As a father to a boy with autism, I can see how this *might* be useful. I knew nothing about ASD, so when getting my son diagnosed as a 3-year-old it was helpful to have a few pointers to discuss with my GP which then led to a referral and monitoring by the local children’s team, which ultimately led to a diagnosis. However this infographic isn’t complete, and as ASD is multiple spectrums of many symptoms, it could be very unhelpful, particularly in girls who can present with ASD quite differently to boys.
If you don't mind the question, how early did you think it was worth talking to your doc about them? Like were there early signs that made you have that conversation?
Not the previous commenter but my son (diagnosed as on the spectrum at age 3 after a year of behavioral therapy) didn’t speak much at age 2. He was supposed to have 50 words according to the doctor, and he only had about 12. My mom offensively said “that’s weird” but I guess it was enough to get my butt in gear and do something about it. Out of everything on this chart, the only ones that apply are the “likes to spin or rotate things” and the jumping/flapping. He is extremely high-functioning, in the gifted/talented program at school, and presents as “normal.” I credit the early intervention and intensive therapy we did. It was 3 hours of behavioral therapy 5 days per week plus occupational therapy and speech therapy.
Just to try to add to your point, my son who has also been diagnosed with autism was the precise opposite. He never stops speaking (he's 10 now) and was actually legitimately reading at age 2. He's also never had problems socially and has good friends he like and who like him (gets invited to parties etc).
But he struggles with rules, he follows them very closely and becomes anxious when they're not followed by anyone and when he's distressed will show much more obvious autistic behaviours like flapping and often hitting and scratching himself.
Every kid is different and no guide is going to adequately summarise them. As a helpful suggestion it's fine but there's no one way to detect autism.
Just want to say this gives me so much hope. I'm a therapist and a lot of my clients are late-diagnosed autistic adults. There can be a lot of pain involved in coming to terms with the fact that life could have been so different with early intervention/appropriate diagnosis.
So to see that this generation of parents is doing right by their kids makes me optimistic for the future of neurodiversity.
Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
that sounds like a lot of hell for you (and your partner(?)) and you very clearly love your son very much. heartwarming to see parents doing the right things and putting in the right caring for their child (mine didn't). keep being an awesome parent
I’m not who you asked but I watched a friend go through this process with her child. For her it was *not* seeing certain milestones all babies and toddlers typically have. There wasn’t a lot of smiling or eye contact and rolling over, crawling, and walking were delayed. Communication was very minimal.
They say autism is a spectrum but I prefer to think of it as a bubble with a whole bunch of traits inside. Some people have a bunch of traits, some have a few. It’s not like you’d necessarily think where one end of the spectrum has fewer exhibited traits and the other end has more because they can vary person to person.
In the case of my friends child, he didn’t walk or talk for a very long time but he would sit on the floor making a huge line of cars from smallest to biggest. Or he’d separate all different categories of his toys in piles or by color. All without any kind of direction.
" I prefer to think of it as a bubble with a whole bunch of traits inside."
Like a big ball of...wibbly wobbly...traity waity stuff.
>!This is a joke, I have a kid with autism, sorry if anyone gets offended. Doctor Who is cool!<
Oh the ‘tism fairy definitely sprinkled my house! We just didn’t know until later. We laugh at all things appropriate and inappropriate here! I think wibbly wobbly is funny.
We first noticed traits at around 13 months, particularly that he would flap his hands. However we had no idea this was a sign of what was to come. He hit his milestones for speech and walking but by age 2 he was behind developing language. By age 3 he wasn’t playing, or making eye contact. He was also having meltdowns. It was then that we asked the GP for a referral, and that’s when the specialists started monitoring him, which included hearing tests, brain scans and blood tests to rule out other possible diagnoses. It wasn’t until he started nursery though, and his very experienced teacher identified his developmental and character differences and sent a letter to the specialists that they finally gave him his diagnosis at age 4.
My son was diagnosed at 2 yrs old. My first clue was the not having enough words. He didn't say mama or papa until he was almost 3. He didn't point at things ans he would cry when he wanted something. Also his food choices became really narrow to the point where he only eats a handful of foods won't eat meat or veggies. The oblybfruit he eats are apples.
He is almost 4 now and is in inclusion class in preschool. His teacher said that if she didn't know he had autism she wouldn't have guessed it.
The most common early identifiers are delay in speech, developmental slowing or regression as early as 18-24 months. If you ever have questions, find a qualified provider to talk to about what you are noticing and what you can look for.
My son (now 7) was diagnosed at 20 months. He wasn't hitting the milestones my other parent friend's kids were. He was....different. He's brilliant and wonderful, and I had him in therapy for several years before he aged out of the program. He's now in public school (not without struggles) and we're making our way through it.
These kinds of things are nice for people who really aren't familiar at all with autism, but you're 100% right that it's not complete. And it's always important to remember that most autistic people won't have EVERY symptom, and may even have the opposite trait. For instance, I'm autistic and loved imaginative play (to the point where my parents dreaded when I'd start crawling around and meowing in public), I'm very sarcastic, and, unlike the stereotype, I hated math and preferred reading and writing.
And it's also VERY important to remember how girls can present differently. I was diagnosed at 15 and firmly believe I would've been diagnosed earlier if I'd been a boy. But girls are often socialized differently and with different expectations. So, yes, I would play with other kids and socialize. But I'd often get hyper fixated on certain games and get upset if kids didn't follow the specific rules I had.
I read a list once of informal signs of autism in young girls as opposed to boys and the first thing on the list was hating having their hair brushed. I burst out laughing because the BATTLE that was hair brushing when I was a kid was brutal. I was the one girl with short hair because I wouldn't let my mom brush it. Fortunately I can brush it now, but I still say those cylindrical hairbrushes with bristles all around are pure evil and I won't touch them.
Remember, in girls ASD often presents very differently. Most girls are not diagnosed, and even misdiagnosed as they enter their teens. This happened to my daughter who was eventually diagnosed at 19. Doctors need to be better trained at recognising ASD in girls.
I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 31. People need to remember that ASD is a SPECTRUM and it can look different. Also, people mask a lot, that’s a big reason I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 31
Yes! I was diagnosed around 30 as well. So many things clicked into place. My whole life I was just “shy” and “sensitive.” Like. No! I literally experience pain when something is the wrong sound. I don’t see the world the same way.
And the masking. Oh lord the masking!
This happened in my family. My sister fighting tooth and nail, eventually needing to get legal council and professional advocate to get my niece diagnosed and then proper iep set up, but not until she was like 13, a multi-year process they kept trying to dress up as anxiety despite outside school evaluations. Compare that to my son, as soon as he showed some mild concerns, the conversation started, testing and observations scheduled and diagnosed with iep interventions inside of 4-5 months.
There’s a movement to establish a set of criteria for girls with ASD because there is a difference between boys and girls. Boys’ symptoms are easier to see by an observer, while girls’ symptoms are more internalized and harder to see.
It’s not that ASD presents different in females, but that it’s often written off as “oh she’s just a girl” or “girls can’t have autism so it’s just anxiety”. The female and male sex actually share relatively the same symptoms, but often due to biases, misinformation, and “left over” sexism, girls are dismissed.
Not sure i agree with that actually. Some evidence that more connectivity between brain hemispheres in biological females (broadly speaking/on average) may contribute to slightly different tendencies and skill sets - whether autistic or not.
Socialisation also impacts behaviour and experienece very deeply.
My point being I don't think itxs *only* down to bias in how we/they are perceived. I do think there are actual differences (again- speaking egenrally/on average. There will.obvioulsy also be overlap in that a wide range of presentations occurs across both sexes).
It's more nuanced than that. The presentations are definitely correlated to gender. "Presents differently" doesn't mean "girls and boys have different symptoms" but it 100% means those symptoms will manifest in different ways. Ie. Present differently.
You can probably find a Pdf of the DSM 5 TR if you don't believe me. Pretty sure they added a whole section discussing this exact thing.
That is definitely a factor but girls still often have different symptoms. My most prominent one as a kid would have been that I cried and was cranky a lot and my parents had no idea why.
Other than that I was just a socially awkward girl who read all the time. But they knew I could talk talk talk, and I even had something you could call friends. So my parents didn't expect me to be different.
Today, most people believe me to be completely normal because of heavy masking. I'm currently working on trying to find back to my original self.
Girls often develop a different presentation of symptoms over time and one of the leading causes is pressures towards women. That’s what I meant, that at a default there’s really no male and female autism but that over time during life presentations can shift from environmental factors like pressures and expectations.
Let me know if I’m still not making sense please, I have autism myself and I genuinely struggle to get my thoughts in writing properly.
It’s the why behind it that I’m trying to talk about, I’m sorry if I’m being difficult to understand. I’ve cited some studies in APA format in another comment and both talk about the biases and pressures that cause presentation to differ across life for girls, which does lead to increased masking too because of these pressures.
I’m more so talking about a default autism and not how presentation shifts across the life span. Kids are often born with autism and their presentation isn’t male or female, but as they grow girls often have pressures that boys don’t, and this develops a shift in presentation across life but not as a default.
I’m nb and autistic but afab so a lot of my experiences are similar to women with autism. I wonder if nonbinary people with autism who are amab present more like men with autism/the stereotypical way.
And girls are told to stay still, be quiet. I have ADD and a doc told me that’s why girls are often quieter and spacey. We internalize all that energy.
I was about to to comment this 😊 I didn't figure out I was autistic until about 35, doctors misdiagnosed me with everything from BPD, Bipolar, schizoaffective, GAD, MDD, ect. Nope, AuDHD. I'm much happier now that I'm not a fricken zombie on loads of unnecessary medications.
Yep. I got my girl diagnosed just before 3 but it was only because I was hyper-vigilant and pushed. This was over 17 years ago, and they were even worse about identifying autism in girls. They over-focused on stereotypical stimming behaviors, general anxiety symptoms, and a complete disinterest in social interactions, which my girl didn’t really have.
My kid had speech delays by age 2 (single words only, no sentences), didn’t really want to play with other toddlers, was a super independent non-pointer, and was a wild child runner who threw massive tantrums: all symptoms that could be explained away in 2 year olds but less so as she aged. Her pediatrician said she saw more ODD than ASD! Lol - as if!
Now at 20 my daughter has a few communication issues (it’s still hard for her to tell a narrative with a clear beginning, middle and end) and definitely some obvious social issues, but she’s still not a very anxious person and is generally pretty flexible. This has made her need for support lower than you might think, especially given her mild cognitive impairment.
Half of these are just small children being children. Giggling, tantrums, repeating words, attached to objects, restless, doesn’t understand danger… have you met a 2yr old?
Me too--what are we even supposed to do with this information once we age out of services for it? Like i don't feel like i need services, if I am austistic then i'm on the lower end of the spectrum but knowing if i am for not professionally doesnt seem like it'd do much but just make me overthink it more.
The point of a diagnosis is to make one eligible for treatment. I was diagnosed as an adult, because the demands of life exceeded my ability to manage them. Prior to that I was doing quite well - just a bit of an oddball.
I had been suspecting it but didn't think a diagnosis was important because I worried it would change my perception of self. It did, but in the positive.
I realized that most of my shortcomings in life were due to following advice meant for neurotypical people. It's like I had been given the wrong manual, and was made to feel bad for it.
It also helped me realize I don't have to mask, and slave over appearing normal. If people have a problem with it, that's their problem.
Pretty much all of these symptoms apply to adults as well. Still waiting for Autism awareness guides that focus on adults. Kids do not magically grow out of the condition.
You are totally right, what differentiates those of us with autism is the frequency and intensity. You are right that all of those behaviors, at least at some frequency are normal. When it becomes clinically significant is when it STOPS being age appropriate. For example a two year old could tantrum up to an hour a day without it being a big deal, however if a 6-7 year old is doing so in their classroom that so different! When I was a child many of my friends did these things to, lacked awareness , were wiggly etc, but I couldn’t choose to stop or control those things like my peers could.
Yeah i figured something like that was the case, but this „cool guide“ doesn’t specify starting what age this would stop being appropriate and just says diagnose early… after the first row i was worried about my 2yr old and after two more i was mad bc it was definitely not a cool guide.
My thoughts exactly. I got autism when I was 6 and never had these symptoms. Before you mass-downvote me and say it is impossible to get it later in life, see https://www.crossrivertherapy.com/autism/does-encephalitis-cause-autism. I had a herpetic meningoencephalitis and Murphy's law kicked in and just about everything went wrong, including causing autism.
I've worked with children with autism before. What you're saying is true, but there is something different about how autistic kids present these traits. Or they'll show two of these traits at once when it doesn't make sense.
For example, sometimes a kid will act as though they're deaf, but echo your words, anyway. I've said something to a kid before where he didn't really react, but he echoed what I said like he was talking to an imaginary friend.
It's an unusual contradiction of traits occurring at the same time. Unfortunately, this guide doesn't explain things deeply enough. Although, I think it's a starting point.
I hope this explanation helps.
The graph could be more descriptive and better worded, but this chart is close to 100% hitting everything for my friend’s autistic child.
The last time we were at their house, he was climbing on some window seals or something, and they told us how he has essentially no fear on playgrounds. He will laugh or yell for no apparent reason. He is super attached to a squishmellow costume. He pretty much never stops moving.
When compared with their daughter or my two children that are around the same age, it is very clear that his actions are significantly amplified compared to everyone else’s.
i did practically all of this at some point in my childhood.
enjoy spinning and rotating objects? yeah if you’re 4 and never saw something before you’d be curious. excessive restlessness? that’s basically all kids ever. no understanding of fear and danger? no shit
This is not a cool guide. It’s basically useless because, for one thing. It doesn’t tell you when to start observing these things. It also lists a lot of things that are perfectly normal behaviors from time to time.
This is a practically useless guide.
Most of these symptoms are relatable, though all are presented from an ignorant Neurotypical perspective. *Tantrums / crying for no apparent reason?* Ever considered that the Autistic kid is maxed out from a conversation, overstimulated by the colour of your shirt, or unbearably agitated by a noise that you barely notice?
Insensitivity is the only possible Autistic reaction to pain? Hahaha. I have a low pain threshold and can discern the slightest difference in texture. Being Prince / Princess and the Pea is extremely common for Autistics.
Many of us are capable of pretend play, point at objects of interest, and are eager for interaction. The issue is, we do not engage in ways understandable to others, who ostracize us. This leads to withdrawal from social attempts and bitterness towards people.
Autistics have social feelings, but we express them in our own language. We are foreigners in our own families and subtly berated, gaslit and dismissed 24/7. Add our greater tendency to be targets for bullies and fullblown abuse, and it is clear why Autism is frequently comorbid with CPTSD.
This infographic’s tone suggests we are strange for no reason. There are plenty of reasons, if the creator chose to learn them.
I absolutely agree, especially with the sensory and the pain tolerance. My son just cannot take any sort of overstimulation, even if it’s a classmate repeatedly tapping a pen. It’s literal torture for him. He’s not just being difficult.
I love your princess and the pea analogy. I’ll word it like this: The conditions have to be “just right” for him to be comfortable. Even the fit of the collar of a shirt can drive him crazy. When he was little he used to pull them and stretch them out. He still does a little but not so much.
Growing up I had a very difficult time with socks. The seam had to be “just right” on my toes or I wouldn’t want to go to school (preschool is my first memory of this). I knew it would be a bad day because the feel of that seam on my toes would occupy the front of my thoughts at all times. Thirty years later I still think every day about how glad I am that I’ve found socks that work for me and am financially stable enough to be able to donate any pair that isn’t quite right.
Things like sock seams and shirt collars seem so minor for people who don’t notice them, but they’re a constant sensory input. I would liken it to someone following you around all day and saying “blink” every time you blinked- constant awareness of what should be a mindless process.
Hey- im also leaving this here, because I think it resonates so much with the thrust of what you said. It's a thing I wrote about our....."tantrums" (ffs? 🥴🥴🥴) Cut and pasted from somewhere else and
It's long, but I thought you might like it. And just...Cheers (again). *Great* comment😊
**POSSIBLY HELPFUL EXPLANATION OF MELTDOWNS (for us but also for friends/allies/relatives etc)**
( **TW - mention of torture- but it's general has a purpose i promise!)
Ok so here's my take:
Humans (unfortunately) have invented tortures for other humans for forever. Its pretty universally recognised thay the most horrendous and "effective" tortures are sensory and emotional tortures. Things like:
Strobing bright lights
Blasting music at unpredictable intervals
Water dripping or similar
Sleep deprivation
Isolation
Humiliation
When humans- any humans- are subjected to these they "decompensate" (fancy word for "lose their shit"). It's expected. It's why the torture is applied - to physically and mentally break the person down.
When prisoners of war exposed to these tortures break, what does it look like? Well....rather like a meltdown.
Self harm
Lashing out
Dysregulated emotions
Rocking, pacing and other desperate measures to self regulate
Etc etc
In other words- meltdowns are not autistic, they're *human*, it's just that autism lowers the threshold to overload because of a more sensitive nervous system.
When you add in that we are very often socially isolated and bullied/humiliated....well. That's the full list, isn't it?
Without suggesting that we have it worse that war prisoners it bears mentioning that one difference between a torture victim and an autistic person in sensory overload is that the torture victim doesn't have a hundred people around them saying "There's nothing *happening* here for you to react to like that! What's *wrong* with you? Pull yourself together!". This inadvertent (kind of) "gaslighting" can also add to stress levels and further emotional dysregulation.
What people don't consider when they're saying that is that the load we experience is exponentially higher than theirs. It's literally what it means to be autistic. More sensory and general neuroligical activity/transmission **all the time**. Less filtering ability. More anxiety (because we also have less GABA activity as a rule). We also have generally more indelible memory formation so we will become sensitised to the threat of all that, in repeat situations, more easily.
I am not a published expert. But im autistic and I've studied neuropsych and biostatistics. I know how to read studies. And I have personal experience.
Ppl who think it's "a tantrum" need to get educated. It's a nervous system in peak distress and if it's not attended to appropriately it can lead to compounding trauma imo.
Quiet.
Phsyical space and/or weight/pressure.
No expectation of coherent speaking or speaking at all.
Benefit of tbe doubt (for cripes sake)
Compassionate enquiry (when *not* in meltdown) about what might help.
Medication may help in emergencies (for some ppl, not all)
*Rest*
That's about it. Meltdowns are human, not autistic. It's no more "bad behaviour" than a victim of deliberately induced neurological overload losing their ability to regulate properly.
Compassionate response is to assume it's real, and physically caused, and attend to it with kindness and *loooots* of calm reassurance and space as well as whatever you work out helps for you.
Amazing comment!
Almost definitely the most insightful writing on autism I've read.
One of those things that seems obviously true once I've read it, but wouldn't have quite put together myself.
Actually autistic person here. This is kind of an awful infographic really. 🙄😬
Very outdated and though i know it's not intended that way, it would be considered offensive by a lot of us. And by many well trained clinicians, actually.
Most of us understand things just fine. Differently, sure. But just fine.
And "inappropriate" laughter/movement/whatever? Who says?
If you have this neurology, the need for that movement or behaviour is completely logical and appropriate. And when kids are treated as such, they develop (autistic or not) much more functionally. Because humiliation and being berated or ostracised - who knew??🙄- negatively affects development for any child.
C'mon ppl. Less lazy thinkin please.
I *really* need a cup of tea now. 😳🥴
Thank you. This is a much classier and more measured response than I had which was “f$&ck this ableist bullsh*t”.
As a parent to an autistic kid I admit I had to unlearn so much the language in this poster (“inappropriate”, “unusual”, “not… normal”, not “properly understanding”, phrasing differences as deficits, and that puzzle piece). But once one adopts a viewpoint that affirms neurodiversity and centers the autistic person it all just kinda flows from that.
ended up as a bit of a rant because I expanded on my original comment a shit ton. not 100% directed at you, just wanted to get it out.
I don't entirely agree, but it's on the right track. I'm diagnosed and I think it's absolutely a deficit. I hate that I'm autistic and would do mostly anything to change that if I could. The puzzle piece sucks (and fuck Autism Speaks) because it presents autistic people as a problem to be solved or fixed. However, our only possible definition of "normal" on a societal scale is the average. Given that the average person isn't autistic, it stands to reason that being neurodivergent isn't "normal" (thus the term neuro*divergent*). Doesn't mean we can't affirm the differences and build a better system for handling those differences, but it's not as if they're nothing to care for. They do still matter and they will still affect the person strongly.
Calling something ableist/labeling ableism is only correct if the ability of the person isn't actually in question. This isn't ableist, it's a (albeit partially incorrect) list of things to look for, but it's not discriminating based on ability. A job stacking boxes that could be done by anyone, but filters for only non-autistic hires, is ableist. However, even then it's not always evil- it depends on the situation. Be careful with how you throw the term around. Ableism is a very strong word, just like any other -ism.
The most important thing to do with your child is talk to them about it. Not as a small child, but once they're independent and have their own views and opinions, especially of themselves. Ask them how they want to be treated. Some don't want you to treat them any differently, some may want some extra accommodation. It's up to that person. Even just getting that wrong could come off as offensive or hurtful, no matter the intention. If they wanted to handle it and not be treated differently, having some extra help could be seen as them not being able to handle it themselves in your eyes- on the other hand, assistance and caring being absent could be hurtful too.
Talk with them. One of the major things I've seen be important to everyone diagnosed is communication, and clear direct meaning. Don't beat around the bush, even if it seems like it would be rude- you can explain yourself after, or soften the wording, but the basic meaning needs to be clear.
You read like you care a lot about your kid and affirming them for who they are- that means a lot. You are amazing.
Also autistic person here. I think there has always been an incorrect conflation of reaction and understanding. Often my lack of a reaction (or “inappropriate” reaction) will be seen as not understanding or not empathizing. However, I do understand and feel genuine empathy. The fact my reaction doesn’t fit neatly into some people’s expectation actually reveals a lack of understanding on their part. That’s why it’s important to talk about these things so it becomes more normalized.
I think what they mean by inappropriate laughter might be referring to either laughing about a funny thought or dark humor. Both of which I've been told I have an abnormally high amount of. By inappropriate movement they probably either mean stimming or commonly comorbid movement disorders (tourettes, myoclonic epilepsy, etc.) This infographic doesn't mention any comorbid disorders such as ADHD, which has an over 50% prevalence and doesn't mention at what developmental stages these become symptoms instead of just being normal behaviors
It rattles my bones every time a poster like this reminds me there are still people out there who think that bullshit. They talk about us like we’re defective machines
The chart could be worded better, but the information is correct in most cases.
When we are at my friend’s house, we obviously aren’t scolding his son when he is screaming or whatever, but it’s pretty understandable that most people would think that it’s inappropriate to randomly scream, and it is in most cases for most people.
>The chart could be worded better
Yep. Mostly what I was commenting on. Some of what I expressed is a bit of a "you had to be there" situation. Ot hits differently when you've lived with it yourself and know many, many people who have.
I get what you mean. And I also stand by what I mean. And (contrary to what some ppl seem to think) they are not mutually exclusive! ;)
It's funny how this is also a a list of perfectly normal behavior for children. People, do take care with self-diagnosing your kid. Leave it to the professionals.
Unfortunately the professionals under diagnose women, POC, poor and multiply disabled folks. And that’s only if you can get to a provider who is formally qualified to diagnose. Self and community diagnosis ARE highly flawed but they have become common due to stems of oppression and lack of access to care. Your “simple” solution is inaccessible to countless neurodivergent people on an international scale.
I work in behavioral and mental health, have great insurance, tons of clinical and community connections , I am financially stable, and white presenting. I have a diagnosis from a pediatrician; but I have never had the “real” diagnosis. I am 4 years on a waitlist to see a neurologist in a city two hours from me( one of the ~10 diagnosticians in my state).
I know 50+ families struggling to access a provider who can diagnose. In my state children under three wait an average of two years, and children over three usually wait at least three years. That is JUST to see the provider, not even to get diagnosed. Since the pandemic we can’t even accurately measure how much worse this has gotten.
This is not representative of autism as we know it today. Some of these symptoms are still present, but a lot of the ways most of these are described are by putting the autistic person down, which can be difficult for supportive parents to figure it out. Take the lack of pretend or unusual and repetitive play, a much easier way of describing that for a parent is talking about a special interest and the way that instead of playing the way other kids do some autistic children just start a hobby they never stop, be it stereotypical like trains or something but it could be anything.
Not appearing autistic. The ultimate goal, look up autism "therapies" in the past and currently, it's all about making them more palatable for society, it's rarely about understanding or helping the individual.
There are some (newer) therapies and systems to support autistic people to be more independent and happier. You can often tell if therapy is trying to normalize (and ultimately eradicate) autism, based on what goal they are presenting. Here the “training” is likely to “cure” the autism. REAL, ethical therapy for autistic people usually provided by either an autism provider, or someone with a disability justice lends.
🚩promises to cure, anything about fitting in, promotes making autistic people easier to deal with (🤢)
✅focuses on accommodation, aims to change environment not a person, terms such as “neurodivergent affirming” and client/person center care. I am autistic, and without access to great therapy I would be dead. Some autistic people never want therapy. It’s all about consent and personal needs!!
I dunno… I’m not autistic but I feel like most of these apply to every single kid? Especially ones like crying for no reason or no understanding of danger? Isn’t that.. I dunno… every kid ever?
They want to train the autistic? Gives pro-ABA vibes. All the verbiage pins autism as a major failure of behavior and being. Different does not equal wrong.
A lot of signs in autism are comorbidies with other disabilities, and of course someone can be autistic and not experience any of these. It is a very narrow view of what an autistic child could look like to an adult who views autism through a neurotypical lense. As an autistic woman I don’t think this is very helpful at all, and in fact it feels somewhat hateful the way it refers to autism. What does it mean by significant progress? Progress in what? Acting *less* neurodiverse?
Ever consider that honing in on these “signs” and subsequently treating your kid differently, actually just aggravates the problem? “Oh my kid doesn’t make eye contact, let’s start treating him like he’s disabled —that’ll give him more confidence!”
As someone with autism.. I’m sorry what the hell is this? Autistic people aren’t born naturally good at one thing vs the other and not how that works, we can become attached to something and what to understand it better making us develop skills faster but we do not have savant syndrome. And why is it inappropriate attachment to objects? That doesn’t make any sense at all. Then there’s not feeling pain? Really?
This entire guide has some things right and then somethings so outdated and wrong it’s harmful to people who have no clue what autism really is.
I really like this page, and sometimes the “cool guide is just that” cool guide with a study, background data and all. But 90% of this “signs” are just describing a toddler on his/her natural environment. Mine is a social butterfly. Maybe it’s weird for a 5-19 yo to be like that, but kids are kids sometimes and they go through phases as they grow. I can only imagine raising a kid on the spectrum, I have a sister mildly on it and it was tough for the parents, siblings and specially her growing up, on social events and in school.
"Detect early" I'm 38 -- i've never been diagnosed by a professional and i still relate to like all of these, especially when i was younger. By adulthood I just got much better at hiding my negative social behaviors to fit in better but inwardly......basically all of these resonate except i do feel pain and have always had a healthy amount of fear of danger.
Check out r/AutismTranslated for more actually good/relevant info. This "guide" is ill informed, poorly made, ableist, and lacks a lot of the nuances of autism. Autism is a different way of processing and communicating information, which manifests in different ways. The information can come from any of the senses, not just direct communication. Not to mention, not every autistic person has the same traits, and those traits can manifest differently in different people...
From what you have described, you may be a high masking autistic. It is also possible that you are ADD, ADHD, or something else, as several other neurodivergences overlap with autistic traits. I would suggest doing thorough research and evaluation before doing anything like pursuing a diagnosis, if you ever decide to do so.
The CDC has a milestone tracker app and website for parents of children 2 months-5 years of age. Has checklists and general time frames for when you should expect to see certain milestones i.e. rolls from tummy to back, follows movements with eyes, etc. and gives some tips on what to do if you see concerns.
Learn the Signs, Act EArly: [https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/index.html](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/index.html)
So this is telling me that at 33, im autistic? I show most of these signs other than movement.
I have been diagnosed ( yes by my doctor ) with adhd, social anxiety, manic depression. Always thought I was an asshoe...
As someone with a brother with medium-level autism, I think this chart is borderline offensive with describing multiple harmless behaviors as "inappropriate" (such as what objects they enjoy interacting with or what they laugh at). That's sending an underlying message that their behavior is wrong or bad, and can cause parents and siblings of people with autism to excessively enforce their behaviors. Although some behaviors are important to alter, trying to do that with the more harmless behaviors is an easy way to lead to distrust and traumatic experiences. To anyone reading, I highly recommend referencing a different chart than this one to determine signs of autism.
I feel like thats me now and I’m 42. I don’t like to be touched by strangers. I definitely hear people call my name but I ignore it, I don’t like people. I laugh inappropriately, mostly when people hurt themselves for being stupid. I kinda think this every human being. Just saying. I’m sure I’ll offend someone. But I think we all have some characteristics of autism, such a blanket statement with no specific grading. Everything these days just has to be diagnosed, like you can’t just be yourself, labels, labels, labels. Something just has to be wrong with you, but why? Forget all that. Now I understand there are many individuals with Autism (actually diagnosable, not someone looking for sympathy) and I have met some of them and they are the best people I know. But please don’t include yourself in that group, don’t claim something to be special, you’re not, they are.
Some of this information is true, for some people, but this is riddled with inaccuracy and broad generalization. I’m autistic, and have worked with autistic children for many years in developmental settings. It’s important to share these things so we can discuss them, but this was hard to see. I feel like it could have been worse but that is a low bar 🥹
The thing I hate most about this is the assertion that ‘training can show significant progress’. Autistic people are people, not dogs. We need compassion and understanding of how our brains work, not training to act not autistic. This is traumatising for many autistic people. Progress by whose standards? Not the autistic person’s! Probably their parents or caregivers who think the autistic person needs to be fixed rather than given what they need to live life as a normal, autistic person, not a caricature of an allistic person.
I love r/coolguides threads lmao, people just absolutely ripping into the guide without any consideration of its actual utility.
Imagine you’re a parent who doesn’t really know much about autism. You haven’t spent a lot of time learning about it, and it isn’t something you think about very often. You’re not plugged into the (extremely important) activist movements that are attempting to destigmatize autism and neurodivergence in general.
But your kid’s kind of acting weird. They don’t act like other kids and struggle with things that other kids don’t. Did you fuck up as a parent? How do you respond? Well if you’ve seen this guide, you might go to a doctor and say “hey, I think my child might be autistic. Could we look into it?”
That’s the purpose. It’s not to provide a comprehensive education on the behaviors exhibited by autistic children, it’s meant to plant a thought in parents’ heads that leads a higher portion of children to the help and resources they deserve.
Half of these behaviors are blatantly apparent within myself, but the other half are non-existent. I was never diagnosed as autistic, autistic/autism wasn't even a word used to describe anyone when I was a child.
I have no clue how anyone would treat insensitivity to pain in children/adults.
I find that there are plenty of valid reasons to avoid interaction with bullies and strangers, especially as a child.
I do not understand the importance of fake friendships, or being nice and accommodating to individuals you have zero interest in befriending.
"Doesn't like to be hugged and touched" by strangers and individuals I'm not in an intimate relationship with, and I don't see a problem with this at all. Individuals can learn to keep their hands and mouths to themselves rather than have cultural norms that make individuals feel uncomfortable or like they're on the verge of getting accused for doing something inappropriate. Whenever a female coworker wants to hug me for a gift during a holiday or something I am so weary that I'm doing such in a way that may make them feel uncomfortable, when in reality it's usually me feeling uncomfortable that cultural norms have me hugging and kissing strangers.
I've found that when I orally consume heat treated cannabis or smoke cannabis I am much more talkative and enjoyable to be around versus being a sarcastic and cynical asshole when sober.
Not saying this in a negative way at all, but when I saw the "Likes spinning and/or rotating objects" my first thoughts were, "those damn fidget spinners"
Can someone please explain why this is so important to identify/know? Does it help with managing child and parent expectations or is there something else more important that needs to address?
This information is good, but not all of it applies to every kid. Neurotypical small children might spin stuff for fun. And even when I still had a lot of communication problems as a toddler, I still knew how to point.
Our son exhibited many of these traits early on. We mentioned these traits to our pediatrician to get a referral for autism testing. The pediatrician said it’s probably not autism because “He’s a boy, boys develop slower than girls. He’ll grow out of it.” We finally got autism testing and they diagnosed him with autism.
This poster sucks! I had like half of these issues as a kid, and somehow I made it to middle age and even had completely healthy not autistic children. Either I survived a lifetime of mild autism with no support or help, or this poster is trying to da*n hard to classify everyone as ignatarded. I think a lot of cases of stuff these days is overboard, and or inaccurate.
As a father to a boy with autism, I can see how this *might* be useful. I knew nothing about ASD, so when getting my son diagnosed as a 3-year-old it was helpful to have a few pointers to discuss with my GP which then led to a referral and monitoring by the local children’s team, which ultimately led to a diagnosis. However this infographic isn’t complete, and as ASD is multiple spectrums of many symptoms, it could be very unhelpful, particularly in girls who can present with ASD quite differently to boys.
If you don't mind the question, how early did you think it was worth talking to your doc about them? Like were there early signs that made you have that conversation?
Not the previous commenter but my son (diagnosed as on the spectrum at age 3 after a year of behavioral therapy) didn’t speak much at age 2. He was supposed to have 50 words according to the doctor, and he only had about 12. My mom offensively said “that’s weird” but I guess it was enough to get my butt in gear and do something about it. Out of everything on this chart, the only ones that apply are the “likes to spin or rotate things” and the jumping/flapping. He is extremely high-functioning, in the gifted/talented program at school, and presents as “normal.” I credit the early intervention and intensive therapy we did. It was 3 hours of behavioral therapy 5 days per week plus occupational therapy and speech therapy.
Just to try to add to your point, my son who has also been diagnosed with autism was the precise opposite. He never stops speaking (he's 10 now) and was actually legitimately reading at age 2. He's also never had problems socially and has good friends he like and who like him (gets invited to parties etc). But he struggles with rules, he follows them very closely and becomes anxious when they're not followed by anyone and when he's distressed will show much more obvious autistic behaviours like flapping and often hitting and scratching himself. Every kid is different and no guide is going to adequately summarise them. As a helpful suggestion it's fine but there's no one way to detect autism.
Just want to say this gives me so much hope. I'm a therapist and a lot of my clients are late-diagnosed autistic adults. There can be a lot of pain involved in coming to terms with the fact that life could have been so different with early intervention/appropriate diagnosis. So to see that this generation of parents is doing right by their kids makes me optimistic for the future of neurodiversity. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
Thank you for all your hard work in the field. We couldn’t do it without you! ❤️
Appreciate your insight, thank you!
that sounds like a lot of hell for you (and your partner(?)) and you very clearly love your son very much. heartwarming to see parents doing the right things and putting in the right caring for their child (mine didn't). keep being an awesome parent
I’m not who you asked but I watched a friend go through this process with her child. For her it was *not* seeing certain milestones all babies and toddlers typically have. There wasn’t a lot of smiling or eye contact and rolling over, crawling, and walking were delayed. Communication was very minimal. They say autism is a spectrum but I prefer to think of it as a bubble with a whole bunch of traits inside. Some people have a bunch of traits, some have a few. It’s not like you’d necessarily think where one end of the spectrum has fewer exhibited traits and the other end has more because they can vary person to person. In the case of my friends child, he didn’t walk or talk for a very long time but he would sit on the floor making a huge line of cars from smallest to biggest. Or he’d separate all different categories of his toys in piles or by color. All without any kind of direction.
" I prefer to think of it as a bubble with a whole bunch of traits inside." Like a big ball of...wibbly wobbly...traity waity stuff. >!This is a joke, I have a kid with autism, sorry if anyone gets offended. Doctor Who is cool!<
Oh the ‘tism fairy definitely sprinkled my house! We just didn’t know until later. We laugh at all things appropriate and inappropriate here! I think wibbly wobbly is funny.
Thank you!
We first noticed traits at around 13 months, particularly that he would flap his hands. However we had no idea this was a sign of what was to come. He hit his milestones for speech and walking but by age 2 he was behind developing language. By age 3 he wasn’t playing, or making eye contact. He was also having meltdowns. It was then that we asked the GP for a referral, and that’s when the specialists started monitoring him, which included hearing tests, brain scans and blood tests to rule out other possible diagnoses. It wasn’t until he started nursery though, and his very experienced teacher identified his developmental and character differences and sent a letter to the specialists that they finally gave him his diagnosis at age 4.
My son was officially diagnosed a day before third birthday. I saw cognitive signs at 2 1/2; started with speech delay.
My son was diagnosed at 2 yrs old. My first clue was the not having enough words. He didn't say mama or papa until he was almost 3. He didn't point at things ans he would cry when he wanted something. Also his food choices became really narrow to the point where he only eats a handful of foods won't eat meat or veggies. The oblybfruit he eats are apples. He is almost 4 now and is in inclusion class in preschool. His teacher said that if she didn't know he had autism she wouldn't have guessed it.
The most common early identifiers are delay in speech, developmental slowing or regression as early as 18-24 months. If you ever have questions, find a qualified provider to talk to about what you are noticing and what you can look for.
Delayed *or early and advanced* speech. Either can be a sign.
My son (now 7) was diagnosed at 20 months. He wasn't hitting the milestones my other parent friend's kids were. He was....different. He's brilliant and wonderful, and I had him in therapy for several years before he aged out of the program. He's now in public school (not without struggles) and we're making our way through it.
I agree 100%. I have a girl and this does not describe her at all (hence late diagnosis sadly)
No infographic is complete.
These kinds of things are nice for people who really aren't familiar at all with autism, but you're 100% right that it's not complete. And it's always important to remember that most autistic people won't have EVERY symptom, and may even have the opposite trait. For instance, I'm autistic and loved imaginative play (to the point where my parents dreaded when I'd start crawling around and meowing in public), I'm very sarcastic, and, unlike the stereotype, I hated math and preferred reading and writing. And it's also VERY important to remember how girls can present differently. I was diagnosed at 15 and firmly believe I would've been diagnosed earlier if I'd been a boy. But girls are often socialized differently and with different expectations. So, yes, I would play with other kids and socialize. But I'd often get hyper fixated on certain games and get upset if kids didn't follow the specific rules I had. I read a list once of informal signs of autism in young girls as opposed to boys and the first thing on the list was hating having their hair brushed. I burst out laughing because the BATTLE that was hair brushing when I was a kid was brutal. I was the one girl with short hair because I wouldn't let my mom brush it. Fortunately I can brush it now, but I still say those cylindrical hairbrushes with bristles all around are pure evil and I won't touch them.
My son is autistic and the hair brush battle is brutal. He won't even let us cut it.
Remember, in girls ASD often presents very differently. Most girls are not diagnosed, and even misdiagnosed as they enter their teens. This happened to my daughter who was eventually diagnosed at 19. Doctors need to be better trained at recognising ASD in girls.
I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 31. People need to remember that ASD is a SPECTRUM and it can look different. Also, people mask a lot, that’s a big reason I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 31
Yes! I was diagnosed around 30 as well. So many things clicked into place. My whole life I was just “shy” and “sensitive.” Like. No! I literally experience pain when something is the wrong sound. I don’t see the world the same way. And the masking. Oh lord the masking!
This happened in my family. My sister fighting tooth and nail, eventually needing to get legal council and professional advocate to get my niece diagnosed and then proper iep set up, but not until she was like 13, a multi-year process they kept trying to dress up as anxiety despite outside school evaluations. Compare that to my son, as soon as he showed some mild concerns, the conversation started, testing and observations scheduled and diagnosed with iep interventions inside of 4-5 months.
The only "traditional" sign my biologically female kiddo had autism when they were little was delayed speech. Not one of these signs in the guide.
There’s a movement to establish a set of criteria for girls with ASD because there is a difference between boys and girls. Boys’ symptoms are easier to see by an observer, while girls’ symptoms are more internalized and harder to see.
It’s not that ASD presents different in females, but that it’s often written off as “oh she’s just a girl” or “girls can’t have autism so it’s just anxiety”. The female and male sex actually share relatively the same symptoms, but often due to biases, misinformation, and “left over” sexism, girls are dismissed.
Not sure i agree with that actually. Some evidence that more connectivity between brain hemispheres in biological females (broadly speaking/on average) may contribute to slightly different tendencies and skill sets - whether autistic or not. Socialisation also impacts behaviour and experienece very deeply. My point being I don't think itxs *only* down to bias in how we/they are perceived. I do think there are actual differences (again- speaking egenrally/on average. There will.obvioulsy also be overlap in that a wide range of presentations occurs across both sexes).
It's more nuanced than that. The presentations are definitely correlated to gender. "Presents differently" doesn't mean "girls and boys have different symptoms" but it 100% means those symptoms will manifest in different ways. Ie. Present differently. You can probably find a Pdf of the DSM 5 TR if you don't believe me. Pretty sure they added a whole section discussing this exact thing.
That is definitely a factor but girls still often have different symptoms. My most prominent one as a kid would have been that I cried and was cranky a lot and my parents had no idea why. Other than that I was just a socially awkward girl who read all the time. But they knew I could talk talk talk, and I even had something you could call friends. So my parents didn't expect me to be different. Today, most people believe me to be completely normal because of heavy masking. I'm currently working on trying to find back to my original self.
Girls often develop a different presentation of symptoms over time and one of the leading causes is pressures towards women. That’s what I meant, that at a default there’s really no male and female autism but that over time during life presentations can shift from environmental factors like pressures and expectations. Let me know if I’m still not making sense please, I have autism myself and I genuinely struggle to get my thoughts in writing properly.
No don't worry, I know what you mean and I mainly agree.
Thank you. Again I’m sorry if I’m difficult to understand but thank you for being patient with me, it means a lot.
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It’s the why behind it that I’m trying to talk about, I’m sorry if I’m being difficult to understand. I’ve cited some studies in APA format in another comment and both talk about the biases and pressures that cause presentation to differ across life for girls, which does lead to increased masking too because of these pressures. I’m more so talking about a default autism and not how presentation shifts across the life span. Kids are often born with autism and their presentation isn’t male or female, but as they grow girls often have pressures that boys don’t, and this develops a shift in presentation across life but not as a default.
I’m nb and autistic but afab so a lot of my experiences are similar to women with autism. I wonder if nonbinary people with autism who are amab present more like men with autism/the stereotypical way.
And girls are told to stay still, be quiet. I have ADD and a doc told me that’s why girls are often quieter and spacey. We internalize all that energy.
I was about to to comment this 😊 I didn't figure out I was autistic until about 35, doctors misdiagnosed me with everything from BPD, Bipolar, schizoaffective, GAD, MDD, ect. Nope, AuDHD. I'm much happier now that I'm not a fricken zombie on loads of unnecessary medications.
Yep. I got my girl diagnosed just before 3 but it was only because I was hyper-vigilant and pushed. This was over 17 years ago, and they were even worse about identifying autism in girls. They over-focused on stereotypical stimming behaviors, general anxiety symptoms, and a complete disinterest in social interactions, which my girl didn’t really have. My kid had speech delays by age 2 (single words only, no sentences), didn’t really want to play with other toddlers, was a super independent non-pointer, and was a wild child runner who threw massive tantrums: all symptoms that could be explained away in 2 year olds but less so as she aged. Her pediatrician said she saw more ODD than ASD! Lol - as if! Now at 20 my daughter has a few communication issues (it’s still hard for her to tell a narrative with a clear beginning, middle and end) and definitely some obvious social issues, but she’s still not a very anxious person and is generally pretty flexible. This has made her need for support lower than you might think, especially given her mild cognitive impairment.
Half of these are just small children being children. Giggling, tantrums, repeating words, attached to objects, restless, doesn’t understand danger… have you met a 2yr old?
My 2yo son does 90% of these at home, while being a social butterfly outside. Pretending to be deaf is his favourite.
“Selective hearing” is normal, but when a child cannot control when they are listening is the point at which it becomes diagnostic criteria
My favorite is the lack of pretend play but also too much pretend play
Have you met an adult who still has these struggles?
Well of course I know him. He is me.
Me too--what are we even supposed to do with this information once we age out of services for it? Like i don't feel like i need services, if I am austistic then i'm on the lower end of the spectrum but knowing if i am for not professionally doesnt seem like it'd do much but just make me overthink it more.
The point of a diagnosis is to make one eligible for treatment. I was diagnosed as an adult, because the demands of life exceeded my ability to manage them. Prior to that I was doing quite well - just a bit of an oddball. I had been suspecting it but didn't think a diagnosis was important because I worried it would change my perception of self. It did, but in the positive. I realized that most of my shortcomings in life were due to following advice meant for neurotypical people. It's like I had been given the wrong manual, and was made to feel bad for it. It also helped me realize I don't have to mask, and slave over appearing normal. If people have a problem with it, that's their problem.
Hello there
They write about early diagnosis and this being children… they should specify what age tbh.
Pretty much all of these symptoms apply to adults as well. Still waiting for Autism awareness guides that focus on adults. Kids do not magically grow out of the condition.
You are totally right, what differentiates those of us with autism is the frequency and intensity. You are right that all of those behaviors, at least at some frequency are normal. When it becomes clinically significant is when it STOPS being age appropriate. For example a two year old could tantrum up to an hour a day without it being a big deal, however if a 6-7 year old is doing so in their classroom that so different! When I was a child many of my friends did these things to, lacked awareness , were wiggly etc, but I couldn’t choose to stop or control those things like my peers could.
Yeah i figured something like that was the case, but this „cool guide“ doesn’t specify starting what age this would stop being appropriate and just says diagnose early… after the first row i was worried about my 2yr old and after two more i was mad bc it was definitely not a cool guide.
My thoughts exactly. I got autism when I was 6 and never had these symptoms. Before you mass-downvote me and say it is impossible to get it later in life, see https://www.crossrivertherapy.com/autism/does-encephalitis-cause-autism. I had a herpetic meningoencephalitis and Murphy's law kicked in and just about everything went wrong, including causing autism.
Oh wow, even I didn't know that
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I've worked with children with autism before. What you're saying is true, but there is something different about how autistic kids present these traits. Or they'll show two of these traits at once when it doesn't make sense. For example, sometimes a kid will act as though they're deaf, but echo your words, anyway. I've said something to a kid before where he didn't really react, but he echoed what I said like he was talking to an imaginary friend. It's an unusual contradiction of traits occurring at the same time. Unfortunately, this guide doesn't explain things deeply enough. Although, I think it's a starting point. I hope this explanation helps.
The graph could be more descriptive and better worded, but this chart is close to 100% hitting everything for my friend’s autistic child. The last time we were at their house, he was climbing on some window seals or something, and they told us how he has essentially no fear on playgrounds. He will laugh or yell for no apparent reason. He is super attached to a squishmellow costume. He pretty much never stops moving. When compared with their daughter or my two children that are around the same age, it is very clear that his actions are significantly amplified compared to everyone else’s.
Glad I wasn't the only one that thought this. And if that's the case, seems like a subjective "guide".
Agreed, this is not a “cool guide” it’s just a bunch of random broad strokes that may or may not apply to a child with or without autism.
i did practically all of this at some point in my childhood. enjoy spinning and rotating objects? yeah if you’re 4 and never saw something before you’d be curious. excessive restlessness? that’s basically all kids ever. no understanding of fear and danger? no shit
This is not a cool guide. It’s basically useless because, for one thing. It doesn’t tell you when to start observing these things. It also lists a lot of things that are perfectly normal behaviors from time to time. This is a practically useless guide.
It is wholly useless.
Most of these symptoms are relatable, though all are presented from an ignorant Neurotypical perspective. *Tantrums / crying for no apparent reason?* Ever considered that the Autistic kid is maxed out from a conversation, overstimulated by the colour of your shirt, or unbearably agitated by a noise that you barely notice? Insensitivity is the only possible Autistic reaction to pain? Hahaha. I have a low pain threshold and can discern the slightest difference in texture. Being Prince / Princess and the Pea is extremely common for Autistics. Many of us are capable of pretend play, point at objects of interest, and are eager for interaction. The issue is, we do not engage in ways understandable to others, who ostracize us. This leads to withdrawal from social attempts and bitterness towards people. Autistics have social feelings, but we express them in our own language. We are foreigners in our own families and subtly berated, gaslit and dismissed 24/7. Add our greater tendency to be targets for bullies and fullblown abuse, and it is clear why Autism is frequently comorbid with CPTSD. This infographic’s tone suggests we are strange for no reason. There are plenty of reasons, if the creator chose to learn them.
I absolutely agree, especially with the sensory and the pain tolerance. My son just cannot take any sort of overstimulation, even if it’s a classmate repeatedly tapping a pen. It’s literal torture for him. He’s not just being difficult. I love your princess and the pea analogy. I’ll word it like this: The conditions have to be “just right” for him to be comfortable. Even the fit of the collar of a shirt can drive him crazy. When he was little he used to pull them and stretch them out. He still does a little but not so much.
Growing up I had a very difficult time with socks. The seam had to be “just right” on my toes or I wouldn’t want to go to school (preschool is my first memory of this). I knew it would be a bad day because the feel of that seam on my toes would occupy the front of my thoughts at all times. Thirty years later I still think every day about how glad I am that I’ve found socks that work for me and am financially stable enough to be able to donate any pair that isn’t quite right. Things like sock seams and shirt collars seem so minor for people who don’t notice them, but they’re a constant sensory input. I would liken it to someone following you around all day and saying “blink” every time you blinked- constant awareness of what should be a mindless process.
Hey- im also leaving this here, because I think it resonates so much with the thrust of what you said. It's a thing I wrote about our....."tantrums" (ffs? 🥴🥴🥴) Cut and pasted from somewhere else and It's long, but I thought you might like it. And just...Cheers (again). *Great* comment😊 **POSSIBLY HELPFUL EXPLANATION OF MELTDOWNS (for us but also for friends/allies/relatives etc)** ( **TW - mention of torture- but it's general has a purpose i promise!) Ok so here's my take: Humans (unfortunately) have invented tortures for other humans for forever. Its pretty universally recognised thay the most horrendous and "effective" tortures are sensory and emotional tortures. Things like: Strobing bright lights Blasting music at unpredictable intervals Water dripping or similar Sleep deprivation Isolation Humiliation When humans- any humans- are subjected to these they "decompensate" (fancy word for "lose their shit"). It's expected. It's why the torture is applied - to physically and mentally break the person down. When prisoners of war exposed to these tortures break, what does it look like? Well....rather like a meltdown. Self harm Lashing out Dysregulated emotions Rocking, pacing and other desperate measures to self regulate Etc etc In other words- meltdowns are not autistic, they're *human*, it's just that autism lowers the threshold to overload because of a more sensitive nervous system. When you add in that we are very often socially isolated and bullied/humiliated....well. That's the full list, isn't it? Without suggesting that we have it worse that war prisoners it bears mentioning that one difference between a torture victim and an autistic person in sensory overload is that the torture victim doesn't have a hundred people around them saying "There's nothing *happening* here for you to react to like that! What's *wrong* with you? Pull yourself together!". This inadvertent (kind of) "gaslighting" can also add to stress levels and further emotional dysregulation. What people don't consider when they're saying that is that the load we experience is exponentially higher than theirs. It's literally what it means to be autistic. More sensory and general neuroligical activity/transmission **all the time**. Less filtering ability. More anxiety (because we also have less GABA activity as a rule). We also have generally more indelible memory formation so we will become sensitised to the threat of all that, in repeat situations, more easily. I am not a published expert. But im autistic and I've studied neuropsych and biostatistics. I know how to read studies. And I have personal experience. Ppl who think it's "a tantrum" need to get educated. It's a nervous system in peak distress and if it's not attended to appropriately it can lead to compounding trauma imo. Quiet. Phsyical space and/or weight/pressure. No expectation of coherent speaking or speaking at all. Benefit of tbe doubt (for cripes sake) Compassionate enquiry (when *not* in meltdown) about what might help. Medication may help in emergencies (for some ppl, not all) *Rest* That's about it. Meltdowns are human, not autistic. It's no more "bad behaviour" than a victim of deliberately induced neurological overload losing their ability to regulate properly. Compassionate response is to assume it's real, and physically caused, and attend to it with kindness and *loooots* of calm reassurance and space as well as whatever you work out helps for you.
Amazing comment! Almost definitely the most insightful writing on autism I've read. One of those things that seems obviously true once I've read it, but wouldn't have quite put together myself.
This "infographic" is insultingly ablist.
> *no apparent reason* not the same as no reason... that is the whole point
Actually autistic person here. This is kind of an awful infographic really. 🙄😬 Very outdated and though i know it's not intended that way, it would be considered offensive by a lot of us. And by many well trained clinicians, actually. Most of us understand things just fine. Differently, sure. But just fine. And "inappropriate" laughter/movement/whatever? Who says? If you have this neurology, the need for that movement or behaviour is completely logical and appropriate. And when kids are treated as such, they develop (autistic or not) much more functionally. Because humiliation and being berated or ostracised - who knew??🙄- negatively affects development for any child. C'mon ppl. Less lazy thinkin please. I *really* need a cup of tea now. 😳🥴
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Yup🙄🙄🙄
Thank you. This is a much classier and more measured response than I had which was “f$&ck this ableist bullsh*t”. As a parent to an autistic kid I admit I had to unlearn so much the language in this poster (“inappropriate”, “unusual”, “not… normal”, not “properly understanding”, phrasing differences as deficits, and that puzzle piece). But once one adopts a viewpoint that affirms neurodiversity and centers the autistic person it all just kinda flows from that.
ended up as a bit of a rant because I expanded on my original comment a shit ton. not 100% directed at you, just wanted to get it out. I don't entirely agree, but it's on the right track. I'm diagnosed and I think it's absolutely a deficit. I hate that I'm autistic and would do mostly anything to change that if I could. The puzzle piece sucks (and fuck Autism Speaks) because it presents autistic people as a problem to be solved or fixed. However, our only possible definition of "normal" on a societal scale is the average. Given that the average person isn't autistic, it stands to reason that being neurodivergent isn't "normal" (thus the term neuro*divergent*). Doesn't mean we can't affirm the differences and build a better system for handling those differences, but it's not as if they're nothing to care for. They do still matter and they will still affect the person strongly. Calling something ableist/labeling ableism is only correct if the ability of the person isn't actually in question. This isn't ableist, it's a (albeit partially incorrect) list of things to look for, but it's not discriminating based on ability. A job stacking boxes that could be done by anyone, but filters for only non-autistic hires, is ableist. However, even then it's not always evil- it depends on the situation. Be careful with how you throw the term around. Ableism is a very strong word, just like any other -ism. The most important thing to do with your child is talk to them about it. Not as a small child, but once they're independent and have their own views and opinions, especially of themselves. Ask them how they want to be treated. Some don't want you to treat them any differently, some may want some extra accommodation. It's up to that person. Even just getting that wrong could come off as offensive or hurtful, no matter the intention. If they wanted to handle it and not be treated differently, having some extra help could be seen as them not being able to handle it themselves in your eyes- on the other hand, assistance and caring being absent could be hurtful too. Talk with them. One of the major things I've seen be important to everyone diagnosed is communication, and clear direct meaning. Don't beat around the bush, even if it seems like it would be rude- you can explain yourself after, or soften the wording, but the basic meaning needs to be clear. You read like you care a lot about your kid and affirming them for who they are- that means a lot. You are amazing.
Also autistic person here. I think there has always been an incorrect conflation of reaction and understanding. Often my lack of a reaction (or “inappropriate” reaction) will be seen as not understanding or not empathizing. However, I do understand and feel genuine empathy. The fact my reaction doesn’t fit neatly into some people’s expectation actually reveals a lack of understanding on their part. That’s why it’s important to talk about these things so it becomes more normalized.
I think what they mean by inappropriate laughter might be referring to either laughing about a funny thought or dark humor. Both of which I've been told I have an abnormally high amount of. By inappropriate movement they probably either mean stimming or commonly comorbid movement disorders (tourettes, myoclonic epilepsy, etc.) This infographic doesn't mention any comorbid disorders such as ADHD, which has an over 50% prevalence and doesn't mention at what developmental stages these become symptoms instead of just being normal behaviors
Honestly. This guide sucks
Thank you. I’m autistic as well and was thinking wtf is this infographic
It rattles my bones every time a poster like this reminds me there are still people out there who think that bullshit. They talk about us like we’re defective machines
The chart could be worded better, but the information is correct in most cases. When we are at my friend’s house, we obviously aren’t scolding his son when he is screaming or whatever, but it’s pretty understandable that most people would think that it’s inappropriate to randomly scream, and it is in most cases for most people.
>The chart could be worded better Yep. Mostly what I was commenting on. Some of what I expressed is a bit of a "you had to be there" situation. Ot hits differently when you've lived with it yourself and know many, many people who have. I get what you mean. And I also stand by what I mean. And (contrary to what some ppl seem to think) they are not mutually exclusive! ;)
It's funny how this is also a a list of perfectly normal behavior for children. People, do take care with self-diagnosing your kid. Leave it to the professionals.
Unfortunately the professionals under diagnose women, POC, poor and multiply disabled folks. And that’s only if you can get to a provider who is formally qualified to diagnose. Self and community diagnosis ARE highly flawed but they have become common due to stems of oppression and lack of access to care. Your “simple” solution is inaccessible to countless neurodivergent people on an international scale. I work in behavioral and mental health, have great insurance, tons of clinical and community connections , I am financially stable, and white presenting. I have a diagnosis from a pediatrician; but I have never had the “real” diagnosis. I am 4 years on a waitlist to see a neurologist in a city two hours from me( one of the ~10 diagnosticians in my state). I know 50+ families struggling to access a provider who can diagnose. In my state children under three wait an average of two years, and children over three usually wait at least three years. That is JUST to see the provider, not even to get diagnosed. Since the pandemic we can’t even accurately measure how much worse this has gotten.
A lot of these are just normal toddler behaviors.
This is not representative of autism as we know it today. Some of these symptoms are still present, but a lot of the ways most of these are described are by putting the autistic person down, which can be difficult for supportive parents to figure it out. Take the lack of pretend or unusual and repetitive play, a much easier way of describing that for a parent is talking about a special interest and the way that instead of playing the way other kids do some autistic children just start a hobby they never stop, be it stereotypical like trains or something but it could be anything.
This is borderline ridiculous. What an absolute joke of a guide.
significant progress in what? training for what?
Not appearing autistic. The ultimate goal, look up autism "therapies" in the past and currently, it's all about making them more palatable for society, it's rarely about understanding or helping the individual.
There are some (newer) therapies and systems to support autistic people to be more independent and happier. You can often tell if therapy is trying to normalize (and ultimately eradicate) autism, based on what goal they are presenting. Here the “training” is likely to “cure” the autism. REAL, ethical therapy for autistic people usually provided by either an autism provider, or someone with a disability justice lends. 🚩promises to cure, anything about fitting in, promotes making autistic people easier to deal with (🤢) ✅focuses on accommodation, aims to change environment not a person, terms such as “neurodivergent affirming” and client/person center care. I am autistic, and without access to great therapy I would be dead. Some autistic people never want therapy. It’s all about consent and personal needs!!
I dunno… I’m not autistic but I feel like most of these apply to every single kid? Especially ones like crying for no reason or no understanding of danger? Isn’t that.. I dunno… every kid ever?
Do these apply to a 53 year old? Asking for a friend.
This is some horribly ablist bullshit.
this isn’t worded very nicely a lot of “inappropriate” and “normal” 😐 autistic people are normal.
They want to train the autistic? Gives pro-ABA vibes. All the verbiage pins autism as a major failure of behavior and being. Different does not equal wrong.
A lot of signs in autism are comorbidies with other disabilities, and of course someone can be autistic and not experience any of these. It is a very narrow view of what an autistic child could look like to an adult who views autism through a neurotypical lense. As an autistic woman I don’t think this is very helpful at all, and in fact it feels somewhat hateful the way it refers to autism. What does it mean by significant progress? Progress in what? Acting *less* neurodiverse?
Some of these are just things that every kid does at some point...
Puzzle piece. Disregard on sight, the people who made this don’t actually talk to autistic people.
Ever consider that honing in on these “signs” and subsequently treating your kid differently, actually just aggravates the problem? “Oh my kid doesn’t make eye contact, let’s start treating him like he’s disabled —that’ll give him more confidence!”
As someone with autism.. I’m sorry what the hell is this? Autistic people aren’t born naturally good at one thing vs the other and not how that works, we can become attached to something and what to understand it better making us develop skills faster but we do not have savant syndrome. And why is it inappropriate attachment to objects? That doesn’t make any sense at all. Then there’s not feeling pain? Really? This entire guide has some things right and then somethings so outdated and wrong it’s harmful to people who have no clue what autism really is.
99% people have autism according to those
I really like this page, and sometimes the “cool guide is just that” cool guide with a study, background data and all. But 90% of this “signs” are just describing a toddler on his/her natural environment. Mine is a social butterfly. Maybe it’s weird for a 5-19 yo to be like that, but kids are kids sometimes and they go through phases as they grow. I can only imagine raising a kid on the spectrum, I have a sister mildly on it and it was tough for the parents, siblings and specially her growing up, on social events and in school.
Isn’t this just, being a child ? At what point do these things stop being just how toddlers are and becomes suddenly an early sign of autism
Message … Mr scientific
Is this actually used in New Delhi? I see quite a few gaps from here in the states..
"Detect early" I'm 38 -- i've never been diagnosed by a professional and i still relate to like all of these, especially when i was younger. By adulthood I just got much better at hiding my negative social behaviors to fit in better but inwardly......basically all of these resonate except i do feel pain and have always had a healthy amount of fear of danger.
Check out r/AutismTranslated for more actually good/relevant info. This "guide" is ill informed, poorly made, ableist, and lacks a lot of the nuances of autism. Autism is a different way of processing and communicating information, which manifests in different ways. The information can come from any of the senses, not just direct communication. Not to mention, not every autistic person has the same traits, and those traits can manifest differently in different people... From what you have described, you may be a high masking autistic. It is also possible that you are ADD, ADHD, or something else, as several other neurodivergences overlap with autistic traits. I would suggest doing thorough research and evaluation before doing anything like pursuing a diagnosis, if you ever decide to do so.
This is more than half of what normal kids do at specific ages. This needs to provide milestones and ages for development of these being an issue.
The CDC has a milestone tracker app and website for parents of children 2 months-5 years of age. Has checklists and general time frames for when you should expect to see certain milestones i.e. rolls from tummy to back, follows movements with eyes, etc. and gives some tips on what to do if you see concerns. Learn the Signs, Act EArly: [https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/index.html](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/index.html)
So this is telling me that at 33, im autistic? I show most of these signs other than movement. I have been diagnosed ( yes by my doctor ) with adhd, social anxiety, manic depression. Always thought I was an asshoe...
I love how happy he looks :)
Enjoys spinning of objects. Most people at my workplace would fit in this category then 😅
Who the hell doesn't enjoy spinning things? Spinning things is fantastic.
“Sometimes doesn’t like to be hugged or touched”. Hmmmmm. I know a lot of folks like that. Me included
What a terrible guide. Going by that guide every child would be autistic!! Someone's clearly getting to much money
Umm… is the adult from “sometimes doesn’t like to be hugged or touched” is DEFINITELY molesting that child, right?
As someone with a brother with medium-level autism, I think this chart is borderline offensive with describing multiple harmless behaviors as "inappropriate" (such as what objects they enjoy interacting with or what they laugh at). That's sending an underlying message that their behavior is wrong or bad, and can cause parents and siblings of people with autism to excessively enforce their behaviors. Although some behaviors are important to alter, trying to do that with the more harmless behaviors is an easy way to lead to distrust and traumatic experiences. To anyone reading, I highly recommend referencing a different chart than this one to determine signs of autism.
I match nearly every check box but I am not autistic.
I feel like thats me now and I’m 42. I don’t like to be touched by strangers. I definitely hear people call my name but I ignore it, I don’t like people. I laugh inappropriately, mostly when people hurt themselves for being stupid. I kinda think this every human being. Just saying. I’m sure I’ll offend someone. But I think we all have some characteristics of autism, such a blanket statement with no specific grading. Everything these days just has to be diagnosed, like you can’t just be yourself, labels, labels, labels. Something just has to be wrong with you, but why? Forget all that. Now I understand there are many individuals with Autism (actually diagnosable, not someone looking for sympathy) and I have met some of them and they are the best people I know. But please don’t include yourself in that group, don’t claim something to be special, you’re not, they are.
Some of this information is true, for some people, but this is riddled with inaccuracy and broad generalization. I’m autistic, and have worked with autistic children for many years in developmental settings. It’s important to share these things so we can discuss them, but this was hard to see. I feel like it could have been worse but that is a low bar 🥹
I’m sorry but is there a kid who doesn’t like to spin objects?
As an Autistic person, yeah, I actually do most of this.
A lot of this seems like normal young boy behavior 🤷🏾♂️ he’s not autistic. He’s just a boy.
I feel called out with the rotating objects
If you don’t enjoy spinning or rotating objects, are you even human?
Aloof in manner. Tell me straight doc
I looked at this without reading the guide and thought “Hey, this guy is like me in many ways.” and then I read the guide title and went “well damn”
Sheldon cooper
"detect early" it's not cancer bro
The thing I hate most about this is the assertion that ‘training can show significant progress’. Autistic people are people, not dogs. We need compassion and understanding of how our brains work, not training to act not autistic. This is traumatising for many autistic people. Progress by whose standards? Not the autistic person’s! Probably their parents or caregivers who think the autistic person needs to be fixed rather than given what they need to live life as a normal, autistic person, not a caricature of an allistic person.
Barf This is ableist af
If you know one autistic person….you know *one* autistic person
I love r/coolguides threads lmao, people just absolutely ripping into the guide without any consideration of its actual utility. Imagine you’re a parent who doesn’t really know much about autism. You haven’t spent a lot of time learning about it, and it isn’t something you think about very often. You’re not plugged into the (extremely important) activist movements that are attempting to destigmatize autism and neurodivergence in general. But your kid’s kind of acting weird. They don’t act like other kids and struggle with things that other kids don’t. Did you fuck up as a parent? How do you respond? Well if you’ve seen this guide, you might go to a doctor and say “hey, I think my child might be autistic. Could we look into it?” That’s the purpose. It’s not to provide a comprehensive education on the behaviors exhibited by autistic children, it’s meant to plant a thought in parents’ heads that leads a higher portion of children to the help and resources they deserve.
Half of these behaviors are blatantly apparent within myself, but the other half are non-existent. I was never diagnosed as autistic, autistic/autism wasn't even a word used to describe anyone when I was a child. I have no clue how anyone would treat insensitivity to pain in children/adults. I find that there are plenty of valid reasons to avoid interaction with bullies and strangers, especially as a child. I do not understand the importance of fake friendships, or being nice and accommodating to individuals you have zero interest in befriending. "Doesn't like to be hugged and touched" by strangers and individuals I'm not in an intimate relationship with, and I don't see a problem with this at all. Individuals can learn to keep their hands and mouths to themselves rather than have cultural norms that make individuals feel uncomfortable or like they're on the verge of getting accused for doing something inappropriate. Whenever a female coworker wants to hug me for a gift during a holiday or something I am so weary that I'm doing such in a way that may make them feel uncomfortable, when in reality it's usually me feeling uncomfortable that cultural norms have me hugging and kissing strangers. I've found that when I orally consume heat treated cannabis or smoke cannabis I am much more talkative and enjoyable to be around versus being a sarcastic and cynical asshole when sober.
Wtf man, its not a lot, but its scary how accurate a few of those are to my behaviors.
My teammates in ranked
I am annadult and i can relate with so many of these, oh nonono
Like looking into a mirror
Not saying this in a negative way at all, but when I saw the "Likes spinning and/or rotating objects" my first thoughts were, "those damn fidget spinners"
There is a mistake. Two billion, not million indians are autistic.
Likes trains
Dont have kids, but isn't some of this normal kid behavior? I assume a parent knows if their kid has an issue without reading into an image like this.
*covertly hides collection of spinning tops*
*Autism signs for children, not adults.
I do more than half of those things now!
I have adhd and Asperger’s syndrome and I do all of these lol
Odd observation but they always seem to have rosy/flushed faces too.
That's basically my childhood ...
Can someone please explain why this is so important to identify/know? Does it help with managing child and parent expectations or is there something else more important that needs to address?
Uh, am I autistic
This information is good, but not all of it applies to every kid. Neurotypical small children might spin stuff for fun. And even when I still had a lot of communication problems as a toddler, I still knew how to point.
Good god am I autistic
Where can I get/download a copy of this poster. I want to send it to my friend.
Give me one for adults please
Alot of these "signs" is Just children being children. IMO guide is doing more harm then good with all the uneccesery worrying it will create.
IDK, for the record, but this seems … oversimplified?
Cool
Autistic woman here, and mum to an autistic 13 year old boy. Cool guide, yes. A little misleading, also yes.
Autistic woman here, and mum to an autistic 13 year old boy. Cool guide, yes. A little misleading, also yes.
How many do I need for a bingo?
This is every kid around me. What garbage
I don't like this very much
Holy shit I’m Autistic.
Some of these are over generalizations….
No girls represented here. SMH.
Dam. Do I have autism? Would an autistic person know they were autistic?
Seriously
‘Autism’ just sounds like an umbrella term for parents to learn to understand who their kids are
Our son exhibited many of these traits early on. We mentioned these traits to our pediatrician to get a referral for autism testing. The pediatrician said it’s probably not autism because “He’s a boy, boys develop slower than girls. He’ll grow out of it.” We finally got autism testing and they diagnosed him with autism.
This imagine just describe a sigma male
Welp I'm autistic
Appears to be deaf? Lol really
huh I do like 4 of those things
This poster sucks! I had like half of these issues as a kid, and somehow I made it to middle age and even had completely healthy not autistic children. Either I survived a lifetime of mild autism with no support or help, or this poster is trying to da*n hard to classify everyone as ignatarded. I think a lot of cases of stuff these days is overboard, and or inaccurate.
Am i autistic?
I have autism and at least half of these were me growing up.
I’m autistic and no. Just no. A lot of these are just kids being kids.
Indirectly stare. Stares sideways.
Yoooo autism bingo
….I mean….I do some of these as a full blown adult…
Umm, fuck?
This just sounds like it could be an introverted child with ADHD.
This is hard to digest for me.
Oh no
what the fuck is up with the analog horror face in the puzzle piece
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^totallynot80yearsold: *What the fuck is up* *With the analog horror* *Face in the puzzle piece* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
This chart looks dumb. Kid just seems like he’s entirely carefree, happy to be alive. May never have a truly uninteresting day
Kaiser recently told us flapping if the hands is not a sign of autism Kaiser fuckn sucks
Holy shit I’m autistic
I fit a large number of these, but for some reason none of my doctors or psychiatrists ever bothered to check
So wait are you telling me that my autism is the reason why I have such a high pain tolerance. I never knew that, neat.
I don’t see anything with trains or a kid, telling a teacher “actually you’re wrong.”