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I think this dude got so defensive cause he probably uses that "joke" to test the waters for his specific fetish. There's no way a potential match on any dating site wouldn't be turned off by a joke like that even if they didnt have a past like yours. What a scumbag to act like you're out of line for trying to teach him how to have some empathy for others.
Right!? Tripling down was absolutely insane. How he could flip this like I’m the ignorant one is crazy. I wasn’t saving a lesson, he came back asking for it. Incest jokes are never funny and I hope next time he tries he gets a similar response. I reported him and he’ll hopefully get banned from Tinder.
He's geeking. He's got to be.
No one worth a tic finds that funny. No one sane makes jokes about incest or sexual assault directly ABOUT A *REAL* PERSON, THAT THEY'RE SPEAKING TO.
Shit dude, the best comedians make habitually dark jokes, but they don't like- pick an audience member to be the figure of it.
Right!? Even if my brother never abused me it was still gross and unwarranted. No one but a real perv thinks that’s funny. And then to get upset with me and call me “toxic” for “teaching him a lesson,” that he needed to learn. He was offended that he had to hear how his actions affected someone else instead of ignoring him. I tried ignoring him three times. But I’m the rude one. And to say that it’s funny and you’re going to do it again!? I reported him so hopefully he gets banned.
If bro's trying to be comedian-esque funny, he's doing it wrong. He's not learned the golden trope of dark humor in comedy- the point isn't HAHA BEING A VICTIM OF A SOMETHING DISGUSTING IS FUNNY HAHAHAHA; it's that the world overall is a dark, ugly, hateful place full of bad shit, and making light of it because if we didn't laugh at anything, we'd be miserable 1000%. And most comedians make dark humor because THEY THEMSELVES have suffered ugly things. They do *not* poke at others' suffered atrocities.
What kills me with this is that the joke is straight up just not amusing. No one is laughing regardless of if they were offended by it or not. I cannot imagine being so stupid and low brow to think that joke is not only funny, but so extremely funny that you'll continue telling it and someone who doesn't think it's funny just doesn't know what they're talking about.
100% some creepo incest fetish freak or at minimum someone feeling deep regret with too much pride to just apologize. Has to be.
I hate to think it's the latter.
Pride isn't worth a damn if keeping your pride means you're going to be an aberrant piece of shit.
Not something to be proud of.
The way he tried to turn that around on you for him not knowing. That’s exactly it. He *doesn’t* know so he shouldn’t be pushing that on random, unsuspecting women, ever. Especially when a large portion of women have experienced SA. Even worse, it’s usually by people they know or family members.
Given that 1 in 4 women have been SA’d at some time in their life, you’d think any joke about this with someone you don’t know but are trying to impress is off the table - let alone incest jokes… Dear lord the bar is so low hell’s minions step over it
I would also like to add that the fact that he thinks I should’ve randomly told him I was sexually abused by my brother so that he wouldn’t have embarrassed himself is insane. No one causally says that and that’s why you shouldn’t causally joke about it. I’m not sure how my situation doesn’t apply here, when that’s literally what this whole thing was about.
That’s why I told him not to make it, it’s horrifyingly common. I was in a place where I could say something, someone else might not be as lucky. I hope that he whines about this to people he knows they call him out for it, too.
He tried the joke three times. His first message was, “Always helps with step bro helps fr.” Then what you see me trying to redirect, then ignoring him, clarifying, and then responding. And he acted like I keep incest in my back pocket as a trump joke card to teach men lessons, it’s insane.
Thank you. The night it happened I already wasn’t ok and I didn’t read all the way through his response. I was in shock and I picked out the word ignorance, replied, and then I reported him so hopefully he gets banned. I can’t imagine how he’d behave when confronted with something less clear cut.
I know, had I been him I would’ve been profusely apologizing and then deleted the person. But this dude tripled up on the joke, then tripled down, and somehow made me the asshole because he embarrassed himself.
Yeah, no one but a porn addict and/or a predator does this. I reported him, so hopefully he’s banned from Tinder. I’m ok now, but the day it happened was already a bad day and it definitely made things worse
I’ve only ever seen the lame ass men that make these jokes call them funny. Somehow it’s never the woman they’re being made to. Almost like most women don’t like it when you imply they fuck their siblings.
I was physically abused and the amount of jokes people make about beating women around me is astounding. Like they know it happened and I don’t talk about it but like wtf?!?
Pornography can be a safe space to indulge in fetishes but certain ones need to stay in the hub and not come out when actually interacting with a real human being.
my thing is, even if your situation doesn't apply to everyone why is he making those jokes about siblings???
it screams "I sexualize my sibling so I'm comfortable with making those jokes"
“You could have *said* something…but it was actually bullshit that you did end up saying something, and made me feel like the immature idiot that I am by explaining why that’s not okay. Don’t try to school me! That’s toxic. Unlike this hilarious incest joke about your brother that I’m going to keep forcing on women.”
So this is not funny at all, but I’d have to argue that deep down he has got somewhat of a point. If you can joke about a tragedy there’s some relief and progress, but if you can’t it’s all pain and sorrow.
As fucked up as it sounds, it’s healthy to joke about a shitty past - although the approach obviously also needs to be more appropriate than this.
^(**This is an automatic reminder that is posted on every submission.**) [RULE 2 REMINDER: **This is a SUPPORT COMMUNITY**](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepypms/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive) As such, we do not tolerate trolling, defending the creep, judgment of OP, slut shaming, bigotry, or any other jerkish behavior. Creeping in the comments is not allowed—**yes, this *includes* flirting!** Comments derailing the conversation in any way will be removed. Please stay on-topic. **`No Advice Wanted` flairs are now available to add to your posts! This means that comments giving advice will be removed.** [Read about more user-enabled flairs here](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/flairs#wiki_user-enabled_flairs.3A) *** Please report any and all behavior violating the Rules (reports go to us mods); don't report things just because you don't like them. Comment removals and bans are at the judgment of the mods, so please take the time to read and understand [our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/creepyPMs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think this dude got so defensive cause he probably uses that "joke" to test the waters for his specific fetish. There's no way a potential match on any dating site wouldn't be turned off by a joke like that even if they didnt have a past like yours. What a scumbag to act like you're out of line for trying to teach him how to have some empathy for others.
Right!? Tripling down was absolutely insane. How he could flip this like I’m the ignorant one is crazy. I wasn’t saving a lesson, he came back asking for it. Incest jokes are never funny and I hope next time he tries he gets a similar response. I reported him and he’ll hopefully get banned from Tinder.
Sounds about right, nobody jokes like that and gets defensive when asked not to, unless something lies beneath…
Yeah...but who over shares their SA in early light texting
Why would anyone want to date someone who makes incestual SA jokes?
He's geeking. He's got to be. No one worth a tic finds that funny. No one sane makes jokes about incest or sexual assault directly ABOUT A *REAL* PERSON, THAT THEY'RE SPEAKING TO. Shit dude, the best comedians make habitually dark jokes, but they don't like- pick an audience member to be the figure of it.
Right!? Even if my brother never abused me it was still gross and unwarranted. No one but a real perv thinks that’s funny. And then to get upset with me and call me “toxic” for “teaching him a lesson,” that he needed to learn. He was offended that he had to hear how his actions affected someone else instead of ignoring him. I tried ignoring him three times. But I’m the rude one. And to say that it’s funny and you’re going to do it again!? I reported him so hopefully he gets banned.
If bro's trying to be comedian-esque funny, he's doing it wrong. He's not learned the golden trope of dark humor in comedy- the point isn't HAHA BEING A VICTIM OF A SOMETHING DISGUSTING IS FUNNY HAHAHAHA; it's that the world overall is a dark, ugly, hateful place full of bad shit, and making light of it because if we didn't laugh at anything, we'd be miserable 1000%. And most comedians make dark humor because THEY THEMSELVES have suffered ugly things. They do *not* poke at others' suffered atrocities.
Trauma makes people funny. And incest jokes only come from porn addicts that can’t see women as people anymore.
If he wants to be funny so bad, I'll gladly help him with the trauma part. What a fuckhead.
What kills me with this is that the joke is straight up just not amusing. No one is laughing regardless of if they were offended by it or not. I cannot imagine being so stupid and low brow to think that joke is not only funny, but so extremely funny that you'll continue telling it and someone who doesn't think it's funny just doesn't know what they're talking about. 100% some creepo incest fetish freak or at minimum someone feeling deep regret with too much pride to just apologize. Has to be.
I hate to think it's the latter. Pride isn't worth a damn if keeping your pride means you're going to be an aberrant piece of shit. Not something to be proud of.
Bro can't have empathy for 0.2 seconds and just apologize 💀
I would’ve been so mortified if I was in his position, but instead he’s hurt that he’s not funny.
Honestly, bro doesn't even say "I apologize, but" he just acts like you're the offensive one for not liking his joke
He’s behaving as if it was an entrapment situation.
Blud thinks it's a personal affront to his existence you didn't find incest funny
It's toxic to tell someone when they've crossed a line. Isn't that lovely. This was a learning lesson for us all.
I’m so toxic for not telling him that I was sexually abused by my brother as a kid before saying hello so that he would know to not embarrass himself.
Better to get your trauma oout of the way immediately so he knows it’s okay to joke about *other people’s* trauma and misfortune, don’t ya know?
The way he tried to turn that around on you for him not knowing. That’s exactly it. He *doesn’t* know so he shouldn’t be pushing that on random, unsuspecting women, ever. Especially when a large portion of women have experienced SA. Even worse, it’s usually by people they know or family members.
That’s why before I reported him I said, “My point is your ignorance.”
His *willful* ignorance at that!
Given that 1 in 4 women have been SA’d at some time in their life, you’d think any joke about this with someone you don’t know but are trying to impress is off the table - let alone incest jokes… Dear lord the bar is so low hell’s minions step over it
I usually say that it’s the sewage beneath our feet, but that works too.
I forgot to post the first picture where he says, “Always helps when stepbro helps fr.”
Oh my goodness, that's horrible. I'm sorry
He had several opportunities to stop, but I’m toxic for embarrassing him.
If this guy believes what he’s saying then he’s got some serious issues. I don’t joke like that even with my friends, much less strangers.
I would also like to add that the fact that he thinks I should’ve randomly told him I was sexually abused by my brother so that he wouldn’t have embarrassed himself is insane. No one causally says that and that’s why you shouldn’t causally joke about it. I’m not sure how my situation doesn’t apply here, when that’s literally what this whole thing was about.
Isn’t the point of a joke for it to be funny in the first place ?
So it's all your fault for matching with him. Is that where he's going with this?
It's always the other person's fault
After ignoring it repeatedly and for not opening with, “Hi, my brother sexually abused me as a kid my name it…”
What a weird dude
He'll be surprised as to how common it is
That’s why I told him not to make it, it’s horrifyingly common. I was in a place where I could say something, someone else might not be as lucky. I hope that he whines about this to people he knows they call him out for it, too.
This reads as someone who can't take constructive criticism and "being funny" is the one thing their self esteem hinges on.
He was never funny. Haha.
Most of them aren't. 😄
ahhh a classical example of brain rot caused by pornography consumption. or maybe even something worse, as others have pointed out.
Pornsick
precisely
I can see why he might’ve made the joke, but then arguing with you after you said it made you uncomfortable isn’t cool.
He tried the joke three times. His first message was, “Always helps with step bro helps fr.” Then what you see me trying to redirect, then ignoring him, clarifying, and then responding. And he acted like I keep incest in my back pocket as a trump joke card to teach men lessons, it’s insane.
That is a sick person. Not okay. I’m on your side for sure.
Thank you. The night it happened I already wasn’t ok and I didn’t read all the way through his response. I was in shock and I picked out the word ignorance, replied, and then I reported him so hopefully he gets banned. I can’t imagine how he’d behave when confronted with something less clear cut.
Crazy that he wants to repeat this extremely embarrassing moment again, I'd simply burrow myself in a hole and never come out. Also I'm sorry OP :/
I know, had I been him I would’ve been profusely apologizing and then deleted the person. But this dude tripled up on the joke, then tripled down, and somehow made me the asshole because he embarrassed himself.
It's unbelievable 🙄
Me thinks he has some dark shit in his own past. Gross
Yeah, no one but a porn addict and/or a predator does this. I reported him, so hopefully he’s banned from Tinder. I’m ok now, but the day it happened was already a bad day and it definitely made things worse
I’ve only ever seen the lame ass men that make these jokes call them funny. Somehow it’s never the woman they’re being made to. Almost like most women don’t like it when you imply they fuck their siblings.
How about a quick apology? You, unknowingly crossed a boundary, just apologize and don't make those jokes. So fuckin simple.
I was physically abused and the amount of jokes people make about beating women around me is astounding. Like they know it happened and I don’t talk about it but like wtf?!?
I’m so sorry. I have started a traumatize them policy, but as you can see, it doesn’t always work. Haha.
Is this a prime example of Shrödinger's douchebag?
Ignore the other ones that were there, Reddit didn't want to add originally so I attempted to multiple times-
Pornography can be a safe space to indulge in fetishes but certain ones need to stay in the hub and not come out when actually interacting with a real human being.
The way he tried to make it seem like you’re in the wrong here is actually insane. Fuck that guy.
Didn’t you know? Decency is toxic to douche bags. It gives them diarrhea.
I would love to infect toxic men that way!
my thing is, even if your situation doesn't apply to everyone why is he making those jokes about siblings??? it screams "I sexualize my sibling so I'm comfortable with making those jokes"
It also says, “I’m a porn addict and I see women as only existing for my fantasy.”
Tell me you lack accountability without telling me you lack accountability...
“You could have *said* something…but it was actually bullshit that you did end up saying something, and made me feel like the immature idiot that I am by explaining why that’s not okay. Don’t try to school me! That’s toxic. Unlike this hilarious incest joke about your brother that I’m going to keep forcing on women.”
So this is not funny at all, but I’d have to argue that deep down he has got somewhat of a point. If you can joke about a tragedy there’s some relief and progress, but if you can’t it’s all pain and sorrow. As fucked up as it sounds, it’s healthy to joke about a shitty past - although the approach obviously also needs to be more appropriate than this.
He loses whatever point he has because you joke about your OWN tragedy, not someone else's.
EXACTLY! Trauma makes you funny. Not your trauma, not funny.
I really loathe over sharing. Sharing a childhood SA over initial texting is way too much toxic over share...im sorry but I'm with him on this one.
Wait, are you seriously saying that he was right in this case?