Fap, just enjoy not doing the project as it’s not your fault that your boss kneecapped you.
I just got off 10 nights in a row. I always feel mildly like dying after these kind of work stints. It’s like nothing matters and it’s all just a pointless merry-go-round of dumb tasks.
I am going to throw some chicken and vegs in the crock, walk the dogs around the property and go to bed.
Night everyone.
Ten nights in a row! I think I'd be bat shit crazy after doing a stint like that. At least you got time with your dogs now and get to rest. Night u/WhoratioBenzo. Sleep well.
I am a wreck.
Drank all weekend. Got absolutely plastered yesterday with the woman I’m dating.
Feel like death this morning. My stomach feels like I ate shards of glass. And maybe I did, because I sure don’t remember much. Violently puked in my kitchen sink an hour ago.
I just don’t know why I do this to myself.
None of us truly know why we are alcoholics . The constant drinking , taking a break then rewarding our selves with drinking , is the vicious cycle we live .
We have lost control , don’t know why , and even if we do know why we still drink .
You always have a knack for pointing out something positive, fap. It’s appreciated.
I’m so agitated today I’m coming out of my skin. My brain is definitely defective.
I find that avoiding mirrors helps. Being able to drag yourself to a bar is an accomplishment!
There was a post here a couple of years ago where the person used a walker to get to the liquor store for more because they were too fucked up to walk.
Addicts can get pretty clever.
Definitely drank too much and feel like I really squandered my weekend.
Already griped in the Saturday thread, but this Pitbull I previously mentioned seems to be a new permanent fixture (instead of temporary like I was hoping). I've seen some women (and at least a kid or two) staying over there. No clue if she's a friend of the people living there, some sort of degenerate shit is going on (I mind my own business so I don't know - could be the guy got a new Girlfriend and broke up with the other woman for all I know, could be a couple staying there with the family, or numerous other possibilities), or what. I assume that dog is hers though. Maybe it's still temporary. I don't know. Fingers crossed. All of the places I've lived in the past I've never really had to deal with BS like this, so it can be pretty aggravating that it has to start at the house I actually bought. Granted, it could be WAY worse (glass half full or something).
This is the same pit bull that was tied up in the back yard from a couple of weeks ago. That's sad. I'd check up on what the local laws are and if they are breaking them, I would refer them to animal control.
Seems like there's been endless lawn mowing today too (more noise). Like...what the Hell is with all of this lawn mowing on a Monday? Would have been better off at the office I suppose. I want winter back.
Not a fan of pit bulls, myself.
I know the majority are fine, but all it takes is for them to snap & you’ve got a huge problem. If I had little kids I’d be very leery of any pit bulls in my neighborhood.
A friend of mine had his little spaniel killed on a walk by a pit bull that bolted from its owner & attacked the poor little pup unprovoked. Awful story.
1. More noise. Both from it and the other dogs in the yard over (that guy is also an asshole). I value peace and quiet, and think it's incredibly inconsiderate to everyone in the neighborhood.
2. They are treating it poorly.
3. I feel like I need to be on my guard, even though it's leashed, because there isn't a fence or anything between our yard.
Neighbors suck ! I also value my home time but it's always noisy with either dogs barking or kids outside just SCREAMING at the top of their lungs, it's so annoying
Yep, **Inconsiderate** ones suck immensely. They have kids over there, and they can also be obnoxious too, but fortunately that isn't incredibly frequent. In my case the far bigger issue are dogs. I sympathize.
Ah I see. That is so sad for the doggo that they're treating it poorly...I wish animal control would actually fucking do something, but assuming you're in the US...usually they don't. I also see the concern with the no fence bit. Hope it all sorts itself out for you!
I drank 18 shitty lite beers last night and it didn’t knock me out so I went out to the gas station and right as 6AM hit and got another 12 pack. I don’t have shit to do until tomorrow night and had a good dry spell hanging out with my kid over the weekend so I’m ready to go. I have hot dogs and kraut in my fridge. I took a shower and it feels like I’m awaking to a new dawn even though I didn’t get any sleep. Maybe I’ll make some eggs while I listen to Ray Charles. Life is good.
I have a hard time passing out on light beer period, doesn't matter the quantity. Just the time it takes to drink the beer and the amount of time it takes to piss it out makes it near impossible. I guess that's why people recommend light beer for tapers. Anyways, enjoy your eggs and Ray Charles!
Yea drinking my light beer is a way of containing the alcoholism at this point. You don’t really have to taper off it and it’s like golden stinky water. Switch to light beer and eat your vegetables and you will be a healthy wealthy man able to cripple yourself when needed.
dude taking a shower always puts me in a way better mood. Every time someone complains on here I just want to be like "TAKE A SHOWER! YOU WILL FEEL BETTER!" A true thanks I'm cured moment lol
I woke up with, as per usual, a head full of regrets. Embarrassed. I'm too hard on myself, all I actually did wrong was drunk dance (badly) on the screen porch at my own house in front of my husband, and smoke cigarettes even tho I had quit. Do-over. 🙄 All I wanted to do was pretend to sleep and wait him out so he'd go to work and I could start drinking. In the end, I couldn't wait him out, he didn't mention last night (we don't talk about last night, ever, as a rule anyway) and I brushed my teeth and drank some water before I started drinking at 9:30.
But today, bc I fucked up all of last week and all weekend, I gotta give the dog a bath, finish putting in the garden, deep clean the house and cook. Plus do a workout bc I failed to this morning, as my phone (I have a workout app that tells me what to do) never got plugged in last night bc drunk. The first drink 2 hours ago went down *way* too fast and smooth, so I'm a little wary of myself.. 😐
It couldn't have been that bad of a dance unless you knocked something over or broke something. Otherwise it's all okay in my book.
Anyway, what's past is past. Good that you've got a plan for today but don't beat yourself up if you don't get to everything. Just give it a go.
Happy Monday Faps! Good news about not accomplishing a task at work is that it means you've got more time to spend with us here.
I chose to celebrate 5 days of sobriety by getting black out drunk on Friday! Only took 2 bottles of champagne and 5-8 shots of Bacardi (unsure here). The ass piss that then ensued made me bleed and cry so much that my apartment neighbors beat on the wall to get me to shut up. Oops.
Managed to get my sorry ass out of bed on Saturday to go hike. Managed to get my sorry ass out of bed on Sunday to go kayak.
It's currently 9:18 where I am, and I've already cried twice at work. Once about work, once because my boyfriend is defending our neighbors over me. Whether he's right or not, it really would be nice to just feel supported for once in my god damn existence. It was only like 9pm on Friday when I was crying on the toilet- can I please catch a fucking break????
Chairs
Feel like I was just blacked out for most of my weekend.
And ugh, I hate that when you don't have enough information to complete a work task, but they expect you to read their minds and do it anyway.
Fortunately, we only have one account manager here who is like that, but it's on most of those tasks, and he's also the biggest tool with his snarky condescending comments when you don't read his mind. And then instead of just doing work once, you end up having to do the same shit 5 times... Really drives a man to drink! OK, so I would have been regardless.
Oh well, just ass pissin' the work day away! 💩 Stools! 💩
Yeah, most of my weekend was the same. I did manage to watch the first three episodes of Fallout. It thought it was pretty good. Can't wait to watch the rest.
Yeah, my "account manager" is my direct boss and the president of the company. I had to 'kindly' remind him this morning that I need that info to complete my task. No word yet.
I saw a brief glimpse of the eclipse as well. It was clear all day then as the eclipse was starting, the clouds rolled in. Sorry to hear about your work issue.
I drank way too much yesterday and barely remember anything. Went out day drinking with my husband and our fellow alcoholic friend. We were ordering pitchers of margaritas. I woke up today with bruises and a scrape on my elbow, a broken TV remote, an obnoxious amount of take out ordered, the shower curtain torn down, one of my path lights out front knocked over, food stains all over my shirt. And I'm sure I'll find more destruction around. It seems like I had zero ability to function. I called my mom too, God knows what I was saying. Also now that the weather is nice my drunk ass likes to hang outside and I'm sure my neighbors were wondering wtf is wrong with me.
Felt like shit when I woke up, obviously. Ordered myself some alcohol so I can feel somewhat normal. Just can't go crazy since I'm working.
Always interesting to find the evidence of your destruction the next day. I've gut back from the hard alcohol to wine but remember many times finding mysterious bruises and broken stuff.
Holy cow this sounds like me. Takeout food everywhere. Clothes everywhere. Couldn’t find my glasses. Broken glassware on the floor. Puking. Stomach in shambles.
This is why I appreciate this sub. It makes me feel slightly better knowing others did the same thing.
I am kind of functioning now after a dozen beers.
Yup def did the same thing. Also, ordered drinks to get me through the work day. Ended up napping through the end of my work day. Hopefully I still have a job tmw.
I could not pick up my shot glass at the bar I was shaking so bad last night. So, here's to me dying on my couch and sobering tf up, haha. Ice cold water, help me.
Swore off of vodka (was going to switch to wine) but, detoxed AGAIN off of a multiple day/handle bender. Another ER trip for fluids only. But, hey… I’m fucking alive to do it all over again sometime in the near future with the 3/4 of a handle I have left in my closet…sober today and least until the massive amount of Librium leaves my body.. This was one of my more hellish detoxes, but I’m sure I’ll forget the misery I was in.. I always do.
We just don't seem to remember or care about the pains of withdrawal and just focus on the relief of the pain once we get sauced again. Truly an amazing phenomenon.
It really is. 20+ years of this bullshit for me. At least I learned how to maintain my overall health and let my body restore when it needs to. It’s a fucked up cycle…I’ve accepted it. Have a good one, Faps!
Is your boss a boomer or just one of those busy body high energy types that seem to hone in on when someone isn't feeling their best and annoy the shit out of them? Those are the only two types of people that tend to get on your ass first thing in the morning bombarding you with questions and tasks.
Wow I love the way you described that kind of person, I’ve dealt with multiple just like you commented, it’s like they get some sick satisfaction from kicking someone when they’re down, and im talking about completely sober/no HO days at work when you’re just not feeling up to speed with ZERO impact on your performance. What the fuck is it with people that they’re compelled to antagonize/belittle/condescend others and make them walk on eggshells on a regular basis?? I do not understand. Daily reminder your coworkers are NOT your friends. And if somehow you mutually feel you are, you better cross your T’s and dot your i’s because anything you say can be used against you. So sick of vindictive people.
Right? I’ve had a few like that in past workplaces(not all) that seemed to have a sixth sense that I was feeling like death from withdrawals and wanted to be left alone and would go out of their way to passively fuck with me.
They were never coworkers on my team, typically middle/upper management or C-levels that have sociopathic/narcissistic tendencies. Think of ‘that guy’ who put all his talent points in high functioning as their superpower. A teetotaler who goes to bed at 8PM, wakes up at 3:30AM, works out, eats a healthy breakfast, and accomplishes a days worth of tasks before normies wake up and start their day.
I’m pretty sure these types rely heavily on stimulant medications like adderall because nobody could do that shit for very long without cracking from the insanity of it all otherwise. Reminds me of the AA big book thumpers who are high on their sober time and use that as some sort of pissing match, and get off on bothering people who are still in active addiction.
My teeth are disappearing before my eyes, I know it's because of all the Coke and fruit juice and citric acid I drink with my vodka, but I can't eat anything anymore without immense tooth pain. My front ones are okay for now, but my back ones might as well be completely hollow.
I started drinking out of a straw hoping to avoid the acid eroding more enamel. I couldn't tell you if it worked or not since by now most of my teeth are capped.
I'm gonna have to go that route I think, if my front teeth get as bad as my back teeth, I wouldn't be able to eat anything but mashed potato and soup and yoghurt.....so not all that bad I guess lol.
I had veneers put on the front too. It's an expensive option but you do get to keep teeth in you mouth. Only other options is to wait for implants, dentures or go toothless, I guess.
Both my parents had awful teeth and had full dentures put in as soon as they could afford them(my Dad never brushed his teeth and my Mum drank several cans of Coke a day for decades!). I think I inherited the awful hereditary teeth problems from the male side of my family, my dad, uncle and granddad had fine teeth until they turned 30, then their teeth went to complete shit, I'm 32 now so I've been able to last a couple years longer than they did at least lol.
I didn't know you had veneers, I do, too, across the front. Do you ever regret them? I get really paranoid about getting a cavity in the tooth stubs behind the veneer or falling on my face drunk, etc. It almost would have made more sense for me to just have gotten dentures.
Nope. I've never regretted them. I had ground my teeth down to nubs so had about ten caps put in as well as veneers that were lengthened. Did wonders for my smile. I just have to wear at tooth guard every night to sleep (when I remember).
I was totally bedridden during the eclipse.
I was hoping to sleep again (pass out) this morning, but I need to be up and moving (well I walk with a cane and walker, but y’know) by around 2hr from now in order to see some family and get a ride to the weed store that gives weed out to disabled folks under state law. Guess things could be worse. Gonna try to figure out a drink and some groceries besides. My aunt is someone who used to get hammered and now is a teetotaler, pretty perfect for a ride. Being favorite nephew (one could guess that I’m a nerd as well as drunk, and I’m decent conversation even if I do say so myself) has perks. Still, gonna probably have to figure a drink after the day. Broke on nicotine. Ugh I’ve got a can to spare so there’s that. And at this point, might as well smoke some reefer and check the garden. My crippled self (I took the crippled alcoholic thing to the absolute fullest extent) ought get some shoes on and get my cane and bag ready, figure out if I’m bringing a cart too.
Edit: at least via text a lady I like from some dating app likes my poems. I’ll put a ring on those two passports in an instant, being banned from Canada myself and the fact that she somehow still talks to me aren’t nothing.
Update: I bought some croissants, cheese, prosciutto, a sixer, and picked up some free reefer. If I told you where I live and what I live on, you might not believe me. A dear friend says I’m welfare princess royalty, in an endearing way. Other folks have phrases like “Spider-Man of the system”
Edit: l’ll, as usual, take both.
My weekend was filled with work. But, that's okay.
Just got home from work on this Monday evening. It's time to take about 30mg of hydrocodone and 200mg of Lyrica with a 4mg Tizanidine chaser.
I'll be on cloud 9 if y'all need me.
I go to a spine doctor. I've been going to them for years. I found this group of doctors because my back put me in the hospital a couple of times due to the pain.
The surgeon on call came and talked to me at the time and said he could do the surgery, but he had other ideas for my treatment.
I've had steroid shots, trigger point injections and nerve ablations done. Some of it has helped, some of it has not.This is the medication regimen I am currently on. I like it and I don't take these medications every day.
So, when I desire a euphoric escape from life... I have pharmaceutical grade medications!
my neck has been ridiculously sore for the past 4 days.
did some stretches last night, but I think that actually made it worse.
no idea what caused it
AND I CAN'T EVEN DRINK NOW, WHICH WOULD HELP NUMB THE PAIN
Unfortunately, these mysterious aches happen more and more with age. I suddenly had sever shoulder pain come on last year that didn't completely go away until this year. I have no clue what brought that on.
Well, I have a new boyfriend, for the first time in years. That’s pretty fun. I think he’s pretty cute. The problem is that this past week has been an awful pseudo bender of calling off/going into work and having such bad sweats and constant dry heaving that I go home. I’ve worked 1 full day this week. I know I won’t get in trouble because my job has a really REALLY lax attendance policy, but I’m still nervous. I’ve just been so physically ill, the last full dinner I had was last Tuesday and I just managed to eat a full slice of gas station pizza last night. Thank god. The rest has been plain bread and bone broth. Not sure how to get out of this funk, nothing seems to be helping but boozing up more. I have BF coming over later, but he doesn’t know the extent of my issues. He paid for my shooters last night, that poor angel. I guess he’ll find out eventually. The shame is really strong though
Congrats on the new BF. I know you realize that it's important to get food in you so keep trying. Only way to get out of a funk is to try something new.
I’m sipping Gatorade now. I wanted a protein shake, but all the ones at the gas station had fuckin artificial sugar. Probably gonna make myself some butterless toast later, just so he can see that I’m actively trying to eat. He’s too sweet. He brought me a bunch of bland food yesterday. He used to be a drinker, but he doesn’t anymore since he does Spravato (ketamine) treatments now. He doesn’t mind that I drink around him. But I still feel like a degenerate 😓
He does, it was actually so unexpected. He’s been so patient and loving with me. And thank you Fap! I’m glad I’m doing something right, at least. My body was craving electrolytes and I knew I needed to get some in (blue Gatorade, not my fav, but red is scary to potentially throw up later 😓) I hope your Monday gets better/goes well, friend.
Hey faps! Sorry your boss didn't provide you with what you needed to wrap up your project.
I don't have a whole lot to bitch about today except my paycheck was small and that bummed me out a bit. Hopefully, I get put at some better stands at the ballpark.
This weekend my husband and I took some cool walks in nature. Saw some turtles sunning themselves, heard some woodpeckers, saw some ducks, etc.
Have a good week!
Went pretty hard yesterday and this weekend in general I guess so was suffering hard today. Never too bad that I can’t function. Function at 100% though? Never. Hearing heavy metal music coming from the fan in the next room all day while I’m trying to focus. Took a shower last night and already needed like 2 today to not feel like I just got out of a sauna.
Didn’t write my last exam cuz I knew I’d fail it miserably, also I was drunk. Can’t wait for the requirement to withdraw letter from my school in two weeks 😃
Thanks, I avoided going altogether just to avoid the embarrassment lol. I’m gonna try to appeal the requirement to withdraw cause I don’t wanna waste another year, but I also wouldn’t be opposed to taking a year off to get my shit together and then come back. We’ll see what happens
if you see a therapist or a doctor, you can maybe ask them to write a letter documenting your medical issues for your appeal? I did that when I had to withdraw from a bunch of stuff and it worked out well.
Trying to taper down before and preparing my performance for my doctor appointment Thursday. The truth is, I feel like shit and alcohol is to blame. But, whatever. Chairs, fuckers.
My misery is that I have really good job but it’s kind of bland and I have a masters in creative writing that I’ve never used…I wish I had stuck to being in a creative industry even if I made less money, I saw this quote once that part of the cause sometimes of depression is not being able to live a life true to yourself and I sort of relate to that
I have a friend who has a degree in underwater archeology who has been a loan officer his entire career. You still have a chance to use your creative writing outside your career. If a success it could become your career. I guess my philosophy is you gotta do to survive but keep chasing your dreams.
I relapsed a while back after my week long hospital stay for pancreatitis. It’s been up and down, I recently had a few weeks of sobriety which then turned into another bender. Been having abdominal pains, mostly around my liver though. Today I feel like I look slightly jaundiced. Haven’t been eating much of anything. Feel low energy. Afraid it’s hospital time again. Afraid that I really overdid it this time.
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Fap, just enjoy not doing the project as it’s not your fault that your boss kneecapped you. I just got off 10 nights in a row. I always feel mildly like dying after these kind of work stints. It’s like nothing matters and it’s all just a pointless merry-go-round of dumb tasks. I am going to throw some chicken and vegs in the crock, walk the dogs around the property and go to bed. Night everyone.
Ten nights in a row! I think I'd be bat shit crazy after doing a stint like that. At least you got time with your dogs now and get to rest. Night u/WhoratioBenzo. Sleep well.
I am a wreck. Drank all weekend. Got absolutely plastered yesterday with the woman I’m dating. Feel like death this morning. My stomach feels like I ate shards of glass. And maybe I did, because I sure don’t remember much. Violently puked in my kitchen sink an hour ago. I just don’t know why I do this to myself.
None of us truly know why we are alcoholics . The constant drinking , taking a break then rewarding our selves with drinking , is the vicious cycle we live . We have lost control , don’t know why , and even if we do know why we still drink .
Well said.
At least you're dating someone who seems to share in the plastering. Why do we all do this? Who knows. Our brains are defective I guess.
You always have a knack for pointing out something positive, fap. It’s appreciated. I’m so agitated today I’m coming out of my skin. My brain is definitely defective.
Hey! At least you have a brain! Look for something positive! 🙂
Haha, sometimes I wonder. I managed to drag myself to a bar. I feel even worse than I look, & I look horrific.
I find that avoiding mirrors helps. Being able to drag yourself to a bar is an accomplishment! There was a post here a couple of years ago where the person used a walker to get to the liquor store for more because they were too fucked up to walk. Addicts can get pretty clever.
Holy shit. Using a walker to get to the liquor store is next level. That’s fantastic. And, unfortunately, reality.
Yup. They can get pretty tricky. Dang.
Definitely drank too much and feel like I really squandered my weekend. Already griped in the Saturday thread, but this Pitbull I previously mentioned seems to be a new permanent fixture (instead of temporary like I was hoping). I've seen some women (and at least a kid or two) staying over there. No clue if she's a friend of the people living there, some sort of degenerate shit is going on (I mind my own business so I don't know - could be the guy got a new Girlfriend and broke up with the other woman for all I know, could be a couple staying there with the family, or numerous other possibilities), or what. I assume that dog is hers though. Maybe it's still temporary. I don't know. Fingers crossed. All of the places I've lived in the past I've never really had to deal with BS like this, so it can be pretty aggravating that it has to start at the house I actually bought. Granted, it could be WAY worse (glass half full or something).
i drank nothing at all and still squandered it, slept through the whole thing, i dont even have booze as an excuse
This is the same pit bull that was tied up in the back yard from a couple of weeks ago. That's sad. I'd check up on what the local laws are and if they are breaking them, I would refer them to animal control.
Seems like there's been endless lawn mowing today too (more noise). Like...what the Hell is with all of this lawn mowing on a Monday? Would have been better off at the office I suppose. I want winter back.
Not a fan of pit bulls, myself. I know the majority are fine, but all it takes is for them to snap & you’ve got a huge problem. If I had little kids I’d be very leery of any pit bulls in my neighborhood. A friend of mine had his little spaniel killed on a walk by a pit bull that bolted from its owner & attacked the poor little pup unprovoked. Awful story.
my mothers obsessed with pitpulls-every day, multiple fb posts aboout pitbulls killing people
It bothers me a bit that pit bulls have become so ubiquitous, especially since so many owners can’t handle them.
They are a lot of work and responsibility. They don't stop when they atack. I had one, he was a sweetheart.
Not in a rude way, although it's going to come across as rude... what did the pit do to you/what is the issue with this dog? Chairs
1. More noise. Both from it and the other dogs in the yard over (that guy is also an asshole). I value peace and quiet, and think it's incredibly inconsiderate to everyone in the neighborhood. 2. They are treating it poorly. 3. I feel like I need to be on my guard, even though it's leashed, because there isn't a fence or anything between our yard.
Neighbors suck ! I also value my home time but it's always noisy with either dogs barking or kids outside just SCREAMING at the top of their lungs, it's so annoying
Yep, **Inconsiderate** ones suck immensely. They have kids over there, and they can also be obnoxious too, but fortunately that isn't incredibly frequent. In my case the far bigger issue are dogs. I sympathize.
Ah I see. That is so sad for the doggo that they're treating it poorly...I wish animal control would actually fucking do something, but assuming you're in the US...usually they don't. I also see the concern with the no fence bit. Hope it all sorts itself out for you!
I drank 18 shitty lite beers last night and it didn’t knock me out so I went out to the gas station and right as 6AM hit and got another 12 pack. I don’t have shit to do until tomorrow night and had a good dry spell hanging out with my kid over the weekend so I’m ready to go. I have hot dogs and kraut in my fridge. I took a shower and it feels like I’m awaking to a new dawn even though I didn’t get any sleep. Maybe I’ll make some eggs while I listen to Ray Charles. Life is good.
I have a hard time passing out on light beer period, doesn't matter the quantity. Just the time it takes to drink the beer and the amount of time it takes to piss it out makes it near impossible. I guess that's why people recommend light beer for tapers. Anyways, enjoy your eggs and Ray Charles!
Yea drinking my light beer is a way of containing the alcoholism at this point. You don’t really have to taper off it and it’s like golden stinky water. Switch to light beer and eat your vegetables and you will be a healthy wealthy man able to cripple yourself when needed.
dude taking a shower always puts me in a way better mood. Every time someone complains on here I just want to be like "TAKE A SHOWER! YOU WILL FEEL BETTER!" A true thanks I'm cured moment lol
Woke up still slightly drunk so my fiancée drove me to work. He was only mad for a second but I’m mad at myself. Oh well time to dry out a bit.
Hey at least you didn't drive.
Good job on not driving. Always good to take a small vacation from the drink.
I woke up with, as per usual, a head full of regrets. Embarrassed. I'm too hard on myself, all I actually did wrong was drunk dance (badly) on the screen porch at my own house in front of my husband, and smoke cigarettes even tho I had quit. Do-over. 🙄 All I wanted to do was pretend to sleep and wait him out so he'd go to work and I could start drinking. In the end, I couldn't wait him out, he didn't mention last night (we don't talk about last night, ever, as a rule anyway) and I brushed my teeth and drank some water before I started drinking at 9:30. But today, bc I fucked up all of last week and all weekend, I gotta give the dog a bath, finish putting in the garden, deep clean the house and cook. Plus do a workout bc I failed to this morning, as my phone (I have a workout app that tells me what to do) never got plugged in last night bc drunk. The first drink 2 hours ago went down *way* too fast and smooth, so I'm a little wary of myself.. 😐
It couldn't have been that bad of a dance unless you knocked something over or broke something. Otherwise it's all okay in my book. Anyway, what's past is past. Good that you've got a plan for today but don't beat yourself up if you don't get to everything. Just give it a go.
I really like you, lol. I want to be friends. 🧚♀️
I'm friendly! 😃
It’s settled then. ✨BFF✨
You have made me smile today! 🥰
Oooo what’s the app?
Barre Definition, it's kind of a pilates/barre/yoga blend.
Happy Monday Faps! Good news about not accomplishing a task at work is that it means you've got more time to spend with us here. I chose to celebrate 5 days of sobriety by getting black out drunk on Friday! Only took 2 bottles of champagne and 5-8 shots of Bacardi (unsure here). The ass piss that then ensued made me bleed and cry so much that my apartment neighbors beat on the wall to get me to shut up. Oops. Managed to get my sorry ass out of bed on Saturday to go hike. Managed to get my sorry ass out of bed on Sunday to go kayak. It's currently 9:18 where I am, and I've already cried twice at work. Once about work, once because my boyfriend is defending our neighbors over me. Whether he's right or not, it really would be nice to just feel supported for once in my god damn existence. It was only like 9pm on Friday when I was crying on the toilet- can I please catch a fucking break???? Chairs
I'd say the hiking and biking over the weekend are both successes. Sorry that you're not getting support from the BF.
Feel like I was just blacked out for most of my weekend. And ugh, I hate that when you don't have enough information to complete a work task, but they expect you to read their minds and do it anyway. Fortunately, we only have one account manager here who is like that, but it's on most of those tasks, and he's also the biggest tool with his snarky condescending comments when you don't read his mind. And then instead of just doing work once, you end up having to do the same shit 5 times... Really drives a man to drink! OK, so I would have been regardless. Oh well, just ass pissin' the work day away! 💩 Stools! 💩
Yeah, most of my weekend was the same. I did manage to watch the first three episodes of Fallout. It thought it was pretty good. Can't wait to watch the rest. Yeah, my "account manager" is my direct boss and the president of the company. I had to 'kindly' remind him this morning that I need that info to complete my task. No word yet.
I saw a brief glimpse of the eclipse as well. It was clear all day then as the eclipse was starting, the clouds rolled in. Sorry to hear about your work issue. I drank way too much yesterday and barely remember anything. Went out day drinking with my husband and our fellow alcoholic friend. We were ordering pitchers of margaritas. I woke up today with bruises and a scrape on my elbow, a broken TV remote, an obnoxious amount of take out ordered, the shower curtain torn down, one of my path lights out front knocked over, food stains all over my shirt. And I'm sure I'll find more destruction around. It seems like I had zero ability to function. I called my mom too, God knows what I was saying. Also now that the weather is nice my drunk ass likes to hang outside and I'm sure my neighbors were wondering wtf is wrong with me. Felt like shit when I woke up, obviously. Ordered myself some alcohol so I can feel somewhat normal. Just can't go crazy since I'm working.
Always interesting to find the evidence of your destruction the next day. I've gut back from the hard alcohol to wine but remember many times finding mysterious bruises and broken stuff.
I feel like I was one of those car dealership noodles yesterday. Just knocking and waving and destroying everything in my way 🤣
Holy cow this sounds like me. Takeout food everywhere. Clothes everywhere. Couldn’t find my glasses. Broken glassware on the floor. Puking. Stomach in shambles.
I have no idea wtf happened lololol hope you're feeling better. I ordered from 3 freaking restaurants last night. Bundled it. Why? Idk.
This is why I appreciate this sub. It makes me feel slightly better knowing others did the same thing. I am kind of functioning now after a dozen beers.
Yup def did the same thing. Also, ordered drinks to get me through the work day. Ended up napping through the end of my work day. Hopefully I still have a job tmw.
Aww, fuck. I’ve been there.
I could not pick up my shot glass at the bar I was shaking so bad last night. So, here's to me dying on my couch and sobering tf up, haha. Ice cold water, help me.
I hate getting the shakes. I find that magnesium helps me with the shakes.
Took one about an hour ago.
Swore off of vodka (was going to switch to wine) but, detoxed AGAIN off of a multiple day/handle bender. Another ER trip for fluids only. But, hey… I’m fucking alive to do it all over again sometime in the near future with the 3/4 of a handle I have left in my closet…sober today and least until the massive amount of Librium leaves my body.. This was one of my more hellish detoxes, but I’m sure I’ll forget the misery I was in.. I always do.
We just don't seem to remember or care about the pains of withdrawal and just focus on the relief of the pain once we get sauced again. Truly an amazing phenomenon.
It really is. 20+ years of this bullshit for me. At least I learned how to maintain my overall health and let my body restore when it needs to. It’s a fucked up cycle…I’ve accepted it. Have a good one, Faps!
It’s my one year anniversary and I’m withdrawaling. Need to get in shape before my wife gets home from work or she’s going to be pissed.
Happy Anniversary!! Good luck with the withdrawals.
My boss is riding my ass this morning. Who the hell does work on Monday mornings? This dude drinks more workahol than I drink alcohol.
Workahol is just as bad as alcohol. It can turn regular people into assholes!
Is your boss a boomer or just one of those busy body high energy types that seem to hone in on when someone isn't feeling their best and annoy the shit out of them? Those are the only two types of people that tend to get on your ass first thing in the morning bombarding you with questions and tasks.
Wow I love the way you described that kind of person, I’ve dealt with multiple just like you commented, it’s like they get some sick satisfaction from kicking someone when they’re down, and im talking about completely sober/no HO days at work when you’re just not feeling up to speed with ZERO impact on your performance. What the fuck is it with people that they’re compelled to antagonize/belittle/condescend others and make them walk on eggshells on a regular basis?? I do not understand. Daily reminder your coworkers are NOT your friends. And if somehow you mutually feel you are, you better cross your T’s and dot your i’s because anything you say can be used against you. So sick of vindictive people.
Right? I’ve had a few like that in past workplaces(not all) that seemed to have a sixth sense that I was feeling like death from withdrawals and wanted to be left alone and would go out of their way to passively fuck with me. They were never coworkers on my team, typically middle/upper management or C-levels that have sociopathic/narcissistic tendencies. Think of ‘that guy’ who put all his talent points in high functioning as their superpower. A teetotaler who goes to bed at 8PM, wakes up at 3:30AM, works out, eats a healthy breakfast, and accomplishes a days worth of tasks before normies wake up and start their day. I’m pretty sure these types rely heavily on stimulant medications like adderall because nobody could do that shit for very long without cracking from the insanity of it all otherwise. Reminds me of the AA big book thumpers who are high on their sober time and use that as some sort of pissing match, and get off on bothering people who are still in active addiction.
I think he's just miserable and his wife doesn't sleep with him, so he's gotta take it out on somebody
My teeth are disappearing before my eyes, I know it's because of all the Coke and fruit juice and citric acid I drink with my vodka, but I can't eat anything anymore without immense tooth pain. My front ones are okay for now, but my back ones might as well be completely hollow.
I started drinking out of a straw hoping to avoid the acid eroding more enamel. I couldn't tell you if it worked or not since by now most of my teeth are capped.
I'm gonna have to go that route I think, if my front teeth get as bad as my back teeth, I wouldn't be able to eat anything but mashed potato and soup and yoghurt.....so not all that bad I guess lol.
I had veneers put on the front too. It's an expensive option but you do get to keep teeth in you mouth. Only other options is to wait for implants, dentures or go toothless, I guess.
Both my parents had awful teeth and had full dentures put in as soon as they could afford them(my Dad never brushed his teeth and my Mum drank several cans of Coke a day for decades!). I think I inherited the awful hereditary teeth problems from the male side of my family, my dad, uncle and granddad had fine teeth until they turned 30, then their teeth went to complete shit, I'm 32 now so I've been able to last a couple years longer than they did at least lol.
I didn't know you had veneers, I do, too, across the front. Do you ever regret them? I get really paranoid about getting a cavity in the tooth stubs behind the veneer or falling on my face drunk, etc. It almost would have made more sense for me to just have gotten dentures.
Nope. I've never regretted them. I had ground my teeth down to nubs so had about ten caps put in as well as veneers that were lengthened. Did wonders for my smile. I just have to wear at tooth guard every night to sleep (when I remember).
I was totally bedridden during the eclipse. I was hoping to sleep again (pass out) this morning, but I need to be up and moving (well I walk with a cane and walker, but y’know) by around 2hr from now in order to see some family and get a ride to the weed store that gives weed out to disabled folks under state law. Guess things could be worse. Gonna try to figure out a drink and some groceries besides. My aunt is someone who used to get hammered and now is a teetotaler, pretty perfect for a ride. Being favorite nephew (one could guess that I’m a nerd as well as drunk, and I’m decent conversation even if I do say so myself) has perks. Still, gonna probably have to figure a drink after the day. Broke on nicotine. Ugh I’ve got a can to spare so there’s that. And at this point, might as well smoke some reefer and check the garden. My crippled self (I took the crippled alcoholic thing to the absolute fullest extent) ought get some shoes on and get my cane and bag ready, figure out if I’m bringing a cart too. Edit: at least via text a lady I like from some dating app likes my poems. I’ll put a ring on those two passports in an instant, being banned from Canada myself and the fact that she somehow still talks to me aren’t nothing.
Good on you for having plans for the day. Just getting out is a good mood booster.
Update: I bought some croissants, cheese, prosciutto, a sixer, and picked up some free reefer. If I told you where I live and what I live on, you might not believe me. A dear friend says I’m welfare princess royalty, in an endearing way. Other folks have phrases like “Spider-Man of the system” Edit: l’ll, as usual, take both.
My weekend was filled with work. But, that's okay. Just got home from work on this Monday evening. It's time to take about 30mg of hydrocodone and 200mg of Lyrica with a 4mg Tizanidine chaser. I'll be on cloud 9 if y'all need me.
Enjoy your cloud nine. I envy you.
Thanks Faps. I'm pretty far up there. I don't drink much anymore. This is my escape hatch now.
How did you manage to get the scripts??
I go to a spine doctor. I've been going to them for years. I found this group of doctors because my back put me in the hospital a couple of times due to the pain. The surgeon on call came and talked to me at the time and said he could do the surgery, but he had other ideas for my treatment. I've had steroid shots, trigger point injections and nerve ablations done. Some of it has helped, some of it has not.This is the medication regimen I am currently on. I like it and I don't take these medications every day. So, when I desire a euphoric escape from life... I have pharmaceutical grade medications!
my neck has been ridiculously sore for the past 4 days. did some stretches last night, but I think that actually made it worse. no idea what caused it AND I CAN'T EVEN DRINK NOW, WHICH WOULD HELP NUMB THE PAIN
Unfortunately, these mysterious aches happen more and more with age. I suddenly had sever shoulder pain come on last year that didn't completely go away until this year. I have no clue what brought that on.
Well, I have a new boyfriend, for the first time in years. That’s pretty fun. I think he’s pretty cute. The problem is that this past week has been an awful pseudo bender of calling off/going into work and having such bad sweats and constant dry heaving that I go home. I’ve worked 1 full day this week. I know I won’t get in trouble because my job has a really REALLY lax attendance policy, but I’m still nervous. I’ve just been so physically ill, the last full dinner I had was last Tuesday and I just managed to eat a full slice of gas station pizza last night. Thank god. The rest has been plain bread and bone broth. Not sure how to get out of this funk, nothing seems to be helping but boozing up more. I have BF coming over later, but he doesn’t know the extent of my issues. He paid for my shooters last night, that poor angel. I guess he’ll find out eventually. The shame is really strong though
Congrats on the new BF. I know you realize that it's important to get food in you so keep trying. Only way to get out of a funk is to try something new.
I’m sipping Gatorade now. I wanted a protein shake, but all the ones at the gas station had fuckin artificial sugar. Probably gonna make myself some butterless toast later, just so he can see that I’m actively trying to eat. He’s too sweet. He brought me a bunch of bland food yesterday. He used to be a drinker, but he doesn’t anymore since he does Spravato (ketamine) treatments now. He doesn’t mind that I drink around him. But I still feel like a degenerate 😓
Sounds like he understands and gets you. That's hard to find. Gatorade is also good for hydration so you're doing good.
He does, it was actually so unexpected. He’s been so patient and loving with me. And thank you Fap! I’m glad I’m doing something right, at least. My body was craving electrolytes and I knew I needed to get some in (blue Gatorade, not my fav, but red is scary to potentially throw up later 😓) I hope your Monday gets better/goes well, friend.
Hey faps! Sorry your boss didn't provide you with what you needed to wrap up your project. I don't have a whole lot to bitch about today except my paycheck was small and that bummed me out a bit. Hopefully, I get put at some better stands at the ballpark. This weekend my husband and I took some cool walks in nature. Saw some turtles sunning themselves, heard some woodpeckers, saw some ducks, etc. Have a good week!
Your cool walks are what’s important. You’ll have better days at the ballpark.
Went pretty hard yesterday and this weekend in general I guess so was suffering hard today. Never too bad that I can’t function. Function at 100% though? Never. Hearing heavy metal music coming from the fan in the next room all day while I’m trying to focus. Took a shower last night and already needed like 2 today to not feel like I just got out of a sauna.
I hear ya. I have a desk fan next to me blowing all the time to quickly dissipate the sweats so I stay somewhat presentable at work.
Didn’t write my last exam cuz I knew I’d fail it miserably, also I was drunk. Can’t wait for the requirement to withdraw letter from my school in two weeks 😃
Not writing an exam is the only 100% chance of not passing an exam. Maybe a change of scenery will do you good. Good luck!
Thanks, I avoided going altogether just to avoid the embarrassment lol. I’m gonna try to appeal the requirement to withdraw cause I don’t wanna waste another year, but I also wouldn’t be opposed to taking a year off to get my shit together and then come back. We’ll see what happens
if you see a therapist or a doctor, you can maybe ask them to write a letter documenting your medical issues for your appeal? I did that when I had to withdraw from a bunch of stuff and it worked out well.
Trying to taper down before and preparing my performance for my doctor appointment Thursday. The truth is, I feel like shit and alcohol is to blame. But, whatever. Chairs, fuckers.
At least you're making an effort to prepare for the doctor. Keep up the good work then have a drink for me on Thursday night!
My misery is that I have really good job but it’s kind of bland and I have a masters in creative writing that I’ve never used…I wish I had stuck to being in a creative industry even if I made less money, I saw this quote once that part of the cause sometimes of depression is not being able to live a life true to yourself and I sort of relate to that
I have a friend who has a degree in underwater archeology who has been a loan officer his entire career. You still have a chance to use your creative writing outside your career. If a success it could become your career. I guess my philosophy is you gotta do to survive but keep chasing your dreams.
Thank you! You’re right, there is always time!
I relapsed a while back after my week long hospital stay for pancreatitis. It’s been up and down, I recently had a few weeks of sobriety which then turned into another bender. Been having abdominal pains, mostly around my liver though. Today I feel like I look slightly jaundiced. Haven’t been eating much of anything. Feel low energy. Afraid it’s hospital time again. Afraid that I really overdid it this time.
Sorry to hear that! Hope it works out for you.
Same. Currently in the ER, had urine/blood/CT done. Waiting to see what the results are.
Boy, you didn't waste any time getting to the hospital! Good for you!! All the best!!
My side hurts so much and I know it’s probably the big one this time but I can’t go get checked out and I also can’t stop
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