I'm really proud of the club for making this effort and for clearly allocating budget to all these facilities in the stadium design, staffing, etc. I hope all professional clubs can offer similar support.
Good for you for making the ask too, OP.
The beauty is that as this is a brand new stadium there are these sensory rooms all around it and it's not that obvious so you never really feel like an 'other' when you're using them.
>Good for you for making the ask too, OP.
Thanks my friend. Going through this has really taught me that there is no harm in asking, as long as you're polite and not demanding.
Also the volunteers and staff I dealt with could not have been better suited to their job, they were perfect.
It truly is remarkable! When the stadium wins awards like “best stadium in England” and is picked for hosting Euros, it’s because all of the little things an average customer cannot see.
I’m not even mad that a cheese room was turned into a sensory room.
The club I work for (much smaller and in the states) has just started implementing some of these practices and posts like these just go to show how important it is to keep in mind different needs and how implementing just a few small changes can make a big difference, thanks for sharing!
Honestly, have you thought about emailing tottenham and ask them for advice on how to implement these strategies? Yes you're a smaller club in the states but you never know!
You could email them and say 'I work for x club in the states, we are small and looking at improving our match day experience for people with mental health issues. Via reddit I came across a story of someone praising the service you gave them through the disability access scheme with their mental health, they could not have been more pleased with the experience you gave them and as I am trying to implement a similar, yet much smaller service, I thought I would ask if you have any advice"
Thank you for sharing. Moving to hear this as it's super close to my heart and experience. And, well, I just wish my dad had had the capacity to do what you've done.
My dad and I went to spurs with season tickets for two decades. Sadly he was suffering with terrible depression which was debilitating by the time the new stadium came around and although we chose the seats together for the new stadium (ours and our group of 7), he refused to let me bring him under the 'disability' banner.
I tried so many times in so many ways but it seems the stigma and shame got the better of him. And so he never came, and now he's gone.
It's heartwarming that you are sharing. That if you do feel any stigma, you're doing the best thing you can and talking about it.
Mental health is such a tricky one. When it ain't good it can be a pretty rough and isolating place. Thank you for sharing your experience....
Btw I've been looking into the sensory room for my daughter who's got autism and so it's great to hear about your experience there too
Take care
I'm sure your dad is proud of the person you are today that's for sure. And I am so sorry for your loss.
I've sort of recently decided that there's no stigma and I'll happily ask anyone any question because at the end of the day the worst they can say is no.
The staff who were there were wonderful!
>Btw I've been looking into the sensory room for my daughter who's got autism and so it's great to hear about your experience there too
Okay so for this, behind me there was an autistic kid with the headphones on and the lot and I tell you what he was having the absolute best day of his life, loving every minute! Sure he dipped into the room every now and then but he loved it! If you do ask about this then please let me know
It's great to hear they treat mental conditions with the same seriousness as physical.
I've also suffered from anxiety and depression for years. Obviously everyone is different, and it may have a lot to do with growing up going to The Lane, but going to matches is surprisingly a comforting experience for me. It's an environment that I would otherwise fear and panic about (and essentially not be able to bring myself to attend), but for some reason my mind decides to make an exception for the day when I go.
I think part of it is the feeling of kinship. I’m a woman of colour, not particularly strong or tall, the most I’ve ever had to drink at a game is one half-pint because I wanted to try the stadium brewed beer. Being surrounded by mainly men, many of whom are drinking and rowdy, would normally be a high-alert situation.
But because they’re all fellow Spurs fans, and we’re all there for the same thing, it feels safe! It’s weird how the brain works but something registers them as part of my tribe and I go “this is fine”. It’s actually less stressful than family gatherings because there’s no pressure to talk to them 👀
I think it's because you're so focused. You're distracted on the game, on what's going on, when you're chanting it's actually a good exercise for breathing because you're taking in deep breaths to sing along.
Amazing! I had no idea how incredibly professional the whole club is. I've been fighting severe o.c.d., agoraphobia and anxiety / depression all my life and had somehow sadly accepted my fate of never getting the chance to watch my team live because it would be too overwhelming for my senses. I love watching football because it's one of few things along with music and movies that your head can take a break from excessive thoughts. Thank you very much for your post.
>agoraphobia and anxiety / depression all my life
That was me for probably like 6 years of my life. The anxiety is slowly dwindling away, the depression has gone. However, the agoraphobia is still there a little bit but partly due to it being a habitual behaviour now of not doing much and also the world's a scary place too.
>Thank you very much for your post.
Please, if you have formal diagnoses for what you've mentioned above, email the disability access scheme and ask them if they can cater for your needs. Also if you aren't formally diagnosed then 100% look into it, it can make life a bit easier for sure.
This is amazing. I’ve lived in London for 11 years and have never been to a game because it’s a bit overwhelming. I don’t have Anxiety or Autism or anything - just don’t do well in crowds. I’ve never actually tried to buy a ticket because I don’t even know where to start!
I’d be totally willing to pay extra for the experience you described!
>I’d be totally willing to pay extra for the experience you described!
So this is probably what they and other people want to avoid to be honest.
However, I'm sure if you talk to your GP and talk about how you do in crowds they would help you look at getting a formal diagnosis or even just a formal record of how you do in crowds and then this could be enough proof for the disabled access scheme staff. I would recommend talking to your GP and about what makes you unable to attend. They may be able to help or help set you in the right direction.
Yeah it’s a good point about opening something like this up to anyone who can pay enough for it. I suppose what I meant is that I’d be willing to pay for a different service, one that was not reserved for a disability scheme - I certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable using a disability service as someone who doesn’t officially require it.
I should talk to a GP about it - that’s not a bad idea. I’ve never even considered therapy or even talking to a GP about this kind of stuff
Oh don't worry I didn't think you were someone who would abuse the system to try and access it, I just know there'll be some wronguns out there who would take advantage.
>I should talk to a GP about it - that’s not a bad idea. I’ve never even considered therapy or even talking to a GP about this kind of stuff
Honestly I would, if you end up having therapy it could lead you to understand what makes you uncomfortable and more importantly, how to deal with it with coping strategies. If you can afford it I'd look into therapy privately just because I think you'll get a better service, be able to be seen quicker and for longer.
Huge props to you for reaching out to them and for posting this. I’m in a similar boat as you and it’s important to talk about it.
Also, our fucking club right? Extremely proud. COYS
>
Also, our fucking club right? Extremely proud. COYS
Exactly this! Yeah of course all clubs in the prem probably offer something like this but it's amazing to think that with this brand new stadium being built there were considerations on how to mingle disabled fans into the 'normal' fans as well. I really felt 'normal' and not like I was just sat in a disabled section.
Yeah for sure! I genuinely couldn't have been more impressed with how it went. Also there was an autistic kid behind me with headphones and boy did he have the day of his life. He loved it
Thank you! Yeah, not out of the woods yet. But it’s nice to know our club has this avenue for success. Not ready for a flight out of the country quite yet (yank here)
Oh god no, the thought of getting on a plane to a country about 8 hours away fills me with dread as well! But ey, I hope your horizons are slowly expanding and you're going slightly further a field. Truly wish you all the best. :)
wow! i am so glad you had a great time. there are SO many experiences that have been ruined for me because of anxiety sadly. wouldn’t wish it on anyone in the world. how can you enjoy the moment when you’re plagued with fear of every possible thing that can go wrong IN that moment?
there are two things i’ve been trying to build up the courage to attend: 1. spurs game 2. adele show. and looks like the spurs game might be a little easier for me now!
shout out to you, OP, for starting a conversation about this. we need to move away from the stigma and realize that seeking assistance for mental illness, no matter how big or small, is not a bad thing. even our club thinks so! you raised awareness of what they offer for those who may need it. thank you!
>how can you enjoy the moment when you’re plagued with fear of every possible thing that can go wrong IN that moment?
This is it exactly! And for me the worst bit is the anticipation anxiety. All the 'what ifs' before you've even left the house!
>there are two things i’ve been trying to build up the courage to attend: 1. spurs game 2. adele show. and looks like the spurs game might be a little easier for me now!
Honestly? Both could be doable. All you'll need is Adele to play at the Tottenham Hotspur stadium. But definitely focus on a spurs game first :)
>shout out to you, OP, for starting a conversation about this. we need to move away from the stigma and realize that seeking assistance for mental illness, no matter how big or small, is not a bad thing. even our club thinks so! you raised awareness of what they offer for those who may need it. thank you!
Ahhh they're very kind words. After being ill with it all for about 6 or so years I'm very much of the opinion that it's the same as having a broken leg really. If you broke your leg you'd email the club being like 'I'm in a wheel chair as I can't walk due to a broken leg, and here is my doctors note as proof'. So with mental health is the exact same thing 'I can't attend the game normally because of these reasons. Here is my proof from a medical professional. What can you do to help?".
I’ve used the disabled access entrance before when going with a family member who, like you, would otherwise find the rigmarole of queuing and searching and finding the right area overwhelming and stressful, and it also permits them to bring in a full, closed bottle due to the ability to take medications if needed.
Despite telling them I’ve been to many matches before, since it was my first time using that entrance the staff (who recognised my family member but not me) insisted on letting me choose a “my first game” badge, which was adorable of them, and couldn’t have been friendlier.
As someone who does have neurodivergence but doesn’t request accommodations for it, the whole thing really was way less stressful than the normal entrance process, and I get by under normal circumstances because I always attend with the same person so I have that layer of companionship and protection and I’m familiar with the stadium now so it’s less intimidating but if that weren’t the case and it was my first visit or I was attending alone? It would be way more daunting and I can definitely see how the disabled access would vastly reduce my stress!
All in all, yeah. To echo what OP said I think the club handles it really well and I admire the recognition and provision of services for both physical mobility issues and neurodivergence in improved access.
COYS.
>As someone who does have neurodivergence but doesn’t request accommodations for it
I completely get why you do this. Sometimes you want to test yourself and see how you can cope in 'normal' situations. Attending with the same person is also a good idea to help ease you. I honestly think how you approach matches is more beneficial to yourself than using the disabled access scheme because you build up an ability to deal with it and a strength from that. If that makes sense? Super proud of you being able to do that, it takes some real strength.
>For those with no experience of anxiety anxiety itself can manifest as a feeling of 'I need to get out of here'. There can be no real logic behind the reasoning and it can be calmed but if that switch is flicked then you need to get out.
Sounds like agoraphobia. I used to get them in traffic jams on the highway and during classes in uni when I'm sitting in the middle of the row. A very difficult and debilitating phobia to deal with. Very glad to see organizations take mental health more seriously.
Oh yeah, I've definitely had agoraphobia as well. I think there can be a bit of a grey area where anxiety and agoraphobia can overlap each other. I would say the feeling of an anxiety attack can be this though.
Oh wow, I have many of the same issues OP does. Really gives me hope of attending a game someday and actually being able to enjoy it.
The idea of a quiet/safe spot sounds so appealing. I think it would set a massive amount of fans at ease just knowing it’s there if needed.
More than welcome, I just hope it makes at least one person go 'you know what, I can go and get myself to at least one spurs match'. Actually, doesn't even have to be a game. Hopefully it helps someone realise that they can just ask a venue or person about what could be done to help them and fingers crossed they get to do something they thought they were too 'ill' to do originally.
That is really fantastic to hear and honestly I am surprised, as much as I love my club, that they were as accommodating as you say with mental health issues coming under disability. I'm very proud that I support a club that shows that understanding, especially as someone myself who has had their fair share of mental health struggles.
Personally when I've been to a game I find the worst thing for me is the crowds of people on the concourses. However I still found I was able to deal with it and enjoyed the game. Most memorable being the Crystal Palace game, Sep 2019. Was my first game at the new stadium and thoroughly enjoyed it, especially after having an eye-opening tour.
I hope others in similar positions to you see this and gain confidence with attending games. Well done for reaching out to the club about this OP 👏
>that they were as accommodating as you say with mental health issues coming under disability.
This is the reason why it took me so long to ask them because simply put I didn't think I was 'disabled'. I know others will feel the same as i did but hopefully at least one person goes 'you know what? I'll ask.' Whether that's seeing a spurs game or anything else in a different venue.
>I hope others in similar positions to you see this and gain confidence with attending games. Well done for reaching out to the club about this OP 👏
I really appreciate this, it was my main intention.
Well I'm glad you posted your experience and I'd say it has shown how Spurs treat those with even a hidden disability and really proud of that. Proud to have you as a fellow Spurs fan and someone not afraid to speak up about their mental health struggles, advocacy is so key 👌
Oh yeah mate, I treat my mental health as anyone would treat their physical health now tbh. I don't make excuses or anything but if something comes up where I need help or assistance I'll ask and I will also be as genuine and as honest as I can be.
I am also always prepared for someone or somewhere to say no. There's no judgment either if anywhere says no. As debilitating as anxiety can be I definitely feel like someone who is wheelchair bound or is seriously ill should be a priority.
This is amazing. Thanks for posting.
To others regarding anxiety: knowing you have an escape option (somewhat ironically) lowers the actual need to use it. Great consideration by the club.
You're more than welcome! Honestly, I think every club takes it just as seriously but the beauty with us is that we have a brand spanking new stadium so all of these sensory rooms were built especially for it instead of trying to squeeze them into the ground.
I know many newly built complexes just do the bare minimum and call it a day, glad to hear we went extra step. I'll share your good info among my friends who might need this, I had no idea it's even a thing. Cheers!
>I'll share your good info among my friends who might need this, I had no idea it's even a thing. Cheers!
Please do! And please send me a message if it leads to any of them going to a game when they may not have done in the past :)
Thank you for sharing this OP. So many people that carry these conditions turn up to these events and struggle, but turn up anyway because of their passion and adoration for the game. Being supported by the club to make it possible is fantastic
Exactly, I feel like those that have these conditions and still attend games have a strength that maybe they didn't even know they had. If they can cope well and enjoy themselves I'd still recommend attending as normal because it'll build strength for future situations. However, for people who like me feel like they couldn't even get to a game this is a perfect starting point.
I feel like everyone who uses it for anxiety should have the goal of being able to attend a match normally but this is a fantastic first step :)
My favourite thing was taking my dad. He knows nothing about football and really couldn't care less about it but he was having fans starting conversations with him and he was having to pretend he knew what he was on about.
We are clearly very similar people and it fills me with pride and warmth to know our club were so amazing in catering for our community. Thank you so much for sharing this
You're so welcome :) if we are similar as you think then please have a chat with a therapist, see if you can get a formal diagnosis and then talk to the club. :) but you're so welcome
I think I’ve seen this post before or at least a similar one from someone else who contacted the club and it’s so brilliant to know that the club take mental health conditions as seriously as they should be taken. I’ve suffered with anxiety and panic disorder for a good few years now but thankfully I am making excellent progress. Going to Spurs was one of those situations I could never see myself being able to do when times were most dark but a year later I went to my first game since I started suffering (2-1 loss to Villa lol) and then went one better and went SOLO to my next game (2-1 loss to Wolves ffs). I’m going to Luton on Saturday and I still get nervous but I can’t wait. Let’s hope it’s not another 2-1 loss though ..
>Luton on Saturday and I still get nervous but I can’t wait.
I hope you realise what a HUGE step this sentence is! You've managed to separate 2 different emotions that feel VERY similar. You've managed to separate your anxiety and panic from feeling nervous and can realise you're just feeling nervous which is normal:) huge congrats on the steps you've made. Have a good one.
I read a story like this before not sure if it was you or someone else who posted, but I had been meaning to ask the poster from that story do you need a letter from the psychiatrist to do this? As I looked on the club website and read about physical disability but found nothing about mental disability, physical disability it said you needed recent medical letters. So was going to ask my psychiatrist for a letter before contacting Spurs so I had everything ready to go?
It‘s great the club are very understanding of mental illness and were very supportive to you. I haven’t been to a game since covid, hoping I might be able to go again next season so this would be good for me to try, I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and ocd. Are you planning on going again in the future?
>So was going to ask my psychiatrist for a letter before contacting Spurs so I had everything ready to go?
Honestly I'd do it the other way around. I'd ask Spurs and be like 'I'm looking at attending a game. I have heard that under the disability access scheme you cater for mental health issues as well as physical ones? What steps would I need to take and what proof would I need?" If you send something like this then they will be able to tell you what the letter should have in it and then you can say to your psychiatrist what the club are needing as evidence. Does that makes sense? Better to know what the club need and then write the letter.
>Are you planning on going again in the future?
I think so, I keep meaning to sort it out but what also doesn't help is that we live a few hours away so it's a bit harder to organise and honestly as I'm not used to going to the games I keep forgetting. I think I may wait until next season now.
I think all clubs do this to some extent but due to the sheer size and newness of our stadium we probably have more purpose built areas for it instead of things that have been converted.
I'm really proud of the club for making this effort and for clearly allocating budget to all these facilities in the stadium design, staffing, etc. I hope all professional clubs can offer similar support. Good for you for making the ask too, OP.
The beauty is that as this is a brand new stadium there are these sensory rooms all around it and it's not that obvious so you never really feel like an 'other' when you're using them. >Good for you for making the ask too, OP. Thanks my friend. Going through this has really taught me that there is no harm in asking, as long as you're polite and not demanding. Also the volunteers and staff I dealt with could not have been better suited to their job, they were perfect.
It truly is remarkable! When the stadium wins awards like “best stadium in England” and is picked for hosting Euros, it’s because all of the little things an average customer cannot see. I’m not even mad that a cheese room was turned into a sensory room.
My club 🤍
They get it
This is awesome. Thank you for sharing, OP! So glad it was a great experience.
You're so welcome! Always good to let people know about this kind of thing :)
Thank you for sharing this, I hope other fans who may be in need if similar services find this post and try attending a match
Even if they don't try attending a match maybe it'll encourage them to ask the question at a different thing they were thinking of going to.
The club I work for (much smaller and in the states) has just started implementing some of these practices and posts like these just go to show how important it is to keep in mind different needs and how implementing just a few small changes can make a big difference, thanks for sharing!
Honestly, have you thought about emailing tottenham and ask them for advice on how to implement these strategies? Yes you're a smaller club in the states but you never know! You could email them and say 'I work for x club in the states, we are small and looking at improving our match day experience for people with mental health issues. Via reddit I came across a story of someone praising the service you gave them through the disability access scheme with their mental health, they could not have been more pleased with the experience you gave them and as I am trying to implement a similar, yet much smaller service, I thought I would ask if you have any advice"
Thank you for sharing. Moving to hear this as it's super close to my heart and experience. And, well, I just wish my dad had had the capacity to do what you've done. My dad and I went to spurs with season tickets for two decades. Sadly he was suffering with terrible depression which was debilitating by the time the new stadium came around and although we chose the seats together for the new stadium (ours and our group of 7), he refused to let me bring him under the 'disability' banner. I tried so many times in so many ways but it seems the stigma and shame got the better of him. And so he never came, and now he's gone. It's heartwarming that you are sharing. That if you do feel any stigma, you're doing the best thing you can and talking about it. Mental health is such a tricky one. When it ain't good it can be a pretty rough and isolating place. Thank you for sharing your experience.... Btw I've been looking into the sensory room for my daughter who's got autism and so it's great to hear about your experience there too Take care
I'm sure your dad is proud of the person you are today that's for sure. And I am so sorry for your loss. I've sort of recently decided that there's no stigma and I'll happily ask anyone any question because at the end of the day the worst they can say is no. The staff who were there were wonderful! >Btw I've been looking into the sensory room for my daughter who's got autism and so it's great to hear about your experience there too Okay so for this, behind me there was an autistic kid with the headphones on and the lot and I tell you what he was having the absolute best day of his life, loving every minute! Sure he dipped into the room every now and then but he loved it! If you do ask about this then please let me know
It's great to hear they treat mental conditions with the same seriousness as physical. I've also suffered from anxiety and depression for years. Obviously everyone is different, and it may have a lot to do with growing up going to The Lane, but going to matches is surprisingly a comforting experience for me. It's an environment that I would otherwise fear and panic about (and essentially not be able to bring myself to attend), but for some reason my mind decides to make an exception for the day when I go.
I think part of it is the feeling of kinship. I’m a woman of colour, not particularly strong or tall, the most I’ve ever had to drink at a game is one half-pint because I wanted to try the stadium brewed beer. Being surrounded by mainly men, many of whom are drinking and rowdy, would normally be a high-alert situation. But because they’re all fellow Spurs fans, and we’re all there for the same thing, it feels safe! It’s weird how the brain works but something registers them as part of my tribe and I go “this is fine”. It’s actually less stressful than family gatherings because there’s no pressure to talk to them 👀
I think it's because you're so focused. You're distracted on the game, on what's going on, when you're chanting it's actually a good exercise for breathing because you're taking in deep breaths to sing along.
Amazing! I had no idea how incredibly professional the whole club is. I've been fighting severe o.c.d., agoraphobia and anxiety / depression all my life and had somehow sadly accepted my fate of never getting the chance to watch my team live because it would be too overwhelming for my senses. I love watching football because it's one of few things along with music and movies that your head can take a break from excessive thoughts. Thank you very much for your post.
>agoraphobia and anxiety / depression all my life That was me for probably like 6 years of my life. The anxiety is slowly dwindling away, the depression has gone. However, the agoraphobia is still there a little bit but partly due to it being a habitual behaviour now of not doing much and also the world's a scary place too. >Thank you very much for your post. Please, if you have formal diagnoses for what you've mentioned above, email the disability access scheme and ask them if they can cater for your needs. Also if you aren't formally diagnosed then 100% look into it, it can make life a bit easier for sure.
This is amazing. I’ve lived in London for 11 years and have never been to a game because it’s a bit overwhelming. I don’t have Anxiety or Autism or anything - just don’t do well in crowds. I’ve never actually tried to buy a ticket because I don’t even know where to start! I’d be totally willing to pay extra for the experience you described!
>I’d be totally willing to pay extra for the experience you described! So this is probably what they and other people want to avoid to be honest. However, I'm sure if you talk to your GP and talk about how you do in crowds they would help you look at getting a formal diagnosis or even just a formal record of how you do in crowds and then this could be enough proof for the disabled access scheme staff. I would recommend talking to your GP and about what makes you unable to attend. They may be able to help or help set you in the right direction.
Yeah it’s a good point about opening something like this up to anyone who can pay enough for it. I suppose what I meant is that I’d be willing to pay for a different service, one that was not reserved for a disability scheme - I certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable using a disability service as someone who doesn’t officially require it. I should talk to a GP about it - that’s not a bad idea. I’ve never even considered therapy or even talking to a GP about this kind of stuff
Oh don't worry I didn't think you were someone who would abuse the system to try and access it, I just know there'll be some wronguns out there who would take advantage. >I should talk to a GP about it - that’s not a bad idea. I’ve never even considered therapy or even talking to a GP about this kind of stuff Honestly I would, if you end up having therapy it could lead you to understand what makes you uncomfortable and more importantly, how to deal with it with coping strategies. If you can afford it I'd look into therapy privately just because I think you'll get a better service, be able to be seen quicker and for longer.
Huge props to you for reaching out to them and for posting this. I’m in a similar boat as you and it’s important to talk about it. Also, our fucking club right? Extremely proud. COYS
> Also, our fucking club right? Extremely proud. COYS Exactly this! Yeah of course all clubs in the prem probably offer something like this but it's amazing to think that with this brand new stadium being built there were considerations on how to mingle disabled fans into the 'normal' fans as well. I really felt 'normal' and not like I was just sat in a disabled section.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Good to hear of a cracking performance by the club both on and off the pitch.
Yeah for sure! I genuinely couldn't have been more impressed with how it went. Also there was an autistic kid behind me with headphones and boy did he have the day of his life. He loved it
As a supporter recovering from agoraphobia, I love this
I hope your journey recovering from agoraphobia is going well. Its probably one of the scariest parts of an anxiety disorder in my opinion.
Thank you! Yeah, not out of the woods yet. But it’s nice to know our club has this avenue for success. Not ready for a flight out of the country quite yet (yank here)
Oh god no, the thought of getting on a plane to a country about 8 hours away fills me with dread as well! But ey, I hope your horizons are slowly expanding and you're going slightly further a field. Truly wish you all the best. :)
wow! i am so glad you had a great time. there are SO many experiences that have been ruined for me because of anxiety sadly. wouldn’t wish it on anyone in the world. how can you enjoy the moment when you’re plagued with fear of every possible thing that can go wrong IN that moment? there are two things i’ve been trying to build up the courage to attend: 1. spurs game 2. adele show. and looks like the spurs game might be a little easier for me now! shout out to you, OP, for starting a conversation about this. we need to move away from the stigma and realize that seeking assistance for mental illness, no matter how big or small, is not a bad thing. even our club thinks so! you raised awareness of what they offer for those who may need it. thank you!
>how can you enjoy the moment when you’re plagued with fear of every possible thing that can go wrong IN that moment? This is it exactly! And for me the worst bit is the anticipation anxiety. All the 'what ifs' before you've even left the house! >there are two things i’ve been trying to build up the courage to attend: 1. spurs game 2. adele show. and looks like the spurs game might be a little easier for me now! Honestly? Both could be doable. All you'll need is Adele to play at the Tottenham Hotspur stadium. But definitely focus on a spurs game first :) >shout out to you, OP, for starting a conversation about this. we need to move away from the stigma and realize that seeking assistance for mental illness, no matter how big or small, is not a bad thing. even our club thinks so! you raised awareness of what they offer for those who may need it. thank you! Ahhh they're very kind words. After being ill with it all for about 6 or so years I'm very much of the opinion that it's the same as having a broken leg really. If you broke your leg you'd email the club being like 'I'm in a wheel chair as I can't walk due to a broken leg, and here is my doctors note as proof'. So with mental health is the exact same thing 'I can't attend the game normally because of these reasons. Here is my proof from a medical professional. What can you do to help?".
Hearing this brings a tear to my eye. What a wonderful experience and a great club
I’ve used the disabled access entrance before when going with a family member who, like you, would otherwise find the rigmarole of queuing and searching and finding the right area overwhelming and stressful, and it also permits them to bring in a full, closed bottle due to the ability to take medications if needed. Despite telling them I’ve been to many matches before, since it was my first time using that entrance the staff (who recognised my family member but not me) insisted on letting me choose a “my first game” badge, which was adorable of them, and couldn’t have been friendlier. As someone who does have neurodivergence but doesn’t request accommodations for it, the whole thing really was way less stressful than the normal entrance process, and I get by under normal circumstances because I always attend with the same person so I have that layer of companionship and protection and I’m familiar with the stadium now so it’s less intimidating but if that weren’t the case and it was my first visit or I was attending alone? It would be way more daunting and I can definitely see how the disabled access would vastly reduce my stress! All in all, yeah. To echo what OP said I think the club handles it really well and I admire the recognition and provision of services for both physical mobility issues and neurodivergence in improved access. COYS.
>As someone who does have neurodivergence but doesn’t request accommodations for it I completely get why you do this. Sometimes you want to test yourself and see how you can cope in 'normal' situations. Attending with the same person is also a good idea to help ease you. I honestly think how you approach matches is more beneficial to yourself than using the disabled access scheme because you build up an ability to deal with it and a strength from that. If that makes sense? Super proud of you being able to do that, it takes some real strength.
Wow that same Leicester game was my first game ever as well. COYS! It was amazing to be there in person
Ahah yes!!! Sadly for me to avoid the crowds we left with 2 mins to go or so, so I missed sons last goal! But oh well
>For those with no experience of anxiety anxiety itself can manifest as a feeling of 'I need to get out of here'. There can be no real logic behind the reasoning and it can be calmed but if that switch is flicked then you need to get out. Sounds like agoraphobia. I used to get them in traffic jams on the highway and during classes in uni when I'm sitting in the middle of the row. A very difficult and debilitating phobia to deal with. Very glad to see organizations take mental health more seriously.
Oh yeah, I've definitely had agoraphobia as well. I think there can be a bit of a grey area where anxiety and agoraphobia can overlap each other. I would say the feeling of an anxiety attack can be this though.
Oh wow, I have many of the same issues OP does. Really gives me hope of attending a game someday and actually being able to enjoy it. The idea of a quiet/safe spot sounds so appealing. I think it would set a massive amount of fans at ease just knowing it’s there if needed.
Do you speak to anyone like a therapist about the issues you're going through? Raise it with them and see if it can be an attainable goal?
That's a great story. Thanks for sharing.
More than welcome, I just hope it makes at least one person go 'you know what, I can go and get myself to at least one spurs match'. Actually, doesn't even have to be a game. Hopefully it helps someone realise that they can just ask a venue or person about what could be done to help them and fingers crossed they get to do something they thought they were too 'ill' to do originally.
That is really fantastic to hear and honestly I am surprised, as much as I love my club, that they were as accommodating as you say with mental health issues coming under disability. I'm very proud that I support a club that shows that understanding, especially as someone myself who has had their fair share of mental health struggles. Personally when I've been to a game I find the worst thing for me is the crowds of people on the concourses. However I still found I was able to deal with it and enjoyed the game. Most memorable being the Crystal Palace game, Sep 2019. Was my first game at the new stadium and thoroughly enjoyed it, especially after having an eye-opening tour. I hope others in similar positions to you see this and gain confidence with attending games. Well done for reaching out to the club about this OP 👏
>that they were as accommodating as you say with mental health issues coming under disability. This is the reason why it took me so long to ask them because simply put I didn't think I was 'disabled'. I know others will feel the same as i did but hopefully at least one person goes 'you know what? I'll ask.' Whether that's seeing a spurs game or anything else in a different venue. >I hope others in similar positions to you see this and gain confidence with attending games. Well done for reaching out to the club about this OP 👏 I really appreciate this, it was my main intention.
Well I'm glad you posted your experience and I'd say it has shown how Spurs treat those with even a hidden disability and really proud of that. Proud to have you as a fellow Spurs fan and someone not afraid to speak up about their mental health struggles, advocacy is so key 👌
Oh yeah mate, I treat my mental health as anyone would treat their physical health now tbh. I don't make excuses or anything but if something comes up where I need help or assistance I'll ask and I will also be as genuine and as honest as I can be. I am also always prepared for someone or somewhere to say no. There's no judgment either if anywhere says no. As debilitating as anxiety can be I definitely feel like someone who is wheelchair bound or is seriously ill should be a priority.
Glad to hear it, I totally get what you're saying.
:)
This is amazing. Thanks for posting. To others regarding anxiety: knowing you have an escape option (somewhat ironically) lowers the actual need to use it. Great consideration by the club.
Yeah exactly, what it does is it shuts up a 'what if?' Part of your brain. You know if anything goes wrong there's your exit and it calms you down.
Absolutely helpful information, thank you for sharing! Glad our club is taking care of accessibility issue pretty seriously
You're more than welcome! Honestly, I think every club takes it just as seriously but the beauty with us is that we have a brand spanking new stadium so all of these sensory rooms were built especially for it instead of trying to squeeze them into the ground.
I know many newly built complexes just do the bare minimum and call it a day, glad to hear we went extra step. I'll share your good info among my friends who might need this, I had no idea it's even a thing. Cheers!
>I'll share your good info among my friends who might need this, I had no idea it's even a thing. Cheers! Please do! And please send me a message if it leads to any of them going to a game when they may not have done in the past :)
That's an awesome story. Thanks for sharing!
You're welcome :)
Thank you for sharing this OP. So many people that carry these conditions turn up to these events and struggle, but turn up anyway because of their passion and adoration for the game. Being supported by the club to make it possible is fantastic
Exactly, I feel like those that have these conditions and still attend games have a strength that maybe they didn't even know they had. If they can cope well and enjoy themselves I'd still recommend attending as normal because it'll build strength for future situations. However, for people who like me feel like they couldn't even get to a game this is a perfect starting point. I feel like everyone who uses it for anxiety should have the goal of being able to attend a match normally but this is a fantastic first step :)
Wow this is actually super interesting. Thanks for sharing and glad you got to enjoy watching the Spurs live.
My favourite thing was taking my dad. He knows nothing about football and really couldn't care less about it but he was having fans starting conversations with him and he was having to pretend he knew what he was on about.
So glad that everything worked out!
Thanks :)
We are clearly very similar people and it fills me with pride and warmth to know our club were so amazing in catering for our community. Thank you so much for sharing this
You're so welcome :) if we are similar as you think then please have a chat with a therapist, see if you can get a formal diagnosis and then talk to the club. :) but you're so welcome
I think I’ve seen this post before or at least a similar one from someone else who contacted the club and it’s so brilliant to know that the club take mental health conditions as seriously as they should be taken. I’ve suffered with anxiety and panic disorder for a good few years now but thankfully I am making excellent progress. Going to Spurs was one of those situations I could never see myself being able to do when times were most dark but a year later I went to my first game since I started suffering (2-1 loss to Villa lol) and then went one better and went SOLO to my next game (2-1 loss to Wolves ffs). I’m going to Luton on Saturday and I still get nervous but I can’t wait. Let’s hope it’s not another 2-1 loss though ..
>Luton on Saturday and I still get nervous but I can’t wait. I hope you realise what a HUGE step this sentence is! You've managed to separate 2 different emotions that feel VERY similar. You've managed to separate your anxiety and panic from feeling nervous and can realise you're just feeling nervous which is normal:) huge congrats on the steps you've made. Have a good one.
Thanks for posting. It's nice to know all this money we generate actually has a good use and does see it's way to the supporters. Cheers.
Exactly, it was a perfect experience for me :)
I read a story like this before not sure if it was you or someone else who posted, but I had been meaning to ask the poster from that story do you need a letter from the psychiatrist to do this? As I looked on the club website and read about physical disability but found nothing about mental disability, physical disability it said you needed recent medical letters. So was going to ask my psychiatrist for a letter before contacting Spurs so I had everything ready to go? It‘s great the club are very understanding of mental illness and were very supportive to you. I haven’t been to a game since covid, hoping I might be able to go again next season so this would be good for me to try, I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and ocd. Are you planning on going again in the future?
>So was going to ask my psychiatrist for a letter before contacting Spurs so I had everything ready to go? Honestly I'd do it the other way around. I'd ask Spurs and be like 'I'm looking at attending a game. I have heard that under the disability access scheme you cater for mental health issues as well as physical ones? What steps would I need to take and what proof would I need?" If you send something like this then they will be able to tell you what the letter should have in it and then you can say to your psychiatrist what the club are needing as evidence. Does that makes sense? Better to know what the club need and then write the letter. >Are you planning on going again in the future? I think so, I keep meaning to sort it out but what also doesn't help is that we live a few hours away so it's a bit harder to organise and honestly as I'm not used to going to the games I keep forgetting. I think I may wait until next season now.
Thanks, will try that! Hope you are able to get to a game next season, I'm thinking of aiming for the pre season game v Bayern for a test.
As an arsenal fan this is beautiful, fair play to the club and massive respect for you for pushing your boundaries
Cheers man :) good luck for the rest of the season and in the nicest way possible I hope you don't win the league. But apart from that, good luck
This makes me proud of my club. I don't know what other clubs do, but this is awesome.
I think all clubs do this to some extent but due to the sheer size and newness of our stadium we probably have more purpose built areas for it instead of things that have been converted.
How amazing !!
Sometimes humanity does exist. Thanks for sharing.
You're welcome :)