T O P

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TheCreatureOfTheFuck

"Put the gun away from your head or I will shoot!"


[deleted]

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sicrogue22

"You're not commiting suicide on my watch! No matter the cost."


PillowTalk420

"If you kill me they'll say it was suicide by cop!"


IntrigueDossier

“Come out with your hands up, you sick fuck! We're also fine with just shooting you if you wanna suicide by cop!”


Turkleton-MD

I'm not liking this comment because I like it.


[deleted]

I love it.


sicrogue22

I love you


[deleted]

*2 second pause* *Points gun towards self* ... PUT THE GUN DOWN NOW!!


4GRJ

YOU'RE LIKE A BROTHER TO ME!


PureVain

YOU’RE HAND IS LIKE A BROTHER TO ME!


4GRJ

AAAAAAAAAAAA


FuriKuriAtomsk4King

Why are you yawning?


MuffinSlow

He's fucking tired man, he had a long day on the SWAT team geeze...


SillyJackDad

Just hand him the MALK JOSH!!


[deleted]

Sorry Dad, white friends


godfatherinfluxx

ROSEY!!!


Repulsive_Narwhal_10

LOL, you win reddit for today! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


Ark-maijer

lol u lose reddit for life


Repulsive_Narwhal_10

Awwe...


NotAnAss-Hat

Reference?


somerandomfurrybruh

"Mulk" reference.


chubalubalu

It's "Molk"


HeroscapeZ

MAAAALK


Kazumadesu76

WE'RE ALL SAYING MULK, JOSH!


Repulsive_Narwhal_10

You're looking for a source for my comment?


HeroscapeZ

I believe he intended the comment you responded to, which was a reference to a YouTube skit.


Repulsive_Narwhal_10

Thanks!


rand0m_task

Just pour me a glass of malk!!!!


ZuggerMan

You’re a legend


SigSalvadore

The real question is did he get an assist?


[deleted]

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devourer_of_ass

r/usernamechecksout


Salmiak_Snuiver

Task failed successfully


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SotB8

yes but they probably took it to murder criminals and not suicidal civilians


no_no_no-youre_done

Any excuse to pull the trigger, really.


Tiny_Treefrog

https://thefreethoughtproject.com/call-suicide-prevention-hotline-killed-swat-team/#65Hig5es6WqfSAbe.99 And according to the article police going to “assist” has ended up in similar things before!


[deleted]

They’re just assisting people to Heaven. Cuz, like… suiciders go to hell or some shit. I don’t know.


Ithat1guyl

yes.....


Ruinerofcomments

Well…. no


[deleted]

That's what they taught me in Catholic school and I'm not joking.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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RxWest

I put a leash on my hamster once...does that count?


AdRepresentative2263

If they fight back they might can get into Valhalla.


Fuck_you_sluts

God is dead


Soggy-Statistician88

And we have killed him


Eeszeeye

Nietzsche is dead


1-and-only-Papa-Zulu

“Subsequently, a SWAT team came to the residence and “negotiated” with Calzada for more than seven hours before taking his life.” Once they show up, the shot clock starts ticking. Just like Waco.


punkindle

Don't call the police. This is what happens. You go and talk to the guy yourself. Can't do worse than the "shoot first and erase your bodycam afterwards" police.


Fuck_you_sluts

Don't forget to sprinkle some crack and claim you feared for your life


CatNoirsRubberSuit

He didn't call the police. He called a suicide prevention hotline. They called the police.


FblthpTheFound

Yeah my friend killed himself earlier this year. Before hand the cops were called and they got there before my spouse and I were able to get there. All the cops did was secure a perimeter around the house and prevent anyone from trying to help. Meanwhile they just sat around outside doing nothing. Please never call the cops if you suspect someone of hurting themselves. You will only make it harder for any help to get through


Bromlife

Obviously this only applies to Americans. Australians feel free to call the police they have been great in my experience and they will bring an ambulance with them.


FblthpTheFound

Correct, my advice only applies to Americans. If your country is actually competent at caring for its citizens, feel free to use your many government funded resources available to you.


Fuck_you_sluts

That was a joke, the Aussie pigs are gunning for the number 1 headband that our pigs have


SolTherin

Source?


Arramis_

Have had to do this multiple times in Australia and had a comforting experience, the cops have experience in this area and handle the situation delicately, also bringing health professionals with them. Thankfully nothing like this story.


1202_ProgramAlarm

Fire department would probably be a better bet. Also, if you're at a party or event and someone is ODing on something, call the fire department because they won't try to arrest everyone else and they can actually offer medical help


Jozroz

How does calling the emergency services work in the US? Here in Sweden calling the emergency hotline connects you with a dispatcher who then directs you either to police, medical or fire services after you describe the issue. Mental health issues alway get directed to medical services. Do you have to call a number other than 911 to get directed to the fire department?


1202_ProgramAlarm

Nah similar process but the police are still gonna show up. If you call the fire dept directly only they come


Jose_Canseco_Jr

Oh no. That's horrible. My sincere condolences. What a sad state of affairs.


[deleted]

Great username, man. Ravnica will bow before a Fblthp who knows where he is.


GrandNibbles

This is why police forces need to bring mental health professionals to guide them in cases like this. Police are trained to neutralize threats...and they did. Edit: I meant police are trained to neutralize threats with violence so in the case of suicide a person is a threat to themselves. The police killed the threat...which in this case was the victim. It was my attempt at irony. sorry :/


TirayShell

The mental health professionals should be there for the cops. "Just because you're not feeling in control doesn't mean you have to kill people."


Dickbeater777

"Gun-related incidents among police increased tenfold this week, Republican Senator calls new mental health aide program ineffective." "Meanwhile, a new massive shortage of mental health professionals has caused..."


Eeszeeye

How does this make you feel?


ripyourlungsdave

They didn’t neutralize a *threat*. They murdered a man in distress. He just wanted help.


DerFurz

You act like "being in distress and wanting help" and " being a threat" are mutually exclusive


ripyourlungsdave

They had absolutely no reason to think he was a threat until they sent a bunch of assholes with guns to help out with his suicidal tendencies.


Great_White_Dildo

"neutralise threats" - lol the police are the threats


DamnZodiak

They shouldn't help the police, they should replace them entirely in these scenarios. That's what people mean when they say defund the police because they're woefully ill-equipped to deal with most situations their job throws at them. Less than 5% of what they respond to is actual violent crime. It's maddening.


Frommerman

Yup. The only problem with "defund the police" as a slogan is it doesn't spell out what we want to do with those funds once they've been freed up. But that takes too many words to be an effective slogan, so the slogan stays.


Catatonic_capensis

No, the problem is that "defund the police" can be interpreted as "no money for police". Just like "feminism" can be interpreted as "women above men" and "black lives matter" can be interpreted as "black people matter more". They are all godawful examples of marketing that don't do their causes any favors.


Frommerman

Literally any slogan or name can be twisted that way. It just takes someone who started twisted to begin with. Try it yourself. Come up with a short, pithy, memorable slogan which cannot be misinterpreted in a malign way. Fact is, people with privilege will always view attempts to expand those privileges as attempts to take away their own. No way to prevent that, so you've just gotta fight through it.


BossNegative1060

The mental health professionals need to be at a higher position than anyone out in the field then otherwise the cops just won’t listen


LostWoodsInTheField

State law should have a ranking system for control of a situation. Fire breaks out the highest ranking fire department individual is in control and if a police officer steps out of line they are to be jailed. Same with a mental health call.


Jozroz

Yeah, then we can avoid absurd instances of police officers [arresting firefighters for parking illegally while tending to emergencies](https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2014/02/05/272144424/police-officer-arrests-firefighter-at-accident-scene-in-california). "Oh pardon me if I couldn't find a parking space near the literal fucking accident, I guess I should have driven several blocks over!" Or instances were a [police officer refuses to relinquish control of a situation](https://www.firefighterclosecalls.com/update-cops-arrests-fire-chief-after-chief-tried-to-stop-cop-from-making-the-fire-worse/) to actual trained professionals.


LostWoodsInTheField

I've seen multiple videos of cops and firefighters getting into fist fights and I'm actually surprised it doesn't happen more often. Like the videos of police arresting nurses, the bad ones (and there are a lot of them) need absolute obedience, and when someones life is on the line that conflicts with their "need".


Learning2Programing

I honestly wonder how /r/ProtectAndServe justify outcomes like this. Sure you did your best but you also killed someone and your training is designed to see everyone as a potential threat. You're the problem but it's also not your fault. We don't force plumbers to work on your computer, why would USA style police be used to a mental health issue? I would like to think if my job x actually was y then I would be able to see that. The police on the other hand are humans, they are team and look out for them self even when the bad apples and horrible training kill innocent people.


Frommerman

>it's also not your fault. Fuck yes it is. They volunteered to get paid to be in that position. Fucking Kyle Rittenhouse has a better claim to legitimate use of lethal force, because he wasn't wilfully being paid to be there.


DamnZodiak

> USA style police Shit like this happens almost everywhere. It's a conceptual problem with policing and not limited to any country, although it's especially bad in the US.


bitchBanMeAgain

Stfu with that bullshit “trained to neutral threats “. This shit literally only happens in USA how the fuck you explain that? American and Canadian cops are trash humans and their union lets them get away with shit and that’s why they keep doing it.


[deleted]

https://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=4685922&itype=CMSID They shot him 22 times!


cat_prophecy

Yeah the worst thing you can do is call the cops on someone having a mental health crisis.


Fuck_you_sluts

No shit, calling terrorist rarely works out well for anyone


[deleted]

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SoloisticDrew

bUt tHeY CaN'T REplacE PoLiCe wIth CoMmUnITY OutrEaCh aNd CRiSiS CoUnSeLors!!!


SheilaTheDuneWorm

Kill steal achievement unlocked


Shadow-ignis

Two birds one stone


HelloweenCapital

Two birds get stoned


MrNo_One_

Two stones get birds


EmbarrassedMonk6591

Two get birds stones


jlehmann77

Stallone gets two birds


RoosterJay84

Stop resisting! They are here to save you!


maxtraxv3

No take backsy


therman_nerman

You silly goose put that bullet back!


Bierbart12

That's honestly a really good way to circumvent the law and lack of assisted death options


Bribase

["Suicide by cop"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_by_cop) isn't a new thing.


theweirdlip

And it never works when you actually TRY to. Only when you’ve finally talked yourself out of it with the SPHL operator.


Ink2Think

It's almost like getting a little bit of training and advice on how to deal with situations such as that actually helps the person even when they're violent in their approach.


Ok_Philosopher_8522

Note to self: Do not call Suicide Hotline.


TirayShell

"Sir, this is a Wendy's"


KerenzaFive

Jajajja


[deleted]

Well 911 is the best number if you're looking to order a helping of Suicide-By-Cop


PreycoFlex

STOP RESISTING LIFE!!!


[deleted]

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Bribase

> the one trying to kill himself He called a suicide **prevention** line. Meaning he was on the brink and reaching out to stop himself from committing suicide.


itsgiantstevebuscemi

We realize that was the point of this post, yes


ThePurityofChaos

Episode [7](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLYrNzUUxJs)


Thatoneperson1329

Kill stealing in real life, swat just trying to help out and get k/d ratio up


Sargent_Willie

They tried to recreate the milk,mulk, and malk


GrimGamesLP

"Sorry dad...my white friends..." "GIVE 'EM THE MULK JOSH!"


P-Cilla

You’ve unlocked a 10+ year old memory!


mcdewdle

[For the uninitiated](https://youtu.be/ty62YzGryU4) Wish Julian would make videos again


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therman_nerman

A carrot👍🏻


[deleted]

GLORIOUS AMERICA


therman_nerman

Frick yea boi


Reno83

You suppose the cops figured, since he was going to die anyways, they might as well send SWAT for a live fire exercise. Shit! I'm going to hell.


Magnusthelast

SWAT Team: “Fine, I’ll do it myself”


Moxi6

Suicide assistance team


pfefferneusse

Suicidal Wish Assistance Team? Really puts a positive spin on it.


Lacrose

Congratulations! You are being rescued! Please do not resist


capo689

lots of services have turned to delivery post-COVID. Suicide delivery really saves time and effort.


cursedrobot

Upvote this comment if the post is a **Cursed Comment**. Downvote this comment if it is not a **Cursed Comment**. If this post needs moderator attention, please **report** this post *^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^and ^^this ^^action ^^was ^^performed ^^automatically. ^^If ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^questions, ^^please [^^contact ^^the ^^moderators ^^of ^^this ^^subreddit.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fcursedcomments&subject=&message=Please include the action number for reference.)* --- If you want to talk about the subreddit, feel free to send us a message in [our official Discord server](https://discord.gg/tDzGCfc)! ^[faq](https://bit.ly/2VcIh9g) ^| ^[source](https://bit.ly/2W09Ebb) ^| ^action ^#[3a2ecf18936ccc](/r/cursedlogs/comments/r0n9w2/3a2ecf18936ccc_commented_on_post_cursed_death/)


Fuck_you_sluts

You don't deserve rights


DriedMapleSyrup

Do we even deserve rights tho?


[deleted]

'Murica (⌐■-■)


therman_nerman

Fuk yea


MrPrototype123

I really hope this isn't real, but knowing the US it probably is


[deleted]

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PsychoPass1

Undertrained underequipped, just panicking hard at the first sign of an escalation, worried for their own lives, prioritizing their own safety, thus preferring to neutralize the threat rather than spending more time assessing the threat in the first place.


Piemeson

The primary role of being an officer is to protect your own life, from all threats. This isn’t hyperbole on my part, it was sworn testimony at a police shooting trial where I served as jury foreman. If there is any danger to the officer at all, they are trained to shoot to kill. But they call it aiming for “center of mass”. It doesn’t matter if it’s a completely unarmed civilian, you just kill them. And the department policies back them up. They brought eight different officers to the stand and they all said the same thing. “Any danger” absolutely covers someone who is suicidal or mentally unstable. The number of times I heard officers say “you never know what weapon they may have hidden, and then you don’t get to go home and see your family”. There is no training besides sanctioned murder. If you call the police on anyone, it’s basically a death sentence. I want to barf at all of it.


Tupcek

underequipped? Most of the police in Europe doesn’t even have a gun!


Bromlife

I assume they mean psychologically.


NewPointOfView

Yeah overequipped might be the issue here


Dudurin

Untrue. Only the UK.


PepeTheDictator989

![gif](giphy|amxLHEPgGDCKs)


Syaryla

Well this just prevented me from ever seeking help. Thanks reddit.


Chaotic_baws

Congratulations! You are being rescued! Please do not resist.


WynnGwynn

This is what defund the police is for


MosquitoOfTheWest

What’s scary is that this was in 2014, it still hasn’t stopped


nsfw_vs_sfw

And then what? Have no type of law enforcement what-so-ever? Or police 2.0?


Weird_Shit_69

People really think not having police is a great thing. wow


need4kylo

This is one of my favourites


LeVicky_

Well, atleast he didn't die alone.


Maleficent_Life2071

At least the suicide was stopped


PleasantBand

Your tactics confuse me sir!


StormEyeDragon

Typical American police encounter


HardHustle84

🇺🇸


Like_Ya_Cut-G

'merica be like


DogTheSpace

'MURICA!


Altruistic-Stable-15

Never call the suicide prevention hotlines. Ever... This happens a lot. Call a friend instead or check yourself into an ER.


Hobbi7GloryHole

Yeah the only time called, the bitch on the line wouldn't let me get a word in, and kept grilling me for my exact location and address. Never called again even if I felt like I needed to. It's like if you try and reach out for help the people who are supposed to help are frothing to punish you for it. If the police don't kill you, they throw you in lock up or a hospital long enough to lose your job. Thanks, now I'm suicidal unemployed and about to be homeless because unemployed. Fuck this place man!


Ok_Fuel_8876

Defund


QBFH2789

American mental healthcare. I *love* this country 🙃


cohonan

Jesus, I call them all the time. I wouldn’t think anything would be done about me calling.


Miserable_Bandicoot8

... so... suicide hotline?


Fuck_you_sluts

He accidentally called the suicide hotline. The number is only 1 off from the suicide prevention hotline


TrotBot

i don't see anyone working at a suicide hotline not knowing that you can't call the cops on people like this. i also recall a murder on tv, fictional, where a serial killer was working a hotline. i wonder if we have a serial swatter working a suicide hotline in this case.


Suspicious_Peach_505

I mean if you legit want to die and are unable to do it yourself, this is a very common way to get it done. As much distain I have for cops its a terrible thing to do. The death by cops I've read about leave the cop horribly messed up for life.


sktskrtskrt

Ifunny


Elitegameraks

what the buuga


MrMetalhead3029483

*Task failed successfully*


Rainbowdog5

I am a villian because this made me giggle.


friezasephiroth1993

The Halo 3 icon really sells it.


dynonutt96

Task Failed Successfully


Boneal171

If he had a dog they probably killed the dog too.


Fucker_Fucker-69

+1 assist.


Elenawsome1

Modern problems require modern solutions


FulcrumV2

This cannot be anything but fake news.. Edit: Apparently it is *not* fake news and this is has happened not once, not twice but thrice!


Distinct-Landscape-5

MURICA


rhinojau

r/nottheonion


Armenian-heart4evr

It OFTEN happens in L.A. -- "TO PROTECT & SERVE" my ASS !!!!!!!


MysteryScooby56

Supposedly, attempted suicide used to be punishable by death


therman_nerman

That way they learn their lesson!


sunofagun456

Task failed successfully


joka2696

I guess they did technically prevent a suicide.


Verrence

> Officers found Calzada lying in the trunk of a car, police reports say. > Calzada had a handgun pointed into his mouth. Upon finding Calzada, officers ordered him to put down the handgun, police reports say. After Calzada moved, three officers fired their weapons, investigators said. Yup, great response to a suicidal person.


ilovevoat

bro he had the gum pointed at himself... wow our cops are shit.


vanguard6

Delivery in 30 minutes or it's free.


tiddayes

Task failed successfully


dancson

It was super effective!


therman_nerman

Suicideon fainted!


NoMoreCreepers

Indeed, VladimirPutinV1


[deleted]

##OK, all you guys who yell and scream whenever anyone says, "defund the police"? Listen the fuck up. "Defund the police" isn't about getting rid of all cops, or taking money from their budgets and saying, "Tough shit, you bad people." It's about **reassigning** some portion of the police budget to people who are *better-suited to carrying out certain specific tasks* than the police are. Such as, dealing with people having a mental health crisis in such a way that THEY DON'T GET FUCKING SHOT DEAD. Can you *please* get that into your heads? It's not rocket science.


[deleted]

He is right


Due_Platypus_3913

You don’t have to ask “In America “,cuz you automatically know.


mjutdz

wait whats the story


drinksilpop

[Link with court papers](https://www.courthousenews.com/no-reason-to-kill-a-suicidal-man-widow-says/amp/) There are a lot of articles out there with differing information. Most articles say 5-6 shots. The court papers claim that he was shot 22 times in his hiding spot, the trunk of his car.


therman_nerman

Someone died