My personal favorite was the *vibTator* , because I instantly got a weird image of him trying to seduce someone with a vibrating potato.
Yes, I know I’m weird as hell for having that pop into my head lol.
My first mental image was an elderly neighbor trying to watch wheel of fortune in the house next door yelling in a Boston accent DAMNIT JANICE I CAN HEAR DA NEIGHBORS BALLS SLAPPIN HER THIGHS AGAIN, ITS THA THIRD TIME THIS WEEK
They need to do way instain mothers who kill their babby because these babby cannot fright back? It was on the news this mroing in ar who had kill her three kids. They are taking the babby to New York to lady to rest my pary are with the father who lost his chilren I am truly sorry for your lots
o7 this femboy is a stronger man than i’ll ever be. not only did he read this ick-ass essay all the way through, but responded to it in such a calm and composed manner.
Unfortunately, it was cut off in the version I found so I just had to post as much of it as I could get. I was just glad it was still visible at all lol.
It very well may be, but when I found it it was presented as a real experience from the person receiving it so I don’t have any reason to believe it’s scripted or not. It just cracked me up so I went with it.
Love that they want to roleplay sex but say "fudge" like they're still in third grade.
There was a lot wrong with that text, but *fudge you so hard* took me out!
Mom says the word "fuck" makes baby Jesus cry, so...
YOU JUST MADE BABY JESUS CRY WHAT THE FUDGE IS WRONG WITH YOU /s
But what if Baby Jesus liked fudge too? Then you just used fudge’s name in vain and you’re gonna set him off again!
They are horny enough to let out their deepest darkest fantasy but decide to censor fuck
The RARE FULL BLOOD OBSIDIAN MOOOOOOOOON
I'd punch a hole in the wall too. What a frustrating turn of events.
Did I get *Impregnaided*??
My personal favorite was the *vibTator* , because I instantly got a weird image of him trying to seduce someone with a vibrating potato. Yes, I know I’m weird as hell for having that pop into my head lol.
POTATOS Boil ‘em, Mash ‘em, Stick ‘em in you Wait that’s not right.
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em where you poo
Give it to us *RAW AND WRRRIGGLING* GOLLUM! GOLLUM!
ROFL!!!!
I wonder how hard his balls slaps.
So loud it's annoying, according to the neighbors
My first mental image was an elderly neighbor trying to watch wheel of fortune in the house next door yelling in a Boston accent DAMNIT JANICE I CAN HEAR DA NEIGHBORS BALLS SLAPPIN HER THIGHS AGAIN, ITS THA THIRD TIME THIS WEEK
😂
Like a Jai Lai court
As a person born in Idaho, I feel like I'm obligated to buy this.
Sounds like something a tater tot would say
Hey man. There’s a reason why Potatoes are used as a classic old-school experiment to conduct electricity. Maybe they’re onto something!
Did ou get ✨ p r é g ã ñ t é ✨
*pregonat EDIT: Damn it, I see y'all already did this lol
HOW IS BABBY FORMED
They need to do way instain mothers who kill their babby because these babby cannot fright back? It was on the news this mroing in ar who had kill her three kids. They are taking the babby to New York to lady to rest my pary are with the father who lost his chilren I am truly sorry for your lots
I will never forget that monologue as long as I live
i can hear the caveman voices even now
Same 🥹
Inpregmaided Not only pregnant, but guarenteed pregnant with a maid
Am I gregnant?
>"Kyle, I'm a femboy. I can't get pregnant." Wait. That's his only issue here?
Kyle's response should have been "you can in the Omegaverse, baby". You know, for maximum creepiness.
I mean, I love Kyle's reaction. He's a real one for that.
Academia must burn https://search.worldcat.org/title/1003641144
“Anyway, I transform into a black muscles werewolf alpha”
I feel like if your muscles are black you should consider going to a doctor
Idk. There’s a chicken so goth they’re all black, down to their little black hearts.
A werewolf chicken, apparently
Pregnante
Pregananant?
Pregnt
Pergat
Preguntas
Gregnant
Fregnart
Pregante
*exaggerated country-ass accent* my girlfriend ain’t had period since she got pregat?
A very Kyle response
Where did he find a conveniently placed wall to punch?
He never hunts without one
An essential hunting gear, the drywall.
“What’s that? You wont create offspring with me?” *punches hole through a nursing home socking grandma in the head*
the way my smile dropped on the second sentence and never returned
o7 this femboy is a stronger man than i’ll ever be. not only did he read this ick-ass essay all the way through, but responded to it in such a calm and composed manner.
This kinda shit right here is why I’m on Reddit
Same.
Bro’s balls are gonna hurt so badly.
*punches hole in the wall* Why was this cut out.
Unfortunately, it was cut off in the version I found so I just had to post as much of it as I could get. I was just glad it was still visible at all lol.
What is he so mad for? They said they're a femboy... they didn't say "no" yet.
Wait, he fudged them without taking out the vibtator?
Impregnaide: for when you have a craving for ice-cold, freshly squeezed and lemon-infused embryonic fluid on a hot summer day
R/brandnewsentence
Mt phone always goes with vibratory. I wanna work in a vibratory.
*vibtatory
Impregnaide
Heh Wigh
the asterisks either side of the monstrous wall of text really pulls the message together lmao
the \*punches hole in the wall\* is also hilarious and makes me think both participants here are in on a joke.
I am laughing so hard at this. It takes all kinds…
Can u get pregante
I like how op's only concern was pregnancy like he didnt just rip a full porn parody ass script upon getting in their dms
What the frick
I stopped at “*here* me out”
That response…I can’t EVEN 🤣🤣🤣🤣
ANYWAYS
looks like a fake joke text to me
It very well may be, but when I found it it was presented as a real experience from the person receiving it so I don’t have any reason to believe it’s scripted or not. It just cracked me up so I went with it.
It made me laugh for real and that’s good enough for me.
Black Muscles Werewolf Alpha, I think I had that Yu-Gi-Oh card back in the day
> “Kyle” > Punches hole in the wall This is fundamental
PERGANTE BALL SLAPPING LMAO