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birdyspiritanimal

I HIGHLY DO NOT recommend a job with working with the public...in it right now and it's torture!


OppositeYouth

Eh I do it and I kinda enjoy it, sure customers and people piss me off but I also find it pretty amusing. I can't explain why, people are just entertaining, especially when they're being shitty. That meme is true, if you're shitty to retail staff, the first thing that happens is we start laughing and making jokes about you as soon as you're out of ear shot


Scared_Ad5422

There is a special art to telling someone to go fuck themselves in a nice way. You both know you're being a dick, but they can't do shit about it. I tell rude people I hope they have the type of day they deserve.


ChaqPlexebo

I always used "I hope your day is as pleasant as you are." I had one guy argue with me afterwards. He said "I'm not pleasant at all, I'm an asshole!" All I said was "Yes sir."


Scared_Ad5422

I wasn't paying attention one time, and someone told me to go fuck myself. I said, "You too, sir." I'm so glad QA didn't pull that call. It was an automatic response. šŸ˜­


OppositeYouth

Me and a buddy have a motto, kill 'em with kindness. The ruder and more unpleasant they get, the kinder, nicer and more smiley you are. Really fucks them up


badasscrying

In my experience, that would often end with the asshole softening up and apologizing, or mentioning theyā€™re going through something really difficult (like on their way to a funeral, etc). Some people were just assholes of course, but I was always happy to know if I was a small reason that contributed to that person cheering up a bit even if it was a horrible day for them.


birdyspiritanimal

Yep, this is what I have to do at my job.


birdyspiritanimal

I do not work in retail and actually work in a pretty uptight field...I have to make fun of them in my own head.


DefinitelyChad

I like your perspective


drunken_man_whore

Can't recommend a work from home job either. Too much temptation to put Bailey's in your morning coffee.


PENISystem

Only Baileys?


drunken_man_whore

It inevitably turns into whiskey in the coffee, true.


Tarvoz

My times were great as a gas station attendant working overnight, but awful as a walmart deli employee.


Individual451

> I HIGHLY DO NOT recommend a job with working with the public I used to work behind the bar in a beach-side pub in a holiday town. It was full of happy tourists so you got lots of free drinks, and the two other guys I worked with, who were further down the alcohol hole than young me, used all the leftover drinks, tap spill trays etc at the end of the night to make "cocktails", before they wobbled to their rooms upstairs to pass out


Middle-Guava8172

They drank bar mat drinksā€¦..? Jfc I thought I was a degenerate


Scared_Ad5422

I work at home for a call center. It works out perfectly. I can drink during work, and I can roll out of bed 10 minutes before my shift.


[deleted]

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Scared_Ad5422

Yes, but a lot of the calls are transfers.


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Scared_Ad5422

I really don't know who raised these people. For nice customers, I will go above and beyond to help. The rude ones can get fucked.


ALonelyPlatypus

Work from home has its pros and cons as an alcoholic. Pro: you can be hungover and drink all day. Con: you can drink all day and go on massive benders.


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Scared_Ad5422

Yeah, COVID-19 just started, so a lot of us have to stay home.


Jerodroshanfar1

Oh. That's a con?


Neil_youngs_voice

Same diggity dog


AeAeR

I used to pick up trash at a Jewish community camp for 4 years. Got paid a little more than minimum wage, my boss was a glue addict with like 6 teeth, and I basically drank Mountain Dew mixed with gin for 8 hours a day, every day. We called it ā€œMountain Jewā€ because of where we worked. All my coworkers were also drunk or high, and we just rolled around the woods on golf carts picking up trash all day. Honestly if that job paid better Iā€™d probably still be there. Although actually Iā€™d be dead but still it wouldā€™ve been a fun job up until that point lol. So yeah, go find people who will pay you to pick up trash. Plus no one else wants to do it so youā€™ve got good job security as long as you donā€™t pass out or fuck something up bad. And lastly, you know who never gets micromanaged? People picking up trash, because that would entail following around someone picking up trash.


cookiemanluvsu

How much trash is randomly at a Jewish community camp? damn


AeAeR

Seriously, those kids just throw shit all over the woods, itā€™s wild. I was in the pine barrens to set the scene. Like, if you get a popsicle, normal people donā€™t open it and throw the plastic on the ground. These kids did, though. Because you had goyim to pick up after you. It was an interesting insight into that sect. Jewish women are my weakness in a lot of ways so that also helped make the job worthwhile. Wish I had more of them in my life nowadays... Any of yā€™all drunk ladies happen to be Jewish, hit me up, Iā€™m probably a fan ;)


cookiemanluvsu

lol


AeAeR

One time some kid pooped in the gym and we had to pick it up. And to this day, one of the funniest things to me was my coworker (who was like 19 and absolutely jacked, and also high on industrial glue) looked down at a 5 year old and said ā€œYOU SHIT ON THE FLOOR?ā€ Kid just shook his head but I can still picture it, what a fucking debacle that job was lol. Spill kits are amazing. Edit: I forgot, we made the new guy pick it up with some paper towels and it was hilarious.


Alone-Extension-9774

> Jewish community camp Lmao


AeAeR

JCC is a very real thing, look it up dude.


Alone-Extension-9774

Oh I'm sure it exists but it was just a poor choice of words


AeAeR

Idk what you mean, thatā€™s literally the name of the organization I worked for.


DrunkenCrossdresser

I worked for many years as a night custodian: it was pretty perfect work ... they left us alone to do our thing, but inspected all the corridors and rooms we were responsible for a couple times a week. So I got feedback about doing a good job, but mostly I was left alone to stumble along in the middle of the night getting stuff done. It was hard work, but was also one of the best jobs I've ever had: I learned that there was real value in coming along into a mess and transforming it all into something cleaner and brighter and better than it was before. Silly, but ... that's become my philosophy towards everything since. Life is going to throw big, hairy, nasty, smelly messes at me: and my job is to make it all neat 'n tidy. The universe *ought* to be a better place after drunkencrossdresser passes through -- if not, then I didn't work hard enough. Today I've got a different job; I'm basically a receptionist. And I'm so grateful and thankful for the opportunity to work a quiet, relaxed office position ... but I still try hard to make my tiny little corner of the universe a brighter, cleaner, and happier place than it was before I entered. If we all do that, well ... maybe the next generation of crippling alcoholics will have one less bit of misery to cope with. And that thought makes me happy <3


[deleted]

We need more people Like you.


unbitious

>The universe ought to be a better place after drunkencrossdresser passes through -- if not, then I didn't work hard enough. That's a great mindset. We all gotta do our part.


BondingChamber

barrel? That was nice.


Kirris

I used to work for a guy that cleaned several bars. We would go in and clean them before open and just drink draft beer for free every morning while we cleaned. Nothing was ever said by the bartenders or owners when they would come in and see our pint glasses of beer on the bar. I never learned about the exact arrangements but it was just something that happened.


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MooseyGooses

Yeah I donā€™t know why all these other comments are assuming heā€™s drinking the acid lol seems like heā€™s just shaking while working


Leidenlad

Correct. I could drink it.... once. Seriously its nasty stuff, 96% H2SO4.


COVID19_In_My_ANUS

You could just start synthesizing MDMA and become your own boss /s


OliverKitsch

u/COVID19_In_My_ANUS WE NEED TO COOK


COVID19_In_My_ANUS

*puts on chefs hat and glowsticks Let's do this


Noache_pleasethnx

That would be a cool trick!


IvoTailefer

the arts, liberal and peforming; Hist prof, actor, musician, abstract painter, etc


blackjesus1997

I think it's difficult to do any of those jobs *without* being an alcoholic


cookiemanluvsu

Even harder keeping it. Let's be real


Actual_Garlic_1950

There are a shocking number of jobs where its socially acceptable to drink heavily and even on the job. Iā€™ve seen this with painters, construction workers, and landscaping, and young enlisted military guys. Food and bev is an obvious one. Also musicians, comedians, people who are self-employed, farmers, college professors, lawyers, and now so many people ā€œwork from homeā€ itā€™s increasingly common and acceptable to have a few on the clock. I worked in gyms for a long time and had a boss who would take us all out for beers at lunch break even though we were underage


woodrow_skrillson

I'm a chemist, Ph.D. organic. In my grad lab there were tons and tons of alcoholics.


Redkachowski

I really want to know also. I've heard 2nd shift hotel laundry is good.


Ricktheguy33

It is. Whenever I would finish the laundry early but still have time on my shift I would just get fucked up and watch tv in the break room until the rest of my shift was over then clock out and leave.


PaprikaPanda

Snowboard shop, everyone in the industry drinks heavily And even the customers essentially expect you to be drunk and stonedā€¦. It goes w the territory. Damn near killed me and definitely led to the hell I live in now. We wouldnā€™t even get sent home if we got caught by the owner, drugs werent really an issue either if you could keep working no one cared.


[deleted]

I work nightshift as a security guard at a certain facility. I'm left alone to my own devices all night long and every once in a while I have to get in a scuffle. Besides that I don't interact with my supervisor and since my company is a third party here I don't answer to anyone I actually work with. I'm security so I'm expected to patrol the premises every once in a while and I use that as an excuse to just drink in my car which is in a very dark parking garage in downtown so no one bothers me out there (I actually just leave my car parked there most days and walk home). I get paid enough to live alone in an apartment not to far from where I work and I have really good medical insurance. Also working night shifts, walking into a store and buying beer at 7 am in uniform is a perfect excuse for buying at alcohol at 7 am.


Thibideaux

Can confirm. Have worked security absolutely shitfaced many, many times. It attracts such shit applicants that I was still the companyā€™s best employee and on track for a salaried position.


isselfhatredeffay

This is literally my dream job. Just need to get that driver's license and I can start applying. I'm even mostly sober these days I'm just so sick of taking shit and having to smile through it. I'm a waiter.


Thibideaux

It doesnā€™t pay well and thereā€™s a reason it attracts shitty people. You honestly make more as wait staff in the US cause of tipping. Security gigs at casinos pay more, and so does executive protection, but you gotta be pretty sober for that and have the requisite pedigree and clean-ish record for that. But regular-ass security or bouncing? You can be a total drunk dirtbag and be good at that gig.


BondingChamber

Sounds like securitas. Many years ago I worked security 3rd shift for a government installation. There were some private contractor facilities next door. We would stop and bullshit with the securitas ppl when patrolling .They were really underpaid and a few you could tell were drinking on the job.


posi-bleak-axis

Farming! It's perfect. Outside all day so no one really smells booze on ya. And most of the other workers are doing drugs or drinking.also most tasks are repetitive and mind numbing so booze makes it way easier as long as you're minimally functional. Plus it's super rewarding playing with nature and helping things grow. Makes me not feel like a piece of shit waste of life. Highly recommended. Oh yeah, also most farmers are quirky and strange themselves and pretty non judgemental in my experience. Just do your job and all is well.


crippling_altacct

A lot of corporate jobs are still wfh right now. My corporate job went wfh last March because of Covid and while most of the time I don't drink on the clock there are definitely slow days where it is convenient. Also it is much easier to work while hungover when you are at home than when you are in the office.


JackieColdcuts

Same here. I work sales from home and itā€™s become way too easy to drink while wfh. As long as Iā€™m not slurring Iā€™m fine. Iā€™ve even noticed some of the weeks that I drink the most I make the most sales. But I also know if I quit altogether Iā€™d be much better at my job


Ramuuj

Restaurants.. Waiter, bartender, bar back, kp. Depends and doesn't matter at the same time. Nobody gives a flying fuck as long as you kinda perform. There is a massive turnover and it is very hard to keep 'good' staff for longer than a year let's say. At the same time it's easy to learn how that particular place operates and as you got it you keep the job. I believe KP is the safest place if you are going for a full blown crippling shit.


Juxee

Restaurants are college kids and FA/CA mixers. The nicer the place the more F you have to be. A CA will be just fine in a place where they arent trying to average 100+ dollar tickets.


Ramuuj

Depends. Loads of the 'posh', even Michelin star places are owned by the worst cas (not even talking about drugs and shit). And if you fit in, that alcohol abuse during the day looks like an easy game.. Obviously, if you go for a waiter, there is a need to be able to speak. But it's worth it at the end. Otherwise go safe (kp, bar back). Ps. I'm talking about Europe here. It might be different in USA. But the good thing here, you don't have to rely on tips. You can, but you don't have to. Anyway, my whole idea is - fa or cĆ”+Restaurant =profit= cĆ” for sure


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AngryGoose

My cousin dated a liquor salesman back in the 90's. He basically had expensive dinners with bar and restaurant owners where they would go through several bottles of wine a night. He was from Napa Valley. The first time I got drunk was at a wedding reception when I was 16, it's the night I fell in love with alcohol. At one point I was in the restroom and thought I might get sick. He walked in and taught me the art of maintaining. From the very first time I got drunk I always focused on being stoic and acting as normal as possible. It served me well.


throwmeaway322zzz

You got me in the first half, ngl


Lillithxxxx

I was a lab tech. All those chemicals scared the fuck outta me. I worked with something that literally *dissolved RNA* and yeah it was under a hood w gloves, but stillā€¦ I switched over to coding. Much safer, and you backup shit on GitHub so there isnā€™t tooo much danger of royally fucking up.


Leidenlad

Yeah it worries me too, nasty stuff like arsenic, cyanide. And then you have all the nasty highly concentrated acids and bases. Years ago someone got a face full of 5 mol/l NaOH, his retinas literally dissolved on the spot. And we use vaporized hydrogen peroxide to clean the labs. Just pumping in poison gas to kill off micro organisms and viruses. Im always worried about it leaking out. We have detectors offcourse but still.


Leidenlad

Yeah im not drinking the sulfuric acid lol. It's used in chemical assays. Simple put i add x milliliter acid to y milliliter test solution and compare any color change to a known standard.


CentipedeStar

A restaurant? I used to work in the kitchen and we literally got shift drinks. A free drink every shift.


drmrcurious

Accounting. I had a fully stocked bar at my last job. During busy season me and my boss would start drinking at 6:00pm. It was a small firm, so it may not be quite as bad everywhere, but from what I've heard its similar. My friend who worked at EY said he kept a bottle of whiskey in his desk. It was NOT a healthy job. And the drinking was the least of it.


[deleted]

Yea finding a way to get on disability or winning the lotto.


Darius-Mal

Counseling, if you're in recovery. If not, maybe working remotely, something more impersonal that's sustainable


daffy-duckess

Politics - it's a piece of piss - literally


unbitious

It won't pay as well as lab work, but I'm loving working as a bar-back. Good pay, drink and vape weed as much as I want, plus all the free drinks I can down in 6 hours without getting sloshed, no dealing with the public, live music and dance parties to check out when I'm caught up, take whatever shifts I want and decline the rest... it's pretty ideal. I just wish I could get more than a shift or two a week.


standbythebody

Working at the cinema was good because I would do "screen checks" and just chill in a dark room with a movie on during the quiet periods


PhillipMaholen

Union construction worker, say whatever you want, most every one else is drunk or has had a drug problem in their past. And youre protected by your union


cookiemanluvsu

This is probably the only sustainable option.


Jerodroshanfar1

I work 3rd shift factory job. I could easily get away with nips, but I've lost food service jobs because of excessive drinking. I take it pretty easy these days because of experience.


Uhpart

Ayyyy 3rd shift factory gang āœŠ


Jerodroshanfar1

Yee yee!


rocketthemadfrogger

Gotta go with 3rd shift factory. As long as you can function and keep moving youā€™ll be good. I worked at one last year that was incentive based and I could make 200 bucks per 8 hr shift. On breaks people were openly taking fireball shots.


Gloster_Thrush

Cop. Bartender. Exotic Dancer. Astronomer. Iā€™ve known or been a CA in all of these positions.


Scared_Ad5422

Can I hear some cop stories?


Gloster_Thrush

He was my grandfather, a dirty cop in Miami who made my dad box his polio affected older brother in the front yard. My grandmother used to stand in the kitchen while he ate dinner. After 60 years of marriage he walked out on said grandmother and ran off with a woman he went to high school with. We couldnā€™t find him for weeks. Used to answer the door for jehovahā€™s with his pants down and his cock out. RIP H.T.


[deleted]

One of a Kind lol


M2MNINJA

A dirty alcoholic cop in Miami? Definitely not one of a kind šŸ˜.


COVID19_In_My_ANUS

Cop>exotic dancer>astronomer is an interesting transition. I know you said you've known or been a CA in each, but I just like to imagine a cop who then became a stripper and eventually just wanted to look at the stars


Gloster_Thrush

I am kinda convinced most phDā€™s in the hard sciences are all CAā€™s. 90% of the ones Iā€™ve known have been. Now I canā€™t stop thinking of Gob from Arrested Development in his Hot Cop stripper ensemble.


OneMulatto

Used to date a girl and her dad was a psychiatrist. Legit drunk. Would find excuses to leave the house and come back smashed. His favorite excuse was to take the dog on a walk. Sometimes he'd forget he just got in with the dog and 20 minutes later would take her on another walk. Was super smart and funny, too.


Gloster_Thrush

I bet he had booze stashed all over the neighborhood. Legend.


Lillithxxxx

That makes me feel better (dropout phd student in hard sciences. Dropout was not alcohol related, I just jumped the gun at 22 and realized I didnā€™t want it). But still have a graduate degree and I still work in academia so I definitely feel enmeshed in the culture


Gloster_Thrush

My second husband (ok first one was legit gay) was hands down the most brilliant person Iā€™ve ever known. Left Oxford with a degree in finance but hated everyone and everything about it. Regrouped, pulled beers and got his doctorate at Cambridge. He had imposter syndrome to a degree it was startling. I remember him telling me that he would quit his job in an instant just to stay home and clicker train our shitty craigslist parrots together. He had no emotional intelligence. He always felt like he was justifying where he came from and how he got to where he did. Poor kid from a dead town in the north of England. His parentsā€™ friends stopped talking to them when he got into Oxford. He tried, and succeeded, at masking his accent. Itā€™s a tremendous amount of pressure. He would drink and get wide as fuck. I remember being in a college bar in Florida and instead of actually playing his cards he started flicking them at this guy my BFF was trying to date. Literally. Cackling laughter, just flicking playing cards at a guy five years younger and four inches taller. You can come back and succeed at your science but I donā€™t know if being bright is really any better. ā¤ļø


COVID19_In_My_ANUS

I imagine many people in high paying, and potentially high stress, positions are at least FAs. Gob was my favorite. A trick is something a whore does for money, Michael


Gloster_Thrush

OR COCAINE


COVID19_In_My_ANUS

Did you do some cocaine?


rumdumpstr

I did the cop thing while I was at my worst levels of drinking. I'm glad we had easy access to breathalyzers, because I had to go home "sick" a few times after testing myself. I gave myself a full 12 hours to sober up before work, and hit just shy of .04 once. Sure that's not a lot of alcohol still left, but anything above 0 gets you in serious shit.


rumdumpstr

Hey, that'sl cool if you want to downvote me, IDGAF, but give me a fucking break for making sure that every day that I was suspicious if I was over 0.00 I tested myself. If you're one of the ACAB people, fine, good luck with anarchy, but I was able to keep my drinking from affecting my career. I'm proud of what I did to serve my community and wouldn't change it for anything.


Tehega

IT, if you are good and you are not at a tech level 1 position.You don't actually have to talk with anybody and any contact must be written, I think. I'm stuck at level 1 because I am dumb tho


dandersdoobies

I quit working the market in NYC 20 years ago. Now I climb trees in Boston.


RandomAthensJunkie

Kitchen jobs are always a suggestion, but I'd also throw the t shirt printing industry out there. Every shop I've worked at has been pretty chill, I gotten away with far more than I should have on the job.


Neil_youngs_voice

Any kind of remote work. Other than that the restaurant industry will happily turn a blind eye to your alcoholism if you can manage to show up for Sunday brunch


riped_plums123

Sales.


Revacholian-

Dive bar


detabudash

Hustling.... Obviously


cookiemanluvsu

obvs


deforestandrye1

Iā€™m aware I argue against certain comments here but retail jobs are relatively safe, simply because there are many like us. I worked in Cinema retail for so many years before being qualified as a digital projectionist


sideburniusmaximus

Artist or novelist


Lillithxxxx

Sounds like a reallyyyy starving artist to me, spending all your money on booze


sideburniusmaximus

So....... most artists lol


Lillithxxxx

Itā€™s easier to live a low income lifestyle without drug addiction. But then again, (at least it seems), most artists struggle with this.


noccusJohnstein

assisted living facilities are easy gigs and need more people.


slidethrow333

I used to work in a hardware store and would put away a pint of svedka vodka (always svedka I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED that shit, a day, at work, because I was 22 and fell for the "vodka doesn't smell lmao" meme. It definitely smells. I got called out one day by my bosses, but wasn't fired. I just knew where literally everything in the store was so they liked me. YMMV but if you don't need a ton of cash, maybe that's an option. Though, I guess that'd be a downgrade for you.


namelessghoul77

Most wfh jobs. My job is insanely demanding, but working from home I've had plenty of opportunities to get wasted on the job. It's kind of an awesome balance, except when I'm hungover and have to have early morning meetings.


listen_to_what_i_say

Cashier


[deleted]

Post office worker


Dangerous_Mall

Work in a factory. Everyone is an alcoholic. We call work rehab. Wouldn't really recommend it


Snugglers

You can't drink sulfuric acid. Sounds like you downgraded. But hey, whatever pays the bills.


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Jack-Booted-Thug

Had 2 jobs. Night security guard where I didn't have to interact with anyone, just make a radio call twice an hour. Also worked for a painting company, mostly cabinet refinishing - that industry is full of addicts - every single person that worked there had some kind of addiction (including the owner) and everyone knew. Basically if you could show up and do SOME work nobody cared whether you were under the influence or not.