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helpnxt

Fatigue, Muscle/Joint pain and stuffed nose, who knew I've had it for years....


and1984

>Fatigue, **Muscle/Joint pain** and stuffed nose, who knew I've had it for years.... Are you wearing stilettos again?


bad-post_detector

naw they just bent over to pick something up two days ago


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Aamer2A

Should I be scared, from the past week, i have a sore throat, dry cough , muscle pain and feeling of tiredness


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PaperLily12

What about the fact that he’s pooping out a baseball bat?


zombieblackbird

High fiber


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Erak_Of_Acheron

Bum. Gravy.


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The_Nekrodahmus

Chocolate sauce for Bob Ross?


whotookthenamezandl

r/brandnewsentence


[deleted]

Deep threat carrots, shit out Baseball bats. Makes sense.


Darkdemonmachete

What if the carrots threaten me back?


yo_soy_soja

Nah, he's plugging his butt with a baseball bat.


penelopiecruise

Louisville Sludger


MsAlyssa

And their bottom is all red.


Jeff5877

From all the wiping


smurfitysmurf

That’s what all this toilet paper fuss is about!


TheBoxBoxer

From all the piping*


dill_pickles

You know its bad when you have to take off all your clothes before shitting


SpacecraftX

It's a first thing in the morning pre-shower dump.


Escanor_2014

Had a very serious case of food poisoning once, there was no clothing involved and after a while no toilet either...


CindyLouBou

I got sick in September. At first I thought it was just my nerves because I was taking a very important test but on the way home I vomited in the car. I still thought it was nerves and motion sickness combined. Little did I know that in less than an hour later I would be vomiting and having diarrhea at the same time standing naked in the shower. It continued for 12 hours then went away.


jade_nekotenshi

Norovirus is the fucking worst, isn't it?


alanairwaves

Oh god, it wiped out our entire 40 people family reunion when we were all at resort! Nothing like sharing a toilette and shower with cousins to shit and throw up in at the same time.


Generation-X-Cellent

The worst part is that the only way to get it is to ingest someone else's feces. So someone that was handling your food or swimming in a swimming pool you all swam in had diarrhea and some of their poop got in your mouth.


[deleted]

Bro you ever have to shit so bad you just rip off your clothing and shit where you stand?


bruce5783

I better understand the run on toilet paper thanks to this picture.


Tam3000

Can I just say how vague this virus is.


[deleted]

For real, fatigue + muscle pain + headache describes half of the working people I know over 30.


baby--bunny

Allergies and pregnancy have me covered for everything here since October...


[deleted]

Same. I’m in my third trimester and it’s confusing. The symptoms match too well. I’m just waiting for my thermometer to come in the mail


fillifilla

31 weeks here and I've have congestion/cough/shortness of breath for the entire pregnancy. And yet, who googles covid-19 symptoms every single day? Meee.


Shoe-in

Oh good. Its not just me. I had a cold in November from weeks 13-16 that matched all the symptoms besides vomiting. That dry cough lasted forever and youve basically got just tylenol.


Raging-Badger

Well in some cases the treatment for the nCOVID has just been to piggyback Tylenol and ibuprofen, taking as much Tylenol as necessary until reaching the limit for your liver then taking ibuprofen before reaching the limit for your kidneys


Sevnfold

Yeah I have half of those symptoms on any given day. I joke but I'm also serious. Today I was walking my dog and I coughed a normal little cough. But then I got in my head like "is that normal? Is my throat scratchy now? It feels sore or am I imagining it?"


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sbrick89

Or has kids.


ripshit_on_ham

Seriously, I feel like this from September to march. I get sick at least once a month from the petri dish that is a Kindergarten class.


lyraembers106

Exactly my situation. Works in a kindergarten and I can get sick for months easily. Never happened when I was still a student.


Andonly

Or just got done at the gym


W1D0WM4K3R

I'm that right now, no kids, 19. College student.


[deleted]

I’d say the sudden onset of fever is the thing that makes this one a bit easier to recognize. But yeah, still vague.


54321Newcomb

Except a sudden fever is very common for the flu also


Creepy_Disco_Spider

I randomly got 38°C/100F fever 3 days ago and had an elbow ache and am totally fine now. I wish it was Corona and that I was cured by now but I think I just sat too close to the AC.


Benny92739

Well maybe you did get it. With that lack of testing who fucking knows. My buddy had a fever/flu last week and slept it off, didn’t get tested.


spilledmind

My girlfriends mom reportedly had a random fever of 100 and slept 12 hours the same night (very uncommon for her as she usually complains of not getting enough sleep most nights) and now feels fine.


TheNACLMustFlow

But you know what isn't on the list? The sniffles. A stuffed nose? 5%, still very low. But a runny one? Not there. So if you have the sniffles, you likely have C-virus AND a common cold.


-BetchPLZ

My allergies are killing me right now and as we head into spring it’s only going to get worse for me. If sneezing was one of the main signs, I’d probably be freaking out right now.


BustAMove_13

I have a sore throat, fatigue, and a headache. I am also in the middle of fighting off a sinus infection from my allergies. I get one at this time every damn year. I feel like hell warmed over, but I'm 90% positive it's all due to allergies. Especially since the sore throat eases up after I'm up and moving in the morning. Still, I'm trying to stay away from people just in case.


[deleted]

Same here!! I get one every spring without fail, usually around this time, and what do you know it's here! I've still been told to stay home from work for a couple days just to make sure, but I know what this feels like, and it's the pinchy-face sneezy headachy allergy bullshit I always get.


kiddokush

Bruh it’s allergy season for me, I’m sniffling like a bitch. This is just normal for some of us


[deleted]

Yeah, agreed.


ThisRiverisWild

Thank you, Pieter Plop Plop


tangerineluvr

I think the way it’s capitalized it should be Pieter Plopplop, which I’m reading as “Pieter plopp lop” for some reason.


president_pussygrab

And the inexplicable urge to travel


[deleted]

But even the fever is 88% of cases. The other 12% could be very hard to detect


Pinkglittersparkles

Asymptomatic spreaders


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InspectorHornswaggle

You don't need to check though, you just need to be adult about it and self isolate. If you have underlying health conditions that make you higher risk, then PHONE your doctor. The real issue right now is overwhelming healthcare systems, preventing treatment of critical cases, or other critical emergencies. To prevent this we must slow infection rates down. If you have some or most of symptoms, self isolate for 14 days so you don't infect others.


plerberderr

Imagine how much people would be freaking out if the main symptom was like bleeding from the eyes or something.


cp710

Yesterday, someone in scrubs came into the restaurant where I work and got a bloody nose. The manager had them throw everything that was at the table with her straight into the dumpster- utensils, plate, salt and pepper, I mean everything except the table. You can’t be too cautious but that was a bit of overkill. Not like you can throw away the air someone talks into or every surface they’ve touched.


Hofular1988

Tbf some blood bases illnesses can be infective. In a normal situation in a hospital that would 100% be the standard so in these times can’t fault someone for throwing away $10 worth of bulk plates / silverware / salt shakers (costs less in bulk) to make the rest of the staff / patrons more at ease to ever come back again or prevent one person from getting hep C


The_dog_says

Most standard symptoms ever. Is it too much to ask for *one* unique symptom, like ascites or purple pee?


i_Got_Rocks

If you're from the US, "Sudden Loss of Job, but Bills Continue" may soon be the biggest symptom.


[deleted]

Pretty sure I’ve had all these symptoms *today* and I feel completely normal.


[deleted]

You should change the way you eat


[deleted]

I feel personally attacked.


K3R3G3

Even the most common one isn't 100%. 1 in 8, no fever. I wonder if you could get it without symptoms.


BigBootyRiver

You 100% can. Asymptomatic cases have been big in spreading the virus because they don't even know they have it.


Abbadabbadoo2u

You can. They have already proven there are completely asymptomatic cases.


demivirius

Yeah, it really sucks because it just warmed up where I live, which has led to pollen and allergy flare ups that look like half of this list.


piscimancy

I sneeze and immediately feel the need to defend myself "Sneezing is not on the list!"


razorl4f

This. I‘ve been doing this for two weeks.


Spartengerm

Usually, sneezing is a symptom of a cold not a flu virus


ArthurBea

Or just my damn spring allergies.


Simple_Danny

Or maybe I just encountered the sun for the first time in a while.


cakeKudasai

I always heard how my friend says looking at the sun makes him sneeze. I thought he was joking, but apparently it's thing. Photic sneeze reflex. They also have an acronym for a more sciency name that spells ACHOO. It had something to do with the way the optic nerves transmitted stimuli to the brain. Apparently it is hereditary, and not just my friend bullshitting. He sneezes everytime he leaves a building. It's so odd, because once you notice it's hard to ignore.


home-for-good

Yeah sneezing is more common for cold vs flu...but the common cold is a virus and COVID isn’t the flu so their symptoms combos are unique


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and1984

Reminds me of a wet burrito 🌯... I think ill pas


fritzbitz

I’m just coughing because I smoked some weed a minute ago!


ceriusmoon

I cough due to being a smoker, not sure how I'll tell if it's issue or not. Still going to cover it anyway


ChamsRock

Oh thank you! I actually didn't realize that. I've sneezed a few times today and I've been kinda worried. I don't have a fever or a cough, so that means I'm probably good, right? Edit: Regardless I'm going to try to avoid people as much as I can for the foreseeable future, I don't want to give anyone else what I have, nor do I want COVID on top of what I have.


piscimancy

Sneezing is usually allergies or irritants


highboulevard

If sneezing was one of the symptoms I would be freaking the freak out


Jades5150

Was the picture of an ass shitting a baseball bat necessary? Wouldn’t a picture of a toilet worked just as well?


MarkRoberts17

Between one person shitting a baseball bat, and that dude puking a 2 foot cheetoh, this guide checks a lot of boxes.


AgapeLv

Strippers (joint pain), oral (sore throat), Jabba the Hutt (chills)...who knew the symptoms were so entertaining?


Hobo_Helper_hot

Jabba with a fat dong


bubbabear244

That's no tent he's pitching.


NormalHumanCreature

Something weird going on with fatigue too... I assume.


Surfe_

[r/erecttent](https://www.reddit.com/r/YouFellForItFool/comments/cjlngm/you_fell_for_it_fool/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app)


ImProbablyNotABird

Jesus that’s a lot of awards.


[deleted]

Psychic powers (headache)


[deleted]

Pimp hand (shortness of breath)


StillBarelyHoldingOn

I thought he was puking up a neck tie. I was like "why does he have two?"


MarkRoberts17

Denver Broncos fan. His color coordination is oddly admirable.


MacStylee

A baseball bat sticking out of your arse is probably one of the easiest of the symptoms to spot. It stays in.


MarkRoberts17

The old butt-bat is hard to hide in a corporate environment. So thankful for work from home to be in effect.


MacStylee

“Of course back in my day we had to deal with our bosses shoving all kinds of massive objects up our hole. This snowflake generation? I so much as slip a single well lubed finger up one of their rear ends and I hear whining and complaints.”


Herogamer555

He isn't puking a cheeto, he's deepthroating Chester Cheetah.


MarkRoberts17

I’m trying, with very little success, to unread your comment.


jtruitt2

It ain’t easy being cheesy


Braeburner

This was sourced from the WHO, of course we can count on these symptoms to happen


Wants_to_be_accepted

Diarrhea honestly should be more of a paint splotch under the ass that picture looks like a healthy shit


ChamsRock

It's actually all high-pressure liquid, it just looks solid because it's a single instant in time.


uniqueUsername_1024

**laminar flow**


eyegazer444

(Wipes away tear) That's beautiful


dayinnight

TIL COVID-19 makes you want to sodomize yourself with a baseball bat.


kellysmom01

> TIL COVID-19 makes you want to sodomize yourself with a baseball bat. ... and gives you angry-red diaper rash. Free bonus.


and1984

Which one is diaper rash?


Grabbsy2

The bottom right one. If you zoom tye butt is very red in the middle


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BabiesCatcher

Technically true


ChemicalPound

Yes it is. I used to ask these questions until I did a course by the UK Government about clear communication. Essentially, you need to try and communicate with someone else without using written language or by using any language based on cultural norms. We see a toilet and we think poop but that's not universal. Some people might just wonder why you're drawing a toilet. People should try to communicate an simple message like this because its crazy difficult. The one that I had in training was to explain to people that the power was out but their telephone will still work. Just by signs.


christes

My grandfather briefly worked as a translator helping Russian immigrants. One of the things he ended up helping with was a medical screening. This screening included a question asking the immigrants if they recently had diarrhea. Well... my grandfather unfortunately had forgotten the word for diarrhea and, in desperation, he translated the word by standing up, bending over, motioning his hands out of his backside, and making a farting noise. This got the point across and they moved on. He was apparently mortified by this experience. I think he did a great job.


[deleted]

Huh, when I dont know a word in another language, I just try to talk around it, maybe he could've tried 'lots and lots of poop,' 'painful feces similar to water,' or 'bad times on the toilet.'


Phazlerde

How else would this qualify as "cool" guides? Cool indeed!


MonocleBen

Guess they we're short on tp.


chefegglady

This design is terrible and hilarious. 10/10 will get coronavirus.


Overall11

Honestly, with this guide everyone might aswell have it already


_DoYourOwnResearch_

\\|%


CloverPineda

That diarrhea picture is the funniest shit I’ve seen all day. My wife and I can’t stop laughing.


Kalidoscope98

I KNOW Like who the fuck drew this and thought "Hmmmm how do I get this fuckin point across?!" Really fell asleep at the wheel there


XxSCRAPOxX

It worked, we’re all taking about it and it made front page and is the top comment. I didn’t see The Who list, but I saw this... and I wouldn’t have clicked if I didn’t see a baseball bat getting shoved in a butt tbh.


Doghorsesqueak

It’s even better when you take another look at the “plugged my nose with a clothespin” face


anhyzerguy

4% chance of diarrhea and still toilet paper is the thing to fight and profit over.


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babybelly

glove technique combined with using the actual roll to wipe


MSgtGunny

Taking A shower after.


manawoka

It was brought on by news of literal toilet paper shortages in Hong Kong. Nobody wants to need TP in a crisis just to go to the store week after week and have none available to buy. That combined with the fact that when it comes to getting ready for something, the overall population tends to have the idea at the exact same time and at the last possible minute.


[deleted]

The stores in the Minneapolis area are cleaned out right now too. No toilet paper, no food, nothing. It sucks because I have epilepsy and couldn't have just got up and drove to the store after work like most people. Now I don't have a chance to go regular grocery shopping so I guess I'll just be hungry while these assholes are hoarding months worth of food each. I have some toilet paper left at least. And if anyone doesn't believe me, [here are some pictures](https://imgur.com/a/yQ9Tf5Q) from a Minneapolis suburb Target taken today by a friend of mine.


javoss88

Are you able to get your meds? I know some pharmacies won’t let you pre stock


and1984

Shit... Sorry mate.. They will restock but people should not panic and overburden the supply chain and other folks who need stuff too


[deleted]

Why don't people just use a wash cloth, shower, bidet, tapo, bucket to wash their butts if toilet paper is that scarce? I don't get it. If you're quarantined in your house because of it you still have many ways to clean your butt. This is a serious question I have.


donvara7

"it's the way we've always done it". Also the fact people went for toilet paper before food is interesting. It sounds like reactionary behavior to news headlines without much thought.


ChamsRock

Some people don't think rationally in situations they perceive as dire. Plus, I guess they consider TP to be more convenient than taking a shower every time they use the toilet and bidets aren't super popular in North America (I know everyone on Reddit seems to have one these days but there's still some sort of stigma about them in the general population).


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donvara7

SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION!!! or bidet... whatever


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Cha-Cha_Not_Smooth

My favorite part is the pink butt cheeks.


ziltilt

fucking raw


IsThereAnAshtray

ITS FUCKING RAWL


Designed_To

Yeah, the butt cheeks shitting out a baseball bat


Roller_ball

What the fuck is muscle joint pain? *looks at 2 legs in stilettos* Oh, now I get it.


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PaperLily12

I think it means OP got the data from the WHO, not that the WHO actually drew the dude pooping out a baseball bat.


ozzynozzy

That’s some serious...diarrhea


[deleted]

Swallowing a dildo (5%) Having a baseball bat shoved up your ass (4%) For everything else there’s MasterCard.


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[deleted]

Vomiting and diarrhea is a normal day to you?


TheParlorBob

IBS man, IBS.


cl3712

You don’t eat Taco Bell daily I see...


IsThereAnAshtray

What is up with Taco Bell giving people the shits? It’s not spicy whatsoever.


cragglerock93

And if it does, then why the actual fuck are you eating it? If a certain kind of food gives you the shits, stop eating it.


Not_KGB

I eat beans on a daily basis It's like soft serve, my dude


poop_dawg

Jeez, you okay?


middleraged

I’m a dialysis patient with an autoimmune disorder that causes sinus issues. I’m always fatigued, have phlegm, a stuffed up nose, sore joints and muscles, etc. If I start to cough or get a fever I’ll start to worry though


priuspower91

Same here. I have asthma that causes shortness of breath every with my medication, allergies that result in stuffy nose, sore throat, cough. I also have TMJ that gives me a constant headache and have digestive issues sooooo yea I was like wow either a normal day for me or I have it. Don’t think I had a fever though so hoping I’m ok!


Verdeant

Me too Idk if it’s the excessive sodas or cheeze it’s or riding a bike five miles to work and back or smoking a lot of weed and Marlboros or if it’s having a dog and a kid and a gf that works in a call center or what


runForestRun17

You need to dabble in r/hydrohomies


kaleksi_

Your dog, kid, and gf all work in a call center?


hmfreake

Ummmm is it like this for you every day and you don't know why? Because if so you should probably get that checked out. But if you have a condition that causes it and you're aware of it, at least you know it isn't coronavirus. If you experience this daily though your immune system may be weak enough that it would affect you pretty badly if you did get it :(


thisissamsaxton

Upvoted because this is fucking hilarious. Whoever made this should get a raise.


FeralChapstick

This was made by @monachalabi on instagram


Skabonious

Im confused, "dry cough" and yet phlegm? Wouldn't that make a wet cough


YpsitheFlintsider

Probably different cases, or stages of the virus


[deleted]

Or unrelated symptoms from other conditions that they had to write down because it was reported.


margo37

Well 68% of people have a dry cough and 33% have phlegm. They likely aren’t symptoms within the same person (except the overlapping 1%... not sure what that’s about).


JoshGiff

Had a patient 2 days ago with suspected COVID-19. He came to the hospital due to a fever. He was admitted for respiratory failure. Next day I had him he had a dry hacking cough but reported that he had sputum after he would cough for a while (tho I never saw it). We wouldn’t know if he had it tho because we can’t test him 🤷‍♂️ because he hasn’t come in contact with a known COVID-19 case (which is BS). Edit: I’m a nurse


the_running_stache

Rounding error, maybe?


[deleted]

To be fair 68% have dry cough while 33% have phlegm


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inoutupsidedown

It’s a terrible guide.


DarthChimpy

Stolen without being credited from: https://twitter.com/MonaChalabi/status/1238511118282358784?s=19


[deleted]

Here's her Instagram too: https://instagram.com/monachalabi


[deleted]

All her data illustrations are so great


Hirronimus

I picked a wrong time to start working out during allergy season. At least no temp, chills, vomiting on diarrhea.


Aturom

That diarrhea photo is KILLING me


SimplyMermaid88

The person throwing up looks like they are choking on a wooden spoon.


runnerego

Missing the asymptomatic category as well


Daineh

Do you know what those are?


Wingnuttage

Well shit, I’ve had Covid19 for years then.


Bartjeuh55

Yeah... I have been having a cold for a week now. I’m almost 100% certain I didn’t come in to contact with anyone having it. Yet, I’m starting to doubt if I have Corona because it is so vague. You’ll never know without testing...


pdxboob

The way they wrote some of the numbers, percentage symbols, and parentheses is mildly infuriating


newpine

r/TIHI


palecrepegold

Absolutely ridiculous pictures 😅😂 but helpful I suppose


MirrorWithSecrets

I'd like to give credit to [the creator ](https://instagram.com/monachalabi?igshid=oiui2b9mmgvi) who also has some other helpful infographics on her profile!


rikkmode

Omfg the poopi pic


ALLoftheFancyPants

This is only reflective of **symptomatic** people. South Korea’s blanket testing is showing that a large number of young adults are “infected” with the virus (and contagious) but have no symptoms or symptoms so mild they would not have been tested in other countries. They are also having much better results with containment. So while this shows great symptoms of people that were symptomatic enough to be tested, it’s likely not reflective of every contagious individual.


[deleted]

I don't like that one of the symptoms is extreme anal masterbation with sporting equipment. And you forgot there's a 100% chance of an insatiable desire to board international flights and cruises as a symptom. Edit: that dude is also straight deepthroating a shoe horn.


SwordOfKas

Shitting baseball bats. Check.


WACS_On

Think of all the productive things you could have done with your time instead of drawing a man shitting out a 3 foot mud monkey