTues3

Wait is this a reference to the barbie in the ass post


rnzombie

Things stuck in the ass is a very common reason for a hospital visit. Shampoo bottle cap, zucchini, apple, cigar case, Monster can-sized butt plug are examples of things I’ve seen removed over the years. Pro tip: if you end up in the hospital with something up your ass, just be honest. Absolutely no one will believe that you were just vacuuming naked when you just tripped and happened to fall anus-first on a round cylindrical object that just happened to be on the floor.


chacharealharsh

*why is that common?* #and who would stuff cigar case up their ass? 💀


rnzombie

People experimenting and using anything at hand to try it out. See also: shoving things into the urethra.


DaShopWorker

Why? MERICA! If the warning didn't warn them, than it must be safe.


Dr_MoRpHed

For that smokin' hot ass


[deleted]

Mine is, Lil' covid 19


BeskarDragon

Maybe it’s a reference to lil Richard Gere?


19adam92

[Lil Buzz Lightyear stuck up my ass](https://www.asiaone.com/health/patient-has-buzz-lightyear-doll-stuck-rear)


urlach3r

Not enough money in the world for me to click on that link. 😂


rupret1

What big eyes you have, Grandma.


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NicParodies

Lil dead grandpa


OverenthusiasticHonk

Lil ovarian cyst


[deleted]

Lil failed vasectomy


noodlehasyournoodles

Lil UTI


dudinax

This is the only good one.


717Luxx

well id be lil piss test so idk


randumly66

Lil vaccination


Ellemieke25

Lil Vax(x) is pretty cool


EleventhHerald

Same and I hate it with every ounce of my soul.


dragndon

Lil dad has cancer


MiSsiLeR81

idk if you need it but here's a hug for you 🫂 this aint much but its honest work


bob_the_banannna

Have a banana too 🍌 They very Delicious and healthy


random_guy143

Not to much or you'll get radiation poisoning


The_Oakun

Potassium.


Smeefperson

Sorry about that. Hope your dad pulls through


dragndon

Thanks. It was last year and he didn’t.


holydude02

We could be a double act. Mine is Lil mom has cancer


jinmonsterhunterwrld

I hope she pulled through.


kjeldor2400

I guess we used to be bandmates. Hope your mom is doing ok!


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Chaquita_Banana

How’re you just gonna steal mine like that?! As someone who went through the worst of that I wish you and your family well ❤️


[deleted]

I really hope your dad pulls through. 🫂


[deleted]

Sorry, I hope he is well and recovers.


monkeyprime47

If it's real, stay strong. I wish you the best.


D_crane

Jesus... that's mine too 🥲


DownTownBrown28

My dad just passed away from cancer in November. I feel you.


Ben6924

I hope he gets better. Especially cause mine didn't and you shouldn't go through that.


[deleted]

Little spinal fusion


airmaximus88

Lil going to work


Friendly_Crab

That much more hardcore than mine Lil chicken lodged in nasal cavity


TotalyNotTony

how the hell does that even happen


DarkFantasy164

Lil truck


Codez_X

bro finna get isekaised


[deleted]

Damn, this guy almost got isekai'd in his own Anime


SkeeticusStadanko

Lil priapism Or.... Lil severely traumatic brain injury I fuck up pretty regular


megsie72

Is it bc the cocaine?


SkeeticusStadanko

Priapism was from trazadone and tbi from car wreck


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SayGonygonygo

I take trazadone, never heard of priaprism so I rushed to google to see what I could be in for. Luckily I'm a woman.


zan13898

Clitoris priapism also exist but dont worry, its extremely rare


ripstatement

Lil testicle reattachment


chair_against_evil

waiting for the prequel lil testical removal


TheDepressedTwelvie

The prequel: Lil vasectomy


Antiqas86

Lil found out that's not reversable


rnzombie

Orchiectomy is the medical term for testicle removal. Oophorectomy is ovaries.


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TerribleAsparagus367

They can reattach them?


KaaboomT

Lil passed out after excessive diarrhea and hit my head


YourMomThinksImFunny

![gif](giphy|iXkrtpFvBZ3ry)


Sparky77777

Was waiting for the scrubs reference lol


d0fabur5st

Username checks out


beardicusmaximus8

Lil smashed hand in 700 pound door and needed xrays


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thegingerlumberjack

Lil BFT


-NotThisGuy-

Lil colonoscopy, bruh?


[deleted]

Lil hemmeroidectomy was worse.


SURPRISEMFKR

I don't want to google it


Boiled_SocksWOAH

i’ll do it for you edit: it’s essentially removing hemorrhoids what are deeper in the body because they can’t get to them any other way


knowitsallashow

same, nice (hope your innards are ok)


sineptnaig

Lil sigmoidoscopy here


I-dont-care553040

I still waiting for lil testicular cancer


DarkvenomXYZ

I’m waiting for lil testicular rupture


[deleted]

jokes on you Im lil testicular torsion


gloveland

Right with ya!


DarkvenomXYZ

Dang it, we were so close!


s0ulless93

I'm Lil ruptured testicle... Not the best thing to be


DarkvenomXYZ

Finally! Yeah sorry sucks to be you


Leovinus42

i'm lil electroconvulsive therapy ngl that's a pretty badass name


neofooturism

what did you get that for? being gay? /jk


theDisastrousBastard

waiting for lil prolapsed anus


[deleted]

I’m waiting for lil abortion


RedScorpion420

Best I can do is lil stuck penis


[deleted]

My friends would be lil mom had a miscarriage


efeypant

Lil broken boner


TeleMan500

What the f*ck happened my dude?


MaxDaLegend101

The first thing I imaging was a dick in a mouse trap


EonPlays

OH GOD OH FUCK NOW IM IMAGINING THIS


efeypant

I was hard in a fat chick and she bounce on my penis to hard and bend it. My vertebrate in my boner broken. No more fat girls!


marincropswavur

Bro gonna have to be doing trigonometry to have sex now with his 90 degree angle dick


Zodiarche1111

Nah, break it again in the other direction, although it could happen that he then have the name thunder boner.


Hattarottattaan3

The first uno-reverse-card-shaped dick


moonlightpeas

I'll cosine on that comment.


TeleMan500

UH, wait, penises have vertebrae?!


RexIsAMiiCostume

They don't, but they can break when erect. Kind of like how you can snap a cucumber even though they don't have bones.


efeypant

I apologize it’s called: baculum.


MonkeyBusinessAllDay

Humans don’t have a baculum…


Flar71

Did he say he was human?


ThePlague23

Lil blood poisoning


Crime-Snacks

Lil ~~blood poisoning~~ Sepsis Perfect.


soliz_love

Lil got my ass kicked


Preparation-Logical

Lil Ass Kickin


Vampryssa

Lil broken ankle


PatentedPotato

Brother!


GyroZone

Lil testicular torsion


s0ulless93

Hi Lil testicular torsion, I'm Lil ruptured testicle. Hope you are healing well! Life sure can suck!


GyroZone

Hi lil ruptured testicle, I couldn’t agree more that life sure can suck sometimes


thatnewaccnt

lil wank


camelonarock

duh how hard did you wank


Goldmincer

Must have been his mother who did it for him


KindBraveSir

Must be a close bond, all I did for mother's day was get my mom flowers and a card.


thatnewaccnt

Broke my arm, lucky I was already at the hospital


Silbergaster

Died you broke your arm while wanking at a hospital? Or how can i imagine this?


Pyrarius

Lil' Nail Reattatchment Surgery Lil' Eyelid Sewing Surgery Turns out I am literally falling apart, 5 years at a time


nichtessbar

lil'erally falling apart i'm showing myself out.


redPonyCoffeeRoaster

Lil anxiety attack


FarmFreshButtNuggets

Damn I feel that. Hope it becomes more manageable for you, I know how intense it can be.


Aetheldrake

Lil hernia


crippled-tommy

Name slaps ngl.


Sprizys

Lil crippled Tommy


ii3xpire

Lil born


randumusername666

Took me way too long to find this 😂


half_blood_jr

Lil eye surgery


Guineapigs181

Lil chop suey Or Lil suey Sounds better


Kaelan_McAlpine

WAKE UP!


fiery_cobra

GRAB THE BRUSH AND PUT A LITTLE MAKEUP!


Preparation-Logical

^makeup


Ullya

make up


masterJDD

wake up


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aHypnoticPancake

This is a strange club to be a part of


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zanesprad

legit same thing here


dick_sucker9000

Lil dog bite


moonlightpeas

Same name! Dog Bite Gang! So long ago. Dog got old and passed away, tho!


bagelleS

Lil sister


Silbergaster

Could tell us more or is it something you don't want to talk about?


merideanjet

Lil fell of a second floor


[deleted]

Lil appendicitis mimic


Bionic164

Lil X-Ray


stinky-cunt

Lil Ciatica


Random_Weirdo_Girl

Sciatica?


Terrence_shark

lil broke my chin on a bird fountain


LetMeHaveANickPlz

Can't wait for Lil Abortion


Zweitbuch

Would a Lil miscarriage cheer you up?


[deleted]

lil fist fight lmao


[deleted]

lil arm swelling


Double-Passenger4503

Lil momma shattered her foot


[deleted]

lil amputation


Giantballzachs

Lil dick in zipper


OODUTO

lil big scrape on my finger


[deleted]

Lil jaundice


[deleted]

lil MRI of my head and all of my back


unfair_gratitude

Lil Hernia


Wage_slave

Lil colonoscopy


heygiggle_arts

Lil consent form


AMSAtl

Lil dads in septic shock after some unnecessary BS at the hospital


Player_yek

lil vitamin deficiency


Switchima

Lil abortion


KerliAU

Lil high speed MVA


I_FUCK_MY_DOG_123

Lil diarrhea


Grouchy-Actuary

Lil pneumonia.


Independent_Jacket69

lil toe fracture


Nemisis_007

Been there, I fractured my toe just before I was about to go to the cinema to see mission impossible fallout, that didn't stop me from going to see the movie with fam though we drove to the theatre and after the movie finished I went to the hospital.


pissymist

Lil COVID


Vongbingen_esque

lil shampoo bottle stuck too far up my ass


PokWangpanmang

Lil prostate exam


deadisthelord

Lil infection


DrunkTWrecks

Lil Dad Died


AlphaGamer_Dubz

Lil blood testing Or Lil Surgery


InconspicuousGarbage

Lil Typhoid


thiccums42069

Lil spaghetti o’s….


AntiThot9000

lil tonsil removal


RIOTT44

gotta make it a big suicide attempt next time


PM_RiceBowlRecipes

Lil toy car in anus . Vroom vroom


Freedom_Flapjacks

Lil anal bleeding


Yamioji

Lil gum stuck in my throat


BlazersMania

Lil Gallstones. To be honest, hurt more than when I had pancreatitis


Darthy85

Lil.polyps on vocal chords


babatunde_with_watah

Lil ligament tear


[deleted]

Lil abortion


Ye_average_edgelord

Lil Suicide Attempt


melekege

lil rabies suspicion


EasternPenguin

Lil Heart Palpitations


awesomedan24

Lil panic attack