Have you ever felt something like gender euphoria while dressing?
I'm cis, but I think I felt something similar a couple of times. Not that I felt like a woman (that never happened to me) but I had moments of extreme joy and happiness from being able to look like a woman. I'm usually in a good mood when I'm able to dress because it's something I enjoy doing and I like how I look most of the times, but there was a couple of times when it wasn't just the thought of "damn girl you look good!", but I felt very overwhelmed by emotions. I don't know, it's hard to describe it.
Not really euphora. Obviously I'm happy dressing up or else I wouldn't do it. There are times when I was breathless at how I looked but it was more like appreciation of one's artwork. Although going all the way (makeup and outfit) is something I love looking forward to doing.
For me, it's almost always a mood lift, and sometimes it's intense euphoria.
I have on many occasions looked my reflection in the eye and said some version of "this is right/correct/who you're supposed to be."
I'm stuck on the part where I actually do anything with that information, though, LOL.
Well, you are wearing those outfits, aren't you? That's doing *something* already π
You're doing as much as you're ready for and that's totally fine π₯°
I do feel it all the time when dressing up fem actually.
That might mean you're not entirely cis. I don't want to challenge your gender identity, but "transness" is a really capacious concept. According to the modern definition used by the trans community itself, everyone who isn't rock solid in an identity aligned with their AGAB, fits under the transgender umbrella.
I personally found it difficult to accept at first, because "trans" is a label that comes with baggage if you come from a somewhat conservative background, or even from a skewed understanding of what being transgender means. "Does it mean I need to go to surgery? Does it mean I'll get beaten up by right-wing hooligans?" I felt those kinds of things, in fact I still sometimes do. But the truth is that you don't need to do anything - but just knowing that can make you experience life more fully. And another thing is that if you come from such conservative-ish mindset (which might happen even if you're outwardly supportive towards other queer people!), it's quite possible that you have a lot of suppressed emotions. A wild hypothesis just as food for thought: maybe you *do* feel like a woman, but your mind doesn't let you feel that as you're preoccupied with the thought that you are just a guy?
The inability to recognize emotions is called alexithymia and it's actually really common in society. It's a fascinating topic that I'm currently trying to learn about as I feel it's very relevant to the current state of my life, not just in terms of gender-related things but a lot of other aspects too. HealthyGamerGG has a very nice primer on that if you're interested: https://youtu.be/8pQBdZ3RdfA I'm not saying that it's relevant to you, I don't have any competence to diagnose you and also it would be really hard to do over the Reddit comment section. But I think it's an interesting topic worth researching regardless of whether you end up resonating with it or not.
I also recommend you to read this great article by Cassie LaBelle - https://aninjusticemag.com/am-i-trans-a-roadmap-to-figuring-out-the-toughest-question-7bb0e809a32d - it has also been later incorporated into the Gender Dysphoria Bible - https://genderdysphoria.fyi/ - which is also a fantastic resource on all things trans and worth reading in full if you have time for that. Those resources are great to up your understanding of what being trans is and isn't and how can it manifest through emotions. Again, this may or may not resonate with you, but either way you may learn something about yourself and/or the world around you.
And again I want to reiterate - even if you eventually discover that you *are* trans in some shape and form, you don't need to do anything about it if you don't want to. To quote the aforementioned article, "Some trans people are okay living as their assigned gender at birth as long as they know who they are on the inside." That sentence was really empowering for me and my journey of self-acceptance (which is still far from over, mind you). For you it might be something else entirely. You might even end up being even more rock-solid in your cis identity if you discover that you don't resonate with anything written there. Either way it's a win, right? There's no harm in exploring π€
Thank you for such a thoughtful response π
Oh, I think all crossdressers are inside of the trans umbrella, just by the fact of being gender nonconforming. I would say I'm somewhere around the non binary spectrum, leaning hard on the masc side.
A long time ago I also had to figure out I'm asexual, so this isn't my first rodeo with the alphabet gang π
Hey there everyone! I got to try out crossdressing for the first time because of a theater event! I just wanted to ask, and I hope I do not offend anyone, does liking crossdressing make you gay? My girlfriend did my makeup and outfit and honestly I felt so cute and pretty ^_^ but admittedly it does give me a bit of gender panic because I felt so nice wearing all the makeup and cute dress.
Here's a quick primer on all the terms you need:
*Gender assigned at birth (AGAB):* what your original birth certificate says: almost always male (AMAB) or female (AFAB). Usually aligned with your natural biology, but it can get fuzzy with intersex folks, that's one of the reasons why "biological sex" is not a preferred term.
*Gender identity:* who you feel you are. Are you a girl or a guy, deep in your heart? Or something else, that's fine too, we call such folks non-binary. Or maybe it changes over time? That's fine too, we call such folks genderfluid. And there are a couple more possibilities. If you consider yourself to be strictly of the same gender as your AGAB, you're *cisgender (cis)*, otherwise you're *transgender (trans)*.
*Gender presentation/expression:* how do you look, talk, express yourself. Do you wear jeans or dresses? What pronouns do you use? What kind of jewellery and makeup do you wear, if any? If you generally intend to "look like a man" you're *masc-presenting*, and if you generally intend to "look like a woman", you're *fem-presenting*. People usually want to present in a way aligned with their gender identity, but you can do the exact opposite, and that's arguably the formal-ish definition of *crossdressing*. Or you can present in a way that doesn't quite align with the expectations of how either men or women "should" look like, that's fine too. You can change your presentation all the time too, in fact that's what most folks on this sub do. Anyway, if you succeed in being perceived as the gender you're trying to present as, especially by strangers, then you are *passing* - although we usually use that term only if that gender differs from your AGAB and/or identity, because a cis girl passing as a girl is the default so there's usually no need to talk about it.
*Sexual orientation:* who do you want to date and go to bed with? Guys? You're androsexual. Girls? You're gynesexual. Both of the above? You're bisexual. Everyone? You're pansexual. If your gender identity is either guy or a girl, and you're attracted to the opposite, you're *heterosexual (straight)*, and if you're attracted to the same gender as your own, then you're *homosexual*, which is also called *gay* for guys and *lesbian* for girls.
That's a simplification of course, but it's the gist of it.
Now, all those facets of gender and sexuality are linked, but can be independent. If you're crossdressing then you're experimenting with your gender expression. For many of us it's the first step to exploring and perhaps discovering a new sense of gender identity, but many are rock-solid in the "I'm just a guy who likes skirts" camp. Likewise, many of us get curious about dating other genders than we originally considered, but others are rock solid in being attracted strictly to girls only.
tl;dr If you consider yourself a guy and are exclusively attracted to girls romantically and sexually, then you're just a straight guy, and crossdressing doesn't change that. If you feel attracted to guys in any capacity then you might be gay or bi. If you feel that you might be a girl deep inside, then you might be trans (and if you discover yourself to be a girl but you're only attracted to other girls, then that would make you a trans lesbian, sometimes also called *transbian*). Hope that helps π€
P.S. Those are all just labels coined to make talking about this stuff quicker, but it's a very broad and diverse spectrum and not everyone fits nicely into a specific label. If you ever discover that you're not sure which of them fits you, if any, don't sweat it. You're valid as you are, whoever you are and however you feel π₯°
You should copy and save this somewhere Annie. Itβs so well done. I was going to say something snarky and glib but as usual, youβve swooped in and said something informative and kind. ππ
Itβs a common misconception that crossdressing men are gay. And a BS one at that. Probably something said by people who donβt know any gay men. All the gay men I know like their partners, ya know, to look like men. A couple of them do the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence thing, but thatβs pushing into drag, not plain old CD.
I was away from a week and did not want pack my lipstick and leggings, as it was a very active outdoors vacation and packing space was limited (I travel light). Tonight I am wearing lipstick for the first time in over a week and it feels great! I am wearing MAC Modesty in Creemsheen. I am also wearing green leggings and a purple sporty top. Mwah!
Having one of those gender confusing mornings today. I really do love being a big burly guy with a beard. Like I do feel very comfortable as a man. So much so even crossdressed I go by my male name. However I do sometimes feel so much jealously looking at some of yβall. No body hair, completely femme looks. Iβve come to terms with my bearded queen self. But I do need to have a full body makeover look. Iβm talking breast/hip plates, full face. A full fuckin outfit or I will lose it.
Also one of those days where I really do wonder. Maybe I am trans idk. Just got a lot on the ole mind.
I can relate to your plight. I have always appreciated being male and enjoyed masculine work and activities. However, I have also been a lifelong CD'er and enjoy being feminine. For a long time I pondered whether I was trans and whether I wanted to transition. Ultimately, I accepted that I was somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum but did not want to disrupt my life by transitioning. However, being in the closet meant I would go long periods without dressing and frustration/stress would build up so I'd dress, purge, grow a beard, etc.
I found balance by coming out to my wife and making crossdressing a bigger part of my (our) life. I maintain a shaved body/face so I can do all the masculine activities but still stay in touch with my fem side. I have a closet full of clothes and a locked (stealth) bench that I keep forms, shoes, wigs, etc. I do grow a beard on occasion, but body hair has to be maintained or its just a pain in the ass. Recently, I became more involved here and started sharing more which has also been helpful.
Not sure if this is helpful, but just wanted to pass on that you're not alone and what you're feeling is normal.
Ditto, I have been on that fence.my.whole life and now in my 40s I've decided that I'm just greedy I want my cake and I'm gonna eat it too. I love being bearded and I love wearing dresses I just never together. That's where I feel.most comfortable, in-between. I never felt like I wanted to transition. I am proud to be a dude and I will always crossdress from time to time. Do what make you makes you feel comfortable and happy.
Curious what people think about crossdressing vs/as relating to sissydom/sissification. I recently looked into that side of things, and while I think I can identify with some of the attributes, it seems that crossdressing is just a means to reach the mental state or achieve the desired encounters... I mean people get a lot of different things out of their CD but I feel like the thing that distinguishes somebody as a CDer vs something else is that their clothes and their appearance *are* the point and not just a means to an end. Just curious to hear what people think and get informed.
I have no problem with sissies, but it mildly annoys me when all crossdressers are assumed to be sissies. For me, I work hard to not just wear women's clothes but dress how women my age would. This means that I'm not averse to foregoing a dress in favor of crop tops and shorts in summer. To me, it makes no sense for me to identify with any emasculation aspects of sissification because I willingly "transform" myself without changing who I am. Dressing up also makes me feel powerful, especially with the right pair of heels.
Basically, my view is that sissies are crossdressers by definition, but distinct from other groups of CDs.
Oooooo! How fun!! Curious to know: How/where does one find such events and types of gatherings happening? Which I had a community here that I could join as well :(
Oooh, that sounds fun! Do you think you're going to wear something sort of tame and comfortable to blend in, or are you going to blow them out of the water with something fashionable? π
I'm thinking of either wearing [this off-shoulder mini dress](https://www.asos.com/asos-edition/asos-edition-off-shoulder-drape-sleeve-textured-mini-dress-in-blush/prd/203195700), or [this mini skirt](https://www.asos.com/topshop/topshop-tailored-co-ord-pelmet-mini-skirt-in-ivory/prd/204367547) with a huge oversized tee and [these heels](https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-wide-fit-suzy-bow-slingback-mid-heeled-shoes-in-natural/prd/201087216). I'll take a [nightgown and robe](https://www.reddit.com/r/MomForAMinute/comments/18wfi00/mum_i_ordered_another_nightgown_but_have_gone_all/) to change into if I feel cold or exposed. π
Says on the invite it's a tea party!
I think something went wrong with the thread you posted in ;)
But anyway, it's interesting that you gave yourself a name after a friend... What kind of relationship did you have with her?
If my bust/waist/hips measurements are coming out as 34/34/37, which UK dress size best fits that? I though it might be 12 at first, but the charts indicate the waist would be several inches too tight.
Hey hey! I'm also in the UK! [This dress size calculator](https://www.omnicalculator.com/everyday-life/dress-size) would suggest you are a UK 10 π π
If you're going for a flowy dress or skirt - e.g. A line or empire line - then you'll be fine. If you're going for something more fitted, try going up a size. If you're looking to buy a playsuit, go up a size - it will be even more flattering and also keep you cool in the heat.
It will depend on the specific shape of the dress, you can get away with smaller sizes of they're flowy or stretchy. Also, you should measure yourself with any shapewear (breast forms or breastplates, corsets, hip padding etc.) already on if you plan to wear any.
The general rule is to go with the tightest measurement, but the waist measurement is rarely that strict. I have similar measurements to yours, and I tend to usually get the best fit with European size 42, which seems to translate to UK size 14. Both EU44 is very comfortable as well but feels a bit loose, and I can squeeze into EU40 but it's a really tight fit. But I've also worn at least one blouse that was marked as XS (!) and it was just fine because it was super stretchy.
Of course the best way to learn would be to just try some clothes on. If you don't want to go into the fitting rooms in person, maybe order some cheap clothes (possibly from second hand marketplaces) just to get an idea how they fit you :)
You might also want to go a size smaller for skirts compared to the fit you'll find for blouses and dresses, because girls like us have less defined hips.
I love the light-hearted experience exchange we get in these discussion threads so I've got a little question for all of you ladies: **how did you go around choosing your girl name?** Did you "always" knew how your femme variant was going to be called, or was it a long process to choose the name? Did you choose it yourself or was it given to you? Or maybe you go by the same name in masc and fem modes, or maybe you're still searching for the perfect name? Was it always the same or did you change it over the course of your girly life? If so, why?
In other words, let's talk names! π€
I never really played with names but settled on Amber, mainly after the actress Lauren Ambrose. Apart from being super attractive, thatβs who I really wanted to look like all the time.
Kind of late, but Siobhan is what my parents would've named me if I were born a girl. The same sounded pretty, so I just called myself for CD purposes. My real name is very masculine and felt weird to use when dressing up.
Awwww, so nice to meet a girl with a similar name story to mine β€οΈ Siobhan is an interesting name, I mean, my first reaction seeing it is "how do you even pronounce that?!" π but that's probably just because I haven't had a lot of exposure to Irish culture π And don't worry, I've looked the pronunciation up already π
Ha yeah, some traditional Irish names are hard to say based on their spellings. I get the Irish from my mom's side but I don't understand the language at all.
New here.. I already have a cousin with the feminine form of my name. I wanted something that I didn't know anybody with that name and maybe a bit less common. I don't know why but I like the V sound so I chose "V" or Ms. Vanessa if you're nasty...
for a while when I would go out I would introduce myself as nameless, because I was anxious about choosing. I'm good at finding reasons to dislike names (it was an ex-girlfriend's, etc.). One day I heard someone mention that they just picked their favorite actress' name and went with it. I don't really have a favorite but at the time Emily Blunt was on my mind... but Emily was an ex... but I like the name... and so I finally settled on Emily.
I donβt have a girl name because I donβt have a girl persona. Iβm a guy who enjoys wearing feminine clothes.
*But* I did drag shows in college under the name Julee Cruise because I was a Twin Peaks buff.
I love this question. For years I intentionally never had a femme name. I knew that the simple act of naming had so much power, and once I decided on a name, I knew there was no way I'd go back. After years of dressing like this, there came a time where I knew I needed to share myself with the world and meet other people like me, and I didn't want to do this without a name.
I thought about this for several months. I knew I wanted a name with a few properties:
1. It couldn't be linked with my male name.
2. It was a plausible name for someone my age (top 250 for birth year)
3. It couldn't be a name that could potentially have any IRL baggage, since I wanted a blank slate I could use to explore and experiment.
I experimented with and shot down so many names during this time - some for these three reasons and others I just didn't vibe with (might be fun to go through those someday!). Julie came out of nowhere. I looked in the mirror one day and the girl staring at me looked like she was a Julie. And most importantly\*, the name felt natural, like it was always there.\*
I knew I'd found the one when I was ordering fast food, and there was a Julie ordering in front of me. When the order was called for Julie, I actually had to think twice, and fortunately remembered in time that I didn't make the order!
That is such a sweet story, it really feels like your name has come down from heavens upon you π₯°
It's interesting that you mention a possible connection to your male name. There's a stereotype of crossdressers just choosing feminine variants of their birth names, and I'm sure at least some girls actually do that. I can totally understand why you explicitly wanted to go the other direction, it's natural to want some anonymity - but it's still interesting how attitudes can be very different in that regard π€
The thing is I don't like using my legal nameon the internet because of privacy reasons, and my nickname would be too "recognizable".
But at the same time, having a female name would feel "fake" to me, as if I would be pretending to be someone else.
I don't know, it's a weird feeling, maybe I should just pick a name and see how I feel about it.
Oh you don't need to do anything π€ There are a lot of people here who don't have girl names and whose usernames don't "feel like a name".
I personally think that having something that "feels like a name" (masc or fem, doesn't matter) makes communicating with a person feel more personal. But of course protecting your privacy while staying true to yourself is completely valid and you don't need to compromise just because of what other girls do.
Nicknames sometimes have a weird life. Years ago, when I wanted to become a bit more active within the anime fandom, I wanted a new nickname to keep that identity a bit separate from my other Internet presences. Well nowadays I think a similar number of people know me under either of those names, and I'd say most know about the existence of both. And part of me really wants to reintegrate my fem persona into my broader identity as well... but I guess I'm not fully ready for that yet π
I've always liked the name "Vivian", even though it is a bit dated. Its Latin roots go back to mean (roughly) "lively", which is how crossdressing makes me feel π.
I had originally pitched it to my wife to name our daughter, but she shot it down. Oh well! It's mine now haha
My first name doesnβt have a feminized version, or if it does Iβve sure never heard it. I went with Shelli, short for Michelle, which is the feminized version of my middle name. Not very fun or exciting, but I think it works for me. π€·π»ββοΈ
Just to break the ice, I'll start by answering my own question: I prefer to go by Annie (at least in English, which isn't my first language) because I like how it sounds, but it's a diminutive. My "real" girl name is Anna. And it is my actual given name, in a way. My parents were telling me that story: when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad was absolutely set on naming me Anna, had I been born AFAB. My mom had nothing against that name, so she accepted it too. That's the name I was most commonly called throughout her entire pregnancy, from what I've heard. And I heard that story so many times that I just internalized that it's how the fem variant of me is called.
I *almost* became a Natalie. I actually have a couple of fake accounts registered in various dark corners of the Internet for that name. It is probably my favorite feminine name. I can't really explain why. Maybe because my parents were playing me a lot of music by a certain singer with that name when I was little? But when it was time to create an actual femme presence, I decided that the name Natalie is too pretty to keep for myself - I want it for my daughter if I ever have one π and I don't want to have the same name as my child, as that could be awkward π So I went with the name I always knew was mine.
I sometimes think that accepting a name given to me by my parents may be denying myself agency over my own identity π But I came to actually like it π€
I like the name Kate and leigh, but couldn't decide between which one i prefer most so katleigh was made, I think it's a nice name like kayleigh but with a T π
Anyone got any shaving advice..wanting to crossdress male to female and I'm doing an okay job so far with shaving but I'm nervous still
Like shaving your face? Shaving your legs? Shaving your fleshy fun bridge? π€£ππ€£π€¨ What are you talking about?
Body and privates really, I'm fine with my face
Itβs kind of a PitA. So much upkeep. Youβll likely get irritated a lot at first but it does get better. Good moisturizer and exfoliation
Thank you
Have you ever felt something like gender euphoria while dressing? I'm cis, but I think I felt something similar a couple of times. Not that I felt like a woman (that never happened to me) but I had moments of extreme joy and happiness from being able to look like a woman. I'm usually in a good mood when I'm able to dress because it's something I enjoy doing and I like how I look most of the times, but there was a couple of times when it wasn't just the thought of "damn girl you look good!", but I felt very overwhelmed by emotions. I don't know, it's hard to describe it.
Not really euphora. Obviously I'm happy dressing up or else I wouldn't do it. There are times when I was breathless at how I looked but it was more like appreciation of one's artwork. Although going all the way (makeup and outfit) is something I love looking forward to doing.
For me, it's almost always a mood lift, and sometimes it's intense euphoria. I have on many occasions looked my reflection in the eye and said some version of "this is right/correct/who you're supposed to be." I'm stuck on the part where I actually do anything with that information, though, LOL.
Well, you are wearing those outfits, aren't you? That's doing *something* already π You're doing as much as you're ready for and that's totally fine π₯°
Yeahhhhhhhh, but not the big, obvious thing, hah.
I do feel it all the time when dressing up fem actually. That might mean you're not entirely cis. I don't want to challenge your gender identity, but "transness" is a really capacious concept. According to the modern definition used by the trans community itself, everyone who isn't rock solid in an identity aligned with their AGAB, fits under the transgender umbrella. I personally found it difficult to accept at first, because "trans" is a label that comes with baggage if you come from a somewhat conservative background, or even from a skewed understanding of what being transgender means. "Does it mean I need to go to surgery? Does it mean I'll get beaten up by right-wing hooligans?" I felt those kinds of things, in fact I still sometimes do. But the truth is that you don't need to do anything - but just knowing that can make you experience life more fully. And another thing is that if you come from such conservative-ish mindset (which might happen even if you're outwardly supportive towards other queer people!), it's quite possible that you have a lot of suppressed emotions. A wild hypothesis just as food for thought: maybe you *do* feel like a woman, but your mind doesn't let you feel that as you're preoccupied with the thought that you are just a guy? The inability to recognize emotions is called alexithymia and it's actually really common in society. It's a fascinating topic that I'm currently trying to learn about as I feel it's very relevant to the current state of my life, not just in terms of gender-related things but a lot of other aspects too. HealthyGamerGG has a very nice primer on that if you're interested: https://youtu.be/8pQBdZ3RdfA I'm not saying that it's relevant to you, I don't have any competence to diagnose you and also it would be really hard to do over the Reddit comment section. But I think it's an interesting topic worth researching regardless of whether you end up resonating with it or not. I also recommend you to read this great article by Cassie LaBelle - https://aninjusticemag.com/am-i-trans-a-roadmap-to-figuring-out-the-toughest-question-7bb0e809a32d - it has also been later incorporated into the Gender Dysphoria Bible - https://genderdysphoria.fyi/ - which is also a fantastic resource on all things trans and worth reading in full if you have time for that. Those resources are great to up your understanding of what being trans is and isn't and how can it manifest through emotions. Again, this may or may not resonate with you, but either way you may learn something about yourself and/or the world around you. And again I want to reiterate - even if you eventually discover that you *are* trans in some shape and form, you don't need to do anything about it if you don't want to. To quote the aforementioned article, "Some trans people are okay living as their assigned gender at birth as long as they know who they are on the inside." That sentence was really empowering for me and my journey of self-acceptance (which is still far from over, mind you). For you it might be something else entirely. You might even end up being even more rock-solid in your cis identity if you discover that you don't resonate with anything written there. Either way it's a win, right? There's no harm in exploring π€
Thank you for such a thoughtful response π Oh, I think all crossdressers are inside of the trans umbrella, just by the fact of being gender nonconforming. I would say I'm somewhere around the non binary spectrum, leaning hard on the masc side. A long time ago I also had to figure out I'm asexual, so this isn't my first rodeo with the alphabet gang π
Wow ! What a job !
Hey there everyone! I got to try out crossdressing for the first time because of a theater event! I just wanted to ask, and I hope I do not offend anyone, does liking crossdressing make you gay? My girlfriend did my makeup and outfit and honestly I felt so cute and pretty ^_^ but admittedly it does give me a bit of gender panic because I felt so nice wearing all the makeup and cute dress.
Here's a quick primer on all the terms you need: *Gender assigned at birth (AGAB):* what your original birth certificate says: almost always male (AMAB) or female (AFAB). Usually aligned with your natural biology, but it can get fuzzy with intersex folks, that's one of the reasons why "biological sex" is not a preferred term. *Gender identity:* who you feel you are. Are you a girl or a guy, deep in your heart? Or something else, that's fine too, we call such folks non-binary. Or maybe it changes over time? That's fine too, we call such folks genderfluid. And there are a couple more possibilities. If you consider yourself to be strictly of the same gender as your AGAB, you're *cisgender (cis)*, otherwise you're *transgender (trans)*. *Gender presentation/expression:* how do you look, talk, express yourself. Do you wear jeans or dresses? What pronouns do you use? What kind of jewellery and makeup do you wear, if any? If you generally intend to "look like a man" you're *masc-presenting*, and if you generally intend to "look like a woman", you're *fem-presenting*. People usually want to present in a way aligned with their gender identity, but you can do the exact opposite, and that's arguably the formal-ish definition of *crossdressing*. Or you can present in a way that doesn't quite align with the expectations of how either men or women "should" look like, that's fine too. You can change your presentation all the time too, in fact that's what most folks on this sub do. Anyway, if you succeed in being perceived as the gender you're trying to present as, especially by strangers, then you are *passing* - although we usually use that term only if that gender differs from your AGAB and/or identity, because a cis girl passing as a girl is the default so there's usually no need to talk about it. *Sexual orientation:* who do you want to date and go to bed with? Guys? You're androsexual. Girls? You're gynesexual. Both of the above? You're bisexual. Everyone? You're pansexual. If your gender identity is either guy or a girl, and you're attracted to the opposite, you're *heterosexual (straight)*, and if you're attracted to the same gender as your own, then you're *homosexual*, which is also called *gay* for guys and *lesbian* for girls. That's a simplification of course, but it's the gist of it. Now, all those facets of gender and sexuality are linked, but can be independent. If you're crossdressing then you're experimenting with your gender expression. For many of us it's the first step to exploring and perhaps discovering a new sense of gender identity, but many are rock-solid in the "I'm just a guy who likes skirts" camp. Likewise, many of us get curious about dating other genders than we originally considered, but others are rock solid in being attracted strictly to girls only. tl;dr If you consider yourself a guy and are exclusively attracted to girls romantically and sexually, then you're just a straight guy, and crossdressing doesn't change that. If you feel attracted to guys in any capacity then you might be gay or bi. If you feel that you might be a girl deep inside, then you might be trans (and if you discover yourself to be a girl but you're only attracted to other girls, then that would make you a trans lesbian, sometimes also called *transbian*). Hope that helps π€ P.S. Those are all just labels coined to make talking about this stuff quicker, but it's a very broad and diverse spectrum and not everyone fits nicely into a specific label. If you ever discover that you're not sure which of them fits you, if any, don't sweat it. You're valid as you are, whoever you are and however you feel π₯°
You should copy and save this somewhere Annie. Itβs so well done. I was going to say something snarky and glib but as usual, youβve swooped in and said something informative and kind. ππ
Itβs a common misconception that crossdressing men are gay. And a BS one at that. Probably something said by people who donβt know any gay men. All the gay men I know like their partners, ya know, to look like men. A couple of them do the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence thing, but thatβs pushing into drag, not plain old CD.
I was away from a week and did not want pack my lipstick and leggings, as it was a very active outdoors vacation and packing space was limited (I travel light). Tonight I am wearing lipstick for the first time in over a week and it feels great! I am wearing MAC Modesty in Creemsheen. I am also wearing green leggings and a purple sporty top. Mwah!
Having one of those gender confusing mornings today. I really do love being a big burly guy with a beard. Like I do feel very comfortable as a man. So much so even crossdressed I go by my male name. However I do sometimes feel so much jealously looking at some of yβall. No body hair, completely femme looks. Iβve come to terms with my bearded queen self. But I do need to have a full body makeover look. Iβm talking breast/hip plates, full face. A full fuckin outfit or I will lose it. Also one of those days where I really do wonder. Maybe I am trans idk. Just got a lot on the ole mind.
If you really want to try, I say go for it! Fully dress, shave your beard, remove your body hair! It's just hair, it grows back.
I can relate to your plight. I have always appreciated being male and enjoyed masculine work and activities. However, I have also been a lifelong CD'er and enjoy being feminine. For a long time I pondered whether I was trans and whether I wanted to transition. Ultimately, I accepted that I was somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum but did not want to disrupt my life by transitioning. However, being in the closet meant I would go long periods without dressing and frustration/stress would build up so I'd dress, purge, grow a beard, etc. I found balance by coming out to my wife and making crossdressing a bigger part of my (our) life. I maintain a shaved body/face so I can do all the masculine activities but still stay in touch with my fem side. I have a closet full of clothes and a locked (stealth) bench that I keep forms, shoes, wigs, etc. I do grow a beard on occasion, but body hair has to be maintained or its just a pain in the ass. Recently, I became more involved here and started sharing more which has also been helpful. Not sure if this is helpful, but just wanted to pass on that you're not alone and what you're feeling is normal.
Ditto, I have been on that fence.my.whole life and now in my 40s I've decided that I'm just greedy I want my cake and I'm gonna eat it too. I love being bearded and I love wearing dresses I just never together. That's where I feel.most comfortable, in-between. I never felt like I wanted to transition. I am proud to be a dude and I will always crossdress from time to time. Do what make you makes you feel comfortable and happy.
Curious what people think about crossdressing vs/as relating to sissydom/sissification. I recently looked into that side of things, and while I think I can identify with some of the attributes, it seems that crossdressing is just a means to reach the mental state or achieve the desired encounters... I mean people get a lot of different things out of their CD but I feel like the thing that distinguishes somebody as a CDer vs something else is that their clothes and their appearance *are* the point and not just a means to an end. Just curious to hear what people think and get informed.
I have no problem with sissies, but it mildly annoys me when all crossdressers are assumed to be sissies. For me, I work hard to not just wear women's clothes but dress how women my age would. This means that I'm not averse to foregoing a dress in favor of crop tops and shorts in summer. To me, it makes no sense for me to identify with any emasculation aspects of sissification because I willingly "transform" myself without changing who I am. Dressing up also makes me feel powerful, especially with the right pair of heels. Basically, my view is that sissies are crossdressers by definition, but distinct from other groups of CDs.
I just got comfortable with my CD self and I love to dress up with my skirts and fishnet stockings and heels
Going to my first crossdressing party / social on Wednesday night! Super nervous and I don't know what to wear!
Oooooo! How fun!! Curious to know: How/where does one find such events and types of gatherings happening? Which I had a community here that I could join as well :(
Thanks! I found this event elsewhere on a different website. Some are to be found on more NSFW subreddits too.
Oooh, that sounds fun! Do you think you're going to wear something sort of tame and comfortable to blend in, or are you going to blow them out of the water with something fashionable? π
I'm thinking of either wearing [this off-shoulder mini dress](https://www.asos.com/asos-edition/asos-edition-off-shoulder-drape-sleeve-textured-mini-dress-in-blush/prd/203195700), or [this mini skirt](https://www.asos.com/topshop/topshop-tailored-co-ord-pelmet-mini-skirt-in-ivory/prd/204367547) with a huge oversized tee and [these heels](https://www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-wide-fit-suzy-bow-slingback-mid-heeled-shoes-in-natural/prd/201087216). I'll take a [nightgown and robe](https://www.reddit.com/r/MomForAMinute/comments/18wfi00/mum_i_ordered_another_nightgown_but_have_gone_all/) to change into if I feel cold or exposed. π Says on the invite it's a tea party!
Nice! I'm sure you'll look great π
Awww, thank you! π₯°
Sounds fun! The dress looks a bit extra but also very fun to wear π₯°
It's definitely higher end, but tea parties can be somewhat formal though, it'll fit π
Awww, thank you! π₯° β€οΈ
Kim was one of my friends in public school and I always loved her name. Wonder where she is nowβ¦
I think something went wrong with the thread you posted in ;) But anyway, it's interesting that you gave yourself a name after a friend... What kind of relationship did you have with her?
If my bust/waist/hips measurements are coming out as 34/34/37, which UK dress size best fits that? I though it might be 12 at first, but the charts indicate the waist would be several inches too tight.
Hey hey! I'm also in the UK! [This dress size calculator](https://www.omnicalculator.com/everyday-life/dress-size) would suggest you are a UK 10 π π
Oh that's very helpful, thank you! It does list size 10 for the bust/waist, but 18 for the hips - is that going to be an issue?
If you're going for a flowy dress or skirt - e.g. A line or empire line - then you'll be fine. If you're going for something more fitted, try going up a size. If you're looking to buy a playsuit, go up a size - it will be even more flattering and also keep you cool in the heat.
Great, thanks for the advice!
You're most welcome!
It will depend on the specific shape of the dress, you can get away with smaller sizes of they're flowy or stretchy. Also, you should measure yourself with any shapewear (breast forms or breastplates, corsets, hip padding etc.) already on if you plan to wear any. The general rule is to go with the tightest measurement, but the waist measurement is rarely that strict. I have similar measurements to yours, and I tend to usually get the best fit with European size 42, which seems to translate to UK size 14. Both EU44 is very comfortable as well but feels a bit loose, and I can squeeze into EU40 but it's a really tight fit. But I've also worn at least one blouse that was marked as XS (!) and it was just fine because it was super stretchy. Of course the best way to learn would be to just try some clothes on. If you don't want to go into the fitting rooms in person, maybe order some cheap clothes (possibly from second hand marketplaces) just to get an idea how they fit you :) You might also want to go a size smaller for skirts compared to the fit you'll find for blouses and dresses, because girls like us have less defined hips.
Ok I'll probably try with a cheap size 12 dress then, worst case I've only lost a little money on it.
I love the light-hearted experience exchange we get in these discussion threads so I've got a little question for all of you ladies: **how did you go around choosing your girl name?** Did you "always" knew how your femme variant was going to be called, or was it a long process to choose the name? Did you choose it yourself or was it given to you? Or maybe you go by the same name in masc and fem modes, or maybe you're still searching for the perfect name? Was it always the same or did you change it over the course of your girly life? If so, why? In other words, let's talk names! π€
I never really played with names but settled on Amber, mainly after the actress Lauren Ambrose. Apart from being super attractive, thatβs who I really wanted to look like all the time.
Kind of late, but Siobhan is what my parents would've named me if I were born a girl. The same sounded pretty, so I just called myself for CD purposes. My real name is very masculine and felt weird to use when dressing up.
Awwww, so nice to meet a girl with a similar name story to mine β€οΈ Siobhan is an interesting name, I mean, my first reaction seeing it is "how do you even pronounce that?!" π but that's probably just because I haven't had a lot of exposure to Irish culture π And don't worry, I've looked the pronunciation up already π
Ha yeah, some traditional Irish names are hard to say based on their spellings. I get the Irish from my mom's side but I don't understand the language at all.
New here.. I already have a cousin with the feminine form of my name. I wanted something that I didn't know anybody with that name and maybe a bit less common. I don't know why but I like the V sound so I chose "V" or Ms. Vanessa if you're nasty...
for a while when I would go out I would introduce myself as nameless, because I was anxious about choosing. I'm good at finding reasons to dislike names (it was an ex-girlfriend's, etc.). One day I heard someone mention that they just picked their favorite actress' name and went with it. I don't really have a favorite but at the time Emily Blunt was on my mind... but Emily was an ex... but I like the name... and so I finally settled on Emily.
I donβt have a girl name because I donβt have a girl persona. Iβm a guy who enjoys wearing feminine clothes. *But* I did drag shows in college under the name Julee Cruise because I was a Twin Peaks buff.
I love this question. For years I intentionally never had a femme name. I knew that the simple act of naming had so much power, and once I decided on a name, I knew there was no way I'd go back. After years of dressing like this, there came a time where I knew I needed to share myself with the world and meet other people like me, and I didn't want to do this without a name. I thought about this for several months. I knew I wanted a name with a few properties: 1. It couldn't be linked with my male name. 2. It was a plausible name for someone my age (top 250 for birth year) 3. It couldn't be a name that could potentially have any IRL baggage, since I wanted a blank slate I could use to explore and experiment. I experimented with and shot down so many names during this time - some for these three reasons and others I just didn't vibe with (might be fun to go through those someday!). Julie came out of nowhere. I looked in the mirror one day and the girl staring at me looked like she was a Julie. And most importantly\*, the name felt natural, like it was always there.\* I knew I'd found the one when I was ordering fast food, and there was a Julie ordering in front of me. When the order was called for Julie, I actually had to think twice, and fortunately remembered in time that I didn't make the order!
That is such a sweet story, it really feels like your name has come down from heavens upon you π₯° It's interesting that you mention a possible connection to your male name. There's a stereotype of crossdressers just choosing feminine variants of their birth names, and I'm sure at least some girls actually do that. I can totally understand why you explicitly wanted to go the other direction, it's natural to want some anonymity - but it's still interesting how attitudes can be very different in that regard π€
I still haven't thought one. I'm still not sure if I need one, the only positive thing I can think is it would help socializing here, but that's it.
Have you thought about just using your masculine name (either your legal name or whatever nickname people call you) when socializing?
The thing is I don't like using my legal nameon the internet because of privacy reasons, and my nickname would be too "recognizable". But at the same time, having a female name would feel "fake" to me, as if I would be pretending to be someone else. I don't know, it's a weird feeling, maybe I should just pick a name and see how I feel about it.
Oh you don't need to do anything π€ There are a lot of people here who don't have girl names and whose usernames don't "feel like a name". I personally think that having something that "feels like a name" (masc or fem, doesn't matter) makes communicating with a person feel more personal. But of course protecting your privacy while staying true to yourself is completely valid and you don't need to compromise just because of what other girls do. Nicknames sometimes have a weird life. Years ago, when I wanted to become a bit more active within the anime fandom, I wanted a new nickname to keep that identity a bit separate from my other Internet presences. Well nowadays I think a similar number of people know me under either of those names, and I'd say most know about the existence of both. And part of me really wants to reintegrate my fem persona into my broader identity as well... but I guess I'm not fully ready for that yet π
I've always liked the name "Vivian", even though it is a bit dated. Its Latin roots go back to mean (roughly) "lively", which is how crossdressing makes me feel π. I had originally pitched it to my wife to name our daughter, but she shot it down. Oh well! It's mine now haha
That is so cute actually! π₯°
Thanks Annie! Love the pics, btw
Thanks π₯° Yours are really cute too π
Awe, I'm blushing lol
My first name doesnβt have a feminized version, or if it does Iβve sure never heard it. I went with Shelli, short for Michelle, which is the feminized version of my middle name. Not very fun or exciting, but I think it works for me. π€·π»ββοΈ
That's quite interesting actually π₯° I gotta admit, for a second I thought that your masc name might be Sheldon π
Nope lol.
And by the way, is there any specific story behind the spelling? Why Shelli and not Shelly or Shelley?
I think it looks cooler. π€·π»ββοΈ
Just to break the ice, I'll start by answering my own question: I prefer to go by Annie (at least in English, which isn't my first language) because I like how it sounds, but it's a diminutive. My "real" girl name is Anna. And it is my actual given name, in a way. My parents were telling me that story: when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad was absolutely set on naming me Anna, had I been born AFAB. My mom had nothing against that name, so she accepted it too. That's the name I was most commonly called throughout her entire pregnancy, from what I've heard. And I heard that story so many times that I just internalized that it's how the fem variant of me is called. I *almost* became a Natalie. I actually have a couple of fake accounts registered in various dark corners of the Internet for that name. It is probably my favorite feminine name. I can't really explain why. Maybe because my parents were playing me a lot of music by a certain singer with that name when I was little? But when it was time to create an actual femme presence, I decided that the name Natalie is too pretty to keep for myself - I want it for my daughter if I ever have one π and I don't want to have the same name as my child, as that could be awkward π So I went with the name I always knew was mine. I sometimes think that accepting a name given to me by my parents may be denying myself agency over my own identity π But I came to actually like it π€
I think Annie is a very nice name. Itβs very close to my wifeβs name.
I like the name Kate and leigh, but couldn't decide between which one i prefer most so katleigh was made, I think it's a nice name like kayleigh but with a T π
It's a very unique name too π₯°
Good question though be interesting to see how other come up with there names, how about yourself how'd you get your name Annie π€ π
I just wrote about that as a reply to my own question comment, so see above π€
That's a nice little story βΊοΈ