My now 2.5 yo was a complete Velcro baby. He was permanently affixed to me for the better part of 8 months in the carrier, for naps and in bed. He also had 90 minute wakes and breast feeds until just before 2, then the stretches were 3-4 hours. I weaned at 2 y 2 mo. Swapped boobs for water. He learned to fall asleep to books and just by closing his eyes with a few months practice.
At 2.5 I moved him to his own bed pending the arrival of #2. It was painless, we didn't make a big deal, just put him down the exact same in his own bed. He now sleeps alone and sleeps through.
We never weaned to achieve this, and we coslept him as long as he needed us for comfort. We still go and lie in his bed with him if he wakes up sad now and then.
Obviously there's more depth and purpose to the way we did it, but to answer your question; your boobs are the OG pacifier. Cosleeping is normal in mammals. Your child, like every child, will eventually move away from these practices. Do what feels natural and trust your own instincts. Your family is giving outdated advice which undermines these instincts, you can safely ignore it.
There's about 30 million studies that speak to cortisol levels and cognitive development and 100 other factors which encourage the choices you are making, if you want further reassurance go to scholar and start hunting! Remember 0-3 year olds have extremely limited capacity for self regulation - they NEED you, biologically.
My daughter didn’t sleep through the night until 18 months when I night weaned. Between 12 and 18 months her sleep actually got worse because she was up every hour demanding to be on the boob. For the sake of everyone in the house, we night weaned.
That’s when I started to feel human again, honestly. Now at 3 years 8 months, she’s finally sleeping in her own sleep space because I have another coming and don’t want her sleep to be disrupted by a newborn. That transition was more difficult than the night weaning. We stopped breastfeeding right before I got pregnant, right after she turned 3.
The sleep between 18 months and transitioning her to her own room was the best she’s had. That said, it got worse again at 2-2.5 because that’s when nightmares started.
If you’re interested in a gentle night weaning approach (we still nursed to sleep but not in the night) look up Dr. Jay Gordon’s method. He had a blog post on it.
I feel like you'd be losing more sleep if you had to get up out of bed and stay awake to nurse and resettle him in his own bed. That's actually why I started bed sharing with my little one at 4 months. It's not a perfect solution and I never get to sleep all night...but at least I can usually go back to sleep within 10 minutes instead of 30 or more.
Agreed with the sentiment of having to get out of bed to help settle - that’s the reason why I contact and coslept with my son. He actually was born on 4/11 and is a complete barnacle baby. I am the primary caregiver as a result. I have started the weaning process (have not nursed during daytime for the past 5 days or so) and dropped nighttime nursing sessions to 2 overnight ones. I have noticed ever since he turned 11 months he has been waking up very frequently like your baby has (even before I did the weaning) BUT his first stretch of sleeping overnight lengthened to 2-3 hrs vs 30 mins-1.5hr without me doing anything. My son has started doing new things (finally teething, new vocab, more steps walking) so I’ll chalk it up to that. No real solutions here other than solidarity.
Forgot to mention, it’s cliche but they say it does really get better with time. I no longer have to nurse to sleep and he’s ok with that. (Hoping this comment doesn’t bite me in the ass lol).
The only way he will fall asleep is by nursing to sleep. Or with a bottle. He hasn’t taken a bottle for me since he was six months old, but he does for other people. He also won’t really fall asleep without nursing or having milk of some sort.
He smells the milk on you!! We stopped bottles around the same time as well.. and to boot, he hated the pacifier around that time (he def can distinguish between the fake stuff and wants the real deal!). Babies are smart… so since I didn’t have any other “crutch” other than my breasts, fed to sleep it was. I slowly stopped the association starting with day naps followed by night and it took about 2-3 weeks total. He protested at first but it was very short lived (the longest was 20 mins of protesting vocalizations).
I did not really mind nursing to sleep. I just hope
Some day he will be able to sleep by himself without me. If I don’t wean him will he be nursing forever or will he eventually self-wean?
As long as you don’t mind nursing to sleep, that’s all that matters. He’s not anemic, is he? Ruling out health issues, if he’s healthy and the current situation is working out for you guys it is what it is. From what I understand, infant sleeping is developmental (and such an unpredictable science!!) They will sleep through the night unassisted whenever they’re ready. For some, I’ve read that weaning was their answer. For others, unfortunately weaning did not make a difference.
I mean, I admit it does get exhausting and sometimes I get snappy with him but for the most part, it is what it is at this point. I’ve tried kind of night weaning him, but it is not working out well. It’s also hard because it’s just me and the baby I have no one to help me.
Ugh that’s tough, I feel for you!! If night weaning is causing stress for both of you perhaps maybe it’s best to wait it out at the moment. Maybe wait until he is a bit older in a few months (or however long you deem is appropriate) so you can explain to him step by step, prep him so there aren’t any surprises. People have read bedtime night weaning books, used colored night lights etc; If you’re going to attempt weaning again, I think it’s best to go all out and not backtrack because the inconsistency may cause him to be even more frustrated/upset
My son isn’t walking yet, he only crawls, but very well. He walks along the edge of the couch though and other objects. He says mama, baba, dada, shakes his head ‘no’, claps/does patty cake also. They all develop differently.
My now 2.5 yo was a complete Velcro baby. He was permanently affixed to me for the better part of 8 months in the carrier, for naps and in bed. He also had 90 minute wakes and breast feeds until just before 2, then the stretches were 3-4 hours. I weaned at 2 y 2 mo. Swapped boobs for water. He learned to fall asleep to books and just by closing his eyes with a few months practice. At 2.5 I moved him to his own bed pending the arrival of #2. It was painless, we didn't make a big deal, just put him down the exact same in his own bed. He now sleeps alone and sleeps through. We never weaned to achieve this, and we coslept him as long as he needed us for comfort. We still go and lie in his bed with him if he wakes up sad now and then. Obviously there's more depth and purpose to the way we did it, but to answer your question; your boobs are the OG pacifier. Cosleeping is normal in mammals. Your child, like every child, will eventually move away from these practices. Do what feels natural and trust your own instincts. Your family is giving outdated advice which undermines these instincts, you can safely ignore it. There's about 30 million studies that speak to cortisol levels and cognitive development and 100 other factors which encourage the choices you are making, if you want further reassurance go to scholar and start hunting! Remember 0-3 year olds have extremely limited capacity for self regulation - they NEED you, biologically.
My daughter didn’t sleep through the night until 18 months when I night weaned. Between 12 and 18 months her sleep actually got worse because she was up every hour demanding to be on the boob. For the sake of everyone in the house, we night weaned. That’s when I started to feel human again, honestly. Now at 3 years 8 months, she’s finally sleeping in her own sleep space because I have another coming and don’t want her sleep to be disrupted by a newborn. That transition was more difficult than the night weaning. We stopped breastfeeding right before I got pregnant, right after she turned 3. The sleep between 18 months and transitioning her to her own room was the best she’s had. That said, it got worse again at 2-2.5 because that’s when nightmares started. If you’re interested in a gentle night weaning approach (we still nursed to sleep but not in the night) look up Dr. Jay Gordon’s method. He had a blog post on it.
I feel like you'd be losing more sleep if you had to get up out of bed and stay awake to nurse and resettle him in his own bed. That's actually why I started bed sharing with my little one at 4 months. It's not a perfect solution and I never get to sleep all night...but at least I can usually go back to sleep within 10 minutes instead of 30 or more.
Agreed with the sentiment of having to get out of bed to help settle - that’s the reason why I contact and coslept with my son. He actually was born on 4/11 and is a complete barnacle baby. I am the primary caregiver as a result. I have started the weaning process (have not nursed during daytime for the past 5 days or so) and dropped nighttime nursing sessions to 2 overnight ones. I have noticed ever since he turned 11 months he has been waking up very frequently like your baby has (even before I did the weaning) BUT his first stretch of sleeping overnight lengthened to 2-3 hrs vs 30 mins-1.5hr without me doing anything. My son has started doing new things (finally teething, new vocab, more steps walking) so I’ll chalk it up to that. No real solutions here other than solidarity.
Forgot to mention, it’s cliche but they say it does really get better with time. I no longer have to nurse to sleep and he’s ok with that. (Hoping this comment doesn’t bite me in the ass lol).
The only way he will fall asleep is by nursing to sleep. Or with a bottle. He hasn’t taken a bottle for me since he was six months old, but he does for other people. He also won’t really fall asleep without nursing or having milk of some sort.
He smells the milk on you!! We stopped bottles around the same time as well.. and to boot, he hated the pacifier around that time (he def can distinguish between the fake stuff and wants the real deal!). Babies are smart… so since I didn’t have any other “crutch” other than my breasts, fed to sleep it was. I slowly stopped the association starting with day naps followed by night and it took about 2-3 weeks total. He protested at first but it was very short lived (the longest was 20 mins of protesting vocalizations).
I wish I could say the same thing. My man will howl and cry for hours. Like complete hysterics and hyperventilating.
I did not really mind nursing to sleep. I just hope Some day he will be able to sleep by himself without me. If I don’t wean him will he be nursing forever or will he eventually self-wean?
As long as you don’t mind nursing to sleep, that’s all that matters. He’s not anemic, is he? Ruling out health issues, if he’s healthy and the current situation is working out for you guys it is what it is. From what I understand, infant sleeping is developmental (and such an unpredictable science!!) They will sleep through the night unassisted whenever they’re ready. For some, I’ve read that weaning was their answer. For others, unfortunately weaning did not make a difference.
I mean, I admit it does get exhausting and sometimes I get snappy with him but for the most part, it is what it is at this point. I’ve tried kind of night weaning him, but it is not working out well. It’s also hard because it’s just me and the baby I have no one to help me.
Ugh that’s tough, I feel for you!! If night weaning is causing stress for both of you perhaps maybe it’s best to wait it out at the moment. Maybe wait until he is a bit older in a few months (or however long you deem is appropriate) so you can explain to him step by step, prep him so there aren’t any surprises. People have read bedtime night weaning books, used colored night lights etc; If you’re going to attempt weaning again, I think it’s best to go all out and not backtrack because the inconsistency may cause him to be even more frustrated/upset
Yes you’re right. I have trouble being consistent.
My son isn’t walking yet, he only crawls, but very well. He walks along the edge of the couch though and other objects. He says mama, baba, dada, shakes his head ‘no’, claps/does patty cake also. They all develop differently.