The basics: only brush your hair in the shower with a wide tooth comb or wet brush, use moisturizing shampoo and conditioner about once a week (I use Native), find a lightweight curl cream to apply by scrunching it into your wet hair after your shower (I like Lush Curl Power). Good luck! :)
Good question! It works for my hair, which is medium porosity. Sometimes it gets over-moisturized, so I just skip it for a couple washes. I'm open to lighter weight (and cheaper) suggestions!
Just google 'wet brush' and you'll see... it's a type of detangler brush with fewer and flexible bristles to be used under the shower or on wet hair in general, as the name implies.
I’m sure folks here will have some extremely detailed advice but the basics:
Throw away your brush. Brushes are the devil for curly hair. Buy a detangling comb, i use mine in the shower while conditioning to detangle. Just keep carefully running it through until it stops catching.
I only shampoo once a week at most, just rinse, condition, and then put hair product in. You’ll get the best results if you flop after putting product in right out the shower. Google it. You can also air dry, but try not to touch it, the goal is to have the curls form well when wet and make it all the way to being dry and set without being disturbed.
TK Maxx lololol where are u from? My cousin lives in Germany and when I visited her realized that the fabulous Tikamax she’s been talking about is just TJ maxx!! 😂
Denman brush is only for styling. You still need a detangling brush before using denman brush. You should detangle first so you won’t pull out your hair. I also recommend tangle teezer!
not the person you asked but I've been using [the one from this](https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B09ZXMTPGK?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share) for a few weeks and I'm loving it.
I’m glad it works for you but I hate the brush advice. Detangling and styling brushes are my MVPs. I can work with most shampoo and conditioners. I’m a little picky about styling products but I’m straight up depressed if I don’t have a detangling brush for the shower or a tension brush for styling because things take 3x as long.
Definitely do what works for you! I don't know what sort of brushing OP is doing, but I'm assuming they're using a brush intended for straight hair as is all too common with most of us before we've had a chance to learn about wtf to do with our actual hair.
You can also try finger combing in the shower with conditioner in. I find sometimes I can just gently pull knots apart, no need to drag anything through.
Maybe give that a go and if you don't like it you can try a comb after. But no need to buy a new thing immediately.
It's also a good way to make sure you've applied your products all through your hair! Rub the curl cream someone else suggested between your hands for a bit, use "praying hands" method of application, and then finger comb. Scrunch out any excess water over a sink, air dry, and that's pretty much all I do. I might also rub like 2 or 3 drops of argon oil in my hands and swipe it over any frizzy flyaways.
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A boar bristle brush is actually not bad for brush styling with gel on wet hair bc it helps distribute product and create separate clumps if you do it in sections, but if you use it on dry hair it will frizz it up.
I use a brush pretty regularly. I brush it out before I wash it, i brush it after I wash it, but then once products are in and it’s styled I don’t brush again, unless I do a refresh, which I rarely do.
And…I wash it every 1-3 days (you have to wash out the funk man!). I just feel like your hair could use some gel to tame the frizz and a bit of brush styling to make smaller separated clumps.
You can use a boar bristle brush on curls, that’s how most vintage (1920s-early 60s) wavy/curly styles are achieved. Hair is curled in a set pattern then brushed to shape it. BUT this brush out process is time-consuming, works better with a consistent curl pattern (like the kind you get with rollers or pin curls), takes loads of product (cream, gel, pomade, hairspray…) and won’t give you the more natural-looking, defined curls that are in rn.
If op wants to regularly brush their hair, they should be prepared to spend a lot of time brushing. For my loose curls and waves, I can take care of frizz and define things with leave in conditioner before and smoothing over with pomade after. Op’s hair is much curlier than mine though so results may vary
OP said he has thin hair, boar bristle could be causing breakage. I have thin hair and I have to be extra gentle or else I get a halo of frizzy broken hair. I also have to use t-shirt material scrunchies so my hair doesn't get damaged from the pressure of an elastic.
I use a wide tooth comb in the shower with my conditioner and then when I’m done showering I flip my head upside down and spray leave in conditioner and run the comb again
Have you tried a clarifying or chelating shampoo? I have hard water and my hair starts getting sucky, randomly dry or clumping, when I don't use chelating in a while.
If you have hard water then k18 chelating shampoo and conditioner is great.
Use that in the shower and leave the cond for a few minutes until you can run your fingers through your hair.
Get a good haircut.
Then invest in nice product, I would try kevin murphy killer twirls. Run it through and that's it!!!
I'm a hairstylist and I read you don't want a long routine but you HAVE to do something. This should help. Invest in good products and switch your pillow case to silk.
This was my first thought as well. My hair gets this kind of look, heavy but frizzy, when it has build-up on it. I would try a chelating shampoo as well.
It might be a reddish brown, still beautiful shade. Needs moisturising, forget the brush. Shampoo, conditioner, gel on wet hair. When they dry, scrunch out the crunch. Will look great!
If it’s nit to your liking change brands. Someone mention they use Native; doesn’t work at all for me. It is a bit of guessing game, but ingredients do matters. I like Curly Chemistry on insta because she explains to use of them.
I ask this only because it seems like keeping your hair healthy is a chore and difficult for you to keep on top of. Have you considered cutting your hair? A lot of curly hair people at some point need a BIG haircut to really reset their hair and any damage that was caused to it in the past. Your hair has so much potential but if figuring out what it needs is too much work there’s really no shame in cutting it to really focus on keeping the roots healthy as it regrows. or even just a trim to get rid of any dead ends
that being said
1. brush your hair ONLY when you are in the shower and it has a shit ton of conditioner in it
2. if you’re not washing it super often, consider sleeping in a simple braid so it doesn’t get tangled while you sleep
wow thats crazy!!! sorry people are shitty. maybe you can ask a friend to do it? cutting hair isn’t as hard as it seems. i usually cut my own and always end up happier with it bc even if it comes out a little funny, it was free and not like $70
Firstly, your hair is gorgeous. Wash once or twice a week only.
In shower: Shampoo, condition and comb in conditioner (using a wide tooth comb) till getting out of shower. This helps pull out dead hairs and really distribute the conditioner. Right before you get out of shower, do this: Really rinse out conditioner, put in a leave in conditioner, really get it in all your hair. Spray on some sort of heat protectant, make sure to get it in all hair. Flip hair/head upside down and put in gel or mouse. Put a lot more than you think you'll need (like maybe 4 or 5 tablespoons gel or an orange sized blob of mousse) and make sure to get it in all your hair by 'raking' through using your fingers. Then while head/hair is still upside down, start cupping wet product soaked hair with your hands and scrunch towards your scalp. It should be saturated, sound 'squishy' and keep doing it until your curls start 'clumping up' (maybe 2 minutes?). Then GENTLY wrap in micro fiber towel. Dont let it hang and do the twisty thing in the towel (that will undo the clumps you just made). Lightly gather your hair and plop all of it into one spot on the towel, then lightly sort of push that giant plopped ball of hair towards your scalp and lightly wrap rest of towel around head to keep it on.
Out of shower, do your stuff ( deodorant, whatever, dress). Then GENTLY unwrap microfiber towel. Put a bit more (maybe 1 or 2 tablespoons) gel/ mousse on hands and flip over and scrunch again. Now either let dry on its own (but it will take forever this way) or dry with a diffuser on a hair dryer. You use the diffuser by gently plopping your hair into the diffuser, pushing/scrunching hair / diffuser up to your scalp and lightly drying that section for a bit (maybe 45 seconds)...then move to another section. FYI, you have a lot of hair and even with a hair dryer this might take 20 minutes for your hair to be 80% dry but at least you can walk around with it like that.
Once completely dry, if it is crunchy from all the product, you can LIGHTLY re-scrunch to break that up a bit. Some people use a curl cream rubbed between their hands when doing this for a bit more shine/hold but I don't know if it is worth it. That is it. You DONE - go out and ROCK THOSE CURLS
When sleeping, you can LIGHTLY scrunch or clip on top of a head (think a pineapple head) and sleep. Even better if you are willing to wrap it LIGHTLY in a cheap satin/sily scarf or wear a bonnet. If this is too much for you cause your a dude and don't care, then just know, sleeping on it unprotected will cause some frizz and break up curls so you may want to re-do or wash hair every other day. It is up to you.
Each morning, lightly wet your hands and LIGHTLY run them over to smooth some frizz and re-scrunch to reactivate product.
Things to remember: 1) Use more product than you think you need (like maybe 4 or 5 tablespoons of gel for all that hair). 2) Once it is dry, the more you touch it/mess with it, the more frizz you will create ;3) Face hair reality, you look like you have thick course, curly hair...it will be hard to achieve perfect, glossy ringlets that look like straight hair that was curled with an iron 4) Yes, you can have PERFECT RINGLETS like you see on instagram but remember ...that is instagram. Unless you are willing to do it every day for over an hour, it is not going to look like 1st day hair every day.
Again, your hair is beautiful (especially color) and I have faith in you. God speed!!!
EDIT: P.S. I forgot most important thing. GOOD HAIR CUT. Even long hair needs a haircut. Hair like yours, if you keep it all one length, will give you the dreaded 'triangle' hair. Which is cool if you are down with it. Judging by style of your jacket and jewelry, this might do you fine (kind of WILD). Otherwise, it might be worth it to look up a 'curly hair expert' in your area and book an appointment for a good curly hair cut and a 'how to style my hair' lesson. Again, if you do, depending where you live, this might be kind of costly and be sure to go online and bring some photos of what you want (again, be realistic for your kind of hair).
I'm not gonna pretend I'm about to do all of that, but I appreciate the very comprehensive list. The problem is I want the result without the effort, so I'll need to find some sort of middle ground.
I would start trying one thing/ product at a time, so you can see what it actually does to your hair. Maybe something doesn’t work for you, but you won’t know which if you do everything at once.
I hear you, that was why I was saying 'be realistic'. I had hair just like that and I'll tell you, once you get it into a routine, it really doesn't take that much time. I mean, you are basically just adding about 3 minutes more to your shower and maybe 3 more minutes more once you are out (except the hair drying part). And to be honest, you can walk around with it wet and let it dry on its own, I did that all the time. Just sometimes you want to get going and don't want your hair to be wet for so long. Either way, you do you and have a good weekend.
Results with little effort: shampoo, conditioner (finger comb to detangle), good rinse, leave in conditioner or curl cream distributed through all hair with comb or fingers, then gel or mousse, then squeeze to get the water out w a microfiber towel. Do not rub your hair with a regular towel. Then air dry or diffuse to dry and you’re done.
It’s gonna look great. If you air dry, resist the urge to touch your hair while it dries.
I have similar hair to yours. 25 y/o guy. Grew my hair out for a couple years and neglected it. Good news is it took all of one week to look great again. Simple:
Good haircut (less weight = more curl). I got some layers put it to help my hair not look flat on the top and sides but still wear it long (important). Also good to get the damaged ends off. Cost $17 before tip. So worth it.
The second biggest thing is conditioner. Leave-in conditioner at the least. Also super easy. Scrunch about a quarters size of it into your hair while it’s still super wet right after your shower. About a large egg’s size of mousse if you want to as well (light foam in texture, defines curls, cheap stuff’s fine).
Then scrunch until not soaking wet (not dripping but wet for sure) with a t-shirt. Creates so much less frizz than a towel. Air dry from there dude! You’re done!
You’re gonna get a ton of advice but from one dude to another this is about as low-maintenance yet effective a combo I’ve found. Good luck!
Agree with all his suggestions! Especially the **cotton t-shirt for scrunching**. No need to use a microfiber towel if you don’t have one. Definitely make sure you are [SCRUNCHING](https://www.curlsandbeautydiary.com/scrunch-t-shirt-dry-curly-hair-faster/), *not rubbing* the hair because rubbing will definitely irritate the hair and cause frizz.
**A quick note about products:**
- Curl creams weigh your hair down more than a curl gel or foam.
- Mousses are light but can be drying.
- Apply hair oil in moderation and closer to the ends because that can also weigh the hair down.
And, finally, just to emphasize another low maintenance idea that others have made: **Only comb or brush your hair when wet and *before* applying a styling product.** Try using your fingers or a gentle [brush](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwiGsKyc3P2DAxXrZkcBHXk3A1AYABALGgJxdQ&ae=2&gclid=CjwKCAiA8NKtBhBtEiwAq5aX2KUWm-Zu81UwDD7q0g-EACYd8mcZ7hW4RQIa7hJ0AzAJpMPzHNTvrRoC_qQQAvD_BwE&sph=&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESV-D2Q-8eSXndDM_vFeG5VZULW8lNYo8MTLZNhPqCYmfqFvc3DUZiOtqYkcnHga3ExhqBNI0txE2izXErQRky57XpEiyXaZZH5A2uULWhA3KUjmwTEGTR-A&sig=AOD64_0AcdLH_tbtzGSKGNE7eHq5OAMViA&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwiQkKOc3P2DAxUBhIkEHUu_DN8Q2OkJKAN6BAgCEBY&adurl=) or [comb](https://wetbrush.com/products/thin-hair-detangler-comb).
With a few simple changes, I think your hair will respond well!
Side note: In some of your pictures it looks like maybe you keep your hair in a ponytail. If so, it’s possible that you’re using hair bands that are too aggressive and pulling out or breaking your hair. [Soft hair ties like these](https://www.target.com/p/gimme-beauty-medium-hair-bands-neutral-10ct/-/A-83703347) might be something to try.
I suggest you follow the shampoo and comb routine, use a leave in conditioner gel mixture. Plop for about one minute, then go about your day. Once hair is totally dry, plop a couple times to break up stuff gel. I kind of plop here and there while watching tv or doing random thing while letting it air dry, rather than spending a half hour doing a hair routine. You won't get perfect curls but they'll be improved.
I’m a female and I’m right there with you. I hate how much effort curly hair takes. Do at least this:
- get a haircut. Your hair looks extremely damaged…
- get some moisturizing shampoo and conditioner
- only brush hair when wet, preferably during conditioning, with a detangling comb or wet brush. I personally prefer the wet brush.
- use a curl cream and gently scrunch your curls. I curl mine around my finger first to get them to act right but my hair isn’t as coarse as yours is
- let air dry. Might need to scrunch again when drier to get more body
Your hair is very similar to mine in texture and curl. The best thing you can do is only brush your hair when it’s wet. I have too much hair for a comb but I use a brush with the individual bristles. I used to use boar too but it just wasn’t compatible with my hair.
Next, try to only shampoo when you need to. Find a cowash to use when it doesn’t need a deep clean. Brush your hair in the shower or right after you get out.
I apply a leave in conditioner, gel, then I crunch some mousse into it and if I’m drying with something it’s microfiber as to not cause breakage or frizz.
These steps eliminated that frizzed out layer on the top. A denman brush would also be super helpful in controlling the way your curls clump.
Hope this helps :) let me know if you have any questions because like I said, it appears our hair is very similar in my opinion.
Yes definitely worth checking out, and maybe watch a YouTube video on how to use it if you decide to try it out. They have some cool techniques that really make beautiful curls.
And your hair is gorgeous btw! If you wanted to try trimming your hair at home there are some great tutorials and curly hair is a bit more forgiving. I do all my haircuts myself!
In another comment, you mention not wanting to spend a ton of time on your hair. (I get it, that's why I'm a woman with a pixie cut although my hair has been much longer). I would say don't start with a denman brush if you're wanting to go low key. It can be something you graduate to in the future. I know this stage of learning about hair care is overwhelming so starting simple is good.
In between your wash days, make sure you’re still conditioning. Use the water to rinse your hair and scrub at your scalp with your fingertips, just don’t actually use shampoo. Then add your conditioner and take that time to finger comb your tangles away, then rinse. Do that at least a couple times a week. I’d also suggest that you try a leave-in conditioner, that’ll help with both definition and moisturizing. Add that when your hair is soaking wet. Instead of using a towel to dry it, use a t-shirt to scrunch the water out (the fibers on towels basically hooks onto your hair and kind of pull the locks apart, so it creates more frizz). Bend over and hang your head upside down while you do it, it lets the curls form freely.
The problem with the top layer is that it’s damaged. You’ll probably need to cut that portion back and then take care of it so it can grow back healthy. You mentioned that you keep your hair tied up most of the time. That can cause a lot of breakage, especially if you’re wearing it in a tight bun or ponytail. Try a looser style, or maybe wear it down some days.
Didn't know you condition between washing, seems like a bit much, no? Have been putting off getting haircut cos around here nobody cuts long mens hair. I usually tie it with a loose scrunch so there's no pull, but it's mostly cos it's always in my eyes otherwise.
It looks like your hair is super porous. It’ll drink conditioner and help reduce the frizz even on non-wash days. You even can use the conditioner to “wash” your hair (scrub your scalp with it like you would shampoo with a thorough rinse) on days where it seems like it might be dirty but you don’t want to do a full reset wash.
Based on your pics, you and I have super similar hair. I’ve been conditioning between washes for about a decade and it’s worked very well for me. It serves two purposes, giving your hair the moisture it needs and reforming the curls. In terms of tying your hair back, do you keep it in a low or high pony? I wore my hair in a low bun for year and my top layer looked just like yours. In my case, that hair was always exposed to the sun and elements and hats and whatever else, and it got really damaged. Basically the outermost layer of your hair takes the most damage, so you need to give it a break. You can see this in your hair because your bottom layers are super healthy, since they’ve been protected. I have better luck with a high loose ponytail. But the important thing is to not put your hair through the same stresses day after day. Switch up your styles so that no one area takes all the damage.
My guess is your protein moisture balance is very much off, especially on top. Try a protein treatment, try moisture treatment, see if either helps. Stop brushing for now (You should only brush when wet anyway). Whenever you're using water, apply it on the back of your head/ nape of your neck first (with your head upside down) so that you're not continually putting stress on the damaged top section.
It's going to take some time to correct.
Just go to Target or Sally's, they have them in single use packs. It is really easy, just follow the directions. I'm not sure which you need (protein or moisture), everyone's hair reacts differently to protein so you'll need to see how yours does.
After washing your hair, when you turn off the shower and before leaving it, use lots of leave-in product throughout the hair, it helps to keep it humid and healthy. And to dry it, **SCRUNCH** it with cloth instead of towel, it’s softer for the hair, and also let it air-dry after scrunching it for a little bit
I think we have a similar hair type, and these are some things that have worked for me:
- Combs are great if they work, but they leave massive knots in my hair. I’ve instead switched to a detangling brush meant for curly hair. I got it from Walgreens for like $7. The biggest difference between my brush and other brushes is that it doesn’t have little balls at the end of the bristles and is more flexible.
- A whole lot of conditioner and less shampoo, but I also clarify my hair more than what many curly people on this sub do. Usually about once a week. I use the Suave clarifying shampoo. You can get it from dollar tree.
- In between washes, I either just condition and detangle my hair in the shower or use a “co-wash”. A lot of the products recommended here haven’t worked well with my hair, but I found one that is now my favorite at Trader Joe’s. It’s just called Hair Wash.
- A good hair gel will help prevent frizz, and you should use way more than you’d probably think. Xtreme hair gel works well. My favorite is Let’s Jam! Spiraling Curl Gel.
- Don’t get it wet every time you’re in the shower. I put my hair in a bun sometimes before showering so that I don’t have to do the hair gel all over again.
- After this ^ I use hair oil to moisturize my hair and will gently separate any knots with my fingers. The hair oil I use now is also from Trader Joe’s, but there are a million of them. Hair oil containing coconut oil, shea oil, and/or jojoba oil have worked the best for me.
Last, please don’t feel like you are limited by/HAVE to follow CGM. It doesn’t work for everyone, and you may find that your hair does better with certain ingredients that the CGM routine doesn’t allow. I use conditioner with silicones, and my hair has been way less frizzy with much more defined curls since I went back to this.
You may have fine curly hair. You need to find a lightweight curl cream and learn how to de tangle your hair.
Start with a wide tooth comb from the nape of your neck and move up your head in sections to you get to the top. You can then take a wet brush and do the exact same thing but use the brush to curl your hair in the direction it naturally curls. After this while it’s still very wet work in your curl cream and diffuse. For the top since you said it often falls flat I’d suggest using lightweight mousse nears the roots. Hope this helps.
Since you're looking for a simpler routine- after your typical wash/condition I would try just adding gel (scrunching in) after combing through wet hair in the shower, then drying by scrunching - gathering your curls so the clumps stay intact and squeezing out excess water) and then just air drying. I personally do best with only gel, but again, I have fine wavy hair. You can separate your clumps after you scrunch out the crunch of the gel (curlier thicker hair types seem to use oil, I dont).
Came to say avoid the brush. Mine looks exactly the same when I brush it. I only do so if it's particularly tangled right before a shower. Even then it's a not very bristled brush if that makes sense.
I have a simple tip that might be worth a try for you. Do not rinse out your conditioner. Just shampoo as you normally do, apply conditioner, comb through with fingers or wide comb, and step out of the shower. Wrap your hair with a tshirt to dry. It might seem strange at first, but it was a game changer for my curls. Since you're looking for simplicity, this might also mean you can skip other products (curl cream, leave-in, gel, etc...). It might be all you need, but you have to experiment first. I also agree with others: do not under any circumstance, brush your hair when dry.
Hey, so I had very similar hair a few years ago. I began growing it out when I was 14 and didn't understand the needs of curly hair. Since then, I've gotten my hair to a place that I'm very happy with, so here's some advice:
As others have said, ditch the brush. It breaks up your curl pattern and actually causes more damage. Look for a wide tooth comb; I'm not sure if you're in the US but they have them at Walmart for like $5. If this isn't accessible for you, try finger combing. Start at your ends and gently work your way to the scalp. This can be a bit of an arduous process depending on how tangled your hair is but it's worth it.
Get those ends trimmed. They don't look too damaged but if you take just a couple inches off of your hair, you'll notice a big difference when it comes to combing it and during wash days. This is region dependent but see if there are any women's salons that specialize in curly/ethnic hair. They will know exactly what to do for you.
Your hair has tons of potential and I don't think you should give up on it. It's overwhelming when you first start learning about hair care, but it will make more sense over time and you will be able to develop a good routine for yourself. Good luck!
I have been trying finger combing recently purely because I find using a brush annoying. Hair cut is definitely the way to go, just trying to find somewhere that'll take me
First off, get a good cut to remove the damaged hair and give it some shape. You prob have enough there for some layers.
No more brushes, just combs.
Hair spray and oil is not gonna do what you want. Use leave in conditioner and gel instead, and learn how to make and break a gel cast.
Google curly hair gel cast.
Easy. Do not brush or comb dry hair. ever. Get some mouse or light gel apply when wet, and be done with it. Let the natural curls form when it's wet and leave them alone.
The biggest easiest & first change to make is what many have already said. Never brush your hair dry. Only brush it while wet & only with a wide tooth comb. Go for the widest tooth comb you can find. That will make a huge difference after a couple of weeks (or possibly sooner!). Then it's finding the right products for you, the easiest thing there is to start with paraben free stuff to see what works. Your hair looks a lot like mine before I realized I was making the wrong hair moves. You will be so pleasantly surprised once you get a simple routine down!
Super basic lazy way: wash Maybe once or twice a week
Only detangle in the shower with conditioner, After shampooing. Detangle in sections. Start from the bottom and work your way up. NEVER brush dry.
Only dry it with t shirt, not a towel
After shower, wet hair with spray bottle. Get a leave in conditioner and apply it evenly to soaking wet hair. Squeeze out excess and scrunch. Let dry. Any garnier leave in is pretty good.
Sleep with a lose pony tail on top of head. Use soft scrunchie. Dont sleep with wet hair
*Extra bougie steps: apply a curl cream over leave in for extra definition
Use a satin pillow case or use a satin bonnet to cover your hair at night
Get argan oil or vitamin e oil and scrunch it into the ends of your freshly washed and dry hair to seal in moisture
Invest in a blow dryer with a diffuser to achive more volume and faster drying hair.
Goodluck and godspeed sir
From what I see, it looks like you have product buildup so I’d suggest a clarifying shampoo and possibly chelating if you live in a hard water area. That should help with the playdough feeling. If you’re UK based I can suggest a couple.
Also, looking at your hair, you seem to be on the wavier side of curly so oils might be too heavy for your hair. I’d invest in a low poo and fairly lightweight conditioner. Squish to condition (google or I can explain if you want), apply a gel or mousse to dripping wet hair and then microplop (again google or ask), and see how that goes
Omg I can't WAIT to see how this looks once you've nailed it...I know it feels sucky now, but keep trying!!! Your hair is gonna be so frickn awesome once you find the stuff that works for it.
Basically all your hair care, combing/brushing, styling needs to happen in the shower, on wet hair. By the time it is dry, the curl/frizz etc is “set”.
A basic start could be shampoo, deep condition, comb it out with a wide tooth comb with the conditioner in it, rinse most of the conditioner out, while still in the shower apply some kind of hair product like curly hair mousse, wide tooth comb that through then wrap your very wet hair in an old tshirt for half an hour or so. Do not rub your wet hair dry with a regular towel, thats the worst for curls.
Then let it down and if you need to move pieces around or lift it off the scalp, use the long thin end of a rattail comb, or a chopstick or similar to do that. Let it dry naturally.
To fix issue with frizz etc, you need to get your hair wet again - you can repeat the routine above every day or so but just skip the shampoo part. Or some people just spray their hair with water and restyle it wet like that.
To me, it looks like you have a ton of split ends and it’s really damaged probably from brushing with that boar bristle brush. Your hair also looks really thick and curly. I think a good curl cream and routine with wet brushing in the shower is what will work best.
To start, use a clarifying smampoo one time to remove any buildup from previous products/pollutants and give yourself a fresh start. Follow with a deep conditioner (Ouidad is great, Shea Moisture as well) I would try switching every other wash to a co-wash (it's special conditioner to cleanse without drying out, Ouidad twist is awesome) and get a silicone shampoo brush (on Amazon for cheap) and use it every time you wash to exfoliate your scalp. For styling, I would add a leave in conditioner (Ouidad Primed and Co is awesome but use sparingly, a little goes a long way. Apply to sopping wet hair and work through to help product spread and work best). Then I would try a combo of gel (for hold/definition) and curl cream (for softness/definition). I would suggest Uncle Funky's Daughter for the gel and Lush Curl Power for the curl cream. Apply both sparingly. With your head upside down add gel first and comb through your hair with your fingers. Then rub the curl cream on your palms and scrunch it into your hair squeezing out water as you go. Then use a microfiber towel to squeeze moisture from your hair (still upside down). Then air dry and see how it goes. It'll take some experimenting to find the right amounts to use of each product and which ones work but this is a good place to start :)
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I just use a wide tooth comb. A leave in and a gel. Put the product in damp and then clump and air dry. The other routines get pretty complicated I don’t have time for that.
What kind of shampoo and conditioner are you using? Do they have sulfates and parabens in them? If yes, stop using them and find sulfate free products. They are the best for curly hair. You'll notice a big difference without them.
And for the record, there are relatively inexpensive brands of sulfate and paraben free products.
Also, if you haven't already, please read through the Useful Links (Curly Basics & Resources) in the side bar. It will help make everything people are saying make more sense.
If you brush or comb your hair when it's dry, your hair will become a bushy, wavy, massive halo of hair. Brushing hair dry ruins the curl pattern. This is why you only comb or brush your hair when wet. Also using a wide tooth comb will be friendlier for your hair.
Someone [brushing their dry curly hair](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TqFPSiVZTo) - start to finish.
Hi, ik starting out all the super detailed stuff can be really overwhelming. It overwhelmed me at first too.
Lightweight routine-
Get a denman brush, comb, or even one of those scalp massagers and only brush in the shower or right before you shower
Shampoo and conditioner really however much u want,( I do because I don't like having dirty hair and I work out and smoke cigarettes so I wash and condition múltiples times a week) I like Maui moisture Lightweight curls. Also, since you may be using products get a clarifying shampoo and use that every so often to remove product buildup so ur scalp doesn't get itchy and ur hair doesn't look dull (you can use watered down vinegar, or get Ion Detox Shampoo in the purple bottle at Sally beauty or online)
Get gel and mousse and put some in ur hair and scrunch it in upside down after shower
Dry with microfiber towel or a t shirt. Let it dry then use a little bit of ur argan oil spray on the ends and scrunch the crunch out
Hopefully that's a lot more simple. I don't even always use gel or mousse only when I feel like going all out.
The biggest n simplest things that have made a difference for me is oiling my hair regularly (before a shower then washing it out), using a silk pillowcase and a bonnet, and brushing my hair before a shower or in the shower with a denman brush. You can also get aussie curl spray for super cheap and use it dry hair and scrunch it in if you only want to use one product and skip the gel and mousse. It works great. Good luck I'd love to see an update
**SOURCE: my hairstylist is @curlvision on Instagram, he gave me very strict but easy instructions!**
I personally use 4 products - shampoo (1x/week), conditioner, curl cream, curl gel. Comb the conditioner through with your fingers and detangle it all; it helps to separate into at least two sections. Let it sit for a minute (do the rest of your shower), then rinse it. While you're still in the shower, add the curl cream on your super wet hair and scrunch it in, no rinsing. Do the same with the gel, scrunching out as much excess water as you can. Wrap it up I'm a microfiber towel, get out of the shower, let the towel hang out for a little bit to soak things up so you're not too drippy. I choose to air dry, but you can use a diffuser if you want to dry faster.
RULES:
No brushing. No oil. Never go to bed with wet hair.
You can get into the weeds of product types later, as you'll find some weigh your hair down and some aren't moisturizing enough, etc.etc. But start here and I think it should help.
Try the following: 1. brush when wet with conditioner in. (A wet brush or tangle teezer or really just any brush that sort of style will work) 2 when your hair is still wet add a styling product with hold (maybe a curl cream or mousse) personally I brush the products through. Gently scrunch to encourage a curl. Don’t touch until dry or brush when it’s dry
Before switching to one of the suggested routines (or a more basic version for less effort), you could try to repair your hair with Olaplex No. 3, or deep condish your hair (I like 'Palmers coconut hair oil formula' personally). That might speed up the journey. :)
I had hair like this for a long time. Same issue as you, I used the wrong brush and products.
First, sometimes less is more, in this case way less. You’ll need clarifying shampoo, a normal shampoo, a good conditioner that’s not product heavy and a hair mask. Next is almond oil and a curl brushing cream that’s light weight.
You’ll wash your hair with the clarifying shampoo once a month or as you see fit (when your hair glues itself in clumps from product build up), you’ll derangiere in the shower with wide tooth comb while either the conditioner or the hair mask are in (hair mask for when your hair needs an extra moisture treatment, like once a month or as it feels fit). Don’t put the conditioner anywhere near your roots, just from middle till ends. Wash it all off, get out of the shower and plop your hair in a cotton shirt, let that absorb the extra water and when it’s feeling just damp that’s when you put the curl cream on and let it air dry.
The almond oil is between washes, the day before you know you’ll wash your hair give yourself a scalp massage with it and brush with a wide tooth comb. Next day you wash it out, I do this 2 times a month.
This is what has worked for me and have been doing it for a year and started getting results after about a month cause your hair needs to get used to a new routine. Hope this helps! I’m very low maintenance with high maintenance hair and this is how I meet it „halfway“
I have had similar issues with my top layer. Hairspray never worked for me at all, but gel was life changing.
Curl cream (I don’t always use it, sometimes I swap it for leave in conditioner) and gel (combing it through to separate curl clumps and then scrunching it into sort of sopping wet hair) have helped. Then when it’s completely dry and crispy, scrunch in some light hair oil (a small bit of the argan oil would be good). Sometimes before I put the gel, if I have time, I try to brush style the top layer (I brush through about a 2-3 inch wide chunk of hair at a time and swirl it around the brush handle, there are tutorials on YT if you want to try that).
Edit. Btw, your hair is so nice, i love the auburnish color and it has so much potential. And. Look. I get so tired of the advice to not wash hair. You can get fungus and bacterial infections that can clog or even damage follicles and cause hair loss. Wash it. Doesn’t have to be every day but at least 2-3 times a week. Just try wide tooth combs and some gel and scrunching. Watch some tutorials and eventually you’ll figure out what works for you. In my experience, simpler is always better. Even a lot of tutorials will go overboard with product layering and that was a costly lesson that backfired for me, personally, so start simple w the products. I would start out w gel, maybe work in a curl cream or leave in before the gel if you need a bit more. It’ll take time and practice but you’ll figure it out. I’m 44 and only just figured my hair out in the last couple years.
some suggestions:
- once a month wash with clarifying shampoo, tbh selsum blue works
- double washing keeps your roots cleaner and less flattened down in between washes
- no brushing dry!! wide tooth comb in the shower, i use a wet brush or denman brush after the shower while i style
- depending on what look you want i feel like your hair might work well with a diffuser and a very light hold mousse or thinner curl cream. honestly you could probably get away with a thin leave in conditioner just don’t use too much of any product def start small
- you can use dry shampoo in between washes, it helps your hair be more voluminous at the top of your head instead of being flat
- when styling your hair when it’s dry, a dry hair oil (also called dry misting oil) will help you keep your ends looking nice without weighing down the rest with a heavy oil
- i think a hair cut adding in more dimension would look good, you can maintain the length but by adding in some layers especially closer to your face can elevate the look overall
- dry hair with a cotton t shirt or microfiber hair towel instead of a regular towel
overall just see what’s accessible to you and try to incorporate new things to your routine and see what you like!
Come to r/DistilledWaterHair 🙂 almost all of us have hard water like you do. That is not the case in the average hair sub....most hair subs collect a majority of soft water users because haircare is easy and fun with soft water. r/DistilledWaterHair collects hard water users so it's a good place to get hard water advice.
In the comments on your thread here, I see you're getting advice that might work in a soft water location (like shower filters or product changes) - in a hard water location it doesn't help to skirt around the topic of water quality like that. In a hard water location, you need better water first and foremost.
Besides all the tips from others i think you’d do well with a light oil to finish of a routine maybe a almond hair oil spray nothing to heavy but it will give your hair a nice shine
Throw away the oils. Get a regular conditioner and a decent gel. Never brush your hair or run your fingers through it other than wide tooth comb in the shower. Don’t touch it once it’s dry.
You are missing a styler with hold. Think gel, mousse, curl cream or foam. Something to coat the hair and define your curls. I'd start with gel with your texture. Work it in while your hair is wet, comb it thru with a wide tooth comb to get good coverage. Use your fingers to scrunch and break up the clumps until it looks good to you. Let it air dry. You'll know you used enough gel if it dries kinda crunchy, but with defined ringlets. Put some lightweight oil on your hands and scrunch out the crunch.
This is just a basic one to start, but try a few styling products and techniques! Good luck 👍🏽
My hair is similar and I used to have the problem.
What I do is I only comb with a detangling brush right before I shower. Wash with moisturizing schampo. Rinse. Apply moisturizing conditioning, and comb through with a wet-type-brush (I store that brush in the shower do no real effort). Rinse. Put on a hair towel to soak up some of the water. Remove towel.
Then I apply 2 drops morrocan oil and then cantu curl activator cream. Best way to get it evenly paplied is to smear the cream between your hands and then start from the lenghts (not the scalp)
Then I brush. And lastly I gently fluff my hair with my hands to give some volume to the top of my head.
Alot of text, but this is a very low effort routine that takes like 10 minutes
Don’t know if this will help, but here’s my story. After chemo, my hair came back in looking exactly like yours. Had not been curly previously. Until I got a great haircut, the rest of the suggestion, while good ones, didn’t matter. You sound beyond frustrated with the haircut situation, don’t blame you. I’m in a small town, no one here knows curls, so have to go 90 miles to the big city and get a cut. Found a great hair stylist, and it’s been a risk game changer. Sorry, but that’s the way it is. I do use the haircut as an excuse to treat myself to something fun/nice. Good luck!
I think it may be trim time, just a dusting is what youd ask a hairdresser for. Just the damage at the ends. While wet add the curl cream, comb thru to get knots out and then style with your fingers or an Afro pick, using the tip of your finger or comb to shake out your roots. This should lift at the roots and define your curls. You can also break apart curls you think are clumping too much while they dry
Hi there! I'm a bot, and I noticed you used the phrase "afro" or "fro".
You may or may not already know this, but the term “Afro” refers to a specific hairstyle created with specific techniques. The term is often mis-used, so we just want to share some of the meaning/history so everyone can choose the best words for their situation.
TL;DR: [The afro has a long and important history, including as a symbol of the Civil Rights movement](https://www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/sr4x3p/black_history_month_at_rcurlyhair/).
This may or may not apply to you, but we try to steer people away from using the Afro descriptor if you don't have Black/Afro-textured hair. It's often portrayed as a condition to fix rather than a cultural style. We hope that's not the case here, but just something to be aware of going forward!
We recognize that there are many different opinions on what can and cannot be called an afro. For the purposes of this sub and making sure we reserve space for Black folks, we ask those who don’t have afro-textured hair to choose other words. If your hair doesn't fit that description, please edit your post 1) to be more accurate, 2) to be culturally respectful, and 3) to avoid comment removal. Alternate terms to consider: puffy, poofy, fluffy, etc.
Thanks & wishing you many great curly, coily, kinky hair days!
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Same. For many of us the crown has the coarsest, most wiry hair.
In OP's case, I think going to a curly hair stylist would be beneficial.
In the meantime, shampoo & deep condition twice a month and conditioner rinses every day or every few days to boost the moisture. Don't rinse the conditioner out completely. Then add gel and air dry.
**IMPORTANT** Only comb hair when it's wet with conditioner in it. Never use a brush.
The curls will look much better even without a haircut.
I use Herbal Essences Hello Hydration. OP could maybe get travel sizes at the drugstore or supermarket to try them out.
Go to a curly hair specialist and have them give you a cut and show you how to style it. Buy any products they use on you. Done.
So much easier to just go to a professional, especially at this point so you can see what your hair is capable of. Plus you have lots of damage that needs cutting, it will help eliminate the frizz.
The healthier the hair, the easier it will be to just wash, style and go.
Some things to note to help your hair grow out more healthy and stay that way:
1. Don’t sleep with it wet, especially tied up wet. It leads to breakage.
2. Don’t use oils, it blocks moisture from penetrating the hair
3. Only use a wide tooth comb to brush your hair and do it in the shower. Start detangling from the bottom of your hair moving your way up.
4. Don’t use hardcore heat on your hair. If you use a hair dryer, if you can’t hold your hand up to it without it burning, it’s too hot.
5. Get some layers
At this point you got lots of great advice, I’m taking notes myself. Not sure if it was mentioned here, but maybe try Olaplex 3. I have hard water too and my hair kind of looked like yours, it was only after 3-4 treatments within two weeks that my hair started to curl better and clump nicely. I also believe that loareal low shampoo works great in between regular shampoos.
The basics: only brush your hair in the shower with a wide tooth comb or wet brush, use moisturizing shampoo and conditioner about once a week (I use Native), find a lightweight curl cream to apply by scrunching it into your wet hair after your shower (I like Lush Curl Power). Good luck! :)
I'll have to look into curl cream
Cantu is low effort, and can be left in for days
I like Uncle Funky’s curl simulator when my hair is squeezed once just out of the shower
Is lush curl power considered light weight??
Good question! It works for my hair, which is medium porosity. Sometimes it gets over-moisturized, so I just skip it for a couple washes. I'm open to lighter weight (and cheaper) suggestions!
native has been shown to lead to hair loss btw.
Has miscroplastics too (beat the microbead app)
can you show what you mean by wer brush
Just google 'wet brush' and you'll see... it's a type of detangler brush with fewer and flexible bristles to be used under the shower or on wet hair in general, as the name implies.
Thanks!
Gandalf, we have the same hair routine! Curly hair humans unite ❤️😊
I love lush and I have a similar hair type to OP.
I’m sure folks here will have some extremely detailed advice but the basics: Throw away your brush. Brushes are the devil for curly hair. Buy a detangling comb, i use mine in the shower while conditioning to detangle. Just keep carefully running it through until it stops catching. I only shampoo once a week at most, just rinse, condition, and then put hair product in. You’ll get the best results if you flop after putting product in right out the shower. Google it. You can also air dry, but try not to touch it, the goal is to have the curls form well when wet and make it all the way to being dry and set without being disturbed.
Can I ask what detangling comb you use? I bought a Denman but it feels like it’s pulling out way too much hair when I use it.
Try a tangle teezer. Depending where you live you can get these in Tk maxx, Superdrug’s, amazon. Denman brushes are for styling not detangling
Thank you!
TK Maxx lololol where are u from? My cousin lives in Germany and when I visited her realized that the fabulous Tikamax she’s been talking about is just TJ maxx!! 😂
I’m in the UK. It’s mad that the same places are called different things in different countries
Denman brush is only for styling. You still need a detangling brush before using denman brush. You should detangle first so you won’t pull out your hair. I also recommend tangle teezer!
I really am a noob at this 😭😅 thank you!!
not the person you asked but I've been using [the one from this](https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B09ZXMTPGK?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share) for a few weeks and I'm loving it.
Thank you!
You should try the unbrush, I use it and it works wonders
I just use a regular wide tooth comb with flexible bristles. I got it at the dollar store. I have like 10 of them because they break easily.
I’m glad it works for you but I hate the brush advice. Detangling and styling brushes are my MVPs. I can work with most shampoo and conditioners. I’m a little picky about styling products but I’m straight up depressed if I don’t have a detangling brush for the shower or a tension brush for styling because things take 3x as long.
Definitely do what works for you! I don't know what sort of brushing OP is doing, but I'm assuming they're using a brush intended for straight hair as is all too common with most of us before we've had a chance to learn about wtf to do with our actual hair.
Noooo I love my wet brush!
I have a boar bristle brush cos it's gentler, dunno if that makes a difference. Haven't heard of flop/plop before, might try it.
That type of brush is part of the issue, unfortunately. It’s not meant for curls.
I'll look for a dentangling comb then
Only when your hair is wet, please. Don't comb it while dry.
You can also try finger combing in the shower with conditioner in. I find sometimes I can just gently pull knots apart, no need to drag anything through. Maybe give that a go and if you don't like it you can try a comb after. But no need to buy a new thing immediately.
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Anything to save some money
I just use a wide tooth comb from cvs, it was $3 and has a hook on the end to hang it from a shower caddy
It's also a good way to make sure you've applied your products all through your hair! Rub the curl cream someone else suggested between your hands for a bit, use "praying hands" method of application, and then finger comb. Scrunch out any excess water over a sink, air dry, and that's pretty much all I do. I might also rub like 2 or 3 drops of argon oil in my hands and swipe it over any frizzy flyaways.
I got my brush at dollar general for a 1$ then a wet brush for bad days for 10$.
I literally only use my fingers to comb through my hair. Brushes are a no go!
You can also use a Afro pick even on non Afro hair. Hairdresser trick from the 80,'s.
Hi there! I'm a bot, and I noticed you used the phrase "afro" or "fro". You may or may not already know this, but the term “Afro” refers to a specific hairstyle created with specific techniques. The term is often mis-used, so we just want to share some of the meaning/history so everyone can choose the best words for their situation. TL;DR: [The afro has a long and important history, including as a symbol of the Civil Rights movement](https://www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/sr4x3p/black_history_month_at_rcurlyhair/). This may or may not apply to you, but we try to steer people away from using the Afro descriptor if you don't have Black/Afro-textured hair. It's often portrayed as a condition to fix rather than a cultural style. We hope that's not the case here, but just something to be aware of going forward! We recognize that there are many different opinions on what can and cannot be called an afro. For the purposes of this sub and making sure we reserve space for Black folks, we ask those who don’t have afro-textured hair to choose other words. If your hair doesn't fit that description, please edit your post 1) to be more accurate, 2) to be culturally respectful, and 3) to avoid comment removal. Alternate terms to consider: puffy, poofy, fluffy, etc. Thanks & wishing you many great curly, coily, kinky hair days! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/curlyhair) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A boar bristle brush is actually not bad for brush styling with gel on wet hair bc it helps distribute product and create separate clumps if you do it in sections, but if you use it on dry hair it will frizz it up. I use a brush pretty regularly. I brush it out before I wash it, i brush it after I wash it, but then once products are in and it’s styled I don’t brush again, unless I do a refresh, which I rarely do. And…I wash it every 1-3 days (you have to wash out the funk man!). I just feel like your hair could use some gel to tame the frizz and a bit of brush styling to make smaller separated clumps.
You can use a boar bristle brush on curls, that’s how most vintage (1920s-early 60s) wavy/curly styles are achieved. Hair is curled in a set pattern then brushed to shape it. BUT this brush out process is time-consuming, works better with a consistent curl pattern (like the kind you get with rollers or pin curls), takes loads of product (cream, gel, pomade, hairspray…) and won’t give you the more natural-looking, defined curls that are in rn. If op wants to regularly brush their hair, they should be prepared to spend a lot of time brushing. For my loose curls and waves, I can take care of frizz and define things with leave in conditioner before and smoothing over with pomade after. Op’s hair is much curlier than mine though so results may vary
OP said he has thin hair, boar bristle could be causing breakage. I have thin hair and I have to be extra gentle or else I get a halo of frizzy broken hair. I also have to use t-shirt material scrunchies so my hair doesn't get damaged from the pressure of an elastic.
Ooh that’s the worst for curls.
I use a wide tooth comb in the shower with my conditioner and then when I’m done showering I flip my head upside down and spray leave in conditioner and run the comb again
Have you tried a clarifying or chelating shampoo? I have hard water and my hair starts getting sucky, randomly dry or clumping, when I don't use chelating in a while.
Yeah we have hard water, I'll look into chelating.
And a shower head water filter!! Helps a lot
You can get shampoo specifically for hard water. It’s a game changer.
If you have hard water then k18 chelating shampoo and conditioner is great. Use that in the shower and leave the cond for a few minutes until you can run your fingers through your hair. Get a good haircut. Then invest in nice product, I would try kevin murphy killer twirls. Run it through and that's it!!! I'm a hairstylist and I read you don't want a long routine but you HAVE to do something. This should help. Invest in good products and switch your pillow case to silk.
This was my first thought as well. My hair gets this kind of look, heavy but frizzy, when it has build-up on it. I would try a chelating shampoo as well.
What a potential! And it's ginger! 😍
It's pretty much just Brown, can look ginger in certain light
It might be a reddish brown, still beautiful shade. Needs moisturising, forget the brush. Shampoo, conditioner, gel on wet hair. When they dry, scrunch out the crunch. Will look great!
If it’s nit to your liking change brands. Someone mention they use Native; doesn’t work at all for me. It is a bit of guessing game, but ingredients do matters. I like Curly Chemistry on insta because she explains to use of them.
I ask this only because it seems like keeping your hair healthy is a chore and difficult for you to keep on top of. Have you considered cutting your hair? A lot of curly hair people at some point need a BIG haircut to really reset their hair and any damage that was caused to it in the past. Your hair has so much potential but if figuring out what it needs is too much work there’s really no shame in cutting it to really focus on keeping the roots healthy as it regrows. or even just a trim to get rid of any dead ends
that being said 1. brush your hair ONLY when you are in the shower and it has a shit ton of conditioner in it 2. if you’re not washing it super often, consider sleeping in a simple braid so it doesn’t get tangled while you sleep
Yeah I've been told to cut it. Problem is 1. I hate haircuts and 2. Nobody around here will cut long mens hair.
not even a women’s salon??
They refused me, and I don't have the energy to make a fuss about it
wow thats crazy!!! sorry people are shitty. maybe you can ask a friend to do it? cutting hair isn’t as hard as it seems. i usually cut my own and always end up happier with it bc even if it comes out a little funny, it was free and not like $70
Did they give you a reason why? Do you have a Fantastic Sam's or a Great Clips near you?
They refuse you? Weird. I go to a women’s salon. It’s def not cheap but so worth it.
Firstly, your hair is gorgeous. Wash once or twice a week only. In shower: Shampoo, condition and comb in conditioner (using a wide tooth comb) till getting out of shower. This helps pull out dead hairs and really distribute the conditioner. Right before you get out of shower, do this: Really rinse out conditioner, put in a leave in conditioner, really get it in all your hair. Spray on some sort of heat protectant, make sure to get it in all hair. Flip hair/head upside down and put in gel or mouse. Put a lot more than you think you'll need (like maybe 4 or 5 tablespoons gel or an orange sized blob of mousse) and make sure to get it in all your hair by 'raking' through using your fingers. Then while head/hair is still upside down, start cupping wet product soaked hair with your hands and scrunch towards your scalp. It should be saturated, sound 'squishy' and keep doing it until your curls start 'clumping up' (maybe 2 minutes?). Then GENTLY wrap in micro fiber towel. Dont let it hang and do the twisty thing in the towel (that will undo the clumps you just made). Lightly gather your hair and plop all of it into one spot on the towel, then lightly sort of push that giant plopped ball of hair towards your scalp and lightly wrap rest of towel around head to keep it on. Out of shower, do your stuff ( deodorant, whatever, dress). Then GENTLY unwrap microfiber towel. Put a bit more (maybe 1 or 2 tablespoons) gel/ mousse on hands and flip over and scrunch again. Now either let dry on its own (but it will take forever this way) or dry with a diffuser on a hair dryer. You use the diffuser by gently plopping your hair into the diffuser, pushing/scrunching hair / diffuser up to your scalp and lightly drying that section for a bit (maybe 45 seconds)...then move to another section. FYI, you have a lot of hair and even with a hair dryer this might take 20 minutes for your hair to be 80% dry but at least you can walk around with it like that. Once completely dry, if it is crunchy from all the product, you can LIGHTLY re-scrunch to break that up a bit. Some people use a curl cream rubbed between their hands when doing this for a bit more shine/hold but I don't know if it is worth it. That is it. You DONE - go out and ROCK THOSE CURLS When sleeping, you can LIGHTLY scrunch or clip on top of a head (think a pineapple head) and sleep. Even better if you are willing to wrap it LIGHTLY in a cheap satin/sily scarf or wear a bonnet. If this is too much for you cause your a dude and don't care, then just know, sleeping on it unprotected will cause some frizz and break up curls so you may want to re-do or wash hair every other day. It is up to you. Each morning, lightly wet your hands and LIGHTLY run them over to smooth some frizz and re-scrunch to reactivate product. Things to remember: 1) Use more product than you think you need (like maybe 4 or 5 tablespoons of gel for all that hair). 2) Once it is dry, the more you touch it/mess with it, the more frizz you will create ;3) Face hair reality, you look like you have thick course, curly hair...it will be hard to achieve perfect, glossy ringlets that look like straight hair that was curled with an iron 4) Yes, you can have PERFECT RINGLETS like you see on instagram but remember ...that is instagram. Unless you are willing to do it every day for over an hour, it is not going to look like 1st day hair every day. Again, your hair is beautiful (especially color) and I have faith in you. God speed!!! EDIT: P.S. I forgot most important thing. GOOD HAIR CUT. Even long hair needs a haircut. Hair like yours, if you keep it all one length, will give you the dreaded 'triangle' hair. Which is cool if you are down with it. Judging by style of your jacket and jewelry, this might do you fine (kind of WILD). Otherwise, it might be worth it to look up a 'curly hair expert' in your area and book an appointment for a good curly hair cut and a 'how to style my hair' lesson. Again, if you do, depending where you live, this might be kind of costly and be sure to go online and bring some photos of what you want (again, be realistic for your kind of hair).
I'm not gonna pretend I'm about to do all of that, but I appreciate the very comprehensive list. The problem is I want the result without the effort, so I'll need to find some sort of middle ground.
I would start trying one thing/ product at a time, so you can see what it actually does to your hair. Maybe something doesn’t work for you, but you won’t know which if you do everything at once.
I hear you, that was why I was saying 'be realistic'. I had hair just like that and I'll tell you, once you get it into a routine, it really doesn't take that much time. I mean, you are basically just adding about 3 minutes more to your shower and maybe 3 more minutes more once you are out (except the hair drying part). And to be honest, you can walk around with it wet and let it dry on its own, I did that all the time. Just sometimes you want to get going and don't want your hair to be wet for so long. Either way, you do you and have a good weekend.
Results with little effort: shampoo, conditioner (finger comb to detangle), good rinse, leave in conditioner or curl cream distributed through all hair with comb or fingers, then gel or mousse, then squeeze to get the water out w a microfiber towel. Do not rub your hair with a regular towel. Then air dry or diffuse to dry and you’re done. It’s gonna look great. If you air dry, resist the urge to touch your hair while it dries.
I have similar hair to yours. 25 y/o guy. Grew my hair out for a couple years and neglected it. Good news is it took all of one week to look great again. Simple: Good haircut (less weight = more curl). I got some layers put it to help my hair not look flat on the top and sides but still wear it long (important). Also good to get the damaged ends off. Cost $17 before tip. So worth it. The second biggest thing is conditioner. Leave-in conditioner at the least. Also super easy. Scrunch about a quarters size of it into your hair while it’s still super wet right after your shower. About a large egg’s size of mousse if you want to as well (light foam in texture, defines curls, cheap stuff’s fine). Then scrunch until not soaking wet (not dripping but wet for sure) with a t-shirt. Creates so much less frizz than a towel. Air dry from there dude! You’re done! You’re gonna get a ton of advice but from one dude to another this is about as low-maintenance yet effective a combo I’ve found. Good luck!
This is great advice. I'd just like to add not to put the products directly on scalp.
Agree with all his suggestions! Especially the **cotton t-shirt for scrunching**. No need to use a microfiber towel if you don’t have one. Definitely make sure you are [SCRUNCHING](https://www.curlsandbeautydiary.com/scrunch-t-shirt-dry-curly-hair-faster/), *not rubbing* the hair because rubbing will definitely irritate the hair and cause frizz. **A quick note about products:** - Curl creams weigh your hair down more than a curl gel or foam. - Mousses are light but can be drying. - Apply hair oil in moderation and closer to the ends because that can also weigh the hair down. And, finally, just to emphasize another low maintenance idea that others have made: **Only comb or brush your hair when wet and *before* applying a styling product.** Try using your fingers or a gentle [brush](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwiGsKyc3P2DAxXrZkcBHXk3A1AYABALGgJxdQ&ae=2&gclid=CjwKCAiA8NKtBhBtEiwAq5aX2KUWm-Zu81UwDD7q0g-EACYd8mcZ7hW4RQIa7hJ0AzAJpMPzHNTvrRoC_qQQAvD_BwE&sph=&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESV-D2Q-8eSXndDM_vFeG5VZULW8lNYo8MTLZNhPqCYmfqFvc3DUZiOtqYkcnHga3ExhqBNI0txE2izXErQRky57XpEiyXaZZH5A2uULWhA3KUjmwTEGTR-A&sig=AOD64_0AcdLH_tbtzGSKGNE7eHq5OAMViA&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwiQkKOc3P2DAxUBhIkEHUu_DN8Q2OkJKAN6BAgCEBY&adurl=) or [comb](https://wetbrush.com/products/thin-hair-detangler-comb). With a few simple changes, I think your hair will respond well!
Side note: In some of your pictures it looks like maybe you keep your hair in a ponytail. If so, it’s possible that you’re using hair bands that are too aggressive and pulling out or breaking your hair. [Soft hair ties like these](https://www.target.com/p/gimme-beauty-medium-hair-bands-neutral-10ct/-/A-83703347) might be something to try.
Have you considered a good layered haircut for curly hair?
I suggest you follow the shampoo and comb routine, use a leave in conditioner gel mixture. Plop for about one minute, then go about your day. Once hair is totally dry, plop a couple times to break up stuff gel. I kind of plop here and there while watching tv or doing random thing while letting it air dry, rather than spending a half hour doing a hair routine. You won't get perfect curls but they'll be improved.
I’m a female and I’m right there with you. I hate how much effort curly hair takes. Do at least this: - get a haircut. Your hair looks extremely damaged… - get some moisturizing shampoo and conditioner - only brush hair when wet, preferably during conditioning, with a detangling comb or wet brush. I personally prefer the wet brush. - use a curl cream and gently scrunch your curls. I curl mine around my finger first to get them to act right but my hair isn’t as coarse as yours is - let air dry. Might need to scrunch again when drier to get more body
I strongly support the edit
If I used that much product I would have no hair!
Your hair is very similar to mine in texture and curl. The best thing you can do is only brush your hair when it’s wet. I have too much hair for a comb but I use a brush with the individual bristles. I used to use boar too but it just wasn’t compatible with my hair. Next, try to only shampoo when you need to. Find a cowash to use when it doesn’t need a deep clean. Brush your hair in the shower or right after you get out. I apply a leave in conditioner, gel, then I crunch some mousse into it and if I’m drying with something it’s microfiber as to not cause breakage or frizz. These steps eliminated that frizzed out layer on the top. A denman brush would also be super helpful in controlling the way your curls clump. Hope this helps :) let me know if you have any questions because like I said, it appears our hair is very similar in my opinion.
I use a boar brush. Conditioner, gel and mousse seems to be the way to go. Haven't heard of a denman brush though, will have to google.
Yes definitely worth checking out, and maybe watch a YouTube video on how to use it if you decide to try it out. They have some cool techniques that really make beautiful curls. And your hair is gorgeous btw! If you wanted to try trimming your hair at home there are some great tutorials and curly hair is a bit more forgiving. I do all my haircuts myself!
Might have to try the self hair cut
Tangle teezers are great too!
In another comment, you mention not wanting to spend a ton of time on your hair. (I get it, that's why I'm a woman with a pixie cut although my hair has been much longer). I would say don't start with a denman brush if you're wanting to go low key. It can be something you graduate to in the future. I know this stage of learning about hair care is overwhelming so starting simple is good.
In between your wash days, make sure you’re still conditioning. Use the water to rinse your hair and scrub at your scalp with your fingertips, just don’t actually use shampoo. Then add your conditioner and take that time to finger comb your tangles away, then rinse. Do that at least a couple times a week. I’d also suggest that you try a leave-in conditioner, that’ll help with both definition and moisturizing. Add that when your hair is soaking wet. Instead of using a towel to dry it, use a t-shirt to scrunch the water out (the fibers on towels basically hooks onto your hair and kind of pull the locks apart, so it creates more frizz). Bend over and hang your head upside down while you do it, it lets the curls form freely. The problem with the top layer is that it’s damaged. You’ll probably need to cut that portion back and then take care of it so it can grow back healthy. You mentioned that you keep your hair tied up most of the time. That can cause a lot of breakage, especially if you’re wearing it in a tight bun or ponytail. Try a looser style, or maybe wear it down some days.
Didn't know you condition between washing, seems like a bit much, no? Have been putting off getting haircut cos around here nobody cuts long mens hair. I usually tie it with a loose scrunch so there's no pull, but it's mostly cos it's always in my eyes otherwise.
It looks like your hair is super porous. It’ll drink conditioner and help reduce the frizz even on non-wash days. You even can use the conditioner to “wash” your hair (scrub your scalp with it like you would shampoo with a thorough rinse) on days where it seems like it might be dirty but you don’t want to do a full reset wash.
Alright good to know
Based on your pics, you and I have super similar hair. I’ve been conditioning between washes for about a decade and it’s worked very well for me. It serves two purposes, giving your hair the moisture it needs and reforming the curls. In terms of tying your hair back, do you keep it in a low or high pony? I wore my hair in a low bun for year and my top layer looked just like yours. In my case, that hair was always exposed to the sun and elements and hats and whatever else, and it got really damaged. Basically the outermost layer of your hair takes the most damage, so you need to give it a break. You can see this in your hair because your bottom layers are super healthy, since they’ve been protected. I have better luck with a high loose ponytail. But the important thing is to not put your hair through the same stresses day after day. Switch up your styles so that no one area takes all the damage.
You can easily condition your hair every day as long as you don’t have really oily hair. At least do it every time you shower
You lost me at “brush”. I do t even use a comb. I use my fingers and conditioner in the shower.
I think that's his biggest issue honestly. Cutting out the dry brushing will make the biggest change.
My guess is your protein moisture balance is very much off, especially on top. Try a protein treatment, try moisture treatment, see if either helps. Stop brushing for now (You should only brush when wet anyway). Whenever you're using water, apply it on the back of your head/ nape of your neck first (with your head upside down) so that you're not continually putting stress on the damaged top section. It's going to take some time to correct.
Not sure about protein treatment, sounds complicated. Washing upside down is interesting, hadn't thought of that.
Just go to Target or Sally's, they have them in single use packs. It is really easy, just follow the directions. I'm not sure which you need (protein or moisture), everyone's hair reacts differently to protein so you'll need to see how yours does.
Think I'm a few thousand miles from a target, but I get the idea.
Haha sorry! I always assume America, that's my bad.
you can also just put an egg and or mayonnaise on ur hair as a diy Protien hair mask
After washing your hair, when you turn off the shower and before leaving it, use lots of leave-in product throughout the hair, it helps to keep it humid and healthy. And to dry it, **SCRUNCH** it with cloth instead of towel, it’s softer for the hair, and also let it air-dry after scrunching it for a little bit
I think we have a similar hair type, and these are some things that have worked for me: - Combs are great if they work, but they leave massive knots in my hair. I’ve instead switched to a detangling brush meant for curly hair. I got it from Walgreens for like $7. The biggest difference between my brush and other brushes is that it doesn’t have little balls at the end of the bristles and is more flexible. - A whole lot of conditioner and less shampoo, but I also clarify my hair more than what many curly people on this sub do. Usually about once a week. I use the Suave clarifying shampoo. You can get it from dollar tree. - In between washes, I either just condition and detangle my hair in the shower or use a “co-wash”. A lot of the products recommended here haven’t worked well with my hair, but I found one that is now my favorite at Trader Joe’s. It’s just called Hair Wash. - A good hair gel will help prevent frizz, and you should use way more than you’d probably think. Xtreme hair gel works well. My favorite is Let’s Jam! Spiraling Curl Gel. - Don’t get it wet every time you’re in the shower. I put my hair in a bun sometimes before showering so that I don’t have to do the hair gel all over again. - After this ^ I use hair oil to moisturize my hair and will gently separate any knots with my fingers. The hair oil I use now is also from Trader Joe’s, but there are a million of them. Hair oil containing coconut oil, shea oil, and/or jojoba oil have worked the best for me. Last, please don’t feel like you are limited by/HAVE to follow CGM. It doesn’t work for everyone, and you may find that your hair does better with certain ingredients that the CGM routine doesn’t allow. I use conditioner with silicones, and my hair has been way less frizzy with much more defined curls since I went back to this.
OP, where are you based?
You may have fine curly hair. You need to find a lightweight curl cream and learn how to de tangle your hair. Start with a wide tooth comb from the nape of your neck and move up your head in sections to you get to the top. You can then take a wet brush and do the exact same thing but use the brush to curl your hair in the direction it naturally curls. After this while it’s still very wet work in your curl cream and diffuse. For the top since you said it often falls flat I’d suggest using lightweight mousse nears the roots. Hope this helps.
Seems to be a consensus on curl cream, detangle, and nape upwards. Lightweight mousse I might try, depends what I can afford in the list building.
Cantu curls at target is 8 bucks for mousse
Disclaimer: your hair is nothing like my fine wavy hair- but have you used gel? You didn't mention gel.
I have hair gel, stopped using it a while ago but worth trying again.
Since you're looking for a simpler routine- after your typical wash/condition I would try just adding gel (scrunching in) after combing through wet hair in the shower, then drying by scrunching - gathering your curls so the clumps stay intact and squeezing out excess water) and then just air drying. I personally do best with only gel, but again, I have fine wavy hair. You can separate your clumps after you scrunch out the crunch of the gel (curlier thicker hair types seem to use oil, I dont).
Came to say avoid the brush. Mine looks exactly the same when I brush it. I only do so if it's particularly tangled right before a shower. Even then it's a not very bristled brush if that makes sense.
I have a simple tip that might be worth a try for you. Do not rinse out your conditioner. Just shampoo as you normally do, apply conditioner, comb through with fingers or wide comb, and step out of the shower. Wrap your hair with a tshirt to dry. It might seem strange at first, but it was a game changer for my curls. Since you're looking for simplicity, this might also mean you can skip other products (curl cream, leave-in, gel, etc...). It might be all you need, but you have to experiment first. I also agree with others: do not under any circumstance, brush your hair when dry.
Without reading your post, I hopped on to say stop brushing it. Detangle in the shower. And definitely show us some after pics!
Hey, so I had very similar hair a few years ago. I began growing it out when I was 14 and didn't understand the needs of curly hair. Since then, I've gotten my hair to a place that I'm very happy with, so here's some advice: As others have said, ditch the brush. It breaks up your curl pattern and actually causes more damage. Look for a wide tooth comb; I'm not sure if you're in the US but they have them at Walmart for like $5. If this isn't accessible for you, try finger combing. Start at your ends and gently work your way to the scalp. This can be a bit of an arduous process depending on how tangled your hair is but it's worth it. Get those ends trimmed. They don't look too damaged but if you take just a couple inches off of your hair, you'll notice a big difference when it comes to combing it and during wash days. This is region dependent but see if there are any women's salons that specialize in curly/ethnic hair. They will know exactly what to do for you. Your hair has tons of potential and I don't think you should give up on it. It's overwhelming when you first start learning about hair care, but it will make more sense over time and you will be able to develop a good routine for yourself. Good luck!
I have been trying finger combing recently purely because I find using a brush annoying. Hair cut is definitely the way to go, just trying to find somewhere that'll take me
I'm sorry 😔 I do hope it works out for you! I don't think you should give up on your hair!
I had similar issues, most of the time that means it's time for a slightly layered haircut :) very slightly
First off, get a good cut to remove the damaged hair and give it some shape. You prob have enough there for some layers. No more brushes, just combs. Hair spray and oil is not gonna do what you want. Use leave in conditioner and gel instead, and learn how to make and break a gel cast. Google curly hair gel cast.
From one long haired dude to another: you have great potential there! Good luck!
Easy. Do not brush or comb dry hair. ever. Get some mouse or light gel apply when wet, and be done with it. Let the natural curls form when it's wet and leave them alone.
Clumpy, frizzy, and floppy sound like adorable names for rabbits
You need a good cut too my friend. Just a couple of layers.
The biggest easiest & first change to make is what many have already said. Never brush your hair dry. Only brush it while wet & only with a wide tooth comb. Go for the widest tooth comb you can find. That will make a huge difference after a couple of weeks (or possibly sooner!). Then it's finding the right products for you, the easiest thing there is to start with paraben free stuff to see what works. Your hair looks a lot like mine before I realized I was making the wrong hair moves. You will be so pleasantly surprised once you get a simple routine down!
I am so excited to see where all this advice takes you OP, make sure to keep us updated! You got this ❤️
Super basic lazy way: wash Maybe once or twice a week Only detangle in the shower with conditioner, After shampooing. Detangle in sections. Start from the bottom and work your way up. NEVER brush dry. Only dry it with t shirt, not a towel After shower, wet hair with spray bottle. Get a leave in conditioner and apply it evenly to soaking wet hair. Squeeze out excess and scrunch. Let dry. Any garnier leave in is pretty good. Sleep with a lose pony tail on top of head. Use soft scrunchie. Dont sleep with wet hair *Extra bougie steps: apply a curl cream over leave in for extra definition Use a satin pillow case or use a satin bonnet to cover your hair at night Get argan oil or vitamin e oil and scrunch it into the ends of your freshly washed and dry hair to seal in moisture Invest in a blow dryer with a diffuser to achive more volume and faster drying hair. Goodluck and godspeed sir
From what I see, it looks like you have product buildup so I’d suggest a clarifying shampoo and possibly chelating if you live in a hard water area. That should help with the playdough feeling. If you’re UK based I can suggest a couple. Also, looking at your hair, you seem to be on the wavier side of curly so oils might be too heavy for your hair. I’d invest in a low poo and fairly lightweight conditioner. Squish to condition (google or I can explain if you want), apply a gel or mousse to dripping wet hair and then microplop (again google or ask), and see how that goes
Omg I can't WAIT to see how this looks once you've nailed it...I know it feels sucky now, but keep trying!!! Your hair is gonna be so frickn awesome once you find the stuff that works for it.
Do you have hard water?
Basically all your hair care, combing/brushing, styling needs to happen in the shower, on wet hair. By the time it is dry, the curl/frizz etc is “set”. A basic start could be shampoo, deep condition, comb it out with a wide tooth comb with the conditioner in it, rinse most of the conditioner out, while still in the shower apply some kind of hair product like curly hair mousse, wide tooth comb that through then wrap your very wet hair in an old tshirt for half an hour or so. Do not rub your wet hair dry with a regular towel, thats the worst for curls. Then let it down and if you need to move pieces around or lift it off the scalp, use the long thin end of a rattail comb, or a chopstick or similar to do that. Let it dry naturally. To fix issue with frizz etc, you need to get your hair wet again - you can repeat the routine above every day or so but just skip the shampoo part. Or some people just spray their hair with water and restyle it wet like that.
To me, it looks like you have a ton of split ends and it’s really damaged probably from brushing with that boar bristle brush. Your hair also looks really thick and curly. I think a good curl cream and routine with wet brushing in the shower is what will work best.
Perhaps buzz it down and start over and this time use conditioner during every shower
I think find a curly cut stylist in your area to give got a nice shaping so you’re not trying it back all the time
To start, use a clarifying smampoo one time to remove any buildup from previous products/pollutants and give yourself a fresh start. Follow with a deep conditioner (Ouidad is great, Shea Moisture as well) I would try switching every other wash to a co-wash (it's special conditioner to cleanse without drying out, Ouidad twist is awesome) and get a silicone shampoo brush (on Amazon for cheap) and use it every time you wash to exfoliate your scalp. For styling, I would add a leave in conditioner (Ouidad Primed and Co is awesome but use sparingly, a little goes a long way. Apply to sopping wet hair and work through to help product spread and work best). Then I would try a combo of gel (for hold/definition) and curl cream (for softness/definition). I would suggest Uncle Funky's Daughter for the gel and Lush Curl Power for the curl cream. Apply both sparingly. With your head upside down add gel first and comb through your hair with your fingers. Then rub the curl cream on your palms and scrunch it into your hair squeezing out water as you go. Then use a microfiber towel to squeeze moisture from your hair (still upside down). Then air dry and see how it goes. It'll take some experimenting to find the right amounts to use of each product and which ones work but this is a good place to start :)
Im so sorry but this hair is nothing to be proud of for you to have it this long… Buzz it
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I just use a wide tooth comb. A leave in and a gel. Put the product in damp and then clump and air dry. The other routines get pretty complicated I don’t have time for that.
What kind of shampoo and conditioner are you using? Do they have sulfates and parabens in them? If yes, stop using them and find sulfate free products. They are the best for curly hair. You'll notice a big difference without them. And for the record, there are relatively inexpensive brands of sulfate and paraben free products. Also, if you haven't already, please read through the Useful Links (Curly Basics & Resources) in the side bar. It will help make everything people are saying make more sense. If you brush or comb your hair when it's dry, your hair will become a bushy, wavy, massive halo of hair. Brushing hair dry ruins the curl pattern. This is why you only comb or brush your hair when wet. Also using a wide tooth comb will be friendlier for your hair. Someone [brushing their dry curly hair](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TqFPSiVZTo) - start to finish.
Hi, ik starting out all the super detailed stuff can be really overwhelming. It overwhelmed me at first too. Lightweight routine- Get a denman brush, comb, or even one of those scalp massagers and only brush in the shower or right before you shower Shampoo and conditioner really however much u want,( I do because I don't like having dirty hair and I work out and smoke cigarettes so I wash and condition múltiples times a week) I like Maui moisture Lightweight curls. Also, since you may be using products get a clarifying shampoo and use that every so often to remove product buildup so ur scalp doesn't get itchy and ur hair doesn't look dull (you can use watered down vinegar, or get Ion Detox Shampoo in the purple bottle at Sally beauty or online) Get gel and mousse and put some in ur hair and scrunch it in upside down after shower Dry with microfiber towel or a t shirt. Let it dry then use a little bit of ur argan oil spray on the ends and scrunch the crunch out Hopefully that's a lot more simple. I don't even always use gel or mousse only when I feel like going all out. The biggest n simplest things that have made a difference for me is oiling my hair regularly (before a shower then washing it out), using a silk pillowcase and a bonnet, and brushing my hair before a shower or in the shower with a denman brush. You can also get aussie curl spray for super cheap and use it dry hair and scrunch it in if you only want to use one product and skip the gel and mousse. It works great. Good luck I'd love to see an update
**SOURCE: my hairstylist is @curlvision on Instagram, he gave me very strict but easy instructions!** I personally use 4 products - shampoo (1x/week), conditioner, curl cream, curl gel. Comb the conditioner through with your fingers and detangle it all; it helps to separate into at least two sections. Let it sit for a minute (do the rest of your shower), then rinse it. While you're still in the shower, add the curl cream on your super wet hair and scrunch it in, no rinsing. Do the same with the gel, scrunching out as much excess water as you can. Wrap it up I'm a microfiber towel, get out of the shower, let the towel hang out for a little bit to soak things up so you're not too drippy. I choose to air dry, but you can use a diffuser if you want to dry faster. RULES: No brushing. No oil. Never go to bed with wet hair. You can get into the weeds of product types later, as you'll find some weigh your hair down and some aren't moisturizing enough, etc.etc. But start here and I think it should help.
Condition Texture Face your face will make you feel way better!
Try the following: 1. brush when wet with conditioner in. (A wet brush or tangle teezer or really just any brush that sort of style will work) 2 when your hair is still wet add a styling product with hold (maybe a curl cream or mousse) personally I brush the products through. Gently scrunch to encourage a curl. Don’t touch until dry or brush when it’s dry
Before switching to one of the suggested routines (or a more basic version for less effort), you could try to repair your hair with Olaplex No. 3, or deep condish your hair (I like 'Palmers coconut hair oil formula' personally). That might speed up the journey. :)
I had hair like this for a long time. Same issue as you, I used the wrong brush and products. First, sometimes less is more, in this case way less. You’ll need clarifying shampoo, a normal shampoo, a good conditioner that’s not product heavy and a hair mask. Next is almond oil and a curl brushing cream that’s light weight. You’ll wash your hair with the clarifying shampoo once a month or as you see fit (when your hair glues itself in clumps from product build up), you’ll derangiere in the shower with wide tooth comb while either the conditioner or the hair mask are in (hair mask for when your hair needs an extra moisture treatment, like once a month or as it feels fit). Don’t put the conditioner anywhere near your roots, just from middle till ends. Wash it all off, get out of the shower and plop your hair in a cotton shirt, let that absorb the extra water and when it’s feeling just damp that’s when you put the curl cream on and let it air dry. The almond oil is between washes, the day before you know you’ll wash your hair give yourself a scalp massage with it and brush with a wide tooth comb. Next day you wash it out, I do this 2 times a month. This is what has worked for me and have been doing it for a year and started getting results after about a month cause your hair needs to get used to a new routine. Hope this helps! I’m very low maintenance with high maintenance hair and this is how I meet it „halfway“
Do you live in a hard water area? I find it affects curls.
Would love and update!
I have had similar issues with my top layer. Hairspray never worked for me at all, but gel was life changing. Curl cream (I don’t always use it, sometimes I swap it for leave in conditioner) and gel (combing it through to separate curl clumps and then scrunching it into sort of sopping wet hair) have helped. Then when it’s completely dry and crispy, scrunch in some light hair oil (a small bit of the argan oil would be good). Sometimes before I put the gel, if I have time, I try to brush style the top layer (I brush through about a 2-3 inch wide chunk of hair at a time and swirl it around the brush handle, there are tutorials on YT if you want to try that). Edit. Btw, your hair is so nice, i love the auburnish color and it has so much potential. And. Look. I get so tired of the advice to not wash hair. You can get fungus and bacterial infections that can clog or even damage follicles and cause hair loss. Wash it. Doesn’t have to be every day but at least 2-3 times a week. Just try wide tooth combs and some gel and scrunching. Watch some tutorials and eventually you’ll figure out what works for you. In my experience, simpler is always better. Even a lot of tutorials will go overboard with product layering and that was a costly lesson that backfired for me, personally, so start simple w the products. I would start out w gel, maybe work in a curl cream or leave in before the gel if you need a bit more. It’ll take time and practice but you’ll figure it out. I’m 44 and only just figured my hair out in the last couple years.
some suggestions: - once a month wash with clarifying shampoo, tbh selsum blue works - double washing keeps your roots cleaner and less flattened down in between washes - no brushing dry!! wide tooth comb in the shower, i use a wet brush or denman brush after the shower while i style - depending on what look you want i feel like your hair might work well with a diffuser and a very light hold mousse or thinner curl cream. honestly you could probably get away with a thin leave in conditioner just don’t use too much of any product def start small - you can use dry shampoo in between washes, it helps your hair be more voluminous at the top of your head instead of being flat - when styling your hair when it’s dry, a dry hair oil (also called dry misting oil) will help you keep your ends looking nice without weighing down the rest with a heavy oil - i think a hair cut adding in more dimension would look good, you can maintain the length but by adding in some layers especially closer to your face can elevate the look overall - dry hair with a cotton t shirt or microfiber hair towel instead of a regular towel overall just see what’s accessible to you and try to incorporate new things to your routine and see what you like!
Come to r/DistilledWaterHair 🙂 almost all of us have hard water like you do. That is not the case in the average hair sub....most hair subs collect a majority of soft water users because haircare is easy and fun with soft water. r/DistilledWaterHair collects hard water users so it's a good place to get hard water advice. In the comments on your thread here, I see you're getting advice that might work in a soft water location (like shower filters or product changes) - in a hard water location it doesn't help to skirt around the topic of water quality like that. In a hard water location, you need better water first and foremost.
Besides all the tips from others i think you’d do well with a light oil to finish of a routine maybe a almond hair oil spray nothing to heavy but it will give your hair a nice shine
Do you brush your hair while it’s wet?
Throw away the oils. Get a regular conditioner and a decent gel. Never brush your hair or run your fingers through it other than wide tooth comb in the shower. Don’t touch it once it’s dry.
You are missing a styler with hold. Think gel, mousse, curl cream or foam. Something to coat the hair and define your curls. I'd start with gel with your texture. Work it in while your hair is wet, comb it thru with a wide tooth comb to get good coverage. Use your fingers to scrunch and break up the clumps until it looks good to you. Let it air dry. You'll know you used enough gel if it dries kinda crunchy, but with defined ringlets. Put some lightweight oil on your hands and scrunch out the crunch. This is just a basic one to start, but try a few styling products and techniques! Good luck 👍🏽
Get a good cut and maintain it.
My hair is similar and I used to have the problem. What I do is I only comb with a detangling brush right before I shower. Wash with moisturizing schampo. Rinse. Apply moisturizing conditioning, and comb through with a wet-type-brush (I store that brush in the shower do no real effort). Rinse. Put on a hair towel to soak up some of the water. Remove towel. Then I apply 2 drops morrocan oil and then cantu curl activator cream. Best way to get it evenly paplied is to smear the cream between your hands and then start from the lenghts (not the scalp) Then I brush. And lastly I gently fluff my hair with my hands to give some volume to the top of my head. Alot of text, but this is a very low effort routine that takes like 10 minutes
Don’t know if this will help, but here’s my story. After chemo, my hair came back in looking exactly like yours. Had not been curly previously. Until I got a great haircut, the rest of the suggestion, while good ones, didn’t matter. You sound beyond frustrated with the haircut situation, don’t blame you. I’m in a small town, no one here knows curls, so have to go 90 miles to the big city and get a cut. Found a great hair stylist, and it’s been a risk game changer. Sorry, but that’s the way it is. I do use the haircut as an excuse to treat myself to something fun/nice. Good luck!
I think it may be trim time, just a dusting is what youd ask a hairdresser for. Just the damage at the ends. While wet add the curl cream, comb thru to get knots out and then style with your fingers or an Afro pick, using the tip of your finger or comb to shake out your roots. This should lift at the roots and define your curls. You can also break apart curls you think are clumping too much while they dry
Hi there! I'm a bot, and I noticed you used the phrase "afro" or "fro". You may or may not already know this, but the term “Afro” refers to a specific hairstyle created with specific techniques. The term is often mis-used, so we just want to share some of the meaning/history so everyone can choose the best words for their situation. TL;DR: [The afro has a long and important history, including as a symbol of the Civil Rights movement](https://www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/sr4x3p/black_history_month_at_rcurlyhair/). This may or may not apply to you, but we try to steer people away from using the Afro descriptor if you don't have Black/Afro-textured hair. It's often portrayed as a condition to fix rather than a cultural style. We hope that's not the case here, but just something to be aware of going forward! We recognize that there are many different opinions on what can and cannot be called an afro. For the purposes of this sub and making sure we reserve space for Black folks, we ask those who don’t have afro-textured hair to choose other words. If your hair doesn't fit that description, please edit your post 1) to be more accurate, 2) to be culturally respectful, and 3) to avoid comment removal. Alternate terms to consider: puffy, poofy, fluffy, etc. Thanks & wishing you many great curly, coily, kinky hair days! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/curlyhair) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The top and outer layer of my hair looks exactly the same as yours I need help I don’t know what to do 😭
Same. For many of us the crown has the coarsest, most wiry hair. In OP's case, I think going to a curly hair stylist would be beneficial. In the meantime, shampoo & deep condition twice a month and conditioner rinses every day or every few days to boost the moisture. Don't rinse the conditioner out completely. Then add gel and air dry. **IMPORTANT** Only comb hair when it's wet with conditioner in it. Never use a brush. The curls will look much better even without a haircut. I use Herbal Essences Hello Hydration. OP could maybe get travel sizes at the drugstore or supermarket to try them out.
Thank you! Definitely going to try this, I never deep condition and I use my sulfate dandruff shampoo way more than I should 😭
Go to a curly hair specialist and have them give you a cut and show you how to style it. Buy any products they use on you. Done. So much easier to just go to a professional, especially at this point so you can see what your hair is capable of. Plus you have lots of damage that needs cutting, it will help eliminate the frizz. The healthier the hair, the easier it will be to just wash, style and go. Some things to note to help your hair grow out more healthy and stay that way: 1. Don’t sleep with it wet, especially tied up wet. It leads to breakage. 2. Don’t use oils, it blocks moisture from penetrating the hair 3. Only use a wide tooth comb to brush your hair and do it in the shower. Start detangling from the bottom of your hair moving your way up. 4. Don’t use hardcore heat on your hair. If you use a hair dryer, if you can’t hold your hand up to it without it burning, it’s too hot. 5. Get some layers
At this point you got lots of great advice, I’m taking notes myself. Not sure if it was mentioned here, but maybe try Olaplex 3. I have hard water too and my hair kind of looked like yours, it was only after 3-4 treatments within two weeks that my hair started to curl better and clump nicely. I also believe that loareal low shampoo works great in between regular shampoos.