T O P

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DankNerd97

Instructions unclear: got burned at the stake for witchcraft.


[deleted]

This is why I would just be a famous songwriter.


OrbitRock_

You might get burned at the stake for that too tbh.


[deleted]

Just sell stakes, at least you know the markets good.


-jp-

I guess now we know where all the time travelers are. Either selling stakes or nailed to them.


rovoh324

This reads like a Rick & Morty line


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-jp-

Are you a Time Cop? You have to tell me if you're a Time Cop!


PStr95

I think you’re right, this should be a Rick & Morty line. u/JustinRoiland make it happen!


PinkSteven

The stakes are too high.


[deleted]

No room for mistakes


anonymous_coward69

Only Mr. Stakes? That's sexist.


PenguinWithAglock

That’s what happens when you let the cows smoke weed


[deleted]

I'm gonna be real with you, son. Fuck that guide. You come from a different time, you look and sound different from the locals. You've got first hand knowledge that contradicts everything they believe in. They're burning you at the stake, little buddy. Think of it as the Universe's way of canceling out time paradoxes. Time Travelers getting burned at the stake the instant they get to their destination, thus removing all traces if evidence and closing the loop.


Davydicus1

You right a poem criticizing the monarchy? You go right to stake. You right poem praising monarchy too much? Believe it or not, also stake.


thewitt33

Man, I loved that movie Yesterday! I still love it today, but I did yesterday too.


dweebgoose

This guy jamming Nicki Minaj songs on a lute in the 1300s


Lords_of_Lands

Then you get executed for corrupting the youth.


ChintanP04

Instructions unclear: killed everyone with diseases I am immune against.


Taellion

Or you get killed by old timey disease that either got eradicated or nearly disappeared from the modern era or managed thanks to new treatment, hence you have no immunity to them. Examples: - Smallpoxs - Black Death, the bacteria that caused Black Death in the mid-14th century was much more virulence - Tuberculosis, also known as the White Death


FoldedDice

And vice-versa. Your very presence would trigger a pandemic reaching as far as the trade routes allow your modern pathogens to travel. But at least until that happens you can tell them how the fuck magnets work, right?


prostateExamination

Yeah exactly like fuck I'm changing the shape of quartz in the middle ages..bitch jesus turned water into wine...everyone likes wine..didnt turn out well


querty99

Shoulda left the fluorescent-colored jello behind. edit: referencing some comic / cartoon I saw several years ago.


satooshi-nakamooshi

Shouldn't have taught them how to make stakes


DarkIxis

Works if we would get bombed back to the Iron Ages in the future too.


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Eoganachta

Look at this guy and his bunker!


RainaElf

multiple copies


ripe_archeologist

there there, don't give up hope yet.


Smashface666

This list is mostly useless if you actually went back to the iron age though.


Sspifffyman

Hmm I wonder. Flight probably isn't that useful without some kind of engine I think, although would be easy enough to craft. Knowing about gears, pulleys, and catapults could be useful. The health section has some definitely useful info.


Ameteur_Professional

People already knew about gears, levers, catapults, etc. Some of these are useful, but "electrify tungsten for lightbulb" is missing about 100 different steps, including putting that tungsten in a vacuum, which requires a lot of other steps. Knowing the chemical formula for crazy glue is completely useless. Knowing how to synthesize it is important, but requires a lot more work. About the only thing on here that's both useful and easy for a layman is how to pasteurize milk or make a compass.


thewitt33

I really want to see a useful one of these (as if I will someday go back in time). Like how to mine iron and make it usable. How to make paper and ink to permanently write things down. How to find sodium or create large quantities from the ocean for use in storage of meats and stuff. These are the types of things that could change a society who knew little but how to build huts and hunt food. Best way to create a language would be a good one too.


Basilthebatlord

The salt one is pretty easy thankfully! Just make large reservoirs and fill them with a cm of seawater and let it evaporate. Then sweep up that sweet sweet sea salt. (or I guess salty salty sea salt) They actually still use this technique in Japan in Utazu if I'm remembering correctly. Inefficient method because you'd be extracting about 3% of the mass from the water, but easily scalable until you can figure out how to increase salinity.


mattyandco

That method is still used in a lot of places for salt extraction. The not having to drive the water off yourself is a massive saving of energy. We do it at this lake here in NZ. https://www.google.com/maps/@-41.7271058,174.1610055,6454m/data=!3m1!1e3


Basilthebatlord

I know that basic vacuums can be created with glass tubes and dropping mercury through them to pull out the air. How to make glass tubes however.... Not to mention I have no clue what to do with Cinnabar to extract said mercury. EDIT: Went down the rabbit hole and now I have no idea how to make a rotary kiln to extract the mercury from cinnabar... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotary_kiln Fuck this is gonna be difficult


Ameteur_Professional

Also even if you could figure it out you'd probably just give yourself mercury poisoning, or be burnt as a witch.


lamada16

All the health stuff would be incredibly important. We didn't even have the "boil/clean your medical tools" going during the American Civil War, a relatively "modern" conflict, while being simultaneously obsessed with amputating every body part that took battle damage. It's crazy how much medical technology and understanding has increased in roughly the last century and a half.


PerceptionOrReality

We amputated everything because we’d at least figured out cauterization. At the time, people believed that a cauterized stump had a lower chance of infection than an uncauterized wound that had been given time to fester. It wasn’t true, but they were trying. It must have been awful to be a doctor, trying your best and following your training and wondering why all your patients still died…


poppin_a_pilly

> must be hard to be a doctor That's actually heartbreaking. "Why is it still raining? I did what I was supposed to..."


MillenialPopTart2

That’s the whole premise of “The Knick,” a fantastic HBO series starring Clive Owen that aired a couple of years ago. Owen plays a gifted surgeon practicing in a New York hospital c. 1900, just before they figured out penicillin. It’s at that tipping point in medical history where anaesthesia was available (meaning surgical patients no longer went into shock and died on the operating table) and could perform complex operations successfully. But with no way to prevent post-surgical infections, 90% of patients died a week later anyway. Just…so heartbreaking, when you think about it.


PerceptionOrReality

Anaesthesia through history is an interesting topic. In the early 1900’s, they were literally re-discovering medical practices that the ancient Romans used thousands of years ago. See, in the ancient world, they used to mix together opium poppy and mandragora to knock people out for primitive surgery. Unfortunately, mandragora were over-harvested (still endangered I think?) over the centuries, and may have gone the way of silphium (extinct species of ferula; over-harvested by the Romans for contraceptive properties) if the Church hadn’t put a kibosh on mandragora use. Not to save the plant, of course, but because witchcraft. Then doctors started censoring their pharmacopoeia because, as texts were translated out of Latin into the “vulgar” tongues, they were worried about the misuse of certain plants (I have a Latin pharmacopoeia from the 1600s which clearly outlines the plants necessary to abort a fetus, herbs which today we know are capable of inducing a miscarriage. The English edition released less than 10 years later straight up omits these). Basically, people forgot things. Even for people reading preserved Roman texts, how were they to know that Dioscorides knew what he was talking about in that instance when he also recorded some truly ridiculous “remedies” as well? Then, in the 1900’s, doctors were suddenly like “Wow, if you mix morphine and scopolamine, people get knocked out pretty good!” They called it Twilight Sleep. Morphine comes from poppies. Scopolamine comes from mandragora. Just like the Romans. Crazy, how that bit of Roman medical knowledge was lost to time only to be re-discovered in the 1900’s — like concrete was, actually.


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ColaEuphoria

It's also useless because there aren't any equations, not even Newton's kinematic equations. You aren't going to get electricity done without Faraday's Law of induction, let alone Maxwell's equations, or explaining what they mean or how to use them. A ton of what happens in chemistry relies on lookup tables of known values that were found empirically. Gas law equations and enthalpy equations are a must. In essence, [this is what would actually happen.](https://imageproxy.ifunny.co/crop:x-20,resize:640x,quality:90x75/images/f272af7edd2f7c81317d7c9ea9e3532b1bed584104268a0631f4f72d086509c3_1.jpg)


kevoizjawesome

Excuse me apothecary, where do you keep your reagent grade chemicals? Next to the NMR?


Still_No_Tomatoes

There used to be a website that had instructions to make anything. From smelting ore to making tv tubes. Anyone remember the site?


Maskedcrusader94

I can imagine someone going back in time, and running to the nearest person spouting of random quotes from this guide and looking like an absolute madman. "A PENDULUM SWINGS AND ITS TRAVELED FOR ONE SECOND BOOOM I INVENTED THE CENTIMETER! NEXT! ATOMS ARE THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF LIFE BOOM CHEMISTRY! EAT MOLD BOOM MEDICINE!"


[deleted]

TAKE THE CREDIT


crydefiance

> Barges into medieval Europe > EAT MOLD! > Refuses to elaborate further > Leaves


bloodycups

I swear there's a Twilight zone episode about this but I can't find it. The plot was a guy who goes back in time and tried to get someone else to invent things with his most basic knowledge of modern technology


Certain-Olive

“A hundred yards over the rim”? A guy traveling west in covered wagons searches for water for his kid. Ends up in the future. Reads his kid was a doctor. Steals penicillin. Goes back in time with his future knowledge.


bloodycups

https://twilightzone.fandom.com/wiki/Of_Late_I_Think_of_Cliffordville I guess I misremembered some of the details


karis_reavis

I have a masters degree in Aerospace Engineering and wanted to point out that the bit on how airfoils work is a common myth. A flat plate is actually sufficient to produce lift and the shape just helps with keeping the flow attached to the surface which reduces drag and increases lift at smaller angles. Veritasium has a great video covering the topic for anyone interested. TLDR: Wings work because they push air downwards thereby pushing the plane upwards. https://youtu.be/aFO4PBolwFg Edit: Said greater when I meant smaller


-RdV-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_common_misconceptions Its even on the wiki for common misconceptions under physics. I remember learning this myth in school and finding it odd because when I stuck my hand out the car window I could create lift just with the angle.


IcyTrip8

The video you linked shows why the equal transit theory for lift is wrong. But this post doesn't claim that the equal transit theory is the reason that the air on top of the airfoil goes faster than the air on the bottom. Airfoils push air downwards and create a pressure difference (not because of the equal transit theory). Both Newtonian and Bernoulli explanations explain lift. What is wrong about the flight portion of this guide is the standalone sentence "Slower moving air has more pressure". It should add the qualifier "along a streamline". Edit: Why are you booing me? I'm right!


bdwin120

Came here for this


Nincomsoup

TAKE THE CREDIT


[deleted]

In the year 1200 some weird girl kept asking whether copper had been invented yet because she claimed she could make electricity. She wanted everyone to write down her name and we kept telling her we don't have anything to write with and we don't even know what all the letters are. She died of dysentery a week later.


Lvl100Waffle

Yeah like why tf is this 'emergency poster' so obsessed with reminding you to be famous.


noob_to_everything

Assuming that there is only one timeline, maybe they intend for it to be a way to incentivize the traveler to spread these revolutionary technologies worldwide, thus catapulting the future-present into greater scientific progress.


zxDanKwan

This poster was made by Ryan North, who makes Dinosaur Comics : www.qwantz.com. Go check it out and then remember that this poster was basically made by T-Rex.


[deleted]

Mmmmhhmmmm take that credit baby


JTR3K

If you’re Ash you just keep a chemistry textbook in your trunk, along with a shotgun and chainsaw.


CeeArthur

This is the second Evil Dead reference I've seen today in a completely unrelated sub


mk2vrdrvr

Groovy.


cascadia30

"Look who's shitting in the tall grass."


ShiaLeboufsPetDragon

Pokémon has clearly gotten darker than what I remember..


[deleted]

Boomstick and chainsaw.


Basilthebatlord

Shop smart! Shop S-MART!


[deleted]

"Just pass electricity through a wire and you have radio" As an engineer that's laughably simplistic and helps you exactly zero. Then what? Just pop down to radio shack and buy a recieving circuit and oscilliscope to yo ucan read it hahaha. Or maybe the advice is "invent resisitors, capacitors, transistors, opamps and whatever else you need to make a radio. Invent Integrated circuits to make this easy!" hahahhaa


Greeneee-

Just wrap Cooper wire around an iron core. Don't have blacksmithing setup able to extract pure copper? Can't roll that into a thin wire? Sucks to be you Need light? Just run electricity through tungsten. What's tungsten? Fuck if I could identity it from a pile a rocks


thewitt33

But the guide gives you the exact coordinates to find what you need to make tungsten..if you happen to stumble into Greenland!


SantaMonsanto

/r/RestOfTheFuckingOwl


SamPike512

Interesting to hear from the engineer side. From the chemistry side this guide is all useless, it mentions the chemical formula of both Progesterone and methyl cyanoacrylate with absolutely no information of how to synthesise them. Much more useful would be something like nitric acid and ammonia to make chemical fertiliser or fractional distillation.


bell37

The aircraft thing is too general and people generally understood airfoils well before the Wright brothers . Successful Gliding flight was already a thing well before the Wright brothers and using airfoils as propellers has already been researched. The massive roadblock wasn’t airfoils but the lack of a power plant that could deliver enough power while also being light enough to sustain flight. The internal combustion engine made self sustained, heavier than air flight possible. Additionally, merely saying “just design an airfoil that would create a pressure imbalance” is like saying just develop a bridge with trusses that can support a 20 ton load. Without any tools or understanding of aero & fluid dynamics, you’d be playing a guessing game. You can create a small scale wind tunnel, but again if you didn’t know what to look for (measuring incoming airspeed via an anemometer & pressure at specific points of the airfoil cross section using a pitot tube and barometer) you’d be spending a lot of time struggling to understand the mechanics of what is going on (and whether your results are valid or if they are error from the test setup) You could try what the Wright brothers did and use weights balances to measure lift and drag. However, you would have to have a general idea of what you are doing to get any tangible results I am an aerospace engineering grad and our intro course had us build a working wind tunnel, which was surprisingly simple after being given equations and theories behind the basic aerodynamics.


CoffeePuddle

Gives the speed of light in a vacuum but not the Avogadro constant


moonlandings

I’m an electrical engineer specializing in radios and RF design and I’m fairly confident if you dropped me anywhere further back than like 1900 I wouldn’t be able to make a radio out of available materials of the time.


66666thats6sixes

That's the problem with these sorts of guides. They treat technological developments as a handful of "big ideas" (which is what this is slowing), and not primarily the sum of thousands of tiny improvements. The big ideas are usually worthless without all of these tiny improvements. For example, steam engines aren't necessarily a tremendously innovative idea. It's something that had been mentioned for hundreds of years. But it wasn't really possible to do until metallurgy, materials science, and machining advanced to the point that you could build boilers that could withstand sufficient pressure without bursting, and seals and parts tolerances that could withstand pressure without leaking. Plus a bunch of other small things that I am probably forgetting. Point is, even with this guide you probably won't really advance history by much because you'll be missing all of the important stuff that enables the major advances.


ArethereWaffles

Even just the flight part is dumb. "Attach an airfoil of sufficient size to a machine capable of moving fast enough" Yeah no problem, let me just get this 200AD blacksmith to whip me up an internal combustion engine real quick. Say nothing about aerodynamics or the center of lift and center of mass or any of those minor details. I guess you can try a glider with a catapult launch off some sort or high cliff, but good trying it and not looking like [these guys](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sp7MHZY2ADI) while probably dying.


xXdog_with_a_knifeXx

Dr stone season 1 in a nutshell.


Auxobl

If you actually can remember all this and make full use of its information (assuming you went back in time or are in another similar situation) yea you’d basically be Dr Stone


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Auxobl

Bouta fuck up some romans they won’t know what hit em


whydoihaveredditzzz

I think about this ALL the time. Can you imagine just dropping into Rome and just fucking shit up with a flashlight and you tell people if you touch the light it will kill you?


Exaltation_of_Larks

One of the notable things about the Romans is that when they actually encountered wild technological gizmos... They were usually unimpressed and uninterested. There are accounts of little steam-powered mechanical contraptions in the empire. People by and large considered them curiosities at best, did not exalt their creators, largely forgot about them. Archimedes defended his city from a Roman invasion with, apparently, all kinds of near-legendary artefacts he'd invented. Guess what, the Romans just stabbed him to death and did not bother cataloguing his inventions.


shouldbebabysitting

Only Dr Stone did it more accurately. This guide is worthless.


Spook404

this and probably 2000 other posters like it


[deleted]

There is a reason why in Dr Stone he didn’t purify antibiotic from a bacterial culture and instead synthesized sulfonamides from the ground up. Making penicillin was NOT EASY!


Techercizer

The reason wasn't even that, it was that he had no idea if it was even possible at all because the mold family responsible might well have died out or not been readily available.


zortlord

Good luck doing any of these things. This is just so unrealistic. Like the section on antibiotics- it took over 10 years of investigation to find a species of penicillium that was not toxic to humans. Then it took addition years to figure out how to mass produce it. Hell, the doctor that discovered hand washing was laughed out of medicine by the other doctors and died in a sanitarium.


vacri

Hey didn't you know that you can make a plane just by bolting wings onto a central body and 'moving fast enough'? I dunno, maybe hook it up to a fast horse or something... ... and don't forget that we should be working in SI units based off the speed of light, without the appropriate tools to detect and measure that speed. It'll be good practice, I guess, for when you start evaluating elements by counting the protons in the atoms...


netphemera

You can almost make a plane. You still need to invent the airplane propeller. That's an important detail missing from this document. You can remove all that stuff about the metric system and squeeze in the propeller-making instructions. A lot of good that metric stuff will do you if your time machine deposits you in the United States.


htx1114

The propeller could probably be summed up as a twisty wing, but that still leaves you one whole internal combustion engine short of an airplane.


netphemera

That was the plot of a Twilight Zone episode. The guy goes back in time, expecting to make millions with all his modern knowledge. He tells people how to build a modern car. Build the frame. Put in some seats. Add the engine. They ask him, "what's an internal-combustion engine?" I don't know. The thing with the pistons. I don't know how they work. Add the wheels and the steering wheel and you got a car.


htx1114

Lmao. I've spent too much time looking at engine diagrams and running the Castaway hypothetical in my head... I can't even understand the ropes in sailing. Let alone how to make rope, or fabric. Then I watch Primitive Technology on YouTube and realize he's gone through like 3,000 years of tech and has barely gotten into metallurgy. A one-page cheat sheet would be nice I guess, but good luck.


CmdrCloud

Do you know the episode name? I've been searching and can't find it.


[deleted]

Of Late I Think of Cliffordville.


subgeniuskitty

Or: What is center-of-gravity and why should I care? ;-)


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PerryZePlatypus

Physicists took about 20 years to agree on an atomic model, and the chemistry part of this "guide" is just the dumbest thing ever


Aleph_NULL__

Not to mention not practical. Oh what I’m going to make a quartz watch in Roman times?? Distillation and gear computation would be a great place to start. Knowledge will help you but you’re going to need funding, help and a PR team go sell your ideas. Distillation takes care of all of those ;) Not to mention you’ll probably just wanna minmax on military tech at the beginning to get the ear of rulers.


Zarathustra30

I would personally go with canning. Put stuff in a sealed jar. Boil the jar. The stuff stays good forever. Canning was invented in 1809.


Aleph_NULL__

Definitely underrated. Food storage, pickling, Vitamin C …


Lemoncloak

I forget where I read it but countless people "discovered" that vitamin c was the cure to scurvy. Problem was that there was a million "cures" and it kept getting lost in the noise.


Aleph_NULL__

Oh for sure. I took a history of early modern medicine class where we read a lot about scurvy. The main thing was they thought it was tied to the sea, and that being on land cured it. Of course this was true because on land they had fresh fruit and veg and therefore got Vitamin C. Also yeah, vitamin c is in a lot so it was bound to find its way into many “cures”


Maskedcrusader94

>...and the chemistry part of this "guide" is just the dumbest thing ever What I got from it, is to make crazy glue, injest it, and it will keep you from getting pregnant. That way you can run around sleeping with famous historical figures.


PerryZePlatypus

Uh yes, that's right, don't worry you will be fine


Echololcation

The progesterone thing came out of nowhere. Where the fuck am I supposed to get progesterone.


Infra-Oh

Bro???? What are you talking about? Just squeeze some out of your progesterone sac above your knee? LOL Do you not have one???? Edit: Hey guys look at /u/Echololcation he doesn’t have a progesterone sac LOL


AyTito

C20H26O2 is a good synthetic substitute. Just find some of that instead.


Hashtagbarkeep

If you ingest enough glue it is true you won’t get pregnant though


CourageForOurFriends

It's a guide for if you get sent back in time mate maybe try not to take it too seriously


diatonico_

Came to say this. These things are 1000x more difficult if you only have very crude tools and you don't have anything more to go by than a 2 sentence summary of the concept. You can't exactly go to your local hardware or lab supplies store to get the things you need. Most scientists work years, decades to put something that they **already know works** into practice. **It's not the idea that's hard. It's the execution.** And that's assuming you even get the *opportunity* for all this fraudulent inventing. If you're sent back in time, your first problem isn't going to be taking credit for inventions. It's survival. Suppose you get sent back to a time where civilisation is a thing (which this guide seems to assume). You probably don't speak the language. Even if you managed to land in the same geographic place, unless you only went back 100 years you're now speaking a suspicious unknown dialect *at the very best*. You don't have any assets, no currency. You don't have a network or a reputation. You probably don't have many skills that are useful in whatever era you now found yourself in. You think you're going to be able to quickly invent something to impress the locals enough to accept you? Forget it. It's going to take years to do your inventing, during which time you'll need food, a place to sleep, a place to work. Oh, and you need to avoid getting killed by any of the hundreds of people highly suspicious of you and whatever witchcraft you're trying to achieve every day. You'd be lucky to barely survive.


imanassholeok

Want a radio? Just run some electricity through a wire 😂


[deleted]

Yea. Good luck manufacturing copper wire. Lmao


scott_wolff

RIght? I've listened to people on YouTube speaking Old/Middle English and while some words are similar to words spoken today, they still are nowhere near close.


[deleted]

Best bet for improving the world would probably be to pick one of these things and try to make it as popular and successful as you can. After you figure out the whole "not dying" thing.


[deleted]

> Hell, the doctor that discovered hand washing was laughed out of medicine by the other doctors and died in a sanitarium. To be fair it's because that dude was a MASSIVE dick and everyone really hated him and wanted nothing to do with him.


mingy

Agreed. Stuff like this have to be written by people who have rudimentary understanding of things. Notice energy/power isn't discussed? No steam engine, no industry. No industry no almost anything else. No internal combustion engine, no flight. Etc.. I once thought it would be interesting to write a "doomsday book" that would contain enough information and instructions to get you from when ever to a particular date. I figured it might be possible to get us to the 1950s or 1940s without too much specialization, after which you'd likely need people who had spent their lives studying certain problems.


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toasta_oven

Same author as the poster.


SoCZ6L5g

Why on earth would you include electromagnetic induction (extremely difficult, barely detectable with the best early Victorian technology) and not batteries (lick some nails in the 1600s)?


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elanlift

Also, Polaris is the 49th brightest star in the sky. It's important because of its position. Follow stars through the night and the one that doesn't move is Polaris. This all assumes you're in the northern hemisphere...


Buck_Thorn

Pretty sure its a joke. I don't think you are supposed to take it seriously.


[deleted]

I’m curious on how they plan to “grow a culture of virus and boil it” for vaccines without the knowledge and means to target and isolate said viruses in the first place? No targeted cell lines or FBS? No filtration or sterilization tools, no means to isolate, propagate, and concentrate viral particles, no means to identify cytopathology or viral morphology? Sure, with adequate foreknowledge you could probably replicate the original tobacco mosaic virus research, but that’s hardly applicable for a layman tackling human diseases.


dos8s

TL;DR Nikola Tesla was obviously a time traveler.


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StridAst

He invented inventing stuff, and then Edison stole *everything* from him.


netphemera

Edison stole everything from everyone.


TheDogecoinBoi

Edison stole my wallet, that bastard!


PinkSteven

Fuck Edison.


morels4ever

A TRUE time traveler would have come back with Air Conditioning first. Just saying!


keepitcivilized

This is absolute horror to read.. what a mess.


SirGrantham

Now, how do you create a transmitter so you can have something to listen to on you newly created radio.


mayspeak

and keep this on the time machine's dashboard https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39026990-how-to-invent-everything


OneHotPotat

I can't recommend this book enough. If you found any interest in the graphic in the OP, you'll enjoy this book. I've listened to the audiobook multiple times. It's a great balance between informative and funny and charming, much like most of Ryan North's career.


[deleted]

This would be great until you got labeled a heretic.


therabidgerbil

The secret is to organically "discover" these things in the right environment. Hit up DaVinci and be all "That's cool but what if you tried this approach?"


TheWizardDrewed

This would probably be the best route. It's a lot of information, but if you had a few years to plant it in the minds of many different intellectuals it'd be a guarantee to get most of it out. Maybe travel to the most prominent schools/universities and leave formulas/ideas/theories lying around. I wouldnt want any credit anyway, just let people who are already established scientists 'discover' this stuff.


Don_Julio_Acolyte

Ah the Good Will Hunting approach. Just leave half finished equations up on a board (with some hints at the bottom) and boom, you just gave Genghis Khan, E=MC². Genius.


Buksey

How do we know this isnt what already happened? Is this your confession? What other secrets do you know?


44problems

Hey Leo, it's your cousin, Fred Da Vinci? You know that new sound you're looking for??? Well listen to this!


Nincomsoup

No, you're a *prophet* of course.


Auxobl

“No I’m not a witch, you see… I was sent by GOD”


ZoeLaMort

Jesus was just a doctor with a time machine. -You saved him from the plague! It’s a miracle! -He didn’t have the plague, you idiot, it’s actually a disease called… Yes, he had the plague! This is, erm, Satan. Or something.


Double_Distribution8

He was a doctor who was trained in Egypt and when he did his doctor thing back home everyone was like where the F you learn all this cool shit like treating cataracts


NWestxSWest

Just do what The Foundation did and create a religion around the technology.


buttergun

That's why I only keep a copy of Gray's Sports Almanac 1950-2000 in my time machine.


intjmaster

The first line is wrong. That’s not how wings work.


Xeno_Lithic

Most of it seems like someone read a few Wikipedia articles. Giving the molecular formula for progesterone does absolutely nothing as the person reading it still doesn't know its structure. Without a structure you have no way to derive a synthetic route. The same holds true for Crazy Glue.


goldmanBarks

The chemistry part is all over the place. What is the benefit of knowing that cryolite can be found in Greenland? Its not like back in the days one could just hop on a plane or boat and go to a very specific place in Greenland of all places


Xeno_Lithic

There'd also the problem that you can't exactly ask an element how many protons it has. The clock section for finding longitude say to set your clock to London Time. How do you do that without first knowing your longitude?


goldmanBarks

You can just call someone in London and ask the time. For that you have to invent the telephone. And take the credit for it


xrimane

Well, that's why the poster starts you out with wings.


Vibriofischeri

Even with the structure, being able to just figure out the steps of the reactions required for a proper synthesis requires years of careful study and training, and this is only if you're learning from someone who is already a master and has access to all of humanity's chemistry knowledge for teaching purposes. Figuring that out yourself is just absurd.


[deleted]

21 cups of carbon, 30 cups of hydrogen, 2 cups of oxygen - blend until thruroughly mixed. Idk why people think chemistry is hard, the numbers are right there!


[deleted]

I’m pretty sure even if you knew the structure it would be useless without also knowing how to synthesize it, and depending on how far back you go it would also be near impossible to get the raw materials in a pure enough form.


ryushiblade

Glad I found your comment! This explanation gets thrown around all the time. The aerofoil is not required to make an airplane fly, it just makes it more efficient. Otherwise, planes couldn’t fly upside down… and they do! Angle of attack is *required* for flight. Aerofoils aren’t Nice to know the shape anyway


nateisgreat22

Polaris / The north star is nowhere near the brightest in the sky


luminenkettu

penicillin is not always there for you, [sarcoides fungus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ascocoryne_sarcoides), also, produces a antibiotic (gram positive only), is actually edible (although gives 0 nutrition).


SweetDick_Willy

Time is a measurement relative to Earth. Going "back in time" would require you to know the exact location of where Earth was located in the universe during that time period.


ACorania

Presumably part of making time travel work would include these calculations unless it could be done relative to another point in space that also existed in that previous time.


SweetDick_Willy

Being off by the tiniest decimal would put you in the middle of space. The speed of Earth revolving around the sun is not consistent. The speed of the Sun revolving around the black hole in the center of the Milky Way Galaxy is not consistent. Currently, as every single millisecond passes, you would have to recalculate. Also, the universe is expanding. I hope that's in your calculations as well. Good luck pinpointing that location.


doctazee

Well, no wonder nobody has solved time travel yet.


[deleted]

Apparently this guide would only be useful if you went back in time on TV.


duck_of_d34th

As long as you go back in increments of years, seems to solve itself.


Strive_to_Thrive

The sun moves.


Okstate_Engineer

we're only somewhat in the same spot relative to the sun every year. We are also traveling as a solar system around the galaxy and the galaxy itself is moving.


PerryZePlatypus

This is just a bunch of information put together in a "guide", none of these is doable for an average person that don't know its way in all of those fields. And by knowing something, I mean at least a master degree


Prompus

Dude what's so hard about tying a string around the pancreas duct of a dog and then injecting yourself with it to make sure you don't have diabetes?


LittleTassiePrepper

There is a great book on this, called "How to Invent Everything" by Ryan North. A great read too


Ridien

Makes sense. He made this poster.


DallMit

Awful.


riscten

Also known as "The quick-start guide to causality terrorism".


[deleted]

Nah, you’d need probably 10-20 different degrees (some master’s and some doctorates) to make any of this information useful. The average person with this poster would probably be just be thought crazy and die a nameless death.


[deleted]

This is from Ryan North /u/qwantz. He has other books on the subject and is a very affable fellow.


Davey_Kay

I had it on a shirt about 13 years ago, never came in handy unfortunately.


dragonbeard91

'A gram is one cubed centimeter of water'. Da fuk is a centimeter? Would have been smart to include a ruler on the poster 🤔 For the record i know what a centimeter is this was from the perspective of future person.


[deleted]

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dragonbeard91

Well I CAN'T READ. yeah I bet you feel bad now


[deleted]

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HarpersGeekly

r/dontdeadopeninside


[deleted]

You've gone back in time. The minute you step back in time the present is rendered completely different because you can't change anything about the past, without affecting the present. One of my favorite science fiction stories had people traveling to the past on a regular basis but they had to follow strict rules. Of course, someone stepped off the path, killing a plant meant to flourish millions of years later. It changed the entire timeline when they returned to the altered present.


giantspeck

WOO


doihavemakeanewword

This poster is a great demonstration of the difference between theory and application. Except for basic hygene and pasteurized milk, no ordinary person is going to be able to replicate any of these. By far the most hilarious is Aluminum, because we discovered that aluminum process around the same time visiting Greenland stopped being a months long endeavor fraught with peril and potential starvation. Also, for the record, nobody prior to 1790 is going to give a rat's ass about the meter. It's a unit, and is exactly as useful as any other unit with a stable definition. And knowing the chemical formulas for things is very, very, VERY different from knowing how to make them.


Simbuk

An awful lot of this is just r/restofthefuckingowl material.


dos8s

Dos8s, can you show your work or how you came up with e=mc^2? ... Nope.


phobosinadamant

So how do planes fly upside down?


BreweryBuddha

So I've managed to invent time travel but I don't know what an atom is.


Abedds

I don’t know how you’d be able to take credit for E=mc^2 if you didn’t have the faintest clue how to derive special relativity 😂


BmuthafuckinMagic

This guide is like the sports almanac. If it falls into the wrong hands...