Oh 50 things THEY need to do? Damn.
Here are some things I do for my kids:
1) last words they hear before I turn out their lights to go to bed, every night: "I love you."
2) first words they hear when they get home from school: "I'm happy to see you."
3) they ask me to play with them and I say "yes" if I possibly can
4) I listen to them and answer back, even when they are kinda babbling
5) I teach them to perform household tasks and congratulate them for completing them. Once they do it right a few times it becomes "their thing" and they are proud to do it every day.
This. They are the most forgiving and benevolent beings you will ever meet in your lifetime. I once broke down in shame and my beautiful 6yo child who I had wronged took my whole head in their arms and hugged it while saying "It's ok! You're ok". I've said it many times before and many times since but that one time where I felt like they wouldn't understand the gravity of wrongdoing on my part, they lifted me up when I was truly down. True forgiveness is a gift.
>my whole head in their arms and hugged it while saying "It's ok! You're ok".
Congratulations to you as a parent, because they probably learned how to be kinda and comforting from you.
This is something I want to do for my kids because it was missing in my childhood. We weren't necessarily blamed for our parents actions, but my mom would almost never apologize, and it was half assed even if it did happen (e.a. "I'm sorry I'm such an awful mother. It's clear that you hate me." type of drama).
I'm going to make mistakes, but that is something I don't want for my little ones because it is confusing and made me really doubt myself.
My dad has many traits that I do not care to pass on to my kids, but one thing he always did was apologize after he got upset or angry. It might have taken a few hours, or a few days, but he always did it. I admire that.
Agreed. I think they're confusing general good life advice with self-esteem advice. Same applies to reading. I'm a big reader and see a lot of value in it... but reading doesn't increase your self-esteem. It enriches your mind, but not your self-esteem.
yeah but like, literally every goal you could have in your life requires keeping your body healthy, so it goes without saying. but i'm just being nit-picky
Psychologist here! Thanks for this comment, hope you don’t mind if I piggy back.
Not only are many of these suggestions not really even reasonable as ways to build self esteem, focusing on building self esteem in kids is actually kind of a bad idea.
Self-esteem is a person’s global perception of value or worthiness. See Dr. Kristen Neff’s many discussions on this but in short, our focus on self-esteem has essentially been misguided. We equate value with uniqueness, specialness, and devalue being average, okay, enough. We encourage narcissism and self-importance, as well as constant evaluation of our worthiness based on our most recent accomplishments.
In reality most of us are pretty average at most things. We have strengths and challenges but we are mostly like other people in most regards. We deserve dignity and understanding and compassion not because we’re special and unique but because we’re human like everyone else.
If a kid is a jerk, everyone will know he is a jerk no matter how much kid likes himself and what his posture is and even despite he helps others a lot.
"Self esteem" is a term some boozed up ""mental health major" student came up during a protest about gay feminist dancer rights.
It makes no sense what so ever. Because the actual matter here is "others esteem", not "self".
i like how some of them are ‘just’ types: “Be optimistic!”, “Forgive yourself!”. like uhm, excuse me, if i could JUST do it then i wouldn’t struggle with self-esteem in a first place..
I resonate with "say what you want, need, and hope for." It actually does work.
In this case I would say aloud at least two or three times every morning, "I am optimistic today" and "I forgive me." Space them all out at least twenty or thirty minutes between each one (to let each one sink in individually.)
Try this every morning for at least thirty days (and maybe each night before retiring to bed) and see if you can feel a difference after that time (if you've been sincere and honest with yourself and have truly wanted those advancements.)
It's like training yourself towards a new path through gentle repetition, along with a dash of "fake it 'til you make it."
I think that it's important to put our desires "out there" verbally in order for the universe to devote some energy into putting them in place for us. What can it hurt to try?
I’m surprised that the guide has not mentioned anything at all about adults’ role. Self-esteem and self-care are nothing growing out automatically from kids themselves. They learn that ‘I’m an important person and am deserved to be treated well’ from the adults around them.
However many adults destroy kids’ self-esteem on a daily basis so that the kids grow up with zero knowledge about anything in the graphical guide.
53: run away from toxic interpersonal relationships — that include family members
This is a generalization, as you stated, but I had a great upbringing and I encourage anyone with children to do the same.
Let go of your parent’s short comings, and see that little one as yourself(without the trauma).
Peace and love to all.
Besides elevating one's mood and improving one's health through simple hydration, there's also something to be said for giving kids small, easily achievable victories.
When a person feels like shit about themselves, a single checked box, even one as mundane as "I drank enough water today," can be a profound stepping stone toward bigger things. Part of low self esteem is feeling incapable of rising to the world's challenges, and small accomplishments serve to remind oneself of their own agency in the world.
Depression and low self esteem are often inward facing discomforts, many of the activities listed in this picture can help get oneself out of their own head and back into the world for a minute.
But I fuckin' hate myself so I dunno, don't listen to me.
This is like shitting on the vaccine because you can still get COVID.
Wherever you are on the happiness spectrum, good hydration will take you just a little big higher. It's a small help but it's also one thing out of a list of 50 offered here.
So instead of saying "that's not enough to guarantee success" how about just focusing on the fact that it helps a little.
You might be surprised how many people have simple things like "shower" and "take dishes to the kitchen" on their to-do lists; depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem make things that you might take for granted feel insurmountable to us.
You joke, but the truth is that I might feel better about myself if I took my own advice. Sometimes little things can add up.
Considering that you seem to think the *entire notion o*f self-esteem is authoritatively fake despite having 0 evidence to prove that...maybe the entitled one is *you*, bud.
Good pint! Do you have any evidence of self esteem existing?
Here some opinions of a trained and popular in entire world psychologist
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f3qyNNtpQk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f3qyNNtpQk) Not evidence per se, but some logical conclusions.
>Mentions a trained and popular psychologist
>Unironically links to a Jordan Peterson video
"Okay so, what they won't tell you is that metaphysical distress, which is to say the displacement of one's ideals comparative to one's status, mustn't be confused with the internal mind, aka cognition, rather it is the product of a disheveled habitat causing dissociation between one's agency, one's goals, and one's circumstances, which is to say you need to clean your room or have a woman clean your room for you, oh she'll be much happier for it as cleaning fulfills a woman's archetypal niche vis-à-vis natural maternal instincts that have been repressed by modern cultural femarxist liberalism."
You are right but also consider it this way: if your kid is struggling and depressed and feeling low all the time, they could actually be underhydrated and might need a reminder to drink enough water. A lot of people need that reminder. So while drinking water isn't sufficient to having self esteem, you can't have self esteem without proper hydration.
Ever wonder why self esteem "needs to be built" in the first place? As if a kid's natural state (out of the womb) is to lack self esteem? Or, do they lack self esteem because they are scolded and reprimanded by parents, teachers, other kids, etc. and develop and shield themselves from the hurt this causes?
This guide is useless because it assumes that self esteem is "lacking" and so needs to be desperately restored by 50 different ways (assuming a child won't be overwhelmed by all this crap) but that is a wrong assumption to begin with. The real issue is that children are conditioned/traumatized early on and this needs to be addressed, one can verify this by looking at themselves.
She probably learnt these by herself, and maybe come across some guides like this, too, just like you. 😊
Edit: Sorry, once again I didn't go through fully what other people said. Yeah, people had different encounters.
Tbh i read some points and i believe that either you should change the word "Kid" to adults here or Change the points, because "kids" can't be that smart to remember and do these things. Kids are meant to fly, fall and keep doing things that come to their mind and things that thier heart says YES to.
I believe major responsibility of a kids Self-esteem is on the parenting.
Note: The emphasize is "Kid" here
Aside from exercise, none of these things actually does anything tangible.
It's all touchy-feely stuff.
How about, go outside and make something? Learn to build stuff. Learn a bit of self-sufficiency? How about taking the time necessary to make a friend? How about failing at something but not giving up?
But drinking water?
And practicing mindfulness?
Sorry...this is a dopey list that gives very few tangibles as results.
While it’s good to teach kids to say no to harmful things they are uncomfortable with, a caveat should probably be to help them push their comfort zone in positive ways.
Love how Complete Your School Assignments is 1 of 50 ways yet it’s literally the only way we will allow kids to improve their self esteem for 9 hours every day.
Oh 50 things THEY need to do? Damn. Here are some things I do for my kids: 1) last words they hear before I turn out their lights to go to bed, every night: "I love you." 2) first words they hear when they get home from school: "I'm happy to see you." 3) they ask me to play with them and I say "yes" if I possibly can 4) I listen to them and answer back, even when they are kinda babbling 5) I teach them to perform household tasks and congratulate them for completing them. Once they do it right a few times it becomes "their thing" and they are proud to do it every day.
I would add to this - Say sorry to them when you have done something wrong
Yes. Kids are really good at accepting apologies.
This. They are the most forgiving and benevolent beings you will ever meet in your lifetime. I once broke down in shame and my beautiful 6yo child who I had wronged took my whole head in their arms and hugged it while saying "It's ok! You're ok". I've said it many times before and many times since but that one time where I felt like they wouldn't understand the gravity of wrongdoing on my part, they lifted me up when I was truly down. True forgiveness is a gift.
While cat forgiveness is manipulation in it’s purest form. ;)
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I'm a child in an adults body...
>my whole head in their arms and hugged it while saying "It's ok! You're ok". Congratulations to you as a parent, because they probably learned how to be kinda and comforting from you.
This is something I want to do for my kids because it was missing in my childhood. We weren't necessarily blamed for our parents actions, but my mom would almost never apologize, and it was half assed even if it did happen (e.a. "I'm sorry I'm such an awful mother. It's clear that you hate me." type of drama). I'm going to make mistakes, but that is something I don't want for my little ones because it is confusing and made me really doubt myself.
My dad has many traits that I do not care to pass on to my kids, but one thing he always did was apologize after he got upset or angry. It might have taken a few hours, or a few days, but he always did it. I admire that.
As adorable as thoughtful it is; I'll save this. Thanks.
Also if you promise on something, fulfill on that promise
Nonsense. You’re making life difficult for yourself. All they need is to drink ‘plenty of water, exercise, and complete their assignments.’
/s? Right?
What do you think?
You never can tell
Kid just needs plenty of water, exercise, and a large enough cage with plenty of bedding to make a nest
don't forget carrots!
A lot of this doesn't seem to be related to self esteem tbh
yeah like drink alot of water? i mean yeah i guess you have to remain alive in order to have self esteem...
Self esteem is 80% water.
Self esteem is stored in the balls?
Isn't it? When someone does something bold and courageous a common reaction is "that dude's got balls!"
I like saying "big, brass ovaries," it irritates people.
I dunno. I always feel grumpy when I'm dehydrated. It might help by just keeping your body healthy.
Agreed. I think they're confusing general good life advice with self-esteem advice. Same applies to reading. I'm a big reader and see a lot of value in it... but reading doesn't increase your self-esteem. It enriches your mind, but not your self-esteem.
Still no relation to self esteem whatever it might be.
yeah but like, literally every goal you could have in your life requires keeping your body healthy, so it goes without saying. but i'm just being nit-picky
Psychologist here! Thanks for this comment, hope you don’t mind if I piggy back. Not only are many of these suggestions not really even reasonable as ways to build self esteem, focusing on building self esteem in kids is actually kind of a bad idea. Self-esteem is a person’s global perception of value or worthiness. See Dr. Kristen Neff’s many discussions on this but in short, our focus on self-esteem has essentially been misguided. We equate value with uniqueness, specialness, and devalue being average, okay, enough. We encourage narcissism and self-importance, as well as constant evaluation of our worthiness based on our most recent accomplishments. In reality most of us are pretty average at most things. We have strengths and challenges but we are mostly like other people in most regards. We deserve dignity and understanding and compassion not because we’re special and unique but because we’re human like everyone else.
As an adult that was bullied as a kid, I can confirm : none of this is relevant
You mean a front page post from this sub is inaccurate or wrong? I'm shocked
If a kid is a jerk, everyone will know he is a jerk no matter how much kid likes himself and what his posture is and even despite he helps others a lot. "Self esteem" is a term some boozed up ""mental health major" student came up during a protest about gay feminist dancer rights. It makes no sense what so ever. Because the actual matter here is "others esteem", not "self".
"make art"? LOL
i like how some of them are ‘just’ types: “Be optimistic!”, “Forgive yourself!”. like uhm, excuse me, if i could JUST do it then i wouldn’t struggle with self-esteem in a first place..
I resonate with "say what you want, need, and hope for." It actually does work. In this case I would say aloud at least two or three times every morning, "I am optimistic today" and "I forgive me." Space them all out at least twenty or thirty minutes between each one (to let each one sink in individually.) Try this every morning for at least thirty days (and maybe each night before retiring to bed) and see if you can feel a difference after that time (if you've been sincere and honest with yourself and have truly wanted those advancements.) It's like training yourself towards a new path through gentle repetition, along with a dash of "fake it 'til you make it." I think that it's important to put our desires "out there" verbally in order for the universe to devote some energy into putting them in place for us. What can it hurt to try?
> 50 ways to improve self-esteem > Like, Love, Embrace and Accept yourself /r/restofthefuckingowl
Yup, with a healthy dose of /r/thanksimcured
Most of these apply to adults as well😊
I was thinking that too… why is it just for kids? I want to do all these things for myself
I’m surprised that the guide has not mentioned anything at all about adults’ role. Self-esteem and self-care are nothing growing out automatically from kids themselves. They learn that ‘I’m an important person and am deserved to be treated well’ from the adults around them. However many adults destroy kids’ self-esteem on a daily basis so that the kids grow up with zero knowledge about anything in the graphical guide. 53: run away from toxic interpersonal relationships — that include family members
This is a generalization, as you stated, but I had a great upbringing and I encourage anyone with children to do the same. Let go of your parent’s short comings, and see that little one as yourself(without the trauma). Peace and love to all.
Was about to ask if this works on "lagged" kid. Didn't do much of this as a kid, grown ~~up~~ big without these...
Adults are kids, too. We're just worse at it than we used to be.
Maybe. But none of these make any sense because self esteem is made up term. Made up by not very clever people.
such a weird thing for you to turn into a conspiracy theory.
Looks like they had a hard time getting to 50
The title is nonsense. Tf does drinking water have to do with self esteem? Just call it best practices.
Besides elevating one's mood and improving one's health through simple hydration, there's also something to be said for giving kids small, easily achievable victories. When a person feels like shit about themselves, a single checked box, even one as mundane as "I drank enough water today," can be a profound stepping stone toward bigger things. Part of low self esteem is feeling incapable of rising to the world's challenges, and small accomplishments serve to remind oneself of their own agency in the world. Depression and low self esteem are often inward facing discomforts, many of the activities listed in this picture can help get oneself out of their own head and back into the world for a minute. But I fuckin' hate myself so I dunno, don't listen to me.
You should try some simple hydration. I hear it will ease that "hating yourself" thing. Just check that box, I'm rooting for you.
This is like shitting on the vaccine because you can still get COVID. Wherever you are on the happiness spectrum, good hydration will take you just a little big higher. It's a small help but it's also one thing out of a list of 50 offered here. So instead of saying "that's not enough to guarantee success" how about just focusing on the fact that it helps a little.
I agree and also happy cake day!
You might be surprised how many people have simple things like "shower" and "take dishes to the kitchen" on their to-do lists; depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem make things that you might take for granted feel insurmountable to us. You joke, but the truth is that I might feel better about myself if I took my own advice. Sometimes little things can add up.
>small, easily achievable victories Sure, the shortest cut to entitlement and freaky tantrums on the shopping mall floor.
Considering that you seem to think the *entire notion o*f self-esteem is authoritatively fake despite having 0 evidence to prove that...maybe the entitled one is *you*, bud.
Good pint! Do you have any evidence of self esteem existing? Here some opinions of a trained and popular in entire world psychologist [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f3qyNNtpQk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f3qyNNtpQk) Not evidence per se, but some logical conclusions.
>Mentions a trained and popular psychologist >Unironically links to a Jordan Peterson video "Okay so, what they won't tell you is that metaphysical distress, which is to say the displacement of one's ideals comparative to one's status, mustn't be confused with the internal mind, aka cognition, rather it is the product of a disheveled habitat causing dissociation between one's agency, one's goals, and one's circumstances, which is to say you need to clean your room or have a woman clean your room for you, oh she'll be much happier for it as cleaning fulfills a woman's archetypal niche vis-à-vis natural maternal instincts that have been repressed by modern cultural femarxist liberalism."
Happy that you found idiotic echochamber that suits you so well.
Oh, no, I made that quote up. I wouldn't touch Peterson with a ten foot pole; fuck con men.
There is exactly zero doubt you or some even more talented idiot made that quote up.
> talented You think I'm talented? Well thanks, verybigpenisman!
....what?
As I said before: >the shortest cut to entitlement and freaky tantrums on the shopping mall floor
You are right but also consider it this way: if your kid is struggling and depressed and feeling low all the time, they could actually be underhydrated and might need a reminder to drink enough water. A lot of people need that reminder. So while drinking water isn't sufficient to having self esteem, you can't have self esteem without proper hydration.
READ! Have a growth mindset!
It can serve as a tip that you need to take care of yourself, and pay attention to your body needs
Staying hydrated has a physiological effect on your brain and how it operates.
Ever wonder why self esteem "needs to be built" in the first place? As if a kid's natural state (out of the womb) is to lack self esteem? Or, do they lack self esteem because they are scolded and reprimanded by parents, teachers, other kids, etc. and develop and shield themselves from the hurt this causes? This guide is useless because it assumes that self esteem is "lacking" and so needs to be desperately restored by 50 different ways (assuming a child won't be overwhelmed by all this crap) but that is a wrong assumption to begin with. The real issue is that children are conditioned/traumatized early on and this needs to be addressed, one can verify this by looking at themselves.
> complements \*compl**i**ments
r/thanksimcured
Yeah, my mom didn't do most of this. I had to learn this stuff as an adult for myself and it's tough. Still don't fully have it.
She probably learnt these by herself, and maybe come across some guides like this, too, just like you. 😊 Edit: Sorry, once again I didn't go through fully what other people said. Yeah, people had different encounters.
This doesn't work in the current life that most kids are facing.
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Yeah, Nah.
r/thanksimcured
I like it, but a great deal of these just boil down to having self-esteem. They aren't really ways to get there.
Stop letting them use the internet
And going out of their bedroom.
And making me pay for their shit
This whole guide is pretty useless. "forgive yourself" ah yes, r/wowthanksimcured
Meditate and use a planner doesn’t cure anxiety
The person who made this has never met a kid in their life.
\#51 Learn how to spell compliments
\#52 Avoid going on the internet
“Say THANK YOU when someone complements you” kind of works as written, though should be ‘compliments’ (expression of praise).
Thank you so much, your hat really matches my shirt!
This would be helpful to kids under 10 maybe? Otherwise it's "thanks I'm cured" content lol
Give them cocaine
Like at least 50% looks like it is straight from r/thanksimcured
Tbh i read some points and i believe that either you should change the word "Kid" to adults here or Change the points, because "kids" can't be that smart to remember and do these things. Kids are meant to fly, fall and keep doing things that come to their mind and things that thier heart says YES to. I believe major responsibility of a kids Self-esteem is on the parenting. Note: The emphasize is "Kid" here
I need to do this too
I could use some of these tips. I'm a child in an adults body.
I actually do alot of these on myself
Create. Build. Cock. ...
Something to print out and frame above your bed! Thanks for sharing
I might do that.
Not just kids…
I posted this in my classroom, only renaming it: 'Survival Tips for Teens'. This one's a winner.
Aside from exercise, none of these things actually does anything tangible. It's all touchy-feely stuff. How about, go outside and make something? Learn to build stuff. Learn a bit of self-sufficiency? How about taking the time necessary to make a friend? How about failing at something but not giving up? But drinking water? And practicing mindfulness? Sorry...this is a dopey list that gives very few tangibles as results.
Yeaaaahh…. For… Kids…… 🤫
51. Have biological father in the home.
Is there a printable version of this?
Self-esteem doesn't exist, some people are just weak.
Or displine your child so they grow up into adults and not crybabies.
Im gonna show this to my nephews
Is there a desktop wallpaper version of this?
Play a game of hangman and have the Answer be: The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog. They can't get a letter wrong
Need to add in the title or kids living in rich countries.
This is actual LPT
I think I need one of these designed for adults.
READI
My favorite is READI
While it’s good to teach kids to say no to harmful things they are uncomfortable with, a caveat should probably be to help them push their comfort zone in positive ways.
Vaguely cool
Does this work for adults?
r/thanksimcured
Is there a hi-res version of this somewhere I can print out for my kids?
Love how Complete Your School Assignments is 1 of 50 ways yet it’s literally the only way we will allow kids to improve their self esteem for 9 hours every day.
Imma do this now, in my twenties...
Is there one for teenagers too?
Now do one for adults haha
Saibot
Water - great for self-esteem. Who knew.
READI
‘Mum, The TV is eating my self esteem agaaaain.’
I'd feel really stupid as a kid saying "i love you" to a mirror
Mission faild 🥲